Author has written 3 stories for Dragon Age.
Domestic engineer and mother to two sweet little monsters. I am a avid reader and gamer. I'm currently obsessed with all things Dragon Age! I have started my very first fan fic, Fallen and hope to update at least once a week. So exciting!!!
Rant moved here so as not to violate the forum rules! Sorry about that! I"m afraid that in my haste to get this off my chest I failed to read the section of the rules where this is prohibited. Again I apologize. 8/10/2012
Let me start by introducing myself. My name is Melissa. I’m a 29 year old house wife, happily married and the mother of two amazing kids. I’m a fairly quite person. Never been too outgoing. I’m not very articulate or the most educated woman in America. I’m over weight, on the plump side if you will... I like action movies and video games. I enjoy dry or sarcastic humor and I adore romance novels of all kinds, fan fiction included here.
Tonight I was excited to see one such an update. It was on a story I had been following for quite some time. Stay with me here cause I know I’m rambling but I feel like this is important. The author had deleted all her work… I want to quote what was written here. I won’t post her name because I’m not sure that she would want me to but I feel that her statement is relevant and helps me to better express my outrage and the why of it.
“I am sad at deleting this story. I was really enjoying writing it and everyone's reviews. If you're wondering why it's gone, you can thank my husband for that.
You can thank him for telling his friends that I write "trashy skyrim girl smut" that is "shit only horny girls would read" and then giving them my username and showing them where to find it. Maybe they'll lose interest and go away . . .”
Okay, so here we are. The “meat” of my little rant. This woman (and I don’t know her personally, not claiming to) has been shamed by someone who should be supporting and encouraging her. And for what? For indulging in a hobby that thousands if not millions share? This… is true but still not the point. No. The bigger issue here transcends the supposed “dorkyness” of fan fiction. The true outrage here is that hateful terminology that was used to shame this poor lady into feeling like she had to hide her efforts, her story, “shit only horny girls would read”.
Words like whore and slut come to mind. Words used to remind us and other who may be watching of our place. They shame us and cut us down to size. What they really say to me is: How dare you have any kind of sexuality. How dare you express any kind of confidence or explore said sexuality. Your worthless, cheep and above all replaceable if you step out of line.
I know this is not a mild form of bulling. No one has been physically hurt here that we can see. Fanfiction isn’t a mainstream form of entertainment. Some may never have even heard of it before. But I’m guessing that this did not seem like a mild or unimportant occurrence to our mystery author. Imagine if you will for a moment how that must have felt. To have the one person who is supposed to be closest to you degrade you for something you have put some much time and effort into. Something your proud of not only did he shame her for this, he got his buddies in on it too.
There is no headline grabbing tragedy here, no horrific story that I know of that we can point and say “Why didn’t someone do something?”. But I have to wonder, does it really need to come to that? Is this not an issue that deserves some attention? I’m not an activist. You’ll find no extreme in your face feminist here. But why in a society where things change rapidly from generation to generation is this kind of bigotry… this kind of bulling tolerated. Why is a woman’s sexuality so provocative that there are people out there who would attack and slur her just for this, really rather mild expression of it? It saddens and disgusts me.
And here’s where I will reel myself in dear reader. The easy thing to do is get angry. To beat our chest, stomp around and say ‘This is wrong!’. Don’t mistake me. It is wrong but what can we do about it? Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion. And I’m in no way saying that this type of occurrence is only happening to women. Awareness and community support is the answer here. If you see this happening say something. Most importantly if this is happening to you don’t give your aggressor the satisfaction of shaming you. Stick up for yourself. You are worth it! I’m not saying you have to throw a punch, screaming curses’ and stomping around. In truth I view this demeaning. By choosing this reaction we are only perpetuating the bullying. Trying to violently by both word and deed force a change in someone else’s views is never right and is rarely successful. Though I can understand it’s appeal.
Instead maybe we should draw their attention to what they are doing. Perhaps these perpetrators are unaware of the harm they are causing? Most importantly, don’t let this go unchallenged. No one has the right to make you feel like you are less than they. No one should be able to shame you for something that is right and natural no matter where you sexual preferences lay.
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