iguana-of-eyre
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Joined 06-16-11, id: 2995824, Profile Updated: 04-27-12
Author has written 3 stories for Mythology, Misc. Books, and Clare B. Dunkle.

General Stuff

My Name: I don't have one. I am a disembodied voice...

My Age: Reading this, you can probably tell I'm between the lucky ages of 13 and 666.

What I look like: I would like to be either fabulously, impossibly beautiful (perhaps the lost elf/fairy/angel princess or something) or horribly disfigured in an interesting way by a curse or an injury caused by someone's terrible vendetta against me. I am neither.

Where I live: In your brain. Or in whatever library happens to be convenient. Or in my summer home, which is a palace made of dark chocolate (Seriously dark chocolate. Like 80% cacao. It tastes great, is good for you, and doesn't melt as fast as milk chocolate!)

My profession: By night I hunt vampires and zombies, write The Great American Novel, travel in time machines, consult with sorcerers, attend Hogwarts, break hearts, win great and glorious battles, solve the world's problems, and possess the sweetest voice known to man. By day I'm... me.

Current: I'm working right now on a story based on the Hollow Kingdom series by Clare B. Dunkle, called New World. It will be updated every Monday, possibly more often if I have time.

I think, therefore I am.

Actually, I don't do a whole lot of thinking, which is generally how I end up in trouble, but that's beside the point. I do, in fact, exist. I am not a random voice from the computer. Well, I am a random voice, but I don't come from the computer.

I should get off this train of thought...

Anyway, I'm absolutely insane, sometimes morbid, and am an expert in making strange noises come out of various musical instruments. I like chocolate, music, iguanas, dragons, books, movies, cats, dogs, roller coasters, flying, tea, daydreaming, anthills, Doc Martens, and everything weird. I read. A lot. I have, in fact, perfected the art of walking down a staircase while reading a book and carrying a backpack and an instrument. I worship at the altars of Terry Pratchett, Clive Barker, J.R.R. Tolkein, Freddy Kruger (cuz he'll kill me if I don't), J.K. Rowling and Jane Austen in equal measure. I am one quarter Japanese, one quarter Puerto Rican, and half Scottish. I am also a geek/nerd who rambles on in her profile and should shut up. Now here are some random quotes!

The Aforementioned Random Quotes:

If you're going through hell, keep going.

"All right, punch me in the face." "What?" "Punch me in the face! Didn't you hear me?" "I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking, but it's usually subtext!"

Inconceivable!

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means...

Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist- *is immediately attacked by one*

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!

Noooooooooo!

And you will always remember this as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!

A scratch!

"What makes you think she is a witch?" "She turned me into a newt!" *long pause* "I got better!"

"Stop. What... is your name?"
"It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons."
"What... is your quest?"
"To seek the Holy Grail!"
"What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
"An African or European swallow?"
"I... I don't know that. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
*is thrown off the bridge*
"How do know so much about swallows?"
"Well, you have to know these things when you're a king."

I'm being repressed!!!!

Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

If I'm King, where's my power? Can I form a government? Can I levy a tax, declare a war? No! And yet I am the seat of all authority. Why? Because the nation believes that when I speak, I speak for them. But I can't speak!

Dad almost died of a heart attack in the middle of making Apocalypse Now, the biggest movie of his life. It doesn't make you want to jump into that business.

Remember, remember the fifth of November...

Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask is an idea, Mr. Creedy. And ideas are bulletproof!

I will fight them until hell freezes over and then I will fight them on the ice!

We've got a witch, may we burn her?

Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.

Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill everyone, and you are a god.

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately kills all its pupils.

It is not what they think of me that matters, but what I think of them.

May God have mercy on them- for I will have none.

No more tears now; I will think upon revenge.

Order without liberty and liberty without order are equally destructive.

Genius always finds itself a century too early.

They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.

The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty. Plainly, the sheep and the wolf are not agreed upon a definition of liberty.

The ultimate end of all revolutionary social change is to establish the sanctity of human life, the dignity of man, the right of every human being to liberty and well-being.

What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?

I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than those attending too small a degree of it.

Any excuse will serve a tyrant.

Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

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Lex Luthor Triumphant by GuapoMendez reviews
Ch. 1: It's been 8 months since Superman disappeared. Ch. 2: What really happened that day when LexCorp Tower trembled? Ch. 3: Is it really Solitude when he's not alone? Ch. 4: Is his heart colder than the Antarctic? Ch. 5: It was a Dark Knight 6. Meanwhile... 7.- Making progress 8.- Truth is what I make of it. 9. Fiat justitia ruat caelum 10. A day in court. 11. Endgame. 12. Ω
Superman - Rated: T - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 44,776 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 11/24/2014 - Published: 11/13/2012 - General Zod/Dru-Zod, L. Luthor, Lois L. - Complete
OneShots by AiramS reviews
A collection of Oneshots from the life of a goblin king and his bride from this world - not that he knows that : Give it a try, it's cute and not too long
Clare B. Dunkle - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 26,162 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/24/2012 - Published: 4/5/2012
The Goblin and the Maiden by speederina reviews
Dragons aren't the only ones who like maidens. But goblins don't want to eat them... What if Alys had braved the wolves and gotten caught by something else entirely?
Crossover - Clare B. Dunkle & Dragon's Bait - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,540 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/13/2011 - Published: 9/29/2011
After by ShearViscosity reviews
Sequel to Ever. It's been four months since Alex's sister Alice, went missing without a trace. Determined to find answers, Alex decides to return to Hallow Hill. Once there, she gets more than she ever bargained for. Complete.
Clare B. Dunkle - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 20 - Words: 50,513 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 9/23/2011 - Published: 7/18/2011 - Complete
When She Called by ShiningxXxShadowxXxThief reviews
After being blamed for Karen's "tough" life, and being abused, Sarah breaks down and finally calls someone. Someone who was always waiting... Rated T for some violence and glittery tight pants! Please Review!
Labyrinth - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 721 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 13 - Published: 3/26/2011 - Jareth, Sarah - Complete
The Man With No Name by Frostfyre7 reviews
He hadn't really counted on getting into a pub brawl over the color of his coat on some speck of a planet, or signing up with a crew of petty criminals. Still, he'd always wondered what really happened to those Lost Colonists from Earth...
Crossover - Doctor Who & Firefly - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 105,986 - Reviews: 1044 - Favs: 2,231 - Follows: 437 - Updated: 1/15/2008 - Published: 4/9/2007 - 10th Doctor - Complete
The Symbol is the Thing by Laryna6 reviews
Xanatos acquires the Grimorum Arcanorum: Owen delivers it: Demona wants it. A version of their first meeting, not AU of the series but AU of revealed background information.
Gargoyles - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,058 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 3/9/2006 - David X., Owen B. - Complete
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New World reviews
Updating/editing again, just for fun, in case anyone cares... Anyway, goblins, due to humans moving dangerously close to their territory, were in dire straits. Instead of risking discovery, they moved into a parallel world, one with few humans, but a rather nasty addition in their place.
Clare B. Dunkle - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 25,651 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/13/2012 - Published: 11/1/2011
The House
A little oneshot prompt from creative writing class. Based on a letter game between me and my friend, a letter game inspired by Sorcery and Cecilia by Patricia C.Wrede and Caroline Stevermer. Please read and review!
Misc. Books - Rated: K - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 689 - Published: 6/20/2011 - Complete
This is how the story goes
Yay! My first story! Basically an attempt to write something kind of based on the Hades/Persephone myth, with a touch of Adam and Eve, and a damsel not in distress. And did I mention the dragon? Yeah. There's a dragon. Please read and review!
Mythology - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,322 - Published: 6/19/2011 - Complete