Author has written 4 stories for Touhou Project, Naruto, Anime X-overs, Love Hina, Team Fortress 2, Game X-overs, and Tokyo Mew Mew.
MEGA MAN X HAS GONE MAVERICK!!
If you just want to read the stories and skip my rants, just press the "End" key or take the scrolling bar all the way down.
If you think Masashi Kishimoto is ruining Naruto and agree, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. The Fifth Rider of Armageddon, Hiroshima Namikaze, Zaara the black, desuta, Reikson, D-reaper X-20, blackstardragon624, chinoodin, The Silver Blossom, RasenganFin, Raidentensho, Knives91, Kingkakashi, DarkSamuraiX1999, THE HEE-HO KING, Wirespeed91, Naruto 21, GraityTheWizard, GuyverZero, durwin, Hakkyou no Yami, VFSNAKE, Stormrunner56, Haru Kitsune, DragonMaster4381,Terror of the Azure Flame, RoyalTwinFang,TheDemonKingNaruto, dracohalo117, smitty1110, Shidomaru of the Bloody Mist.
Tropes I love:
Magic A is Magic A
Elemental Powers (especially Fire, Ice, Lightning)
Losing a Shoe in the Struggle (only for human-looking women who look older than 13 and younger than 40)
Tickle Torture (friendly or otherwise, also restricted to the same type of female characters, and only on the foot)
Shrinking Violet (females only)
Anyone Can Die
Silly Rabbit, Idealism is for Kids
Quirky Miniboss Squad
Standard Evil Organization Squad
Seven Deadly Sins
Western/Eastern Zodiac (both are cool)
Slippy-Slidey Ice World (and other elemental levels/dungeons)
Power Copying (applied to videogames)
Tropes I loathe:
Shipping and all of its subtropes
Real Women Don't Wear Dresses
Romantic Plot Tumor
Unrequited Love Lasts Forever
All Love Is Unrequited
Ordinary Highschool Student
Status Quo is God
Death is Cheap (unless Played for Laughs via They Killed Kenny Again)
Zettai Ryouiki (grades B, A and S)
Tsundere (females only)
Murder the Hypotenuse (females only)
Belligerent Sexual Tension
Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male (when the male is not a jerk)
Losing a Shoe in the Struggle (when applied to males and other characters who don't fit the criteria)
Tickle Torture (friendly or otherwise, again when used on males or otherwise doesn't fit my criteria)
Shave and a Haircut
Things I learned from my failure fanfics:
Forbidden Romance: Hinata & Shidomaru:
1) Chapters should never be more than 5 pages long, otherwise each chapter gets too long, boring and tedious to read.
2) Love at first sight is contrived and unrealistic, and making a canon character immediately fall in love with your Self-Insert OC makes your OC a Mary Sue.
3) Never create a guest friend-insert OC just for the sake of having your friend be a guest character, especially if she ultimately has little or no relevance to the plot.
4) Don't attempt a Genre Shift.
5) "Contempt" is not the same as "Content". LEARN SOME FUCKING ENGLISH!!
1) Never make any lengthy foot fetish scenes in a fanfic that's mainly about fighting. ESPECIALLY don't make them at the very beginning of chapter 1! Otherwise, people will think the entire story is a foot fetish fic and stop reading entirely!
2) Foot fetish is creepy.
3) Plan your fanfic carefully and make ONLY the scenes that are absolutely necessary. Less is more! Your story will get to the awesome part faster if you make sure to get rid of ALL the filler before starting to write.
4) Compounding with the above, the less chapters it takes you to convey your message, the better. Shorter fanfics are best.
5) Filler may also make you repeat messages you've already said in previous chapters. Avoid this!
Cyborg Fighter Leon:
1) Nobody will give a fuck about your fanfic unless it's about something REALLY popular such as Naruto, Touhou or Team Fortress 2!
2) If chapter 1 fails to tell the reader EXACTLY what it's about, that's it. Your target audience just WON'T READ IT! ...Oh! And you also must compress it all to fit a measly FIVE PAGES!! If your fic isn't awesome right from chapter 1, forget about people favoriting, following and praising it in reviews! Nobody cares if your fic "gets better in later chapters"!
3) And even more importantly: NEVER fucking end the first chapter WITHOUT INTRODUCING THE HERO!!
4) Do waste some paragraphs describing every detail of every location, every character and the atmosphere. Unless your readers are watching an anime (where all of that is right there in plain sight) that's kind of REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT!
5) Before adding supporting characters, make sure you know EXACTLY what role each one will take. And don't add more characters than needed.
6) Do as much research as you can before bitching about Japanese culture.
Various warning signs to know when a given anime is going to suck (in no particular order):
1) The main cast is almost all female with only one guy (two if you're really lucky)
2) It has a ridiculously long name in japanese such as "Ore No Imouto Ga Konna Ni Kawaii Wake Ga Nai" or "Danjon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatteiru Darō ka?"
3) The main male protagonist is explicitly an otaku
4) The main male protagonist's explicit goal is to either "find a girlfriend/wife" or "pick up girls"
5) Despite having things like supernatural powers and battles, the show's main setting is a school (that being said, true slice-of-life animes such as Clannad, Itazura na Kiss and K-On are exempt from this because they don't have battles or supernatural powers, and are thus perfectly fine with being set in a school)
6) The main male protagonist is an ordinary highschool boy in origin, with no outstanding qualities before whatever event changes his life. (to make my point clear, someone like Yusuke Urameshi does NOT fit the description because he was never a common everyday boy, even before his first death. On the other hand, someone like Tsukune Aono does fit the description because he was just a normal boy before he met Moka)
More to come as I find them out...
Top 8 animes (that I know of) that are EVEN WORSE than Sword Art Online:
If you think Sword Art Online sucks... You're right! Sword Art Online IS garbage! But is it THE worst anime in the history of mankind? Hell no! Japan has produced many abominations that are even more atrocious than SAO! Here's just 8 of them:
8) 11 Eyes:
This obscure piece of shit first caught my attention when I was desperate for some new anime to watch and I started looking in alphabetical order, starting from the numbers. The premise looked good, protagonists trapped in a red night gain superpowers and have to fight for their lives against 6 black knights named after 6 of the 7 Deadly Sins (with Lust mysteriously missing). Awesome! Another fighting anime! And I love the Seven Deadly Sins motif! Also, the protagonist's girlfriend is a shy, cute and meek Hinata-type! What's not to like? ...*come episode 8* WHAT!? What do you mean the guy is cheating on his cute shy girlfriend with the meaner and stronger Action Girl merely to get a power-up!? Was this shit anime written by a NaruSaku fan!? Is it advising people to marry the stronger girl simply to get an edge in battle!? RAGE QUIT!!! ...Yeah, Kirito also married the stronger girl, but he was horny for Asuna since the beginning. Yes, poor Hinata clone Sachi was killed, but at least Kirito appreciated her feelings for him! 11 Eyes is a piece of shit that encourages taking Combat Pragmatism to the bed to breed kids with perfect IVs!
7) Love Hina:
This is the one... THIS steaming pile of shit is the ONLY reason why the harem genre has become synonimous with anime itself! THIS turd is what EVERY harem anime gets its inspiration from! Here's the premise: This wimpy normal guy who suspiciously resembles the viewer (that means YOU!) becomes the manager of an all-girls inn, and all the "humor" comes from him being so spineless that his female tenants unprovokedly beat the shit out of him on a daily basis! Hur hur a man so weak that a woman can hurt him so funny... And let's not forget: Hate is Love, so we're expected to believe that all this physical abuse is signs of affection... If you enjoy constantly getting your bones pummeled into dust and being beaten to a bloody pulp, and THAT makes you feel LOVED, then you have serious mental issues!! How many times did Asuna beat the shit out of Kirito... ONCE! And it was because Kirito was being a fucking dumb-ass, so he deserved it!
The anime about fucking your little sister! Sure, the male protagonist's own sister being horny for him has been a staple of the harem genre ever since Love Hina, and SAO is no exception. However, not even in SAO does he ever reciprocate her sexual lust for him... But in Oreimo, the male protagonist MARRIES his own sister in the end! It's like Oreimo's author wanted to encourage incest! Of course, the authors of harem animes don't actually HAVE little sisters, so there's no way for them to know how little sisters work... But the author of Oreimo probably IS really that much of a creep to fuck his own sister.
5) Familiar of Zero:
Love Hina in a medieval setting with magic powers and where Naru has become a spoiled princess with the body of an underaged child. Does it sound fun to you? OF COURSE NOT! The basis is the same as Sword Art Online: A common everyday spineless boy (a.k.a. YOU, the viewer) has been transported into the magical world of his dreams where he can get superpowers and EVERY girl will have an orgasm just by hearing his name! ...EXCEPT that in Familiar of Zero he gets treated worse than an animal, mercilessly and literally whipped by his supposed true love interest on a daily basis, because Hate is Love! Hur hur so funny... And yes, we're expected to believe Louise loves Saito. Familiar of Zero is actually very similar to Sword Art Online, but this one detail ultimately makes Familiar of Zero the worse of the two.
4) Infinite Stratos:
Want to find a way to piss all over the Mecha genre's legacy? Mix it with Love Hina! The awesome action-packed mecha setting is secondary, and the girls' feelings for the viewer-insert character are priority! Again, similar to Sword Art Online itself, but with Love Hina and Familiar of Zero's constant physical abuse of the main character. Hur hur so funny...
3) Rosario Vampire Capu2:
I wasn't sure which was worse, if Infinite Stratos or this one, but I ended up declaring this one the worse because I was told the manga was actually good! Apparently the Rosario Vampire manga was a proper fighting story, only with more female fighters than necessary. But because of Love Hina's popularity, the second season of the anime was forced to become Love Hina with monster girls. Imagine the disappointment of the people who read the manga and then get to watch this shit! This is treason! Betrayal! Treachery!
2) Naruto Shippuuden Post-Pain:
Ah, the Naruto series... The original was awesome, the first few non-filler arcs of Shippuuden were good... then Pain came in and shat on the series's entire legacy! Upon Hinata's Disney Death, all of us faithful lovers of the shy and meek kunoichi made such a big fuss that the author actually noticed! Seeing that his viewers above everything else cared about who Naruto would marry, what did he do? ...Have Naruto zig-zag between his two love interests just to keep the audience at each other's throats!! Sure, you girls LOVE having your hearts toyed with, that's what you've seen in your soap operas! ...FUCK THAT SHIT!! Hinata-chan was supposed to be mai waifu!! Masashi Kishimoto needs to die in the lava of Mt. Fuji!! ...Sword Art Online may be putrid garbage, but at least it had the decency to make it clear right from the start that Kirito was going to bang Asuna and that we wouldn't have to worry about any STUPID love rivalries! Post-Pain Naruto Shippuuden is MUCH WORSE than putrid garbage!!
1) Rock Lee's Springtime of Youth:
Want to ruin Naruto Shippuuden even further? Make a comedy spinoff of it! At first it looks promising. Look at all those cute chibis! Aww, look at chibi Hinata-chan! SO ADORABLE! Nobody would want to harm something this utterly adorable and cute... right? ...Episode 9, 'nuff said. Not even Sword Art Online pulls this bullshit on you! This is worse than Love Hina! Worse than Familiar of Zero! Worse even than Infinite Stratos and Rosario Vampire Capu2!! At least in all of those the victim of all the abuse was an unlikable stand-in for the viewer... But here, they literally piss on the head of the local cutie! They ram her full-speed with a car! They blow her up at least FIVE TIMES!! How would you feel if I tied up your waifu next to some dynamite and fucking blew her up!? It would be TRAGIC!! You don't do that shit to the cute girl character! The author of this spinoff was a NaruSaku fan! That's it! That's the only explanation! You thought Sword Art Online was bad!? THIS steaming pile of shit makes SAO look like Fullmetal Alchemist!! Rock Lee's Springtime of Youth is SO fucking bad it's a shit stain in the history of Japan!!
Top 10 most BULLSHIT tropes (or combinations of tropes) in anime:
10) Belligerent Sexual Tension:
You know these two, the jerk and the tsundere who are forced to pair together and expected to fall in love with each other with lots of Belligerent Sexual Tension and slapstick "humor"... if by "humor" you understand the jerk insulting the tsundere and making her feel ugly, with the tsundere retaliating with "hilarious" physical violence! It's easy to see this kind of couple would never succeed in real life! At best they're bound to break up. At worst it can end in DEATH! In-between it can bring serious physical injuries, court trials, restraining orders, more violence and that sort of shit. It's obvious this type of romance in anime is nothing but a sick joke. There is no love to be found in a Takahashi couple. 10 years ago, this used to be my #1 complaint against romance in anime... But believe me, there is a reason why THIS is merely #10 in this list!
Series guilty of this sin: Ranma 1/2, InuYasha, Orphen, Pokémon (original series), Yu Yu Hakusho, Bakugan, Beyblade.
9) Audience Surrogate & This Loser is You:
Maybe we fanfic authors were wrong. Maybe we shouldn't have started self-inserting into anime worlds to have sex with our waifus... Because now Japan makes THESE characters! This is the main protagonist in practically EVERY harem anime! The guy starts out as nothing but an Ordinary Highschool Student... Just like you! ...His life is boring, he has no superpowers and no girlfriend... Just like YOU! And all of a sudden, without warning, from one chapter to the next he gets a harem consisting of EVERY girl in the series, wins the Superpower Lottery, gets a Humongous Mecha and is tasked to save the entire fucking universe!... Just like in your self-insert fanfic. Now, the biggest problem with this guy is that he tries too hard to resemble his audience, which puts him in direct conflict with his role as The Hero. By his nature, The Hero is an exceptional person, one in a million, otherwise he wouldn't be worth writing about. This anime protagonist takes on his viewer's traits (i.e: being an antisocial emo) but at the same time conserves his Hero traits (i.e: it's easy for him to make friends). Can you see the contradiction there? Not to mention, being "like his audience" means being a normal boy without any combat training or experience at piloting mecha. This creates a sort of plothole where the Ordinary Highschool Student with a normal lifestyle can suddenly fight toe-to-toe with trained experts. My point is that The Hero, while he CAN be flawed (in fact, a perfect hero is boring as fuck), he CANNOT BE ORDINARY!! If not trained in combat nor having superpowers, at least he needs to be mentally/spiritually extraordinary (i.e: exceptionally brave), which the audience he's trying to mimic is not.
Characters guilty of this sin: Kazuto Kirigaya, Tsukune Aono, Yukiteru Amano, Ichika Orimura, Issei Hyoudou, Touma Kamijou, Minato Sahashi, Ayumu Aikawa.
8) The tsundere loli that suddenly appears in the protagonist's life, gives him superpowers and forces him to be her boyfriend:
Okay, this one isn't a named trope as far as I know, but it's been repeated enough that it should be. This girl is paired with the above protagonist. She is, indisputably, the most popular girl in school, the strongest warrior of her guild, the most powerful member of her species, the best of the best! By sheer dumb luck the Ordinary Highschool Student stumbles upon her, at which point she gives him instant superpowers and forces him into an implicit contract where he has to marry her and be her servant, and convinces him that he's the key piece to whatever objective she's pursuing. To be honest, I have nothing against the Instant Expert trope (heck, many of the best animes and videogames have it as a Necessary Weasel), but it's THE WAY the hero gets his powers in this scenario that irritates me! The tsundere loli character tends to be irritating and unlikable like 90% of the time, and the superpowers she gives you come from some IMPLICIT PROMISE TO MARRY this spoiled brat!? And it's not like she gives you a choice! She just bumps into you and forces you to partake into her campaign as a way of apologizing to her! ...Besides, I've never felt sexually attracted to the most popular girl in school. I tend to support the loser girls instead.
Update: After talking with a friend about it, I understand this trope better. He pointed out that getting in a relationship with the Alpha Girl obviously nets you lots of privileges even if you're an otherwise very normal guy, and from that viewpoint the trope makes perfect sense. However, it doesn't take away the fact it is still utilized to shoehorn a romance story in a setting that would otherwise offer a much more awesome fighting story!
Series guilty of this sin: The Familiar of Zero, To Aru Majutsu no Index, Highschool DxD, Kore wa Zombie Desu Ka.
7) Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male & Rule of Funny
I'm looking at YOU, Naru Narusegawa! ...The tsundere is usually a horrible girlfriend. She's so ashamed of being in love with you that she'll try to convince everyone (including herself) that she hates you and she will beat you to a bloody pulp to prove it! To be fair, it's not bad when the tsundere beats a jerk protagonist who's been mean to her or otherwise too vulgar in front of her. Jerks like Ash Ketchum and InuYasha (and arguably Naruto Uzumaki) had it coming to them. But I've already complained about the Takahashi Couple! What THIS is about is beating up a completely innocent protagonist who just was pushed into that american girl's huge boobs by accident or entered the hot spring without knowing the tsundere was skinny-dipping in it! The reason this trope is so overused is, surprisingly, Japan's sexist idea that a woman can never be stronger than a man. The "humor" here comes from the fact that a man weak enough to be hurt by a woman's attack is not a real man, bonus points if said man just saved the universe by defeating an omnipotent monster in battle, only to be humorously defeated himself BY HIS "FRAGILE" WIFE! And it only gets worse when this kind of anime gets exported to the west, because our culture interprets this joke as a serious heroic act where the tsundere is heralded as a heroine who rebels against oppression from men! Thus, this horrendous cliché is DOUBLY popular!! There is no end in sight to this awful trend...
Characters guilty of this sin: Naru Narusegawa, Louise, Taiga Aisaka, Moka Akashiya (Capu2 version only), Sakura Haruno (arguably)
6) The main male protagonist is a horrible lover:
Japanese culture FORBIDS display of feelings in general, but especially displays of affection. Thus, our "heroes" need to be douchebags so our hopelessly in-love heroines can have their hearts mercilessly destroyed and their lives ruined! These guys come in three flavors:
6-A) Celibate Hero & Love is a weakness:
This character is VERY serious and VERY focused... So much that he doesn't even have any sexual desires and thinks romance is a hindrance, scorning the affection given to him by the entire female cast that falls in love with him. Some of these are actually nice guys who try not to hurt the girl when rejecting her, but most of them are Sasuke Uchiha style and either insult the girl or make her feel ugly! Of the three shitty boyfriend protagonist types, this one offends me the least, and is the most realistic one as he resembles what real japanese people are like.
Characters guilty of this sin: Sasuke Uchiha, the main character from Strike the Blood (forgot his name).
6-B) Chaste Hero:
As soon as this guy joins the school club, every girl in the series gets wet for him because he's so kind to everybody. Yes, he's an All-Loving Hero and a Friend to All Living Things... And by "Friend" I mean FRIENDZONE FOR EVERYBODY!!! Don't expect this guy to find out where babies come from anytime soon! His Incorruptible Pure Pureness might make him an awesome person and the best friend you can ever have, but it's going to frustrate the hell out of whichever girl is unlucky enough to fall in love with him! He's not going to stain his soul by committing the sin of sex! We get it, this guy is the embodiment of good, but too much purity has the potential of ruining a story.
Characters guilty of this sin: Yuuta Togashi, Ash Ketchum, Keitaro Urashima, Tsukune Aono, Ichika Orimura.
6-C) Harem Seeker & The Hero:
Oh, boy! This is THE WORST of them all! If there is something worse than a pure-hearted-sue, that'd be HIS COMPLETE OPPOSITE! This is when the author believes that the character is not cool or badass if he doesn't have at least 5 girls wet for him! This character is a playboy who will intentionally seduce EVERY female character he comes across and play with their hearts. A Harem Seeker is not bad when it's a secondary character like Brock or Sanji, we know they'll fail to seduce the girl and we'll pity them, making them somewhat likable. However, when the Harem Seeker is THE HERO, meaning he eventually gets everything he wants, things suddenly turn grim.
Characters guilty of this sin: Naruto Uzumaki, Kazuto Kirigaya, Issei Hyoudou, Ayumu Aikawa, Tenchi Masaki.
5) Chick Magnet & Ordinary Highschool Student:
EVERY girl in the series MUST fall in love with the main protagonist. No exceptions. There's literally no other man in the entire universe for them! And when The Hero is such an exceptional person, it's perfectly understandable. However, if the hero is an Ordinary Highschool Student Audience Surrogate and the girls still regard him as the last man on Earth and get into catfights over HIM, that's UNFORGIVABLE!!
Series guilty of this sin: Naruto Shippuuden, Pokémon, Sword Art Online, Love Hina, Rosario To Vampire, Infinite Stratos, To Aru Majutsu no Index, Sekirei, Highschool DxD, Kore wa Zombie Desu Ka, Tenchi Muyo!
4) Unrequited Love Lasts Forever:
Once an anime girl has fallen in love with one of the above types of hero, that's it. She's NEVER going to move on! Even after he has married the tsundere, she will forever dream of marrying him and will never fall out of love! She will waste her life and her beauty on a man who will never love her! Now, consider this in a harem anime, where EVERY female character falls in love with the main protagonist. What an enormous waste! Not to mention the "humorous" catfights... Seriously, this shitty trope REALLY NEEDS to be deconstructed! ...And yes, I know this trope happens so much in anime because Japanese people are LOYAL, but people shouldn't waste their loyalty on dumbfucks that don't deserve it!! ESPECIALLY those horrible lovers from point number 6 of this list!
Series guilty of this sin: Naruto Shippuuden, Love Hina, Sword Art Online, Mahou Sensei Negima, Infnite Stratos, To Aru Majutsu no Index, Sekirei, Tenchi Muyo!
3) Fake Shonen:
Another unnamed "trope" that's getting way too overused already. OH, BOY! NOW we're getting into the REAL shit! This type of anime has a setting worthy of an action-packed shonen anime! It has superpowers, it has swords and magic, it has Humongous Mechas... What's the genre of this anime, you ask? Why, it's a HAREM ROMANTIC COMEDY, of course!! Way to swindle the viewers! I hope I'm not the only one pissed off at this shit! Doesn't it make you feel cheated!? ...As you know, anime nowadays is adapted from shorter Light Novels instead of long-running Manga (thank Haruhi Suzumiya for that discovery, it may be the only good thing she ever did). On the good side, this means no filler because the animators don't have to fear running out of source material like with manga... but there is a VERY dark side to this as well... You see, those teenager hentai artists of yesterday have grown up to become the illustrators of today's Light Novels. Being hentai artists, they suck at drawing guys. Rather than learn new things and improve themselves, they force the writers to adapt to their lower level of skill and write stories where the main cast is almost entirely female with one token male (in other words, a harem). These guys are the Scrubs of the anime industry! No matter how awesome a setting the writers make, they're forced to adapt to what their illustrators can do and flood it with bitches that will do nothing but grow a Romantic Plot Tumor on what could have been an awesome action series! Light Novel illustrators are the reason why anime has become shit!!
Series guilty of this sin: Naruto Shippuuden (post-Pain), Sword Art Online, Infnite Stratos, To Aru Majutsu no Index, Sekirei, Tenchi Muyo!
2) Real Women Don't Wear Dresses:
Yes, we're going Meta! THIS shitty mindset is what is murdering our waifus! It's basically the idea of falling in love and wanting to marry a female character SOLELY based on her combat ability/strength! As if her usefulness in a war would instantly make her worthy of love, while sweeter, nicer characters who would be MUCH better housewives instead get hated for being weak in battle and murdered by the fandom! I don't necessarily hate Battle Couples, but you bitches think that EVERY couple has to be a Battle one! You know who you are! Personally, I fight better alone, so I either keep my waifu safe in the kitchen or have her backing me up with healing spells instead! ...But NO! YOU fucking street thugs want a tough waifu in order to use her as a weapon! You too, know who you are! YOU MAKE ME WANT TO THROW UP!! ...Aside from this mindset being omnipresent in-universe in the Naruto series (which I tried to address in Shidomaru Chronicles) I've seen only one other anime with an in-universe case of this: It's called "11 Eyes", and its protagonist, Kakeru Satsuki, starts the story already in love with a sweet shy Hinata-like girl named Yuuka Minase (who later becomes a murderous yandere, but for justified reason). It immediately becomes apparent that the sweet shy Yuuka is completely useless in battle, and a MUCH stronger and sexier one named Misuzu Kusakabe, whose family holds a tradition for ridiculous hentai rituals, joins them. Halfway through the series, Kakeru quickly falls in love with the stronger Misuzu instead, simply because of how much more useful in battle she is. If I were in Yuuka's place, I'd become yandere too! I don't blame Misuzu, though. Her family's rituals force her to be a slut, it's not like she WANTS to fuck Kakeru... But Kakeru himself has no excuse! He could have resisted the temptation and become stronger via Power of Love instead! Stupid heterochromic asshole...
Series guilty of this sin: Naruto Shippuuden, 11 Eyes. (And, of course, real-life people too! You know who you are!)
This is it! THE most bullshit thing EVER!! The satanic practice of pairing two characters in an OTP and then proceeding to Murder the Hypotenuse and any others who dare disagree with your deranged opinion! Shippers are HELLSPAWN!! Shippers are the lowest scum of the internet!! Even the most despicable and rotten villains of anime, even the likes of Madara Uchiha, Naraku and Sosuke Aizen look like harmless bunnies in comparison to how utterly HORRIBLE the shippers are!! Nobody has murdered more innocent waifus than them!! They've turned the anime world into a meaningless bloodbath!! And for what reason!? Because this one girl here isn't a warrior feminist role model and thus doesn't deserve to marry the hero!? WHAT THE FUCK!!!??? HOW do we let these horrible monsters live in this planet!!?? ...And it gets worse... MUCH worse... The shipper infestation reaches even the animation studios themselves!! Yuuka Miyata is the one responsible for multiple NaruSaku scenes in the Naruto Shippuuden anime (including the Road to Ninja movie), and the guy in charge of dubbing Digimon Adventure changed Sora's love interest to Tai instead of Matt! And don't get me started on the ASSHOLE who turned the anime version of Usagi Tsukino's boyfriend into a complete jerkass JUST BECAUSE HE WANTED YURI BETWEEN USAGI AND REI!!! That's disrespecting the author of the manga!!!
People guilty of this sin: Too many fandoms and staff members to name!!!
And now, a minute of silence for all our murdered waifus: Hinata Hyuga, Matsuri, Shiho, Orihime Inoue, Momo Hinamori, Sayaka Miki, Mami Tomoe, Anzu Masaki, Amelia Wil Tesla Sailune, Sylphiel Nels Lahda, Mikuru Asahina, Francoise (a.k.a. Cyborg 003), Rose (from the 2003 version of Fullmetal Alchemist), Nagisa Furukawa, Lisanna Strauss, Juvia Lockser, Ren Kougyoku... *sad piano music plays*
...*cries silently* T_T
Top 10 reasons why ALL of the post-Pain Naruto story arcs SUCK ASS!!:
10) Kishimoto unnecessarily prolonging the story for no other reason than selling more chapters equals more money. If you look carefully, most of his decisions about the series in the last five years have a market-oriented ulterior motive behind them. And the animation company making the fillers is even greedier!
9) The entire 4th Shinobi World War Arc was made ONLY because the shippers complained that their favorite female characters didn't have enough screentime. Yes, Kishimoto took such a huge story decision only to satisfy the shippers by giving everybody a minute in the spotlight!
8) Kushina basically stole all the credit for what the 4th Hokage was supposed to have done as explained in the legend at the very beginning of the series. The fact that it completely ruins said legend and makes Minato look weak and useless does not bother me... BUT Kushina was shilled this much in order to make the female viewers feel powerful over the opposite sex!
7) The ending at chapter 700, not because of who got paired with who (although pairing Choji up with Karui was unnecessary), but because of the way said pairings were forced in order to appeal to the audience and milk the money from them, instead of letting relationships develop logically.
NOTE: Although if Kishimoto had followed logic with the pairings, Sakura would be unhappily married to Naruto, Sasuke would be happily forever alone and Hinata-chan would die of loneliness and sadness because Shidomaru doesn't exist in canon... So, I guess being illogical and forcing the pairings was a good thing after all (if you intended to give your series a corny Disney Happy Ending so you can milk money from the Disney-obsessed NaruHina fans, that is)
6) Kaguya Ootsutsuki. She was created to both prolong the story and to give female viewers the illusion that the strongest character in the series is the same gender as them (for the same purposes as Kushina) ...and then she fights like a complete idiot and gets owned!
5) It's not exactly bad that Naruto NEVER EVER kills his enemies, and him forgiving Nagato KIND OF works at teaching an anti-revenge moral... but after the Pain arc WHY does he have to forgive EVERYBODY!? Not only did he forgive Obito for killing his parents, but Naruto is now friends with OROCHIMARU AND KABUTO!! In fact, Naruto has recently entrusted an entire army of Sharingan-enhanced clones to Kabuto's care!
4) The plot of the recent gaiden story is "Sakura might not be Sarada's true mother". This kind of plot belongs on a mexican soap opera! Not on a shonen anime about ninjas!
3) Obito went to Heaven and reunited with Rin after killing countless people and ruining other countless lives, just because he repented at the last minute. Obito should be burning in hell!!
2) Chapter 631. Up to that point, all of the plot twists meant to tease the shippers made at least SOME sense:
Naruto not thanking Hinata-chan after she saved him from Pain and hugging Sakura instead. That could have simply meant NaruHina not happening.
The part where Naruto rejects Sakura's love confession to pursue Sasuke could have meant that NaruSaku was ALSO not happening, and that Naruto's true love is Sasuke (one-sided, of course).
Naruto finally acknowledging Hinata-chan's efforts during the war arc and holding hands with her at the battle against the lame idea that was the Ten-Tailed was also fine, although a little out of place.
Chapter 631 nonchalantly threw ALL of that out the window! As soon as Sasuke is back, Naruto suddenly feels the need to claim Sakura back as his girlfriend in a failed attempt to goad Sasuke into fighting him! RIGHT IN FRONT OF POOR HINATA-CHAN!! Naruto's dad even gives them his blessing!! I know Naruto has a reason for wanting to goad Sasuke into fighting him, because Naruto still dumbly believes that "defeat means friendship" despite the fact that Sasuke is such a spectacularly sore loser and defeating him just causes him to bear a grudge on you like real-life people do. What is SO wrong here is that Naruto again tried resorting to Sakura as his excuse!
1) The franchise shifting its main demographic towards it's MASSIVE Estrogen Brigade just to make some extra bucks. After the Pain arc, the ENTIRE series became ALL about ship tease! Yes, women have literally ruined this series! In fact, most of the reasons listed in this Top 10 are directly tied to this! (only exceptions being reasons number 10 and number 5) ...From a business standpoint, though, it makes perfect sense that Kishimoto decided to market the rest of his series towards a former periphery demographic that has currently outgrown the series' original target (in the same fashion as modern videogames being marketed more at casual gamers rather than hardcore ones). More clients equals more money and that's understandable... BUT it hurts the overall story, its morals, its themes and its original target audience! Masashi Kishimoto sacrificed what could have been an awesome story in favor of financial profit!
Top 7 reasons why the Chunin Exams arc was THE MOST AWESOME IN THE ENTIRE SERIES!! (and a comparison to the current state of the series):
7) Had the series ended in the Chunin Exams arc and jumped directly to chapter 700 from there, that ending would have suddenly made sense! Sure, a few things like Sasuke's revenge and the Sound Four would have been left hanging, but assuming Akatsuki never existed and Orochimaru was the actual Big Bad of the series as a whole and he died with the 3rd Hokage, everything else wraps up nicely. Naruto does (in a way) win the tournament, Sasuke finally makes friends with his teammates, Hinata-chan overcame her fears and gave Naruto a reason to start falling in love with her (the pep talk before the fight with Neji), Gaara becomes a good guy with Naruto's help (and eventually becomes Kazekage while Naruto becomes Hokage), Orochimaru dies with the 3rd Hokage and the Hidden Sound village dissolves without him. Almost everyone gets a happy ending one way or another, the pairings are not played with and jumping from there to chapter 700 suddenly seems less forced and more natural.
Of course, Kishimoto needed the series to be as long as possible in order to milk the cash cow. While there were some pretty damn good story arcs such as the Sasuke retrieval team vs. the Sound Four and Shikamaru's revenge against Hidan and Kakuzu, no story arc after the Chunin Exams was ever able to reach that sheer level of awesomeness.
6) Naruto actually made use of what few brain cells he had and came up with unexpectedly smart moves! When Neji was fighting him and he believed Naruto was hiding behind his clones, Naruto actually turned his own recklessness into a smart tactic by doing the Leeroy Jenkins in a situation where it was illogical and thus Neji was not expecting it! When fighting Gaara later, Naruto also made himself look good by turning Kakashi's joke jutsu into an actual attack!
Of course, girls are not interested in clever fighting tactics, so Kishimoto quickly stopped using them and focused on making Naruto more and more stupid in order to make him funnier and thus more appealing to the fucking shippers! Post-Pain, all Naruto does is Zerg-Rush the enemy with Kagebunshin and Rasengan variations. Also, the day he was promoted to Hokage he got his ass handed to him by his little daughter, because being funny is all-important in the romantic comedy that the Naruto series is today.
5) Gaara was THE BEST CHARACTER! ...Actually, I'm especially biased on this one because the murderous Gaara from back then actually resembled ME.
Now, Naruto convincing Gaara to turn into a good guy and getting Gaara to mature and want to become a better person was a very good thing to do, and it made the perfect ending for the story arc... But there was no need for Naruto to turn Gaara gay! I have nothing against gays as long as they don't try to convert others and force their sexual orientation on them, and in the after-Pain Shippuuden it feels like Naruto did exactly that to Gaara. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who finds Gaara's friendship with Naruto a bit too exaggerated.
4) Most villains were truly evil, hard-core unrepentant bastards that we "loved to hate" (meaning we considered them awesome despite the fact we wanted them to lose in the end). There is a reason why Orochimaru is considered the best villain in the entire series.
Now that the series is marketed for teenage girls, this no longer occurs. Villains are now overgrown emo teenagers with backstories that, while actually tragic, are no more tragic than what everybody else had to go through in a world that is constantly at war. Thus, their past is no different than that of most other characters yet they over-react to it more than everybody else (I'm looking at YOU, Nagato and Obito). Also, true to their emo teen theme, villains can now be easily redeemed by giving them some love and forgiving their unforgivable crimes... A concept EXTREMELY similar to a girl falling in love with a bad boy because she dreams of changing him with her love! The most recent arcs of the Naruto series REEK of being marketed to girls!
Even Orochimaru fell victim to the girl fanservice! He was made to come back just because the fans wanted to, and he was turned into a good guy and even GIVEN A SON just because the fangirls were wet for him!
3) Chakra was the combination of physical energy and spiritual energy, both present in all living beings, and most of the different jutsu had an in-universe explanation that at least SEEMED to make sense. "Magic A is Magic A" is one of my favorite tropes (one of the reasons for two of my favorite animes being Fullmetal Alchemist and Hunter x Hunter), and back in the day of the Chunin Exams arc, there were explanations to things such as how Dosu's sound attack worked, or how did Shino burst Zaku's arms open. It felt like these ninjas were actual smart people using clever strategies like all ninjas should!
Nowadays, chakra has been retconned to the product of a woman eating a forbidden fruit. There's something really girly and fairytale-esque about that, like character power-ups and other events are decided by destiny instead of being earned by training and effort. In a boys' story, the hero fights and works hard to become more powerful and defeat the bad guys. In a girls' story, on the other hand, two lovers are bound by destiny to be together and things come out right in the end no matter what. I know I'm being a bit confusing here, but think of it this way: Males are down-to-earth and rational, while females dream and follow their hearts. Where a male would say "I'll make myself stronger and then use this strategy to beat this opponent", a female would instead say "Everything's gonna be alright, I know in my heart that I'll come out on top in the end"... It's very hard to explain. It's like there's no longer a logic or science behind chakra and jutsu, and instead now it's like a mysterious and wondrous magic of rainbows and unicorns! Yet another example of Kishimoto subtly switching Naruto's target demographic to the girls.
2) Romance had a very minor background role in the series. As Eiichiro Oda said: "Boys are not interested in romance", and Naruto was a shonen series back then. Hinata-chan loved Naruto, Naruto loved Sakura, Sakura loved Sasuke, Ino loved Sasuke too, every other slut in the village loved Sasuke as well, and Sasuke hated everybody.
...But everything changed when the shippers attacked. Once those bitches demanded the story to focus on romance as its main plot, Kishimoto gradually threw all of the series' awesomeness into the trash can and turned Naruto Shippuuden into a lame harem romantic comedy where everything that had a vagina (as well as a giant armadillo with a dick) would fall in love with Naruto on sight while Naruto himself suddenly went yaoi for Sasuke. And the story only became more and more girly as it went on.
1) The ninjas actually fought like ninjas, which means using deceiving tactics and out-smarting the enemy. Shino vs. Zaku and Kankuro vs. Misumi are the finest examples of how to make a proper battle between ninjas: Zaku pretended to have his arms still broken in an attempt to take Shino by surprise, but Shino anticipated that possibility and made sure to clog BOTH of Zaku's air shooters with his bugs. As for Kankuro, Misumi attempted to win the battle without even letting Kankuro make his first move, which should be a common tactic of ninjas, only for Kankuro to have come prepared beforehand by having switched places with his puppet before the fight even happened! HELL! Even INO actually used her brain for once and used a pretty damn clever tactic when she pretended to cut her hair meaninglessly like Sakura but then actually USED that hair to restrain Sakura's movements!
The Naruto series eventually abandoned the proper ninja fighting style in favor of pure brute force, which I guess is okay for Naruto himself, but everybody else has no excuse! The ONLY character who still fought like a proper ninja in Shippuuden was Shikamaru.