Jinso Kitsune-kun
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Joined 06-25-11, id: 3019870, Profile Updated: 06-19-13
Author has written 7 stories for Naruto.

Ho, ho, ho, everyone! A Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Kwanzaa, and Happy Three Kings Day to you all from Jinso Claus! I have officially decided that, with much input from Jin (Can I get a fucking thank you in there?!), I will rename myself Jinso Claus for the weeks before, during, and after Christmas every year! Merry Christmas, everyone! (And a happy fucking New Year!)


AUTHOR PROFILE
Name:
Jinso or Jinsokuna (Not my real name)

Other Aliases: Etma the Good Hearted, Ectheldor, Savan Phellan

Names You are Allowed to Call Me: Jinso, Jinso-kun, Kitsune-sama, Jinso-sama, any of my known aliases, or J-san.

Names You are Not Allowed to Call Me: Jinso-koi (unless i mutually love you or allow you (just send me a PM asking in case of the latter)), Jinso-dokyun (dumbass), or any derogatory term.

What Will Happen if You Call Me One of Those: I will borrow a K-9 unit, and have it bite your balls off. If you're a girl, I'll have it tear your breasts off. Ya dig?

Age: Somewhere from 0 to Infinity and Beyond

Birthday: January 28th (Not telling the year)

Location: North Carolina

Race: White

Species: Dragon/Elf Hybrid

Favorite Weapon: Myself (Ever played the Prototype video game series? )

Favorite Colors: 1st: Black 2nd: Maroon 3rd: Silver

Favorite Music Genre: Rock

Favorite Video Game Weapon: Master Sword (Beware my blade, villainous scum!)

Likes: Pizza, ramen, ribs, dango, pocky, cinnamon buns, swords, wolves, my family, anime, manga, slasher films, explosions, well-written stories and novella, pickles, training, people who respect the opinions and lifestyles of others, dragons, dinosaurs, NaruHarems (That don't include Sakura (You got a problem with my opinion? Bring it, bitch!)), peace, unity (though I can handle a bit of CHAOS >;D), and badassery.

Dislikes: Racism (It's just unnecessary!), rape/rapists (Unless it's some kind of kinky sex thing (Hey, I don't judge!)), child abusers (That's just WRONG!), Flamers (no comment) Spanish Soda, Religious and Political Conflicts (Despite being religious, I hate it when people start fighting like idiots over religions/politics when they could just leave each other alone), and war.

Pairings I like:

NaruHina, NaruAnko, NaruTen, IchiYoru, IchiRuki, IchiOri, NaruTsu, NaruKona, NaruTema, NarutoxYugito, NaruFu (the girl), NaruxFem. Haku, and any yuri pairings (I'm a straight guy, what can I say?)

Pairings I'm neutral about:

KakaRin, IchiSoi, NaruMatsu, NaruxFem. Gaara

Pairings I do NOT like:

NaruSaku (I'm not going to flame you if you have this pairing, SasuSaku, SasuHina, KibaHina, Sasuke and any girl, and any yaoi pairings

PROFILE QUESTIONS

(Copy 'em if you want)

If you were to be put into a Legend of Zelda fanfiction, what race (creature) would you be, and what would your LoZ name be?

I would be a Twili because A) Twili are badass and B) They can use cool magic and teleport shit, and my name would be Taisaku (Epic (Yeah, I know, I'm tootin' my own horn, so what? Every author deserves to do it every once in a while))

What is your favorite anime?

Damn, that's hard. Three-way tie between Inuyasha, Hellsing, and Bleach. What can I say? I like seeing giant swords hacking apart buildings and shit, and watching undead creatures fight each other in a battle for supremacy.

What are your most recognizable personality traits?

Let's see...

1) You can always find me talking about explosives

2) I sometimes tend to glare for no reason, meaning the little me in my head is either being a perv at an inappropriate time or he won't shut up. (Fuck you, bitch!) Yeah, yeah, the feeling's mutual, bub...

3) Seeing a fire gets me happy and excited.

4) I tend to blurt out random things

5) I almost never smile. I mainly smirk, grin, show no emotion, or glare and flip someone off

6) I look five years older than I really am

7) I have hair that is literally the color of chocolate. Dark chocolate.

8) My eyes are blue/green, and when I turn my head one way, they're green, the other, blue, and if I'm looking straight at you, they look grey.

If you recognize those eight things, you'll have met the one and only Jinso-sama!

Do you hate Sasuke Uchiha? If so, list at least three reasons why.

Anti the motherfucking crazy bastard's ass! He should have been killed by Itachi, but unfortunately, the only good Uchiha besides Mikoto wanted to spare his little brother and have him be brought up strong, not power hungry and just plain stupid.

Here's three reasons why I HATE Sas-uke Gay-chiha:

1) He used to be cool with the whole badass feel around him, but now he's just fucking insane and doesn't care about anyone.

2) He ignored everyone around him (in a badass sort of way), and now acknowledges some people, but only as tools for him to get power.

3) He never looked at his own weaknesses and tried to fix them. That is a key point for any badass; know your weaknesses, and fix 'em so that when someone tries to exploit them, it backfires in their fuckin' face. Not tooting my own horn, but, seeing as I have been proclaimed by my peers as a badass motherfucker, I work on my weaknesses as well.

NaruSaku or NaruHina?

Kitsune and Lavender Princess, thank you very much. Sakura is a complete bitch who was entirely useless until Shippuden, and even then, all she could do was a powered-up version of bashing Naruto on the head, and into walls and shit.

Yeah, pretty fuckin' stupid if you ask me.

If you would and could give Naruto Uzumaki a harem (also smarts, the inability to say "Believe it!", and chakra control in spades), who would be in it? Max: Fourteen women (Why? 'Cuz my birthday is the 28th of a certain month, and 28 divided by two is fourteen!)

Yes I would, and:

1) Hinata (Do I even need to explain?(At least it's better than Sakura) Thank you, Inner Jinso! At least someone has the sense NOT to pair Naruto with Sakura! (KILL THE BITCH! I MUST SHOWER IN HER MUDDY BLOOD!!) Hey, that's Shukaku's thing, not yours. But soon, I may make part of one of my fics devoted to Sakura's "untimely" death. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *lightning crashes*)

2) Mikoto (The ultimate payback against Sasuke (Alive through maybe substitution with a dead body or possibly even not being there when the Uchiha Massacre happened. (One word: MILF) I completely agree.))

3) Anko Mitarashi (Similar past, both are a bit loco en la cabeza, if you know what I mean, so a relationship could definitely form there. (Plus, Anko's pretty much a flasher. I'd be surprised if Naruto DIDN'T get a boner just from seeing those jugs!) Exactly!)

4) Konan (Possibility: Naruto could help her escape from Tobi in time to save her life, thus earning him even more respect and love from her, as he already became an "ever-growing flower of hope" to her, and they get the train rolling (and makin' sweet love too!))

5) Temari (Saved her brother from a life of insanity. ('Nuff said))

6) Kyuubi (Could be female (Look at Yoruichi in her cat form. Ichigo thought she was a dude 'cuz of that form's voice until she of course transformed into her human form with her beautiful knockers and everything! *drools*) Quiet, you perv! Keep your Yoruchi Shihoin fantasies to yourself and me, which really is also just yourself...SHUT UP!)

7) Yugito (Do I really need an answer for that one? (Why would you?))

8) Fu (The Jinchuriki, not the ROOT agent, you crazed yaoi fangirls! And again, do I even need an answer? (I vote no.))

9) Tenten (Possibility: Saves her family's weapons store by coming there with the Hokage, thus attracting more visitors (And a love interest))

10) Samui (Possibility: Helps Kirabi escape from the Akatsuki, and also saves Yugito, giving a reason for #7 (see above), and gains her interest (Lucky bastard...))

11) Kami (You heard me. Supreme goddess and ruler of the heavens herself, Kami, falls in love with Naruto. How and why, you might ask? Kami sees how Naruto has had a horrible life in the village, and (possibility here) when he gets banished after bringing Sasuke back (Because the civilian council is full of senile old farts who can't shit without help and decide to bring up a rule from the Shodai's time about the village in a state of crisis or repair...yadda yadda yadda...and any threats to the village may be removed and the Hokage's decision overruled), it's the last straw. She gives him of few gifts of the supreme supreme deity (insert author's name here)'s choice, as well as her love and affection. (Why can't that happen to us?) Because unfortunately, we are not tortured every day, and do not have as much natural charm as Naruto, but we're close!)

And finally...

12) Yami (The ruler of the underworld who is also Kami's sister has also fallen in love with everyone's favorite blond jinchuriki! For reason, see #11 (right above this one) (I hate not living in the Naru-verse...)

If you could control only one element, what would it be and why?

Darkness. (Shadow tendril tentacle sex!) SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PERV!!!!! (Ok, that might be ONE reason...DON'T JUDGE ME!) As he said, shadow tendrils, not just for kinky sex, but also for holding, moving, and using things without my hands, I can shadow travel, and thus, I will never be late for class or work, I can replenish my energy with the literal night, I can make my own clothing out of shadows, I can make weapons out of shadows, and by an extension, my own body (Personal dream right there), and black will always be in style.

If you had to launch a sneak attack on an enemy base, what would be your preferred weapon, and why? (Note: It must be a current weapon, such as an M16 and other things of the like)

I would chose a bazooka as my weapon because it can blow shit up (only reason that's actually needed for this question), it looks cool, it's compact when disassembled, and again, IT BLOWS. SHIT. UP. (Damn straight!)

If you could be a god or goddess of any certain thing, what would you be a god/goddess of? (Note: (This is for all the crazy peoples out there!) If there is a little person inside your head, post one part about yourself, and one for said little person (Or just make it so the little person interjects in your section)

Me: I would be a god of (sex! I called that one, so you can't take it!) Damn you! *sigh* I guess...I'd be a god of dragons! And my name would be Ryuyuuryoku (Dragon's Courage)! (Mine would be Orgasmo!) Damn perv...

What's your power level?

(insert DBZ joke/scouter meme here)

What's your special wrestling move?

The Juubi Influenced Nuclear Sonic Omega Piledriver (A.K.A: The JINSO Piledriver)

If you were a hanyou (half demon), what animal demon would you be half of? And what other race would you be half of?

I'd be half dragon demon and half elf, like I already am! You know, horns on the top of my head, wings that grow out of my shoulder blades, elongated canines, incisors, and molars, clawed hands, talons, slit pupils, the ability to breathe a certain element, the ability to shapeshift, VERY tough skin, and certain powers that come with my breath weapon. Also the badass long ears.

Gaming platform of choice?

I prefer most classic systems like the Super Nintendo, the NES, N64, Gamecube, mainly because there were some REALLY good games for said systems, but I also enjoy the Wii and Xbox. I'm kinda iffy on Playstation; while I enjoy playing Playstation games, the PSN being down often ticks me off, and no offense to any who love this platform, but the controller feels kinda off in my hands. *shrug*Maybe it's just me.

If you were stranded on a deserted island, and you could only have ten items with you (food, water, tools, and clothing are four of ten), what six would you choose?

1) Solar Battery

2) Ration Bars

3) Lighter/Matches

4) Refillable Water Bottle

5) Flashlight that gets powered by #1

6) Flare Gun

QUESTION SECTION IS OVER


Ok, everyone, Personal Rant Section!

These are my opinions, so fuck you if you disagree!

Ok, I'm gonna get the hate out of the way so I can type the happiness after!

Things I Hate:

I HATE Justin Bieber

I'm sorry all you rabid, sociopathic, insane, psychotic, fucked up JB fangirls, but this is a sore topic.

The FIRST time I ever heard a JB song (It was that "Baby" bullshit), I had a huge fucking migraine. It was arguably the biggest one I've had yet in my life. I was sitting in the car, and that song I mentioned earlier came up on the radio. My head hurt like a MOTHERFUCKER, so I tried to turn the radio off. But my mom is an absolute control freak when it comes to buttons, and she just TUNED OUT THE SONG. My mom TROLLED ME before TROLLING WAS TROLLING! Yeah, you can probably imagine what came next. I had to sit through about four minutes of squeaky, high-pitched, annoying-as-fuck, head-pounding, girly-girl, mushy, gushy, idiotic, lovey-dovey, 'I-want-you-back' shitty love song Hell. WITH A HUGE. FUCKING. MIGRAINE.

Yeah, so that was FUN. -_-

And what the FUCK is up with that stupid bowlcut!?! ONLY THE BEATLES CAN WEAR THAT AND NOT LOOK A BUNCH OF PREPUBESCENT DIPSHITS!!

I HATE fangirls

Now, before anyone flames me, let me set things up. Despite what many people think, there are TWO different types of 'fangirls'. The first kind of fangirl is the kind you wish you could be around, but the rule of 'Life is a bitch' makes that a big no-no. This type of fangirl is the regular fangirl, or as I like to call them, 'Wishfans'. Wishfans are the regular, normal, non-screeching girl who is JUST a fan of something. You wish they were the majority of fangirls, but as chuggaaconroy says in an epic voice, "NO!"

Now the second kind...Here's an example:

"Oh, Sasuke-kun!"

Figured it out yet? Just typing that single sentence made me want to puke my guts out more than watching Rock Lee and Maito Gai do the Sunset Genjutsu of Youth while I'm strapped to a chair and forced to watch it.

The second kind of fangirls are the deranged, insane, sociopathic, rabies-infested, worse than Eric Sparrow from Tony Hawk's Pro Jam media zombies that make you wish you had a gun to shoot them with. They're modern society's equivalent of the Zerg. But worse.

Unlike the Zerg, these fangirls have more conscientious minds, instead of the Zergs' hive mind. These fangirls will literally threaten to KILL, MAIM, or BEAT TO DEATH anyone else who likes the person they worship. I'm not kidding! Also, it seems JB has a lot of these! I was watching the news one time, and an article came on about how when it was announced that Selena Gomez and JB were a couple, at least ONE THOUSAND JB fangirls JUST in my home state (that I also currently live in) replied on Gomez' Facebook, Twitter, etc. pages with SHITLOADS of DEATH THREATS! FUCKING DEATH. THREATS!

I like to call this type of fangirl...The Menace.

Fitting, isn't it?

I HATE 'gangstas'

So...It's the year 2012; memes are all the rage, along with boy bands filled to brim with homosexuality and RAINBOWS! Can anybody say One Direction?

And let's not forget, being GANGSTA! *insert obligatory picture of a 'gangsta' here*

(record scratch)

Wait...WHAT?! Ok, look. I know you're trying to look cool and stand out, but acting like a complete tool with your underwear halfway down your waist and your backwards hat, and your gold chains, and your ebonics isn't gonna help ANYBODY! You are NOT a 'GANGSTER!' AND YOU MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT HAVE "SWAG"!!!!

Look at Al Capone.

AL CAPONE is a GANGSTER.

Look at you.

YOU are a TOOL OF SOCIETY WHO THINKS IT'S COOL TO ACT LIKE A DICK AND SPEAK EBONICS MIXED WITH BAD KLINGON.

(sigh) If you still don't understand...HERE'S THE MOTHERFUCKING MERRIAM-WEBSTER DEFINITION! *throws a dictionary*

Gangster

n. a member of a gang of criminals

Ex: "Al Capone remains one of the most notorious gangsters in American History."

AL. MOTHERFUCKING. CAPONE.

HE is a gangster.

NOT YOU.

I DESPISE politics

Once more, this is a touchy subject and--

OH, FUCK IT! YOU'VE HEARD THE WARNING BEFORE!

Okay, so we're on politics.

Great...

I fucking HATE politics.

So just to wrap this little part up quickly...Imagine the next few lines of dialogue being spoken with hand puppets and shitty voice acting.

What follows is how I see every political campaign.

"Vote for me! My competitor is blah blah blah blah blah!..."

"No, vote for me! He's a liar who blah blah blah!..."

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!! AND EVEN IF I HAD ONE TO GIVE, I'D GIVE IT TO CHARITY, YOU DIPSHITS!! IT'S MORE THAN YOU PEOPLE DO BY WASTING AMERICA'S MONEY ON YOUR SHITTY FUCKING AD CAMPAIGNS!!

Honestly, people, look at this through a neutral standpoint. I'm neither democrat nor republican, and I REALLY don't give a fuck about who did what or why whatever is the way it is! I merely stay out of political affairs and watch the fireworks that get lit by the metaphorical pyrotechnist.

And I don't mean Tama.

I'm a REALIST...and a CYNIC. I see every political squabble for what it really is; a childish argument that wastes peoples' time and money so that one person can feel like they truly won something that NEVER EXISTED. All political campaigns are nowadays are alleyway cock fights where the candidates are the cocks and the zealous political followers are the people making bets. They say they're doing something good for the country, when honestly, they're just trying to boost their own egos. I hate Obama, and I also hate Mitt Romney. They're wasting valuable money that could better be spent on doing what they said they'd do and getting the damn country out of the pit that it's in and making the peoples' lives a LOT easier! Now, while I hate both of them--it's actually dislike for Obama and hate for Romney--I do, in fact, respect Obama at the very least. He's the one actually trying to help the country, whereas old "Moneybags" Romney is just being greedy. However, while I admire and respect Obama's goals, his push effort needs a little work.

Pull your heads outta your asses and work THE FUCK together! NO DEMOCRATS! NO REPUBLICANS! JUST WORK THE FUCK TOGETHER AND FIX THE COUNTRY DAMMIT!! I DON'T NEED TO SAY ANY MORE, SO FUCK THAT!

I LOATHE FACEBOOK

I believe that Crimson ultrafox can sum this up pretty well!

OH MY GOD!!! STOP fishing for comments and likes you annoying useless fucks!@!@!@ This one's so big that I need to give a few primary examples of the main things I hate about it: First of all, I detest when a girl will post something like this, "I hate you, NEVER AGAIN." she says this objectively on her page so that everyone of her useless FB friends (including me) can see that she is having a fight with her boyfriend whom she conveniently forgets to tag in the comment. NOBODY CARES! Then it gets even better when people start to ask her about what's happening and she says, "I don't want to talk about..." When clearly by posting that stupid shit on her wall, she wants people to ask her about it so she can feel better about herself. And let's be honest here, you know that bitch posts shit like that just waiting for that one loser stalker of hers to compliment her. Then yours truly, will say something like this, "If you don't want people to talk to you about your useless problems then stop posting shit on Facebook for attention."

Afterwards, I receive many insults for being too harsh with her since she is going through tough time. I swear I hate it when people do that on Facebook. Moving on to another thing I hate is when people post quote after quote after quote after quote all day every fucking day! I seriously unfriended half those people and took the other half off my news feed. My uncle was especially bad about it because he posted a Jesus meme or some bible quote dozens of times a day which flooded my news feed. What's even worse is when a guy or girl posts some relationship quote which I won't even bother giving an example because I know you've all read them before.

Next on the list are the people that feel like cataloguing every five minutes of their useless consumer driven life! "Woke up early this morning, ate some cereal." 5 people like this. Five minutes later, "Put my bowl in the sink...I don't want to go to school today!" 7 people like this. Random stupid bitch replies, "Me neither! I want to stay home today! :)" 20 people like this. This continues all damn day. People will even post shit like, "I'm bored somebody text me." Useless tool hipster likes this. "Bro let's hang out!" Annoying twat that posted the comment likes this.

You thought I was done?! Hell fucking no...moving on we have the wonderfully annoying people that take about a hundred shirtless pictures in the mirror. God damn you people, stop doing that! No I don't want to see your abs you fucking tool! Next up we have people that take way too many pictures of their god damn pets and kids. My sister posts a picture of her dog at least ten times a day...

People who lie about their age...now this isn't really as noticable anymore since I'm out of high school, but I remember a lot of the underclassman girls would say they were eighteen on their FB page. Well...that doesn't scream whore does it? Moving on we have the oh so wonderful people that post vulgar shit all over FB. Wow kid...you just posted a whole bunch of profanity on FB and were bragging about how drunk you were so your whole fucking family can read it...how charming.

I never cuss on Facebook, (almost never) because unlike most people my age, I actually don't want to disrespect my family by acting like a dick where my grandma and everybody can read. Granted I am doing that very thing on this website...but none of them know about it so that's different. That dad from the youtube video "Facebook Parenting" describes how I feel about people that do this shit. Another thing I hate is why the fuck can't anybody spell?!?!?! IT's the damn internet...you can look shit up! I don't care if your grammar isn't perfect, mine certainly isn't, but when I see people spell the world "Night" like "Nite" and so on so forth, I just shudder. I wasn't even that good at English in school, I was a math and sports kid and I have a better vocabulary than 90 percent of my country.

People that post top ten shit that I would never want to know or care about. Older people are especially bad about doing this. (Damn this is like the neverending rant isn't it?) Up next we have people that post shit like this, "Hit 1 if you like me, 2 if you think I'm a good friend, 3 if you want to date me, 4. if you think I'm cute, 5. If I'm sexy, 6. If you like like me, 7. If I'm trustworthy..." you get the idea. People that do that are shallow attention seekers that can't stand being alone or not talking 24/7.

Well I guess I'll wrap up my facebook rant with another big irk...when two people dating in a relationship comment back and forth and flirt over facebook so that everybody can read it. These people want an audience...they want people to pay attention to them. They need to jump off a bridge and die. I don't give a fuck about your status updates on your relationship because that has no affect on my life whatsoever and it simply proves that you base your opinion about yourself on what other people think. I could rant all day and night about Facebook, but you pretty much get the idea by now.

That man speaks the MOTHERFUCKING truth!

I HATE Twilight

Flame Shield Activated

Alright, where to begin...

I know! How about the part where vampires no longer acted badass, but instead were pale-faced fucks who SPARKLE when exposed to sunlight and act like teenage emo dipshit drama queens? Yeah, that'll work!

Ok, when I first heard what vampires were like in Twilight, I wanted to PUKE. Seriously? Instead of bursting into FUCKING FIRE, they SPARKLE like my 5 year old cousin's room?! Alright, that's bullshit! Vampires DIE in sunlight! They DIE!! They don't sparkle like a little bitch! THEY BURST INTO A SHOWER OF MOTHERFUCKING UNHOLY FIRE AND WAIL IN AGONY AS THEIR UNDEAD SOUL IS FUCKING CONSUMED BY THE SUN'S LIGHT!

But it got worse!

Apparently, one of the pale-faced fucks that I mentioned above and some douchebag Neo-werewolf are fighting over a HUMAN girl! And the girl constantly has a look on her face that makes it seem she's eternally constipated!

SOUND THE BULLSHIT ALARM, PEOPLE!! WE HAVE A MAJOR CRISIS HERE!!

Not only that, but this ALL takes place in a FUCKING high school. Are you serious?! It's like someone took one of those 'characters in high school' fanfics and mixed in 5 tons of BULLSHIT, then made it a BOOK! WITH 3 SEQUELS AND A MOVIE SAGA!! Aw, COME ON! I used to RESPECT vampires!! Now I just hate them! Well, only the ones from Twilight, but you know what I meant!

And it STILL got worse!

I have two sisters, ok? One's my twin, and the other is five years older than us both. Thankfully, my twin sister didn't get hooked on Twilight! In fact, she HATED it! And she is a GIRLY GIRL! But my other sister...she joined the Twihard cult! Yeah, I had to listen to my older sister blab to her fucking friends about Twilight almost EVERY DAY. And once, she even tried to get me to go see TWILIGHT with her! Thankfully, me and my dad went to go see Transformers 3 instead. It wasn't that good, but almost ANYTHING was better than seeing Twilight!

So here's another point I want to bring up...

Look back at the 90's. About 10 years ago, EVERYTHING was different. No YOLO, no 'gangstas', no TV drama overloads...

Now look at the present.

Every single douchebag uses 'YOLO' as an excuse to get high, drunk, stoned, and make an ass of themselves in public! Every kid's gotta act like a 'gangsta' and speak fucking ebonics, and sag their pants, and have 'swag'!! Yeah, let me know when 'swag' gets you through COLLEGE!! See you at the fucking McDonalds on the corner of "I failed college" Avenue and "I'm an idiot" Boulevard! On TV, shows that were once good are now filled to the brim with shitty, idiotic, poorly acted drama scenes!

Also, let's look at a comparison between teenage female hearthrobs:

In the 90's: Ripped dudes with open-chested shirts who carried a machete and acted badass

Now: Pale-faced fucks with no shirts and no abs leaning against a fucking wall with their pit hair showing and a look on their face that screams "I'm an emo dipshit who takes it up the ass"!!

How the fuck did we come to this in only ten years?!

I HATE spoiled brats

Alright, this one's a personal rant.

You see, I LIVE with a spoiled brat; my sister who is five years older than me. And believe it or not, my parents didn't cause it! The spoiled brat in question caused it! You see, she's deaf. Yeah, I know it sounds like I'm being harsh on her, but just listen. Her hearing loss wasn't natural. It was caused by some medicine they gave her after her birth to keep her alive. Something was wrong with her body when she was born, and the doctor told my mother that my older sister only had about an hour to live after her birth. They gave her this medicine that was supposed to keep her alive, but an it caused an accidental side effect which made my sister lose her hearing. Now, you'd think that after she was only given an hour to live and managed to live beyond her 18th birthday as a very healthy person (she's still alive, by the way), and the fact that she's deaf, she'd be humble...right?

FUCK. NO.

My older sister has some sort of twisted belief that the world owes her because she has never had that many friends, and she can't handle jack shit emotionally. She cries whenever she doesn't get what she wants, and she can't handle an ounce of the truth. As I have said, I am a cynic, but I try to be careful of her feelings. Seriously, though...she gets pissed off if you whisper when she is in the same room because she thinks you're talking about her, she gets pissed when anyone tries to give her advice, she thinks she's ALWAYS right, she chews with her mouth open EVERY time she eats, and it looks disgusting because she doesn't EVER swallow her spit, she's a hypocrite, she barely does any work, she always gets up at 3:00 AM, and starts EMAILING our parents about bullshit that only she CARES ABOUT, she acts like she's bipolar (EVEN THOUGH SHE'S NOT DIAGNOSED WITH IT), she sleeps anywhere BUT her bed for MOST OF THE DAY, and the worst part?

WHENEVER she gets into a fight with someone, she'll go to sleep angry, and then get up acting like it NEVER HAPPENED. Sometimes, she even FORGETS the fight she was in!

SHE EVEN GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH MY PARENTS ON MY TWELFTH BIRTHDAY AND COMPLETELY OVERREACTED BECAUSE MY PARENTS WOULDN'T BUY HER SOMETHING THAT COSTED $100!! ON MY TWIN SISTER AND I'S BIRTHDAY!!!

I had to fully mature my own MIND at the age of NINE because I had to be the motherfucking strong one for my twin sister and I when I held my twin in my arms and sat there, with her crying into my chest, LISTENING TO THE SOUNDS OF YELLING, SCREAMING, WHINING, ANGER, AND RAGE that came from my older sister for TWO FUCKING HOURS!!! AND I HAD TO KEEP MYSELF FROM CRYING FOR ALL OF IT!!! I WAS NINE FUCKING YEARS OLD!!!

AND IT DIDN'T STOP THERE!!!

MY OLDER SISTER IS SUCH A BITCH THAT WHEN MY PARENTS REFUSE TO BUY HER SOMETHING, SHE GETS SO PISSED OFF THAT SHE GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, GRABS A BUTCHER KNIFE, AND THREATENS TO KILLHERSELF!!!

I'M DEADSERIOUS!!!

ONE TIME, SHE EVEN GOT SO ANGRY THAT HER MIND BLEW A GASKET AND SHE HAD A SEIZURE!!!

I WAS TEN AT THE TIME!!

And do you know why she got so mad?

She kept asking my parents for something, which I can't remember because i got so pissed off at how MY OWN SISTER could act like such a BITCH!! When they said no, she stomped off and tried to go to her room!! I confronted her before she got there, and I asked her how the hell she was so shallow!! MY MOM, DAD, MY TWIN SISTER, AND MYSELF HAD GIVEN UP A LOT OF OUR LIVES JUST TO MAKE THIS BITCH WHO CALLED HERSELF MY SISTER HAPPY!!

I had to give up the joy of HAVING A BIRTHDAY PARTY AT THE AGE OF ELEVEN SO THAT BITCH COULD BE HAPPY!! I DIDN'T HAVE A PARTY FROM MY ELEVENTH BIRTHDAY TO MY 13TH SO SHE COULD FEEL SPECIAL AND PRETTY!! At least my twin sister got to have her party!! I HAD TO STAY AT HOME AND GOT A FUCKING CUPCAKEAS MY BIRTHDAY TREAT!!! I GOT A TOTAL OF EIGHT PRESENTS ON MY ELEVENTH BIRTHDAY, AND ALMOST THE EXACT SAME AMOUNT FOR THE NEXT TWO!!!

She has a fucking Macbook, an iPhone (which she got even though she didn't NEED it!), a credit card, a shit ton of unneeded accessories, and to top it all off, I recently went to Hershey Park with my mom and my twin sister, and brought her back an 8 x 12 inch milk chocolate bar in PERFECT CONDITION, and she said that we got her the wrong gift, even though she fucking SPECIFIED that she wanted chocolate, and instead started bitching about how she wanted a set of fucking EARBUDS!!

For those of you who don't know, I am the motherfucking KING of all chocoholics!!!

I USED EVERY FUCKING BIT OF SELF RESTRAINT I HAD TO NOT HAVE A BITE OF IT, AND SHE BARELY ATE ANY OF THE BAR ITSELF BEFORE THROWING IT AWAY!!!

Now, I don't know about what you people think that was, BUT I ASSURE YOU, THAT WAS A DICK MOVE!!

She isn't grateful for ANYTHING she gets, even when me and my twin sister had to give up our PRIVATE SCHOOL education in the seventh and eighth grades for HER to go to her LAST FUCKING YEAR of high school with a TEN THOUSAND DOLLAR TUITION because she 'loved it and had so many friends there'!! WELL, IF YOU LOVED IT SO MUCH, THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU COME BACK FROM SCHOOL EVERY DAY, BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT HOW NOBODY LIKED YOU THERE AND THAT YOU HAD SUCH A HARD TIME?!

I HATE the people with 'first world problems'

You know those people with 'first world problems'?

The ones who piss and moan on Facebook and Twitter about how their cell phone broke, or the ten year-old girls who cry because they broke up with their boyfriends?

I. HATE. THEM.

So you've got a Blackberry, an iPhone, a laptop, a Facebook, a Twitter, and you get a BIG-ASS allowance, and that's STILL not enough?!

When I was 10, I was lucky to get paid $1 for doing CHORES! Work was fucking second nature in my childhood! I did what I was told to do without any exception! I metaphorically had humility beat into me every second of every day!

And yet you're crying because you can't get something expensive?! That's bullshit!

If you're one of those people, you better get the fuck off of my profile right now!

If you're not one of those people, then by all means, keep reading!

Those people are fucking pussies that don't know what it means to have a bad day!

Oh, your cell phone broke? Tough shit! Oh, you can't log in on Facebook? Tough shit!

Oh, you think I'm being an insensitive bully?

TOUGH FUCKING SHIT!

Anyone who acts like that deserves to die in a fucking hole! Your life is NOT hard! You are NOT the most miserable person in the world! YOU'RE JUST A PUSSY WHO CAN'T HANDLE JACK SHIT AND DESERVES TO BE IN KINDERGARTEN!!

You wanna talk about a hard life?!

TRY HAVING THE DAY YOU DIE BE SET IN STONE THE MOMENT YOU'RE FUCKING BORN!

I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING!!

MY DAYS WERE NUMBERED BEFORE I KNEW HOW TO FUCKING COUNT!

I have acid reflux!

Oh, you think I'm being overly dramatic?

Well, why don't I explain how this disease works?

Acid reflux causes the person afflicted with it to have random, erratic moments where their gallbladder involuntarily spasms, releasing unnecessary bile. The bile is transported to the stomach, which also spasms, sending the bile up and into the esophagus. From there, the bile attaches to the first solid object available; the esophagus itself. The bile in the esophagus is not enough to instantly break through its thick walls before it dissipates from contact with saliva and mucus, but it is enough to start burning the walls of the esophagus.

This causes a burning sensation, watering of the eyes, and short loss of breath. Drinking water doesn't even help it in the least. This continually happens throughout the afflicted person's life, eventually breaking part of the esophagus at the neck and causing a loss of the ability to breathe IF they have as bad of a case as I do.

I'm already going to die at some point, but I don't give a fuck!

NOW SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR GODDAMN FAKE PROBLEMS, YOU PUSSIES, AND MAN THE FUCK UP!

I HATE people who rag on nerds

Yeah. I JUST SAID THAT.

I DESPISE the people who act like dicks to nerds just because they aren't athletic, or because they're smart.

You know why?

I AM a nerd!

THAT'S RIGHT! I'M A BADASS NERD WITH ASTHMA WHO IS A FUCKING BLACK BELT!!!

I love Star Trek, I love Star Wars, I love Doctor Who, I've seen Citizen Kane, I love manga, I love anime, I can spout anime and video game quotes on command, I read instead of being extremely social, I'm a walking dictionary, I know a LOT of facts, I can speak Klingon, I can speak Elvish, I can speak Draconic, I enjoy cosplaying, I'm not on an athletic team at school, I love Band Class, I can play songs from the Legend of Zelda games on my own ocarina, I wish I had the Rinnegan, I've memorized several Jutsu and their hand seals, I can speak a LOT of Japanese, I'm multilingual, and I'm the 'A' student of my classes!

FUCK YOU, I'M NOT GONNA SAY ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT THIS!

I hate those kids that act tough but turn into a pussy at the first sign of retaliation

You know that old bully from junior high who you despised?

I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE LIKE HIM.

They act like they're the shit and that you can't do a thing to them. They prance around, ruining your social life, and fucking up your nice days.

Then...you snap.

You march right over to that dipshit and sock him in the face. The moment he's on the ground, that guy turns into a fucking pussy and bawls his shitty little eyes out because you hit him.

THOSE PEOPLE NEED TO DIE!

END OF STORY!

I HATE arrogant people

Those jerks at school who think they're above you because you're not like them?

Yeah...I HATE THOSE PEOPLE!

MOVING ON!

I hate girls that gossip about you while you're right next to them

Seriously? I'm right next to you...and you're gossiping about me. REALLY?

ARE YOU THAT MENTALLY DEFICIENT?!

I DESPISE people who think YOLO is an excuse to do whatever they want

(This shall be explained in a retelling of something that happened to me at school from my point of view)

Some Douchebag: Hey, bruh, you wanna try some weed?

Me: No. Go away.

Douchebag: C'mon, bruh! Just try some!

Me: No, I don't want any weed. I like my lungs and my brain intact, thank you very much.

Douchebag: *clicks his tongue* Man, you some fuckin' pussy or some shit like dat? YOLO, bruh! You only live once!

Me:...You're seriously going to use that phrase as an EXCUSE to get high? YOLO means to live your life to the fullest, not act like some braindead moronic piece of shit and kill yourself over a period of time.

Douchebag: Bu--

Me: I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. Get that fucking weed out of MY FACE, GO AWAY, AND DON'T BOTHER ME AGAIN!

Douchebag: Man, you ain't never gon' get nowhere. *is about to walk off*

Me: And by the way, shit for brains, you don't only live once. I died in the hospital after talking a cast-iron driver to the face. They had to use a defibrillator--you know, the 'CLEAR! BZZZZ!' device--to get my heart working after I lost a little too much blood, and I came back. So go fuck yourself!

And yes, I am telling the truth. I died from blood loss and they had to restart my heart.

I hate people who do what I like to call 'faith-raping'

Now, that term will probably seem awkward to you. But let me explain so you know why I call it that.

'Faith-raping' is when someone who is of any religion starts doing things 'in the name of' their religion that completely defy the rules set in place BY said religion.

For example, a homophobic Christian saying, "God hates gays" is faith-raping. I'm not intending to insult anyone of a non-Christian faith with my next statement (and if I do, I am deeply sorry), but you cannot state whether or not God hates gays. To do so would be committing what I consider an example of disobeying the first of the Ten Commandments; Thou shalt not use thy Lord's name in vain. Also, it is stated in the Bible that God loves and consider every man, plant, and animal of every kind to be equal. That is DIRECTLY stated in the Bible, so saying that God hates gays is sacrilegious.

Another example would be Al Qaeda. Al Qaeda has stated that they have been attacking and killing large amounts of people as part of the jihad (holy war) that the Quran/Koran tells them to wage. But from what I understand of the Quran/Koran, Islam is a pacifistic religion. The 'holy war' that it speaks of is not one of bloodshed and violence. Instead, it is a war of both knowledge and faith in which those of Islamic faith must win. I don't know if what I am saying is exactly what the Quran/Koran states, but I assume that it is somewhere along those lines...

Pre-pubers on Call of Duty

Right, let's see what's next...

(looks at title)

...FUCK...

I KNOW I'm not the only one who hates these people this time!

I used to play Call of Duty; mostly kept on the campaign and stayed away from the multi-player. So one day, I heard from some friends about how one of them kicked some 9 year-old's ass in MW2, and the kid called them a 'shit-head faggot who fucks an old-ass fucking N64 in their dusty-ass fucking faggot basement'. I asked if people actually said things like that and was given nods all around. Later that day, I decided to try out multi-player to see if the rumors were true.

...I now keep a wooden cross by my copy of Modern Warfare 2.

Idiots who have computer problems and ask stupid questions

Let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we?

The year was 2010; I had just gotten a job at my school's tech support office and worked the tech-philosopher's department (as I called it). For about a week, I didn't get any calls for support (though that may have been because I was forced by the administration to work for the last week of my Spring Break). Finally, i received a call about some guy's Dell desktop with Windows 7. Naturally, I picked up the phone and answered. Here's the conversation:

"Thanks for calling XXX's (can't state school name for certain reasons) Technical Support Helpline! What seems to be the problem?"

"Listen, I got this Dell desktop with Windows 7 about a year ago, and some weird shit's been happening lately."

"What exactly?"

"It's been sparking a lot, and now it has a crack in the box-thing's side and it's letting out white smoke." (Exact words, I shit you not)

"...And...?"

"I was wondering...is my computer broken?"

After he asked that, I blinked a couple of times, facepalmed away from the phone, and then replied back.

"No, it's elected a new fucking Pope."

"Really?!"

"NO! NOW SHUT THE HELL UP AND GO BACK TO PRESCHOOL!"

And that's the story of how I got fired from my tech support job. (JK, I actually got high-fived by my boss, who was coincidentally my best friend. Wink, wink.)

People who think stereotypes are True

...Well, shit. I knew we would come to this eventually.

Now, as you all may/may not know, I fucking HATE stereotypes. They're unnecessary, moronic, made by idiots who could make a kindergartner look like Albert fucking Einstein, and should have no place in the world. But sadly...they do. Here's another little tidbit from my past school years for all who want something to entertain them:

I was in 5th Grade, and we were studying about Islamic religion in Social Studies. My teacher asked the class,

"Class, can anyone tell me a connection between Islamic religion and airports?" And as you all can probably tell, the class "shit-for-brains" raised his hand, glared, and said this (actual quote):

"They're fucking terrorists and shit and want to bomb all our fucking cities like the shitty terror fuckers they are! Those brown-skin fuckheads should all be killed in public!" And right next to me was a good friend of mine...who was a Muslim. The moron's words started to make her cry, causing me to growl a little (FYI, I DESPISE it when people make a woman/women cry for no reason). The teacher narrowed his eyes with an "are-you-shitting-me" look on his face and replied,

"No...there used to be religious centers at airports for Muslims. What is your problem, Dick? (the kid's name was Dick)"

"I KNEW IT! YOU'RE A FUCKING TERRORIST LOVER! Why don't you go and bomb all our fucking buildings and shit with your brown-skinned terrorist fuck buddies!" Having had enough of this, I got up, ran right over, and socked the kid right in the face. Dick yelled at me,

"What the hell is your problem, shithead?!" At the time, I didn't have as well control over my emotions as I now do, so I growled, punched him (and knocked three teeth out of his mouth), grabbed him by the shirt, and turned him at my friend.

"That is the fucking problem, you racist bastard! You made her CRY!" Everyone--even the TEACHER--cringed at my words. If there was one unspoken rule in the classroom, it was that you NEVER pissed me off. (I shit you not, that is actually true. I tend to "Hulk Out" when I get pissed, so most people just back off and run away) Even the teacher was afraid of me when I was pissed.

"NOW SAY YOU'RE SORRY, OR ELSE!"

"Why should I be sorry? She's probably a terrorist spy or some shit like that! And what are you gonna do to me if I don't: preach your fucking Muslim terrorist shit?" The kid gained quite a shiner for that remark. I then pulled him closer and grit my teeth at him.

"If you don't fucking apologize...I'LL SHOVE A CHAIR SO FAR UP YOUR RACIST DOUCHEBAG ASS THAT YOU'LL COUGH OUT SCRAP METAL FOR A FUCKING MONTH! YOUR FUCKING DOCTOR WILL TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR X-RAYS AND GO, 'DAAAAAAAMN!' The inside of your ass will make a trash compactor look like a massage parlor!"

That's the end of the hates!

On with the LOVES!

Things I love:

I love big breasts

Crimson ultrafox can explain this one:

...Yes it may sound perverted, but I'm a guy and that's my preference...Although anything above double D is a little extreme. Now when I say big, I'm not talking about the balloon tits...no, I just like when they are natural and proportionate. This isn't really that important to me, but I don't like to date flat-chested girls. Granted I'll gladly make an exception for any kind of acrobatic girl since their legs and ass more than make up for it.

I love unique women

Now, when I say unique, I mean that they don't follow the crowd; they stand out, and not just in physical ways! I love women who have their own opinions, and they don't care what anyone else says. That kind of woman who would read manga at a football game. You know what I mean?

I love girls who read manga and watch anime

THAT is the perfect girlfriend in my opinion! Not many girls do that these days, and it's a bit depressing! Seriously, what's wrong with a girl liking anime and manga?! What, is it because she doesn't whore herself out to you every five seconds? THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT! FUCK YOU!

I love rain

In the Naruto universe, Amegakure is my favorite shinobi village out of all of them. It rains all the time, and I LOVE rain. Most people hate it when it rains because their clothes will get wet, but I don't care! Hell, one time, my dad and I ran out in the rain from a haircut place to the Harris Teeter that was on the opposite side of the shopping center and we had FUN! By the time we got in there, my dad and I were soaked to the bone and laughing our asses off!

I love explosions

I'm not gonna lie. I LOVE blowing shit up. It's fun. It's epic. It's somewhat of an art, actually. I can't really explain why I love it so much...but I just do. It's just fun for me.

I love intelligent women

It's quite nice to know a girl nowadays who is INTELLIGENT. Most of the girls at my school...I'll put it bluntly: They gossip, act like bitches, and will never SHUT THE FUCK UP. I love women who you can depend on for more than sex. The only downside is that you can never win an argument with one...Heheh...

I love girls with piercings

Once more, I'll let Crimson ultrafox explain.

Oh yes it's one of my eye catchers. Girls with labret piercings, nose piercings, or even vaginal piercings have a certain seduction about them (No wonder I like Konan)

I love nature

Nature is the living example and yin and yang. I love nature. It's peaceful, it's serene, nothing is out to get you, and there's no major troubles or annoyances. Often times I find myself just taking a few minutes to admire the quality of the natural world around us. It's quite like a sculpture. Every single detail is crafted with care and patience, shaped and unshaped numerous times until it's just right, and then placed on display for all to see.

I love guns

You can't be an explosions lover without loving guns as well. It's a rule. Check the Boominomicon and see for yourself!

I love winter

Winter is the season I favor most, and for several reasons;

It's cold out during winter. No further explanation needed for that one.

It snows. I love snow. I love snowball fights. And I love simply watching little flakes of frozen water float down from the heavens and coat the earth in a fine white blanket.

No school. I hate my school; end of story.

I love Pewdiepie

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRREEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

I love quiet

"Silence is golden, and duct tape is silver." The saying goes. Silence lets you think; it lets you take a moment and catch your breath in your daily life. You can relax and let your troubles go away. And duct tape can help you cause it.

I love water

I always feel at home in the water. I can just stop worrying about life and relax in it. I don't know why, but I just feel like I have this connection with aquatic animals. I have two pet frogs at home, and I love them so much. They're actually quite old for frogs, having lived over the age of 4 human years. That's equivalent to one of those old sages in an RPG who knows just about everything and helps you on your path to destiny.

I love spring

Despite loving the winter, I also just LOVE spring. It's the season of rebirth and new beginnings among the entire world, where the flowers bloom once more and the animals come out of hiding. Nowadays, no one ever really takes the time to stop and enjoy the wonders of nature and spring. It's one of life's true masterpieces.

I love fire

Fire...Fire is something I enjoy watching. Every time a flame is lit, I can just look straight into the fire and see the darkness behind its light. Many people think that anyone who loves fire is an arsonist, but that's not true. I've never burned down any buildings in my life!

I love Okami

Anyone here ever heard of the game Okami?

If you haven't, then let me explain what Okami IS.

Okami is a video game for the Playstation 2 and Wii console systems by Clover Studios, and it takes place in the Edo Period of ancient Japan. In Okami, you take control of Okami Amaterasu, goddess of the sun, in a quest to restore nature to its former glory and save the world. You are accompanied on your journey by the wandering artist Issun, who is part of a race of creatures known as the Poncles. Utilizing special ink brush techniques, you can manipulate wind, lightning, ice, fire, day and night, and you can even slow down time itself! You gain these skills by reforming constellations and freeing the 13 gods of the brush as you travel the land of Nippon. (Nippon is the Japanese word for 'Japan')

As I've said, I LOVE Okami.

I love the characters; I love the dialogue; I love the story; I ESPECIALLY love the scenes where you restore guardian saplings; and to quote a famous man on Youtube named chuggaaconroy...I LOVE the art direction

I will admit that the combat system is a bit tricky and confusing at times, but other than that (and that godforsaken camera), Okami is a very good game!

I honestly do not mind if anyone hates Okami or just tries to spite me (I really don't care about that last one), but even if you utterly despise Okami, you have to admit; the art and music are AMAZING. If you think I'm lying, just take a look at these two videos:

For the art:

Link

For the music:

Link

For an amazing combo of both (SPOILER ALERT!!):

Link

Rant section is over!


Random Thoughts Board

-It's been proven in countless experiments that if you wave pocky around my face when I'm asleep, I'll put you in a Full Nelson and take the pocky while you black out. It has been proven.

-I don't give a fuck if you think I'm an asshole. I state the truth, and my opinion, and whoever starts bitching will get a palm strike to the face and a roundhouse kick to the stomach. I am an asshole, but I'm also a badass, and have fairly earned my black belt in Taekwondo.

-Beer is God's gift to men for when they're bored.

-Dropkicks are fuckin' hilarious. If you say that you haven't laughed after seeing someone get dropkicked, you're either a) having SERIOUS problems that may have been caused by a tragic childhood, b) just an ass who can't take a joke, or c) lying to yourself, me, and the whole universe. It only isn't funny when it happens to you, in which case, these reasons will be dismissed.

-I wanna get something straight. I didn't outright hate Sasuke from the very beginning of the series like some authors. I respected him. He was dope with the whole badass anti-hero shtick that he took on. I even still respected him when he went missing-nin to get power. He still acted pretty badass then. But now he's just fucking insane and gets a power-up pretty much every manga chapter or so. Naruto got Sennin Moodo (Hermit/Sage Mode (and it's ONE power-up)) in about fifty chapters or so. He was cool when he toasted Orochi-pedo's ass. He was cool when he got Taka. He was cool when he fought Itachi (and that was just fucking badass). Then Kishimoto just took his character, and shoved it down the cliff of emo-douchebaggery in a fucking box with wheels. Now he's a whiny bitch and looks like he's gonna fucking cry whenever he speaks of 'Tachi or his clan's death. And let's get another thing straight. He's working with Tobi, who fucking made all this shit happen. So, shouldn't he really be trying to just skin Tobi alive and stick a taxodermied version of his head on his mantle instead of working with him? Kishimoto, the creator of the fucking series, turned the #2 character into a fucking piece of shit. And all the fucking dialogue he makes Naruto say about Sasuke simply pours oil onto the flaming imaginations of the yaoi writers. Now do you see my reason?

-Beer is an acceptable way of saying you're sorry for breaking my shit. Just be ready to buy me a new one of whatever you broke as well.

-Facebook is fucking stupid. I don't care if any of you people reading this think "But Jinso, it helps me connect with people and make new friends." or some shit like that. It helps you make new friends? Bitch, get over yourself. The damn piece of shit calls people you acknowledge on it "friends" but some of them you don't even KNOW in real life. How can they be your friend if you've never fucking met them? Try working out that shit and see if Murphy's Law doesn't rear its ugly fucking head.

-To live is to survive. And to survive is to fight. Thus, to live, you must fight your way through life. That is how I see it. Life is one big fight, and when you go, you make sure they all remember just who the fuck you were, and what you did to make it so.

-Don't think you're the shit just because you did something. There will always be someone stronger than you, and if you let your ego rush to your head when you fight that person, it's gonna be your own damn fault when you die. I tell that I'm a badass and that I'm proclaimed as that by my peers (which is true), but at least I know when to retreat and live to fight again. Don't die for your pride; build yourself up above it.

-I love Mother 3. That game is the tearjerker of the decade, all you fanficers out there. I am honesty gonna state this, right here, right now: the end of Mother 3 nearly brought me to tears. There's not much that can really make me cry, though. Even my brother's ash carn at my church doesn't make me cry when I look at it (it does come close, however). So far, the only things in my life that have ever made me cry were: my best friend's death a few days after we became best buds (he's actually the reason a certain state in the US made a law that you have to be above 12 to sit in the front seat of a car and I was SEVEN at the time), the end of Iroh's part in the episode "The Tales of Ba Sing Se" from Avatar the Last Airbender (that one always gets me no matter what), and a couple of times when my parents and the bitch who calls herself my sister were fighting.

-Victory is not victory when you win by dishonorable means. To have honor means to protect the weak and the innocent, to fight your greatest enemy when you are both at full strength, to die in battle after helping your allies greatly, to go out in a flame so bright that everyone cannot help but look, and to always live by a code of conduct. A true victory in a fair fight is one in which an epic battle is fought to the best of your abilities, and when you win, to give your foe a true death for one of their caliber. If it be a swordfight, when your opponent is beaten, and they deserve an honorable death, you allow them to rise and make it swift, showing the greatest death a swordsman can have: the death of combat. However, if your opponent suddenly plays dirty, the kiddie gloves come off, the brass knuckles come on, and you can do whatever the fuck you want. Just make sure to clean up the blood once you're done.

-Okay, I just want to state my opinion here. And this is MY fucking opinion, so I can say whatever the hell I want. Sakura is a BITCH. A dumbass, shitbrained, abusive, howling-like-a-banshee, fucked up, moronic-as-fuck, no-good, lap-dog fangirl. I fucking hate her. She hits Naruto pretty much every fucking episode, she treated him like dog shit she stepped on in the park, and just blatantly acted like the world's biggest bitch, all because she was Sasuke's fangirl, and didn't like Naruto. She could have just said a polite "No, thank you." when he asked her out, but instead, she bashed him over the head and yelled in his fucking face. And every time she did this, she would immediately turn around and ask Sasuke out, who gave her the same reply she would give Naruto. Now, I don't know about you, but's that's some major bullshit right there. And people STILL think she's a kind, intelligent, beautiful girl? That's just fucked up. She's flat as a fucking surfboard, she screams like a howler monkey, she's abusive, she has a forehead the size of a cornfield, her personality makes me want to kill Kishimoto for ever creating her, and Hinata is a much better match for Naruto.

Some Sakura fans may think "Well, Hinata's a stupid girl who stalked Naruto every day." Well, if you think that, shut the fuck up and listen to my reason! Hinata loved Naruto her entire life, she confessed her love right before DYING for Naruto, which Sakura wouldn't ever even think about, Sakura thinks of Naruto as a consolation prize because she didn't get Sasuke and Naruto RECOGNIZES that, and Naruto's caring and kind, as is Hinata, while Sakura is an abusive bitch. Abusive and kind don't really work out, now do they?! Now this may sound a bit much to some people, but I am a cynic and a realist, so that's how i view it! True, even though Hinata did stalk Naruto and some people may even ask "Why didn't she help him out when they were younger?" Well, think about it; her uncle died because of her father, your cousin despised her, her own father called her worthless just about every day, she was looked down upon by most of her clan, and she nearly got kidnapped to be put in a breeding program at the age of THREE. If that won't make someone shy or uncomfortable in public, then they're a goddamn robot.

-Just another thing here about Sakura: I can (at the very least) barely tolerate Sakura and Naruto being in a relationship if either of two things happen: 1) She is a Sasuke fangirl at first, but grows out of it or 2) She never liked Sasuke in the first place. But there is a must for both if I am to like it: NAruto has a harem. If Naruto has a harem with other women that includes her, I'm fine with it. I'm not a total hater. I can tolerate it if it comes out good. Alright? Just saying.

-My friends may have proclaimed me as a badass, but now I am officially one! On June 5th, 2012, I successfully managed to catch a guy's triple kick, and slam him to the ground, and I do mean SLAM, sending him unconscious in a no holds-barred Taekwondo match WITH MY EYES CLOSED. That's right, no vision, sight, depth perception, whatever the fuck you wanna call it. I did it BLIND. Get on my fucking level and man up!

-I am original. I am not a copy. I am me. I do what I feel like, I kick the ass of whoever disagrees, and I tell anyone who thinks they're better than me for some dumb shit to go shove it up their ass before I stomp a mudhole in it.

-Am I the only badass asshole on Fanfiction that thinks that fangirls should be something that exterminators use their services to get rid of? I better not be! And not the regular fangirls who just like something. I mean the fangirls who are FUCKED UP as all hell!

-Did you know that most of the newer generation doesn't know more than five songs from before the year 2000? Yeah, kind of shows you just how dumb people can be when they only listen to songs that talk about whores and drugs.

-Now, I am insane. I'm just fucking insane. I'm also a badass, and an asshole. And due to that, I have a little me inside my head. He and I argue from time to time, but we get along pretty well. Despite our arguements, we can always agree on one thing. Fangirls are annoying as fuck. I don't mean the regular fangirls, who are just good fans of something. I mean the ones who chase the person they're a fan of, dream of marrying them someday, want kill anyone who dates the person, obsess over them, and dream of raping them. Every time I hear a fangirl squeal, I just want to shoot them. You see, I got some good as fuck hearing. I can hear things that most other people can't. That's part of the reason I put Kitsune in my pen name. Kitsune have really good hearing, like me. I'm also cunning and love pranks. Fight to end the fangirl menace!!

I just had to fucking paste this on my page. It was so hilarious, and yet, at the same time, completely logical. There's a term for that: MINDFUCK. And there's also two phrases to describe the feeling you get after reading it: 1)WTF?! and 2)Holy shit!

The Situation in Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."


Jinso's Code of Conduct

Chivalry: Protect those who you care about. Save the weak and become a hero to the innocent. If anything stands to harm your loved ones, you do not hold back when you come face to face with it. You show that piece of shit just what you're made of and make it think twice about ever trying to harm your loved ones again!

Corollary: If you're a guy, always show women respect. Women are incredibly important in a man's life. A woman can provide you company on a cold night. She can break through even the toughest walls around your heart and warm the ice-cold polygon that's been sitting in your chest for years on end. But most importantly, she can be your lover. If you break down your walls around a woman, you could easily become friends, and possibly even lovers. And if you don't have respect for females, then may Kami have mercy on your poor soul as you fall off Good Guy Mountain and into the pits of Douche-dom, 'cuz if I meet you, I certainly won't.

Power: "With great power comes great responsibility." These are the epic and wise words spoken by Spiderman. It seems a bit cliche, but it's true. If you cannot control your own power, then you shouldn't have it. Strength means nothing if you cannot protect anyone with it. Power is false if it is used to do nothing but harm. You must harness your inner potential and use it to protect, not destroy.

Fear and Regret: If you fear, you cannot do. If you regret, you cannot continue. If you look back sadly at the past, you will miss the chance to make the future. Regret only causes you to hold back, and could be your end. Fearing something will only cause your comrades lives to be put at stake, and if you stand there frozen, then you're about as strong as a newborn baby. As Yoda says, "Do...or do not. There is no try."

Douches and Assholes: The telltale, blaringly obvious signs of a douche are the condescending smirk, the overly-confident eyes, the popped collar, the "holier-than-thou" attitude, the aura of superiority, and worst of all, an ever-loyal posse/cheerleader squad. Example: Gary Motherfucking Oak. He wasn't even really strong until after Johto, and that's when he got serious. He constantly pissed off Ash (who, in my opinion, should have been replaced by the badass we all know as Red), graffitied road signs with messages that simply said "Ash is a loser" (And he's right, you know), and had all the signs of a douche except for the popped collar. Luckily, his douchiness died down after Johto, and that's when he transcended to a Low-Level Badass. Don't EVER, and I repeat, EVER try to outdo a douche, even when you've kicked his/her ass. They will only piss and moan, make excuses, and try to rematch you/make you give up your secrets because they thinks they're better than you.

WARNING: IF said douche has a posse, the posse will yell at you, saying that the douche rightfully deserves all your shit just for being themselves. Prime example: Fanfiction versions of Sasuke Uchiha (Believe me, I ain't belittlin' the real Sasuke here, and only because I respected him up until Kishi made him into a whiny bitch). In many fanfictions, Sasuke Uchiha is portrayed as the ultimate douche, with EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SIGN of asshole status. The popped collar, the "I'm-Kami-so-bow-down" attitude, the condescending smirk, the air of superiority, the overly-confident eyes, and the horribly awful fangirl posse. If Naruto is a badass and/or has awesome shit, Sasuke will either a) Order Naruto to give him the stuff, because he needs it to kill my brother in loving pocky (Itachi), b) Challenge Naruto to a fight, or c) Do both and then bitch to the councils when he gets his ass kicked. Also, never EVER lose to a douche. If you do, he will never let you hear the end of it. Crying over this results in being called a pussy by your peers until the end of time. If that happens, flee the city, state, country, WHATEVER, change your name and appearance, and start a new life.

Introductions: Keep it short, sweet, and simple, but enough to leave a lasting impression. You don't want to let anyone know your big secrets, but you don't want to be a fucking shadow in the back of the room. Just tell your name, and maybe two rules about what's gonna go down with you. (i.e; the beginning of Chapter 20 of my story, Children of the Four Blades. "Listen up! I got two things to say; 1, my name's Aaron, I'm gonna swear no matter what, and that's all you need to know for right now, and 2) if anyone gives me shit, they're gonna regret it, simple as that.") Act how you want people to think of you, and if someone doesn't like it, then fuck them! You are yourself! If anyone says you can't be that, shove a kunai or something up their ass and tell them to go fuck themselves.

Respect: Bitch, don't even get me started. Respect should always be earned, and NEVER given, not for rank, title, inheritance, or political position. If a person wants your respect, and they haven't given you a good reason (example: "I'm an Uchiha, the greatest in the village!"), you tell them three simple words: "Earn it, bitch." If you want to earn respect, you prove you deserve it. Work hard, stay with your morals, be stern when needed, be kind when needed, don't take any bullshit from ANYBODY, and prove your worth through blood, sweat, and tears.

Mercy: Mercy is a different sort of thing. It varies based on who you fight and what they do. For the merciless: You must crush your emotions under your heel and end them, for those those without mercy do not deserve it. For those who show mercy, sometimes it's okay, but you have to be careful. Make sure to do some recon on them. A lot of people in the world are not nice enough to show mercy. That is why sometimes, you must not either.

Trust: Trust is a very big one, and it's a lot like respect. It should ALWAYS be earned. Until the people around you earn your trust, sleep with one eye open, a gun under your pillow, and a knife in hand. You decide who gets your trust and who doesn't. If you decide to trust a complete stranger, that's fine, but most of the time, you'll find a knife in your back, and won't realize that until it's too late.

Beliefs: Stick to good morals. They're what will guide you along through life with a sense of happiness and quality. And as to religions, don't cram your beliefs down someone's throat just because they don't want to follow your religion. It's THEIR fucking choice. You don't like it, then deal with it, bitch.

Moral Compass: At some point in your life, you'll have to choose between ultimately being a good person or an evil person. Now, it's your choice as to which path you want to walk down. But remember, there is NO turning back, and there will always be consequences. Nothing is without sacrifice.


I AM PART OF THE AAF; THE AUTHORS AGAINST FLAMERS!

Flaming is stupid and completely unnecessary! You should only review a story if you like it and/or wish to give constructive criticism! Other than that, FUCK OFF! All flamers may burn in their own personal hells for all I care! Oh, and by the way, every flamer should be reported, because according the the guidelines of reviewing on FanFiction, reviewing like they do is not allowed and the maximum punishment for doing so is removal of your account and stories! Oh, and, if you're a flamer and you're reading this, look at the title of the section right below this one, and read the fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh words in it.


You are a Don't Fuck With Me Seme!

Most compatible with: Badass Uke
Least compatible with: Dramatic Uke, Innocent Uke, Clueless Uke

Japanese Element: Earth

Chinese Zodiac: Tiger

Color: Steel

Fruit: Grapes

Dessert: Dark Chocolate Brownies

Theme Song: Countdown by Hyde


Cyber Bullying is wrong. Those who do it are truly despicable people. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are a cyber bully, if you post hateful messages, if you deliberately say things to hurt others online, you are not welcome here. And if your dumb as hell brain can't understand that, here's simpler words; GO FUCK YOURSELF.

If you fail to understand why Hinata haters exist in such abundance, copy and paste this into your profile

You Say Pink I Say Black

You Say Miley Cyrus I Say SHE SUCKS!
You Say Zac Efron I Say WTF!
You Say Pop I Say Rock
You Say I'm Weird I Say I'm Different XP
PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU AGREE

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

Do you hate Sasuke? Do you believe he should die in a fire? then Join the Sasuke Must Die Coalition of Konohakagure! Just add your name to our member list and post it in your profile to show your pride! Sage of Asgard, Crossoverpairing Lover, Jinso Kitsune-kun

85 percent of writers that do Naruto fanfiction either hate fangirls, or hates Sasuke. If you are part of the 15 percent that hates both, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name to the list! KyuubiWindscar, DragonSaphira, SpartanK11, Drakai, Jinso Kitsune-kun

The Difference Between Friends and Best Friends:

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We fucked up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shittttt!!

Naruto for Rokudaime Hokage! If you also want Naruto to succeed Tsunade as the next Hokage, then copy and paste this to your profile page, and add your name to the list! Help Naruto achieve his dream!: KinKitsune01, Dipstick1214,Thousand Tailed Holy FangFlash, Fallen-Ryu,Hokage of Dragons,Spider-Fox93, Crossoverpairinglover, Jinso Kitsune-kun

THE WE LOVE NARU/HINA CLUB : If you love the idea that Naruto and hinata should hook up copy and paste this to your page and ad your name. Oodama Rasengan, The First Kitsukage, Jinso Kitsune-kun

99.8 of anime fans are obsessing over Naruto. If you are the last few of the clan who can think up to three better animes than this, paste this on your profile. The three are: Bleach, D. Gray Man, and Hellsing. I don't obsess over Naruto. It's just my second favorite anime. The first is actually Bleach, then Naruto, then Hellsing, then Inuyasha. Scratch that...it's now Hellsing, then Inuyasha, then D. Gray Man, then Bleach, then Naruto.

Stupid Racist People...

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me coloured"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!


I'm Sorry

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

If you agree post it on your profile.

If Orochimaru creeps the shit out of you, copy and paste this onto your profile

A ninja waits until the dead of night, when the enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness of the night, that is the moment for a ninja to strike. Copy this into your profile if you're a Ninja!

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to

Come to the dark side... WE HAVE COOKIES!!

But if you are a true Ninja...

Come to the dark side... WE HAVE KUNOICHIS!!!

Unless you piss them off then we have castrations

You have problems if:

you skip/run/walk/jump around your house singing "I love rape"

you randomly jump up from the computer and start dancing from excitement (I agree)

your greatest dream is to have a massive orgy

you stay up half the night doing illegal things

torture/the thought of torture makes you happy/excited/laugh (I agree)

you've ever discussed making a new version of the bible

you wake up in the morning thinking about hurting people (I agree)

you karate chop milk

you think small cartons of juice, small pill bottles, or small screwdrivers are cute.

If you agreed to any of the above, congratulations, you're a little bit as unstable as I am. If you're damn proud of that fact, copy and paste this into your profile.

Hi, my name is Kazu.

I like Writing and I like Athletics.

I am running down the road

I suddenly tripped over.

I come home with a scratch on my knee.

My mummy begins to worry.

I tell her I am fine.

She sighs and says ok.

I am at school.

When suddenly I fall and hit a tree.

I am sent to the sickbay.

Then I am sent home.

Mummy takes me to the doctors.

The doctors tell mummy something.

Mummy starts to cry.

I tell her it's ok.

I'm not going to die.

She tells me I am starting.

Starting to be slower.

I don't know what it means.

But I have become sick.

I tell mummy it's ok.

I will become better.

Mummy starts to cry.

Do I have cancer?

Mummy says no.

Then what do I suppose.

As a year had past.

I struggle to walk.

My speech is getting slower.

It's hard for me to talk.

My friends like to help me.

My classmates like to run.

But I have to sit down.

And watch them have fun.

Then one day my teacher.

Comes to see mummy.

Daddy comes out.

And starts to get all snotty.

The teacher tells my parents.

I can no longer go to school.

My motion is too slow.

I ask the teacher slowly.

I am sorry I am useless.

I start to cry and beg her.

I want to go to school.

The teacher gives a smile.

And tells me she is sorry.

The school cant really help me.

The words were so cruel.

The day I had to leave.

My friends and classmates cried.

The boys upon the windows.

Wave to me goodbye.

I smile and sit in the car.

I am taken to a school.

A school with special people.

Just like me and you.

I start to have some fun.

I made a lot of friends.

As many years passed again.

I talk too slow to understand.

I cannot run anymore.

And I struggle to even stand.

I cannot write in my diary.

My motion is too slow.

Then one day I am sent.

To the hospital again.

Now many years have passed.

I lie in a warm bed.

I cannot move my body.

I cannot move again.

I talk very slowly.

I cannot move my head.

My mummy sits there crying.

My daddy looks depressed.

I ask my mummy sadly.

Am I going to die.

My mother holds my hand.

Yells and starts to cry.

A few more years later.

I have to shut my eyes.

I cannot talk or move.

I seem to have died.

Copy and Paste this story about Kazu who was diagnosed with a rare uncurable disease, Spinocerebellar Degeneration, in your profile. This disease causes a failure of muscle control in their arms and legs, resulting in a lack of balance and coordination or a disturbance of gait. Support and send the message worldwide!

Who Am I?

I am the boy...that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the boy that people look through when I say something. I am the boy that spends most of his free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the boy that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the boy that doesn't spend all his time on MySpace, or talking about cars, girls or sex to his firends. I am the boy that hasn't been asked out in a year...or ever. I am the boy that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the boy who knows and is proud to be who he is, doesn't care if people call him weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express himself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and paste this to your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the people who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone. The First Kitsukage, Jinso-kun

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you think Sasuke Uchiha is a jerkass who needs to die copy and paste this onto your profile.

Fanfiction.Net is a great multiverse span! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile and add thy name; KrspaceT, Crossoverpairinglover, Jinso Kitsune-kun

If you are part of the unanimous club of Sakura-bitch haters, copy and paste this to your profile

If Twilight should go die in a hole, add this to your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you support the "Sasuke and Naruto are NOT Gay" cause, copy and paste this into your profile. Because they are NOT!!

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Olny fteefin prenect of poelpe can raed this. fI you are one fo taht prenect, cpoy and pstae tihs itno yuor porflie.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, put this in your profile.

When someone says trust no one, don't trust them.

If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile

If you have ever laughed out loud when you were thinking something funny and people looked at you with a weird face, copy and paste this into your profile.

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe and God and Jesus Christ is His son...

Then copy and paste this into your profile

If you ignore him, in the Bible, Jesus says..

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my father in Heaven..."

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice, and I kick your sorry ass!

You're just jealous that the creepy voices focus on only me!

The only elephant that ever forgets is the one that doesn't exist.

Whoever came up with the idea that words can't hurt you OBVIOUSLY didn't take into account the fact that dictionary covers are HARD. And made of wood.

When you see a falling star and wish upon it, you might want to wish that it doesn't crush you.

Just because I have the maturity to not be a goofball, it doesn't mean I have to use it.

If you can travel forwards in time when you go faster than light, then how slow would you have to be to go backwards in time?

Everything is better with a banana in your ear!

If you think Masashi Kishimoto is ruining Naruto and agree, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. The Fifth Rider of Armageddon, Hiroshima Namikaze, Zaara the black, desuta, Reikson, D-reaper X-20, blackstardragon624, chinoodin, The Silver Blossom, RasenganFin, Raidentensho, Knives91, Kingkakashi, DarkSamuraiX1999, THE HEE-HO KING, Wirespeed91, Naruto 21, GraityTheWizard, GuyverZero, durwin, Hakkyou no Yami, VFSNAKE, Stormrunner56, Haru Kitsune, DragonMaster4381,Terror of the Azure Flame, RoyalTwinFang,TheDemonKingNaruto, Naruto6023, NarutoTheTrueLegend, Jinso Kitsune-kun

Crazy is staying up all night just to finish watching a series you love. Crazy is wanting to go do some stupid stunt with your friends that you know will probably wind you up in a hospital. Crazy is laughing for no reason in the middle of class. Crazy is not knowing whether or not you're in love. Crazy is wishing you could create a portal to the fiction world so that you could bring back a few- at least- guys to marry. Crazy is yelling at inatimate objects because you think they hate you. Crazy is desroying your toaster because it's mocking you. Crazy is wearing a shoe on your head during both Science and English while eating pizza and reading Across Five Aprils. Crazy is barking back at dogs when they bark at you. Crazy is singing an English rock song in Japanese while speaking in a British accent and contemplating how to torture your enemies--all at the same time. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list.

When life gives you lemons, make cherry soda and watch the world try to figure out just how the fuck that's possible.

40 RULES OF PEWDIEPIE'S BRO ARMY (Post on your profile if you are a bro!)

By Jinso Kitsune-kun (Also known as Jinso Claus during December)

1. ALWAYS trust Stephano. He will guide you to victory.

2. Also trust Gonzalez, Stephano's Mexican cousin.

3. Just remember: Chairmode.

4. Piggeh is wise. He is also very seductive, so don't have a whispering conversation with him.

5. When being chased by The Bro in Amnesia, NEVER look back. He will rape you if you do.

6. Love your Save Stations. LOVE THEM.

7. BARRELS ARE EVIL!!

8. NEVER trust statues.

9. Corridors lead to death. And sometimes rape.

10. Water will be your downfall in Amnesia.

11. Listen to Mr. Chair. Pewdie seems to always forget this one.

12. The boot is mightier than the wooden plank.

13. Chopnese is the language for you.

14. Smashnese is the SECONDARY language for you.

15. If Chopnese and Smashnese don't work, you can also try Deodrinese.

16. Attack the barrels at every chance you get.

17. Don't love Jenifer. Pewdie doesn't, and neither should you.

18. Teleporting naked guys are jerks, so stay away from closets in Amnesia Custom Stories.

19. Bros stick together. NEVER leave a fellow Bro to fight the barrels alone!

20. Ladanadnadum is VERY, VERY guud for you.

21. Red light is never good in Amnesia.

22. Always check behind paintings.

23. NEVER trust a barrel!

24. Fat marshmallow ghosts are fucking annoying.

25. Dolls are EVIL in horror games!

26. Twist Martin's nipples. That is a MUST.

27. Gren is the BEST melee weapon EVER!

28. Fight for Pewdie.

29. Always check in the most random places for clues.

30. Penis monsters are NOT your friends!

31. "Fahkies" is indeed a word.

32. SPIN THE WHEEL!

33. REUBEN!!!! *bang bang bang*

34. Shoggoth is beautiful...on the inside, of course.

35. Dildos solve everything in Scribblenauts Unlimited.

36. Be wary of chests. They sometimes like to ally with the barrels.

37. Don't care if people tell you to stop wasting your lantern.

38. Even the most random solutions can work when solving puzzles.

39. Opening an Iron Maiden is like playing let's make a deal. You have to be careful, because you never know if they contain something good or bad.

40. The Irresponsible Dad is the BEST. PARENT. EVER!



Akatsuki Quiz Thingy!! (YAY! WHOOP WHOOP!)

Pein/Pain - Nagato
[ ] -I am the leader/boss of a group, club, friends etc.
[ ] -I have a piercing/s.
[ ] - My natural hair colour is red, ginger or auburn.
[ ] -My eyes are grey/gray.
[X ] -My closest friend is a girl.
[X] - I'm a very secretive person.
[X] - I like it when it rains.

[Pein/Pain - Nagato Score: 3 ]

Konan
[X] - Most of my friends are guys.
[X] - Origami RULES!
[X] - I know how to make atleast over 5 different origami objects.
] - I love flowers!
[X] - My closest friend is a guy.
[X] - I don't like having my photo taken.
[ ] - I don't like water. Swimming etc.

[Konan Score: 5 ]

Itachi Uchiha
[ ] - My younger sibling/s bothers me a lot.
[X] -Many people find me attractive.
[X] - I'm quiet and very mature for my age.
[X] - I don't actually like fighting though I can fight.
[X] - I don't care what you think, Kisame is cool.
[X] - I'm the top of my class. Intelligence.
[ ] - My natural hair colour is black.

[Itachi Uchiha Score: 5 ]

Kisame Hoshigaki
[X] - Sharks are AWESOME!
[X] - I like gore :3
[ ] - I dislike my own appearance. I'm ugly!:(
[X] - Underwater in the ocean is abeautiful scenery.
[X] - Once someone gets to know me, I'm a pretty nice person. (and random!! XD)
[ ] - I'm the tallest of my friends who are the same gender.
[ ] - I like water sports.

[Kisame Hoshigaki Score: 4]

Sasori
[ ] - I look young for my age. (I'm the opposite)
[ ] - Puppets are fascinating...
[X] - I'm very impatient.
[X] - I hate that bitch, Sakura Haruno.
[ ] - My Grandma annoys me.
[ ] - I'm the smallest of my friends.
[ ] - Loud noises/people annoy me.

[Sasori Score: 2 ]

Deidara
[X] - I'm an artist.
[X] - I like and appreciate art.
[ ] - My natural hair colour is blonde/dirty blonde.
[X] - I have blue eyes. (blue/grey)
[ ] - I'm the youngest in my group of friends.
[ ] - I hate Tobi.
[X] - I have a 'friend' who follows and annoys me.

[Deidara Score: 4 ]

Kakuzu
[X] - I'm a saver, not a spender.
[X] - My eyes are either green or hazel.
[X] - I have had stitches.
[ ] - I hate Hidan.
[ ] - Younger people tend to tick me off.
[ ] - I am the oldest in my group of friends.
[X] - My skin is dark or tanned.

[Kakuzu Score: 4 ]

Hidan
[X]I have a cussing/swearing problem.
[ ] - I hate Kakuzu.
[ ] - I hate so many people and hate them so much, that I probably have my own hit-list.
[X] - I am religious.
[X] - I am very strong-willed.
[X] - I have cut myself on purpose before. (bet I could give myself a papercut...)
[ ] - I'm very prone to accidents.

[Hidan Score: 4 ]

Zetsu
[ ] - I have a split personality. Two sides.
[X] - Nature is AWESOME!
[X] - I'm usually alone.
[X] - I don't mind the company of others.
[ ] - I don't have many friends.
[X] - Tobi is not that bad.
[X] - I WON'T eat the veggies! Meat all the way, man!

[Zetsu Score: 5 ]

Tobi
[X] - I'm always hyperactive.
[X] - I have a particular person who I like to pester.
[ ] - People often mistake me for someone else or say I look like someone.
[X] - I LOVE the colour orange.
[ ] - I'm rarely sad and always optimistic.
[X] - TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! :D (when he shuts up)

[Tobi Score: 4 ]

Orochimaru
[ ] - I'm attracted to younger people.
[ ] - I have a very pale skin colour.
[X] - Snakes are AWESOME!
[ ] - I love/like Sasuke Uchiha.
[X] - Micheal Jackson is AWESOME!
[X] - I'm very motivated, nothing will stop me from reaching my goals.
[ ] - People think I'm twisted or insane.

[Orochimaru Score: 3 ]

So I'm a three way tie between Itachi, Konan, and Zetsu?...Hmm...Ok, I can't imagine my self with breasts. -_-



THE
NARUTARD SURVEY! NARUTARDS UNITE!!!

1. Who is your favourite Naruto character(s)?
Sasori, Nagato, Itachi, Naruto, Minato Namikaze, Kirabi (Killer Bee), and Anko...

2. What is your favorite pairing?
Damn, I never really thought about it. I like almost every pairing. Not gay ones, mind you.

3. Are you a naruto yaoi or hentai fan?
Hentai. As it is known, I am not gay. Sorry, but don't ask me for a date if you have a penis.

4. Ever cosplayed naruto characters? if so, who, where and how many times?
Nope but i might be Kiba, Hidan, or Kakashi (badass perv, HELL YEAH!)

5. List your collection of naruto junk and merchendise, if any.
I have my own headband that I made myself (currently drying because of gluestick), and my own paper shuriken (1)!

6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a Naruto character? If so who?
I feel that I might be destined to be with Anko...I mean, she and I have almost everything in common...STUPID PEDO-SNAKE!! DAMN YOU TO THE SWEATY PITS OF MY OVERWEIGHT FRIEND!!

7. Naruhina or Kibahina?
NaruHina. I changed my mind about Kiba. Naruto and Hinata are meant to be together. Kiba's a horny mutt that would hump a stoma if it had tits and an ass. (WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T FUCKING GOOGLE THE WORD "STOMA"!! (If you do, I am in no way responsible for the psychological scarring you will receive and I have God as my witness!)) And if any NaruSaku fans come here, bitching that I'm wrong, I've got a silver katana that's itching for blood.

8. Sasusaku or Sasunaru?
SasuNaru. The only reason I'm saying this is 'cuz I'd rather Sasuke be gay than be in love with the pink pile of ballast. I AM NOT GAY, however.

9. Which team is your favourite?
The Akatsuki team. =3

10. Do you support the Tobito theory? (Tobi=Obito)
I used to not agree...but now that Kishimoto used fanfiction theory to make it happen, I have to just accept it...

11. Do you support the 'Yondaime is naruto's father' theory?
DURRRRR YEA!

12. Your favourite Akatsuki member?
Zetsu. He doesn't get much love. If I were him, I would to be able to eat someone without having the police after me! HELLZ YEASH!!

13. Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke?
ANTI-SAS-UKE!! I CAN'T BELIEVE PEOPLE WOULD ACTUALLY STILL LIKE HIM!

I respected the kid at first, 'cuz he had a badass aura around him, but now he's just fucking terrible.

...I mean, come ON!

1) He's a fucking psycho with a fetish for power who joined a gay (nothing against gays or lesbians, in fact, I think that if someone wants to marry the same sex, they should do it, government and others' opinions be damned!) pedophile who WANTED HIM FOR HIS BODY (key phrase right there) for power so he could kill his brother and prove that he is "perfect", then be on his merry fucking way to rebuild his clan with women who he thought would throw themselves at him like prostitutes (nothing against prostitutes, 'cuz I know some of them have to do it) and bear his children all because of his fucking clan status?! Shoot me if I'm wrong, but isn't a clan MORE than ONE person? So honestly, he's got no clan; he's a 'clan-less weakling' as he calls Naruto in some fanfics. He earned my respect, and still had it when he left Konoha, but now he's just fucking lost it and will never get it back.

2) He's ignored everyone around him and is a complete ass.

3) He's got a pole up his ass, which can probably be atrributed to being gay, a masochist, and an uke all in one (nothing against all three).

and

4) His name is a contradiction to #3.

His name means LESBIAN, which states that he likes girls. I prefer to think that the word "lesbian" doesn't just apply to women. If it means that they "like girls", aren't all heterosexual men technically 'lesbians'?...

I digress...Next question!

14. have you seen all Naruto episodes so far? (including Shippuuden and fillers)
Four words: Fillers. Are. Pure. Hell.

15. Have you read all the chapters so far?
YES!

16. Do you believe Naruto has ADD?
HELLZ YES!!

17. Sub or dub?
SUB! Dub voices sound retarded!

18. Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura?
ANTI THE BITCHES ASSS!

19. Tobi = annoying or funny?
Both. DEATH BY SUFFOCATION...

20. Do you even know who Tobi is?
YES. It's secret.

Tobi: TOBI WANTS A HUG!

Me: AHHH! FUCK!! *throws holy water at Tobi*

Tobi: NUU! Tobi is melting! Why Jinso-senpai, WHY?!?!

21. Gai= sexy beast or ugly nerd?
NERD. NO FUCKING ARGUMENTS.

22. Which character would be the best crossdresser?
The only characters in the entire series able to pull that off are Haku and Deidara! Well, Naruto could if he used his sexy jutsu...Maybe not...

23. Rock Lee = weird or awesome?.
Both. TOO MUCH YOUTH.

Lee: YOUTH!! YOSH!!

Me: *smacks Lee on the head* Stop it. That's annoying.

24. Which character would be best OOC(Out of Character)? who and how?
Pein/Nagato, it would be hilarious to see him shriek in a girly way at the mention of Madara...Muahaha...Pein, I have plans for you...

25. Do you like naruto fanfics?
YES. But they would have to have punctuation, and have a good plot. That's right, I'm looking at all you out there who are five years old in terms of their grammar, punctuation, and even their damn plot sequence.

26. Do you write naruto fanfics?
LOL yeah...

27. Do you like lemons?
I like them, but I don't go searching everyday because I have no social life.

28. Do your parents know any naruto characters?
No. They just think I'm blabbering like I do everyday because I'm insane, but in the good way.

29. Have you watched the Naruto Abridged Series?
YES! Gaara...of the Funk.

*colored lights flash all around*

*beatboxes* Uncha, uncha, uncha, uncha,

GAARA OF THE FUNK!

30. Have you seen The naruto Ultimate Fanflashes?
YEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!

31. Have you ever got someone else hooked on Naruto?
NO but my friends already are.

32. Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and have someone recognize it?
Naw...

33. Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and the teacher comes up to you and says "wtf is this?"
No but if so I would start explaining Naruto, and then the teacher would go "WTF?"

34. Has Naruto affected your school life and grades?
Not really. Though I like to think that if someone pisses me off, I could shout, "Jashin-sama will have your blood while you sleep!" at said jerk.

35. Are you broke thanks to Naruto?
NO...

36. Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise?
I just want to read it to see what all the hype's about.

37. Do you support the 'yondaime is the akatsuki leader' theory?
I already know it's Madara. Or rather, Tobi. I'm not dumb. Or dumb at all, really.

38. Do you draw naruto fanart? If so, count how many there is in your gallery.
None.

39. Is Sasuke still sexy in his second stage of the cursed seal?
I'M A GUY, AND I'M NOT GAY! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK?!

I'm not bi, either.

40. Do you have any Naruto OCS?
Yeah, Lets see...

-Aaron (Hiroshi Uchiha)

-May (Maya Hyuga)

-Rich (Rishi Uzumaki)

-Jak (Fuyuki)

-Chiemi

-Cryptus (EXTREMELY BAD GUY (LIKE, "TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND CRUSH IT LIKE A BUG" BAD GUY))

-Drelgo (side character and elf)

-Arthrun (side character and elf)

-Bracus (see Arthrun and Drelgo's explanations)

-Kendrel (see above)

-Illyon (a god (Aaron is his reincarnation))

-The Stranger (ULTIMATE BAD GUY (HE'S FUCKIN' EVIL!! AHHH!))

-Arine (belongs to Kay'baka-chan (who is now known as Minichae))

-Hansuke (formerly Cryptus, but is now a good guy)

-Kikyo (An angel)

-Ranea (Another angel)

-Kurotama (One of Aaron's four children)

-Kagizdume (Another of Aaron's four children)

-Te-ru (One of Aaron's four children (Aaron's only hanyou child))

-Kinu (One of Aaron's four children (Is also his only daughter))

-Bracxious (Aaron's real father)

-Jinso (somewhat in-story persona/side character)

Damn, that's a long list!

41. Looking back at some of your answers, do you think naruto has taken over your life?

YES AND FOREVER IT WILL BITCHES! XD



REPOST IF YOU THINK STEREOTYPING IS WRONG AND BOLDFACE THE ONES THAT APPLY TO YOU

I'm EMO sometimes, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I'm JAMAICAN, so I must smoke weed.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I take ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST work at a casino.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister. (I hate Abercrombie and Hollister!)

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a stuck up whore.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or Emo.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be an untrustworthy, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big peter.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I have straight A's, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. (I don't give a fuck about attention! I'm just being original instead of you morons who used 'YOLO' as an excuse to get drunk, high, smoke, and/or make an ass of myself in public!)

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.

I 'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.

I'm a STONER, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.

I'm a GAMER, so I MUST have no life.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon and fried chicken.

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don’t like the SUN, so I MUST worship Satan.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I'm WICCAN, so I MUST worship the devil.

I'm Welsh, so I MUST hump a sheep.

I'm SINGLE, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST not be important.

I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST be in a cult.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST NOT have indoor plumbing.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend

I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirt (It's actually called a kilt)

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST be going to Hell. (I already know I'm going there when I die, but it won't be because I support gays!)

I'm an EGYPTIAN, so I MUST be a TERRORIST!

I'm WHITE and have black friends, so I MUST think I'm black

I'm a BRUNETTE GUY, so I MUST always be serious (All my readers know that is a load of bullshit!)

I'm an AMERICAN, so I MUST NOT care about anything that doesn't concern America

I'm an AMERICAN, so I MUST be a racist

I'm an AMERICAN, so I MUST NOT give a damn about the environment



Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long but
I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me you could
definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive
outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too and I cry with you
even though you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers
and toes and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this
(JUST REPOST IT, CUZ IF YOU DON'T YOU'RE A HEARTLESS (...)!)



Re-post this if you believe homophobia(I believe homophobia is hate or fear against homosexuals) is wrong. Please do your part to end it(Copy this and what's below).

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.



My name is Molly

I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,

I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long

When I awake
I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound,
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.

I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.

He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Molly
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Murdered me.

child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

Now you have two choices

1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart

(C'MON, ARE YOU HEARTLESS??? T.T)



Her dad was a drunk

Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"Please God, why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
And the poor child was beaten
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrust the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dieing
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
Then quickly barged in
Everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

(same as before, DON'T BE HEARTLESS!)



REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):
1. We have cookies!
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh!
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guy!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life
7. Money Money Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?
8. Does there have to be a reason? The dark side is fun! *Flails arms*



If you hate Justin Bieber, then copy and paste this on to your profile and add your name to the list:

deathtobieber

NinjaTerra

alexisshadow101

mew luna and mew zoey

Livvykitty

DutchyPuppy

Jinso Kitsune-kun

Join the Anti-Bieber Club! We need your support.



Favorite OC's Profile:

( alhdkalsd = chosen option (if one is needed by usage of an "or"))

Name or Preferred Name: Aaron

Nicknames/Aliases: Illyon, Aaron, Hiroshi

Age: In past life: 2500- 3250in current life: human years: 35; elf years: 105

Height: 5'8"

Gender: Male

Appearance: Black, scraggy hair, somewhat like a mix of Sasuke and Itachi's, fair skin, blue-green eyes in which the irises are split between the two colors, has a near-perpetual smirk or sometimes a grin, and normally wears blue jeans and a black tee.

Personality: Fun, caring, a little bit sadistic sometimes, but gets deadly serious when shit hits the fan, and it's time to kick ass and take names. Also has an "I love to fuck with your mind" side.

Likes: Sake (on occasion), swords, dango, pad thai, martial arts (especially taekwondo), jalapenos (Yummy!), wolves, and blowing shit to the moon. Also coffee, pickles, and weapons in general.

Dislikes: Orochimaru, the Ageul (explained in All the Birds of Akatsuki), emos, Spanish soda (not to be mean, but that stuff tastes like shit!), jerks (as in arrogant a-holes), womanizers, and perverts.

Anime/Manga: Naruto

Favorite Quote(s): "Is that a challenge?"

Random Information: Aaron has written a book which became the second best seller in the Elemental Nations, next to Icha Icha, about unlocking your true power. He has also written a poetry book that has become #1. So suck on that, Jiraiya!



You are a Gold Dragon!

Your Inner Dragon is the most honorable of all. Golds are the third rarest of all the dragons (after Platinum and Chromatic dragons) and have a station in society that reflects their rarity. You are what one might call a Draconic Knight. Golds live by a strict code of chivalry and commitment. Remember Draco? Yep, Gold Dragon. Your appearance is fearsome and all-mighty but you'd never stoop so low as to bring any harm to a human. As a matter of fact, that's strictly contrary to your code of conduct. You're one of only two dragon types that is aligned "Lawful Good" and is proficient in the use of magic and spells. If you're curious, the other is Platinum, the King of the Dragons. Your piety, beauty, wisdom, and inner strength are absolutely without parallel.

But of course, being a Gold Dragon isn't all high ethics and codes. You like to fly around scaring things, advise humans in their affairs, and shapeshift. Strike that, you LOVE to shapeshift. And you're great at it. In fact, if you're a Gold on the inside, you might be a Gold on the outside, too - just in human form. Your favorable attributes are honor, chivalry, truth, kindness, gold, mining, protection, wisdom, bravery, and trustworthiness. You might be a bit too trusting of humans at times, but they're just kids compared to you. If anyone threatens your humans or tries to kill you, you could strike back with your breath weapon - Fire. But then, no one's tried anything that stupid in the last couple thousand years. After all, you're about 54 feet long.



Laws of Anime: They Are Awesome.

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity

The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differentiated Gravitation

Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics

In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion

In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion

The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability

Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality

'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways - either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality

It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis

Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

#10 - Law of Dramatic Multiplicity

Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

#11 - Law of Inherent Combustibility

Everything explodes. Everything.

First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.

Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12 - Law of Phlogistatic Emission

Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13 - Law of Energetic Emission

There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14 - Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude

The destructive potential of any object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.

First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15 - Law of Inexhaustibility

No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16 - Law of Inverse Accuracy

The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Storm trooper Effect) Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.

First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.

Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.

Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers.

#17 - Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability

Minmei is a bimbo.

#18 - Law of Hemoglobin Capacity

The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19 - Law of Demonic Consistency

Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt bladed weapons.

#20 - Law of Militaristic Unreliability

Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

First Corollary - Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21 - Law of Tactical Unreliability

Tactical geniuses aren't...

#22 - Law of Inconsequential Undetectability

People never notice the little things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23 - Law of Juvenile Intellectuality

Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

#24 - Law of Americanthropomorphism

Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.

First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect)

Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

#25 - Law of Mandibular Proportionality

The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26 - Law of Feline Mutation

Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:

1) be female
2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any

#27 - Law of Conservation of Firepower

Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

#28 - Law of Technological User-Benevolence

The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29 - Law of Melee Luminescence

Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30 - Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism

All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31 - Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability

Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

#32 - Law of Follicular Permanence

Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#33 - Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics

ANY* shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

#34 - Law of Probable Attire

Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.

Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).

Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably wear a long cloaks that don't hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.

First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.

Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

#35 - Law of Musical Omnipotence

Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on...especially if they have never attempted these things before.

#36 - Law of Quintupular Agglutination

Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid

Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation

#37 - Law of Extradimensional Capacitance

All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.

First Corollary (a.k.a. The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38 - Law of Hydrostatic Emission

Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39 - Law of Inverse Attraction

Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get, and vice versa.

First Corollary - Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

#40 - Law of Nasal Sanguination

When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41 - Law of Xylolaceration

Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

#42 - Law of Juvenile Omnipotence

Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43 - Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia

There is no Law #43.

#44 - Law of Nominative Clamovocation

The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

#45 - Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis

Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

#46 - Law of Flimsy Incognition

Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives

#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some
unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or
spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind
the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or
burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later,
your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,
wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s)
to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and
letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in
part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will
get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform
magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as
the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will
help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff Sniff

#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY
small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).
Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.

#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and
the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack
are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave
Phenomenon")

52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
(usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or
perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons
for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.

#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,
etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying
pan or something.

#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power
weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons
will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.
First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome
which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use
it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military
device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just
"fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.

#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me
look.
A negative charge will result in the
hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate
when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7
for speaker pods)

#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.
(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing
girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot
couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)

#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract,
except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single
drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
few... of even the one.

#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall
to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually
helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can
sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the
guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)

#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater
than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse
coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least
500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to
normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also
inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all
actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot
from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb.
of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a
mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing
this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be
increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does
not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads
to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by
an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.

#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through
means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which
clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant
Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at
will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and
lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or
disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not
always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where
the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of
Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding
increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually
come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in
Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly
and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often
referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain
activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in
slow motion.

#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at
another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an
interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of
Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and
65)

#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the
wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages
will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking
sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the
edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly
past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime
characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and
exposition),
Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a
position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around
him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the
elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)

#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
capable of dealing with it.

#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with
your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just
doesn’t work in real life...

#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a
shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain
is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole
(horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
you’re normally a klutz.

#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
Hentai anime is to start having sex.

#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
possible.
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the
hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he
is wrong and will invariably be toasted.

#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could
accomplish... but his old teacher did!

#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see
Laws #67, 69, and 84)

#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won
against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they
tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.
Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
b) Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toasted.

#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.

#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water,
rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling
themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.

#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the
size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
characteristics:
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and
up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive
vagina.

#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them
introducing themselves.

#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a
Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the
male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following
him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by
a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal,
real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal
that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.

#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like
bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though
they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the
Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime
girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is,
but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the
skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never
experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also
known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human
relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage
begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it
from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko
Thing")

#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being
immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)

#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
spaceborne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
6) Homophobicness
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

#99- Law of Sparklines- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said
character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love.
No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At
least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...

#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.


Jinso Kitsune-kun's Quote Board of Epicness

"Witch King: You fool. No man can kill me. Die now.

Eowyn: I am no man." -Last Words of the Witch King, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

“Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,

Seven for the Dwarf-lords in halls of stone,

Nine for Mortal Men, doomed to die,

One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne

In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,

One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.” -J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

"You cannot pass! I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Anor. The dark fire will not avail you, Flame of Udun! Go back to the shadow. You shall not pass!" -Gandalf the Grey, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

"I think that T-rex hallucination was onto something." -Scoutmaster Lumpus, Camp Lazlo

"Whatever happens, happens."-Spike Spiegel, Cowboy Bebop

"Stand up and walk forward." -Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist

"Any questions so far?

Yeah, why does your drawing suck so bad?" -Rukia and Ichigo, Bleach

"I'm hungry." -Goku, Dragon Ball Z

"That day...all female officers will be required to wear...TINY MINISKIRTS!!!" -Roy Mustang, Fullmetal Alchemist

"Foolish little brother...if you want to kill me...despise me, hate me...Run...run...cling to life...and survive in an unsightly way...Foster your hatred...Then someday...when you have these same eyes...come to me." -Itachi just before putting Sasuke in Tsukiyomi, Naruto

"You don't fight to win...You fight to not lose..." -Vegeta, Dragon Ball Z

"Hughes: Hey, I've got a message from Roy.

Ed:The colonel?

Hughes: He said,' Don't die under my command, you're enough of a pain without the paperwork.' That was it.

Ed: Tell him, Fine, there's no way I'm dying before you, you morally bankrupt colonel with a god complex." -Edward and Hughes, Fullmetal Alchemist

"Dog huh?...I LOVE DOGS!!" -Roy Mustang, Fullmetal Alchemist

"We are just ordinary people driven to revenge in the name of justice, but if revenge is called justice then that justice breeds yet more revenge... and becomes a chain of hatred." -Pein, Naruto

"That was so terrible I think you gave me cancer!" -Calculon, Futurama

"If you get glitter on you prepare to have it on you forever, because glitter is the herpes of craft supplies." -Dimitri Martin

"I've got half a mind to kill you, and the other half agrees." -Unknown

“I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: ‘Cover for me.’ Number 2: ‘Oh, good idea, Boss!’ Number 3: ‘It was like that when I got here.’” -Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

"Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse." -Unknown

"Sarcasm is the body's natural defense against stupidity." -Unknown

"I'll have you know that there's a fine intersection between insanity, sanity, stupidity, and bravery, and it's the cross between Society Avenue and Label Road. Lucky for me, I live in Otaku Nation, far from those dumbass places." -Me, when asked just what the hell is wrong with me

"You should never avert your eyes from death, never look away from the lives you have taken. And you should never forget the people that you have killed, because I can assure you they will never forget you." -Solf J. Kimblee, Fullmetal Alchemist

"There is no such thing as overkill...only open fire and reload..." -Shirt I once read

"I'll give you five seconds to guess a two-word action that I'd do to you if I had a gun. Hint: It starts with shoot, and ends with you." -Me to a friend who spilled my beer.

"I hear you making noises, but all I see is a bull's shit being spewed from that dank hole you call your mouth." -Me to the friend mentioned right above

"You are weak...Why are you so weak?...Because...you lack hatred..." -Itachi just before putting Sasuke in Tsukiyomi for the second time, Naruto

"Lance: We just crawled through a tree. I did NOT sign up for this.

Natalie: Isn't nature great?" -Lance and Natalie, Epic Battle Fantasy 3

"Natalie: Oh no, a puzzle area. We're too stupid to figure this out.

Lance: I concur. Do you concur?

Matt: I concur." -Natalie, Lance, and Matt, Epic Battle Fantasy 3

"Chris: I think I've figured out the history behind this place! In prehistoric times, an alien monolith was uncovered by a race of no-legged cats. This monolith triggered a change in their DNA, causing them to gain intelligence rapidly, using tools and building societies.

Chris (when you talk to him right after his previous statement): All the evidence is right here. See how their bones lie scattered around those big stone slabs? They worshiped them and their genes began to evolve.

Matt (deadpans): I think the monoliths in this place just vapourised anything that touched them." -Matt and NPC, Epic Battle Fantasy 3

"Natalie: I'm starting to think I preferred it back in the snowy valley. Waaay too hot around here.

Lance (with a blush): Take your top off!

Natalie: W-what!?

Lance: Who said that? Wasn't me." -Natalie and Lance, Epic Battle Fantasy 3

"Power, sex; Sex, power; They both come down to one thing; fucking others." -The Witcher

"Everybody deals with grief in different ways, right? Some people fuck at funerals. I cut off heads." -Travis Touchdown, No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle

"Life... Dreams... Hope... Where do they come from? And where do they go...? Such meaningless things... I'll destroy them all!" -Kefka Palazzo, Final Fantasy VI

"Something in your brushwork touches the heart, Issun. You never abandoned your life as an artist after all. When one tries to master something, it ends in either success or failure. But it is in the attempt itself where you find the true value. Believe in your own power and walk your own path." -Oki just before the final battle, Okami

"He did it! My grandson did it! Look at the spirit behind this beautiful brushwork! He truly deserves the title of Celestial Envoy! It's work like this that can show the true glory of the gods and guide people to the right path. There's one thing I'm sure of, Amaterasu. You've found a much better companion than I could ever be!" -Ishaku just before the final battle, Okami

"Issun... I see you have finally heeded your calling. Your resolve is plain to see in your drawing. It has the power to move peoples' hearts and inspire their faith in the gods! Amaterasu, their faith shall be your power!" -Queen Otohime just before the final battle, Okami

"Extraordinary. You stand as a paragon of your kind, human. You fight like no man or demon I have ever known. Though this is not the end. My hate..never perishes. It is born anew in a cycle with no end! I will rise again! Those like you... Those who share the blood of the goddess and the spirit of the hero... They are eternally bound to this curse. An incarnation of my hatred shall ever follow your kind, dooming them to wander a blood-soaked sea of darkness for all time!" -Last words of Demise, Skyward Sword

"Question: Explain Newton's First Law of Motion in your own words.

Calvin (writing): Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz.

Calvin: I love loopholes." -Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes

"It's that moment of dawning comprehension that I live for." -Hobbes, Calvin and Hobbes

"Welcome to the desert of the real." -Morpheus, The Matrix (1999)

"I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You're a plague and we are the cure." -Agent Smith, The Matrix (1999)

"The first matrix I designed was quite naturally perfect. It was a work of art. Flawless. Sublime. A triumph only equaled by its monumental failure." -The Architect, The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

"Agent Smith: Mr. Anderson. Welcome back, we missed you.

[Agent Smith pauses and looks around at the multitude of clones he has created]

Agent Smith: Like what I've done with the place?

Neo: It ends tonight.

Agent Smith: I know it does, I've seen it. That's why the rest of me is just going to enjoy the show because we already know that I'm the one that beats you." -Agent Smith and Neo, The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

"ARMSTRONG!!! (Armstrong jumps down) I said my sword was a tool of justice. Not used in anger. Not used for vengeance. But now... Now I'm not so sure. And besides... this isn't my sword."

-Raiden before the final battle of Metal Gear Rising Revengeance

"I dream of someday having a pet Balrog named Cujo who I can take for a walk by riding on his head and can ride on to get to work on time every weekday. That would be AWESOME! Well, that and being able to use the power of the universe/the Force to be able to do anything I want." -Me


The Legend of the Hero

Prologue

Legends have been told of that person,

The hero who rushed into battle,

Those who were once heroes,

And even those who were his mortal enemies, beside him,

In a quest to save the world.


Act I

They traveled through many dangerous lands,

Facing enemies of untold strength,

And unseen perils along the way.

The gift of the gods is with the heroes,

For they are blessed to save us all.

Act II

Many mighty foes they came across,

And many times,

Their lives were nearly lost.

As the world continued into ruin,

The heroes continued their quest as best they could.

Act III

Near the end of their journey,

They were betrayed by one of their own,

A comrade they all trusted,

And believed in as well,

Whom they thought was on their side,

Was working for the other.

Act IV

The final battle approached on the horizon,

The fight that would determine the fate of the world,

Which had plunged into chaos.

The hero's comrades and former enemies,

All hostage to the evil king who had enslaved the world.

The hero took forth his mighty blade,

Which shone with the brightness of a thousand suns,

And started the battle.

Act V

The two forces clashed

With unearthly strength.

The fight of good and evil,

Who would win?

At long last, the end was near

As the hero and the villain called upon their patron gods for power and strength.

The god of light and good, Illyon,

And the god of darkness and evil, Renda,

Granted their champions the powers they wished,

And the last blows were struck.

Act VI

The hero of light gained the power of the heavens,

While the champion of darkness gained the consuming strength of the void.

When all hope had seemed lost,

As the evil king's corruption branched towards the hero,

A voice rang out in the hero's mind.

"Protect those who you love; who you fight for!

Do not give up! Never give in!

Drawing on the power of his bonds,

The hero sacrificed himself and destroyed the evil king as well,

Ending the world's ruin, and beginning the age of prosperity.

Epilogue

And to this day, the Hero's blade stands proudly at his grave,

On the hill where he made his final stand,

The red cloth of freedom gently swaying in the breeze from its hilt.

Whether you believe this story,

Or you think it be myth,

Remember this;

This is the legend of the hero.

THE END

(To learn about The Legend of the Hero, read chapter 8, as well as the upcoming chapter 10, of Children of the Four Blades)

Honorary Member of The Book of Log

If you worship the holyness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile... although you may want to change the comments

Position: Log Worshipper

Possible Book of Log Positons:

Log Worshipper: Beginning position. No requirements

Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapers) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story

Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log

OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews

OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid.

Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. c-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, a-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. even then, it is still reccommended.

Log excerpt number 231: if konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that shinobi is uneligible from using the log for a period of two months.

Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:

For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling.

For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five
saplings.

For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten
saplings.

For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall
plant one sapling per square inch of detached log.

For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant
twenty-five saplings.

If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If
your case is proven correctly your next replacement will be half off.

'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost i weep? 'tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. the log ist thine ally, and mine kin. calling upon the log, is to call upon me. to aid thee in battle, i weep my tear of joy.
and the ninja spoke: yea, thee and thine kin shall forever be blessed among me and mine kin. for thine bravery will never be forgotten.'
-book of the log, song of the willow, verses 1-4

'as the log takes your place, you become the log. the log becomes you. for a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.'
-book of the log, chronicle of the replacement verse 3

'you are fools! your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. and the people shook their heads.
you have been denied the log for a long time, sandwalker. we cannot force you to see the glory of the log, but know this. when the time comes, and you have no other allies to call upon, the log will hear your prayers, and aid you.'
-book of the log, redwood journals verses 15-16

'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. blackened and charred, the log crumbled. the ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. he made his way to the log, and wept. his companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. he spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. the forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. i thank you my friend.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle I, verses 78-82

'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none.
-book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9

'the log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. for many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. as his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. his stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: why did you endanger yourself for me again? have you not done enough for me? and the log spoke: it is my duty, and our bond. we exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. we both play a part, for which i am content.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle II, verses 59-70

Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the holy log.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. Every time I watch anime, I start to speak with my Inner self. He tends to make perverted comments about every anime woman with large breasts. (Hey, large breasts are nature's way of saying 'Come at me, bro!') True, very true...

Pluto was declared a planet no longer on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists’ likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. In the immortal words of Raywilliamjohnson..."And never say Pluto ain't a planet, goddammit!"

If your parents have ever told you that you weren't normal, and are proud of it copy this to your profile.

If you have an annoying younger--or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile. I have two older sisters...And I'm a dude!

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. If I get just one review, I start tossing virtual cookies left, right, and center! DODGE AND WEAVE, BITCHES!


My favorite Naruto character is: ANKO MITARASHI!! Don't think I'm perverted. I'm actually very much like her. I like the taste of blood, I'm crazy, I'm a little sadistic, I like cutting things, I LOVE messing with people, and my hair is a little spiky.

Link to my drawing of Aaron from All the Birds of Akatsuki:http://ikickyourbutt20.deviantart.com/#/d4sj3pm

Link to drawing of Arine from all the Birds of Akatsuki:http://twindragonz.deviantart.com/art/OC-Himawari-Arine-254687575

Link to my drawing of the Hisōzōsha from all the Birds of Akatsuki: http://ikickyourbutt20.deviantart.com/#/d47p0m8

Link to my cover art for COFB: http://ikickyourbutt20.deviantart.com/art/COFB-Cover-Art-306488782


A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93% of the people that read this won't repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God, or a god.

NOTE: I used to be Jinso-kun, but now I am Jinso Kitsune-kun! Why, you ask? The Kitsune part makes me feel more comfortable and at home, that's why!

IMPORTANT NEWS!! (As of 4/26/13)

IT HAS HAPPENED!! I have FINALLY, after about 7 MONTHS of getting my muse back in my head (and giving Jin a MAJOR kick in the ass for booting him out), uploaded chapter 11 of DOEG!! Though it is not a main storyline chapter (as my muse is working on removing the mental roadblock known as my Writer's Cockblock), it gives a backstory to Jinso's past before the beginning of DOEG, as well as answer an...unusual question Amaterasu has for her lover. R&R!

-Jinso Kitsune-kun

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Self Insert agency by BlackDragonFlame reviews
Kim struggles to define a new image for herself as she stumbles into her new job, where she has to travel to different worlds. "So your asking me to go into a video game franchise to stop some guys from basically screwing over the whole universe?" "That's correct." "You got yourself a new employee." Self insert with "changes." AU real world. Oc submission closed till part 2.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 33 - Words: 171,711 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 1/28/2014 - Published: 1/29/2012 - Link
Twilight Princess truth or dare by ToonLink13 reviews
If you review this you can have twilight princess characters do a dare or answer a question. First fic no flames! mostly LinkXMidna.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,559 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/31/2013 - Published: 8/9/2011 - Link, Midna, Lanayru
WHO DID IT? by Inuyonas reviews
Hinata jumped up on the table and pointed out at the crowd of people much like Naruto did in the Chuunin exams. "FESS UP! WHO DID IT?" She screamed.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 44 - Words: 44,155 - Reviews: 640 - Favs: 241 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 8/25/2013 - Published: 4/25/2010 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Hell Sharingan V2 by The Fifth Rider of Armageddon reviews
Naruto dies during the Wave mission and makes a deal with the Shinigami to get a second chance at life. After his rebirth he finally learns what a true shinobi is. Naruto Naruxharem. This is the rewrite, trust me this will be much better than the first.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 104,375 - Reviews: 725 - Favs: 1,359 - Follows: 1,349 - Updated: 6/20/2013 - Published: 12/27/2009 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Red's Life is a Game by RebukeX7 reviews
Third in LIAG series! Can Be Read Alone! CRACK! Ash is replaced by Pokemon Champion Red in his adventures to become a Pokemon Master! Red/Ash X Misty X Harem
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 52,168 - Reviews: 371 - Favs: 727 - Follows: 629 - Updated: 3/28/2013 - Published: 12/30/2011 - Red, Ash K./Satoshi
Naruto:life is a Game by RebukeX7 reviews
What if, after stealing the forbidden scroll, Naruto got Kage Bunshin on the first try. What if he used rest of the time learning jutsus that make living life a game? Naruto/femkyuu/femsasu/harem CRACK WITH PLOT
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 72,187 - Reviews: 552 - Favs: 1,216 - Follows: 628 - Updated: 2/23/2013 - Published: 7/22/2011 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama - Complete
Naruto Namikaze: Shinigami Shinobi by Namikaze09 reviews
Kisuke,Yorucihi,Kenpachi and Kukaku are given a second chance at life by the Shinigami King to help Naruto Namikaze reach his potential to fulfill the procphecy and gain a family he always wanted. Shinigami/Hollow Hybrid Naruto Naruto Harem.
Crossover - Naruto & Bleach - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 12 - Words: 78,436 - Reviews: 653 - Favs: 1,800 - Follows: 1,517 - Updated: 11/9/2012 - Published: 7/2/2010 - Naruto U., K. Urahara
Submission King by VFSNAKE reviews
Humor based harem fic you'll love. I hope anyway. Name may change.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 53,987 - Reviews: 415 - Favs: 1,631 - Follows: 1,296 - Updated: 5/16/2011 - Published: 11/18/2010 - Naruto U.
Beginning of Chaos by Khaos Kuma reviews
Kyuubi was sealed into Naruto. But it was determined to make Naruto a legend. And so is the Beginning of Chaos.... Small NaruHarem, Smart, slightly dark Naruto...
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,744 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 424 - Follows: 412 - Updated: 1/24/2011 - Published: 3/13/2010 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
Indiana Uzumaki power! by ZenoNoKyuubi reviews
Look! In the sky! It's a bird, it's a plane, no, its Indiana Uzumaki! This is mostly humor and it's not meant to be too serious. NaruxAnko why? Because I love NaruxAnko!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,020 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 9/30/2008 - Published: 9/21/2008 - Naruto U., Anko M.
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The Sword with No Sheath reviews
They betrayed him. He worked to prove his humanity and worth, and they cast him aside like he had no use. But Konoha will soon know his wrath. Storms are brewing on the horizon, and blood will rain from the skies. Konoha made their final mistakes, and now the reaper has come to collect. The arrogant beware; a sword with no sheath has an eternal bloodlust and will cut all.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,251 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 23 - Published: 11/21/2013
Disciple of the Elder God reviews
Most people believe that Kami is the highest deity, and there is no greater being than her. They are wrong. There is one above her, and he has been watching Naruto Uzumaki. Now this deity decided enough was enough. He was going to make Naruto's life much better. He was going to make Naruto his disciple... Naruharem, Sakubashing. Don't like don't read. NO YAOI! Discontinued, see A/N
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 84,714 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 239 - Updated: 11/21/2013 - Published: 6/14/2012 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Children of the Four Blades reviews
Our story begins with Aaron and his children, who are 12, and Genin. What if, when their father was away to visit someone, they began to fulfill an ancient destiny? You'll have to read. Sequel to All the Birds of Akatsuki. T for a certain religious nut.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 89,767 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/13/2012 - Published: 11/24/2011
When My Imagination Dies reviews
When my imagination dies, this story will be finished. Of course, that'll be right before it's reborn. Drabble-fic. T for language. On hiatus
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 725 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 2/21/2012 - Published: 1/30/2012
All the Birds of Akatsuki reviews
What happens when the Akatsuki is transported into our world, and they're BIRDS! Freakin' hilarity. Rated T for Hidan. I do not own Naruto. Crack fic. Gary-sueish. Now rated M for the mentions of sexual content in chapter 56! Also, add-on to end note of Chapter 57! IMPORTANT!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 62 - Words: 140,469 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 1/21/2012 - Published: 8/3/2011 - Akatsuki - Complete
The Blazing Dragon reviews
What if one boy who was unloved, found a slip of paper that would change his life forever? Look out world, Naruto Uzumaki is ready to protect his precious people! NaruxKure,NaruxAnko, and OCxKyuubi. Rated M for future lemons and sexual themes.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 59,166 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 343 - Follows: 202 - Updated: 10/24/2011 - Published: 6/27/2011 - Naruto U., Kurenai Y. - Complete
Akatsuki Days reviews
What happens when you stay with the Akatsuki? Hilarity, THAT'S WHAT. Rated M for Hidan's problems. OCxOC
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,976 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/16/2011 - Published: 7/14/2011 - Akatsuki - Complete