Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter.
Follow me on twitter: SporkDeMortimer
Me: I am in love with Oliver Wood, Blaise Zabini, and Neville Longbottom. I also love Luna Lovegood, Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger, but not in the same way. Y'know. I love to read and write, and stay up until 3 am and wake up at noon. Almost nothing but nothing grosses me out, unless it's like, some guy covered in his own blood with knives speared- yeah. 'Nuff said. Although usually that only works if it in a movie. Not a story.
Goryness: I tend to be quite imaginative when it comes to injuries, and always overestimate how much damage the human body can actually sustain before giving up. So if the extent of the injuries begins to get a little carried away or gory, please let me know in the reviews.
My music: Coldplay, Mumford and Sons, Hans Zimmer, Lindsey Stirling, the Beatles, Macklemore, Imagine Dragons
Writing: What I write depends on what I feel like writing. Sometimes, I can write cuddly, fluff stories that make you want to go, "Awwwww!" Other times, I can write cold blooded murder scenes that make you actually shiver from the horror (ooh!), but the thing about my stories is that I always have to have some sort of romance in them. Always. No matter what. So if I do have horrifying murder scenes, just keep in mind that there will always be an avenging by someone who loved them. Or something like that.
Writing Schedule: My updates can be quite erratic during most of the year, when I've got stuff to do such as school and work and things like that. I try to update my newer stories once a week, about every weekend, but with my older ones, I try to get past my block as quickly as possible and those updates can be few and far between. If you want a story to be updated faster than my pace is going, review or PM me and I'll have a bit more incentive.
Now for the Funnyness:
00.) Randomly list twelve of your favorite Harry Potter characters:
01.) Severus Snape
02.) Hermione Granger
03.) Fred Weasley
04.) Charlie Weasley
05.) Oliver Wood
06.) Remus Lupin
07.) Sirius Black
08.) Neville Longbottom
09.) Albus Dumbledore
10.) Nymphadora Tonks
11.) Minerva McGonagall
12.) Blaise Zabini
01.) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?
02.) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
03.) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
04.) Do you recall any fics about Nine? Can you recommend any?
I dunno... I was thinking about writing one
05.) Would Two and Six make a good couple?
06.) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?
07.) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
08.) Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fanfic.
Fred/Tonks...interesting. She's so much physically older than him, but mentally, they're about the same.
09.) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff fanfic?
Severus/Neville? Unless Snape suddenly decides that he loves Longbottoms and is suddenly gay... I don't think so.
Oh, I'm forgetting hate sex. Silly me.
10.) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.
A False Prejudice
11.) What kind of summary would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?
Charlie has held a secret passion for his potions professor nearly all his life. Little does he know, said professor has never felt the passions of the world. When Charlie does find out, seducing Snape becomes just that much more pleasurable...
12.) Does anyone on your friends list read Seven slash?
13.) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?
14.) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
14.) Would anyone you know write Two/Four/Five?
15.) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?
maybe...don't really see Tonks as a long speechy person. uh well actually that might be plausible.
16.) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
17.) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
18.) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?
Tonks to Hermione: "You've been making me change in ways I can't even imagine." A bit more deep than most...but...
19.)When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
A couple weeks ago.
20.) What is Six's super-secret kink?
21.) Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?
22.) If Three and Seven got together, who would top?
23.) "One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
Just A Sucky Life All Around.
I have no idea who'd write it.
24.) How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?
Neville/Sirius. Kinda confused. Neville doesn't even know about Sirius until he's dead, right?
Quotes that really should have been in the book:
- “Bellatrix, stop groping me. Just…just…go stand over there.” – Voldy.
- “Sooo, what’s REALLY going on between his lordship and that snake, hmm?”
- “What we need,” Voldemort mused, “is some sort of sign that people can rally around. To keep the masses happy and unrebellious.”
Snape gasped. “You mean-”
“Yes.” Voldemort allowed a vicious, cold smile to play upon his lips. “What the Death Eaters need is a theme song.”
“NO, DAMMIT! I DON’T CARE IF THE POTTER BOY’S BEEN FOUND! AMERICAN IDOL IS ON!”
- “One of you go see if the boy is alive. No, don’t poke him with that, Fenrir!”
“Damn that Malfoy boy is sexy.”
“What?? I was just saying…”
- “I’ll get you, Harry Potter, and your little owl, too!”
-“Snape has a female patronus? Alright, Severus, what aren’t you telling us?”
-Voldemort rushed on through the night towards his last Horcrux, a crazed look in his eyes. Potter had gotten the ring, he had gotten the locket, but Voldemort would be damned if the blasted boy was going to lay one finger on his bunny slippers!
-“Perhaps Draco will baby-sit the cubs!”
“Does Lucius Malfoy have to curse a bitch?”
- “Screw guarding Sirius Black’s old house; let’s go get drunk!”
- Voldemort glared angrily at the house-elf carrying the offending meal. “The Dark Lord,” he explained slowly, “does NOT eat muffins!”
- “Kreacher angry! Kreacher SMASH!”
-Ron, Hermione, and Harry all stood around the body of their fallen foe. “So, whadda’ya reckon?” Ron asked, gazing at the lifeless form of Voldemort. “Boxers or briefs?”
- And thus, Harry never did get a high school education.
- The Boy Who Continued to Live nearly died with laughter when the Malfoys turned up to their disciplinary hearing. Lucius Malfoy was wearing a tux, complete with top hat and cane, while his wife wore a pale blue satin ball gown with elbow-length gloves. Draco was wearing blue jeans and a black tee-shirt that said “I was forced to try and kill Albus Dumbledore, I had to put up with Snape for seven years, the Ministry raided my house more times than I have fingers, I couldn’t get away from Dolores Umbridge, Death Eaters moved into my house, Voldemort made fun of me and my family, I had to hurt people to stop my parents from being killed, I watched my Mom and Dad tortured, my wand was stolen, I still haven’t won a Quidditch game against Harry Potter, and all I got was this lousy tattoo, and even that went away after Voldemort’s downfall.” It was the start of a long and lasting friendship.
- “No, Hermione, I won’t die – I’m the boy who LIVED, after all.”