Author has written 7 stories for Harry Potter, and Buffy: The Vampire Slayer.
Hi, My name is Sel and if you'd like to read some of my other works you can find it on Potions and Snitches under the name Nightshade.
AGE: Take a guess
GENDER: My name is Selyne remember, LOL!
LIKES: I used to HATE reading but ever since i read Harry Potter I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!!!! I'm also a HUGE fan of Dragonball Z. Not the Dragonball Z Kai stuff. The Original!!
DISLIKES: Rude people. I'm all for honesty but you can be nice about it.
#1. Severus Snape - Harry Potter
#2. Vegeta -Dragonball Z and Dragonball GT
#3. Spike - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
#4. Rumpelstiltskin - Once Upon a Time
#5. Dustfinger - Inkheart series
#6. Jack Sparrow - PotC
#7. Sweeney Todd & Judge Turpin - Sweeney Todd
#8. Judd Travis - Shilo
#9. Binx - Hocus Pocus
#10. Phantom/Eric - Phantom of the Opera
#11. Jerry - P.S I Love You
#12. Grumpy - Snow white & the Seven Dwarfs
#13. Jareth - Labyrinth
FAVORITE COMEDIANS: Bill Engvall, Jeff Dunham, Ron 'Tatter Salad White, Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Cosby, and Jim Breuer
FAVORITE ACTIVITIES: I love to ride horses, my favorite is "Zeek the Geek", I love to read and to write. I'm hoping to become a writer. "Fingers Crossed!!!"
FAVORITES: I love animals of all kinds. My favorites are tigers (I love white ones!!!!), horses, and wolves.
Bill Engvall- "You could take Vicodin, step out of the house, onto a freeway, have a truck hit you, and you'd say "My Bad!".
Bill Engvall- "Now you know what parasailing is right? Ya, that's when they hook half an acre of parachute to you, three hundred feet of rope that's attached to you and this guys boat; you have now become his personal kite!"
Bill Engvall- "So they start bringing me down, all of a sudden the two guys, remember the two guys that hadn't paid me any attention at all? Well now, they've got a freaked out look on their face. And they're poking their buddy who's driving the boat and pointing at me. This gets my attention. And I look down and I realize the problem; we are gonna miss the platform, from which we took off. Oh not by a lot, but enough. As my toes touched the water, the guy driving the boat screams at me, 'JUST POKE EM IN THE EYE!' 'WHO?' 'THE SHARKS!' 'MY GOD THE SHARKS!!!' I litterally walked on water, went back to my hotel room, ate the other half of the vicodin, and watched the animal planet."
Ron White- "Texas has the death penalty and we use it! That's right. You kill somebody in Texas, we will kill you back! That's our policy!"
Ron White- "Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty. My state's putting in the express lane."
Ron White-"I flew all the way from Flagstaff, Arizona to Phoenix, Arizona because my manager doesn't own a globe. We took off from the Flagstaff Airport, Hair Care and Tire Center there. We flew on a plane that big, like a pack of gum with eight people in it, just (imitates sound of a tiny airplane). We were going half the speed of smell. We got passed by a kite. There was a goose behind us, the pilot was screaming, "Go around! Go around!" On the way there, we lost some oil pressure in one of the engines, so we had to turn around. It's a 9-minute flight...can't pull it off with this equipment. And they told us about it over the speaker system of the plane, which was stupid because they coulda just went [looks backward] "Hey, we lost some oil pressure." [gives a thumbs-up] Heard ya! Sure did. Of course, I'd been drinking since lunch, so I was like, "Take it down, I don't care. Hit somethin' hard, I don't wanna limp away from this piece of shit." The guy sitting next to me is losing his mind; apparently, he had a lot to live for. He turns to me, he says "Hey man! [gasps for air] Hey, man! Hey, man! [gasps for air] If one of these engines fails, [gasps for air] how far will the other one take us?" So I was like, "All the way to the scene of the crash! Which is pretty handy, 'cause that's where we're headed. I bet we beat the paramedics there by a half-hour! We're haulin' ass!"
Ron White- "There was a guy down in Florida who said that, at the age of 53 years old, he was in good enough physical condition to withstand the wind, rain and hail of a force-3 hurricane. Now, let me explain somethin' to ya: it isn't that the wind is blowin', it's what the wind is blowin'. If you get hit by a Volvo, it doesn't matter how many sit-ups you did that morning. If you have a "Yield" sign in your spleen, joggin' don't really come into play. "I can run 25 miles without stopping." "You're bleedin'." "Shit!"
Ron White- "I got thrown out of a bar in New York City. Now when I say I got thrown out of a bar, I don't mean someone asked me to leave, and we walked to the door together, and I said, "Bye, everybody, I gotta go." Six bouncers hurled my ass out of a nightclub like I was a Frisbee. Those big ol' New York bouncers who thinks bouncing's a cool job. They just talk about bouncing. They get together with other bouncers and talk about bouncing. They go home and watch Roadhouse and beat off. [Retarded voice] "Patrick Swayze's hittin' another guy! [laughs stupidly]" for wearing a hat. I walk in a bar with a hat on; this guy, real pissy, goes "Take off the hat!" [proceeds to mock-flex, looking much like a gorilla] I'm like, "What's the deal?" "I'll tell you what the deal is- gay people in this area wear hats and we're trying to keep 'em out of our club." I was like, "Oh really? The only way we can tell down in Texas is if they have a haircut like... well, yours." and he got all pissed. Anyway, I took off the hat, and he walked away. About an hour later, I was drinking and I forgot. You ever forget? It happened to me. Now, I'm between 6'1" and 6'6", depending on which convenience store I'm leaving, and I weigh about 235 lbs, and this guy is pokin' me on the shoulder with two fingers. He said, "That's it, you're outta here!" I said, "I don't think so, Scooter." I was wrong. They hurled me out of that night club, and then they decided to square off with me in the parking lot. But I backed down 'cause I didn't know how many of them it was going to take to whip my ass, but I knew how many they were going to use. That's a handy piece of information to have, right there.
The cops were called 'cause we broke a chair on the way out and I refused to pay for it. I refused to pay for it because we broke it over my thigh. At that point I had the right to remain silent — but I didn't have the ability. The cop was like, "Mr. White, you are being charged with drunk... in... publ-ic-kah!" I was like, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! I was drunk in a bar. They threw me into pub-lic. I don't want to be drunk in pub-lic, I want to be drunk in a bar, which is perfectly legal... arrest them!" They didn't arrest them. Instead, they had me do a field sobriety test. That's where you stand on 1 foot, raise the other foot 6" off the ground and count to 30. I made it to "wuh" (loses balance). "Is that gonna be close enough?" It wasn't close enough, so they call in for my arrest record. There's some good news! Satellites are linkin' up in outer space, computer banks at NASA are kickin' on, there's a telegraph in Fritch, Texas going (makes a long series of beeping noises, imitating Morse Code) This part takes a while. (more beeping noises followed by a trilling Brrrrrrrrrrrrrp) Shorthand. (a pause) BeepAnyway, I told you that story to tell you this story. When I was 17, was arrested for being drunk... in... pub-lic. (Jeff Foxworthy says) There seems to be a pattern here. (Ron White continues) If you knew Morse Code, you'd already know that. One DWI, which was a bogus charge because they were stopping everybody that was drivin' down that particular sidewalk... and that's profilin... and profilin' is wrong. The arresting officer, who I had literally known all my life, you know what I mean? This guy lived four doors down from me in a town of less than 400 people. We've met. Anyway, at the station, he asks me if I have any aliases. And I was just being a smartass and said, "Yeah, they call me... Tater Salad." Seventeen years later, I'm handcuffed to a bench with blood comin' out my nose, this cop comes up to me and says, "Are you Ron... Tater Salad White?" You caught me! You caught the Tater! You can take down those roadblocks now.
Robin Williams- "Twitter broke the other day, and a lot of people were going, "My Thumbs! My thumbs are moving for no reason! What's that?" "A book". "Who are you?" "Dad. I miss you. Let's talk."
Robin Williams- "Immigration, Arnold's a little old school. Arnold how will you handle immigration? 'I will build a wall.' And even the chinese go 'That will not fucking work. They will go around your wall.' And who will build the wall? 'The people you're trying to fucking keep out.'
Sel's Note(s): Hi everyone!!! First off I want to thank everyone who is actually taking the time to read this. So THANKS!!! :D Also i have some info about my stories; #1. I have a tendency of making Harry into a girl and/or having a girl be the main charater. Don't ask me why...I just do! I'll have at least a warning in the summary so you will know before you read the story. If you don't like that kind of thing do not read the story. I'm tired of getting emails and stuff about how (whoever you are) doesn't agree with or like my character(s). So please keep all you negativity to yourself(s)!!!! Please and thank you!!! #2 I am currently working two jobs and going to class(s) so i really don't have a lot of spare time on my hands. I PROMISE to try and update all of my stories regularly however i may end up focusing my attention on only one or two at certain points. And #3 I appreciate anyone and everyone who leaves me a review. Please please feel free to review, ask questions, or comment. I even take critism (sorry if i just spelt that wrong, i'm in a hurry) as long as you are polite and not being rude/cruel.
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