Kiwi and a Random Penguin
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Joined 07-30-11, id: 3117921, Profile Updated: 03-29-14
Author has written 8 stories for Mario, Pokémon, Misc. Games, Disgaea, and Legend of Zelda.

Kiwi is having a fresh start...if she can bring herself to do work.

Hey, ya know...Pairing wars are like the game Battleship. Each side is trying to destroy each other, and each pairing is a different type of ship...

The huge OTPs that would be an ass to kill, those pairings that are just...there, with a moderate amount of fans (and usually have a 'rival' pairing, and those weird pairings you rarely see...usually the one like no one supports...

So, here's a game. List your fav parings and see what kind of 'ship' they are. Do you prefer the OTPs? Or those less supported, but also logical ones...? Or crack pairings? Or are you a melting pot? (Hopefully not literally.)

Here's your ship selection.

Passenger Ship/Titanic- OTPs. Basically, one of the most widely supported ships in the fandom.

Submarine- One of those hard-to-find pairings at first, but then once you ship it you realize how big the fandom for it actually is.

Lifeboat- Extremely rare pairing. Usually crack pairings or crossover pairings.

Cargo Ship- Widely supported pairing, but not as much as the OTP. May or may not have a rival pairing. Usually in wars with other Cargo Ships in the fandom whenever they share a character.

Put this game and your list on your profile with pride if you're awesome enough. If you did, sign your name in the list next to the "X".

X-Kiwi and a Random Penguin (Creator),

Don't worry broz, I won't bite!...Unless you're made out of candy.


In case if you didn't know, I do favor some pairings over others. But that's not an excuse to flame or threaten someone just because they don't agree with YOUR pairings. Everyone has their own opinions. I mean, if all romance fics were Zelink or Mario x Peach, wouldn't that get kinda BORING? Honestly! There's nothing wrong with yaoi/yuri pairings, but you shouldn't hate on straight parings either! Seriously, fangirls/fanboys! WHAT THE FUCK?

Current Ideas (WARNING: Titles might suck.):

Disgaea 5.3: Perverts and Insane Vampires Don't Mix (Note to Self: must shorten title)

Takes place after Disgaea 5: The Start of an Old Life. Well, Valzy got pissed at Keanna, so he sends her to Evil Academy get her straightened out! But it looks like he forgot about that pervert known as Mao...and said Overlord seems to be acting even weirder than usual. Will Keanna *coughcoughandalmazcough* figure this out? Will Plot successfully avoid being chainsawed by Sapphire? Does Valzy even give a fuck about this? Why do I like asking questions I know the answers of so much?

Edible Mirror (Kirby)

Kirby returns to the Mirror World along with his three clones to find that now all of the areas except Rainbow Route is made of food! Uh oh. Uuuuuh oh.

This Isn't Supposed to Work Out (My first attempt at a romance fic, therefore, it will probably suds. Badly) (Vocaloid!)

Meiko refuses to admit her feelings. Kaito's to shy to admit he likes Meiko back. And with Miku and the twins trying to meddle, this may as well be the matchmaking attempt to be told for the ages. Tsundere!Meiko x Toeto!Kaito.

Coolio Quotes

"Me: Can I come in? My friend Ryan: What's the magic word? Me: Please? Ryan: *opens door* No, Abracadabra!"-Real life I got thoroughly pwned.

"Tristan (my cousin, after we ate some s'mores): We'd like s'more, please. *Me, my little sis, and Tristan laugh stupidly, while me and Tristan hive-five*"-Real life We actually got s'more! :D

"Oh shi- *get pied*-Meta Knight, Hoshi no Kaabii That scene was so close to getting deleted by 4Kids

"PO-TA-TOES. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew!" Sam Gamgee, Lord of the Rings I found this on another profile. That is all

"*Is fighting Bowser X, with only Luigi* Me: No...I will not die...I SHALL STRIVE FOR SUCCESS! *runs out of turns* Me:...Damn. At least I didn't die." Now I am glad I equipped the Bro Socks.

"*Once more, fighting Bowser X* Me: Ugh...this isn't gonna end...I'm gonna run out of turns... *kills Bowser from counterattack* Me: Whut? Did I *stares in awe for a sec* Me: YES! YES! I DID IT! *plays Guile's Theme in head and dances*" Victory!

"*while playing Disgaea 4, my mushroom guy is attacking those dang bouncers* CMON! GII CAN DO IT-OH HEY, UNINTENTIONAL PUN!* Why yes. All of this was yelled. But NO ONE GETS THE REFERENCE.

"Friend: You know K, I was talking to my brother about how I get shy around T, and he says that when my face turns purple, I'm actually blushing...DON'T GET THE WRONG IDEA! Me: *Gets wrong idea* Wait, so does that mean you a les- Friend: NO! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT! >:(" Trolololo.

"*Bored at Wal-mart* My little sis: Well, you're sooo ugly! *Didn't really mean it, we were just screwing around* Me: Well...*randomly looks at T-shirt* YOU'RE AN UGLY T-SHIRT! Sis: You're an uglier T-shirt! Me: You are the most ugliest T-shirt!" Do YOU know any ugly T-shirts?

"*Sees Elmo on TV* OH! I REMEMBER HIM! BA BA BABA, BA BA BABA, ELMO'S WORLD! ...Wait, I can't remember yesterday's homework, but I can remember a song I heard over five years ago?" Self-Explanitory.

"PRAAAAAAIISSSSEEEE THE SUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"-Some random raged gamer on Youtube. Apparently, this guy hates Dark Souls. I don't care. PRAISE THE SUN!

"Why yes, I love to read. Problem? Cuz I already know and am proud of being a hyperactive-nerd perfectionist." -Le me. I FLIPPING LOOOOOOVE TO READ. GO BOOKS!

I can make my crap explode!"-Ume, Mutt Camp by twilitprincess If you love crackfics, Okami, the Canine Warriors, Oki, or all of the above, then read this. YOU WILL LAUGH YOUR AZZ OFF. 'Nuff said.

"Uh...what? Oh, sorry. I was too busy not paying attention." -My typical response to people I ignore for a reason.

"Have you ever had a um you had, would you could you wit you want could do want him to do you so much you could do anything? :D" -Kid Totally nailed it.

"Um...okay...there a dude playing the flute in a's in a tree? This is Naruto? Oh, he's French too. Trufax, Issun. Oh, now he's on the water. He really is a nin-HOLY BALLS TO PULLED OUT A LIGHTSABER?! HE'S A JEDI NINJA! What...OH, SO YOU HAVE A SWORD TOO? That's so unnecessary! Oh, you wanna g-YA WANNA GO? COME AT ME, BRO. -My first reaction to Waka from Okami.

"Oh my gosh...are you serious? CMON...CMON! ACCEPT MY KANJI, DAMMIT! SERIOUSLY? Ya know what? Screw the Demon Trial Gates, screw Yami, screw Mr. Fucking Dream and Ballos, THIS is hard! I mean, drawing kanji for a designer...THIS IS SERIOUSLY HARD SHIT. AGGGH. AGGGGH. ACCEPT. MY. FUCKING. KANJI. -Me, doing the endlessly frustrating sidequest for Stray Bead #48 sidequest. Okami players know what I'm talking about.

Things I Hate About Fanfiction

-Stories with obvious grammatical and spelling errors.

-Stories that have almost no plot, unless it's a troll/crackfic.

-People who just take obvious trollfics way too seriously.

-Le flamers. ALL OF THEM.

-Author's notes that are so long they take up half of the story.

-EXTREMELY long chapters. I get a headache by the time I'm done with them. Such colornessnesss! IT BURNSSS.

-Mary Sues.

-People who refuse to update unless they get _ amount of reviews. Seriously, what if your readers are just socially awkward?

-People who just don't give a crap about grammar, punctuation, and spelling (aka mechanics)

-Pairing Wars, fangirls/fanboys who flame every romance story that doesn't contain their pairing. *obviously exaggerated*

-People who bash all of the girls in the story, regardless of their canon personality, just so they can 'justify' their pairing. That's just Kira-like...

-When authors don't give a f* about constructive criticism. It's there for a reason, you know.

-When people don't put crossovers in the crossover section. SERIOUSLY, WHUT. THE FOLDER'S THERE FOR A REASON.

-People over-bashing critics. They're tolerable, and their just trying to help. And death threats don't help.

-When critics delete stories. Um, hello, freedom of the press? And they might be rewriting it as you delete. Give them a chance.

-When people talk like'OMG!!111!1!' or 'ur storie iz Dee bezt in the wOrld1!!1 Moore plez' all the time (aka text talk). Learn to spell, dammit. Unless it's a trollfic. That's the only exception.

-When people don't sort things in general (forums, stories, crossovers, etc.) Seriously, if you're OCD-ish like me, stuff like that is going to nag you for a long time.


-Chapters that only contain a single event. (Such as 'He dodged an arrow and a mysterious shadow appears! OMG! AN: Kay, that's all for today!

If you get tons of ideas, but end up throwing most of them out because they eventually sound stupid, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Omg i just read this profile after like 2 years and im laughing my butt off i get so embarassed at myself yay

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Shards by bladespark reviews
Link has defeated all enemies to face him, including his own shadow. But now he's seeing his shadow's eyes whenever he looks in a mirror. What does it mean, and what will happen when his shadow asks him for a chance to live? -A different take on the relationship between Link and Dark Link, and between Link and the masks he wears.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 16 - Words: 68,959 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 2/24/2015 - Published: 5/28/2012 - Link, Dark Link, Zelda
The Trainer From A Far Away Land by RenegadeWarrior reviews
This human was unlike anyone N had ever met. His Pikachu was just as extraordinary. Together, they shone so brightly no one could look away and N was no exception. NxAsh if you squint.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 46,422 - Reviews: 296 - Favs: 1,221 - Follows: 1,100 - Updated: 5/27/2014 - Published: 1/12/2012 - Ash K./Satoshi, Pikachu, Zorua, N H./Natural H. G.
The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga by Queenie Z reviews
Meanwhile, in the Hyrulian version of Valhalla, where the Heroes go when they die… A series of cracky shorts featuring all of the Links and their wacky adventures in the afterlife. (This story is currently on HIATUS. Please read the FAQ for more details!)
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 111 - Words: 83,375 - Reviews: 664 - Favs: 605 - Follows: 429 - Updated: 12/7/2013 - Published: 1/16/2012 - Link - Complete
If I Die Young by PrincessAmerica101 reviews
America is going to die in one year. This is an account of how he spends his last few months of life as a nation, rebuilding friendships, fixing mistakes, rebuilding his 'family', and being a hero at last. Cover art by Kenna Cat.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Family/Tragedy - Chapters: 27 - Words: 32,697 - Reviews: 1135 - Favs: 889 - Follows: 484 - Updated: 9/4/2013 - Published: 12/13/2011 - America - Complete
little bird by LittlelazyCat reviews
Long after both L and Light Yagami, aka Kira, were dead, L's headquarters still remained. Security was as tight as ever, and all was quiet... until a mysterious girl breaks in and steals some very important data. After the series, possible Near x OC.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 12,974 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 1/22/2012 - Published: 7/5/2011 - Near
Butterfree by Dragonfree reviews
Trainers aren't supposed to have favorites, but you were my favorite. And then you started losing.
Pokémon - Rated: K - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,773 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 24 - Published: 1/10/2012 - Butterfree - Complete
Clichés with the Four Swords Team by Time's Quill reviews
A story that makes the Fourth Wall huddle into a corner and cry. Rated T for light swearing, yaoi cracks, Mary-Sue bashing, and the occasional drug reference. Traumatizing children: baaaad. Traumatizing teenagers: goooood.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 33,603 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 12/21/2011 - Published: 10/19/2011
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Just Another Stupid Story reviews
You know how you've always dreamed of your favorite video game characters of being real? Well, they are. And they are getting out of control. So, Miyamoto and friends have only one kind of person to help them-the fans. *WARNING-Will contain swearing, pervertedness, and weirdness. ACCEPTING OCS*
Misc. Games - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,092 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1/25/2013
The Legend of the Three reviews
Hm, let's see. 3 LoZ fans trapped in Skyward Sword? Check. The Imprisoned has been renamed Fluffy? Check. The newer wielder of the True Master Sword's sister is shorter than the sword itself? Check. Well, this will be interesting. *will be updated sporadically,revisions saved until end of fic*
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,480 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 11/19/2012 - Published: 3/22/2012 - Fi
Silent Ramblings reviews
The Silent Realm. Hoo boy. Kiwi's favorite flippin' part of Skyward Sword. Join us as we see exactly what our potentially ADHD author is up to in Din's Silent Realm. Basically a narration of my runthrough of Din's Silent Realm. Rated T for rapid, panicked cursing.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,451 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/2/2012 - Complete
Disgaea 5: The Start of an Old Life reviews
I suck at titles. Anyway, Plot just wanted a normal life. But sadly, fate has other plans. Why is Plot turning into a werewolf? Why is Keanna mistaken for Valzy's sister? Does he even have a sister? OC submissions are closed.
Disgaea - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,982 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 10/6/2012 - Published: 10/15/2011
PMD: Explorers of Light reviews
An amnesiac Manaphy? A fire-wielding Phione? A gyarados in an eternal conflict with the author? Nope, this is NOT gonna end well. Is it? How the hell am I supposed to know? :/
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 16,349 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 10/6/2012 - Published: 8/2/2011 - Manaphy, Phione
...I was bored, okay? And hungry.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 226 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10/27/2011 - Complete
Extreme Randomness! reviews
Exactly what it say on the title. Rated T for occasional cursing.
Misc. Games - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 266 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/9/2011
It's Worth It reviews
What if Mario and company was actually trapped in Nintendo's devices, forced to do what they do just for children's amusement? Oneshot. My first story, so please don't flame!
Mario - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 249 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 8/2/2011 - Mario - Complete