Author has written 1 story for Evangelion.
God's in his heaven, all's right with the world, but in one little corner of the universe, there is nothing more irritating than a misfile…
Eadem Mutata Resurgo
Iacturna Pacorum Los Multos
We are Aurors.
We walk in the dark alleys no other witch will enter.
We stand on the bridge, and no spell may pass.
We live for the fudge, we die for the fudge.
I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you
I'm sorry That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk
I'm sorry That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants
I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised
I'm sorry That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy"
I'm sorry That I am actually nice; not a jerk
I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things
I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club
I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy.
I'm sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date
I'm sorry That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy
I'm sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend
I'm sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around
I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work
I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.
I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care
But most of all
I'm sorry For not being sorry anymore
I'm sorry That you can't accept me for who I am
I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world.
I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...
I'm sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.
I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.
I'm Sorry That I cared
I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.
Position: Log Worshipper
Possible Book of Log Positons:
Log Worshipper: Beginning position. No requirements
Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapers) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story
Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log
OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews
OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid.
Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. c-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, a-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. even then, it is still reccommended.
Log excerpt number 231: if konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that shinobi is uneligible from using the log for a period of two months.
Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:
For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling.
For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five saplings.
For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten saplings.
For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling per square inch of detached log.
For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant twenty-five saplings.
If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If your case is proven correctly your next replacement will be half off.
'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost i weep? 'tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. the log ist thine ally, and mine kin. calling upon the log, is to call upon me. to aid thee in battle, i weep my tear of joy. and the ninja spoke: yea, thee and thine kin shall forever be blessed among me and mine kin. for thine bravery will never be forgotten.' -book of the log, song of the willow, verses 1-4
'as the log takes your place, you become the log. the log becomes you. for a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.' -book of the log, chronicle of the replacement verse 3
'you are fools! your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. and the people shook their heads. you have been denied the log for a long time, sandwalker. we cannot force you to see the glory of the log, but know this. when the time comes, and you have no other allies to call upon, the log will hear your prayers, and aid you.' -book of the log, redwood journals verses 15-16
'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. blackened and charred, the log crumbled. the ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. he made his way to the log, and wept. his companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. he spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. the forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. i thank you my friend.' -book of the log, honor of the forest canticle I, verses 78-82
'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none. -book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9
'the log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. for many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. as his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. his stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: why did you endanger yourself for me again? have you not done enough for me? and the log spoke: it is my duty, and our bond. we exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. we both play a part, for which i am content.' -book of the log, honor of the forest canticle II, verses 59-70
Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the holy log.
Friends or Best friends
FRIENDS: never ask anything to eat or drink
BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food
FREINDS: Call your parents Mr. Mrs. and grandma and grandpa
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRAMPS
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail at 2 A.M
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN we really messed up!"
FRIENDS: Would leave you if you were a criminal.
BEST FRIENDS: Are the ones you call in the middle of the night to tell them you killed someone and they would say "SHIT, what we gonna do with the body??"
FRIENDS: Would help you up if you fell
BEST FRIENDS: Would laugh at you and trip you again
FRIENDS: Never seen you cry
BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when you’re not down anymore
FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad ... Here’s a tissue"
FRIENDS: Look at you in disapproval when you do something really stupid.
BEST FRIENDS: Will be at your side doing something stupid with you.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life
FREINDS: Will leave you behind if that’s what everyone else is doing
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door
BEST FRIENDS: Would walk right in and say ,"IM HOME what we having for dinner?"
FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
BEST FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell
FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life
FRIENDS: ask you why you're crying
BEST FRIENDS: already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry
FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will knock the shit out of them!
FRIENDS: would say "He wasn't good enough for you"
BEST FRIENDS: would walk up to the person who broke your heart and yell at the top of there lungs "IT'S BECAUSE YOUR GAY ITSN'T IT!!"
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, “drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste”
FREINDS: Will ignore this
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE (Found on BlackSaint's Profile)
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
RIP We shall remember
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it?
Repost this if you truly believe in God.
PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what, and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you.
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven
She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room.
She said:'How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right?
When can I see him?'
The surgeon said, 'I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make
Sally said, 'Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more?
Where were you, God, when my son needed you?'
The surgeon asked, 'Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the
nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university.'
Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran
her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. 'Would you like a lock of
his hair ?' the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's
hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.
The mother said, 'It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for
Study. He said it might help somebody else. 'I said no at first, but Jimmy said,
'Mom, I won't be using it after I die Maybe it will help some other little boy
spend one more day with his Mom.' She went on, 'My Jimmy had a heart of gold.
Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could.'
Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending
most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on
the seat beside her in the car.
The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She
carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her
She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room
exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging
his pillow, cried herself to sleep.
It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a
folded letter. T he letter said:
I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you,
or stop loving you, just 'caus e I'm not around to say 'I Love You'. I will
always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other
again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely,
that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you
decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys
do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know.
Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and
Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take
a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly.
And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw
Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD ! And guess what, Mom ?
I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important.
That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye
and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom
? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I
think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to
you. Go d said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked
Him 'Where was He when I needed him ?' 'God said He was in the same place with
me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is
with all His children.
Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To
everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool ? I have to
give God His pen back now He needs it to write some more names in th e Book of
Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food
will be great.
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore The cancer is all gone.
I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to
see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get
me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?
Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.
If you would do this for your parents as well, please copy and paste the story this and add your name to the list: UniqueMelody, Crysteelia, DigiDestined of Balance, Jingo4754, Komada, Panda-kun77, Toby860 (Saw this on a dudes profile, the one before my name here and I had to agree with his statement "I couldn't help but cry!" I cried too! I'm a sucker for these kinds of sad things.)
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