Poll: Best Starter Pokemon. Grass, Fire and Water. Pick one of each. Vote Now!
Author has written 17 stories for Super Smash Brothers, and Pokémon.
Name: SRG the Anthro Tiger
Age: would you like to know?
Sexuality: bi, but leans more on the gay side, I guess
Birthday: December 22
Likes: friends, family, pets, gaming, reading, writing, poetry, cooking, baking, cuddling, hunting, archery, youtube videos, learning different cultures, traveling, sweets and Dr. Pepper
Hates: Homophobia, Racist people, judgmental dick heads, loud mouths, Sexist people, Twilight, Justin Beiber and spiders
More About me: well, for ones making up OCs is very hard, normally they are base off friends x.x and I have horrible grammar and spelling, mostly because I type/write fast. More personally, I'm very shy when you first meet me, and won't talk very much, or be open. But the moment you get me out of my shell, I become a psychotic, annoying, crazy weird, psychopath, that you wish I was back to being calm, quiet and nervous. I tend to be very sarcastic and sometimes annoying, but that usually means I like you and am very comfortable around you. I'm also extremely perverted and a little messed up In The head, but I'm good at hiding it. I'm anti-social, and lack confidence...by a lot...not to mention I'm insecure and don't have much courage. I hate seeing people upset and extremely hate yelling/arguments. I can't really control my emotions, so when I feel too much (happiness, saddness, anger, etc) my eyes water up and sometimes I end up crying...yeah...
Appearance: I'm an anthromorphic tiger. My stomach, chest, muzzle and inside of my ears has white fur. The rest of my body is orange and covered in black stripes. I have messy, short, black hair. My eyes are brown and I wear glasses. Also under my left eye is a small scar but is usually hidden behind my glasses. I wear a gray, and black striped jacket with a red shirt under. I wear blue jeans and black, gray and white sneakers. I also wear a necklace with a Japanese symbol on it. I also wear a watch on my left wrist and a green bracelet on my right wrist. I also have two rings on my ring finger and thumb on my right hand. (And I'm also getting a tattoo on my left arm soon, of my favorite Beatles song, Let It be)
Weapons of choice:
Melee/Close Up: Two knives hidden in my sleeves. A staff that can be compacted into pocket sized.
Range Weapons: Bow and Arrow
Magic/Enhanced Weapons: explosive arrows, fire arrows, ice arrows, electric arrows, binding arrows, poison arrows, bullet arrows, light arrows, acid arrows, homing arrows...basically a collection of magic/enhance arrows. As an author, I have the natural ability to change reality, but to a degree. I also can perform mimicry and copy attacks and powers.
Ultimate Attack: Reverse Flow- can mimic the full power and strength of my opponent and force into my own weapon (either my knives, staff or bow and arrow)
Seme or Uke? Mostly Uke, I guess? O.o
Main Pokemon: Lucario, Jolteon, and Feraligatr
At this time, I like to introduce my two characters, base off my two closest friends:
Peach and Mr. Ghost
Name: Princess Peach Promise Toadstool
Age: "fuck you"
Gender: female ("if your too retarded to realize that")
Sexuality: Bi-Curious, but mostly straight
Birthday: March 22
Info: She is the same Peach from the Mario series, but just kinda altered. By A LOT. She is extremely badass and powerful. She takes no bullshit and enjoys hitting people. She attends to get into arguments a lot. But she does have a weakness for cute thing. (EX: puppies, dogs, wolves, dragons, cats(even though she's allergic), some Pokemon, children, etc) She likes using Mr. Ghost and SRG as punching bags. She's extremely protective of her friends. She's also extremely perverted.
Appearance: Like the regular Peach from Mario in her sports clothing. Her hair is darker and she wears her crown at all times ("no touching"). She also had a Pokeball shaped purse attached to her waist, which carries all her weapons and items (don't ask how). She also wear dragon shaped earrings and a silver key like necklace.
Weapons of Choice:
Melee/Close Up: her own fists and kicks, gold club, frying pan, tennis racket and whip.
Range Weapons: Turnips (sometimes bombs), Poltergeist 4000 and Fire Flower
Magic/Enhanced Weapons: Specially modified gloves. (Acid Gloves, Hook Gloves, Ice Gloves, Fire Gloves, Electric Gloves, etc.) Heart Magic, Peach Bomber, Vibe Powers.
Ultimate Attack: Empress- (Like Empress Peach) Peach dives in the air, a pair of wings and crown glow around her. But as she dives upward, hearts follow her. And when she summons her crown and wings, fiery hearts dances around her. She attacks either by flying forward in a powerful kick or kicks the burning hearts at her target.
Main Pokemon: Arcanine, Glaceon, and Serperior
Name: Mr. J. B. Ghost
Age: "Haha no"
Gender: male (if not obvious)
Sexuality: Straight ("don't look at me like that, I am!")
Birthday: June 2
Info: Mr. Ghost is very sarcastic and rude. He's straight forward and enjoy teasing others. While he seems like a dick, he's very protective and understanding of his friends. He and Peach clashes with each other daily. He also enjoys trolling other and making people blush. Extremely perverted as well.
Appearance: Picture combining Marshall Lee and Ghost Princess from Adventure Time, and make him a little shorter, and you get a good picture. He wears a black jacket with dark blue stripes. Also he wears black pants with a belt that has the Green Lantern symbol on it. and dark blue and black shoes. He also wears a blue. Lantern ring on his right hand. His skin is pale and sometimes clothes and skin would become transparent. His eyes are deep red, he has short hair and he has sharp teeth(close to fangs).
Weapons of Choice:
Melee/Close up: he can solidfy his limps with dark energy and attack, but other than that none.
Range Weapons: Ghost moves and Ghost Attacks (EX: Shadow Ball, Shadow Sneak, Dark Pulse, etc)
Magic/Enhanced Weapons: Natural Ghost abilities (EX: Invisibility, Intangibility, Possession, Levitation)
Ultimate Attack: Nightmare Fuel- his mouth splits open and unhinges wider with demonic teeth. His fingers sharpen to razor sharp claws. His eyes blacken and even blood begins to drip from them. A dark aura wraps around his body and smoke burns off his clothes. Also his entire presence seems to flicker and seem distorted, making looking at him create disturbing hallucinations of deep fears. He either attacks by rushing forward claws slashing and tearing, or delivers a super sonic screech that could shatter minds.
Main Pokemon: Umbreon, Blaziken and Haxorus
Other characters that show up time from time:
Cy-Fy: a talking timber wolf. Non anthro, just a wolf who can talk...yep. Cy-Fy is very sarcastic, but at the same time very lovable. He hates being 'touched' mostly because Peach continues to harass and molest him. His weapons of choice are his fangs, claws, and moon beams...yes.
I love yaoi, and I love writing it, so I hope any other yaoi lovers will read my stories and enjoy them!
Here is some of my favorite pairings...
Ouran Highschool: Host Club
One Piece (OMG TOO MANY PAIRINGS X.x)
Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus
Avatar: The last Airbender
Ed, Edd , Eddy
My Little Pony (Complicated)
Super Smash Bros
Playstation All-stars Battle Royal
Sonic the Hedgehog
God of War
Avengers/Young Avengers/ Marvel
Rise of the Guardians
How to Train Your Dragon
Kung Fu Panda
DC/Justice League/Young Justice
Monsters Inc/University (Humanized)
Music I love/like: The Beatles, Adele, Lincoln Park, ACDC, NickelBack, Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley, Garth Brooks, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, KISS, 3 Doors Downs, Wings, Journey, Kid Rock, some Katy Perry songs, Lady Gaga, Pokemon theme songs, Eminem, Queen, etc.
Games: Pokemon, Kingdom Hearts, Super Smash Bros series, Epic Mickey, Mario Series, Sonic Series, Mortal Kombat, Kirby, Star Fox, Glory of Hercules, Shadow Hearts series, etc.
TV Shows/Cartoons: Regular Show, Adventure Time, Pokemon, Big Bang Theory, Law and Order: SVU, Cold Case, Bones, NCIS, iCarly, Victorius, Wizards of Waverly Place, Drake and Josh, Georage Lopez, The Nanny, The Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, Man vs Food, Cake Boss, Bad Ink, Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Sleepy Hallow, Castle etc.
Books: Percy Jackson series, Heroes of Olympus series, The Kane Chronicles, Harry Potter Series, The Hunger Games, Michael Vey, any mythology, Killer Pizza, etc.
Movies: The Avengers, The Blind Side, Thor, Iron Man, Captain America, Bedtime Stories, Click, Shrek, Kung Fu Panda, Despicable Me, Men In Black, Rush Hour, Avatar, iRobots, Harry Potter, The Mummy, Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, Hairspray, Transformers, Lord of Rings, Wanted, Red, Planet of the apes, Final Destination, Van Helsing, Hunger Games, Pirates of the Carribean, Disney movies, Toy Story, movie with Will Smith, Karate Kid, movies with Eddie Murphy, Wreck-It Ralph, Rise of the Guardians, Brave, Movies with Johnny Depp, X-Men, etc, etc.
Anime: Pokemon, One Piece, Digimon, Inuyasha, Hetalia, Kobato, Fruits Basket, Angel Beats!, Another, Soul Eater, etc.
Animals: tigers, lions, raccoons, bison, owls, etc.
Things on the Internet, I found and liked: Facebook, YouTube, Fine Bros, Epic Rap Battles of History, e621, Hetaoni, Furthia High, etc.
"They can’t hear me anymore, so I’ll tell you in all honesty… I want to stay with them… Because they’re both very important to me."
-Alfred F. Jones(America) to Feliciano Vargas(N. Italy)
"Even when i followed different paths,no matter what i did,they still left me"Feli
"Fine! I'll run! I'll run as many laps as you want! But then I'll run away, and then...you'll have to run after me...Germany.."
"Maybe you should have learned.. to smile a little more naturally."
America to Feli. Then later, Feli to America.
"If you pass out, I’ll carry you on my shoulders and run." - America to England
"How many times will I be allowed to make mistakes? How many more times will I have to tell the same lies? How many more times will I have to watch my friends die? I made them so many promises. But when we met again next, they had forgotten all about them."
"How many... fingers am I holding up?"
"I'm sorry America. I can... no longer see..." - England and America
I:Hey Romano, can you fill in for me at work tomorrow?
I:Tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and forever and ever... can you?
R: It's your job. Just get your ass back here and fucking take care of it yourself! -Italy and Romano.
R: “Try saying my name.”
R: “No! Say my full name!!”
I: “….Italy. Italy Roma…no.”
R: “Yeah that’s right! I’m Italy too! I don’t know everything you remember, but I do plan on carrying at least a little of that burden on my shoulders!” -Italy and Romano
"This is where I fall."- China to Prussia, Russia, France, and Italy.
"Don't worry, I'll die before it can attack you."- England to America.
"*sigh, Even in this place...I'm all alone yet again."- Russia to...himself...
"Everyone died right before my eyes. The pure white piano, the pure white sheets, the pure white beds, the pure white floor, they were all painted deep red. But you know, no one blamed me. Everyone smiled at me and then they told me 'Im sorry I couldn't be by your side till the end'Italy to Germany
"I don't... want to die here... I wanted to escape with all of you..."
-Italy to Germany
“Huh?! What?! A zoo? A world zoo? Do not touch or feed the nations?!” -Spain
"No one is unneeded. There will definitely be
a time when someone is needed for something, like now." -France to Canada
"You want to know why I came back?
Because I can't think of a reason why I wouldn't help my little brother!" -Prussia to Germany
"England. I was a hero, wasn't I?
I protected you, didn't I? I could be a hero... couldn't I?" -America to England
"Listen, when that burger maniac feigning sleep wakes up,
tell him that no one said there should be only one hero." -England about America
J: "When we get out we'll sing karaoke together,
shop for yukata, saucepans, amusement park, bucket pudding,
bring instruments and play a concert together,
sudden death pillow fight...It'll be fun. Really fun. That's why, Italy..."
J: "That's why we all have to escape.
With everyone who is here, without losing a single person." -Japan and Italy
"Well I think there must be something that only Boss Spain
can do, too, but... I guess I must be the most useless of all." -Spain
"Y-you! You're ridiculously serious!
You only do what manuals say, a-and you raise dogs,
and you're a buff, and your hobby is making sweets -
That's the Germany I know! He's not that weak!!" - Italy to Germany
"What's wrong with swallowing my pride to save my brother?!" -Romano
J: "I can't help but think that Italy looks like someone who
has been standing all alone in a far place for a very long time."
A: "Then we have to run over there and catch him." -Japan and America
HRE: "This is as if you were in a dream.
Except for one thing, everything will go as you like.
That's why you don't have to worry about them."
I: "But I can't not worry. I have to go after them."
HRE: "Even though it's a dream?"
I: "Because it's a dream!" -Holy Roman Empire and Italy
"All the memories from all the loops
were packed into his head. This is the guy who's usually just
"Veh,veh!" so it was too much for him." -China about Italy
"If I can do something about it, I will help.
Because we're all fellow nations. We fight each other, we help each other,
and together we can so what we wouldn't be able to do if we were alone." -Italy
"Yeah, back then, I had no idea that it was something that
had actually taken place in the past. So, when I watched you,
Canada, and... England die, I was able to endure it,
because I'd been told that it was all a lie. But we were wrong.
The things I saw were all true... Many of my friends had lost their lives...!" -America
"I... just want him to wake up first.
More than to interrogate him or to wait... more than anything,
I want him to wake up. And then, if he wants to talk, I will, listen,
and if he doesn't want to talk, I won't ask him anything.
I think we should try trusting him." -Germany
P: "Out of curiosity, what if [the Poster Sword] broke?
What would you do?"
J: "I might lose control to the point I can no longer distinguish
between reality and fiction. After all, that is a limited edition."
P: "No, that's not what I meant...You know what?
I don't want it anymore." -Prussia and Japan about the Poster Sword
“A gentleman is always ahead of the hero, you know.” - England to America
"I’m the hero. If it’s up to me…
I’d rather be the one doing the saving.” -America
"My awesome sword!!! MY SWORD!!!!!"- Prussia about his broken sword
"I have an idea. Let’s form an alliance,
not as nations, but as humans!” -Japan
“Please…Please, if you get out, just keep running.
No matter what, don’t look back, don’t forget about me,
don’t blame me, don’t cry, and make time—” -Italy
"I just want you to come back…
I don’t want you to go through that again.” -Romano to Italy
"When I get out of here, this place won't be the same as before, you know!
As a nation, I will destroy this place!
Doesn't that make you frustrated? Huh?
I'm you last trophy, after all.
You lose the guy whose only redeeming feature is his fast feet...back...Take us back!" - Italy to Monster
To the me who lives at some point in time and who isn't alone,
Once again, I made some mistakes and also some progress.
Meanwhile, I finally, but slowly, began to learn—to rely on my friends.
I was constantly afraid that everyone would blame me for dragging them into this,
And that they would hate me,
Or appalled at me,
Or get mad at me, and leave me…
But then I was told that I had the wrong idea.
They were very mad at me, it hurt so much.
--Not that they hit me, but it really hurt.
I finally figured it out, but I can't pass this memory onto my next self.
Unfortunately, I'll lose my life yet again.
That's why I'm writing this letter.
Tell them the truth; I'm sure they'll get mad,
But it's not that they hate you
Or think you're a pain.
Why didn't you rely on your friends sooner?
What are friends for?
That's what they told me, and that's what they're going to tell you too.
I'm sure I'll cry
And then… and then… look around yourself. -Italy's Letter
John Lennon quotes
"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans."
“You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.”
“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”
“Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.”
"As usual, there's a great woman behind every idiot"
“I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?”
“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”
“One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.”
"Its weird not to be weird"
"War is over...if you want"
"Nothing is real"
“Music is everybody's business. It's only the publishers who think people own it”
“I'm not afraid of death because I don't believe in it. It's just getting out of one car, and into another”
“Part of me suspects that I'm a loser, and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty.”
“Before Elvis there was nothing.”
“You may say I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one.”
“Make your own dream.
That's the Beatles' story, isn't it? That's Yoko's story, that's what I'm saying now. Produce your own dream. If you want to save Peru, go save Peru. It's quite possible to do anything, but not to put it on the leaders and the parking meters. Don't expect Jimmy Carter or Ronald Reagan or John Lennon or Yoko Ono or Bob Dylan or Jesus Christ to come and do it for you. You have to do it yourself.
That's what the great masters and mistresses have been saying ever since time began. They can point the way, leave signposts and little instructions in various books that are now called holy and worshipped for the cover of the book and not for what it says, but the instructions are all there for all to see, have always been and always will be.
There's nothing new under the sun. All the roads lead to Rome. And people cannot provide it for you. I can't wake you up. You can wake you up. I can't cure you. You can cure you.”
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST say 'a' after every word.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problem
comebacks that always work
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
If you have a profile, paste this on your profile.
If you are really random put this on your profile.
If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you still love cartoons despite your age, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
90% of teens will want to try a drug between the ages of 13-19. If you are one of the 10 that rather lose a limb before taking drugs, copy this into your profile.
98% of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it!
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent that would be laughing their butts off.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you're friends give you odd looks for being yourself, copy this into your profile.
If you love copy thingies, copy this into your profile.
If you haven't and never will smoke, drink, (Like get drunk and do something stupid. Occasional wine and church wine is fine) and do drugs and are proud of it, (Which you are!) copy this into your profile
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think (or know) you're obsessed with warriors, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and finally leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If your friends have called you something that really, really doesn't discribe you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy and paste this into your profile.
90 percent of teens today would die if MySpace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you're one of the 10 that would be laughing hysterically, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a procrastinator, copy and paste this into your profile. Tomorrow.
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile
If you ever wondered who made up all of the 'copy this into your profile' things then copy this into your profile
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile
Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.
My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.
If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C. or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.
Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
If you've ever lost someone (cats count) you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. (W00T!)
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
Eighty percent of Americans don't smoke. If you're one of that eighty percent, copy and paste this into your profile. (And PROUD of it!)
On Sears hairdryer:
On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On artificial bacon:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
You know you live in 2008 when...
1) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years
3) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or myspace
4) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
Y BOIZ SHOULDN'T CHEAT
Jack was the most popular guy in school.
Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies.
Ashley approached the movies that night
He replied "hell yes."
Ashley had peeked through Courtney's
The next day at school Ashley wasn't
A note that read: My dearest Jack, I
Always with you, Ashley
Please foward this or Ashley will
Love vs. Sex
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared
She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.
When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.
However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.
She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.
When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.
Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.
She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.
The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.
She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.
When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.
The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.
She asked if they would ask the man one question.
Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.
When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."
Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God?
Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly believe in God..
PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you
Things to do on an Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
Ways to make sure you're insane
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.
Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"
Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.
As often as possible, skip rather than walk
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.
When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!!"
If you ever tripped where there was a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste this onto your profile.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')
After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)
One thing: What's the big deal about Twilight? If you don't get what the big flipping deal about Twilight is, copy and paste this onto your profile
15 Things to do in Walmart
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"
25 Reasons I owe my mother.
1. My mother taught me to APPERCIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3.My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into next week."
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORSIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about,"
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mout and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about weather.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
10. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck."
11. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
" You'll sit there until all that spinich is gone."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a millon times. Don't exaggerate."
13. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children i htis world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
16. My mother taught me about about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home!"
17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing you eyes, their going to freeze that way."
18. My mother taught me about RECIEVING.
" You are going to get it when we get home."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold."
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come crying to me."
21. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
22. My mother taught me MOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables you'll never grow up."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut the door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
" When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you."
9 Things I Find Annoying:
1. People Who Point At Their Wrist While Asking For The Time... I Know Where My Watch Is Pal, Where The Hell Is Yours? Do I Point At My Crotch When I Ask Where The Toilet Is?
2. People Who Are Willing To Get Off Their Ass To Search The Entire Room To Find The TV Remote Because They Refuse To Get Up And Change The Channel Manually.
3. When People Say, 'Oh You Just Want To Have Your Cake And Eat It Too.' Damn Right! What Good Is Cake If You Can't Eat It?
4. When People Say, 'It's Always The Last Place You Look.' Of Course It Is. Why The Hell Would You Keep Looking After You Found It? Do People Do This? Who And Where Are They? I'm Gonna Kick Their Asses!
5. When People Say While Watching A Film, 'Did You See That?' No Loser, I Spent 12 Dollars To Come To The Cinema And Stare At The Damn Floor.
6. People Who Ask, 'Can I Ask You A Question?' Didn't Really Give Me A Choice There, Did Ya Sunshine?
7. When Something Is 'New And Improved.' Which Is It? If Its New, Then There Has Never Been Anything Before It. If Its An Improvement, Then There Must Have Been Something Before It, So It Can't Be New.
8. When People Say, 'Life Is Too Short.' What The Hell? Life Is The Longest Damn Thing Anyone Ever Does! What Can You Do Thats Longer?
9. When You're Waiting For The Bus And Someone Asks, 'Has The Bus Come Yet?' If The Bus Came, Would I Be Standing Here Dumbass?
10 Ways To Annoy People
1. Go Into A Grocery Store And Follow Someone Around Asking, "Guess What?"
2. Go Into A Department Store And Sneak Up On Somebody Who Is Talking On A Cell Phone And Whisper, "Who're Ya Talkin' To?" And When They Say, "Hey Dude, Can I Have A Little Privacy Please?" You Say, "No, 'Cause You're In Pubic, Bud. You Can't Have Privacy In Public!"
3. Do The Old Trick When You Put Dog Crap In A Bag Then Set It On Fire, And Leave It On Somebody's Doorstep. So If They're Going To Try To Stomp It Out, They Have To Get Dog Crap All Over Their Shoe.
4. Prank Call The Same Person Over And Over Asking Them What Color Their Underwear Is.
5. If You're A Guy, You'll Love This One. Go Into Hot Topic And Pretend To Have A Heart-attack, And When A Hot Blonde Does CPR, Start Kissing Her. (Warning: This One Can Get You Slapped And Maybe A Butt-whooping From Her Boyfriend)
6. Go Into A Public Restroom And Use The Toilet Paper As A Mummy Wrap, And Jump Out Screaming, "Boo!"
7. Come Running Out Of A Restroom Saying To Random People, "Whoa Dude! Come See The Size Of The One I Just Made!"
8. Noisily Chew Gum Behind Someone Who Is Trying To Read, And When They Turn Around, Spit It Out And Hold It Out To Them And Say, "Hey, Want Some? It's Watermelon!"
9. Go Into The Toy Section And Leave A 'Used Diaper' On The Ground And Say, "The Dolly Had An Accident."
10. Go Into A Mall At Christmas Time And Pull Off Santa's Beard Screaming, "Holy Cow! It's A Fake! He Ain't Real!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents Mom and Dad.
FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
BEST FRIENDS: Would sit next to you saying, "Damn we messed up... but man that was fun!"
FRIENDS: Never see you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Have a wet shoulder from you tears.
FRIENDS: Barrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Keep your stuff for so long they forget it is yours.
FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a book about you complete with quotes, but would never actually do it.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if the crowd is doing it.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd that left you.
FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Will come in and say, "I'm Home!"
FRIENDS: Will scold the person who was mean to you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will chose between knocking them down, or knocking them out!
FRIENDS: Will read this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will steal (copy and paste) this like I did.
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