hide bio
Follow . Favorite
Joined 06-15-11, id: 2993432, Profile Updated: 12-20-13

I'm Dewey and I love writing, dogs, Lord of the Rings and funny sayings.

If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.

You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.