Author has written 9 stories for Naruto.
Disclaimer: All fanfictions written by Joanna Davis are not intended to claim ownership of character names used, brands, products, bands, lryics, movies, TV shows or anything with any original thought except for plot lines.
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Karin is so fat, not even Naruto can believe it!
I actually don't hate Karin, but this was just too funny.
Lessons in logic
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Are you a big Naruto fan? Well below are some signs to show that you are addicted to Naruto:
· Call your semester examine a Chuunin exam
· Roll your eyes back in your head and shout "Byakugan".
· Copy every thing a person does and claim it's your bloodline.
· Stick your hand in a electric box and scream "chidori" as you pass out
· Start to call your teachers Sennin.
· Graduate high school and proclaim yourself as an Anbu.
· List Anbu as current occupation on a job application.
· Wake up in the middle of the night and scream "Itachi why?!".
· Eat all day and all night, and then try to roll into a ball and run someone down.
· When someone asks you what your dream is, say that its to be Hokage.
· Your hair is black and you wear red contacts.
· You always wear sunglasses and keep bugs in your pockets.
· You get red contacts and claim you are from the Uchiha bloodline.
· When you do something stupid, you claim you were being controlled by the Shadow Possesion Jutsu.
· You dye your hair white and spy on girls.
· You sharpen chop sticks and claim them to be senbons.
· You yell out "Wind Shuriken Throw of Death" when throwing a frisbee.
· You try to kill your brother every day.
· You constantly crack your knuckles and do hand signs without even thinking.
· You keep alcohol in your mouth then spit it out with a match by your mouth to create a fireball.
· You poke people in their butts and yell "A thousand years of pain!".
· In the middle of a sleepover, you blast a flashlight into your best friend's eyes and yell "Chidori!"
· You look in the mirror and think its your shadow clone.
· You call your teacher Iruka-sensei.
· You go to school with a forehead protector and claim it is the new trend from the Hidden Leaf Village.
· When you fight, you poke your opponent 64 times.
· Every time your class goes on a field trip, you call it a mission.
· You type in Konoha as your hometown on Internet forms.
· When your parents ask you why are your eyes so bloodshot, you tell them it's your Sharingan eye.
· Say "Itadakimasu" before you eat.
if you are obessed with naruto
1. You dye your hair blond and try to walk up a tree
2. You can spit out a quote from any character at any given time ("what a drag""jashin shall smite you"
3. You loudly declare homework 'Troublesome'
4. You tell your teacher that your career aspiration is to become Hokage
5. You constantly yell 'Believe It!' whenever you can
6. You glue yourself to fanfiction (... does 24/7 count)
7. You read every chapter as soon as it comes out
8. When you get mad you angrily tell your family that the only ties to them you have are the ones you'd like to wrap around their necks
9. You recognize that quote and laugh about using it
10. You randomly cosplay as your favorite character
11. You tell your teacher that once you graduate their class you'll join the ANBU
12. When you're nervous, you tap your fingertips together
13. Your main method of annoying little siblings is to loudly yell 'Byakugan' and start poking them with two fingers
14. You copy someone and declare that it's your Kekkai Genkai
15. You try to crush annoying people by clenching your fist and saying 'Sand Coffin'
16. You start twitching every time some one says 'Youthful'
17. You plot out alternate endings to Naruto in your spare time
18. You know every detail about your favorite character
19. When you talk to your friends, you talk about Naruto
20. You declare loudly that you hate brats
21. When someone tries to eat the last chip, you flip out on them and yell 'Mine!' before snatching it and eating it
22. You are always late and try to give lame excuses
23. You electrocute yourself then yell 'Chidori' as you pass out
24. You call your test a Chunin Exam
25. You tell your parents that it is their fate to let you slack off in school since it is your fate to fail
26. You lick your lips while trying to make your tongue seem longer
27. You declare yourself an avenger and spike your hair but only in the back
28. You call the group that you hang out with the Akatsuki
29. You doodle the Leaf Symbol every where
30. You take a fan and try to summon Kamitachi
31. You try to make your painting some alive
32. You are still reading this, laughing and nodding
IN PRISON. You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
AT WORK You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
IN PRISON You get three meals a day.
AT WORK You only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.
IN PRISON You get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK You get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
IN PRISON A guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK. You must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
IN PRISON You can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK You get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON You get your own toilet.
AT WORK You have to share.
IN PRISON They allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK You cannot even speak to your family and friends.
IN PRISON All expenses are paid by tax payers with no work required.
AT WORK. You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
What to do on an elevator:
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger.
Ni = Two
Haru = Spring
Sayonara = Goodbye
Moshi moshi? = Hello? ("Moshi moshi?", is something they say everytime they answer the phone)
Oh dear Kami-sama = Oh dear Lord / Oh dear God
Nakama = It can mean friend, but has a much stronger meaning to it
Koibito / Amate = Lover
Anata = means 'you' but also can mean 'dear'
Koi = Love
Koishii = Dearest / Sweetheart
Ichizoku = Family or Clan, ex. The Uchiha Ichizoku (The Uchiha Clan)
Otou-sama, Otou-san, Otou-chan, Tou-sama, Tou-san, Tou-chan, Chichioya (Chichiue),'Oyaji' = Father, dad, 'Old man'
Okaa-sama, Okaa-san, Okaa-chan, Kaa-sama, Kaa-san, Kaa-chan, Hahaoya (Hahaue) = Mother, mom
Onii-sama, Onii-san, Onii-chan, Nii-sama, Nii-san, Nii-chan, Aniki, Ani, (Name, ex. Naruto)-nii = Older brother, Big brother, (Ani) brother equally, big brother (Naruto)
Onee-sama, Onee-san, Onee-chan, Nee-sama, Nee-san, Nee-chan, (Name, ex. Sakura)-nee = Older sister, Big sister, big sister (Sakura)
Otouto-sama, Otouto-san, Otouto-kun, Otouto-chan, Otouto, (Name, ex. Sasuke)-otouto = Younger brother, little brother, baby brother, little brother (Sasuke)
Imouto-sama, Imouto-san, Imouto-chan, Imouto, (Name, ex. Hanabi)-imouto = Younger sister, little sister, baby sister, little sister (Hanabi)
Ojii-sama, Ojii-san, Ojii-chan, Jii-sama, Jii-san, Jii-chan, 'Oyaji' = Grandfather, 'Old man'
Obaa-sama, Obaa-san, Obaa-chan, Baa-sama, Baa-san, Baa-chan, Sobo = Grandmother, Granny, 'Old hag'
Oji-sama, Oji-san, Oji-chan, Ji-sama, Ji-san, Ji-chan = Uncle
Itoko-sama, Itoko-san, Itoko-kun, Itoko-chan = Cousin
Ossan = Old man / Mister
Onna = Woman
Gaki = Brat
-sama = For higher status, ex. Hokage, Clan Head, ex. Tsunade-sama, Hiashi-sama
-san = For people you respect, ex. Kakashi-san, or with surname only: Hatake-san
-kun = For a boy / man you are familiar with, ex. Sasuke-kun
-chan = For a girl woman you are familiar with, also refered to cute, ex. Sakura-chan
-sensei = For a teacher, doctor, ex. Iruka-sensei, Tsunade-sensei
-taichou = For a captain, ex. Hatake-taichou (Captain Hatake)
-shishou = For boss or a teacher in a job, ex. Tsunade-shishou (By Sakura)
-senpai = For a senior in school or in a job, ex. Neji-senpai
-kouhai (Sp?) = For a junior in school or in a job, ex. Naruto-kouhai
What friends and best friends do
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
Fine - This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
Five Minutes - This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
Nothing - This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine".
Go Ahead - (With Raised Eyebrows!) This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".
Go Ahead - (Normal Eyebrows) This means "I give up" or "Do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
Loud Sigh- This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
Soft Sighs- Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
That's Okay - This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow".
Please Do - This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".
Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say "You're welcome".
Thanks A Lot - This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh" as she will only tell you "Nothing”
1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
2. Thou shall not do drugs.
3. Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
4. Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
5. Thou shall not steal from your parents.
6. Thou shall not get into fights.
7. Thou shall not skip class.
8. Thou shall not wear revealing clothes in class.
9. Thou shall not think about having sex.
10. Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
22 Things to do at Wal-Mart
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"
17. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.
18. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you.
19. Throw things over one aisle into another one.
20. Mark out price tags with a sharpie.
21. Go to a random aisle and try to reach the top item. When someone comes and asks you if you need help, scream loudly "I can't reach my chexcereal!" and keep screaming it until they go away.
22. Stand in the middle of an aisle way and burst out into the Pepto Bismol song, dance moves included.
A True Boyfriend:
When she walks away from you mad,
When she stares at your mouth,
When she pushes you or hits you,
When she starts cussing at you,
When she's quiet,
When she ignores you,
When she pulls away.
When you see her at her worst,
When you see her start crying,
When you see her walking,
When she's scared,
When she lays her head on your shoulder,
When she steals your favorite hat,
When she teases you,
When she doesn't answer for a long time,
When she looks at you with doubt,
When she says that she likes you,
When she grabs at your hands,
When she bumps into you,
. When she tells you a secret,
When she looks at you in your eyes,
When she misses you,
When you break her heart,
When she says it’s over,
When she re-posts this bulletin,
Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go.
When she says she's OK don't believe it, talk with her,
because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her.
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
Tease her and let her tease you back.
Stay up all night with her when she's sick.
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it’s stupid.
Give her the world.
Let her wear your clothes.
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.
Let her know she's important.
Kiss her in the pouring rain.
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
Why America has some issues...
1. Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers,l arge fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America are there people who leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America are there people who use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America are there people who buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America are there people who use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'
10. Only in America are there people who have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
Ways to make sure you're insane
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.
Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"
Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.
As often as possible, skip rather than walk .
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme .
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.
When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!!"
We're best friends. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a brdge, I laugh harder and call out before you die, "WAIT, CAN I HAVE YOUR iPOD?!.
It's always the last place you look...well of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')
After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (well no, but I've gone though ALOT of pencils)
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. (unfortunately)
Pein/Pain - Nagato
[Pein/Pain - Nagato Score: 2]
[Konan Score: 7] (She’s my fave character, and I wanna be just like her!)
[Itachi Uchiha Score: 3 ]
[Kisame Hoshigaki Score: 3]
[Sasori Score: 5 ]
[Kakuzu Score: 3 ]
[Hidan Score: 4 ]
[Zetsu Score: 4 ]
[Orochimaru Score: 3 ]
Conclusion- Konan all the way. Yay!!!
And after her closest comes Sasori. He’s really hot...
Women are like teabags. They don't know how strong they are until they are in hot water.
I like bananas. Banana's are good.
–They say ‘Guns don’t kill people; people kill people.’ Well, I think the gun helps, cuz if you just stood there and yelled BANG I don’t think you'd kill too many people.So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?
No, I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Warning: Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.
WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.
If your heart was really broken you'd be dead, so shut up.
Yes, I do use my hairbrush as a microphone and dance around in my underwear. Thank you very much.
I don't have a dog... I eat my own homework.
Please: Don't throw your cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.
There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can't.
Life isn’t passing me by; it's trying to run me over.
Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.
I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept!
I used to see a shrink... until she said life isn’t for everyone.
If asteroids are in the hemisphere, and hemorrhoids are on your ass, why are they named the way they are?
I live in my own little world. But it's okay, they know me there.
Tell the truth and run.
If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from? [Me: Morons. XP]
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder and ask you before you die if I can have your IPOD.
Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.
I got you a present; it's a _. I hope you haven't got it, because I don't have a receipt... and I didn't exactly buy it...
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!
When in doubt, make up words!
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you!
You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not Cold then I'm Hot. I know I'm Hot. Thank You for embracing it!
One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks!
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!
The statistics of insanity is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends. If they're ok, then it's you!
When it rains on my party/parade, I bust out the slip n' slide.
A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.
There is no "I" in team but there is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
Music is like candy. You throw away the rappers. [but I do not agree to this! For they are artists too~ :( ]
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... Not so sure about the universe now.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.
Don’t take life so seriously. It’s not like you’re getting out of it alive.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon!
All of us have only one thing in common...one shared fate...Death.
People always ask me what do I like most. I don't wanna brag, I don't wanna boast, but I always tell them, "I like toast."
Be a leader, not a flower.
Umm...you did what with your huh?
When I was young, I thought that if you swallowed watermelon seeds, you'd grow watermelons from your stomach...I'm a little scared...
I'm sorry if I ever gave you the impression that I care.
You're going to end up digging ditches or having a baby that you can't take care of! And it'll die! Baby killers don't care though.
When I die, bury me upside-down so the world can KISS MY ASS!
You know you're watching too much anime when your hair starts to defy gravity.
So ironic that a heart made by man, when broken is easily fixed. But a human heart can last a lifetime.
Well...the king believes I need a...companion, of sorts. And since you are the most annoying, freakish looking thing I have ever laid eyes on, I choose you.
Don't hug strangers, you'll get fleas!
A smile is a curve that straightens things out
Me: Good morning, moon! Moon: MORNING?! HOLY CRAP, I OVERSLEPT!
A picture may hold a thousand words, but words can paint a picture only visible to the mind's eye.
Do you hate me for being different? I hate you for all being the same. People need a life that actually belongs to them, and they need to be individuals.
Children; you spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then the next sixteen years you're telling them to sit down and shut up.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel…just pray it isn't an oncoming train.
I stopped fighting with my inner Demons. We're on the same side now.
If you can't laugh at yourself, I'd be happy to do it for you.
It's better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you're not.
Kids know farts are okay. Kids know farts are fun! Farts are shit without the mess!
Nothing is perfect because life isn’t perfect, and that’s what makes it so beautiful.
Dying or getting killed isn't something unnatural. Living aimlessly without a purpose is.
Do what you need to do now; because before you know it, today becomes yesterday's tomorrow.
Friendship is more tragic than love. It lasts longer.
Forgive your enemies…nothing annoys them more.
Art is only as beautiful as you see it, so please imagine it beautifully.
Life is like a clean canvas. We are the artist. For every stroke and every color we use dictates the output. It doesn't matter how we render it as long as we can proudly say it is our masterpiece.
The people shouldn't be afraid of their government; the government should be afraid of their people.
When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace. Be kind to unkind people. They need it the most.
Don't try to develop style. Ignore style. Just concentrate on drawing and style will just occur.
Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.
The world isn't a better place, it's just been painted brighter colors.
Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.
The most beautiful discovery that true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.
The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others.
Getting a job is too hard. The employers don't want me for who I am. They want me for what I've achieved.
What?! A donation for the children's fund?! Cancel that! What has the children ever done for me?
Ideas are like children; there are none as wonderful as your own.
If at first you do succeed…try something harder.
Do not let ambitions overshadow small success.
Anything is a weapon if you use it correctly.
I am Nobody. Nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.
Don't be afraid of the dark. Be afraid of what's in the dark...
The most cooperative man in this world is a dead man. And if you don't keep your mouth shut, you're going to be cooperating.
When all else fails; blame society!
My pain stops me from living my life…my pride keeps me from ending it.
Hm…that's strange. Where would I go? I'm too evil for Heaven, and Hell is afraid I'll take over and rule!
What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!
There is a fine line between genius and insanity...and I fear I may have crossed it...many miles back... The line between genius and insanity is defined by whether or not you can fool people into thinking you're sane.
Take away my Internet…I'll find ways to sneak on. Take away my TV…I'll go on the Internet. Take away my games…I'll watch TV. But if you take away my writing paper, you must be asking for a beat down.
Me, I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, 'cause you can never predict if they're going to do something incredibly stupid.
Being God isn't easy. Being a politician is.
If you do too much the people become dependent on you.
If you do nothing then they lose all hope.
But if you do it right they won't be able to tell if you did anything at all.
If you speak to God, you're religious. If he speaks to you, you're psychotic.
You’re sad because you can’t have him, but there is someone else who hides a deeper pain for not having you.
Should I smile because were friends, or cry because that’s all we'll ever be.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away
At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him. You
And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
Number your 12 fave Naruto characters (In no order) and answer the questions!!
1)Deidara 2)Pein 3)Konan 4)Naruto 5)Shikamaru 6)Rock Lee 7)Hidan 8)Sasori 9)Madara/Tobi 10)Neji 11)Temari 12)Gaara
1)Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before? Rock Lee/Temari? I don’t think...
2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot? Naruto? Yeaaaah, I mean he’s kinda hot, but not really my type... Still hot, what can I say...
3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? Gaara/Sasori? Buaahahahahaha!!! Sand controling puppet!!! The next Kazekage whose mommy would be in Akatsuki... Lawl!!!
4) Do you recall any fics about Nine? Madara/Tobi? Yeah, it was a series of fanfics called the Fallacy of... and there were at least three about Madara.
5) Would Two and Six make a good couple? Pein/ Rock Lee? Noooooooo!!! Pein is mineeeee!!! But probably Lee would enjoy the pairing, considering he is gay and Pein is hooot!
6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Shika/Tobi or Shika/Neji? None!!! They’re all mine!
7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex? Hidan/ Pein&Gaara? Hidan would probably sacrifice them to Jashin-sama.
8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic. Konan/Neji? Never read one, but I can make one now... Neji wanted to learn how to make origami in order to impress Tenten, so he looked for someone who knew that art. He found Konan, but he fell in love immediately. Pein didn’t like this, so Tenten had to mourn over Neji’s grave.
9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff? Deidara/ Sasori. Though I disagre profondly, everyone knows the SasoDei coupling. And everyone who is okay with it is wrong. Three words: THEY. ARE. MINE!!!!11!!!one!!!!2!!!
10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic. Hidan/Temari? Uhhhh... Jashin’s wind?
11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One? Naruto to de-flower Deidara? Holy shit, Deidara is a guy! No plot, I’d never write something like this!!!!
12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het? Konan?Dunno, I’d read, though I’m a girl...
13) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? Temari?God knows.
14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? Pein/Naruto/Shika?Hell no!
15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion? Neji?This is fate!!!!!!
16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? Sasori?Master of puppets by Metallica
17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? Deidara/Rock Lee/Gaara? Warning: Jinchuriki kidnapping and drunken gay!
18) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two? Neji/Pein? (Why all hotties are gay?) Dunno, probably ‘Each and every body of your looks like they need some affection... This is the fate.’
19) How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight? Temari/Pein&Sasori? Rain on the puppet? I think she’d say ’... ... gays ...’
20) How emo is Seven? Hidan? For Jashin’s sake, he cuts himself and eats blood!!! VERY EMO, more emo than Itachi or Sasuke!
If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile
If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
(mwahaha) If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto onto your profile
If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile
Pickup Lines That Are Doomed To Fail...
1. You look familiar; have I seen you before? Oh yeah, I remember! You look like my next girlfriend!
2. Hey baby, I'm like a rubix cube. The longer you play with me, the harder I get.
3. If I bit my lip, would you kiss it better?
4. Do you have a map? I got lost in your eyes...
5. If I said you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?
6. You be an iceberg, I'll be the Titanic, and I'll go down on you.
7. If I tossed this 50 cent coin, what are the chances of me getting head?
8. I'll be the flower, you be the bee, and you can have a taste of my honey!
9. Are you an alien? Cause you've just abducted my heart.
10. Can I take your picture? I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.
11. Your beauty was so distracting that I ran into a wall, so I'm gonna need your name and number...for insurance reasons.
12. Excuse me, I lost my number. Can I have yours?
13. If being pretty is a crime, then you are guilty as charged.
14. Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out!
15. Are you free tonight or is it gonna cost me?
16. Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
17. Are you an overdue book? 'Cause you've got FINE written all over you.
18. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can see myself in your pants.
19. Did you fart? 'Cause you blew me away!
20. I know I'm no Fred Flinstone, but I can make your bed-rock.
21. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
22. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
23. That shirt’s very becoming of you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too
24. Nice dress; but it would look better on my floor.
25. Did they just take you out of the oven? Because you’re hot!
26. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
27. Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
28. Do you have any raisins? No? Well, then how about a date?
29. Can I interview you? I'm writing an atricle on the finer things in life.
30. Can you help me settle a bet? My friends say angels don't eixst...
31. Is there a ninja in your pants? 'Cause your butt is kicking!
32. What's that say on your neck? 'Made in Heaven'.
OTHER 101 things to do at WalMart - If you have done at least 10 of these then you my friend, are super awesome!!
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons!!"
6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.
7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "Sex and candy".
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code Red in Housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station, turn them all off and turn up all the volumes to the max.
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"
15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.
16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hell" upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!)
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
40. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
41. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
42. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
43. Two words: "Marco Polo."
44. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.
45. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
46. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
47. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them
48. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
49. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
50. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
51. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
52. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."
53. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
54. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word.
55. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
56. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
57. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
58. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)."
59. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
60. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
61. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
62. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
63. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
64. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
65. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
66. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
67. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
68. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.
70. Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Get people to sign.
71. Play a game of indoor freeze tag
72. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming"
73. Have a team race with your friends- one person sits in the cart, the other pushes
74. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices
75. Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane
76. Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X (aisle X being the condom aisle)
77. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saying "I'm gonna save us from that bomb!"
78. Use a conveyer belt as a treadmill and lose some weight
79. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over.
80. When people aren't looking, put tampons in their carts if they are a guy, or if they are a girl, put in a jock strap.
81. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section
82. Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls.
83. Take your boyfriend or girlfriend to the food section and have an expensive dinner.
84. Try to push your cart through a checkout without paying. When the clerk tries to stop you, kick in his balls (dont try it on a chick, it wont work), run, but leave the cart. See what happens.
85. If people arent looking at their cart, steal it.
86. Go to the gun section, saying "Can I buy a gun? I'm tired of that stupid smily face!"
87. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use wite-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund.
88. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught
89. Take a leak in the dressing rooms.
90. Repeadeately say "The clowns are not eating me."
91. Use fake checks, but sign them using your neighbors name.
92. Rearrange items as you see fit.
93. Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of girl's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere.
94. Put pokemon stuff in a cart that is full of stuff like KoRn and Limp Bizkit CDs.
95. Grab condoms and stick them in everyone's face (only the opposite sex).
96. Do #95 but with the same sex (not recomended).
97. Grab stickers that say "radioactive" and put them randomly on food items.
98. Follow someone until they notice.
99. Pull out pins, like that guy form the 7 Up commercial.
100. Throw Skittles at people and scream "TASTE THE RAINBOW!"
101. Loiter. When asked to leave, tell them you live here.'
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
1. Who is your favourite Naruto character(s)? Konan! And all the Akatsukis.
f you've ever asked really stupid, or obvious questions, copy and paste this on your profile
If you ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy and paste this on your profile
If you ever forgot what you were talking about in the middle of a conversation, copy and paste this on your profile
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think those stupid kids should just give the poor Trix Rabbit some Trix, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you can spout a random Naruto character quote on command, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you would LOVE to know how Naruto's going to end, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your pro
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.
If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped down the stairs, copy this into your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you wish it was summer vacation RIGHT NOW, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are scared of clowns, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste into your profile.
If you hear voices in your head and KNOW the voices are real, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you don't use Myspace and are proud enough to make it public, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy this into your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't watch Heros or Lost religiously, never have, never will, and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever seen an act like a gangsta or use slang and were freaked out, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have too many of these "copy and paste" things, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you like Sharpies, penguins, cookies, close friends, MSN, AIM, and/or the internet, copy this to your profile.
If you think the semi-colon is completely usless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your profile.
If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.
If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile.
If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.
If you are insane, copy and paste this into your profile.
I have tripped over a solid, flat surface for no apparent reason
I have started laughing for no reason
I have tried to explain why I was laughing, but was laughing too hard
I have tried to stop laughing uncontrollably, and ended up laughing harder
I have laughed at someone who insulted me
I would love to lock Naruto and Sasuke in a room with deadly explosives and see what happens
I used to love Sasuke but now I hate him (chapter 362) (stupid @ killed Dei-kun!)
At random moments, I tack "un" on the end of my sentences
I cried when Sasuke nearly died, then cursed his very existence after he left
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every minute, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.
If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever walked into a window copy this onto your profile
If you have ever walked into a wall, copy and paste this into your profile.
Sorry for the long description. If you have a description longer than a chapter of your stories, copy and paste this on your profile.
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