Author has written 5 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Skulduggery Pleasant series, Assassin's Creed, and Misc. Movies.
In case you've not noticed, I can only write one shots. So for future reference I think I will only be writing one shots. It doesn't matter what the category is, as long as I have basic knowledge of the category or maybe watched a few of the episodes or watched the movie/movies, then it should be fine, so as long as I've heard about it or watched it, you could ask me to write whatever you want!
YOU HAVE GOT TO BUY THIS BOOK, ORIGINALLY WRITTEN ON THIS SITE AND CAN NOW BE BOUGHT ON AMAZON AT £4.02.IT'S ABOUT THE MOVIE 'HELLBOY: THE GOLDEN ARMY'. IT'S A BOOK ON THE PRINCE NUADA OF BETHMORRAAND HIS STRUGGLE WITH LETTING GO OF HIS ANGER WITH THE HUMANS AND HOW HE GOES ABOUT SAVING HIS PEOPLE. PLEASE BUY IT. IT'S BY AN AUTHOR CALLED Gwen Farr.
IT'S CALLED 'SAVING NUADHA'.
*FIRST OF ALL, I AM GOING TO LET YOU KNOW NOW THAT IF I GET ONE REVIEW FUCKING DEMANDING A CHAPTER WHEN I WRITE IN MY OWN FREE TIME THEN THIS SITE CAN GO FUCK ITSELF, BECAUSE I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT. I HAVE SEEN IT SO MANY TIMES IN REVIEWS, I HARDLY SEE ANYTHING ELSE ANYMORE. CAUSE PEOPLE ON THIS SITE ARE SO FUCKING RUDE! ONE OF MY FAVOURITE AUTHORS ON FANFICTION HAS DESIDED THAT THEY ARE GONNA FUCK THIS SITE, CAUSE SOME READERS ARE SO FUCKING IMPATEINT WHILE WE WORK OUR BUTTS OFF TRYING TO THINK UP WHAT TO WRITE NEXT!*
Well, now that I've gotten that off my chest, lets get on to the ... lighter... mood.
My name's Katara Flame and I'm 19 years old, I live in England, but I'm Italian,
SO NO DISSIN'
I love to write fiction. But mostly I've grown to have a great liking of the movie 'Hellboy: The Golden Army' and I'm mostly gonna write about them. Mainly Prince Nuada, an OC paired up with him and his sister, Princess Nuala.
Favorite Colors: Red, Black and Silver
At my school I've been nicknamed Goth Geek 'cause my hair is black and my eyes are a light purple.
Strange. I know.
I've also been told that people with purple eyes have the most strangest lives.
I've got waist lengh black hair, a slim but muscled body and when I stare or glare at someone, they flinch and look away because I'm told that its errie 'cause I don't blink.
Add me on Facebook if you wish at : https://www.facebook.com/atramentous.stygianiron.3
Add me on Twitter if you wish at : https://mobile.twitter.com/account
HEY, SINCE I CAN'T WRITE ANYTHING WITH A DECENT PLOT, I WAS THINKING OF MAYBE ONE OF YOU HUMORING ME AND WRITING A STORY WHERE WHILE CARLISLE'S WITH THE VOLTURI AND HE COMES BACK AND HE'S GOT RED EYES.
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND A STORY THAT HAS THAT IN IT, BUT UNFORTUNATELY I HAVEN'T HAD ANY LUCK. COULD ANY OF YOU POSSIBLY HUMOR ME, AND I' M UTTERLY SUPRISED THAT NONE OF YOU WRITER'S HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT WRITING ONE LIKE IT. THE ONLY REASON THAT I'M NOT WRITING IT IS BECAUSE I SUCK AT WRITING STORIES THAT ARE MORE THAN A ONE-SHOT. AS YOU CAN VERY WELL TELL FROM MY PERCY JACKSON AND CHAOS STORY. PLEASE! PLEASE ! PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP!!!!!!!
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!
If not is said,
I couldn't believe that I could actually understand what I was reading.
The phenomenal power of the Human mind.
Acording to research at Cambridge University, it doesn't matter in what order the letters are, the only important thing is that the first and the last letters are in the right place.
The rest can be a total mess and you can still read it without a problem.
This is because the Human mind doe not read every letter by itself, but the word as a whole.
Amazing huh? Yeah and I always thought spelling was inportant! Thats so cool?
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx, Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc., AVirgoGirl, xcheergrlx3, Mrs.DiAngelo, Nico's Future Wife, DaughterofPoseidon32498, A PJO Fan, Lil Mexican, Atramentous StygianIron,
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.
When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.
When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God? Repost this if you believe in God...
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
The Percy Jackson pledge: I promise to remember Percy whenever I'm at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''
I promise to remember Tyson whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remember Rachel whenever a limo passes my car.
Yes I promise to remember PJO wherever I may go.
10 WAYS TO BE S-T-U-P-I-D
1. Ask For Directions To A Place You're Already At.
How to annoy your parents.
1. Follow them around the house everywhere.
 I need to tell you a secret. First, look at number 5.
Things to do on an Elevator
. Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:
this is this cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on (or at least, smiling)
Boy: At last, I can hardly wait!
Aftermarriage (read it backwards
You are a...
CHILD OF ZEUS
You like being in charge.
CHILD OF POSEIDON
You feel at home in the water.
CHILD OF HADES
You’re not that much of a people person. (yes)
You spend most of your time alone. (yes)
CHILD OF DEMETER
You own a garden.
CHILD OF ARES
You often start fights.
CHILD OF ATHENA
You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge.
CHILD OF APOLLO
You’re very creative and artistic.
HUNTER OF ARTEMIS
You dislike boys in general.
CHILD OF HEPHAESTUS
You have a way with tools.
CHILD OF APHRODITE
Every guy/girl swoons for you.
CHILD OF HERMES
You like pickpocketing your friends.
CHILD OF DIONYSUS
You’re the life of the party.
YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE ADDICTED TO PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS WHEN...
I.) You have sudden crazy urges to jump into the sea and see if you can breathe underwater.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS WHEN:
1.You buy everything you see with an owl or trident on it.
2.You yell “Burrito Fight!” whenever you’re in a Mexican restaurant.
3.You checked to make sure your vice-principal doesn’t have a tail.
4.You know which pages the good parts are on.
5.You suddenly hate thunderstorms.
6.You start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear.
7.You started calling your dog Mrs. O’Leary.
8.You start figuring out who your godly parent is.
9.You never looked at a ballpoint pen the same way again.
10.You have a plan to get out of school early on May 5th so you can buy The Last Olympian, read it, and still have time to do your homework.
11.You ask the cashier at the store if they stock Mythomagic cards.
12.You start doing pro/con lists in your head. During Math. When you’re supposed to be taking notes.
13.You start spelling character names out of your spelling words.
14.You start loving blue plastic hairbrushes and anyone who wields them.
15.Each day you check every fan site you know of for new information.
16.You try to figure out how much food dye you need to turn chocolate chip cookies blue.
17.You make references to it in school reports and/or to friends that haven’t read it.
18.The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, “Have you read PJO?”
19.On your trip to Washington D.C. you thought of Annabeth every time you saw a monument.
20.You yell “Mizzenmast!” whenever you enter a boat.
21.You dream about PJO every night.
22.You curse a god/goddess a lot.
23.You have one (Or more) pictures relating to PJO in your room
24.You know PJO better then most sane people
25.You have links to every great PJO site
26.You add things to the list every day
27.You know what you would do if you were Percy
28.You argue with your friends about if Nico should turn evil or not (NO! Nico don't turn evil!!)
29.At least half of your friends have read all the PJO, or are going to in the very near future
30.You wish you could find a rainbow to see if Iris messages work
31.For April Fools, you put a piece of paper over a card/cards and told your friends that they were Myth-O-Magic cards and they understood
32.Your friends all have a godly parent, and so do you, and your family, and your extended family, and your far, far, far away cuzs'
33.You are trying to learn Greek
34.You keep thinking about one of the PJO books when you go on a trip.
35.Every language you know is some form of Ancient greek.
36.You shriek everytime you see a guy with black hair and green eyes
37.You have an instant crush on Nico!
38.You just have to research more about greek mythology
39.You call up the Camp Half Blood number in LT.
40.You want to learn Latin
42.You copy/paste this onto your profile
43.About 75-100 of your fics are PJO related, even if it is a cross over
44.You have taken every test you can find about what demigodly parent you would/do/should have, and your friends have as well or are going to
45.You make sure all of your friends (Or most of them), have an idea about what you say when talking about PJO
46.Your friends (At least one), think you are obbsessed with PJO, and you agree
47.A friend (or more), think you should start taking pills and/or going to a mental doctor, because you are so obsessed
48.You have one or more things related to PJO on your school stuff, and if someone asks you why, you tell them
49.You have something on your school things (Or home things), that says 'Daughter (Or son if you're a guy) of God/goddess', and you don't even try to hide it, even if it says daughter of Name of unliked god.goddess
50.You’re nodding and smiling when you read this
51.You were so busy reading that you missed number 41
52.You are planning on adding a lot more things to this list
53.You have done at least 15 (Or more) of the above things
54.You are so obessed with PJO and the couple Percy-Annabeth, that you are proud to call yourselves supporters of Percabeth!!!
55. You try to convince your friends to read PJO ( Lol, i do that all the time...)
Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When…
-You go to the Empire State Building and you ask for the 600th Floor.
-There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!”
-Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.
-When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses.
-You burn food to see if it smells good.
-You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”
-Everyone else is creating a Twilightfamily and you create a PJO family.
-You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda…
-You sometimes try to control water.
-You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.
-You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.
-Even though notdiagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it on your God parent.
-You yell "Annabeth!" everytime you see a NY Yankees hat.
-You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video games.
-Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is a Camp shirt.
-You are a PJO character for Halloween.
-Recite lines randomly from the books.
-When you see/hear about anything myhtology-related, you talk about how it was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it.(all the time!)
-Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related.
-You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes symbol.
-You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you.
-You have dreams about PJO characters/events
-You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.
-That everytime you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.
-In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be studying Greek mythology?!"
-You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?"
-When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream "JACKSON!"
-You are known to scream names of the characters at random times.
-You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders incase of emergencies
-And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth.
You say vampires, I say DEMIGODS!
You say Rob Pattinson, I say LOGAN LERMAN!
You say Bella and Edward, I say PERCY AND ANNABETH
You say Team Edward, I say TEAM PERCY!
You say Bella, I say ANNABETH!
You say Jacob, I say NICO!
You say Jasper, I say LUKE!
You say Alice, I say THALIA!
You say Rosalie, I say SILENA!
You say the wolf pack, I say THE STOLLS!
You say Emmett, I say BECKENDORF!
You say Carlisle, I say CHIRON!
You say Esme, I say ZOE!
You say Forks, I say CAMP HALF-BLOOD!
You say Twilight, I say...PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS BABY!!!!!!!
Guy: Where have you been all my life?
Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Guy: Is this seat empty?
Guy: Your place or mine?
Guy: So, what do you do for a living?
Guy: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Guy:Your eyes they're amazing.
Guy: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Guy: But I don't know your name
Guy: I know how to please a woman
Guy: I can tell you want me
Guy: If you were a hamburger at McDonalds you would be McGorgeous
Guy: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven
Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again
Guy: I want to give myself to you
Guy: It's a good thing I have a library card because I'm checking you out
(if ur a girl that would say stuff like that then post this on your profile) Lolz, he just got SERVED!
PLEASE READ. If this doesn't touch you... I cried!
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't
forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for
the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that
mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister
is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: the fear of long words. Now what SmartAss came up with that? If you think that is really funny, but can't pronounce it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have an exceedingly long profile because of copy/paste items, copy this into your profile to make it even longer.
If Orlando Bloom said to stop breathing, 99 percent of girls currently on the face of the Earth would be dead right now. Put this on your profile if you'd be the 1 percent still alive and laughing your ass off.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism.
Every abortion is just..
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.
Johnny Brought A Gun To School
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school, he told his friends that it was cool , and when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack! Mummy I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye, I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another, and all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much, and please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now, and tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest, mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class, and never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this, mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try, I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest, but mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest, mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new, I guess I'm not going with daddy, on that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live, but mummy I must go now the time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date , I love you mummy I always have, I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you", In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would, pass this around, I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground, if you pass this on, maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart, for the people that didn't get to say "goodbye".
My name is Molly
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Molly
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)
10 Ways To Annoy People
1. Go Into A Grocery Store And Follow Someone Around Asking, "Guess What?"
2. Go Into A Department Store And Sneak Up On Somebody Who Is Talking On A Cell Phone And Whisper, "Who're Ya Talkin' To?" And When They Say, "Hey Dude, Can I Have A Little Privacy Please?" You Say, "No, 'Cause You're In Public, Bud. You Can't Have Privacy In Public!"
3. Do The Old Trick When You Put Dog Crap In A Bag Then Set It On Fire, And Leave It On Somebody's Doorstep. So If They're Going To Try To Stomp It Out, They Have To Get Dog Crap All Over Their Shoe.
4. Prank Call The Same Person Over And Over Asking Them What Color Their Underwear Is.
5. If You're A Guy, You'll Love This One. Go Into Hot Topic And Pretend To Have A Heart-attack, And When A Hot Blonde Does CPR, Start Kissing Her. (Warning: This One Can Get You Slapped And Maybe A Butt-whooping From Her Boyfriend)
6. Go Into A Public Restroom And Use The Toilet Paper As A Mummy Wrap, And Jump Out Screaming, "Boo!"
7. Come Running Out Of A Restroom Saying To Random People, "Whoa Dude! Come See The Size Of The One I Just Made!"
8. Noisily Chew Gum Behind Someone Who Is Trying To Read, And When They Turn Around, Spit It Out And Hold It Out To Them And Say, "Hey, Want Some? It's Watermelon!"
9. Go Into The Toy Section And Leave A 'Used Diaper' On The Ground And Say, "The Dolly Had An Accident."
10. Go Into A Mall At Christmas Time And Pull Off Santa's Beard Screaming, "Holy Cow! It's A Fake! He Ain't Real!"
9 Things I Find Annoying:
1. People Who Point At Their Wrist While Asking For The Time... I Know Where My Watch Is Pal, Where The Hell Is Yours? Do I Point At My Crotch When I Ask Where The Toilet Is?
2. People Who Are Willing To Get Off Their Ass To Search The Entire Room To Find The TV Remote Because They Refuse To Get Up And Change The Channel Manually.
3. When People Say, 'Oh You Just Want To Have Your Cake And Eat It Too.' Damn Right! What Good Is Cake If You Can't Eat It?
4. When People Say, 'It's Always The Last Place You Look.' Of Course It Is. Why The Hell Would You Keep Looking After You Found It? Do People Do This? Who And Where Are They? I'm Gonna Kick Their Asses!
5. When People Say While Watching A Film, 'Did You See That?' No Loser, I Spent 12 Dollars To Come To The Cinema And Stare At The Damn Floor.
6. People Who Ask, 'Can I Ask You A Question?' Didn't Really Give Me A Choice There, Did Ya Sunshine?
7. When Something Is 'New And Improved.' Which Is It? If Its New, Then There Has Never Been Anything Before It. If Its An Improvement, Then There Must Have Been Something Before It, So It Can't Be New.
8. When People Say, 'Life Is Too Short.' What The Hell? Life Is The Longest Damn Thing Anyone Ever Does! What Can You Do That's Longer?
9. When You're Waiting For The Bus And Someone Asks, 'Has The Bus Come Yet?' If The Bus Came, Would I Be Standing Here Dumbass?
When life gives you Lemons
When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? Who likes lemons?
When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, sit back and watch the world wonder how.
When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
When Life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
When life gives you lemons,make apple juice,then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.
When life gives you lemons, chunck them at the people you hate.
When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!
When life gives you lemons squirt them in life's eyes, then run far, far away.
Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies)
25 Reasons I owe my mother.
1. My mother taught me to APPERCIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3.My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into next week."
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORSIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about,"
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about weather.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
10. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck."
11. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
" You'll sit there until all that spinich is gone."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a millon times. Don't exaggerate."
13. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
16. My mother taught me about about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home!"
17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing you eyes, their going to freeze that way."
18. My mother taught me about RECIEVING.
" You are going to get it when we get home."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold."
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come crying to me."
21. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
22. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables you'll never grow up."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut the door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
" When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you
Fun Things To Do On An Elevator. (:
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly.
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug," then enforce it.
FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Return your stuff right away.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you.
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter.
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.
What a Boyfriend SHOULD Do:
There. Now follow this boys and you will have your girlfriend remember you forever.
Don't read this:
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota Balcu," as he buried her.Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night, she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
-In the newspaper the next day a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so that she would live even if it meant that he would die. If you would do the same for a person you love then copy this into your profile.
If you like reading, copy and paste this into your profile
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you've ever snuck on fanfiction when you were supposed to be doing something else, say, your homework, copy and paste into your profile
If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile
If you have ever just wanted to slap someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile
If you will always believe PERCY JACKSON is the best Greek hero of ALL TIME, copy/paste this on your profile
IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE, COPY/PASTE THIS ON YOUR PROFILE
If you have annoying siblings, copy/paste this on your profile
If NORMAL is the worst word to describe you in the dictionary, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE
There are no stupid questions, only stupid people asking questions.
- Scott Adams
10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen
10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent.
9. Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent.
8. Ask if blondes really do have more fun.
7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.
6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France.
5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”.
4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death?
3. Leap out from behind the desk in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water.
2. Call him McSteamy or McDreamy.
And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen?
1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!”
10 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale
10. Beg him not to eat you.
9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen.
8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry.
7. Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him Jaspar Cullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must have gone to his brain.
6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away.
5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood.
4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts.
3. When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”.
2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction.
And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale?
1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style.
10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen
10. Sing “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.
9. Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.
8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.
7. Ask how Tanya is.
6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”
5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face.
4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”
3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.
2. Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.
And the Number One way to annoy Edward Cullen?
1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.
10 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen
10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to “jump for it”.
9. Tell her if she was just a few centimetres shorter she could legally be a midget.
8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can.
7. Tie her up in a straightjacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.
6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan “I’m melting.”
5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.
4. When she gets a vision, ask if her “spidey senses” are tingling.
3. Trip her up and ask if she saw it coming.
2. Ask her what you will be doing in five minutes every ten minutes.
And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen?
1. Email her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines.
10 Ways to Annoy Emmett Cullen
10. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist.
9. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth.
8. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship.
7. Try to stab him through the heart with a stake.
6. Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in.
5. Inquires as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male.
4. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed.
3. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that Jeep.
2. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles..
And the Number One way to annoy Emmett Cullen?
1. When he denies the above two claims, respond with “That’s not what Rosalie saaaaaid!”
10 Ways to Annoy Rosalie Hale
10. Tell her that, because everyone thinks she and Jasper are twins, they should get together. When she asks why, say that Incest is in at the moment.
9. Call her “Ice Queen” behind her back and to her face.
8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
7. Claim that being a human ain’t so great.
6. When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways.
4. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face.
3. Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face.
2. Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her.
And the Number One way to annoy Rosalie Hale?
1. Steal her silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Roxanne” by The Police. When she asks why the hell you did it, say that she reminds you of Roxanne.
92 Of The Teen Population Would Be Dead If Abercrombie and Fitch decided breathing wasn’t Cool.Put This On you profile If You Would Be One Of The 8 Laughing Hysterically in the background.
About 93 of the female population would die if the Miley Cyrus decided to jump off a building. Post this on your page if you are the 7 that would yell "Jump Bitch!"
"The line between confidence and arrogance is thin, the line between arrogance and stupidity even finer." -- Nicholas Flamel, The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel
!!How wrong is this!!
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
!!!Repost this if you think homophobia is wrong!!!
If you are crazy and proud of it, copy this and paste it on your profile!
If you think vampires are the sexiest beasts out there, copy this and paste it on your profile!
If you believe that vampires are walking among us, copy this onto your profile!
IF YOU'VE ACTUALLY MANAGED TO CONVINCE YOUR SHRINK THAT JARETH IS REAL, THEN YOU'RE CRAZY AND DESERVE AN AWARD.
OH, AND HERE IS A BUNCH OF LINKS TO SOME OF MY FAVOURITE STORIES:
Below is the 14th chapter of the story 'Love Or Lust'.
One of my favourite Fav's : http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8109647/1/Big_Brother
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6116800/1/Esme_and_The_Riding_Crop A very naughty one, this is!
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5719751/1/Fit_to_Be_Tied Ezio and Rosa From Assassin's Creed
AND THE BEST STORY I HAVE EVER HAD THE PLEASURE OF READING( AND ALSO MY FAVOURITE) IS!:
AND HERE IS A BUNCH OF MY FAVORITE SONGS:
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