Author has written 6 stories for Teen Titans, X-overs, and Homestuck.
SUPER-IMPORTANT-UPDATE-FEBRUARY 6 2014...5:36AM: OH MAN GUYS ITS BEEN FOREVER SINCE IVE EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT POSTING THINGS ON HERE. IM SORRY ITS JUST THAT...THINGS ARE... COMPLICATED. IVE STILL BEEN WRITING, JUST NOT ANYTHING PEOPLE WANT POSTED, LIKE MY ZODIAC SERIES (WHICH I MAY JUST RESTART BC GODDAMN I SUCK @ WRITING SUSPENSE... I STILL DO, BUT NOT THE POINT. ANYWAYS, I HAVENT TOUCHED MY FLASHDRIVE SINCE LAST YEAR. I HAVENT BEEN WRITING ANY OF THE STORIES IVE GOT ON IT, PLUS... I THINK MY TEEN TITANS FANDOM DIED WHEN THEY CAME OUT W/ THAT LOUSY EXCUSE OF A SHOW, TEEN TITANS GO!. SERIOUSLY, I WAS SO FUCKIN' HYPED AND NOW... I AM SEVERELY DISAPPOINTED! I TOTALLY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A CONTINUATION OF THE ORIGINAL SERIES, NOT SOME BULLSHIT ADVENTURES OF CHIBI-TITANS, WHICH ARE ADMITTINGLY ADORABLE. I DONT CARE IF ADMITTINGLY IS A WORD OR NOT, I USE IT ALL THE TIME, THEREFORE, ITS A WORD. ITS NOW 5:41 AM ON A SCHOOL DAY, THURSDAY. IM STARVING, BUT DONT WANNA GET UP TO GO GET FOOD. I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR ALL THE LIL KIDDIES READING MY FOUL LANGUAGE. FIDDLESTI%. THERE. ALSO, IM SORRY FOR MY HARSH CAPS. I TRIED TO MAKE THIS LOOK IMPORTANT. IT SHOULD CAPTURE YOUR ATTENTION NOW THO. OKAY IM OFF. HAVE A NICE LIFE WHILE I FIGURE SHIT OUT. BYE. *FLYS OFF INTO SUNRISE*
(My new fav video:
Note: very powerful insults involved. Watch at your own risk
Curse words are mentioned...no, wait, that's basically the whole video.)
Guidelines for my Shipping Wall FF (bc, aparantly, posting it as the 1st ch of my FF is 'against the rules'):
Alrite! Thisll b fun! Im creatin a shippin wall fur NE pairing of NE kind. My fandoms r: Kingdom Hearts, Soul Eater, a bit of Sailor Moon, Hetalia, Homestuck (duh! ware else would I get my shippin wall idea?), Teen Titans, Sonic the Hedgehog, Disney movies, Harry Potter, Warriors, Seekers, Maximum Ride, Final Fantasy Fables (Ive only played Chocobo's Dungeon, tho), My little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Thundercats, Portal (but ive only seen the 2nd game). I will update this list if any more come to me.
Edit: I suck at Crossovers. Just saying.
What's grosser than gross?
A quote my friend Teraxx said: "There is not I in Slut or Ugly, but there is a U."
Random quotes to remember (I got this from Katwizzle)
"Stand up for what you believe in, even if it means standing alone."
"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat."
"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...
Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics
If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable
Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese. There are five people in my familly so it must be one of them. It's ether my mum or dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu. But i think it's Colin.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.
If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.
Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good!
I posted these because they were funny XP
-I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours.
-If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! (
-Almond chocolate milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!!
-Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
-I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.
-I am worse than evil... I am the author!!
-People are boring; they are only amusing if you push them down a flight of stairs
-If you like being hyper, being random, being crazy, and showing off your awesominity, copy and paste this in your profile!
-Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
-I don't obsess! I think intensely.
-Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more.
-Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that.
-You're like my sister...half sister...weird kid that lives down the street that eats nothing but mayonnaise on Saltines?
-I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to "magically wrap around" Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody! A rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "oh crap, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!"
-'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!
-Silence is golden; Duct tape is SILVER
-Candy is good for you. Why? Bouncing off walls is good excercise.
-It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
I agree with the dictionary...
Put this is your profile if you too know that the Organization will make a kick butt return in Kingdom Hearts III!
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, blissfulmemories, Misfit Band Geek, Inuyashagrl101, Giggle Wiggles, Fox-Zodiac, Leafstar of LyokoKonoha,MoonlightSparklezLonelyUeki,Xkarz,
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile. (Years ago, he did get a spoonful ONCE...)
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you know a video game character or video game weapon that needs to exist, copy and paste this into your profile
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, RitzCrackerKitty, WindOfDancingFlames, sailorstar165, Xkarz,
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost Please if you would Pass this around I'd be happy if you could Don't smash this on the ground If you pass this on Maybe people will cry Just keep this in heart For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye" Now you have two choices 1) repost and show you care 2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes funny if you leave it out for too long. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
Anime is life. Manga is life. Life is good. Parents suck for not buying you more life. If you agree, copy and paste this to your profile.
IF YOU WANT A WARRIORS MOVIE, COPY AND PASTE THIS TO YOUR PROFILE AND ADD YOUR NAME TO THE LIST: Squirrelflightlover, Mudheart, xxouchibitmytonguexx kingdom nice Xkarz
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off!
If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely, copy and paste this into your profile.
Her name was Auroura
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend was a little toy bear
She always talked to it
Until her parents unlock the door
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
SECTION ONE: The "Favorite Things" Questions
1. Your favorite KH guy?
2. Your favorite KH girl?
3. Your least favorite KH guy? Why?
Saix. He's a stuck-up whore who hates eveyone except Mansex.
4. Your least favorite KH girl? Why?
Larxene. She is an asshole fit for Vexen
5. Favorite World? (Includes both KH1 and KH2)
Halloween Town, Pride Lands, and Port Royal.
6. Least Favorite World?
In KH2, Atlantica. IT WAS SO GAY!!!!
7. Favorite Weapon? (Includes both KH1 and KH2)
Any weapon with high strength.
8. Least Favorite Weapon?
9. Fave. Summon? (includes both KH1 and KH2)
I don't really use summons so...I'd say Tink since she heals you.
10. Fave. Form? (aka. Sora's Forms)
Final Form, even though it makes you look a little like Xemnas.
11. Favorite Pairing? (includes yaoi coupling) Why?
Marluxia and Vexen. Just seems to fit together.
12. Least Fave. Pairing? (includes yaoi couples) Why?
Larxene with anyone. It's so gay.
13. Any cool KH crack pairings you've heard of?
14. Weirdest Pairing(s) You've Ever Heard Of?
Demyx being the Orgy's bitch.
15. Any "KH-pet-peeves" you have?
Saix. He should be killed more painfully. That would make me happy. Also, the graphics in KH1 for cutscenes sucked. Atlantica was annoying, Saix is a bastard, Vexen was too hard, Vexen's had a creepyass laugh, Axel shouldn't have commited suicide, and I'll have to think of more.
16. Fav. Partner in KH? (includes both KH1 and KH2)
Umm...Auron, Goofy, Jack, Jack (both kh games), ummm...Basically anyone except Donald.
SECTION TWO: Do you believe it, or not believe it?
17. Do you believe in the Xemnas/Saix theory?
YES!!! Wait...what's that?
18. Do you believe that Zexion is emo?
I used to, but I researched him on villains.wikia.com and understood him a bit more.
19. Do you believe that Marluxia is gay?
HELL YEAH!!!!! YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO ASK!!!!
20. Do you believe that Kairi is the most annoying character in KH?
SECTION THREE: Answer Yourself!
21. If Roxas had to choose either Naminé or Olette, who would you root for? Why?
Namine, it's just that obvious.
22. What's your theory on "Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep?"
It's the past, dumbasses. If you dont get that, your really stupid.
23. Was Chain of Memories a waste of time?
No, it provided what happened at Castle Oblivion so that when we played 358/2 Days, we knew what the fuck was goin' on over there.
24. If you had the choice of meeting ONE (and ONLY ONE!) KH character, who would it be?
Axel, so that I could join the Orgy and betray them by being a spy.
25. Which KH character do you relate to the most? Why?
IDK! I have Larxene's tendency to insult people, Axel's assassin abilities, Vexen's overwhelming curiousity, Sora's and Roxas' bravery, Xemnas' leadership, Xig's sense of humor, Xion's compassion, Donald's temper, Goofy's loyalty, a bit of Lux's cleverness, Zexion's brains, definetly Demy's laziness, Xig's good eyesight (wait... Is it good?) ... I'll update when I think of more...
26. What's the most embarrassing moment that ever happened to you that had something to do with KH?
Umm...definetly the time before I knew about kh when my friend said that in her fanfic she killed sora and I asked, "Why?Did she hit on Demyx or somethin'?" Then they're like, "SORA'S A DUDE!!!!!"
27. Have you ever cosplayed as a KH character? If so, who? If not, who would you like to cosplay as?
If my OC Xkarz becomes an actual KH character, then I would be her. If not, I'll cosplay Axel cuz Im as awesome as Axel.
28. The Funniest Moment in all of KH would be...?
In "Kingdom Hearts":
Umm..I haven't played that in a while...I'll get back to you on that as well...
In "Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories":
When Vexen gets assassinated. It took all my willpower not to cheer and yell profanity with joy when Vexen gets his ass handed to him hard.
In "Kingdom Hearts II":
When Saix finally dies. If I were there, I would've been like, "TAKE THAT YOU ASS-KISSIN' BASTARD!!!!!!!" and then would,ve started laughing like a maniac
Asura: You mean like me...
Xkarz: I thought I told you to fuck off!
Asura: You can't be rid of me...*laughs evilly* I'll be back...
29. The Hardest Enemy/Boss was...?
KHI: I haven't fought Seph but heard he's like living hell
CoM: Watched bro played it and it seemed to be Vexen before Twilight Town...before he dies...
KHII: XALDIN!!!!! Damn he was hard...
358/2 Days: Leechgrave in Halloween Town...I know there's one more but I can't think of it right now...
30. What was a good addition in KH2 that made it oh-so-addictive?
Playing Roxas again. And Sora's new forms and added Keyblade effects and better graphics...I could go on and on...It was WAAAAAAY better than KH1
SECTION FOUR: Decisions, Decisions...
Note: You MUST only choose one! Picking "Both" or "Neither" is unacceptable!!
31. Hayner or Pence?
Pence, he's smart and Hayner's arrogant.
32. Zexion or Marluxia?
Zexion since Marly's gay. I tolerate Zex a little bit but Marly gives me a flower-related migrane
33. Riku or Roxas?
Roxas. He's just that skilled.
34. Roxas or Sora?
Roxas. You can tell in 358/2 days when he's in the Colliseum games and he does that Keyblade thing where he slings it over his shoulder in a tight, controled fasion. He's just that skilled.
35. Axel or Demyx?
Axel, cuz he's just that awesome.
36. Kairi or Larxene?
Kairi. No questions asked.
37. AkuRoku or SoRiku?
Both equally disturb me...but I'd choose...umm...SoRiku??
38. Namixas or Namiku?
Namixas FTW. Its just that obvious.
39. Zemyx or AkuRoku?
Zemyx. I think its weird though that they made them a yaoi pairing...
40. SoKai or SoRiku?
SoKai, you dumbasses. Its so fuckin' obvious
41. Sea Salt Ice Cream or Paopu Fruit?
Sea Salt Ice Cream, but Paopu Fruit sounds good too, even though the legend is for lovers
42. Cloud or Leon?
Cloud cuz he's complicated and WAY hotter and cryptic than Squall.
43. CloTi of Clerith?
Clerith. I thought it was obvious!!
44. Simple and Clean or Passion?
Simple and Clean, I haven't heard Passion
SECTION FIVE: The Last Section!!
45. List all the KH character you've fallen for. (This includes Final Fantasy characters as well)
Axel (FTW He's FUKIN' HOT!!!!), Xigbar (His voice is EPIC!!), Luxord (Damn he's awesome!!), Roxas (He's got mad Keyblade skills!), Cloud (FTW he's hot, but not as hot as Axel), Ienzo (he's adorable even though I can't really tolerate his Nobody), Cid (Gotta luv Computer Country Folk!), I got more but I can't think of them...
46. What crossovers would you like to see with KH?
Soul Eater, Sonic the Hedgehog, Hetalia (lolol that would be HILARIOUS if you picture Sora looking at Italy with a concerned expression when Italy's doing some random Italy thing), Legend of Zelda (haven't played the game but I wanna now), The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (gotta see how that one turns out),thats all for now...
47. Does anyone in KH look like another character? List 'em all!
Ehh...not really, but Riku reminds me of Soul for some reason...
48. Which new KH game can you absolutely NOT wait for?
Kingdom hearts 3
49. Do you like KH1 or KH2 better? Why?
There's a lot of reasons why KH2 is better: 1) Cuz of Axel 2) Saix dies 3) Better graphics 4) You get to play Roxas 5) You get to beat the hell out of Mansex 6) Pride Lands. Lions baby!! 7)You still look fuckin' EPIC in Halloween Town...and the list goes on and on...
50. LAST QUESTION! What makes Kingdom Hearts one of the best games in the world!?
Lots of reasons. One is that the Disney stuff blends in w/ FF and produces this BADASS VIDEO GAME!!!!!
Who Are You In Organization XIII?
You are the leader most of the time.
You like black.
You wished/wish you were someone else.
You don't listen to others.
You like doing research.
You have bad eyesight.
You like throwing things at others when angry.
You wish you were able to teleport.
You wear your hair in a ponytail
You have/wish you had a gun.
You like windy days
You have tried to steal something precious from someone.
You like dragons.
You have/like dreadlocks.
You tried to anger someone on purpose.
You are disrespected by the young ones.
Someone has already considered you a traitor.
You are the oldest of your group.
You like experiments
You like cold days.
You are not very talkative.
You like brain games.
People are afraid of you because of your appearance. (i think so anyway)
You prefer heavy weapons rather than light ones.
You are very strong, physically speaking.
You love reading.
You are not very sociable.
You are one of the shortest of your group.
You have a very sensitive nose. (eh, more sensitive than most)
You like to elude others.
You have double-personality issues
You are more active during night rather than day.
You like wolves.
Your superior trusts you.
You have a scar on your face.
You are somewhat a pyromaniac.
You care deeply for your best friends.
You are a two-faced when you need to.
You don't like when people don't remember your name.
You have a very fiery personality.
You like music.
You know how to play a guitar.
You like rainy days.
You like swimming.
You are usually a very happy person.
You like playing cards.
You like to gamble
Your favorite color is gold.
You have stolen money from others.
You have/wished you could curse someone.
You like pink.
You like flowers.
You are plotting to overthrow your superior.
You were betrayed by someone. (i think i hav)
You are a bit of a flamboyant person.
You're the only female in your group. (i used to)
You like storms.
You're pretty agile.
You like to mock others.
You think ninjas are cool.
You love ice cream.
You are the youngest of your group.
You think people are hiding something from you.
You usually have strange dreams involving people you've never met.
You prefer afternoons rather than nights and mornings.
Im a combo of: Larxene (DAMMIT!), Demyx, Axel (FUCK YEA!!!), Zexion (only somewhat disappointed for some reason), and Vexen (GODDAMMIT!!!).
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life!
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...(lolol white dude got pwned. I AGREE WITH THE BLACK DUDE!!!! NO MORE RACISM!!!!!)
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There is no toilet paper in here"
16. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
17. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
18. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
19. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
20. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
21. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
22. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
23. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
24. Play with the automatic doors.
25. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
26. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"
27. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
28. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
29. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
30. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
31. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
32. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
33.Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
34. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
35. TP as much of the store as possible.
36. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
37. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
38. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
39. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
40. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
41. Take bets on the battle described above.
42. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
43. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
44. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
45. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
46. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
47. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
48. Two words: "Marco Polo."
49. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
50. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
51. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
52. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
53. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
54. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In.'
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their coffee addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For smuggling diamonds.'
7. Finish all your scentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy.'
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To go.'
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask 'Why don't the poems rhyme?'
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address your by your wrestling name.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I won!! I won!!'
18. When leaving the zoo, starting running towards the parking lot yelling 'Run for your lives, they're loose!'
19. Tell your children (or someone) over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go.
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