Author has written 12 stories for Penguins of Madagascar, Ice Age, Kung Fu Panda, and Cars.
Hello, Fanfictioner! I hope you are all having a nice day!
Name: Kristen J. Classified
Sex: Female... duh...
Relationship Status: Married to my baby, Savannah Yes, I'm bi. Got a problem with that?
From: The South, gots an accent ta prove it.
Eye color: I'm blind in my left eye, so it's really light blue with a scar running over/through it. My right eye changes with my mood, dark for mad or sad, light for happy or excited (no joke), plus it depends on the brightness of the day/night.
Avatar: Provided by LauraHudson on Deviantart! Thanks, girl! :D ZOMG SARGE CUTE FACE! Check out her work :)
Books: Any and all books, especially James Patterson books ^^
Movies: Disney & Pixar Animated Movies, Kung Fu Panda 1&2, Lion King 1&2, Shrek 1&2, all Ice Age related movies, Cars 1&2, and Teen Titans: Trouble in Tokyo.
Cartoons: KUNG FU PANDA (LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS!!!!!!) :) :) :) :) Penguins of Madagascar (at my age? :)) Fairly OddParents, Monster Buster Club, and Teen Titans.
Games: All Spyro and Legend of Zelda games! (Twilight Princess! 8D)
1. Sarge (Cars 1&2)
2. Fillmore (Cars 1&2)
3. Ramone (Cars 1&2)
4. Doc (Cars 1)
5. Finn McMissile (Cars 2)
FAVORITE BAD GUYS:
1. Professor Z (Cars 2)
2. Grem (Cars 2)
3. Acer (Cars 2)
4. Miles Axlerod (Cars 2)
5. Chick Hicks (Cars 1)
OC: Kristen (Kitty) Blowhole- Dr. Blowhole's daughter. She was forced into prostitution and being a stripper by her father so he could get 200 henchmen from the mafia. Seductive at times, though that is because of the stripper she was forced to be. Had an intrest in Rico when they first met in my story, "Ally or Evil?", but quickly back off when realizing Skyla was his girlfriend. She is very nice. She is ashamed of her father because he is evil. She hates him because he treated her like an item by trading her. He caused her to be blind in her left eye by slashing it, fueling her dislike for him. Shows an interest in Julien. She has dark brown hair that is shoulder length. Her left eye is pale blue, while the right one is dark blue. Usually wears revealing clothing thanks to being raised near stripper clubs most of her life. Her mother was murdered by the mafia, though she and Blowhole don't find out until a later story which you will have to wait for. Feels extremely guilty for being Blowhole's daughter. She becomes best friends with Skyla. Actress that plays her is Angelina Jolie (younger).
(Got rid of the other's portfolios. Sorry!)
OC: Mariana- Diego's daughter in my story "The Star of His Sea." She is young, and is very sweet. She has a sarcastic side as she grows up with the herd (who wouldn't?). She has peach-colored fur, hazel brown eyes, and a long tail. She is very naive and innocent, though she knows when something is wrong. She loves her father and is always with him if she can be. She grows to like the herd (though her unspoken favorite besides her father is Manny). She has no demons (her father makes sure of that). She is very smart, cute, and energetic. She will brighten your day, no matter what has happened. Her smile and laugh is contagious, so watch out or you'll be infected! Mariana is a joy to have around, and she will say and do things that will lift your heart! Voice actress is Jenna D. A. Ronzzio
FUTURE STORY!: Kung Fu Panda: ... And She Prayed- AU, modernized, and humanized. Tigress and Crane are keeping many secrets. Adopted fathers? Secret siblings? A story of romance, jealousy, secrets, abuse... And who could forget drama? VERY graphic violence and hints of rape. You've been warned...
FUTURE STORY!: Cars: Untitled- When a girl is found at Sarge's doorstep, the army jeep wonders how he ever lived without her in his life. Well, her and Fillmore. Slash Daddy!Sarge and Daddy!Fillmore :3
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE GOOD GRADES, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be controlling.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pendantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I'm DYSLEXIC, so I MUST be stupid.
I have OCD, so I MUST be a psychotic freak.
There are MANY THINGS WRONG WITH ME, so I MUST be a HYPOCHONDRIAC.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hate everyone who's: gay, atheist, non-Christian, or a sinner.
I am a HUMAN BEING, so I MUST be stereotyped.
And with that, I thank you ^^ Oh, and, don't worry. I won't temp. ^^ (Inside joke :))