Name's Primus.

I'm sort of quiet person and right down to the point, so if you want to private message me then keep it short and simple.

I also have a thing for anthropomorphic characters so if you hate them then don't read the stories.

I will say though that most of these stories are made with a co-author (Mostly co-written by Flair the demon dragon king). Only a few that I made like Zootopia and X-Com was done mostly by me. In fact, I will warn

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Games

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For the Picture I Put Up A Long Time Ago

Made it myself in art class in two class periods. I was able to finish Primus whole, but not add much to the background. Hope it pleases some people.

Picture Now

Made it using a 3D Pony creator. Not bad for myself and more better then the flat verison.

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Sorties I'm writing:

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(for another site that I will list later)

I am now also on FimFiction. (Primus on FimFiction)

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WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In.'

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their coffee addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For smuggling diamonds.

' 7. Finish all your sentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy.'

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To go.'

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask 'Why don't the poems rhyme?'

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address your by your wrestling name.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I won!! I won!!'

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling 'Run for your lives, they're loose!'

19. Tell your children (or someone) over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go.'

20. Whenever you can't think of anything else to say, grin widely, bug out your eyes and say 'I have Pez.'

21. When in a crowded elevator, fake hacking and coughing. Then count how many people get off on the very next stop.

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Funny Quotes:

"Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

"There's no 'I' in team." "Oh yeah! Well there's no "you" in "team" either! So I guess if I'm not on the team and you're not on the team, then nobody's on the goddamn team. The team sucks!"

"Sarcasm is a body's natural defense against stupid."

"Bed is for sissies, unless you're having sex in which case... yeah, bed is still for sissies." Gregory House - House

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You know you live in 2007 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

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-I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll. "Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me, "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "What if we checked again, just in case you do have enough money?'' "OK" he said "I hope that I have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mommy can give it to my sister. He heard me! I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose. My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article: 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car, where there was one young lady and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to recover from the coma. Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched you, have a heart.

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READ THIS:

Isn't it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a mini with a t-shirt that barely cover anything? Isn't it funny you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful? Isn't it funny that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone

Are you laughing?

Isn't it funny an emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity? Isn't it funny that you don't mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?

I'm not laughing,

It's so funny that you and your friends can make a girl's life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting. Isn't it funny that you can call emos, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart. HOW YOU CAN CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOUR NOT EMO" OR "ATTENTION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER WRISTS AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCHTIMES CRYING INSTEAD OF LAUGHING WITH HER FRIENDS

Keep on laughing,

Isn't it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life without knowing her situation with her friends or her family or her LIFE.

BRAVE ISN'T GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING, BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND. BRAVE IS GOING TO SCHOOL ON MUFTI DAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE SHIT PEOPLE AROUND YOU ARE SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES, ITS LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT, ITS GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET, ITS KNOWING WHAT YOUR "FRIENDS" ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND STILL CALLING THEM YOUR FRIENDS.

BRAVE IS KNOWING THAT TOMORROW ISN'T A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE, ITS ANOTHER DAY OF DODGING RUMORS.

Keep on laughing.

-If you agree with this copy and paste this in your profile. If you don't, then let the world know who you really are.

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-HATE PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFERENT? CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:

It's the same story everyday: A girl in dark colors gets off the worst bus you can imagine, you know, the one with all the dumber-than-dirt country kids who are swearing every five words, listening to a punk rock/gothic rock/heavy metal/or any other dark music. She shuts off the cd player/MP3/iPod and walks into the school. You and your friends are standing inside because you're too wussy to stand outside in LATE MAY in you pretty new Capri pants and new Hollister t-shirt.

You point at her and whisper to your friends about how out-of-touch she is because she's dressed in a baggy hooded sweatshirt and frayed old jeans and she's maintaining a 3.785-4.0 GPA on a 4.0 scale while you're boardline failing. You loudly insult her and talk to her in an obnoxious voice. She just keeps her head down and shuffles right by.

You laugh loudly and say, "How could you have gotten that one wrong? Even a fifth grader knows that!" when she answers a question wrong in class. You and friends push her around in the hallways and trip her in the stairwells. You think she should start drooling over the boys at school and should wear the same clothes you do.

And yet, no matter what you do, she doesn't say anything.

Isn't it hilarious that she can be quiet all week, but still have to put up with more shit than the whore giving out free blowjobs on the bus? ISN'T IT FUNNY that you don't mind fucking a random guy every night, but you go around ripping on her just because she studies in the library every night? Isn't it just bloody fucking hilarious that she needs to sign a pass to the bathroom just to run into an empty classroom to cry at least once a week?

Are you laughing yet?

HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED WHAT HER LIFE IS LIKE?

HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU GO UP TO HER FACE AND TRASH HER GOOD NAME, CALLING HER A 'FREAKY GOTH WANNABE' OR A 'WEEPY-WASHY ATTENTION SEEKER', AND NOT ONCE STOP AT ALL TO CONSIDER WHY YOU NEVER SEE HER PARENTS AROUND, OR WHY SHE ALWAYS WEARS LONG SLEEVES, EVEN IN THE SUMMER?

HOW IN GOD'S GOOD NAME CAN YOU TREAT HER LIKE SHIT JUST BECAUSE SHE THE ONE PERSON YOU CAN NEVER BE: HERSELF UNTO HERSELF?

THERE'S A FINE LINE BETWEEN BEING AN IDIOT AND BEING BRAVE.

BEING BRAVE IS NOT GIVING RANDOM GUYS A BLOWJOB IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. IT IS NOT FUCKING SOME RANDOM GUY ON FRIDAY NIGHT JUST TO SAY YOU FUCKED HIM. BEING BRAVE ISN'T TALKING TO SOME GUY OR DUMPING YOUR CURRENT BOYFRIEND.

BEING BRAVE IS TURNING THE OTHER CHEEK WHEN PEOPLE SLAP YOU. IT'S FORGETTING THE INSULTS AND REMEMBERING THE COMMENTS. TRUE BRAVERY IS GOING TO A SCHOOL WHERE YOU SHOULD FEEL SAFE AND INSTEAD, YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE MARCHING RIGHT INTO HELL. TRUE BRAVERY IS BEING TRUE TO THE ONE PERSON, THE ONLY PERSON, WHO MATTERS: YOU.

KEEP LAUGHING, YOU COCK-SUCKING BITCHES, CAUSE I'M GOING FAR AND YOU'RE HARDLY MOVING.

-Copy this into your profile, and be proud that you're not one of those people

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This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care about it, copy and paste it to your profile.

My name is Sarah,

I am but three.

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see.

I must be stupid,

I must be bad.

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,

I wish I weren't ugly.

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all,

I can't do a wrong,

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long.

When I awake I'm all alone.

The house is dark,

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car!

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls,

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes,

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping,

He shouts ugly words.

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more.

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it,

And I start to bawl.

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream,

But it's now much too late.

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain,

Again and again,

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP

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The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned out and stood up. He then said,

"Listen sir...when I was born, I was black. While I grew up, I was black. When I'm sick, I'm black. When I'm in the sun, I'm black. When I'm cold, I'm black. When I die, I'll be black.

But you, sir, when you were born, you were pink. When you grew up, you were white. When you're sick, you're green. When you're in the sun, you're red. When you're cold, you're blue. When you die, you'll be purple. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat down and the white man walked away...Post this on your profile if you hate racism.

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How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: ‘One. But it takes ten episodes, two level ups, Piccolo and all the human fighters dying and getting revived, and someone getting pecks the size of tires to do it.’ –Uzumaki Harry by: (fanfiction.net)

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Note: The ones in the parentheses are my idea and answers.

Fourty- Six laws of Anime:

Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito

1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity

The normal laws of physics do not apply. (I wonder what happens when I do this? Oops.)

2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation

Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4. (In robotic voice. Activate flight mode.)

3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics

In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way. (Me want big boom.)

4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion

In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity. (Warp speed Scotty.)

5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion

The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science. (The bigger they are, the faster they travel.)

6. Law of Temporal Variability

Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight. (The game's adrenaline ability.)

7. First Law of Temporal Mortality

'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. (So that's why I fail at getting a girlfriend.)

8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality

It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain. (Someone call a neurologist, he isn't dead yet until the next time we fight.)

9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis

Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white). (Is this the 1950's or 60's?)

10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity

Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles. (Woah, I got a big headache! Did a train hit me? Movie: Click.)

11. Law of Inherent Combustability

Everything explodes. Everything.

First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first. (Stares at it while it bulges out. Then runs the other direction. SHE'S GONNA BLOW!)

Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City". (I wonder what happens when I light a candle?)

12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission

Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds. (Cheat activated: god mode.)

13. Law of Energetic Emission

There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability. (Why haven't we fired yet? We need to charge up, sir. On a machine gun?)

14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude

The destructive potential of a weapon is inversely proportional to its size.

First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon. (Someone grab that missile to blow the starship. The WMD? No, the RPG.)

15. Law of Inexhaustability

No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious. (Cheat activated: Unlimited ammo.)

16. Law of Inverse Accuracy

The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss. (Another example: A-team's flying tank.)

First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage. (That worked out on D-Day.)

Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape. (Now I want all the grunts in one line and the elites in another line. That's good...now hold still. Takes out a gatling gun.)

Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers. (You're hurt! At least I look cool holding and covering my wound.)

17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability

Minmei is a bimbo.

18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity

The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure. (An average human faints from losing 2 pints of blood. These guys faint from losing 2 gallons of blood.)

19. Law of Demonic Consistency

Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. (And magic.)

20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability

Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song. (Example: Pokémon: The Rise of Darkrai.)

21. Law of Tactical Unreliability

Tactical geniuses aren't... (able to do anything but watch the real heros do their job and weep on them doing it.)

22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability

People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle. (HOW COULD YOU MISS THAT!? Points at missing arm.)

23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality

Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying. (That's explains school.)

24. Law of Americanthropomorphism

Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.

First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.) (And why original Anime sounds better without American translators in it. Pokémon doesn't apply to this.)

Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors. (Which is why some animes are bad.)

25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality

The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating. (Like their head. Sound it out like a gangster.)

26. Law of Feline Mutation

Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably: a) be female b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation c)and wear as little clothing as possible, if any. (Japan is a little perverted. A little? Okay, a lot!)

27. Law of Conservation of Firepower

Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort. (We only got one shot with the Crucible. Mass Effect.)

28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence

The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity. (It's like riding a bike.)

29. Law of Melee Luminescence

Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil. (Like Lucario?)

30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism

All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason. (Explain Mass Effect.)

31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability

Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation. (How about emotions and multiple personality?)

32. Law of Follicular Permanence

Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons! (They have bed hair, of course it still looks cool!)

33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics

ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic. (There's something you don't see everyday. It goes to high speeds. That's something that happens everyday.)

34. Law of Probable Attire

Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines. --Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene). --Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him. (Example: Bleach the anime.)

First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow. (What about the hot areas?)

Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage. (Which is why the beach scenes are awesome.)

35. Law of Musical Omnipotence

Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before. (Most of their songs lyrics have the instructions.)

36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination

Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. (That explains most fanfics.)

There are five basic positions, which are:

a) The Hero/Leader

b) His girlfriend

c) His Best Friend/Rival

d) A Hulking Brute

e) A Dwarf/Kid

Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:

--Extreme Coolness

--Amazing intelligence

--Incredible Irritation

37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance

All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice. (Even Amy Rose when she got back to their world and had another encounter with Eggman? Oh wait, it happened. Watch the episode of it, real funny on that scene.)

First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas. (Think Misty from Pokémon)

38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission

Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid. (I always did wonder why every single one of the eyes are rather large, including monsters and animals)

39. Law of Inverse Attraction

Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get. (And that's why the bad guys lose.)

First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world... (Bummer.)

40. Law of Nasal Sanguination

When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region. (What if it was the other way around?)

41. Law of Xylolaceration

Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper. (Which is why the hero trains in the woods a lot.)

42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence

Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst. (That explains the parents wanting their kids to do what they couldn't in their young age.)

43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia

There is no Law #43. (Read carefully, it has phobia in it.)

44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation

The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced. (Example: Bleach and Narutro.)

45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis

Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Wonder what they are thinking?)

46. Law of Flimsy Incognition

Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives. (That's not hiding, that's stupidity for the people who doesn't know the character.)

47. Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission

All anime characters seem to have some unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry. (HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT!)

48. Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism

If you get electrocuted or burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later, your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect"). (Ash still doesn't wake up on time.)

First Corollary - When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame, wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s) to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44. (And the dragon shouts works the same way.)

49. Law of Female wrath

If a male character insults a female character, he will get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff Sniff(And that's why you don't cheat.)

50. Law of Artistic Perversion

Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter). Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression. (What happened to my clothes?)

51. Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation

This law is a mixture of Laws 44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys" witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave Phenomenon") (They must be thinking how cool it is or are trying to copy it.)

52. Law of Telepathic Obliviousness

Most of the time, some Anime characters (usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! (Like Celestia who invades other's privacy.)

The reasons for this are:

1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.

2) They just don’t give a damn.

The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:

1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.

53. Law of Chromatic Diversity

Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum. (Think of a poisen mist.)

54. Law of Old Man Comic Relief

Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits. (Another Mass Effect example.)

First Corollary - If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid, etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying pan or something. (PERVERT! SLAP.)

55. Law of the Wise Old Man

Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything. (Which is why I hate them.)

56. Law of Omnipotent Unreliability

Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late. (Example: A button to launch a WMD at any time.)

First Corollary - All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use it against the "Good Guy". (Empty threats.)

Second Corollary - No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military device without one of the following events occurring: (And below list why they lose a lot.)

a) The control device being broken.

b) The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".

c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just "fooled" by the "Good Guy".

d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

57. Law of Minimum Corneal Volume

Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman. (What small eyes you have.)

58. Law of Electrical Charges in Hair

Hair attracts electricity in abundance, resulting in two outcomes:

a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me look. (Example: Dragonball Z)

b) A negative charge will result in the hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look. (This can tell who's the bad guy.)

59. Law of Ammunition Accuracy

When there are multiple types of ammunition available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7 for speaker pods) (Reason: Recoil)

60. Law of Active Female Attraction

In a comedy series, a male character’s attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them. (Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto [OVA] have a seemingly endless supply of willing girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot couldn’t get a date despite [or because of] their constant attempts.) (The trick is to let them come to you.)

61. Law of Sweat Pore Variability

When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11. (Sweatdrop.)

62. The Law of Inverse Training Time

A person who has been training for 3 years is never as good as someone who has been training for one month. (They have to be motivated like...THE END OF THE WORLD.)

63. Law of Needs to Few and Many

The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few... of even the one. (Kill one to save a thousand. Movie: Wanted)

64. Law of Bad Humor

Whenever someone says something that is intended to be funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall. *(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.) (Faceplant or overturn head with sweatdrop)

65. Law of Extreme Anger

Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49) (Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn.)

66. Law of Differentiated Gravitation

First Corollary - If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least 500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping". (Use with the second corollary.)

Second Corollary - The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb. of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a
mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential. (Use this to figure out how fast they are falling.)

67. Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension

In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will *always* be offset by an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient. (Which is why the bad guys get screen time.)

68. Law of Coercive Vehicular Control

No matter how complex or well defined the control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis. (It's in all of us.)

First Corollary - Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and lethality of the maneuver. (Their feet changes the wiring, always.)

Second Corollary - It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension. (Like the good guy trapped and the bad guy tells his plan.)

69. Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension

In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in Ambient Dramatic Tension. (This makes him oblivious to everything.)

70. Law of The Rushing Background Effect

Whenever something dramatic occurs, a survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in slow motion. (You can even hear your own heart beat.)

71. Law of Interdimensional Hammers

Whenever a female character witnesses a male character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and 65) (Another Misty example.)

72. Law of Instant Band-Aids

Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene. (I wonder how Brock gets his band-aids.)

73. Law of Universal Edge Defense

Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime. (It may also be magical.)

74. Law of Intractable Sanity

There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime characters will either:

a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws [e.g., slowdown and exposition]). (From overload of forces.)

b) Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a position to ravish beautiful girls. (It's for the perverts.)

c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling. (That's the cool guy effect.)

75. Law of Celestial Body Control

At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette. (Which is why wolves are cool when howling.)

76. Law of Aura of Forgetfulness

Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise? (Because they were watching the action.)

77. Law of Cool Hair Factor

The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48) (Keeps the mysterious look.)

78. Law of Inverse Coping

Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST capable of dealing with it. (Which is why the black man goes first. No offense.)

79. Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability

The Myth that certain martial arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just doesn’t work in real life... (Super Bummer.)

80. Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics

If a captain of any type of ship is male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole (horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician. (Example: Pirates of the Caribbean)

81. Law of Shades/Coolness Factor

Shades can make you instantly cool, even if you’re normally a klutz. (This is why you see bosses with dark shades.)

82. Law of Hentai Plot

The proper response to any change in the plotline of a Hentai anime is to start having sex. (YAY, LEMON!)

83. Law of Understatement

Anything that is deemed too impossible will become possible. (There are no accidents. Moive: Kung Fu Panda)

First Corollary - Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he is wrong and will invariably be toastied. (I PWND his ass.)

84. Law of Dormant Powers

Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could accomplish... but his old teacher did! (When you are ready. WHEN I DIED!)

85. Law of Style Coefficient

In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see Laws #67, 69, and 84) (Still the adrealine effect.)

86. Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor

Whenever the villain actually succeeds in beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack. Usually this results in:

a) The hero escaping. (These ropes are too...ropes fall off...not tight.)

b) Clean-up for the underlings. (You do that and I'll stay over there. Realxing and sipping a coconut drink with a mini-umbrella.)

c) The villain getting toastied. (How did you escape?!)

87. Law of Tableware Nonexistence

There IS no spoon. (The spoon is a lie.)

88. Law of Goofy Turn-Ons

In Hentai, ordinary, pedestrian objects sometimes have the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water, rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up. (That's messed up.)

89. Law of Penile Variance

All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

90. Law of Hentai Female Characteristics

All Hentai women have the following characteristics:

1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.

2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

91. Law of Vaginal Variance

Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive vagina.

92. Law of Hero Identification

All heroes are introduced by way of appearance while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them introducing themselves. (It's a bird, it's a plane, it's Mirco-Man.)

93. Law of Cute Mascots

Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death! (SO CUTE!)

First Corollary - If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following him around is there because:

1) It’s his girlfriend’s.

2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.

3) Chicks will dig him more.

Second Corollary - If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:

1) It’s her boyfriend’s.

2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.

3) It makes her look cool.

94. Law of The Force

Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks. (How rude.)

95. Law of Naughty Tentacles

All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")

First Corollary - Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is, but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the skin of the tentacle...

Second Corollary - Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).

Third Corollary - Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

96. Law of Cat-Fighting

Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other, sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage begins to occur. (Cat-fight! Cat-fight!)

First Corollary - A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko Thing") (Example: Naruto)

97. Law of Healing

Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".) (I thought I destroyed that arm!)

98. Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics

All ships, either waterborne or spaceborne, have the following crew members: (Describing most fanfics.)

1) The captain

2) His Lieutenant

3) Various female technical staff

4) A hotshot pilot

5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)

6) The Doctor

7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)

Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:

1) Extreme coolness/luck

2) Amazing Intelligence

3) Incredible irritation

4) Extreme cuteness

5) Irresponsible drunkenness

6) Homophobicness

7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

99. Law of Sparklies

Whenever a character of the main character’s interest appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love. No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At least, Marker Apenname seems to think so... (I thought that was the fantasy world for them.)

100. Law of Anime Events

Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen. (Explains the twists and turns.)

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If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, mahalo4ursupport, Uchiha-Aki-chou, MaybelleTheRAWRDragon, Chutneyispower (Damn right!), Dark Flame Pheonix (guilty as charged), XxXSand-Jounin-TemariXxX (What better way to spend your day?), Awaii, Luna2986(Done that 5-10 times XD)Kyoko Izumi, Anthurak The Chaos Lord, Magus Neon (ALL HAIL FANDOM!)[BRONIES RULE!!!, Wolfdragon1 (If you hate reading then why are you here?!)

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If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteres

be in the rghit pclaes. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile.

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Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart

Now you have two choices

1) repost and show you care

2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart (Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

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Y BOIZ SHOULDN'T CHEAT There was once a girl named Ashley who had a boyfriend named Jack.

Jack was the most popular guy in school. The three most popular girls were Courtney, ASHLEY, and Emma. Jack thought of Ashley as OKAY, but he REALLy liked Courtney. Courtney liked jack also. Well of course she did, everyone did!

Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies. Courtney tried to steal Jack away everytime she had a chance to. One day, Courtney asked Jack if he wanted to go to the movies. Ashley heard everything...what movie theatre and what time.

Ashley approached the movies that night and followed Jack and Courtney. Ashley sat right behind them. she watched them get close to each other and kiss...not only kiss, but practically get it on in the theatre. Courtney told jack "Do you want to come to my place and skip this boring movie?" He replied "hell yes."

Ashley had peeked through Courtney's window. Jack and her were

messing around and Ashley watched the whole thing.

The next day at school Ashley wasn't there. For the next few days Ashley wasn't there. A week later her mother found her in her closet dead... she commited suicide because she had loved Jack so much. Next to ashley's dead body was a note.

A note that read: My dearest Jack, I watched you at the movie and at Courtney's house and I will continue to watch you. I never thought you would do something like this to me. I really loved you jack. I died for you just like Jesus died for us.

Always with you, Ashley

Please foward this or Ashley will haunt you and try to kill you because she wants everyone to know about Courtney.

Thank you

For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

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I have discovered the equation to go over the top in everything!

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8118423151811 = 98 percent and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11141523125475 = 96 percent

but A-T-T-I -T-U-D-E

120209202145 = 100 percent

and,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T

2211212198920 = 103 percent

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

1191911919199147 = 118 percent

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while HARD WORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, its really the BULLSHIT and the ASS KISSING that will put you over the top.

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REST IN PIECE TOONAMI.

From beginning to the very end I was there. I will never forget.

Tom and the Absolution 1997-2008

A great Character and a funny host

You will live on forever in this.

If you were there for Toonami from the beginning to end and now wish to honor it post this on your profile. Zaara the black, jmasta32, KentaRaikiri, Magus Neon, Primus1243

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WELCOME BACK TOONAMI!

From the beginning of the first seconds of showing to the end. Maybe because I was late night playing video games, but welcome back.

Start: May 26, 2012

End: ?

It may come sooner so if you want it to stay then donate money to them and post this in your profile. Primus1243

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In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Myer hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping.

(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Chips:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap:

Directions: Use like regular soap.

(And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners:

"Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert(printed on bottom):

"Do not turn upside down".

(Well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

"Product will be hot after heating".

(And you thought??...)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron:

"Do not iron clothes on body."

(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:

"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:

"Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(And I am taking this...because?)

On most brands of Christmas lights:

"For indoor or outdoor use only."

(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:

"Not to be used for the other use".

(damn, but i have a whole stash in my basement that were just right to process)

On packet of Nobbys' Peanuts:

"Warning: contains nuts."

(Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume:

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".

On a Swedish chainsaw:

"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".

(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

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(Made by Abbodon)

Shipping Quiz

1- Simon

2- Latias

3- Bianca

4- Crystal

5- Gemma

6- Pisces

7- Alex

8- Latios

9- Ember

10- Mewtwo

11- Luna

12- Nuri

1. Have you ever read a Six (Pisces)/Eleven (Luna) fic? Do you want to?

No, they’re my own character although it would be a great Lemon

2. Do you think Four (Crystal) is hot? How hot?

Yes very much so, heck she’s my character’s partner

3. What would happen if Twelve (Nuri) got Eight (Latios) Pregnant?

Well since Nuri is a girl and Latios is a boy I would be very surprised.

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine (Ember)?

Yes, Ember is an OC so yes (Wildfire)

5. Would Two (Latias) and Six (Pisces) make a good couple?

Probably not as a couple, the lemons would be awesome though

6. Five (Gemma)/Nine (Ember) or Five (Gemma)/Ten (Mewtwo)?

Five/Nine probably since I can’t see Mewtwo being with Gemma

7. What would happen if Seven (Alex) walked in on Two (Latias) and Twelve (Nuri) having sex?

He’d probably join in knowing him either that or watch and jerk off.

8. Make up a Summary for a Three (Bianca)/Ten (Mewtwo) fic.

Mewtwo, running from team rocket takes refuge in Altomare, where he is sheltered by Bianca.

9. Is there any such thing as One (Simon)/Eight (Latios) fluff?

II hope not, if there is STOP USING MY OC!

10. Suggest a title for a Seven (Alex)/Twelve (Nuri) Hurt/Comfort fic.

Road to acceptance

11. Does anyone on your friends list read Three (Bianca) het?

Probably, although I don’t know how much of it there is out there.

12. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw eleven (Luna)?

Probably not. if so I will repeat GET OFF MY OC’S.

13. Would anyone on your friends list write Two (Latias)/Four (Crystal)/Five (Gemma)?

Nope although, drools at thought of the epic lemon.

14. If you wrote a song fic about Eight (Latios), what song would you choose?

My Spirit Will Go On (Dragonforce) (I got one of my favorite songs from this.)

15. If you wrote a One (Simon)/Six (Pisces)/Twelve (Nuri) fic, what would the warning be?

Warning- This fic will include gratuitous lemons

16. When was the last time you read a fic about Five (Gemma)?

OC so about three minutes ago when I was proof reading a Pack Master chapter

17. One (Simon) and Seven (Alex) are in a happy relationship until Nine (Ember) runs off with Four (Crystal). One (Simon), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven (Luna) and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve (Nuri), then follows the wise advice of Five (Gemma) and finds true love with Three (Bianca).

Simon and Alex(meh I suppose I could be worse) are in a happy relationship until Ember runs off with Crystal (Hot lemon potential there) Simon, heartbroken, has a hot one night stand with Luna (Hell this almost happened in Pack Master) and a brief unhappy affair with Nuri(Another gd lemon potential here), then follows the wise advice of Gemma(Wow.. this bit actually fits the characters.) and finds true love with Bianca (Not complaining about this).

17. What title would you give this fic?

Twists of fate

18-What would you do if Seven (Alex)/Eight (Latios) was canon?

Ummmmm firstly sue for them using an OC then get very interested in the anime.

Shipping by numbers 2

Chose 10 of your OC's. Or ten of your favourite people. (Like friends, family, celebrities. Anyone you think is cool.) But you can't choose yourself.

1- Nuri

2- Latias

3- Bianca

4- Crystal

5- Gemma

6- Pisces

7- Alex

8- Latios

9- Ember

10- Mewtwo

1) 4 (Crystal) invites 3 (Bianca) and 8 (Latios) to dinner at their house. What happens?

Bianca and Latios both turn up but spend the entire night gazing into each others eyes and kissing, completely ignoring Crystal

2) 9 (Latios) tries to get 5 (Gemma) to go to a yoga class. What happens?

After a small argument on the point of it all Gemma would agree to go for the laughs

3) You need to stay at a friend’s house for the night. Do you choose 1 (Nuri) or 6 (Pisces)?

Pisces, definitely on far more ahem friendly terms with her than Nuri

4) 2 (Latias) and 7 (Alex) are making out. 10 (Mewtwo) walks in...What is their reaction?

A bored nod of acknowledgment, possibly a threat to leave if they’re somewhere on his land

5) 3 (Bianca) falls in love with 6 (Pisces). 8 (Latios) is jealous. What happens?

Latios attempts to win Bianca back with a series of increasingly over the top romantic gestures and will almost definitely succeed.

6) 4 (Crystal) jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who comes to your rescue? 10 (Mewtwo), 2(Latias) or 7 (Alex)?

Well since neither Alex or Mewtwo will care, Latias is the winner. Although I question if I’ll want saving from Crystal

7) 1 (Nuri) decides to start a cooking show. 15 minutes later what is happening?

She is trying her hardest to cook but her small size is proving to be an impediment

9) 3 (Bianca) has to marry either 8 (Latios), 4 (Crystal) or 9 (Ember). Who do they chose?

This isn’t even a competition, Latios every time.

10) 7 (Alex) kidnaps 2 (Latias) and demands something from 5 (Gemma) for 2 (Latias’)'s release. What is it?

Hmm probably some form oh ahem adult payment, although since it’s Latias he kidnapped he wouldn’t survive long enough to demand anything before I came a wrought a horrible vengeance.

11) You get to meet either 1 (Nuri) or 6 (Pieces). Who do you chose?

Pisces, see question 3

12) 10 (Mewtwo) challenges 4 (Crystal) to a chariot race. Why?

He took offence at Crystal’s straightforward attitude and there were some convenient chariots nearby.

13) Everyone gangs up on 3 (Bianca). Does 3 (Bianca) have a chance in hell?

Wow that’s such a total massacre… wonder what she did to deserve that.

14) Everyone is invited to 2 (Latias) and 10’s (Mewtwo) wedding except for 8 (Latios). How do they react?

Assuming he’s alive again I’d think he would be rather pissed off considering it was his sister but if he’s still in the soul dew then his response would be a slightly peeved glittering

15) Why is 6 (Pisces) afraid of 7 (Alex)?

She knows he could strike her down in an instant if he wanted

16) 10 (Mewtwo) gathers everyone around to tell them a fairy tale. How does it go?

I hate you all… the end.

17) 1 (Nuri) arrives late for 2 (Latias) and 10 (Mewtwo)'s wedding. What happens? And why are they late?

Hmmm well chances are she was lost or off having fun and just plain forgot about it… she would slip in the back mostly unnoticed although Ember may well give her a quiet greeting.

18) 5 (Gemma) and 9 (Ember) get roaring drunk and end up at your house. What happens?

Hmmm; I have a horrible vision of Gemma running in frantic circles her leaf on fire whilst Ember rolled on the floor watching and laughing.

19) 3 (Bianca), 8 (Latios), 6 (Pisces) and 4 (Crystal) all go to the zoo for 8 (Latios)'s birthday party. How does it go? What presents do they get 8 (Latios)?

The day progress pretty nicely actually and they all have fun at the zoo, Bianca holding most of Latios’ attention. For gifts Pisces gives him a small bracelet, Crystal gives him a pack of condoms as a joke to see everyone’s reaction then a bunch of rare berries as a real gift and Bianca says he’ll get his present later prompting Crystal to beginning guessing increasingly lewd ideas for the ‘gift’.

20) Everyone gets together and starts protesting something outside your house. What are they protesting? What do you do?

They want me to write more often, I respond by dumping a book or two worth of homework on them and yelling “Finish this and I will!”.

21) 9 (Ember) murders 2 (Latias)’s best friend. What does 2 (Latias) do to get back at them?

Nothing, she’s sobbing while I track Ember down a wreak a horrible, horrible vengeance for making Latias sad.

22) 6 (Pisces) and 1 (Nuri) are in mortal danger. Only one of them can survive. Does 6 (Pisces) save themselves or 1 (Nuri)?

Hmm well if one of them is going to escape it will probably be Pisces because Nuri will just panic and freeze up in the face of real danger, that and she’s too young to know any useful moves.

23) Which one of them is most likely to fail at life?

Hmmm good question; I would have to say Mewtwo because he’s going to end up getting himself killed or captured one of these days.

24) 5 (Gemma) is trapped in a cave. 10 (Mewtwo) comes to rescue them. What happens?

Mewtwo isn’t really rescuing her, he teleports in gloats a bit then teleports out laughing, Gemma escapes on her own after a little while.

25) 3 (Bianca) starts a day camp. What happens?

She would be good at it, wow boring answer.

26) 4 (Crystal), 6 (Pisces), and 7(Alex) are doing the Hokey-Pokey. 8 (Latios) walks in. What happens?

Latios raises an eyebrow and backs off slowly muttering under his breath about there being something in the air around here.

27) 1 (Nuri) starts to write a fan-fiction where 9 (Ember) and 10 (Mewtwo) are going out. What is 2 (Latias)'s reaction?

Latias giggles and shakes her head before helping Nuri with her spelling, although the question of how she learnt to type/write is never brought up.

28) 7 (Alex) makes an apple pie. Is it any good?

Doubt it, more than likely he would blow up the kitchen since he’s never even used an over before, or any other utensil or that matter.

29) 8 (Latios) and 3 (Bianca) go camping. For some reason they forget to bring any food. What do they do?

After a little while outside, kissing, they decide to go check into a hotel.

30) While they are camping, they run into The Blair Witch. What do they do?

Latios moves to protect Bianca who is trying to pull him away sobbing “Don’t do it, not again; I can’t loose you” Latios sees sense and teleports them to safety.

31) The quiz is over. What does everyone go do now?

Latios and Bianca are in their hotel room, probably best we don’t disturb them. Next door Crystal and Pisces are with Alex, again we probably shouldn’t go in their for at least a few days. Nuri is led off to bed by Ember and they curl up in a corner and sleep. Gemma decides to head home since it boring being by herself. Mewtwo sighs and teleports away to blissful seclusion.

If you want to bring Abbodon back then repost this to get him to restart the stories he never finished.

Support dead authors by posting their own profile rants.

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