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Joined 06-17-11, id: 2996876, Profile Updated: 04-13-14
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

"INVITATION

by Shel Silverstein

If you are a dreamer, come in.
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar,
A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer . . .
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire,
For we have some flax golden tales to spin.
Come in!
Come in!"

"The sonnets to Orpheus

by Rainer Maria Rilke

Sing, my heart, of unknown gardens poured in glass,
transparent and unattainable.
Fountains and roses of Ispahan or of Shiraz,
Praise and joyfully sing of them, incomparable.

Show, my heart, that you could never truly miss them, since
it is you, alone, for whom their figs have ripened.
That in your revery, envisioning powers heightened,
you are kin to each flowering branch the sweet breezes evince.

Avoid the error of thinking something dear was shed
in the transaction of your grave decision to be!
You are part of the very weave, o silken thread.

Whatever the motif constricting you internally
(if only for a moment in the painful life you lead)
intuit the full meaning of the glowing tapestry."

"How Many, How Much
by Shel Silverstein

How many slams in an old screen door?
Depends how loud you shut it.
How many slices in a bread?
Depends how thin you cut it.
How much good inside a day?
Depends how good you live 'em.
How much love inside a friend?
Depends how much you give 'em."

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The Handbook of Elf Psychology by evansentranced reviews
Sequel to Fantastic Elves and Where to Find Them! Harry is captured by wizards and brought to a castle. The wizards are obnoxious, but there's a lovely wood nearby which is quaintly named the "Forbidden" Forest. Harry thinks that's adorable.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 86,049 - Reviews: 1750 - Favs: 3,129 - Follows: 3,881 - Updated: 3/30 - Published: 9/8/2012 - Harry P.
The Never-ending Road by laventadorn reviews
AU. When Lily died, Snape removed his heart and replaced it with a steel trap. But rescuing her daughter from the Dursleys in the summer of '92 is the first step on a long road to discovering this is less true than he'd thought. A girl!Harry story, starting in Chamber of Secrets and continuing through Deathly Hallows. Future Snape/Harriet.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 73 - Words: 458,203 - Reviews: 1570 - Favs: 693 - Follows: 824 - Updated: 3/27 - Published: 10/16/2012 - Harry P., Severus S.
Magical Relations by evansentranced reviews
AU First Year onward: Harry's relatives were shocked when the Hogwarts letters came. Not because Harry got into Hogwarts. They had expected that. But Dudley, on the other hand...That had been a surprise. Currently in 5th year.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 65 - Words: 242,366 - Reviews: 4307 - Favs: 4,268 - Follows: 5,416 - Updated: 3/22 - Published: 3/18/2007 - Harry P., Dudley D.
Strangers at Drakeshaugh by Northumbrian reviews
The locals in a sleepy corner of the Cheviot Hills are surprised to discover that they have new neighbours. Who are the strangers at Drakeshaugh?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Family - Chapters: 21 - Words: 89,525 - Reviews: 919 - Favs: 857 - Follows: 1,096 - Updated: 3/21 - Published: 9/17/2010 - [Ginny W., Harry P.] [Ron W., Hermione G.]
Applied Cultural Anthropology, or by jacobk reviews
... How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Cruciatus. Albus Dumbledore always worried about the parallels between Harry Potter and Tom Riddle. But let's be honest, Harry never really had the drive to be the next dark lord. Of course, things may have turned out quite differently if one of the other muggle-raised Gryffindors wound up in Slytherin instead.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 83,359 - Reviews: 530 - Favs: 871 - Follows: 1,185 - Updated: 2/14 - Published: 4/26/2013 - Hermione G., Severus S.
Minerva's First Owl by Swallow B reviews
Minerva McGonagall has just received her Hogwarts letter. Her father teaches her and her brothers his views about God and magic.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,648 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/1/2013 - Complete
Prae Gnasci by Tzadikim reviews
"Almost makes you wish Snape was still around to see this." It makes sense that the firstborn of a Potter and Weasley could wreck havoc even from inside the womb. Sequel to Warmth of the Sun. Gender-Bended
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 20,848 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 7/9/2013 - Published: 1/15/2013 - [Ginny W., Harry P.] - Complete
Disturbing Circles by Tzadikim reviews
At the age of twelve, Archimedes Chase had an archenemy, a crush, soon a quest, and an insufferable daughter of Poseidon making waves in his life. Fem!Percy/Male!Annabeth
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,079 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 34 - Published: 4/18/2013 - Percy J., Annabeth C. - Complete
Mistletoe and Plenty of Wine by Mission to Marzipan reviews
A Rachel/Nico oneshot set on Christmas Eve in which Rachel goes a little overboard in decking the halls, wine is consumed by the barrel, and Rachel and Nico's eyes are opened to what could be for the very first time. It's not the Christmas Eve either of them were expecting, but it all worked out in the end.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,996 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/27/2012 - Nico A., Rachel D., Percy J., Annabeth C. - Complete
When In Doubt, Obliviate by Sarah1281 reviews
When a chance meeting reveals Harry's planned fate to Lockhart, he knows what he has to do: rescue him and raise him as his own to properly manage his celebrity status. Harry gets a magical upbringing, Lockhart gets the Boy-Who-Lived...everybody wins!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 38 - Words: 114,644 - Reviews: 2229 - Favs: 1,893 - Follows: 1,529 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 1/8/2011 - Harry P., Gilderoy L. - Complete
Welcome to Hogwarts 1949 by Ohyeah100 reviews
Harry is accidently transported fifty years back in time through a fluke with the mauraders map. Here he runs into and befriends Tom Riddle, hoping to find his only weakness. No Slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 124,422 - Reviews: 1200 - Favs: 1,055 - Follows: 1,056 - Updated: 4/23/2012 - Published: 8/24/2005 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr.
Dark Angelo by Mai Ascot reviews
Hades had the brilliant idea to send Nico on a Guardian Angel Mission to someone who cannot be saved, and doesn't want to be. When Tom Riddle is eleven years old, he gets two visitors in one day. And one just keeps on visiting. Time skips, Oneshot.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,536 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 14 - Published: 2/14/2012 - Voldemort, Nico A. - Complete
One Small Question by Merina 2 reviews
Jane has a question for her Master – something not one of the guard will explain to her. This time, she wants an answer. Pre-Twilight, lots of Jane and Aro, MarcusxDidyme, mild CaiusxAthenodora, mild AroxSulpicia.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,869 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/31/2012 - Aro, Jane - Complete
Come Once Again and Love Me by laventadorn reviews
Severus wakes up in the afterlife expecting something rather different than being almost-seventeen again. Seriously, what kind of game is this? But wait - Lily's come back, too - from 1981? Perhaps it's a second chance... but to do what? SS/LE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 25 - Words: 188,760 - Reviews: 470 - Favs: 478 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 1/26/2012 - Published: 12/24/2011 - Severus S., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Harry the Hufflepuff 2 by BajaB reviews
Lazy!Harry is back, and not doing very much at all...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 23,642 - Reviews: 672 - Favs: 1,909 - Follows: 884 - Updated: 10/5/2011 - Published: 8/28/2011 - Complete
Penultimate Acts by Pasi reviews
Severus Snape, from nearly the end of Dumbledore's life to nearly the end of his own.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,229 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/22/2011 - Severus S. - Complete
Is Draco Malfoy a Git? by Northumbrian reviews
The question is a simple one, but what conclusion will the finest legal experts of the wizarding world reach. More importantly, what will the jury decide?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,577 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/22/2011 - [Hermione G., Ron W.] Draco M., Ginny W. - Complete
Who’s Afraid of the Dentists’ Daughter? by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel reviews
Muggleborn Hermione Granger is sorted into Slytherin, but after a nasty prank goes wrong and gives her red eyes, her classmates become convinced that she’s the Dark Lord’s heir.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,620 - Reviews: 499 - Favs: 1,297 - Follows: 1,565 - Updated: 2/15/2011 - Published: 2/22/2010 - Hermione G.
Harry the Hufflepuff by BajaB reviews
Luckily, lazy came up in Petunia's tirades slightly more often than freak, otherwise, this could have been a very different story. AU. Not your usual Hufflepuff!Harry story.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 29,145 - Reviews: 1089 - Favs: 4,007 - Follows: 1,376 - Updated: 12/4/2010 - Published: 11/10/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
One out of nine by silverbirch reviews
Everyone knows how Voldemort was defeated - or thinks they do. Let Crookshanks tell you the real story of how he overcame a dark wizard, with a little help from some humans, and still had time for romance. JK Rowling obviously owns it.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 37,746 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 11/26/2010 - Published: 4/26/2010 - Crookshanks, Mrs. Norris - Complete
Nico di Angelo: Boy, Uninterrupted by Mission to Marzipan reviews
Nico-centric during TLO with four chapters featuring four scenes/events that we only ever saw from Percy's point of view. Nico as he struggles with his father, the loss of his mother, and basically being twelve. Fuller summary within. M for language.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 24,256 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 8/31/2010 - Published: 7/29/2010 - Nico A. - Complete
In the Shadows by Musafreen reviews
They say that right before you die, your life flashes in front of your eyes. Bianca Di Angelo. Week Eight, Oneshot challenge.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,946 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/10/2010 - Bianca A. - Complete
The Fine Art of Poisoning by Silver Sailor Ganymede reviews
Blaise Zabini is eight years old when he witnesses his first murder.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,822 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 15 - Published: 6/2/2010 - Blaise Z., Mrs. Zabini - Complete
The Wise Man and the Fool by DasMervin reviews
“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” Aro heeded Napoleon’s words as the Cullens made their own fatal mistake—and intended to correct his own.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,681 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 24 - Published: 3/23/2010 - Aro, Caius - Complete
Ad Initium by greenconverses reviews
Snapshots of a life as Annabeth Chase grows up in a world where Thalia never turns into a tree, Luke's destiny is something else entirely, and a certain son of Poseidon never makes it to Camp Half-Blood. Alternate universe.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,204 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 343 - Follows: 40 - Published: 2/14/2010 - Annabeth C., Thalia G. - Complete
Run that by me again? by Sarah1281 reviews
Ever wonder 'Why don't they just do that' "A lot of the greatest wizards haven't got an ounce of logic." Harry and Hermione, however, were raised in the muggle world and are therefore fully capable of thinking things through...A collection of of one-shots
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 21 - Words: 53,842 - Reviews: 1647 - Favs: 2,613 - Follows: 1,822 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Dirge by Expecting Rain reviews
A collection of oneshots about the aftermath of the Battle of Hogwarts, focusing on characters who are mourning people they really shouldn’t be mourning – or at least that’s what they tell themselves. Chapter One: Ginny grieves for Tom Riddle.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9,640 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 12/1/2009 - Published: 7/22/2009 - Ginny W., Hermione G.
Scorpius Malfoy and the Improbable Plot by opalish reviews
Scorpius really should have listened to his father's numerous and dire warnings about the Potter clan. Harry feels his pain. Gen crackfic WIP, yo. Seriously, so cracky.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 47,805 - Reviews: 1241 - Favs: 1,318 - Follows: 1,073 - Updated: 10/31/2009 - Published: 6/29/2008 - Scorpius M., Harry P.
The Desk by opalish reviews
Crack oneshot. Malcolm Baddock fails at office warfare, and Harry teaches his desk to speak.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,468 - Reviews: 204 - Favs: 829 - Follows: 84 - Published: 9/23/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
All The Dementors of Azkaban by LifeWriter reviews
AU PoA: When Luna Lovegood is condemned to Azkaban prison for her part in opening the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter is the first to protest. Minister Fudge is reluctant to comply, but then again he never really had a choice in the first place. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,603 - Reviews: 860 - Favs: 4,129 - Follows: 687 - Published: 9/12/2009 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Never Entirely Free by kilara25 reviews
Every relationship in Rose's life is more complicated than it ought to be. Sirius and girl!Harry, warning for non-explicit dubcon and inappropriate liberties with a minor. Prequel to Girl in the War and Twelve Hundred Hours.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,117 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 18 - Published: 8/20/2009 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Harry Potter, Transdimensional Guidance Counselor by opalish reviews
Part of being Head Auror is tracking down potential future heroes and villains and giving them a good talking-to. Harry really wishes he'd known this ahead of time. Multi-crossover crackfic WIP.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,071 - Reviews: 375 - Favs: 437 - Follows: 558 - Updated: 8/7/2009 - Published: 1/8/2009 - Harry P.
The Road Less Traveled by Youko-Kokuryuuha reviews
He was supposed to be the hero. Luke, and how far from the path he strayed.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,872 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 210 - Follows: 13 - Published: 7/21/2009 - Luke C., Thalia G. - Complete
nevers and maybes by dress without sleeves reviews
Seven years of almosts for Snape and Hermione. Sort of SS/HG, but also mostly not. // For one, horrifying week the year she was thirteen, Hermione fancied herself in love with Professor Snape. For ConstantComment! ILUHYOU.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,145 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/16/2009 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
The Plutonian Shore by Youko-Kokuryuuha reviews
And so he sat there, on the plutonian shore, turning the piteous screams of the dead over and over again in his head. The downfall of a king was never graceful. One-shot.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,887 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/24/2009 - Nico A. - Complete
Finitum by Kyilliki reviews
The Volturi come to the Olympic Peninsula one final time. certainly AU, dark-fic
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 857 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/16/2009 - Aro - Complete
And All Through The House by dress without sleeves reviews
It was the night before Christmas, and none of the Black children were in their beds. Set immediately after "Uncle Alphard's Guide to Child Rearing". Gen.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,474 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/23/2008 - Complete
Uncle Alphard's Guide to Child Rearing by dress without sleeves reviews
To be fair to Uncle Alphard, there were very few people that could control all five Black heirs at once, since they seemed to instinctively know how to combine their individual strengths when "negotiating". Gen. Merry Christmas!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,040 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 13 - Published: 12/22/2008 - Alphard B. - Complete
The WorldSaving Properties of Hot Threesome Sex by opalish reviews
Harry's straight, he really is. Unfortunately, no one believes it but him. HarryLunaBlaise crackfic AHOY.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,716 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 621 - Follows: 66 - Published: 8/26/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter and Curse Of The Ever Changing Plots by dress without sleeves reviews
This is me. Making fun of you. All of you. And your fics. And possibly some of my fics. No one gets off. HarryGinny is slaughtered, HarryHermione is ridiculed, RonHermione is destroyed. YodaDobby, however, is condoned.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 9,963 - Reviews: 506 - Favs: 260 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 8/5/2008 - Published: 1/31/2005
The Wendell That Wasn't by opalish reviews
The true story of how Harry and Ginny's kids got their names. Really, it's all Snape's fault. Crackfic oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,814 - Reviews: 384 - Favs: 1,788 - Follows: 154 - Published: 7/15/2008 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
Just After Midnight by margotllama reviews
AU. Just after midnight, in a hut on a rock in the sea, Harry Potter celebrated his eleventh birthday and, instead of Hagrid, was collected by Severus Snape to be brought into the world of magic. Mild abuse, neglect.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 33,612 - Reviews: 866 - Favs: 710 - Follows: 1,262 - Updated: 6/19/2008 - Published: 11/28/2006 - Harry P., Severus S.
Twelve Hundred Hours by kilara25 reviews
Prequel to Girl In the War. Rose Potter stays the summer at Grimmauld Place, and Snape comes to visit her.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,645 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 189 - Follows: 38 - Published: 5/18/2008 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Debt by Calistabelle reviews
When she asked the sorting hat to put her in Slytherin it had been a joke. It soon became a whole lot more than that. Lily/Scorpius Rated T for language and suggested violence and death.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,607 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/2/2008 - Lily Evans P., Scorpius M. - Complete
A Very Young Girl's Record of Her Own Impressions by Eggo Waffles reviews
Ariana Dumbledore shares her thoughts on Oscar Wilde, Nietzsche, and Gellert Grindelwald's bum. AberforthGoat, AlbusGellert, onesided ElphiasAlbus.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,632 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/16/2007 - Albus D. - Complete
War Dead by Pasi reviews
Things didn't turn out quite the way Severus had planned.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,214 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/25/2007 - Severus S., Voldemort - Complete
Girl in the War by kilara25 reviews
Snape's life would have been so much easier if Rose Potter had been born a boy.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,722 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 503 - Follows: 94 - Published: 8/9/2007 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Lamentations of a Starry Eyed Twit by She's a Star reviews
Auriga Sinistra's not so eventful diary filled with sarcasm, self pity, and assorted proclamations of loathing for a certain Potions professor . . .
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 106,501 - Reviews: 2292 - Favs: 1,328 - Follows: 609 - Updated: 8/4/2007 - Published: 2/2/2003 - A. Sinistra, Severus S.
Six Foot Of Ginger Idiot by Pinky Brown reviews
Or, Ron Weasley's Year Six Diary: the whole of Half-Blood Prince from Ron's point of view. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll want to shake him. Winner of "Best Humour Fic" at the 2008 Reviewer's Choice Awards on FFnet.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 126,584 - Reviews: 783 - Favs: 745 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 7/6/2007 - Published: 7/5/2007 - Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
The Lack of Sleep by youcantseeus reviews
Insomnia can lead to some deep conversations. Edmund and Eustace discuss good, evil, guilt, human motivation, God, religion, nature, science and much more. Set a little after The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Oneshot.
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,264 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/9/2007 - Eustace Scrubb, Edmund Pevensie - Complete
Tabby Cat by Pasi reviews
Cats have their territories. Privet Drive, in Little Whinging, Surrey, is claimed by a stray tabby cat with spectacle markings around her eyes.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,698 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 14 - Published: 1/9/2007 - Minerva M., Harry P. - Complete
Impractical Heroics by opalish reviews
PostHBP, Harry has a plan. He also has a concussion and a close encounter of the Slytherin kind. This will not end well.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,251 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 223 - Follows: 230 - Updated: 4/10/2006 - Published: 4/4/2006 - Harry P.
The Chamber Strike by evansentranced reviews
Harry is sick of Umbridge and everyone pushing him around. Halfway through fifth year, he decides to Do Something about it. Warning: Contains nuts. And cults, falling sugar bowls, terrible handwriting, and beleaguered caretakers. Crack!fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,110 - Reviews: 227 - Favs: 749 - Follows: 117 - Published: 3/5/2006 - Harry P., Argus F. - Complete
Harry Potter's Guide to the Dark Arts by opalish reviews
Harry Potter has once again showcased his pathological need for attention by writing and publishing a completely uninformative pamphlet on the Dark Arts. Utterly useless rubbish. – The Daily Prophet
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,655 - Reviews: 380 - Favs: 1,207 - Follows: 140 - Published: 11/30/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
Beyond the Veil by Eggo Waffles reviews
Between learning that the Afterlife is really just a field filled with ping pong tables and that his death was the product of an error in a computerized recordkeeping system, Sirius is seriously fed up. Thank God for chocolate and second chances.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,127 - Reviews: 197 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 1/24/2005 - Published: 9/1/2004 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
When Fanfic Characters Attack by citygirl1116 reviews
They're OOC! They're badly written! They're having lots of sex! A baffled Harry Potter encounters a terrifying evil...the fanfic versions of his friends.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,543 - Reviews: 504 - Favs: 527 - Follows: 69 - Published: 7/8/2004 - Harry P.
Knock Knock by michelle-31a reviews
Harry tries to tell a 'knock-knock' joke to Luna - 'try' being the operative word
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,024 - Reviews: 276 - Favs: 636 - Follows: 48 - Published: 6/15/2004 - Harry P., Luna L.
Do These Memory Charms Ever Cause Brain Damage? by Backroads reviews
Percy is going to work undercover for the Order. Now all he and Arthur have to do is stage a fight for the rest of the family. How hard can it be?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,636 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 12 - Published: 6/6/2004 - Percy W., Arthur W. - Complete
Reactions by arcessita reviews
Severus Snape's first day as a professor. A meditation on the seductiveness of control and the development of a mask. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,884 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/26/2004 - Severus S. - Complete
Intelligent Conversations by Backroads reviews
What Crabbe and Goyle talk about when no one is around.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 401 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 192 - Follows: 15 - Published: 12/28/2003 - Gregory G., Vincent C. - Complete
A Flying Commentary by MamaLaz reviews
Draco Malfoy, having lost his position as seeker, is now Quidditch Commentator. And an extremely bitter Slytherin is not the best person to commentate on a game where his former side go against Gryffindor. All-Dialogue fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,451 - Reviews: 296 - Favs: 893 - Follows: 93 - Published: 11/24/2003 - Draco M., Ron W.
Lucifer in Starlight reviews
A birthday gift for my dear "Petals Open to the Moon"
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 905 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/20/2013 - Aro - Complete