Author has written 2 stories for Alex Rider.
Heya World of Fanficton
My name is (why should I tell you I'm sticking to my pen name)
I am 14
I love reading and writing , it is a wonder why I didn't sign up sooner.
I am British
I have trouble with grammer and spelling, so sorry in advance!!
If you want to know more read my story's to get my style!
Man~ Where have you been all my life?
Woman~ Hiding from you.
Man~ Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman~ Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man~ Is this seat empty?
Woman~ Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man~ Your place or mine?
Woman~ Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man~ Your body is like a temple.
Woman~ Sorry, there are no services today.
Man~ I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman~ But would you stay there?
Man~ If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman~ If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
If you have friends of the opposite gender as well as your own copy and paste this in your profile
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. (When I read a book, I see it in my head like I'm watching a movie.)!
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever had a moment when you could only think CRAP, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how?)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought?...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because?)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly"
STEREO TYPES-that apply to me and are messed up!
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I have a disability, so I am a FREAK and have GERMS!
I am QUITE, so something MUST be wrong?!
I live in England that it correct, so if you don't like t lump it!
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