susan sebest
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Joined 06-21-11, id: 3008237, Profile Updated: 03-03-14
Author has written 11 stories for Harry Potter, Discworld, Hercule Poirot series, and Die Hard.

Can one be three-quarters naked? Warm weather will soon be upon us, and I was wondering. It may have something to do with socks, I expect... or perhaps a hat.

The oddest bit of movie nudity I ever saw was in a film...I think it was called Sideways.. an enraged, naked man with a ratty looking hat was busily attacking a car, and all I could think was, "THAT hat? Really?"

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Arithmancy by daisy-chains-and-bow-ties reviews
This is the tale of a madman with a wand whose ambitions consist of making the perfect cup of instant noodles and trying to understand Arithmancy. His life is simple, daubed with the occasional hiccup,usually in the form of someone's experiment going terribly wrong, necessitating a long letter of complaint from the giant squid due to overcrowding in the lake. But then he meets her.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,114 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 19h ago - Published: 12/2/2013
Happiest Place on Earth…or Most Irritating by SlytherinsGoldenGirl reviews
It's Vacation time for the Malfoy family. One-Shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 657 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/24 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Tell my father by Magiska mugglaren reviews
Draco keeps falling in love and he tries to get help from his father to sort everything out. It's just dracos part of the conversation the other one is left to your imagination
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 256 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/18 - Complete
Giggles and Coffee by QuillVine reviews
"Granger, what in the name of Merlin is wrong with you, I haven't done a thing, let alone tell a joke, not that I would tell someone as filthy as you a joke unless it's about you!" Malfoy's face was priceless, plus his glare made it even more hilarious… (Dramione implied)….(Based on real events in my Government Class)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,377 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/7 - Published: 12/17/2013 - [Hermione G., Draco M.]
Hogwarts Sunday by SylvaDragon reviews
It's a typical Sunday at Hogwarts, and Albus Dumbledore is bored. Chaos and fun ensue when he decides to find someone to have fun with, and when that fails to create his own fun. Humourous one shot, with just a touch of fluffy romance. ADMM, with appearances by other long suffering staff members. Albus/Minerva, and brief Pomona/Filius.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,407 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/7 - Albus D., Minerva M., F. Flitwick, P. Sprout - Complete
Revolution 9 by Kylestra reviews
"So was recording the white-double any different from recording any other Beatles album?" Paul McCartney looked thoughtful for a moment. "I'd say." The interviewer looked up curiously. "Why?" Paul shrugged. "Because of the wizards, the little blue men and the orangutan...oh and the walking luggage."
Crossover - Harry Potter & Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,573 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/1 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Rincewind - Complete
It Is Light by Razgriz Ace reviews
"It was what they were fighting for all along, and he had to fight the disbelief that it was finally theirs." Harry and Ginny on a playful and introspective morning after.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,958 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/26 - Published: 1/20 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Professor McGonagall's Experiment with Creative Writing by aspiringeducator reviews
Hey Guys! This was actually an assignment for a class, but I would love to hear your feedback on how I can make it more fun and interesting, and if you think the project is a good idea. Basically McGonagall does fan fiction with her year 5 class. Enjoy!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,448 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/13 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Minerva M.
The Death Eaters Practice Team Building by Bellatrix567 reviews
Written out of boredom: after Bellatrix tortures several of the Death Eaters, Voldemort forces them to come to a Muggle coach which will help them become a fully cooperative and happy team, eventually leading them in a competition against the Order of the Phoenix (forced to join by Dumbledore) to win a box of chocolates. Hopefully funny and very random. Characters subject to change
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,948 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 1/12 - Published: 11/29/2013 - Severus S., Voldemort, Bellatrix L., Nagini
How could a car crash? by JediMasterDarjaak reviews
Hagrid asks, in anger, just how a car crash could kill two powerful magic users. Vernon Dursley explains One-shot
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 372 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/6 - Harry P., Rubeus H., Vernon D. - Complete
Diary and Letters by fudgerice reviews
One shot about James and Lily after New Year's Eve. Writing style based on Louise Rennison's 'Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging' series. Rated T for language. Disclaimer: All rights go to both JK Rowling and Louise Rennison.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 895 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/29/2013 - James P., Lily Evans P.
The Nutcrackers by Mel88 reviews
Hermione is determined to finish her holiday shopping early, but Draco is a tough nut to crack.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,324 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/28/2013 - [Draco M., Hermione G.] - Complete
Blood, Snot, and Firewhiskey Shots by Bob The Other Zombie reviews
Fed up with their bickering during the staff holiday party, Rolanda Hooch and the Hogwarts staff lock Minerva McGonagall and Severus Snape into a broom closet until they agree to talk about something other than Quidditch. What follows is only what can be expected- bickering, wit, sarcasm, insults, and blood. MMSS friendship fluff. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,831 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/24/2013 - Severus S., Minerva M. - Complete
Christmas gifts by Sheankelor reviews
Just who makes Albus' more unique robes, and what would convince Severus to face the freezing cold? An Unlikely Friends Christmas tale.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,781 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/24/2013 - Severus S., Albus D. - Complete
Anarchy in the Aisles by Velveteenbunny reviews
We all have to complete the dreaded Christmas shop and this is no different for Severus and Hermione. A food shop at Christmas can only mean Anarchy in the aisles...let's hope our Potions Master keeps his temper...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,870 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 12/23/2013 - Severus S. - Complete
White Christmas by TLX reviews
Harry finds himself alone on Christmas, but then she's not as alone as he thought. Written as part of the 2013 Teachers' Lounge Holiday Exchange for Arpad Hrunta by Martine Lewis.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,777 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/13/2013 - Harry P. - Complete
Nargles Stole My Butterbeer by Muggle Jane reviews
In which Luna tries to convince a former Auror of the dangers of mistletoe. Oneshot, written for the HPFC Battle of the Houses and the Duct Tape Challenge. AU, obviously, 'cause Mad-Eye is alive post-war.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,121 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/12/2013 - Luna L., Alastor M. - Complete
Not Yet by gloryandfame reviews
Hermione wants to leave the reception, Severus stalls.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,419 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/8/2013 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
The Autobiography by selenehekate reviews
The autobiography of Gilderoy Lockhart has some interesting views on its creator...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 360 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/30/2013 - Gilderoy L. - Complete
The Tinsel Incident by meldahlie reviews
"You try putting up tinsel when Peeves has the other end and is trying to throttle you with it." Festive missing moment with two prefects from OotP.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 907 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/30/2013 - Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
The Case of the Living Portrait by the real snape reviews
After the war, Harry insists on having Severus' portrait painted and put up in the Headmistress's office. However, the painting remains silent and unmoving. Minerva decides to investigate. What, exactly, did happen after the Trio left Snape in the Shrieking Shack? A Minerva McGonagall, Spinster Detective story
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,777 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 11/24/2013 - Published: 11/13/2013 - Severus S., Minerva M. - Complete
The Prince by Lady-of-the-Refrigerator reviews
'He's a right nightmare at the best of times, you know as well as I do. Just because you've never had to wait on him doesn't make it any less true.' Written for the SSHG Exchange.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,325 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 10 - Published: 11/8/2013 - [Hermione G., Severus S.] - Complete
The Hogwarts Takeover by BraverLeonheart reviews
Harry discovers the immediate consequences of his victory over Voldemort, more than a decade after the battle.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,688 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/20/2013 - Harry P., Ginny W., Minerva M., F. Flitwick - Complete
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Date Night The Other Version reviews
Ginny drags Harry out for some culture.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 698 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/2/2012 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
DieLittle Bit reviews
It's been a while, and Hans is a little bit out of practice.
Die Hard - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 789 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/29/2012 - Hans G. - Complete
A Weasley Full And True reviews
How do you know when you're getting it right? Hermione learns that all the answers don't come from books.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,038 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/15/2012 - Hermione G. - Complete
Remember The Alamo reviews
A battle of wills. Don't mess with Texas.
Hercule Poirot series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,122 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/7/2012 - Hercule Poirot - Complete
The Matter At Hand reviews
Rincewind is at it again. What's a patrician to do?
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 732 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/2/2012 - Vetinari - Complete
Reunion reviews
You'd think they would have grown out of this 'til now.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 391 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 11 - Published: 5/2/2012 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Squirrelly
Hagrid meets Merrys people under less than ideal circumstances. Mind the dog.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,613 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/4/2012 - Rubeus H. - Complete
Hagrids Merry Christmas
A sweet Christmas romance just for Hagrid.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,649 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/5/2011 - Rubeus H. - Complete
That Strawberry Story
One good turn deserves another. Leda finds a friend. Revised
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,561 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/24/2011 - Severus S. - Complete
A Quite Ordinary Day reviews
Just another magical day at work. Murphy's Law for wizards.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,011 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 9/19/2011 - Severus S. - Complete
When Sevie Met Leda reviews
Sparks, food, and an assortment of other things fly when Professor Snape matches wits with a free-spirited muggle named Leda.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,001 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/16/2011 - Severus S. - Complete