Dr. Platypus
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Joined 06-11-11, id: 2981894, Profile Updated: 01-23-14
Author has written 14 stories for Harry Potter.

Yes, I really have a Ph.D., but I only use it in dire emergencies.

I'm an editor who also teaches a little bit at the local University.

My writing niche seems to be goofy parody song lyrics and Elsewhere Fics. Ms. Rowling has provided such a rich and detailed world that it seems a shame to be locked into the small sliver of characters and settings she has provided in her books when there's a whole big wizarding world available to play in!

For news and bonus features related to my original fiction, visit

My most ambitious fanfic project has been to try to flesh out what Wizarding America might be like. You won't find many familiar faces (that may change in a future installment I have in mind), but I hope you'll recognize Malkin Academy as sitting comfortably in the same universe as Hogwarts.

Chronologically, my Malkin Academy stories proceed as follows:

(1) Malkin Academy: Different Worlds. A brief introduction to some of the characters featured in subsequent installments.

(2) Malkin Academy: The Cup of Kings. My first attempt at a full-length story. There is obvious room for improvement, but it gives a good introduction to my vision of Wizarding America.

(3) Malkin Academy: The Fearful Secret. I think this is a better story than Cup of Kings, and it should mostly stand on its own, but it may be helpful to read Cup of Kings first.

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Alexandra Quick and the Stars Above by Inverarity reviews
Alexandra Quick is determined to cheat her fate and see justice done, but she faces a vengeful conspiracy and secrets she is not prepared for. She'll need the help of her friends, but even that may not be enough against the power of the Stars Above.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 39 - Words: 261,980 - Reviews: 671 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 5/11/2012 - Published: 12/30/2011 - OC - Complete
Hogwarts 1940 by King in Yellow reviews
The war in Europe and a trainload of muggle children, sent as evacuees to the safety of Hogsmeade, receive more attention in the village than events in the wizards' school. Familiar names wear younger faces. Acts of kindness bring their own punishment.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 20 - Words: 139,700 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 10/8/2011 - Published: 4/16/2011 - Complete
Professor Muggle by MuggleBeene reviews
Hank Boyd found himself teaching Muggle Studies wondering how he was going to make it through. He's just been dumped, wasn't getting any younger and has no magic. Luckily his friends Neville Longbottom and George Weasley are there to help.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 128,854 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 12/29/2010 - Published: 12/27/2010 - OC - Complete
Alexandra Quick and the Deathly Regiment by Inverarity reviews
Alexandra Quick begins eighth grade at Charmbridge Academy angry and in denial. When guilt and obsession lead her to a fateful choice, it is not only her own life that hangs in the balance, for she will uncover the secret of the Deathly Regiment!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 31 - Words: 204,133 - Reviews: 567 - Favs: 249 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 6/14/2010 - Published: 2/28/2010 - OC - Complete
Hogwarts 1835 by King in Yellow reviews
The school stood long before the boy with the unusual scar arrived. Each year new students enter, and old leave. 1835 featured its own triumphs and tragedies as students in the houses contend with each other for recognition as the best house at Hogwarts.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 24 - Words: 137,000 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 5/14/2010 - Published: 10/23/2009 - Complete
Run that by me again? by Sarah1281 reviews
Ever wonder 'Why don't they just do that' "A lot of the greatest wizards haven't got an ounce of logic." Harry and Hermione, however, were raised in the muggle world and are therefore fully capable of thinking things through...A collection of of one-shots
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 21 - Words: 53,842 - Reviews: 1751 - Favs: 2,936 - Follows: 2,027 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Alexandra Quick and the Lands Below by Inverarity reviews
Seventh grader Alexandra Quick returns to Charmbridge Academy. This year she will face bullies from another wizarding school, a secret Dark Arts club, and her father's scheming, but her most terrible trials await her in the strange and deadly Lands Below!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 37 - Words: 235,084 - Reviews: 724 - Favs: 313 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 6/3/2009 - Published: 11/29/2008 - OC - Complete
Dumbledore's Army and the Year of Darkness by Thanfiction reviews
Originally posted as the Dumbledore's Army Series: A novel following Neville and the D.A. through the 7th year at Hogwarts under the reign of Snape and the Carrows. Contains ALL previously posted sections.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 256,506 - Reviews: 1579 - Favs: 2,783 - Follows: 479 - Updated: 6/15/2008 - Published: 6/11/2008 - Neville L. - Complete
Hogwarts Houses Divided by Inverarity reviews
The war is over, and all is well, they say, but the wounds remain unhealed. Bitterness divides the Houses of Hogwarts. Can the first children born since the war's end begin a new era, or will the enmities of their parents be their permanent legacy?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 205,083 - Reviews: 776 - Favs: 970 - Follows: 237 - Updated: 4/22/2008 - Published: 12/30/2007 - Teddy L., OC - Complete
Alexandra Quick and the Thorn Circle by Inverarity reviews
The war against Voldemort never reached America, but all is not well there. When 11-year-old Alexandra Quick learns she is a witch, she is plunged into a world of prejudices, intrigue, and danger. Who wants Alexandra dead, and why?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 29 - Words: 165,657 - Reviews: 498 - Favs: 516 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 12/24/2007 - Published: 12/23/2007 - OC - Complete
Harry Potter and the Overdone Plot Devices by citygirl1116 reviews
Exchange Students, time turners, potions accidents, long-lost twins, mysterious new powers, snogging, more exchange students...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 17,349 - Reviews: 1412 - Favs: 779 - Follows: 298 - Updated: 9/25/2004 - Published: 3/24/2004 - Harry P.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Death Eaters reviews
If Michael Jackson's hit song had been about the Dark Lord's minions.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 245 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/14/2012 - Severus S., Draco M. - Complete
In the Presence of My Enemies reviews
War threatens to disrupt the first Triwizard Tournament. The heads of Hogwarts, Durmstrang, and Beauxbatons are determined to press on, however; but they'll have their hands full keeping the three champions—and their supporters—from killing each other.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 24,814 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/11/2012 - Published: 3/4/2012 - OC - Complete
One Last Wand reviews
The little French town of Beauxbatons is known in the wizarding world for two things: fine wands and a superb Academy of magic. This is a story about both.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,814 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/10/2012 - Published: 1/3/2012 - OC - Complete
Populating Wizarding America reviews
This essay is a study in the demographics and geography for fanfiction writers who want to envision what America might be like in the wizarding world of Harry Potter. It is certainly not canon; it rarely rises above the level of rank speculation!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,172 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/1/2012 - Complete
Harry, Did You Know? reviews
My profoundest apologies to any and all who enjoy Mark Lowry's "Mary, Did You Know?"
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 181 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/15/2011 - Harry P., Ron W.
Malkin Academy: The Fearful Secret reviews
A long-forgotten evil threatens to rise again at America's oldest wizarding school. Malkin Academy needs a hero, and fate has provided the most unlikely hero of all. A tale of Quodpot, Dark magic, and Wizard Wheezes.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 74,065 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/11/2011 - Published: 11/6/2011 - OC - Complete
Edwin Potter and the Gift of Berossus reviews
James was not the first Potter to menace the halls of Hogwarts with a band of troublemakers. Edwin Potter longs for a life of adventure, and there is plenty to be had in Queen Anne's nascent empire. But first he must face the only man he ever feared.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,415 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/7/2011 - Published: 11/10/2011 - OC - Complete
The Snorkack Connection reviews
Some day we'll find it: the Nargles, the dreamers, and me.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 194 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Published: 11/1/2011 - Luna L. - Complete
Death, Taxes, and Magic reviews
How does a wizarding school with a German name and Slavic students and teachers end up at a secret location in the far north of Europe? Here is one possible explanation of the geographical oddity that is Durmstrang Institute.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,077 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 10/31/2011 - Published: 10/27/2011 - OC - Complete
Malkin Academy: Different Worlds reviews
A girl is invited to join the world of witches and wizards, but first she must escape intruders from a far different world that neither she nor her magical visitors have ever known. Prequel to "The Cup of Kings."
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,156 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/14/2011 - Published: 7/13/2011 - OC - Complete
What's in a Name? reviews
A story of how Hogwarts—and its four founders—got their names. You may enjoy this story if you're willing to risk learning a little history.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,746 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/8/2011 - Published: 7/7/2011 - Salazar S., Godric G. - Complete
Malkin Academy: The Cup of Kings reviews
Could the oldest wizarding school in America hide a weapon that would have made Voldemort unbeatable? The daughter of the young wizard who almost solved the mystery needs to know—before the answer destroys her family! A celebration of American wizardry.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 24 - Words: 62,862 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 7/4/2011 - Published: 6/14/2011 - OC - Complete
The Harry Potter Fan's Song reviews
I am the very model of a major Harry Potter fan.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 425 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 13 - Published: 6/22/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
Lord Voldemort's Favorite Things reviews
The Dark Lord meets the Sound of Music.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 132 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/13/2011 - Voldemort - Complete