Author has written 1 story for Mass Effect, and Left 4 Dead.
Hello, I'm Whateverdudezb, or just Dude if you want to be short, and welcome to my profile page. Now, let's get to the reason why you're here.
You're here to:
A: see if I have any funny and/or meaningful quotes (which I do, just scroll down a bit more),
B: see if I have any of the Copy-and-paste stuff (sorry, I don't really do that),
C: learn more about me (you shall get NOTHING, ...maybe),
D: find some more stories that I have written (sorry, I only have one right now, and I'm going to be focusing on it),
E: browse my favorite stories and authors.
If you are here for that last reason, then I'm going to point you to some of the best ones that had a large impact on me.
Ocarina of Konoha by Lackofname. A Naruto and Legend of Zelda crossover.
The best parody/satire, period.
Yeah, you read that right. I am writing this with full knowledge that Spaceballs, Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, Airplane 1 & 2, Naked Gun, and Scary Movie exist in the world today. And I still say that this is the best parody/satire ever.
Replacing the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time characters with the Naruto cast, i.e. Naruto as Link and Kyuubi as Navi, this story provides some of the best humor with: Naruto and Kyuubi as the best comedic duo ever, the OOC virus, the best Mary Sue death scene ever, the three triforce goddesses torturing Kyuubi, fourth wall jokes, and the fact that the Naruto cast is being forced to play these roles.
As one of the very first fanfics I have ever read, and one that I continuously go back to read over and over again across the years, I recommend this for everyone.
People Lie by Nugar. A Naruto fic.
A dark/humorous fic about what a world filled with ninja would really be like.
Drawing some story elements from Fight Club, this story gives you characters that you feel more closer to than the canon ones. Featuring characters that are deranged, maniacs, schemers, bitches, bastards, and sadists. But you'll still love them anyways.
Also recommended is Ask Me No Questions by the same author, in which the characters of People Lie are transported to the canon universe, hilarity ensues. Be warned though, both of these fics are not completed and have not been updated in a long time, but I still highly recommend reading, because...
"Some things are worth getting your heart broken," Doctor Who reference, yay.
Anything done by Sarah1281.
Hey readers, have you ever watched or read something that made you stop and ask yourself: "wait, why don't they just do this?" Enter Sarah1281, who probably already has a fic that will address that issue.
Sarah1281 has also written the two best time travel fics: OH God Not Again for Harry Potter, and It's For a Good Cause, I Swear! for Naruto.
The Game of Champions by L. Lamora. A Pokémon fic.
A realistic Pokémon fic that follows the adventures of one of Nintendo's most Badass characters: RED.
BLUE is still an asshole, but he is an asshole that you will respect, both as RED's badass rival and as a competent trainer.
PROF. OAK is the biggest badass, and you will love to learn why.
This is a story about badasses, enjoy.
Actually, let me reiterate: this is a well-written story about badasses, because Lamora knows how to write a story about a badass in a world filled with other badasses NOT look mundane.
Semper Victoria and Semper Furor by Katkiller-V. An Avatar (James Cameron's) fic.
Do you like the Avatar movie, but hate how humanity (once again) gets the short end of the stick? Say no more, here is Semper Victoria in which humanity comes back to Pandora to do what they can to make sure their species survives, at any cost. But do not worry, this is not a human wank story, there are assholes and heroes on both sides.
The Missing Spark by The Island Hopper. A Calvin and Hobbes fic.
...This story... is probably one of the most beautiful stories to ever come out of Fanfiction.net.
Tips for writers
There are many writing tropes that readers and writers everywhere know about and learn to avoid like the dreaded Mary Sue, bashing, fluff, self-inserts, and many others. But here are a few that some writers should also be aware of.
The Bad Poker Player: in other words, terrible exposition. This is a trope that happens when, usually during the beginning of the fic, a character just flat out tells someone their backstory (or their planet's/nation's/organization's secrets/history). When this happens, any suspense or mystery for this character just gets destroyed. This is also trouble when it happens in crossovers, where everything is revealed about both pieces of fiction and all of the amazement and drama is dealt in the first few chapters. Now, I'm not telling you to only reveal everything at the end of the story (I actually hate it when stories do that), just reveal a little bit of info as you go on with the story.
Everything is Fine: in which problems are solved without any repercussion. Remember this quote, "if one problem is solved, then ten more problems will crop up from that solution," if you keep this idea in mind then your story will always have a good conflict.
The Great Wall of Text: not everything needs large detailed descriptions to get your point across. Most of the time this problem can be solved by simply breaking up those paragraphs.
The Sticky Note of Interest: On the other end of the spectrum is too little descriptions. If something important is happening in your story, do not glance over it.
“Those who think they know it all, live in ignorance.” - Me
Sometimes the only way to solve a problem is to make it substantially worse
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back, and let the world wonder how you did it.
It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.
The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to think you're pretentious.
"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." -Arthur Schopenhauer
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Science might be an annoying bitch, but Magic is her slutty, drug-addicted cousin. Who enjoys screwing with your head.
We have guns now, so I'm afraid you're fired
"Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." -Arthur C. Clarke
"A throne is only a bench covered in velvet." -Napoleon Bonaparte
"A revolution is an idea that has found its bayonets." -Napoleon Bonaparte
“So they’ve got us surrounded, good! Now we can fire in any direction, those bastards won’t get away this time!” – Chesty Puller
“Murder is only an extroverted suicide.” – Monty Python sketch
Wars are neither won nor lost on the first encounter
Some people are just too hard to kill
“No,” he lied. It was the perfect response. There was no way it could possibly be confused for a yes.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Ask no questions and be told no lies.
Insanity is just another point of view.
It wasn’t the new things that got you, it was when something you thought was familiar was made alien.
All I know is I don't know enough.
It's like shooting a panda. Sure, they're actually bastards, but they're just so bad at taking care of themselves that you can't help but pity them, and you get no satisfaction from killing them when they're so easy to kill.
Piracy: imagine your car gets stolen, but it’s still there in the morning.
Anything can happen when you're in the Drunk Zone.
I won't take a bullet for anyone, because if I have time to jump in front of a bullet, then you have time to move.
I had to punch a polar bear in his balls to get my manliness back
"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day… Especially those ones in the middle of August when it's all sticky and mosquitoes appear in droves to suck your blood and your entire lawn is brown and dying and some people pass out from heat exhaustion and the air conditioning is broken and then there's a blackout and all your neighbors pretend to like you so they can use your pool… yeah…"
"Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window." -Steve Wozinak
Anything can be sexual if you think hard enough…heh…hard.
The moment when something of yours is taken away is the moment you want it most.
The less you care, the happier you will be.
Fictionally or factually, high school sucks.
“You are making this racist, bigoted, stuck-up hopeless slut royalty?” “To be fair, that does describe most royalty through the ages. “
So, a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.
McDonalds does actually serve breakfast after 10:30 if you bring a gun.
Authors are legendarily grumpy characters who are never satisfied by their own words.
"Scientific progress makes moral progress a necessity; for if man's power is increased, the checks that restrain him from abusing it must be strengthened." - Madame de Stael
"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou
"Be the change that you want to see in the world." - Ghandi
Beware the stupid act. It is, after all, just an act.
It was so cute, the way their eyes gleamed at the thought of killing something.
"The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?" - Edgar Allan Poe
"Good men must die, but death cannot kill their names." - ancient proverb
"Don't hit at all if it can be avoided, but never hit softly." - Theodore Roosevelt
"A guy needs somebody―to be near him. A guy goes nuts if he ain't got nobody. Don't make no difference who the guy is, long's he's with you. I tell ya, I tell ya a guy gets too lonely an' he gets sick." - Of Mice and Men
"Fanfiction is what literature might look like if it were reinvented from scratch after a nuclear apocalypse by a band of brilliant pop-culture junkies trapped in a sealed bunker. They don't do it for money. That's not what it's about. The writers write it and put it up online just for the satisfaction. They're fans, but they're not silent, couchbound consumers of media. The culture talks to them, and they talk back to the culture in its own language." - Lev Grossman
"You're dead if you aim only for kids. Adults are only kids grown up, anyway." - Walt Disney
"..Now and then we had a hope that, if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates." Mark Twain
Art is how you tell reality to go fuck itself.
"Dreams save us. Dreams lift us up and transform us into something better." - Superman/Clark Kent, Superman vs. The Elite
"All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible." - Thomas E. Lawrence
All stories are lies. But good stories are lies made from light and fire. And they lift our hearts out of the dust, and out of the grave. - Martin Thole's son, from the comic Lucifer, issue 70, Fireside Tales
Unsafe External Link