Cerulean Apocalypse
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Joined 06-04-11, id: 2963103, Profile Updated: 07-15-13
Author has written 20 stories for Vampire Diaries, Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis, Sisters Grimm, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Hunger Games, Smallville, Supernatural, Originals, and Shameless, 2011.

two idiots with a computer. Let's leave it at that for now.

Apocalypse's Free Advice

For people who have bad hearing: Get a hearing aid.

For people who have a bad memory: Eat more blueberries.

For people who have bad eyesight: Eat more carrots, and get glasses/contact lenses.

For people with siblings who look like you: Remind people you're not twins.

For people who are injury-prone (like me): Don't let it stop you from living. Also, learn first-aid.

For people who perform fake exorcisms for laughs: Never forget your Bible. I know from experience your partner won't be happy.

For people who stink at math: Get a calculator, and always make sure it's working correctly.

For people who have crazy friends: Take a deep breath, and accept the fact that you are probably crazy as well.

For people who don't want to be flamed: Never write "Plz don't flame", or anything like that on your story.

For people who want flames: Don't write "Please Flame" on the story, unless it's flame-worthy.

For people who are too lazy for socks and/or tying shoes: Just wear water shoes

For people overwhelmed with extracurriculars: Get a day planner, write everything down. Also, drop the pointless activities (i.e., watch old movie I have)

For people who have not yet realized we are morons CoughFLAMEYCough: See the top of the profile, first sentence.

For people caught in heat waves: store your pillow in the freezer, shower with cold water, and if you don't have air conditioning, keep the windows open and the fan on.

Cerulean's long list of reasons why Harry Potter is Better Than Twilight

1. Jacob Black is a lame copy of Sirius Black. Proof: They both have motorcycles, they have the same last name, they can both turn into canine creatures.

2. Bella Swan is a Mary Sue, and Edward Cullen is a Gary Stu. There are no Mary Sues or Gary Stus in Harry Potter

3. Sparkly vampires are just sad and pathetic.

4. None of the Harry Potter characters stare at peole while they sleep.

5. A Twilight vampire may have special powers, but they can only have one each. Wizards can have all of the abilities vampires have, like: Legilimency, Occlumency, Divination, and more: Metamorphmagus, Parseltongue, Animagus, etc.

6. For the Twilight series, five minutes after you meet someone, you are so in love with them that you can't live without them. Harry Potter characters do fall in love, but in much more realistic ways. And they don't lie around obsessing over it, they have more important things on their minds.

7. Voldemort is way cooler than the Volturi. (Who, for those of you who don't know, are a group of really old vamps who prevent other vamps from telling humans about their existence. No vampire would ever do this anyway, so the Volturi are useless)

8. The Twilight books have no humor.

9. Twilight only has sequels because Stephanie Meyer realized how popular it was. J.K. Rowling had always planned to write a series, even if it wasn't popular.

10. Did anyone offer to make Twilight a musical? No? Didn't think so.

11. No one dies in Twilight, except for a few people they didn't know. Every good series includes a death that has a great impact on the main character. Several beloved characters died in Harry Potter, and this helped the plot to develop.

12. Twilight does not include any exciting villains. Harry Potter has many.

13. Twilight is sexist. Bella's ideas never work, she cannot do anything for herself and is constantly being saved by men. Now think of the girls in Harry Potter. Are Hermione, Ginny, and Luna constantly playing clueless damsels in distress? No.

14. None of the characters in Harry Potter needs to be unnaturally attractive in order to be loved by their significant other. But do you think Bella would have looked twice at Edward if he was ugly?

15. Harry Potter has all kinds of fans: old, young, male, female, etc. But Twlight's only fans are preteen and teenage girls, and a few middle-aged women. And many members of these groups (including myself) don't even like Twilight.

16. The Twilight movies have bad special effects.

Favorite Quotes

- "I do not agree with a word you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it" Voltaire

- "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that," Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling

- "Ladies! Will you please shut it? Yes, I lied to you. No, I don't love you. Of course it makes you look fat. I've never actually been to Brussells. It is pronounced 'egregious'. And by the way, no I've never actually met Pizarro but I love his pies. And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is, once again, gone." (Cue slapping) Jack Sparrow,Pirates of the Caribbean, At World's End

- "I never eat December snowflakes. I always wait till January." Lucy, A Charlie Brown Christmas

- Klaus: You'll have to adjust your perception of time, now that you're a vampire.Celebrate the fact that you're no longer bound by trivial human conventions. You're free.

Caroline: No. I'm dying.

Klaus: And I could let you. Die… if that's what you want. If you truly believe your existence has no meaning. I've thought about it myself… once or twice over the centuries, truth be told. But I'll let you in on a little secret. There is a whole world out there waiting for you. Great cities and art and music. Genuine beauty…and you could have all of it. All you have to do is ask. The Vampire Diaries season 3, episode 12

- Clark: I'm Clark Kent.

Davis: Davis Bloome. I met your fiancè Clark, congratulations. She's a real catch.

Clark: I'm getting married?

Davis: Well I thought that-- 'cause I thought you and Chloe were together, and you seemed pretty close. When she said she was engaged...

Clark: Chloe's engaged?

Davis: oh, man, okay, my brain's completely gone completely D.O.A. Clark, she said she hadn't told anyone yet.Do me a favor. Don't tell her I said anything.

Clark: I won't reveal my source. Smallville season 8 episode 2

"Dear diary. A chipmunk asked me my name today. I told him it was Joe. The lie will haunt me forever." The Vampire Diaries season 3

Damon: Are you drunk?

Stefan: I don't know, Mom. Am I? The Vampire Diaries, season 4 finale

-"I'M BATMAN!" Batman, Batman Begins

- "Business as usual." Nightwing, Young Justice: Invasion episode: Endgame

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The Next Generation by marykate3000 reviews
They weren't suposed to be born. The Stoll children and the Jackson child are tri-bloods, almost as powerful as the gods themselves. So join them on their adventures leading them to the Great Gaea War.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 33 - Words: 89,213 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 4/30/2013 - Published: 6/20/2011 - Complete
That Girl Named Desiree by marykate3000 reviews
Desiree is a Quad-blood, and this is her messed up story. Daughter of Jacob Stoll and Angie Grayson. Follow her through her life from childhood to the teenage years. Must read The Next Generation first to get it.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 48 - Words: 182,624 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 2/18/2013 - Published: 8/23/2011 - Complete
Post Potter Depression by ninja-curry-girl reviews
All of Camp Half-Blood and Olympus seems to be suffering from a dangerous disorder. How did Percy not know about this?
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,249 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 10/13/2012 - Published: 8/9/2011 - Percy J.
The Mark of Athena by Flamepaw reviews
The 2,000 reviews reedited version! Rewritten for awesomeness. See A/N at the end of this story for more details. I hope everyone enjoys the real Mark of Athena when it comes out on Tuesday. Happy reading :)
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 34 - Words: 97,843 - Reviews: 2172 - Favs: 394 - Follows: 272 - Updated: 10/1/2012 - Published: 10/14/2011 - Jason G., Reyna R. - Complete
Swallowed by the Sea by ovp reviews
Why was she assigned hostage feeding duty?
Young Justice - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 37,646 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 8/21/2012 - Published: 6/13/2012 - Artemis C./Artemis, Wally W./Kid Flash - Complete
Burning Down Atlanta by ZenKat22 reviews
"Damon" Elena repeated his name, in that uncanny way of hers in which you couldn't be sure whether it was a question, an exclamation, an admonishment or simply a statement. Picks up just after 'As I Lay Dying.' Assume possible spoilers. Ensemble piece.
Vampire Diaries - Rated: T - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 22 - Words: 82,857 - Reviews: 242 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 116 - Updated: 9/13/2011 - Published: 5/19/2011 - Damon S., Elena G.
Timing by simply-aly reviews
Time passes, yet Klaus manages to stay present in Elena's life. She can only hold out for so long.
Vampire Diaries - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 922 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/27/2011 - Klaus, Elena G. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Tequila and Car Thieves
Mickey's quiet life in Mexico is interrupted when Jimmy/Steve shows up in his favorite bar. Bad singing, self-discovery, sexual experimentation, and drunken rants about exes ensue. Mentions of Gallavich, and Jimmy/Fiona. Rated T for language and mentions of sex (but nothing explicit). Oneshot.
Shameless, 2011 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,946 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/22/2017 - Steve W./Jimmy L., Mickey M.
Closet Obsessions reviews
Everyone has those embarrassing, secret obsessions that they really don't want anyone to find out about. Klaus and Elijah are no exception. Slightly OOC, could take place at any time.
Originals - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 880 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/21/2014 - Klaus M., Elijah M., Marcel Gerard - Complete
Things My Brother Taught Me reviews
Dean's taught Sam a lot of important things, including medical science, ESP, politics, denial, and affection. Here's a collection of brief moments in which Sam receives a piece of Dean Winchester's brand of wisdom. Seasons 1-9, mostly canon, oneshot.
Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,083 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/3/2014 - Dean W., Sam W. - Complete
A Stroke of Genius reviews
Children of Athena are supposed to be a blessing for the men she favors, the ones that inspire her. When intelligent-but-irresponsible grad student Frederick Chase meets a certain gray-eyed goddess, his life takes an unexpected turn when he's left with what's either the result of an instance of insanity or a stroke of genius. Oneshot.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,903 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 6 - Published: 11/24/2013 - Athena, Frederick C. - Complete
Mr And Mrs Jackson reviews
Percy and Annabeth are a married couple who seem to have it all: a nice house, a loving marriage... And a secret double life as an assassin that the other has no knowledge of. When trouble strikes their rival agencies, each is ordered to take out the other, resulting in heartbreak, betrayal, an all- out war between agencies, and weird foreign tchotchkes. AU.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,645 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 7/28/2013 - Published: 6/19/2012 - Percy J., Annabeth C.
The Talk, According to Damon reviews
Eighteen-year-old Damon must give twelve-year-old Stefan 'The Talk'. Oneshot.
Vampire Diaries - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,584 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/23/2013 - Damon S., Stefan S. - Complete
The Gifting Wars reviews
The classic Camp Half-Bood Secret Santa tradition gets a twist this year: it's not rigged! The campers are forced to give gifts more meaningful that iTunes giftcards... to people they're not even dating! Is Travis Katie's Secret Santa? Can Leo find Chiron's long-lost ex? Will Clarisse actually get Percy a gift? Let the gifting wars begin.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,209 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/27/2012
Princess Leia of Krypton reviews
Clark comes home to find that Kara has discovered the greatest set of Sci-fi movies ever made: Star Wars! We all know that Clark doesn't care much for fiction, but what about Kara? Especially when she makes a connection with one specific character in the movie. Clark agrees, but in what sense? Set in Season 7, mild spoilers for Star Wars, but they're the obvious ones :
Smallville - Rated: K - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,304 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/21/2012 - Kara/Supergirl, Clark K./Superman - Complete
Of Mirrors and Mayhem reviews
After the Everafter War, the Grimms decide to wipe Basil's memory of magic, and raise him in the city. When he visits his sisters, though, he notices how strange everyone acts. What's really going on in his family?
Sisters Grimm - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 30 - Words: 54,699 - Reviews: 280 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 8/26/2012 - Published: 7/27/2011 - Basil Jr.
Since Day One reviews
It's been one year since the the Grimm family got Basil back from the Scarlet Hand. One year since Basil was reunited with one of the few people he recognized and trusted: Red. After all, Red's known him practically all his life. And now, she has to deal with the fact that the little boy she's cared for since Day One is growing up.
Sisters Grimm - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,355 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/27/2012 - Little Red Riding hood, Basil Jr. - Complete
So Much For My Happy Ending reviews
Happy endings don't always happen. Relda, Jake, and Morgan le Fay found this out the hard way... And now, so will Bradley. This is '13 Years Later' from his perspective. A piece for all those who have ever been left at the altar, literally and figuratively.
Sisters Grimm - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,876 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/22/2012 - Complete
What Not to Do With the Golden Cap reviews
Henry and Jake: two impulsive, fearless, and occasionally idiotic teenagers who come across the famous Wicked Witch's Golden Cap. What could possibly go wrong? Side story to our 'Of Mirrors and Mayhem' but you don't have to read that to understand.
Sisters Grimm - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,460 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/13/2012 - Henry G./Hank, Jacob G./Jake - Complete
Dear Santa Love, Camp HalfBlood reviews
Most of them were probably too old to send letters to Santa. But when Percy goes missing, all the campers decide to write to Santa, telling him what they really want for Christmas. Takes place after TLH but before SON.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,946 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/25/2011 - Complete
Slipping Through My Fingers reviews
Katniss's mother writes her a letter. Takes place after Mockingjay. Oneshot.
Hunger Games - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,074 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/23/2011 - Mrs. E., Katniss E.
The Hangover of Olympus reviews
The night before Percy and Annabeth's wedding, their friends take them out for a night of fun. When they wake up confused and both the bride and groom are missing, they must backtrack their steps and try to remember just what happened.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 15,369 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 12/3/2011 - Published: 10/5/2011 - Complete
A Very Percabeth Thanksgiving reviews
After eight years of dating, Percy still hasn't proposed. But now, he has a plan. On a very crack- filled, OOC Thanksgiving, will he finally ask the question? Not to be taken seriously.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,848 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 6 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Percy J., Annabeth C. - Complete
In Terms of Romance, Good Luck reviews
Leo is still single. This is bad. He doesn't know about Mary-Sues, and a bunch of them are about to arrive at camp. Can Nico warn him in time, or will Leo be taken by the Sues?
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,403 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/4/2011 - Leo V., Nico A. - Complete
Victor's Death is a Burden to All reviews
After the season finale, Victor dies. However, the cause of death is unclear, and two students are accused of murder. Will they avoid jail? Will they Find the cause of Victor's death? WILL THEY SAVE ANY HEDGEHOGS? *story needs a better title*
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,378 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/1/2011 - Published: 7/25/2011 - Complete
Seriously, What Was I Thinking? reviews
Katherine's thoughts after she brings the cure to Damon, and leaves Mystic Falls, summarized in an angsty oneshot. She wonders why she did it. Contains spoilers for episode 2.22. Rated T for a few bad words.
Vampire Diaries - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 626 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/26/2011 - Katherine - Complete
Sibling Therapy reviews
Damon can be a bad brother, but now he's done the unthinkable: Driving Stefan's car into the living room. Screaming ensues, and Elena, sick and tired of it, sends them to Sibling Therapy. Post 2.22, slightly OOC.
Vampire Diaries - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,146 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 7/16/2011 - Published: 6/13/2011 - Damon S., Stefan S. - Complete