Author has written 13 stories for Harry Potter, Kissed by an Angel series, Twilight, 310 series, and House of Night.
My name is Cameryn. I have blond hair and blue eyes with tanned skin and freckles.
What am I afraid of out of 71 common fears? (The ones in bold.)
This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do!
1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
Favourite Band: One Direction
Books I'm Currently Reading:
If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile.
There is nothing wrong with any religion, race, sexual orientation, or gender. If you believe in tolerance towards all people, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think believe in werewolf rights copy and paste this onto your profile. WOOOO! GO REMUS!
If you have ever fallen in love with a fictional character, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are a person that loves fairy tales, mermaids, knights, swords, bows or anything of the sort, and in spite
I, SilverWolfLove, do solemnly swear to review all the fanfictions I read, regardless of the number of reviews,
If you dream about books/movies/etc that you're obsessed with, copy and paste this into your profile.
65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV than reading. If you are part of the 35 who read more
If you like listening to cast commentaries on films; copy/paste this on to your profile
If you have ever seen a film, TV show, or anything of the like, and can quote it word for word. And you do at random
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you are guilty of sometimes using a British accent, even if you're not British, copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever pulled an all-nighter because you were reading fanfiction stories, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever cried when your favorite character in a book, movie, or TV show died, copy this onto your profile
If you have ever snuck on FanFiction when you were supposed to be doing something else, like say your
If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this
If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing
If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile
If you like chocolate, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you ever wished you could talk to animals, copy and paste this into your profile
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.
92 percent of teens would die if Edward Cullen said breathing was not cool. If you would be one of the 8 percent
90 of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If
If there are times when you want to annoy somebody just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile
If you have ever choked on your own spit, copy this into your profile.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head, copy and paste this on your profile.
Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile
Copy and paste this into your profile if someone's ever called you weird...and you thanked them.
If you love your friends to death, copy this into your profile.
If you just sit in your bed and think for hours after you wake up and before you go to sleep, paste this into your
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your
5.5 million people are on the internet right now. Copy this onto your profile if you are one of them.
If, during a quiet moment, you suddenly remember something funny and randomly bust out laughing, copy and
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile
If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile
Chocolate chip cookies are the best! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile
if you get overly emotional and start crying just because the fanfic yor reading is sad the copy and paste this in your
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you are in love with a Twilight character, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it,
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.
If you love Kellan Lutz as Emmett Cullen, copy and past this into your profile
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly stupid,
If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've never had "The Talk", but instead learned everything you needed to know from television or fanfic, copy
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile. If you
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon and/or Eclipse, copy and pastes this onto your profile
If you have ever had the Edward/Jacob argument with someone, copy this to your profile.
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile. 98 percent of the
If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile
If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy this onto your profile
If you take great pride in being strange, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have ever had multiple songs stuck in your head at the same time, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever laughed so hard tears streamed down your face, you banged your hand repeatedly on a table,
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's
95% of teens would be crying if Justin Bieber was on a 100 ft tall building about to jump. If you are some of the
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have read my profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
IF YOU CAN HURT YOURSELF DOING JUST ABOUT ANYTHING, COPY AND PASTE THIS TO YOUR PROFILE
If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile
Paste the bunny on your profile and join the dark side!
Profile for Aaron Salton (Most of my Harry Potter Marauder Era stories):
Profile for Lia Salton (For most of my Harry Potter stories):
I'm the type of girl that can be so hurt but can still look at you and smile, the type of girl who is willing to brighten your day even if I can't brightened my own
Now type your name with your toes: Camerynb
Type your name with your elbow: CAm346hb
Type your name with your nose: Camkery6n
Type your name with you hands while not looking: Cameryn
Type your name with your tongue: Cameryn
Here are the links to the clothes/people in my stories:
You Can't Run From Your Past:
Drew's phone and phone case: http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6181/6035699829_e9875793d2.jpg
Being Unique is Being Beautiful:
Scars Are Beautiful:
Austyn's Outfit She Wore in the Woods: Ugg Boots -
1. "In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath
2. "Searching for the truth is easy. Accepting the truth is hard"
3. "Life is like a dance, when you make a mistake you just continue"
4. "If you really love something set it free. If it was really your's in the first place it'll come back"
5. "Fixing a broken heart isn't easy, but if you let it love well heal the wound"
6. "Everyone has their own story to tell, but some actually do tell it while others keep it a secret"
7. "Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life"
8. "I guess you have to trust that things are going to turn out the way their supposed to, and that you'll be okay
9. "When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile"
10. "Just because you didn't see me doesn't mean that I wasn't there"
11. "Take a walk in my shoes before you judgr me"
12. "Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present"
13. "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didnt"
14. "The deeper the 'past' and the 'present' pull you down, the higher the 'future' will lift you up"
15. "One of the most adventurous things left us is to bed. For no one can lay a hand on our dreams"
16. "Don't you hate it when things change just when you started loving the way things are now?"
17. "Be like a candle which burns itself but gives light to others"
18. "We do not know the value of our moments until they have become a memory"
19. "Old flames can sometimes burn twice"
20. "Just because I smile doesn't mean that I'm happy, because it takes one smile to cover a million tears"
21. "Don't allow your wounds to turn you into a person you are not"
22. "There's always a bit of something hidden when you say nothing"
23. "Life's not about the people who act true to your face. It's about the people who remain true behind your
24. "Everyone has a secret that will never be told"
25. "You may shoot me with you words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefullness,
26. "Well all have problems; the way we solve them is what makes us different"
27. "Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep"
28. "When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it"
29. "Don't judge a book by its cover. Because what you see on the outside, could be a whole different story on
30. "You know something is wrong when you can't remember the last time you were truly happy"
31. "I read because it takes me away, away to a place where anything is possible"
32. "You try so hard to believe that everything happens for a reason, yet theres not one reason in the world that
33. "You may kill the dreamer, but you will never destory the dream"
34. "I'll neever hesitate to keep on walking, because after every storm will always come the sun"
35. "Everything happens for a reason. I will stand for that until the day I die"
36. “The truly fearless think of themselves as normal“
37. "A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do"
38. "Love is like falling down... in the end you're left hurt, scarred, and with a memory of it forever"
39. "You asked me what was wrong, I smiled and said nothing, when you turned around and a tear came down
40. "Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow; we must fail in order to know. Sometimes our vision only
41. "I'm so paranoid of getting hurt. I am always getting my heart broken over and over. My heart has so many scars and bruises all over it. I don't know how much just one heart can take really, and I don't really want to find out either"
42. "You really know you love someone when all you want is for them to be happy, even if that means that you are not a part of it"
43. "Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings"
44. “I know you never meant to do everything you put me through its okay I forgive you”
45. "You never forget who you really are . . . no matter how many nights you stay awake trying to"
46. "It is such a secret place, the land of tears"
47. “It's so much easier to run than face all this pain here all alone”
48. "Tonight I'll stand in the light so you can count how many tears fall from my eyes... This time I'll be alright, my heart can't get any worse"
49. “Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I need it the most”
50. “I think that headache after you cry is just to let you know you’re still alive”
51. “Theres nothing left of me to be hurt anymore, I’ve been torn apart”
52. “You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down"
53. "For every person who doubts you, tell you you will fail, try twice as hard to prove them wrong"
54. "Always concentrate on how far you have come, rather than how far you have left to go. The difference in
55. "Follow your heart. It's the only right way out of darkness"
56. "Better a Has-been than a Never-was. But better a Never-was than a Never-tried-to-be"
57. "God has put something noble and good into every heart his hand has created. So while living on earth we
58. "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened"
59. "You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't wanna feel"
60. "Don't take life too serious. You'll never escape it alive anyway"
61. "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass . . . it's about learning to dance in the rain"
62. "Letting go doesn't mean giving up, it means accepting that some things weren't meant to be"
63. "What seems like the right thing to do could also be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life"
64. "Never allow someone to be your priority while you're just their option"
65. "You are only young once, but you can be immature forever"
66. "Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down"
67. "You don't stop playing because you grow up, you grow up because you stop playing"
68. "I like to pretend that everything's alright. Because when everybody else thinks you're fine, sometimes you forget for a while that you're not"
69. "Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. Sometimes we can't see the pain someone feels"
70. "In the end everyone will hurt you, but it's up to you to decided who is worth"
71. "Sometimes, when you're mad, you have the right to be mad, but you don't have the right to be cruel"
72. "The beauty of photographs is that they never change, even if the people in them do"
73. "The two hardest things to say in life are hello for the first time, and goodbye for the last"
74. "Pain doesn't hurt if it's all you've ever felt"
75. "I don't want to be your whole life . . . just your favourite part"
76. "I love sleep. My life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake"
77. "Our tears are what happenns when it rains deep inside our own hearts and we cannot hold the rain any
78. "Pain never really goes away; you just elevate and get used to it by growing stronger"
79. "Sometimes you just have to smile, pretend everything's okay, hold back the tears and just walk away"
80. "The hardest part about moving forward is not looking back"
81. "We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere"
82. "There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book"
83. "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new"
84. "Fake smiles can only hold in your tears for so long"
85. "There are so many people out there who will tell that you can't. What you've got to do it turn around and
86. "Most people run because, deep down, they want to be chased"
87. "Sometimes you just have to jump off the bridge and hope to God that you learn to fly on the way down"
88. "Crying is how your body speaks when your mouth can’t explain all the pain"
89. "When a girl cries, it’s not usually over one thing. It’s built up anger and emotions that she has been holding in for too long"
90. "They say follow your heart, but what if your heart’s in a million pieces, which piece do you follow?"
91. "Cry as hard as you want to, but just make sure that when you’re finished, you never cry for the same
92. "Life is like writing with a pen. You can cross out your past by you can’t erase it"
93. "Fake smiles can only hold in your tears for so long"
94. "When you love someone, they never get lost; wherever they go, they are still somewhere in your heart and as long as they know that, they will always know that when they find you, they find themselves once again"
95. "There are people in life you learn to live with, there are people you know you can’t live without, and then
96. "When you look at a person, any person, remember that every has a story. Everyone has gone through
97. "You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only option you have"
98. "It’s funny. In school you’re taught a lesson, and then given a test. But in life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson"
99. "You’ve got three choices in life: Give up, give in, or give it your all"
100. "Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else
101. "Life is like a snow globe. It’s often the prettiest after it’s been turned upside-down"
102. "You put on a good show but I’d bet that you’re suffering more than you let anyone know"
103. "A lot of people say that people can’t change. I think they’re wrong. My theory is that people can change.
104. "Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart, no matter how strong you are"
105. "You wanna be really great? Then have the courage to fail big and stick around. Make them wonder why
106. "Every tear has it’s own reason. Every smile has its own season"
107. "If it comes down between what your heart is telling you and what your brain is telling you. Listen to your heart, because that’s why you want more"
108. "Remember, every flower that ever bloomed had to go through a whole lot of dirt to get there"
109. "There are three things that should never get broken; a toy, a promise and a heart"
110. "If you can find a way to laugh at anything, nothing really hurts that bad"
111. "Missing someone gets easier because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw
112. "Late at night when the entire world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you. And I wish on a star that
113. "It’s not a good-bye, only a long I’ll see you later"
114. "The worst way to miss someone is when hey are right beside you and yet you can never have them"
115. "The less you talk the more people think about your words"
116. "I am absolutely imperfect. And I love it"
117. "If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it"
118. "If you look inside a girl’s heart, you’d see how much she really cries, you’ll find hidden secrets, best friends and lies, but what you’ll see the most is how hard it is to stay strong when nothing is right and everything is wrong"
119. "You can listen to a song and learn the words, but, if you’re lucky, you can listen to a song and know the
120. "Just remember, behind all those clouds is always a blue sky"
121. "Being quiet doesn’t always mean you don’t have something to say"
122. "Sometimes, life will kick you around, but sooner or later, you realize you’re not just a survivor. You’re a
123. "Go ahead, say it. You want to run away from everything. But you know one thing: you can’t run away from yourself"
124. "Thinking that you are forgotten is one thing, but knowing you are is another"
125. "Don't push your hopes up too high. Don't expect too much, because the higher you are, the deeper you might fall"
126. "In life, you're going to be left out, talked about, lied to, and used, but you have to deiced who;s woth your tears and who's not"
127. "A goodbye isn't painful unless you're never going to say hello again"
128. "Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer
129. "Sometimes the best things in life happen by accident"
130. "God might have taken something from you now but he will neve rleave you empty handed"
131. "The longest journey begins with a single step"
132. "In life there are 1000 reasons to cry, 100 reasons to smile, 10 reasons to keep going and 1 reason to care"
133. "Life is a figt, and in that fight it doesn't matter how hard you hit or how well you fight. What matters is how hard you can get hit, and keep fighting"
134. "I can't remember the last time I wasn't broken"
135. "Life has many chapters for us. One bad chapter doesn't mean the end of the book"
136. "Death is not the most tragic loss in life. The most tragic loss is what dies inside while your still alive"
137. "Sometimes it just feels best to cry so our hearts can express itself in a way that words can't"
138. "The heart feels what the eyes cannot see and knows what the mind cannot understand"
139. "Don't let the sadness of your past or the fear of your future ruin the hapiness of your present"
140. "I'm not saying I'm perfect. In fact, I'm far frm it; I'm just saying I'm worth it"
141. "While others live their dreams, I survive my nightmares"
142. "It doesn't matter what cards you're dealt in life, what matters is how well you play them"
143. "You want a new life, but you take the new one you get every morning for granted"
144. "I guess everyone has their reasons for keeping people away, an instinct to protect yourself from getting
145. "It's hard to give up something you've always wanted"
146. "I thought I lost you but then I realized that you were never mine"
147. "The brave don't live forever, but the cautious don't live at all"
148. "Living is easier with your eyes closed"
149. "Time is the cruelest teacher; first she gives you the test, then teaches you the lesson"
150. "If you are honest and frank, people may chest you. Be honest and frank anyway"
151. "Sometimes I don't want to speak or talk, because I am afraid that those tears may fall"
152. "Never sell yourself short because of the things you've been through; you could be playing a key role in
153. "Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will"
154. "If I can help somebody as I pass along, if I can cheer somebody with a word or song, if I can show
155. "When life comes at you, come back twice as hard"
156. "If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies"
157. "People fear death even more than pain. It's strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over" (this is the reason I'm not afraid to die)
158. "No man is ever worth your tears, ad the one that is, will NEVER make you cry"
159. "The one who ignores you is the one who notices you the most. So don't think that they don't"
160. "When life has torn us down to a crying, uncontrollable, emotional wreck, that is when we truly know who we are"
161. "Life is good, so smile! Even if you want to kill somebody"
162. "Life can never be perfect, but you can always see it in a perfect way"
163. "There's always a wild side to an innocent face"
164. "Behind every smile is a tear"
165. "Smile. It gives you an excuse to tell yourself why no one's asking what's wrong"
166. "You just have to realize that people are going to stay in our hearts, even when their not in our lives"
167. "Not all who wander are lost"
168. "The darkest hours hold the brightest dreams"
169. "Beautiful pictures are developed from negatives in a dark room. So if you see darkness in your life be reassured that a beautiful picture is being prepared"
170. "It's amazing what you can hide just by putting on a smile"
171. "No smile is more beautiful than the one that struggles through the tears"
172. "Everyone gets hit by life, but it's about how many hits you can take to keep moving forward"
173. "A certain situation can change things in a way you never imagined"
174. "Life only gets complicated when hearts get involved"
175. "There's always a bit of something missing when you say nothing"
176. "Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep"
177. "See yourself through the eyes of those who love you. You'll find those eyes are much less judgemental"
178. "Isn't it weird how you can look at pictures and remember the story behind them but look at the picture and not remember the person in them?"
179. "To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing it's best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight"
180. "I don't think of you as a crush anymore . . . you're more like a bad habit that I can't shake"
181. "You think you've been through a lot? Well I've been through it al, been to hell and back. You think you're scared? Well I'm freaking terrified"
182. "Life isn't hard. People with their needless complications and unnecessary lies make it that way"
183. "Sometiems you have to be apart from the people you love, but that doesn't make you love them any less. Sometimes it makes you love them even more"
184. "Life has a wway or working things out for the best, but it takes it's sweet time"
185. "Never regret what made you smile. Just learn from the tears that followed"
186. "Just because you turn your back doesn't mean your shadow has to change"
187. "I don't care if anyone doesn't like me. I was not born into this world to entertain everyone"
188. "If you don't know me, then good luck. I;m pretty tired of explaining myself"
189. "Nobody can be happy all the time. It's not healthy to keep your hurt in or your tears. So let them flow. But once they are out, wipe them away, put a smile on your face, and walk away from whatever or whoever made you hurt"
190. "Today, history will repeat itself. But you know what? This time, I'm ready"
191. "It's not what people call you, it's what you answer to"
192. "Give all to love; obey thy heart"
193. "Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add colour to my sunset sky"
194. "Tears of joy are like the summer rain drops pierced by sunbeams"
195. "If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without"
196. "I can't believe that God put us on this world to be normal"
197. "For everyone of us that succeeds, it's because there's somebody there to show you the way out"
198. "The greatest glory in living, lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall"
199. "People see God every day, they just don't recognize him"
200. "For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness"
201. "It's never too late to be what you might have been"
202. "To be old and wise, you must first have to be young and stupid"
203. "Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it"
204. "If you win through bad sportsmanship, that's no real victory"
205. "The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be"
206. "What God intended for you goes far beyond anything you can imagine"
207. "No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end"
208. "Laughter is timeless"
209. "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional"
210. "Not all who wander are lost"
211. "Letting go is hard to do, esspecially when you never got a proper goodbye to begin with"
212. "It ain't over til it's over"
213. "I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death"
214. "Sleep is good, death is better; but, of course, the best thing would to not have been born at all"
215. "After your death, you'll be waht you were before your birth"
216. "You have two options: give up, or fight like hell"
217. "Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met"
218. "From an Angel's wings to a falling sky, God made everything. Except an unbreakable heart"
219. "Beauty is in the breakdown"
220. "It takes a while to do anything worth while"
221. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
222. "Dancing is the loftiest, the most moving, the most beautiful of the arts, because it is no mere translation or abstraction from life; it is life itself"
223. "Love is not a feeling, it's an ability"
224. "A heart that truly loves never forgets"
I promise to remember Bella
I promise to obey traffic laws
I promise to remember Carlisle
I promise to to remember Rosalie
I promise to remember Nessie
I promise to remember Jasper
Yes, I promise to remember Twilight
THE ELEVEN QUOTES I LIVE BY ARE:
Twilight pairings I hate:
Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is.
Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’.
Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever.
Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hogwarts has seen in a while.
Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her.
Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’.
Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy.
Draco Malfoy … disagrees.
Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand.
Ron Weasley … is very afraid.
Dean Thomas ... is wondering if Ron Weasley got put into the right house.
Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thank you very much.
Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat.
Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out.
George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry.
Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter.
James Potter … doesn’t believe her.
Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’.
Sirius Black … killed by drapery.
Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences.
Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane.
Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush.
Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’.
Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if Harry Potter were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence.
Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.
Slytherins … will push someone else off.
Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.
Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.
Marauders Code of Conduct:
1. Slytherin are scum and should be hated with a passion
Gringotts Wizarding Bank Poem:
Which is your favorite Harry Potter book? Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Which is your favorite Harry Potter movie? Deathly Hallows Part 2
Who is your favorite HP character(s)? Fred and George Weasley, Tonks, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, and Luna Lovegood
But what house would you think you'll be in? Hufflepuff, because I'm loyal, extremely nice, impartial, fair and hard-working
Which ghost within Hogwarts is your favorite? Sir Nicholas de Mimsy Pormington
What subject in Hogwarts do you like the best? Defense Against the Dark Arts
Who is your favorite teacher in Hogwarts? Professor Lupin
Which position would you want to be in for Quidditch? Chaser
Which position in Quidditch do you think fits you the most? Seeker, because I'm some and agile
Who do you want to make friends with? Fred and George, Sirius, Tonks, Justin, or Luna
If you were in Hogwarts, who would be your best buddy? Angelina Johnson
Why would he/she be your best buddy? We both get into a little trouble every now and then, we both hang out with a lot of guys but have two really good girlfriends, and we both have at least two friends who pull pranks and get into trouble a lot
Which character in the book can you relate to? Angelina Johnson
What pet would you get? An owl named Midnight
If's (if questions):
If you happened to discover the Mirror of Erised, what would you see in it? Me hugging my nanny McCormick (she died a few years ago and I really miss her)
If your friend was pulled into the Whomping Willow by a black dog, would you jump in and rescue him/her? Of course! My friend could get hurt! And besides, no man (or woman) left behind
If Sirius Black turned up on your doorstep, what would be your reaction? Be like "oh my god! Brandon bring me the camera! Padfoot is on our doorstep!" and then hug him.
What would be his reaction to your reaction? Get this girl off of me!!!
If you found out you could speak Parseltongue, who would you tell (characters in the HP book)? Luna, Harry because he is one too, and Professor Dumbledore (obviously)
If you landed yourself in the same situation as Harry was in with Umbridge's detention, would you tell anyone about the marks on your hand? Only one person just to get it off my chest but no one else
Who do you want to go to the Yule Ball with? Fred or George Weasley
Post a character that has the same hair color as you do. Luna Lovegood (except a little mine is a little bit darker)
Post a character that has the same eye color as you. Remus Lupin
What color comes into your mind when Sirius Black is mentioned? Black
What color comes into your mind when Tonks is mentioned? Pink
What color comes into your mind when Ron is mentioned? Red
What color comes into your mind when Hermione is mentioned? Yellow
What color comes into your mind when Harry is mentioned? Blue
What color comes into your mind when Draco is mentioned? White
If you got hold of a bottle of Felix Felicis, what would you drink it for? Passing all my final exams (which I haven't done in all the years that I have had to write them)
Do you like the books more or the movies? The books because they give more details
Who's your favorite out of the Marauders? Sirius
What would your Patronus take shape in? Swallow
What would be your Animagus form? Wolf
What subject do you want to be the best in? Defense Against the Dark Arts
This or that:
Sirius Black or Remus Lupin? Sirius
Severus Snape or Sirius Black? Sirius
Hermione or Cho? Hermione
James Potter or Snape? James
Hagrid or Snape? Hagrid
The Marauders or The Golden Trio? The Marauders
Ability to become Invisible or become an Animagus? Animagus
Harry or Ron? Ron
Fleur or Tonks? Tonks.
Hermione or Ginny? Ginny
Cedric Diggory or Viktor Krum? Cedric
Luna Lovegood or Cho Chang? Luna
Dumbledore or Peeves the Poltergeist? Dumbledore
Aragog or Grawp? Grawp
Zonko's Joke Shop or Honeydukes? Honeydukes
Bertie Botts' Every Flavour Beans or Chocolate Frogs? Chocolate Frogs
Death Eaters or Aurors? Aurors
Dumbledore or Voldemort? Dumbledore
Bellatrix Lestrange or Narcissa Malfoy? Narcissa
Would you rather go through the first task or the third task in the Triwizard Tournament? Second
Favourite TV Shows: (In order of favouritism)
1. Teen Wolf
FAVOURITE QUOTES FROM TV SHOWS:
Teen Wolf (Season 1):
Stiles: How in holy hell is that not the worst part, Scott?!
Stiles: You know, I could just leave your werewolf ass for dead out in the middle of the road
Derek: Start the car or I'll ripe your throat out. With my teeth
Derek: Cut off my arm or I'm gonna cut off your head
Stiles: Scott, you just saved a life time of nightmares, man
Jackson: Just get Stiles' useless dad to get someone down here with a loaded gun and a decent aim
Lydia: What the hell is a Stiles?
Stiles: So, your gunna go to a dance your not alowed to go to, without a date, a tux or a ride with werewolves and werewolf hunters all out to get your little werewolf ass.
Melissa McCall (Scott's mom): Okay, dumbass, listen. I'm going to let you in on a little secret, women love words
Alpha: His username is Allison? His password is also Allison?
Stiles: And you're a Mac guy. Does that go for all werewolves or is that just a personal preference?
Stiles: Well I shouldn't say I told you so, 'cause it's not strong enough. How about, I'm always right and you should listen to whatever I have to say, and never disagree ever for the sake of your wolvlihood.
Lydia: That was fun. Any more lethal weapons you wanna try out?
Stiles: You swing for a different team but you still play ball, don't ya Danny boy.
Scott: Your mind's blank? You can't think of anything to say?
Stiles: I'm not dying here. I'm not dying at school.
Scott: What do we do?
Scott It smells terrible in here anyway.
Scott: This house is like the frickin' Wal Mart of guns!
Stiles: If you go to her house today and squander that colossal opportunity, I swear to God I'll have you de-balled.
Mr. Stilinksi: Do you listen in on all of phone calls?
Stiles: Two joggers found a body in the woods.
Mr. Stilinski: Why would this kid want most of the 2006 swim team and its coach dead?
Scott: Why should I apologize?
Scott: She's completely ignored Stiles the past 10 years
Erica: Stiles, you make a good Batman
Stiles: I got it: kill Jackson. Problem saved
Mr. Stilinski: Not exactly your type of club
Guy: Does that mean I could?
Stiles: You know, sometimes I reall begin to question this "friendship."
Coach: The bigger they are, the bigger they are
Stiles: (to Lydia) I think you look really beautiful when you cry
Coach: McCall, I don't know why, but your pain gives me a special kind of joy
Scott: What are they doing?
Jackson: When I was with Lydia, you should have seen the scratch marks she left on me. What do you think she's gonna do with a set of real claws
Mr. Leahy: Trust me, if he saw a naked girl outside a computer screen, he'd remember
Allison: You okay?
Pretty Little Liars:
Lucas: It was just an accident.
Ali: Shy in the streets, sexy in the sheets.
Aria: He's telling everyone that him and Emily had sex last night
Alison: Two can only keep a secret if one of them is dead.
Hanna: You don't think her ear is in here do you?
Ashley: Hanna, compassion.
Spencer: I know every club. I came close to joining The Madrigals.
Hanna: If it needs a tent, it's a circus.
Emily: Can we get out of here? My goosebumps are getting goosebumps.
Hanna: Jenna is scary enough with four senses. Can you imagine what she'd do to us with all five?
Hanna: Maybe he's just bringing raw meat to Jenna's cat.
Hanna: I don't want to talk about it.
Spencer: Mona is five feet of insidious snark with a side ponytail,and I just -- I wanna grab it, and I wanna yank it really, really hard.
Aria: It's all fun and sexy until someone hacks up a hair ball.
Hanna: I thought talking to empty chairs is the kind of thing people come here to stop doing.
Emily: If lying was a crime, we'd all be in jail.
Favourite Movie Quotes:
His scar had not pained him in nineteen years. All was well -the last line of the series, The Deathly Hallows
It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends -Albus Dumbledore, Philosipher's Stone
My eyes aren't glistening with the ghosts of my past! -Harry Potter, Goblet of Fire
You're a little scary sometimes, you know that? Brilliant, but scary -Ron Weasley
What happened in the dungeon between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so naturally, the whole school knows -Albus Dumbledore, Philosipher's Stone
If he raided our house he'd have to put himself under arrest -Ron Weasley, Chamber of Secrets
Can you believe our luck? Out of all the trees we could've hit we hit the one that hits back -Ron Weasley, Chamber of Secrets
Oh, it's me. I'm exteremly famous -Ron Weasley, The Deathly Hallows
You know what, Harry? If he doesn't stop trying to save your life he's going to kill you -Ron Weasley, Chamber of Secrets
It is our choices, Harry, that show who we are far more than our abilities -Albus Dumbledore, The Deathly Hallows
Remember if the time should come that you have to choose between what is right and what is easy, remember a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort -Albus Dumbledore, Goblet of Fire
George: Well, that's where the plan scuppered. Obviously there's no chance in all of us getting a piece of your hair unless you cooperate Fred: Yeah, thirteen of us against one bloke who can't use magic; we've got no chance, The Deathly Hallows
The fact remains he can move faster than Severus Snape when confronted with shampoo if he wanted to -Fred Weasley, The Deathly Hallows
Why spiders? Why couldn't it be follow the butterflies? -Ron Weasley, Chamber of Secrets
To the well orginized mind, death is the next great adventure -Albus Dumbledore, The Deathly Hallows
You fail to regonize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow up to be -Albus Dumbledore, Order of the Pheonix
Voldemort himself created his own worst enemy -Albus Dumbledore, The Deathly Hallows
Do not pity the dead. Pity the living, and above all, pity those who live without love -Albus Dumbledore, The Deathly Hallows
[Viola has a hissy fit]
Ruby: [fighting Viola for the nut-tainted gravy] I think you dislocated my vagina.
Ruby: Fix your hair. You look like a damn cockatoo.
Viola Fields: The flower girls are drunk again!
Charlotte 'Charlie' Cantilini: And about the holidays...
Viola Fields: I cannot believe she compared me to Gertrude!
Viola Fields: I thought you were dead, but evil doesn't die so easily.
Viola Fields: [Ruby and Viola arguing at the car] What's wrong with you?
Viola Fields: That slut is practically throwing herself on him!
Ruby: [to Kevin] You're bringing a girl home... now? She's just got off from the funny farm!
Charlotte 'Charlie' Cantilini: Where's your bridesmaid dress?
FAVOURITE FANFICTIONS TO READ:
Bold the ones that fit you
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste this onto your profile.
Try Not to Cry
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Things A Girl Wants But Would Never Ask For:
1) Touch her waist
2) Share secrets with her
3) Actually talk to her
4) Give her your hoodie
5) Kiss her slowly
6) Hug her
7) Hold her
8) Laugh with her
9) Invite her somewhere
10) Hang out with her and your friends together
11) Smile with her
12) Take pictures with her
13) Pull her onto her lap
14) Tell her that your glad she’s yours
15) Make her laugh
16) Call her just to say good night
I Wanna Die:
You see that girl over there, laughing and having the time of her life? You’d see her and think to yourself “damn, I wanna be her. Her life is perfect.” She has perfect grades, perfect friends, and a perfect family. You envy her because she’s always smiling and laughing. If you knew her, I mean, if you really knew her, would you still want to be her? Would you still envy her? If you knew the pressure she has to get good grades. It’s not that she doesn’t want to get good grades, she does, but just the pressure from everyone, to live up to her sister, id overwhelming and her friends, well, they know nothing about her. Even though they have been best friends for years, she doesn’t tell them anything about her life. For all they know she’s “fine.” Her family . . . what family? She hasn’t spoken to her parents in weeks. When they do, it’s not talking. It’s yelling. She doesn’t like fighting with her parents but she’s not going to sit there while they’re in her face, accusing her of something she didn’t do. You see her many times, hanging out with her friends, outside of school, and you think to yourself, “wow, her parents must trust her a lot and let her go anywhere.” In truth, she had just been kicked out of her house, once again, and uses the excuse of going out so no one knows what’s going on. This girl, whom you envy, secretly hates herself. Have you ever wondered why she always wearing a sweater, and when she’s not, bracelets ride up her arms? She hopes you don’t because behind those sweaters and bracelets are years of pain. Old, new, and fresh scars cover her pale white wrists. She hates herself. She hates her life. She hates basically everything. Now ask yourself, do you still envy her?
What To Do:
You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before, she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect—you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh because you think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there
When a girl is silent she is either:
a) over thinking
b) tired of asking
c) falling apart
d) crying inside
e) all of the above
New's Year Eve Heartbreak:
She was drinking at a party,
Before you talk, listen.
Girl: I’m depressed
Thinking Of You:
When nights are long and friends are few,
She comes off as strong, but maybe she fell asleep crying.
It takes a boy to say “I like you”
Things that make you feel good:
1. Falling in love.
Really Really Sweet:
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Girl runs away in shock and pain and Boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
This is super sweet. Really... If you read it and think that it's sweet, copy and paste it into your profile!
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart
A STORY OF A SAD GIRL:
Her name was Susie
The girl who seemed unbreakable . . . broke.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage.
-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.
25 Weird and Random things to Do in Class
1. Try to develop psychic powers, then use them.
Voldemort: Knock knock
A blond stormed up to the front desk of the library and yelled, “I have a complaint!” “Yes, Ma’am?” said the libararian, looking at her. “I burrowed a book last week and it was horrible!” Confused by her complaint, the libarairan said “What was wrong with it?” “It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!” said the blond. The librarian nodded and said, “Ahh, you must be the person who took our phone book.”
Man 1: . . . dude, I wasn’t that drunk
Did you hear about the blond that tried to drown a fish?
Guy: Haven't I seen you some place before?
Guy: Can I buy you a drink?
Guy: How did you get to be so beautiful?
Guy: Your face must turn a few heads.
Guy: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
Guy: I think I could make you very happy.
Guy: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Guy: Can I have your name?
Guy: want to see a movie?
Guy: Where have you been all my life?
Teacher: Johnny, tell me the name of three great kings who brought joy to life.
Little Johnny walked to a pimp with a dead frog in one hand and a stack of hundreds in the other and said: Give me your hooker with the most STDs. The pimp give him the hooker and says: Just wondering, lil’homie, but why would you need STDs for? Little Johnny said: Well, I’m gonna fuck her, get STDs, then fuck my babysitter and give her STDs. Than my dad is gonna fuck her, and give him STDs. Than he’s gonna fuck my mom and give her STDs. And than she’s gonna fuck the mailman and give him STDs, and that’s the bastard that ran over my frog!
Little Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom how to say his ABC’s, she says, “Shut up, I’m on the phone.” He goes to his sister and she replies, “Go away, faggot, I’m on the fucking phone.” He goes to his brother and he replies, “I don’t care, it doesn’t affect me.” He goes to his dad watching the game and his dad says, “Forty-nine! Sounds good to me!” Then goes to school and his teacher asks him to say his ABC’s. He says, “Shut up, I’m on the phone.” She says, “Excuse me, say your ABC’s.” He replies, “Shut up, faggot, I’m on the fucking phone.” She says, “Go to the office.” Once again, he replies, “I don’t care, it doesn’t affect me.” While in the office, the principal asks how many spankings he wanted. Johnny replied, “Forty-nine! Sounds good to me!”
Q: Why did the blond tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
"You tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try"
"For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small red stain"
"All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height"
"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry"
"I'm not perfect! I'm still the girl who pushes a door when it says pull!"
"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to"
"When life hand you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes!"
These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..
On Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
You know you live in 2000's when...
I got a new deodorant today. The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.
A six year old and a four year old are upstairs in their bedroom. “You know what?” says the six year old. “I think it’s about time we start cussing.” The four year old nods his head I approval. The six year old continues, “When we go downstairs for breakfast, I’m gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass.” The four year old agrees with enthusiasm. When the mom walks into the kitchen, and asks the six year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, “Aw, hell, Mom. I guess I’ll have Cheerios.” WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot persuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in the room and shouts, “You can stay in there until I let you out!” She then comes back downstairs, looks at the four year old, and asks with a stern voice, “And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?” “I don’t know,” he blubbers. “But you can bet your fat ass it won’t be Cheerios.”
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
After a plane crash, a blond sees a man crying.
Doctor: Congradulations! You’re pregnant!
Q: What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you?
A blond tries to hand herself from tree. Half an hour later, her friend walks by and says, “I thought you were going to hang yourself from a tree.” The blond answers, “Well, I was, but I couldn’t breath.”
What did the blond say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
I went to a birthday party,
What Could Have Been?
She could have had my eyes,