Poll: Who should marry Harry Potter? Vote Now!
Changed my ID to "Daphne Undomiel" 25/02/2013
I love to read Harry Potter Fanfics.
I have changed my community name please feel free to take a look:..
Saw this and it made me laugh:
The Stupidest Things On Products
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Wow. That's really helpful)
On a child's superman costume:"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Aw, that's the whole purpose of buying the costume!)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat."(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food!?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion).
On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos!: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (the shoplifter special?)
On a Korean knife: “Keep out of children” (I should bloody well hope so!)
Boeing 757-"Fragile. Do not drop"(That means you, Hulk! Put that bloody airplane down, you might drop it!)
Scoopable cat litter-"safe to use around pets" (Again, I should bloody well hope so!)
Baby oil-"Keep out reach of children." (Good thing babies aren't children, isn't it!)
Hair coloring-"Do not use as an ice cream topping." (Yeah. My grandmother died because she thought my hair dye was ice-cream topping and put it in a sundae)
Komatsu Floodlight-"This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark" (OMG!! That's as amazing as a newsreader reading the news!)
Earplugs-"These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." (Are you sure? Lets experiment.)
RCA television remote control-"Not dishwasher safe." (Did someone do this once...?)
Road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain." (No. Duh. Sherlock)
NB. Any Harry/Ginny stories are here not because I like the pairing but because they are well written and/or have a good plotline.
Has anyone read 'Gabriel'? If someone has would they please PM me if they have also read a story like it, I can't seem to find one myself!!
Granny Minnie 23-09-2012
If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
Granny Minnie 05-12-2012
'James stretched as he left the shower, turning in a circle beneath the lion statue that breathed warm air on him. He always loathed the necessity of towels at Hogwarts. Being dried off by family magic always felt so comforting, as if nothing could touch him. Chancing Chaos Chapter 2
'Once she finished bathing, Haesel rose from the bathwater and stood beneath the statue of the tree that was her namesake. Leaves fluttered down and spun around her like a miniature tornado, drying her with the family magic. This one thing, at least, was as comforting as always.' Chancing Chaos Chapter 3
'A girl, about 16, was sitting with in Slytherin colors: a green and black summer robe embroidered with tiny sliver snakes.' Causality Chain Chapter 1
'...although not obvious to the rest of the school, the Potter–Malfoy feud was legendary in the Slytherin House.' On The Way To Greatness Chapter 8
'"Delighted, are you?" Montague asked under his breath when they were a safe distance away.
"Hermione whirled round to face Ron and in a quiet tone that most of Hogwarts including Slytherin had learn't was when you ducked and ran for cover." Cats' Harmony Chapter 5
"She ate daintily, feasting on a tradition French breakfast of bread with jam, and a bowl of coffee. (On Fleur) The Misplaced Potter 2 Chapter 8
"Bellatrix, her dark curls swinging, lips blood red, glanced about her disdainfully over the soft, ebony fur she clasped close and high about her ivory neck. Her husband's arm slid around her small, belted in waist, and her lips parted in mock-astonishment as she turned in his arms. After a disdainful look, she swung around, grasping his arm as she did so, and sashayed up the wide, sprawling stairs to the entrance. Rodolphus swaggered in her wake, winking at the askance look Lucius threw him as he coolly offered Narcissa a hand." Malignant Objects Chapter 1
"Replace Ron the irascible with Neville the good-hearted, add a pinch of Daphne the caring, let the mix simmer and wait a few months … et voila: A new Harry." Second Chances Chapter 25
"Hyacinth took one step forward and peered into its reflective, intelligent eyes. "Do you think I'm joking?" She laughed into its face. "You wouldn't be the first intelligent being a Potter killed." The clearing was eerily silent, but she didn't care if she frightened the students by word or deed." Courting Chaos Chapter 5
"Her gasp as his magic enfolded her calmed the raging beast that had been snarling in his chest the last two days. Her gray eyes widened when she understood the fullness of his magic. He chuckled at her look and tucked her closer against him. Harry rested his chin upon her hair and inhaled her sweet scent. In a few short weeks, he would unwind the curls and thread his fingers through her hair. In a few years, she would bear him children. And in less than a decade, he would kill Lord Voldemort and appoint Delphinia Potter as his Dark Lady." Pureblood Roulette Chapter 1
"It was in that position with those thoughts that he was found later that day, by a woman clad in an elegant, but simple black dress. Her hair was curly, and slightly askew, but beautifully brushed and arranged in a casual, but slightly dark manner, as it fell in ringlets around her face." Silver, Grey and Black Chapter 1
"Tabbris pet his hair with a gloved hand. He had an insane urge to purr." Very Bad Boys Chapter 6
“Dude,” Clint interrupted, “that argument is going to get you nowhere. You are talking to a woman who refers to assassination as 'augmented yoga.'” In From The Cold Chapter 42 (AO3)
"The words died in his throat as Romanoff also got to her feet. She eyed him darkly, and something cold crawled down his spine - this wasn't Natasha, or even Agent Romanoff. This was the killer named Black Widow considering potential prey. Absolute silence reigned as everyone froze." Salt Chapter 1
No." She smiles back, for a moment so proud of possessing a persona so intimidating that acquiring fresh pancakes a full five hours after the cafeteria closed didn't even require a verbal threat." Five Times Natasha Throws Up On One Of Her Teammates Chapter 2(AO3)
"She, Natasha Romanoff, happened to men for a living." American Cultural Parameters Chapter 1
"Look, Steve,this is just something you accept as a man. You don't question it, you just do as she tells you. Trust me on this, I've been her partner for a decade, and every time I didn't listen, it didn't end well. For me. Just. Don't argue," Clint said." (On Natasha Romanoff) From The Other Side
Tony snapped back to Natasha, looking only at her face. She had blood on her face. But she sounded so calm, like they were having tea and she was talking about cookies." Vengeance Chapter 2 (AO3)
Wrangling money out of SHEILD for six-star hotel rooms is nearly impossible, though Natasha might not know this, because Robertson in Accounts is probably still sporting his terrified boner from that one time she stalked through the financial offices in a black evening gown and threatened him with evisceration in a bored whip-tight voice, having mistaken him for the other Robertson, the one in charge of munitions requisition. As a result, Natasha's undercover missions tend to have large budgets." Today Begins And It's All That We Have (AO3)
"It'd be hard to believe that he missed that, when an hour ago she had him shoved up against an airport door, except for the fact that he's seen her waltz smiling across a ballroom with a lung full of blood and an ankle broken in two places. When it comes to damage, Natasha keep the whole world on a need-to-know basis."Today Begins And It's All That We Have (AO3)
"Yeah, a person would, Barton. But you're not a person. Socially, you're omewhere between a bobcatand a badly programmed robot." (Maria Hill to Clint Barton) An Idiot's Guide to Dating Russian Assassins (AO3)
"Yeah, right, Maria thought. Eighteen months of missions had taught her a lot, but most importantly, it had hammered on thing home loud and clear: Natasha Romanoff could drink them all under the table, through the floor, and possibly into a few sub-basements." Counterfeit and Counterpart (AO3)
Echoing every other man who had encountered the Black Widow and was currently still breathing, Coulson muttered, "She's going to be the death of me." Episode 2.7: Spidah-Man! (AO3)