Useless Tiny Gay1698
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Joined 06-06-11, id: 2969109, Profile Updated: 08-07-13
Author has written 8 stories for Alice in Wonderland, 2010, Rizzoli & Isles, Fosters, Once Upon a Time, and Maleficent.

Hi there! I'm Doc!

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: Copy this on your profile!

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

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If You Were Flying by EvilRegalOncer reviews
Aurora gave Maleficent back her wings. But she also makes the fairy's heart soar in ways she never expected. And now, at long last, they have the chance to go flying together.
Maleficent - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,440 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 29 - Published: 6/2/2014 - Maleficent, Aurora - Complete
Beauty and the Beast by Emerald Embers reviews
A quiet moment discussing nicknames and the reasoning behind them. Aurora/Maleficent
Maleficent - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 609 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 10 - Published: 6/2/2014 - Complete
Out of Sight, Out of Mind by A Markov reviews
Sequel to Vanishing Love. Violet thought growing up was hard, until she fell in love. Now she is struggling to build a future in a relationship that nobody, including herself, understands but the past won't leave them alone. Is their love strong enough? Can they find balance between love, family and duty? The resurrection of a sinister Agency project puts everything to the test.
Incredibles - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 77,582 - Reviews: 271 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 5/1/2014 - Published: 8/22/2008 - Violet P., Mirage - Complete
Mistletoe Madness by Oparu reviews
Prompt: A spell goes wrong and makes Emma fall in love with Regina. Of course, it's a little more complicated. One shot, Swan Queen, Regina character study.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,031 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 11 - Published: 9/22/2013 - Emma S., Regina M./The Evil Queen - Complete
Dating Chloe Beale by awriterofthings reviews
Snippets of Beca and Chloe's relationship
Pitch Perfect - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,334 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 25 - Published: 12/13/2012 - Beca M., Chloe B. - Complete
No 'Mrs' To Be Found by krazyhippo66 reviews
It's Maura's third and final year away from the BPD and her Medical Examiner position. Instead she's been teaching at the local high school. Jane has a few ideas to help her start off the school year right. Established Rizzles, One Shot, major fluff.
Rizzoli & Isles - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,940 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 11/23/2012 - Published: 10/4/2012 - J. Rizzoli, M. Isles - Complete
The list by Angel Scones reviews
Maura finds a unexpected list on Jane's desk and decides to make one of her own. working toward rizzles
Rizzoli & Isles - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 39 - Words: 37,033 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 11/18/2012 - Published: 5/15/2012 - M. Isles, J. Rizzoli - Complete
Subtexts of the Caribbean by Reallybigpineapple reviews
Every fandom needs a pirate AU, it's practically the law, right? Maura is a noblewoman visiting the Caribbean during the golden age of piracy and has runs-ins with two famous pirates, one insane, dangerous and smelly, the other one with a smoky voice and lovely dark eyes... Rizzles smut and silliness, not to be taken seriously.
Rizzoli & Isles - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 19,490 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 183 - Updated: 9/16/2012 - Published: 6/14/2012 - M. Isles, J. Rizzoli
The Cabin by VisualVibes reviews
Tired and in need of relaxation, Maura takes Jane to a special place that becomes special to them both.
Rizzoli & Isles - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 20,351 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 213 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 8/9/2012 - Published: 6/30/2012 - J. Rizzoli, M. Isles - Complete
StarCommand by Sydneypress reviews
AU. Jane is the Captain of a Spacecraft and Maura is the doctor on board. A sci-fi AU version of Rizzles. Rated M for language and later chapters.
Rizzoli & Isles - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,948 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 7/29/2012 - Published: 6/30/2012 - J. Rizzoli, M. Isles
Love Means Never Having to Say You're Delusional by JoBethMegAmy. my homegirls reviews
Oneshot that treats the idea of Jane being kidnapped and handcuffed to a bed as something you don't just make jokes and say "what ho, good times!" about two minutes after the fact.
Rizzoli & Isles - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,996 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 37 - Published: 7/18/2012 - J. Rizzoli, M. Isles - Complete
Fabricated Stories and Crazy Nuns by LileyKigoSpashleyRizzslesLover reviews
Maura's a little nervous about an upcoming lunch date with her biological mother but Jane is ever determined to make sure it all goes smoothly. Continuation of S3E5. Jane/Maura. Now a twoshot due to popular demand!
Rizzoli & Isles - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,069 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 7/10/2012 - Published: 7/4/2012 - J. Rizzoli, M. Isles - Complete
Stereotypes and a Third Season by AdmHawthorne reviews
Based on the Twitter!Jane & Twitter!Maura idea that the show is a documentary, Maura discovers the fandom. Rizzles at the end.
Rizzoli & Isles - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,848 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 19 - Published: 5/21/2012 - J. Rizzoli, M. Isles - Complete
Zabby One Shots by SaikohBellaL reviews
This is a series of Zabby one shots. Each Chapter is a new story/one shot. Enjoy!
NCIS - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,817 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 1/16/2012 - Published: 1/14/2012 - Abby S., Ziva D.
Happiest New Year's Ever by Zivacentric reviews
Abby has feelings for Ziva that are one-sided. Or are they? What should one agitated scientist do on New Year's Eve to start 2012 off with a fresh start? Written for smackalicious. More sweet than hot, but there's some sizzle. :p
NCIS - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,103 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/9/2012 - Published: 1/8/2012 - Ziva D., Abby S. - Complete
Lost in reality by butchslash reviews
Mirana wasn't sure about much now, not even her own name or if Underland truly exists but she believes in the memory of a golden haired champion, she still believes in Alice. She promised herself never to forget.
Alice in Wonderland, 2010 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,859 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/19/2011 - Published: 12/14/2011 - Alice K., White Queen/Mirana of Marmoreal
The Vow by talkswithherhands reviews
Set right after Ruth returns back to Alabama with Idgie and walks outside after having talked to Papa and Mama Threadgoode. Ruth/Idgie. Please review.
Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,186 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/1/2011 - Complete
Tells to the Puzzle by Moody-Muse reviews
McGee being a meany, Ziva being protective and Abby being a catalyst. Femslash.
NCIS - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,308 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11/30/2011 - Abby S., Ziva D. - Complete
a heart enclosed in steel by butchslash reviews
only love would make her take up arms and only love could make her leave... and only love can bring her back.
Alice in Wonderland, 2010 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 7,614 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/14/2011 - Published: 11/3/2011 - Alice K., White Queen/Mirana of Marmoreal - Complete
Not so Different as Night and Day by RainboIsland reviews
A series of drabbles and one-shots. All Zabby, femslash ye be warned.
NCIS - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 9,892 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 9/30/2011 - Published: 7/9/2011 - Abby S., Ziva D.
Unnatural Attractions by stuck-on-air reviews
Violet Parr's confusing world is turned upside down and righted by a very odd little boy and his mother. Mirlet: femmeslash romance. WARNING!: This story is under reconstruction; upon completion the current chapters will be deleted and replaced three/week then one/week.
Incredibles - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 24,551 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 106 - Updated: 4/17/2011 - Published: 8/13/2010 - Violet P., Mirage
Change Can Be Beautiful by Zivacentric reviews
Everyone's worried about Abby & Ziva is determined to get to the bottom of it. Along the way, a mutual attraction takes Abby by surprise. Will their relationship change? What will happen if it does? Femmeslash. Rating has gone up just to be safe.
NCIS - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,389 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 1/3/2011 - Published: 1/1/2011 - Ziva D., Abby S. - Complete
Ariel & Belle: A Human in Atlantica by Crazy Cat Lady reviews
Overjoyed that Ariel is alive and well, King Triton invites both his daughter and Belle to Atlantica for celebrations. However, he believes it best that Belle's true identity be kept a secret for now... but secrets have a way of coming out...
Disney - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,156 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 10/3/2010 - Published: 9/6/2010
I Almost Lost You by BeForeverYoung reviews
How the season finale should have happened...Jane/Maura
Rizzoli & Isles - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,539 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 189 - Follows: 41 - Published: 9/18/2010 - J. Rizzoli, M. Isles - Complete
Nothing Like Love to Pull You Up by kabensi reviews
Several years later, Quinn and Rachel reconnect. Future!Fic Femslash RachelQuinn
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 13,885 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 356 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 11/18/2009 - Published: 11/11/2009 - Rachel B., Quinn F. - Complete
Wonderwall by missanomalous reviews
Vignettes about Quinn's life as she integrates into the Berry household.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,530 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 415 - Follows: 25 - Published: 10/14/2009 - Quinn F., Rachel B. - Complete
Higher Education by WhosYourMutti reviews
AU: What if Alex and Olivia had met once before Alex was assigned as the squad's ADA? This is my first published story and I am open to all feedback...just please be gentle.
Law and Order: SVU - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,624 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 14 - Published: 11/25/2008 - O. Benson, A. Cabot - Complete
Christmas Present by XaykWolf reviews
Oneshot AO A special present to Liv on Christmas. Femslash
Law and Order: SVU - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,726 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/27/2007 - A. Cabot, O. Benson - Complete
Vanishing Love by A Markov reviews
Four years after the death of Syndrome, Mirage has her sights set on a Parr and Helen is ready for a fight. But which Parr is it and why? Last chapter! Everyone's trying to save Helen but time is running out. Can Vi save her mother and her relationship?
Incredibles - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 44,165 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 249 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 7/25/2007 - Published: 1/14/2007 - Violet P., Mirage - Complete
Inn Between by Lex 'Spork' Tenou reviews
Sometimes, even the greatest will is stuck in between an Earthbender and a hard place. KataraToph, PG13. Lesbian content.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,066 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 18 - Published: 5/5/2007 - Katara, Toph - Complete
Clips and Phrases by Rhianwen reviews
An unlikely couple and the moments they share. VioletMirage entry for 1sentence challenge on livejournal.
Incredibles - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,807 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/31/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Secrets Revealed reviews
Post movie: At the age of twenty Queen Aurora has never known exactly how Maleficent woke her from the curse and when pressured to chose a suitor by her advisors her dear friend Philip sheds a bit of light on the situation, leaving the Queen with more questions than answers. Prompting Aurora seek out the truth about that fateful night. Aurora/Maleficent fluff don't like don't read
Maleficent - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,601 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 193 - Follows: 76 - Published: 6/1/2014 - [Aurora, Maleficent] - Complete
A Familiar Change reviews
When Regina gave Emma and Henry new memories and a new life a few pieces she didn't plan we're added into the mix. So when Emma and Henry leave New York for a fresh start in Storybrook, The Savior and her son are in for a shock when one of the town's residents is someone they remember from their life in New York. Swan Queen. (3x12 didn't happen here)
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,619 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 183 - Updated: 4/3/2014 - Published: 3/15/2014 - [Emma S., Regina M./The Evil Queen] Henry Mills
Wanting Mama reviews
A little one shot about the first time Lena felt like her, Stef and Brandon truly were a family.
Fosters - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,354 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 9 - Published: 1/15/2014 - Stef F., Lena A., Brandon F. - Complete
A Few More Hours reviews
Maura wakes up before Jane the morning after Their first time together and Rizzles fluffy goodness ensues. Established Rizzles
Rizzoli & Isles - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,204 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 19 - Published: 8/7/2013 - J. Rizzoli, M. Isles - Complete
Detective Brightside reviews
Jane is in love with Maura and plans to tell her but when she arrives at the doctor's house she get a surprise. based loosely off Mr. Brightside by the Killers. One Shot
Rizzoli & Isles - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,131 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 21 - Published: 8/7/2013 - J. Rizzoli, M. Isles - Complete
That Summer reviews
Jane Rizzoli remembers the moment she met her soul mate like it was yesterday. But that was years ago and she hasn't seen or heard from her since that last day on the beach.
Rizzoli & Isles - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,907 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 12 - Published: 3/29/2013 - J. Rizzoli, M. Isles - Complete
The Queen Is In Need Of Her Champion reviews
Alice promised her queen that she would return one day. Now almost seven years later she has a feeling that Queen Mariana is in need of her champion. But will Alice be able to be a proper Champion while trying to hide her feelings? A Malice story
Alice in Wonderland, 2010 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,766 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 8/9/2012 - Published: 12/12/2011 - Alice K., White Queen/Mirana of Marmoreal
Ipod Shuffle Challenge reviews
The Ipod Shuffle Challenge for Jane & Maura Rizzles . My first Rizzoli & Isles fic. FEMSLASH, You have been warned.
Rizzoli & Isles - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,298 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/20/2012 - J. Rizzoli, M. Isles - Complete