AlwaysOlivia
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Joined 07-31-11, id: 3119024, Profile Updated: 01-22-13
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight, 39 Clues, and Ouran High School Host Club.

Hi! I'm AlwaysOlivia. I like virtual tacos! I'm insane. I'm awesome. My profile is looooong, and I'm just gonna keep adding. I love books! that's all that matters. Books! BOOKS! (I also love reading them, not just the actual existance of books.)

One time I went up to a guy and said "I challenge you to a duel!" Then we ate tacos.

Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and Hell is afraid I'll take over :D


I love the twilight saga! If you just said, "How can she like that stuff?" then you should get off my profile right now. I like Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Wolves of Mercy Falls, etc.,etc., pretty much every popular book EXCEPT the Artemis Fowl series. I got halfway through the first chapter and I was bored out of my mind. Sorry but its true. I don't get the books so deal with it.

Favorite Quotes:

Kid In My Math Class: Hey Mr. Hudson, how tall are you?

Mr. Hudson (my math teacher): I'm 5'11.

Kid In My Math Class: Is that why you're not in the NBA?

Mr. Hudson: The thing about those NBA players, is that they're not actually good atheletes. They're just freakin tall.

Me: *laughs uncontrollably* Oh my gosh *gasping for breath* That was so funny, I can't believe you just said that. - Me, My math teacher, and my friend Jacob

My friend Casey: Can you pass me that pencil?

Me: I don't want to. *Gets it anyway, chucks it a him*

Casey: *Tries to catch the pencil. It hits his hand and pierces the skin, lodging itself under the skin* Oh my god!

Me: Hahahahahahah!

Casey: It's stuck! *Pulls pencil out* Oh god, I'm bleeding! This is why I don't like having pencils thrown at me! -Me and Casey

Chip Skylark: Omigosh! It's the guy from the record company!-Fairly Odd Parents

Tamaki: I will drink this coffee!- Ouran High School Host Club

Tamaki Fangirl: I don't think I can drink this.

Tamaki: What if I let you drink it... from my mouth? *seductively*

Tamaki Fangirl: Well then I would drink it. -OHSHC

Hatsuharu: He's having an asthma attack.

Toruh: Oh no! His bronchial tubes! -Fruits Basket (I know it's not supposed to be funny, but it's totaly unrealistic that some one would say that when a persons having an asthma attack XD.)

Hatsuharu: *Shaking the School President, trying to get his point across*

Kyo: Don't hurt him! Cut it out! He's just an idiot! - Fruits Basket

Hatsuharu: (To the Class President) You stubborn idiot, what would you do if it was Yuki wearing a girl's uniform?

Yuki: Haru, cut it out or I will cut you off.

Hatsuharu: Aw, have my words made you angry?

Class President: *whimpers, thinking of Yuki in the girl's uniform* It's... beautiful...

Yuki: STOP IMAGINING ME! - Fruits Basket

Favorite Characters:

Fruits Basket: Hatsuharu, Hatori, Shigure I freaking love Hatori!!!!!!

Ouran HSHC: Kyouya, Kaoru, Hikaru

Twilight: Emmett, Jasper

Avatar: Last Airbender: Sokka, Zuko, Azula Team Zutara!!!!!! Fire Nation FTW!!!!

Here's where all the useful stuff ends. If you want some useless laughs, by all means, continue. And if you're looking for my other stories, just scroll all the way down. Have fun!

Guy: I heard you got new chairs in your office.

Other Guy: Yeah we did. They're awesome.

Guy: Really? They have all four legs and everything?

Other Guy: No. We got brand new chairs and they all are missing one of their one of their legs. Yes they have all four legs.

put this
(o)on your page
if u like music

Less than 1 percent of female teenagers in the US don't use make-up. Are you one of those who don't? BE PROUD AND GLUE THIS THING IN YOUR PROFILE!!!

If you think the rabbit from the Trix commercial should go to the store and by his own box, copy this into your profile.

If you hate child abuse and want it to STOP, copy and past this on your profile.

If you can imagine yourself in a video game/ manga/ or anime, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you spend at least 3 hours a day looking at fanfictions...writing fanfictions...or looking at others profiles than copy and paste this on your profile!

FANFICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile.

you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

Rcneet sudteis sohw taht yuor mnid rades wdros as one wrod, not as snglie ltrtees, as lnog as the frsit and lsat lrettes are in tiehr rgiht pcales. So mnay polpee soluhd be albe to raed tihs; hewveor, tihs may not be the csae. If you are cpalbae of raidneg tihs, cpoy and pstae tihs itno yuor pflrioe.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, Larxene II, Dragons Ark, freakyanimegal456, The Sage of Spirits, Twilight Princess6, Solo384, Dark Maiden95, WritingBookworm, Lunaria Celeste, Goldenwritergirl

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're part of the two percent who hasn't, copy this, and paste it in your profile.

Many writers don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' If you happen to understand this mundanely ridiculous fact, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you want to be a writer and fanfiction is just the beginning, paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished that you could talk to animals, paste this into your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty then copy this into your profile!

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away then remebered, copy this into your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you honestly don't give a flying flip what anyone in any clique thinks about you, copy this onto your profile.

Studies show that someone has done something really stupid in their life. If you're one of those who has done something completely stupid, paste this onto your profile.

Studies show that only two percent of people has never copied and pasted something. If you're the other ninety-eight percent, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are the two percent, copy and paste this onto your profile to finally copy and paste something.

.eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If you have ever choked on your own spit, copy and paste this onto your profile

Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.

If you think cookies are awesome copy this onto your profile.

If you think writing is AWESOME copy this onto your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.

If you are sometimes anti-social, but still really personable, copy this to your profile.

If you avoid teen fads and don't live your life according to others copy and paste this.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you ever suffered from FanFiction withdrawal copy this into your profile!

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like your mom, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times you wanna annoy people for just the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If your singing in your head right this second, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writitng or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile

I have not, and WILL NOT try pot. If you agree, copy n’ paste

If you have a long and pointless list of 'copy and paste this into your profile' notes, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever been tempted to kick someone in the nuts, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever started laughing uncontrollably, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you don't fit the description of the non-existent word of 'normal', then put this into your profile right now!!

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you hate girly-girls or people who think that they are everything, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile

If you can't walk up or down stairs without looking at them, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing copy this on your profile

If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head against a desk for no reason copy this on your profile

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste.

If you met your near twin (In resemblance,personality,or both) copy this into your profile.

If you have ever looked at something that wasn't there when somebody said "Look its _", copy onto profile

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, C&P

If you DON'T have a boyfriend/girlfriend and you're proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear the voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste.

If you have ever been bored out of your mind, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless (but fun), and you do it anyways, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you’re a fangirl/boy and proud of it, copy this into your profile

If you're putting this in your profile only for entertainment purposes and to make your profile longer than it already is because that's just plain awesome, copy and paste this into your profile to make it longer than it already is by copying and pasting this into the profile you are trying to make longer. And yes, I am completely aware that I'm saying all this to make this copy and paste a heck of a lot longer than it has to be, I'm just smart like that.

If you've ever copied something from someone else's profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you enjoy the copy and paste feature, show your appreciation by copy and pasting this into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you use the Internet WAY too much, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you've ever hurt your face smiling.

If you think Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like to write, copy/paste this into your profile.

55 percent of people yawn after seeing someone yawn, in fact, reading about yawning will make some people yawn. If, after or while reading this, you yawned, copy and paste this in your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile :D

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that I think that you think that I think that you think that I am totally spazzing out right now with the 'If you thinks' copy this to your profile already!!

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been watching a T.V show, and when the commercials came on you forgot what you were watching copy this into your profile.

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep had the same tune, and were all composed by Mozart.

If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile.

If you like the Twilight books but hate the movies, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you created your own copy and paste thingy, copy and paste this.

If you read through all of somebody's copy and paste thingies, copy and paste and add your name to the list: Goldenwritergirl

STEREOTYPES!

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLACK so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenience store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I'm a GOTH so I must be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm BRITISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick. (HARRY POTTER FTW!)
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELLED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake.

A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain a best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, BITCH RUN!"

A friend wipes your tears when your rejected a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"(That’s me! I'd do anything 4 my bff)

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME, LET’S DO IT AGAIN!!

A good friend will comfort you when he breaks up with you. A BEST friend will call him, whispering "Seven days..."


Ѽ

Twilight Oath:

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills withremorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room
And I promiseto remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to to remember Rosalie
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promiseto despise the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know

OCD:

You have been diagnosed
with Obsessive Cullen
Disorder. Put this on your
profile if you've caught it too.

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(...And that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(Hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But no peas?)

On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(We don't get fake fake bacon. We get real fake bacon.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

On an American Flag:
Made in China
(Must I say anything?)

At Funplex:
Paintless Paintball
(So it's...ball?)

On a take-out coffee cup:
Caution: Hot beverages are hot.
(I hope so.)

On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
This broom does not actually fly.
(Just destroyed another one...)

On a muffin packet:
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
(But how do I eat it?)

Rules on a tram in Prague:
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death! Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.
(This one really doesn't need explaining...)

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/stick. (Yep.
You love to shop. (Most of the time, but it depends on what I'm buying.)
You wear eyeliner. (Don't wear make up...)
You wear the color pink. (No, definetly not.)
Go to your mom for advice. (YES. I have the coolest mom ever.)
You consider cheerleading a sport. (How exactly would leading cheers be a sport?)
You hate wearing the color black. (I have nothing against the color.)
You like hanging out at the mall. (No thank you...)
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures. (I like being pampered.)
You like wearing jewelry. (I wouldn't remeber to put it on.)
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe. (No. I usually stick to jeans. If it's hot, I have a few pairs of shorts.)
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies. (Not at all...)
You don't like the movie Star Wars. (I've never actually seen it.)
You were in gymnastics/dance. (I took both when I was around 6 years old. Gymnastics for 2 years.)
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up. (No makeup though.)
You smile a lot more than you should. (It's starting to become a problem. :D)
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes. (They collect over the months.)
You care about what you look like. (I just don't want to look like a hobo.)
You like wearing dresses when you can. (If the occasion calls for a dress, I wear one, but I'm not in love with them.)
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne. (I don't actually own any.)
You love the movies. (Oh ya!)
Used to play with dolls as little kid. (Not really...)
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it. (Putting on make-up is like painting. It's fun.)
Like being the star of every thing. (People at school seem to know me even if I don't know them

Total: 13

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies. (Yes, yes!)
You love jeans. (love jeggings!)
Dogs are better than cats. (Definetly.)
It's hilarious when people get hurt. (MOST people anyway.) (Yes, yes it is. :D)
You've played with/against boys on a team. (Of course!)
Shopping is torture. (Not really...)
Sad movies suck. (They do.)
You own/ed an X-Box. (Nope, never have.)
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid. (Yes because all my friends were guys.)
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter. (Nope.)
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega. (I have a DS.)
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers. (I wouldn't call it an obsession...)
You watch sports on TV. (Occasionally basketball and softball because I play those sports.)

Gory movies are cool. (Sometimes.)
You go to your dad for advice. (Nope.)
You own like a trillion baseball caps. (Ummm...no)
You like going to high school football games. (I'm not in high school and I don't know anybody in highschool so I would be out of place.)
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards. (Don't have any, don't collect any.)
Baggy pants are cool to wear. (Nah. :/ )
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. (Yeah, it is.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors. (Totally! Green.)
You love to go crazy and not care what people think. (Yes, but isn't that sorta a girl thing?)
Sports are fun. (Loads of fun.)
Talk with food in your mouth. (Yeah, I do. But I try not to.)
Sleep with your socks on at night. (How is that a guy thing?

Total: 16

PREP
You own a cell phone. (who doesn't?)
You own something from Abercrombie. (Yep.)
You own something from Pac sun. (Uh-huh.)
You own something from Hollister. (A hoodie.)
You own something from American eagle. (Nope.)
You love/like going to the mall. (kinda.)
You own an iPod/MP3 player. (Yes.)
You love Starbucks. (Yes, but I don't go there often.)
You have been called a brat. (No.)
You hate buying things that are on sale. (No.)
You have more than one house. (kinda. we don't goe to it often but we own it.)

Total: 7

GOTHIC

Black is one of your favorite colors. (Yes.)
You have thought about death. (Who hasn't?)
You wear chains. (No.)
You like heavy metal. (Ouch.)
You’ve shopped at Hot Topic. (I went there to look but I was broke so I didn't get anything.)
You have worn black lipstick. (...Not gonna.)
Your hair was/is dark. (yeah but it's natural.)
You dislike preps. (Not sure what a prep is.)
You’re an atheist/ Satanist/agnostic. (Huh?)

Total: 3

PUNK

You can skateboard. (yeah.)
You’ve worn plaid. (*nod*)
You like Converse. (Why wouldn't I?)
You hate MTV. (No!.)
You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair. (Yep. mostly school colors. see below.)
You dislike pink. (Not dislike it. I'm ok with it.)
You hate/dislike preps. (We've gone over this.)
You wear/wore skateboarding shoes. (What would qualify as a skateboarding shoe?)

Total: 3

GEEK

You love the computer. (OH YES YES YES!)
You like Harry Potter. (Harry Potter is a WIN.)
You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts. (20/20 vision, baby!.)
You get straight A's. (Yay!)
You love/like reading. (I do, I really really do.)
You were/are in band. (Don't count school band). (Eh, only school band. I play trombone.)
You don't care what you look like. (Not necessarily.)
You have a curfew. (I don't really go out.)
You always do your homework. (Yeah.)
You never miss school unless you're sick. (No, I've missed school for a bunch of reasons.)

Total: 5

ATHLETIC

You watch/watched the Super bowl. (I like the commercials!)
You own track shoes or other sports related shoes. (Cleats, track shoes, basketball shoes... you get it.)
You collect your jerseys. ( Softball jerseys!)
You have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies/awards. (yeah. They're shiny.)
You have posters or plaques of famous athletes. (No.)
Your garage consists of sports equipment. (Yeah.
You belong/belonged to a school team. (Yes. I did track team for school.)
You are going/did go to a sports summer camp. (7 hours a day of INTENSE basketball traing. I was sore for weeks afterward.)
You have a specific number. (that's not how it works in my city. You get whatever jersey they hand you. I do have a nickname: Boss XD)

Total: 6

HARDCORE//SCENE

You like loud music. (I like to blast certain songs.)
You love/loved the Ninja Turtles. (They're cute.)
You never walk anywhere. (What's wrong with walking?)
You wear slip-on shoes. (Yes.)
You wear/wore Vans. (Totally.)
You like the band Panic! At the disco. (Never heard of them. Never been to the disco.)
You wear band t-shirts. (No.)
People have called you a freak and meant it. (No, everyone likes me.)
You love to "hardcore" dance. ("Hardcore"? XD)
Hair has been died more than 1 color. (I once had purple hair and another time blue and yellow.)

Total: 4

O This is Bob.
-l- You don't have to copy and paste him onto your profile.
/\ But he'd like it if you did.

...V...Put this
...A...On your
...M...Profile
...P...If
...I...You
...R...Have
...E...That crazy
...S...Obsession over vampires!

Reasons why girls are the best

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your asses off.


1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Target has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "Just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave ‘em in the middle)

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.

If ya can't kill 'em, you're domed

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid backside.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.


If you slap anyone who tells you that Edward Cullen is not real, copy and paste this into your profile


NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
TWILIGHT FANS: would rather rely on Alice for future predictions

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
TWILIGHT FANS: say OH MY EDWARD!! (OME, actaully OH MY EMMETT :D)

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
TWILIGHT FANS: know that Jasper already can sense their feelings without saying a word

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!
TWILIGHT FANS: say shut up or i'll get james to kill you

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that vampires are all like Dracula
TWILIGHT FANS: know A LOT better and absolutely love the Cullen vampires

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
TWILIGHT FANS: when being chased yell EDWARD SAVE ME!!

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
TWILIGHT FANS: know that the Cullens might be playing baseball somewhere and Emmett was just at bat ; )

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
TWILIGHT FANS: would go directly to FORKS WASHINGTON

NORMAL PEOPLE: yell, the sun! it burns!
TWILIGHT FANS: yell, the sun! it makes me sparkle!

NORMAL PEOPLE:dont have this on there profile
TWILIGHT FANS: MUST have this on there profile!

You know you're a 39 Clues fan when...

You are one-hundred percent sure that Kurt is a Vesper spy.

You cried (or at least felt like it) when Irina died.

You wish Ian and Amy would just kiss and make up already!

Whenever you see something suspicious, you claim it's a Vesper spy sent to kill you.

You've read nearly every FanFiction on the 39 Clues fandom, (All the one's I can read! Mostly the Aimen ones but hey)

You've dreamed about 39 Clues once... or twice... or more...

Anytime someone talks about someone famous like George Washington, you're always telling them what Cahill branch they're from.

Whenever you see a famous guy like Benjamin Rush or John Hancock, you wonder if they're a Cahill, Vesper, or none of the above.

Your parents roll their eyes whenever you bring it up, because you talk about it WAY too much.

You started liking History because 1) Amy and Jonah like it 2) You need to prepare for the hunt, and 3) You need to know more about your relatives.

You try to live up to the expectations of your branch: you're an Ekaterina, so you're constantly trying to get better at math and/or science; you're a Janus, so you're always practicing music, writing and drawing; you're a Lucian, so you're always trying to solve puzzles and get better at lying...er, I mean acting; you're a Tomas, so you're always trying to do brave things, like water skiing.

when it comes out, even if it stinks (which you know it will because that's how it is with books-turned-into-movies, they're never as good as the books themselves)

You hate it when people remind you that the 39 Clues aren't real, and come up with a hundred reasons why it vary well possibly could be real.

Most of your daydreams consist of at least one character from the 39 Clues series.

You have a crush on one of the book characters.

You spend most (if not all) of your allowance on the Card Packs.

You wish you could meet all the authors.

You've declared September 27th national "Cahills Made Up Day!" or something close to that (see book ten, page 326, line 18, words 4 through 6 for confirmation!)

You want to take a trip around the world, and stop at all the places Amy and Dan went.

You confuse your history teacher as to why you know so much about Ben Franklen.

You have the first to pages of chapter 14 in book 3 memorized.

You knew someone named V was a problem before the 10th book because on the site somewhere it says "Could it be V?"

You read Shakespeare just to learn the insults like Dan.

When you're mad at someone you call them a "Slimy Lucian" even though they have no idea what you're talking about.

Every time you hear a love song you think of Ian/Amy.

You actually realized that Ian/Amy started likeing eachother the same way Hope/Author did.

You sepkulate as to who Irina's child's father is.

You think there is no way on Earth Irina's dead because she's to cool for that.

You have plans to break into the KGB just to get Irina's fingernail things.

You started saying "dissing" because Jonah does.

The wallpaper on your computer has something to do with the 39 Clues.

You bought a book just because it was writen by one of the authors.

You desperetly want to be in the movie.

You cheer every time someone says "39".

You "go all Lucian" on anyone who disses the books.

You say "go all Lucian".

39 Clues Creed.

When I'm at a funeral, I'll always wonder if the person who died was a Cahill.

When I'm about to make a choice that will change my life, I'll remember Mr. McIntyre

When I hear about Hollywood, I'll think of all the Janus and what drama they're pulling now.

When I hear about waring countries, I'll remember those silly little Lucians.

When ever there's an athletic event, I'll hope I won't face a Tomas.

When I study hard, I'll wish for the brain of an Ekaterina.

When I see families breaking up, and hurting each other, I'll remember Olivia Cahill, and the pain she when through.

When I see people trying to pick up the pieces and start over, I'll remember Madeleine.

When I hear a cat 'Mrrrp'-ing, I'll think of Saladin.

When I see crazy teenagers rocking out, I'll remember Nellie.

When I see eleven-year-old boys being boys, I'll remember Dan.

When I act crazy shy or stick my face in a book, I'll remember Amy.

When I see a family of sport fanatics, I'll remember the Holts.

When I see people acting like spies, I'll remember Irina.

When I see a monkey, I'll remember the innocent Nikolai

When ever I hear a British accent, I'll think of Ian.

When I see a girl having a tantrum, I'll think of Natalie.

When I stutter around boys I like, I'll remember Amy and Ian.

When I hear about acts of cruelty and murder, I'll shudder and remember Isabel.

When I think about the world in general, I'll think about every other Cahill in the world who don't know who they are.

If you love the 39 Clues as much as I do, repost this and add your name to the list.

blackstarfairyfiend, Evanescence456, RageRunsStill, Lapulta, The Girl of the Moon, Paperclip Chick,


Percy Jackson Pledge

I promise to remember Percy

Whenever i'm at sea

I promise to remember Annabeth

Whenever a spider comes at me

I promise to protect nature

For Grovers sake of course

I promise to remember Luke

Whenever my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Chiron

Whenever I see a "free pony ride"

I promise to remember Thalia

When a friends afraid of heights

I promise to remember Clarisse

Whenever someone gives me a fright

I promise to remember Bianca

When a sister scolds her brother

I promise to remember Nico

When I see someone who doesn't get along with others

I promise to remember Zoe

When I look up at the stars

I promise to remember Rachel

When a limo passes my car

Yes I promise to remember PJO

Wherever I may go.

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
PJO FANS:will tell Zeus to make it rain
NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS! (No censorship meant; it's just a obsession fan thing)
NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
PJO FANS:won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers
NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!
PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!
NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid
PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid
NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers
NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down
NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood
NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile
PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile!

Important Things I Learned From Rick Riordan

Even cat goddesses like growling at birds.

Underwater kisses are way better than normal ones.

The five elements are earth, air, fire, water, and cheese.

Children of rival gods can fall in love.

No one really knows why the Egyptians wrote without vowels.

Nemean lions can be defeated with freeze dried ice cream.

Eating fruit bats is bad for your health.

Contrary to popular belief, hellhounds can be domesticated.

The Set animal does not appreciate being named Leroy.

Yes, that twelve year old wearing a silver jacket is a goddess.

Jackal headed gods can be very attractive. (VERy, VERY Attractive!)

Math teachers really are evil.

Set's secret name is Evil Day. (Use this to your advantage...)

It's not easy to insult a daughter of Athena.

Elvis was a magician. No, really.

Do not trust the bald man who wants to sell you a water bed.

Hieroglyphics are fun to read.

A god of toilet paper can actualy be really cool.

Demons will give you free samples if you ask nicely.

If you hear a voice in your head, you're not crazy - you just have an uber-powerful god living inside you


You Know You're a Book Addict If:

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. (I fall asleep at four then no one wakes me up or I don't wake up till like ten during the summer :'o( )

You write fanfictions about the book.

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read your favorite books.

You accidentally call everyone by the character's names.

Everything reminds you of the book.

You quote random lines all the time

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't.

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class.

You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod.

You've got a book memorized.

You've read a book more than five times.

You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days.

You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like

You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend.

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional.

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.

Your idol is a character from a book.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

WHAT RACE ARE YOU?

British
You drink a lot of tea.
You know what a brolly is.
Deal or No Deal has taken over your life.
You wanted Alex to win X Factor.
Fish and Chips are yummy
You use the word "bugger"or the phrase "bloody hell."
can eat a Full English Breakfast.
You dislike emos almost as much as you dislike chavs.
Its football.. not ... soccer.
Total: 2

Australian
You wear flip flops all year
You call flip flops thongs not flip flops
You love a backyard barbie.
You know a barbie is not a doll.
You love the beach.
Sometimes you swear without realizing.
You're a sports fanatic.
You are tanned.
You're a bit of a bogan.
You have an australian something
Total: 4

Italian
The Sopranos is a great show Your last name ends in a vowel Your grandmother/mother makes her own sauce You know how a real meatball tastes.
You know Italian songs.
You have darkish hair.
You speak SOME Italian.
You are under 5'10''.
Pizza/spaghetti is the best food in the world.
You talk with your hands
Total: 5

Spanish
You say member instead of remember.
You speak Spanish (a little)
You like tacos.
You know what a Puta is
You talk fast.
You have had highlights or have dyed your hair.
You know what platanos are.
You've said Te Amo or Te Quiero
Total: 2

Russian
You say villain as: Vee-lon.
You have more than one vodka bottle in your house
You know the difference between channel 1 and rtvi
You know of somebody named Natasha.
You don't get cold easily.
You get into contests all the time.
You can make do with the cold weather.
You love listening to trance
Total: 3

Polish
Your parents let you drink
You know what a pizda is
You have Pierogi at least once a week
People always ask to see your "kielbasa" checking if your Polish
People randomly call you their best friend
You have made/know what pisanki are
You laughed when Poland beat the USA in the 2002 world cup
Total: 1

Irish
You think beer is the best.
You have a bad temper.
Your last name starts with a Mc, Murph, O', Fitz or ends with a y, on, un, an,en, in, ry, ly.
You have blue or green eyes.
You like the color green.
You have been to a St. Paddys day party.
You have a family member from Ireland.
You have/had freckles.
Your family get togethers always include drinking.
You have an odd love of leprechauns
You have four leaf clovers
Total: 3

Asian
You have slanty/small eyes.
You eat rice a lot.
You are good at math.
You have played the piano.
You have family from Asia.
You laugh sometimes covering your mouth.
Most people think you're Chinese.
You have glasses/contacts.
You call hurricanes typhoons.
You go to Baulko.
You play Handball more than once a week
You know what DDR is
Total: 4

German
You like bread.
You think American Chocolate is good.
You Speak some German.
You know what Schnitzel is.
You hate it when stupid people call you a Nazi.
You went to Pre-school.
You're over 5'10".
You know the real meaning of "Fag".
You make pretty words sound scary.
You enjoy watching the military.
You know that GUMMY BEARS were invented in Germany.
Total: 7

Canadian
You like to ride 4 wheelers.
You love beer.
You say eh.
You know what poutine is.
You speak french
You love Tim Horton's.
At one point you lived in a farm house.
You watch/watched Degrassi.
You play/ played hockey or watch it.
You know who Massari is.
Total: 3

French
You like french toast.
You love wine.
You speak a little or are fluent in French
You have eaten a snail.
You like fashion. i guess.
You have been to France
You are either a Catholic, a Muslim, a Protestant or a Jew.
You say "Zut" instead of damn
You own a beret.
You actually know what a beret is.
Total: 4

American
You hate foreigners.
You hate non - Christians.
You've been to more then 5 states.
You're lazy.
You are not cultured.
You don't read.
You shop at walmart.
You say restroom instead of washroom.
You spell colour "color".
Total: 7

Greek
You're very loud.
Your family alone makes a small city.
You blast music Saturday morning to clean the house.
You share a bathroom with 5 people.
You say "open the light" instead of "turn on the light".
Your parents still don't have their Green Card after 15 years in the U.S.
You go to church every Sunday.
You always have a "to go plate" when leaving from a party.
You have a last name that's hard to pronounce.
You eat potatoes with the skin ON it.
Total: 3

Brown (Indian, Guyanese, etc)
You know who Shahrukh Khan and Hrithik Roshan are.
You get crazy over Hollywood actors and actresses!
You know what the movie Dhoom 2 is.
You can eat really good spicy food!
You have lots and LOTS of spices at your home.
You came or live in Toronto and have been to Gerrard St.
You have any sort of ATN channel.
You know what koothi, kootha, or banchod is.
You love eating Tandoori Chicken.
You have relatives you've never even heard of.
Total: 1

EGYPTIAN :
You are smart in math or science
Your mom or dad are either doctors or engineers.
All you eat is kabab and kofta
Your parents have one car that's a Toyota
Your house actually does not smell like food.
You have like 67890 middle names
Total: 3

Native
You have been to a pow wow
You have a native name
You are more than a quarter native
You know what tribe your ancestors were in
You have painted your face like a warrior
You have been to a native exhibit out of school
You play/played lacrosse
You have eaten salmon
total: 3

Scottish
You can tell the difference between a Scottish & Irish accent
one of your family members has an accent
you actually don't mind bagpipes
Scottish recipes are in your household somewhere
you've heard the song "Scotland the brave"
no matter what, there will ALWAYS be whiskey at family gatherings
any team playing England is your best friend
you have tried haggis
Sean Connery lol
you drink tap water
you know Edinburgh is pronounce "Edin-buura"
total: 2

New Zealand
you get annoyed that people only remember your country because of how many sheep are there
you know what a barbie is
you hate aussies
you know what an 'aussie' is
you know that NZ is famous only because of lord of the rings
you like chocolate fish /or pineapple lumps
you know what L&P is and you like it!
total: 2


YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)

Oliizzle O_o huh?

YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)

Green Tiger KEWL

YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name)

Panolnoy No... just no.

YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink)

Purple Sprite that is so stupid... Purple water Eww that's worse

List characters from your favorite fandom in no particular order.

1. Emmet Cullen

2. Amy Cahill

3. Ian Kabra

4. Dan Cahill

5.Annabeth Chase

6. Tom Ward

7. Percy Jackson

8. Hermione Granger

9. Songebob

10. Grace (Wolves of Mercy Falls)

11. Nellie Gomez

12. Sam (Wolves of Mercy Falls)

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven FanFic? Do you want to?

(Tom Ward and Nellie) No, that will never happen

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

(Dan Cahill) Wow, okay, um... NO!!!

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight Pregnant?

(Sam Hermione) Oh my gosh no, that's just strange. LOL

4. Can you recall any Fanfics about Nine?

(Spongebob) no.

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

(Amy and Tom) Yeah actually. Tom fights the dark and Amy fights Cahills. Basiclly the same thing.

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

(Annabeth/Spongebob Anabeth/Grace) I don't even know what to say.

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

(Percy walked in on Amy and Sam) WTH?

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten Fic.

(Ian and Grace) Amy is cool and all but Grace is a wolf! Who should Ian pick?

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

(Emmett and Hermione)I'd actually like to know who wrote that so if you see one tell me.

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort Fic.

(Percy and Sam) Completely Different

12. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve Fic, what would the warning be?

(Emmet/Tom/Sam) Warining Boyish Stupidness

13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

(Annabeth) A week or so ago.

14. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (7) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).

Emmett and Percy are in a happy relationship until Percy runs off with Dan. Emmet, broken hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Nellie and a brief unhappy affair with Sam, then follows the wise advice of Annabeth and finds true love with Ian. Oh. My. God.

18. How would you feel if Seven/Eight were in a fight?

(Percy and Hermione) Hermione would win. Magic beats water. Duh.

19. What would you think if you found (5) was a really good friend of a sibling or relative of yours?

(Annabeth) OMG!! i would scream with happiness

20. How would you react if you saw (8) and (11) in a closet together with a rubber ducky?

(Hermione and Nellie) I'd give them a weird look and slam the closet door on them.

19. How would you feel if (2) dissed you in the worst possible way ever?

(Amy) I'd be sad.

22. You just came home from school and all of your friends hate you, your teacher just gave you an F on the most important project of the year (just imagine it happened for the smart alecks out there), and your parents have grounded you as your teacher had already called and told them of your grade. You open the door to your bedroom and you find (10) rummaging through your stuff. What do you do?

(Grace) I'd scream, "OMG you are so awesome. Quick! Make me a wolf!"

23. What would you think if (1) was emo and had tried to slit his/her wrists? If (1) is already emo/slit his/her wrists already, what would you think if (1) became the most optimistic person in the world?

(Emmet) He can't slit his wrists. He's indesructble.

24. What would you feel this second if (4) gave you a daisy right now?

(Dan) Say, eww and run away.

25. (6) has just stolen your hairbrush. What is the first thing you would say?

(Tom) Say, Ummmm... and just sit there in silence.

26. (7), (9), and (4) have banded together at 3 in the morning and starts to sing the most annoying song you know as loud as they can, waking you up. What is the first thing you think?

(Dan, Percy, Spongebob) No Freaking Way.

27. (2) and (11) are your teachers. What would you do?

(Amy and Nellie) They would just fight over who was right about what is more important, music or books.

Lady Gaga taught me its ok to be different.

Ke$ha taught me to be myself and not care what anyone else thinks.

Bruno Mars taught me to do anything for that one person I love.

Eminem taught me that life is hard but you can make it through.

Taylor Swift taught me not every guy is going to treat me right.

Michael Jackson taught me to always love the people around me.

Music taught me how to live.

BUT:

Most importantly, Rebecca Black taught me the days of the week.

IMPORTANT THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!

"You know you lived in 2010 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have a screen name or myspace.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.
11.) & now you're laughing at your stupidity.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did. I did.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost.

PLEASE READ.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

Try Not To Cry

Mommy... Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though, deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

Please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I had to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

If you believe that Kristen Stewart and Robert Patterson would make a terrible Max & Fang, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you like to read fanfiction more than you like to read books, copy and paste this on your profile.

If your addicted to your ipod, copy and paste this on your profile.

If your parents loves to embaress you, copy and paste this on your profile.

If your profile is waaaaaaayyyy too long, but you keep making it longer, copy this and put it on your profile.

If you have ever spent too much money at Barnes and Noble, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't do drugs and never will, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get too excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you feel the need to read through someone's profile even when you don't know them, copy and paste this into your profile

30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you are in the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and past this to your profile.

If you believe some teachers are seriously prejudiced, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever invented your own "copy and paste" thingy, copy and paste this into your profile. (Look at the first 6 ones)

If keyboards hate you, copy and paste this.

If you have ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this into your profile. Cats, dogs and goldfish count.

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this on your profile!

If you have ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. (The day can't be complete without me talking to myself... yeah, I'm weird)

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you support werewolf rights, copy & paste this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If 2 gooses are geese, then why aren't moose meese, or when 2 foots are feet, why aren't 2 footballs feetballs? Milk tastes funny if you leave it out for too long. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If your random and proud of it, put this on your profile!

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you were going to say it, put this on your profile. (I hate that when it happens!)

If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes or more, place this on your profile.

If you have ever tried to lick your elbow even though you knew it was physically impossible, paste this on your profile.

If you and/or your best friend are insane, put this on your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you could easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever eaten something none of your friends would try, copy/paste this in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever insulted someone so stupid that they didn't get the insult, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever ran into a door, copy this into your profile

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever walked into a wall before copy this. (who hasn't?)

If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever spent too much time of the computer, copy and paste this to your profile.

If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile. (Oh, yes.)

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. (Sometimes a whole day. That's why I read several grades higher than usual.)

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (I will soon if I keep stopping to look at something in the middle of the street!)

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or visa versa, copy this onto your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

If you have laughed so hard that you couldn't breath and ended up laughing silently while half crying due to lack of air, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing while reading a book and people look at you funny, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Is it EVER going to come out? I heard that they don't even have the cast yet!)

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you run into inanimate objects...and then blame them for it copy and paste this in your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile. (That so is impossible. I read like 20 in one month alone... I'm not bragging or anything. ;))

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever thought about something while you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are totally confused right now copy this onto your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do drugs and alchohol. If you like bagels, copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If FanFiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. (duh...)

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this onto your profile. (who hasn't?)

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism.

If you ever been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6 (hoo yeah), GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc.(:D), Ice wolf13, AlyxtheDarkWanderer, BellaSwan321, Bookworm614, MelRose520, Goldewritergirl

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who would rather someone ask them to marry them by taking out a Green Lantern Ring and saying, "I chose you, Pikachu", who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, XXForrestStarXX, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom, flyaway111, MyNameIsCAL, SareRide9, MelRose520 (most of it sounds like me, except for the 'Marry me, Pikachu' and people calling me a freak or weird behind my back. I mean, I don't think they do that... lets just hope not.)

93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?", copy this onto your profile then add your name to the list:Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A, Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A.,Evil Genus of the C.O.C.A., Invador Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, BellaBookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Spottedlilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.for.all.the.emo.boyz, I'll have some stupid Cliche, rainxface, maximumride24,FangsGirl24601, A Silenced Angel, UNDERLANDERfromtheOVERLAND, sunshine2006578, SareRide9, XXForrestStarXX, MelRose520

I believe in Jesus Christ the Lord as my savior and redeemer, and could not live without him in my life. If you do too, and aren't afraid to admit it, copy and paste this into your profile, and add your name to the list. Kakashis-First-Kiss, jedigal125, iloveJacobandJasper, Vampirewithasecret, Lacey-The-Invisible-Ninja, James018, AdorableElephant, MelRose520

To every girl out there who thinks they're not pretty (I was one of them): I'm not going to spew some crap about inner beauty, becuz, even though it's true, we all know that it's not what 99.9 of today's teenage girl population wants to hear. I can guarantee that everyone has someone who thinks they're beautiful, and everyone has someone out there for them. I know it's the truth. I mean, there are like, nine billion people on Earth. There's always someone out there! Sometimes it comes out of nowhere, and sometimes it was there all along. Everyone has something about them that would make someone like them, I assure you. And, hey, you don't have to believe me! But, let me tell you, life's a whole lot brighter when you do. Copy and Paste this onto your profile if you agree.

If you're a Demigod copy this into your profile and

sign yourname

Clarissa Jackson

Shorty/Kris

KG/Lizzy

Wisegirl101/Lindsay

WiseOne27

SeaweedBrain013/Sebz

CloudyAlore/Faye

XxxBeLLxXxGiRlxxX76/Bells

xXthe shadow huntressxX

annapercy1

Hula

The New Ace of Spies

7Cerberus7

Storyteller-221/Kali Lennor

AthenaPersephone14

Laserfire

JBaddict1234

SeaweedGirl1

HotChocolate in Summer/ImNotCrazyImMe

WiseGirl100210

MelRose520

Goldenwritergirl

Put this in your profile
if you love to laugh!

AND FINALLY... if you actually took the time to read all these, copy and paste this into your profile!

People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.

I had amnesia once--or twice. You know what? I don't really even remember.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is my ceiling?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

Don’t mess with me. I've got a stick.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!

I'm not afraid of death! What's it going to do? Kill me?

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. (That would be so gross...)

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them!

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

I used up all my sick days...so I called in dead.

Stressed is Desserts backwards :)

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

There's a light at the end of every tunnel...lets just hope it's not a train.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

I am in shape...round is a shape.

I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, and I laugh even harder.

Boys are like trees – they take fifty years to grow up.

Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.

Forecast for tonight: darkness.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the heck are you scared?!

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water!

Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.

Questions to Ponder...

Why can pizza get to your house faster then an ambulance?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

Where's the good in goodbye?

Why are they called apartments when they all stick together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Am I the only one who finds it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

When the guy first discovered milk...what do you think he was doing?

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it on your profile! :)

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool... and a lot of the songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits: I'm The Best by Nicki Minaj (Lol. That kinda fits)

Waking Up: Kiss Me Thru The Phone by Solja Boy Tell 'Em (No that doesn't work.)

First Day At School: Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf by B5 (Huh... Well... I don't really know.)

Falling In Love: Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz (Well that sucks.)

Fight Song: Forever by Chris Brown (I guess I'm not a fighter, I'm a lover.)

Breaking Up: Cat Daddy by Rej3ctz (Wait, what?)

Prom night: Bedrock by Young Money & Lloyd (EWWW, JUST EW. I'm not explaining it you've never heard the song.)

Life: Halo by Beyonce (I don't know either.)

Mental Breakdown: Duces by Chris Brown(That kinda fits.)

Driving: Imma Be by Black Eyed Peas (That's... different)

Flashback: Here I Come by Fergie ( Hey that's cool.)

Getting back together: Coming Home by Diddy Dirty Money and Skylar Grey (Kinda works?)

Wedding: How To Love by Lil Wayne (That's sweet.)

Birth of Child: Super Bass by Nicki Minaj ( No.)

Final Battle: Milky Milkshake by Smosh (Don't laugh. Just don't)

Funeral Song: Save Me by Nicki Minaj (Huh... The title fits.)

Final Credits: Grenade by Bruno Mars (That's cool.)

I know I just did something like this, but I love these ipod shuffle question things! They're so fun!

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag your friends who might enjoy doing the game as well as the person you got the note from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Soul Dance. (Just dance your soul out.)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
California Gurls (Yes they do explain me pesonality very well.)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL

Dirty Diana (Please don't take that the wrong way. That's just the song that came up..)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Single Ladies (Single and proud)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Stronger (To absorb what doesn't kill me and make myself stronger.)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Last Chance (I only give you two chances, then you die...)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
I'll be there (I'm always there for them.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
So far so great (I'm doing good!.)

WHAT IS 22?
Where is the love (Who cares about math? What we need is love, man.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Gift of a Friend (She's a gift.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Firetruck! (So hot, we need one of those!)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
So ambitious(I am very ambitious.)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Solo (Livin on meh own.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Not Afraid (I go up and talk to him.)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Two is better than one (Well that’s mean... I'm an only child.)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Here we go again (Appaerently this is not my first wedding.)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Hey there delilah (Well, crap.)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Party in the USA (Partyin.)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Evacuate the dance floor (Yeah, let’s just change the subject...)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Not your birthday (They forgot again?)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Thunder Rolls (Thunder is scary)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
DJ got us fallin in love (Aw.)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
The Time ( Um.)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Your Love (Huh?)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Who's that chick (Is what I asked my boyfriend.)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Moves like Jagger (IdK.)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Don't Forget (Forgetting stuff?)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
It's a hard knock life (I'll take that as a no.)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
My chick bad (I'll turn into a goody two shoes.)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Telephone (It hurts my ears.)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

Maybe (I might not even post this.)

Pepsi or Coke?: Coke!

Soda or Juice?: Soda. Duh!

7up or Sprite?: Sprite, I guess.

Yellow or Purple?: Purple. Yellow’s too yellow. :P

Blue or Green?: Green

Rock or Rap?: Rap is tight, yo.

TV or Movies?: That’s a hard decision.

Scary or Comedy: LOL comedy

Night or Morning?: Night’s more awesome.

Kisses or Hugs?: Ugh, neither.

Life or Death?: I’ll tell you when I die.

Up or Down?: Wait, what?

Noise or Silence?: Depends on what mood I’m in.

Run or Walk?: Walking doesn’t make my side hurt.

Burger King or McDonald's?: BK baby!

Apples or Bananas?: I like both….

Mexican or Italian Food?: What’s with all the questions?

Winter or Summer?: Winter!

Spring or Fall?: Spring’s when softball starts!

Chocolate or Candy?: Chocolate I guess.

Chicken or Beef?: BEEF.

Left or Right?: Right.

Doritos or Cheetos?: Cheetos

Cold or Hot?: Cold

Weird or Normal?: Normal’s too boring

Elmo or Ernie?: Elmo!

School or No School?: OMG IDK. :P

Meat or Fish?: Both...?

Long or Short Nails?: Long.

Hot Fudge or Caramel?: Hot Fudge

Halloween or Christmas?: What does it matter? I celebrate both anyways.

Pizza or Spaghetti?: Pasghetti!! thats how I say spaghetti!

Scream or Cry?: It’s more fun to SCREAM!

Camera or Digital Camera?: A digital camera, duh.

DVD or VHS?: DVD

Pickles or Cucumbers?: Cucumbers! :D

Love or Hate?: I don’t know.

Chocolate or Vanilla?: Vanilla is for the boring.

Latte or Espresso?: I don’t know the diference.

Outside or Inside?: Outside.

Evil or not Evil?: Most people think I'm nice... but they don't know. ;)

Clean or Dirty: Clean.

Bad or Good?: Depends...

Sunrise or Sunset?: Who cares? I don’t pay attention to either of them.

Truth or Lies?: The truth just gets you punished in the end……

Simple Plan or Good Charlotte: Great, you got me confused now.

Apples or Oranges?: Oranges!

Teacher or Student?: I’m my own teacher. XP

Rich or Poor?: Rich!

Sports or Reading?: But they're both my passion!

Cookies or Cake?: Cookies! WHERE?

Town or City?: Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world. She took the midnight train going anywhere... yeah, I don't know.

Birds or Horses?: Horses.

Cats or Dogs?: Doggies!

Monkeys or Penguins?: Penguins are sooooo cute!

Rain or Snow?: You can’t go snowmobiling in the rain.

Sun or Moon?: Moon

Smart or Dumb?: I would rather graduate college.

Cd's or Mp3 Players: Ipod?

Baked or Mashed Potatoes: Gah! IDK!

Motel or Hotel?: What's the difference?

Cars or Buses?: Cars are for people who don’t want to take rides with strangers. Cars.

Trains or Planes?: Planes are a whole lot faster.

Forks or Spoons?: I can’t eat steak with a spoon, and I can’t eat soup with a fork...

Family Guy or Simpson's?: The Simpson’s are better.

South Park or SpongeBob?: SpongeBob!

Money or Love?: Who cares about love? Give me the money!

Hamburgers or Hotdogs?: Both?

Nachos or French Fries?: Why can’t I ask my mom for both?

Blue or Green Eyes?: Too bad I have brown eyes. Wish I had green ones.

Blonde or Brunette?: Even my blonde friends say they have blonde moments sometimes...

Converses or Etnies?: Converse

Pen or Pencil?: You can’t erase a pen.

Beach or Pool?: Pool.

Dolphins or Whales?: Dolphins for sure.

Drums or Guitars?: DRUMS

Salt or Pepper?: They taste nice together. :)

Basketball or Football?: Basketball is my passion

Soccer or Baseball?: Baseball is more like softball.

Skittles or Starbursts?: Skit-skit-skittles

Finding Nemo or Shrek?: Nemo got boring after the first time. :P

Sausage or Bacon?: I’m a bacon person. ;)

Skateboard or Roller Blades?: BOTH

Ferris Wheel or Roller Coaster?: Roller coasters are for people who want speed. Count me in!

Wet or Dry?: Dry is for dry personalities.

Circus or Carnival?: Carnivals have more to do.

Bath or Shower: Showers are for people who like warm rain. Like me.

Walmart- things to do

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Run up to an employee while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some toliet paper!!"

6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.

9. While walking around the store, sing an annoying song in a loud voice.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this stuff, anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. Toilet paper as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!)

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

41. Two words: "Marco Polo."

42. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.

43. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

44. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.

45. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

46. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

47. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

48. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

49. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."

50. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

51. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

52. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

53. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

54. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

55. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."

56. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

57. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

58. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

59. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

60. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

61. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

62. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

63. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

64. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

65. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

A good or best friend!

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, idiot?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost

Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

Friend: Will help me learn to drive

Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away

Best Friend: Won't let me go away

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down

Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friend: Will bail me out of jail

Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up"

Friend: Will go to a concert with me

Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."

Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"

Friend: Asks me for my number

Best friend: Asks me for her number

Friend: Hides me from the cops

Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public

Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

Friends: Fade

Best Friends: Are 4 Ever (Stole this too)

Things I am not to do at Hogwarts

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

50) I will not attack my fellow classmates

51) I will not make an impossible riddle for people to give an answer to enter the Ravenclaw area

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE:

1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!
7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?
8. WORLD DOMINATION! And the dark side is sooo much better than the good side!
9.you get to wear a white lab coat (ooh la la)
10.you can access our stock of cool evil gadgets (aka a blender and toaster.)
11.you get to wear tall black shiny boots and a black shiny belt (NO SUSPENERS! WE'RE NOT FIREFIGHTERS OR PEOPLE WHOSE PANTS FALL DOWN!)
12.you get to wear creepy masks
13. key word: POWER you get lots of it
14.all of the black capes have cool inside pockets to hold my secret bunny collection. did i just say that out loud?
15.we get a vacation unlike the jedi's
16.we can do dangerous things like sky diving or eating chili or sunbathing(though it is hard to sunbathe when you are wearing black)
17.we get to order our minons around
18.when no one is looking, we have funny faces contests
19.we love to mix stuff in the blenders and dare each other to drink it
20.sometimes, we hijack the tv studios and make our own commercials
21.HOT BAD GUYS!!!
22.you get to act stupid any time and people are to afrade to lauph at you
23.the reason you joined

•silence is golden, duct tape is silver
•even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas
•when life gives you lemons, you squirt them in your enemies eyes
•I didn't hit you I simply high fived your face


Strangers stab you in the front, friends stab you in the back, boys stab you in the heart, and best friends poke each other with straws!


How I learned to mind my own business :
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, And all the patients were shouting, '13...13...13.'
The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a Little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see What was going on...
Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick!
Then they all started shouting '14...14...14'...

If aliens are looking for intellectual life... WHY THE HECK ARE WE SCARED!?

When life gives you lemons...

Make orange juice, and let the world wonder how you did it.

Throw them back at the jerk who gave 'em to ya and demand chocolate.

Alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

Eat them and spit the pips in Life's eyes.

PUNS AND JOKES

Did you hear about the man who had his whole left side cut off? He's all right now!

Q: A plane crashed yesterday and every single person died? Two people survived. How is this possible?

A: They were married

Q: Johnny's mother had four kids. The first was named May. The second was named April. The third was named June. What was the fourth named?

A: Johnny

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

SMART BLONDE JOKE

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks andNeeds to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.

What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Finally... a smart blonde joke.

My Mother...

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Wanna go for a ride little girl?

A little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school one day, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her.

After following along for a while, turns to her and asks, "Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?"

"NO!" says the little girl as she keeps on walking.

The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks, "Hey little girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back."

"NO!" says the little girl as she hurries down the street..

The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says,

“Okay kid, my last offer! I'll give you 20 Bucks and a big bag of candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we go for a ride."

Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and screams out...

"LOOK DAD. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO BOUGHT THE HONDA INSTEAD OF THE HARLEY, YOU RIDE IT!"

Fin

Stuipid Fears
Ablutophobia - The fear of taking showers Anablephobia - The fear of looking up
Anglophobia - The fear of England (well, with all the Cobra's...)
Aulophobia - The fear of flutes
Basophobia - The fear of walking
Cinophobia - The fear of going to bed
Geliophobia - The fear of laughter
Linonophobia - The fear of string (but string is fun!)
Omphalophobia - The fear of belly buttons (i wonder about this one...)
Scriptophobia - The fear of writing in public(how did u get through school?)
Sinistrophobia - The fear of left-handed people
Trichopathophobia - The fear of hair
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words(kinda ironic)
Panophobia- Fear of everything
Levophobia- Fear of objects to the left side of the body
Chromatophobia- Fear of colors
Kathisophobia- Fear of sitting down
Geliophobia- Fear of laughter
Eleutherophobia- Fear of freedom
Turophobia- Fear of cheese


Zen For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously

1. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
2. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
3. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
4. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
5. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
6. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
7. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...
8. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
9. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
10. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
11. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
12. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
13. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
14. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
15. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
16. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
17. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
18. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
19. I couldn't repair your brake, so I made your horn louder.
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
22. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
25. A day without sunshine is like night.
26. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
27. Getting lost in thought may put you in unfamiliar territory.
28. 42.7 of all statistics are made up on the spot.
29. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
30. You're diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
31. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
32. Remember that half the people you know are below average.
33. Despite the high cost of living, it's still extremely popular.
34. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
35.The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
36. Drive way too fast and you don't have to worry about cholesterol.
37. If you intend to live forever, so far, so good.
38. Borrow money only from pessimists; they don't expect it back.
39. Support bacteria; they're the only culture some people have.
40. If at first you don't succeed, destroy the evidence.
41. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
42. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
43. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
44. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
45. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
46. Success always occurs in private; failure, in full view.
47.The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
48.The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
49.To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
50.To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
51.You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
52.The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard (and not enough chlorine!)
53. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
54. If you think nobody cares try missing a couple of payments.
55. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
56. DNA = National Dyslexics Association. (thanks to "Riley" for the funny idea!)

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.

bananas are good for period pain.

it's good to cry.

chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

lying is actually unhealthy.

you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.(my mother has to jut out her chin because she foged up the mirror)

chocolate will make you feel better.

most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

a good friend never judges.

a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

boys aren't worth your tears.

we all love surprises.

Now... make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!

WISH WISH WISH WISH

Your wish has just been recieved.

Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...

Your wish will be granted.


Find a guy whos calls you beautiful instead of hot,

Who calls you back when you hang up on him,

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,

Who holds your hand in public and in front of his friends and family.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you.

Holdin Hands- Girls : If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times. Guys : Grab it if it happens more than once.

Cuddling- Girls : When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold. Guys : Automatically move closer to her.

Movies- Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder Guys : Lift her chin up and kiss her.

Loving each other- Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too... And mean it.

Laying below the stars- Girls : When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat Guys : Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers. Now make a wish about something you would like to happen Between you and your crush...

Guys repost this if you agree.

Girls repost this if you think this is cute.

WHY DO BOYS FALL IN LOVE WITH GIRLS??

So sweet, please don't break! :)

1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo.

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.

3. How cute they look when they sleep.

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms .

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.

6. How cute they are when they eat.

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth.

11. How cute they are when they argue.

12. The way her hand always finds yours.

13. The way they smile.

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight.

15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later...

16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.

17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you".

18. Actually...Just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt.

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it).

23. The way they say "I miss you".

24. The way you miss them.

25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore...

Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.

A feeling.

Only felt.

This chain started in 2002.

It is a love chain letter.

In an hour you are supposed to repost this.

Now here comes the fun part.

You then say the name of the person you like or love and then the person will say "I love you," or "Will you go out with me?" NO JOKE!!

NOW THE CONSEQUENCES!!

The consequences are:

If you break the chain letter, you will have bad luck in future relationships.

If you don't break the chain, then you will be a happy camper!!

Congratulations!!

You have been chosen to participate in the LONGEST and the LUCKIEST chain letter on the internet.

Once you read this letter, you must IMMEDIATELY (meaning within the hour) post it with the title "why do boys fall in love with girls?" After you send it, make a wish and it will come TRUE


WHAT A KISS MEANS

Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready" Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever" Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything" Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends" Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you" Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together" Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you" Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"

What the gesture means... Holding Hands = "we definitely love each other" Slap on the Butt = "That's mine" Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go" Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you" Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me" Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go" Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you" picking someone up off their feet = "that they love them fully and would do anything for them"

--Advice-- Dont ask for a kiss, take one If you were thinking about someone while reading this, you're definitely in Love.

--Requirements-- Post this again after reading!! Or you will have a bad year of Relationships.

If you LIKE, LOVE, OR MISS someone right now and can't get them out of your head then Re-post this within One Minute and Whoever you are missing will surprise you. Repost this as what a kiss means


What A Boyfriend Should Do:

When she walks away from you mad Follow her.

When she stares at your mouth Kiss her.

When she pushes you or hits you Grab her and don't let go.

When she starts cussing at you Kiss her and tell her you love her.

When she's quiet Ask her whats wrong.

When she ignores you Give her your attention.

When she pulls away Pull her back.

When you see her at her worst Tell her she's beautiful.

When you see her start crying Just hold her and don't say a word.

When you see her walking Sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

When she's scared Protect her.

When she lays her head on your shoulder Tilt her head up and kiss her.

When she steals your favorite hat Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.

When she teases you Tease her back and make her laugh.

When she doesn't answer for a long time reassure her that everything is okay.

When she looks at you with doubt Back yourself up.

When she says that she likes you she really does more than you could understand.

When she grabs at your hands Hold hers and play with her fingers.

When she bumps into you bump into her back and make her laugh.

When she tells you a secret keep it safe and untold.

When she looks at you in your eyes don't looks away until she does.

When she misses you she's hurting inside.

When you break her heart the pain never really goes away.

When she says its over she still wants you to be hers.

When she re-post this bulletin she wants you to read it

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

When she says she's OK don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will : Call you. Kiss you. Love you. Text you.

Guys post as: "I'd be this boyfriend." Girls post as: "A true boyfriend " or " what a boyfriend should do


REMEMBER WHEN .. getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?when )m 0 m( was your heroand 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblingsand rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?when - WAR- was a card gameand life was simple and care free?remember when all you wanted to doWAS GROW UP?

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now

A Dads Poem (this made me so sad)

Her hair was up in a pony tail,

her favorite dress tied with a bow.

Today was Daddy's Day at school,

and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,

that she probably should stay home.

Why the kids might not understand,

if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say.

What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone.

And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all.

About a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back,

for everyone to meet.

Children squirming impatiently,

anxious in their seats.

one by one the teacher called a student from the class.

To introduce their daddy,

as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,

every child turned to stare.

each of them was searching,

for a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?" she heard a boy call out.

"She probably doesn't have one," another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,

she heard a daddy say,

"Looks like another deadbeat dad,

too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her,

she smiled up at her Mom and looked back at her teacher,

who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back,

slowly she began to speak.

And out from the mouth of a child,

came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here,

because he lives so far away.

But I know he wishes he could be,

since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,

I wanted you to know.

All about my daddy,

and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories,

he taught me to ride my bike.

He surprised me with pink roses,

and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,

and ice cream in a cone.

And though you cannot see him.

I'm not standing here alone.

Cause my daddy's always with me,

even though we are apart,

I know because he told me,

he'll forever be in my heart"

With that,

her little hand reached up,

and lay across her chest.

Feeling her own heartbeat,

beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,

her mother stood in tears.

Proudly watching her daughter,

who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life.

Doing what was best for her,

doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,

staring straight into the crowd.

She finished with a voice so soft,

but its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much,

he's my shining star.

And if he could,

he'd be here,

but heaven's just too far.

You see,

he was a fireman,

and died just this past year when airplanes hit the towers and taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,

it's like he never went away."

And then she closed her eyes,

and saw him there that day.

And to her mother’s amazement,

she witnessed with surprise.

A room full of daddies and children,

all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,

who knows what they felt inside.

Perhaps for merely a second,

they saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy,"

to the silence she called out.

And what happened next made believers,

of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,

for each of their eyes had been closed.

But there on the desk beside her,

was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed,

if only for a moment,

by the love of her shining star.

And given the gift of believing,

that heaven is never too far.

‘They’ say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Send this to the people you'll never forget and remember to send it also to the person that sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them. If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in a hurry and that you've forgotten your friends.


I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you


Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.


1) I NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5)

2) THE ANSWER IS (L0OK AT #11)

3) D0NT GET MAD (L0OK AT #15)

4) CALM DOWN DONT BE TICKED OFF ( L0OK AT #13

5) FIRST (L0OK AT #2)

6) D0NT BE THAT MAD (L0OK AT #12)

7) I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI...LOL

8 ) WHAT I WANTED TO TELL YOU IS...(THE ANSWER IS ON #14)

9) BE PATIENT (L0OK AT #4)

10) THIS IS THE LAST TIME IMMA DO THIS (L0OK AT #7)

11) IM NOT MAD WHEN IM SAYIN THIS (L0OK AT#6)

12) S0RRY (L0OK AT #8 )

13) D0NT BE GETTIN ALL HYPE (L0OK AT #10)

14) I D0NT KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS (L0OK AT #3)

15) YOU MUST BE REALLY TICKED OFF (L0OK AT NUMBER #9)

(Put it on your page if you laughed)


this is hilarious)

Man: Girl, you must be a thief because you stole my heart. Woman: Hun, I only steal valuable things

Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: So... Your a girl huh? Woman: No, no i'm not

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together


Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down. I bet you can't resist passing it on when you're done


My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen. They're also the kind that would spend hours upon hours trying to drown a goldfish... but they know i love them

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door

When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there" type of thing, more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us" type of thing

If at first you don't succeed skydiving isn't for you

Follow your dreams. Except for that one where you're naked at work...

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

I'm here because heaven wouldn't take me and hell was afraid i'd take over.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

"They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people."

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive

A best friend is the type of person who can see you with the biggest smile on your face.. and still know something's wrong.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow

"I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for."

"It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird"

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat.

'I'll protect my friends because I know they're worth protecting.'

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball makes a big hole in paper.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

"He who laughs last didn't get it. He who laughs first has the most perverted mind."

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read in school about the wars that solved America's problems?

When life gives you lemons, throw them at people you don't like. When life gives you people you don't like, push them off bridges.

Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Did you just call me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, and dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment.

No one was perfect...well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

I ran with scissors, and lived!

There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

The worst time to have a heart attack is when you’re playing charades. No one will believe you.

Tu madre! Yes, you just got burned in Spanish. Would you like some ice for that Spanish burn?

Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun!

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on.

If I throw a stick, will you go away?

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda"

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

Some people are alive today simply because it is illegal to kill them.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence... because of something that happened yesterday.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Your mom looks like Voldemort (oooooh burn)

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Two men walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.

RAWR! I ate my eraser! -cough-

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

They call it PMS because "Mad cow disease" was already taken.

Beware! For my place of employment has given me a NEW weapon...THE BUBBLE WRAP!

"The world is out to get me. Hide me in your closet and cover me with clothes. Don't let it find me."

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world


Regular lions say ROAARR.

Angry lions say BLARGAROARIMMAEATYOU

Sad lions say roooaaar.

Mountain lions say: OMGEDWARDCULLENRUN!

"A day without sunshine is like...you know...night"

"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to"

Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor


Needing someone is like needing a parachute: if they're not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in choclate.

Be tolerant of the human race. Your family belongs to it, and some day you might, too.

95 percent of all teens would go into a panic if the Jonas Brothers (Or Miley Cyrus/ Justin Beiber...) were on a 100 foot building about to jump. copy and paste this if you are one of the 5 percent who brought popcorn and invited friends while yelling "JUMP JUMP JUMP"

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror - I bet that's what really throws you into a panic.

I try to take my days one at a time, but sometimes several days attack me all at once. Usually when I'm eating french fries or peanuts or something else they like.

My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states

What do you do if you're riding a giraffe and getting chased by a lion? Answer: get your butt off the merry-go-round and whatever else you happen to be on

If the world were a stage, I'd want to be the one operating the trap door.

I'm the type of girl who can watch a hundred horror movies and never get scared, but who will scream at the top of her lungs when toast pops out of the toaster.

Never, ever, ever try to make a grilled cheese in the toaster.

I'm going to live forever or die trying.

When life gives you lemons, you'd better wait for some sugar first or you'll have some really nasty-tasting lemonade

Don't take life too seriously - none of us are going to get out alive, anyways.

Every time someone hands me a brouchure it's like 'hey, mind throwing this away for me?'


Hey guess what! You have reached my stories!LoL That took a little bit but here you go!!


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Double Dates by eb70792 reviews
Jasper and Bella are enduring their boring summer break, but things start to turn far more interesting when the two of them go on a double date with Jasper's dream girl and her older brother. It's a summer full of parties, romance, and mishaps. HUMAN
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 87,771 - Reviews: 199 - Favs: 247 - Follows: 274 - Updated: 1/27 - Published: 9/28/2010 - Bella, Emmett
Dear Fanfiction by MajorGodComplex reviews
The demigods write letters to the Fanfiction world to let us know exactly what they think of us. This should be interesting.:: Each chapter is a new note.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 208 - Words: 18,944 - Reviews: 3449 - Favs: 448 - Follows: 378 - Updated: 12/12/2014 - Published: 9/29/2011 - Annabeth C., Nico A., Percy J., Jason G.
The OHC by The Obsidian Angel reviews
A darker more corrupt Ouran High. The same characters. Plus drugs, sex, alcohol, scandal, and pairings galore. Who can stay clean amongst the chaos? NEW CHAPTER: Tamaki and Kyouya meet up to talk out their issues, but actions speak louder than words. Especially where Mommy and Daddy are concerned.
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 220,308 - Reviews: 441 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 274 - Updated: 11/16/2014 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Haruhi F., Tamaki S., Kyōya O.
Short by Selestyna Arpa364 reviews
Kotone comes to Ouran and meets a certain Host who is just her size! HunnyxOC Rated T for sailor's mouth, some vulgarity and other shenannigans.
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 117,052 - Reviews: 525 - Favs: 511 - Follows: 455 - Updated: 8/8/2014 - Published: 8/10/2010 - Hunny/Honey/Mitsukuni H.
83 Ways to Annoy the Dursleys by DaydreamingSlytherin reviews
Beep, beep, beep. For reasons unknown, a young witch named Vivi is staying with the Durselys for the summer. She has a list of way to annoy them. I dont own the list of ways. Actually 85 ways. On temporary hiatus.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 90 - Words: 65,661 - Reviews: 534 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 10/14/2013 - Published: 6/24/2010 - Dudley D., OC
Absolute Ouran by Artemis Day reviews
It's not often you get a package in the mail that's as big as you are. Less often would you get more than one, and NEVER would you find six human males inside. Unless of course you're Haruhi Fujioka. Based on the shojo manga, Absolute Boyfriend.
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 28 - Words: 89,913 - Reviews: 212 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 190 - Updated: 9/13/2013 - Published: 2/19/2011 - Haruhi F.
Talent Show by ThePagesFlyBy reviews
As requested, continuation of Karaoke With the Cullens. On Hiatus
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,338 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/3/2013 - Published: 3/11/2011
The Little Princess by Mei-chan4 reviews
“Why is her name Tsuku?” Tamaki asked curiously, peering at the still sleeping baby. Haruhi suppressed a laugh. “She has a tendency to hit or attack anything that she doesn’t like.”
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 41 - Words: 68,190 - Reviews: 806 - Favs: 488 - Follows: 394 - Updated: 4/11/2013 - Published: 8/6/2008
The Elegant Orchid by Mei-chan4 reviews
At a young age, Lan lost her mother and father. Now, she travels the world with her cousin Zuko and grandfather Iroh as they search for the elusive Avatar. Will she be able to help Zuko complete his mission or will she merely cause chaos and mayhem?
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 39 - Words: 86,456 - Reviews: 362 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 184 - Updated: 2/8/2013 - Published: 9/18/2009
Twilight Bad Girls' Club by BackboneBella reviews
This is my first story and it is Twilight in the Bad Girls Club Bella, Angela, Rosalie, Alice, Lauren, Jessica, and Tanya are in one house together for two months. What crazy things will happen? Who will get kicked off? Will love bloom? AH AU OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9,791 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 1/14/2013 - Published: 9/20/2010 - Bella, Edward
Ouran Host Competitors by Wrath lover reviews
When some new people decide to start a Host Club of their own, chaos starts. Some people fall in love, but both Host Club's are trying to stay on top, or face the consequences. Which is the better Host Club? What will happen? Implied yaoi/yuri/incest.
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 15,842 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/4/2012 - Published: 7/7/2011 - Tamaki S., Hunny/Honey/Mitsukuni H.
Glory by Pendemonium reviews
Andy Val attends Ouran while training for the world cup which is to be held in Japan. What happens when she ends up getting tangled into a devious web of the Host Club's very own Shadow King? KyoxOC Rated M for language.
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 65 - Words: 151,101 - Reviews: 340 - Favs: 213 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 10/17/2012 - Published: 7/29/2011 - Kyōya O. - Complete
Haruhi Meets the Host Cafe by Roselia Lucia reviews
Haruhi suddenly stumbles into a club called the Host Cafe. There, she meets eight boys who are different in culture and attitude. But will these eight boys bring the Host Club to loose it's visitors or join forces with the cafe?
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 37 - Words: 27,489 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 9/14/2012 - Published: 10/11/2011 - Haruhi F.
Crash by Tokoloshe Monster reviews
Max has a best friend; a person that she knows online. He's funny, caring, kind and sweet – unlike the ridiculously hot jerk at her school that won't leave her alone. But maybe the two boys have more in common than she thinks... Fax. AU, but not AH. Complete.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 83,176 - Reviews: 1427 - Favs: 573 - Follows: 460 - Updated: 8/17/2012 - Published: 7/1/2011 - Max, Fang - Complete
Abluvion by akerri.dogi reviews
With the war going poorly, Dumbledore sends Harry off to Ohio, America to play the role of muggle student Blaine Anderson. Life is great as Blaine transfers to McKinley High. Until Voldemort finds him, that is. Harry/Kurt, Klaine.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Glee - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 44,472 - Reviews: 303 - Favs: 387 - Follows: 721 - Updated: 6/12/2012 - Published: 8/5/2011 - Harry P., Kurt H.
100 things the Cullen Parents aren't allowed to do by citygirl09 reviews
Esme and Carlisle have embarrassed the kids long enough and they are dealing with it their way. In court. But in this court emmett's the judge. All vampires set after BD R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,339 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 3/24/2012 - Published: 5/22/2010 - Emmett - Complete
Camp Sami by GoodGirlGoneFANG reviews
Max is sent off to Camp Sami-sadly.She decides to cheat on boy-friend Sam with camper Fang to be on the edge...but what happens when Sam shows up? She hides her fling from Sam to keep the peace-and makes Fang watch as she fakes it with Sam. AU/AH FAX
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 29,609 - Reviews: 307 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 3/10/2012 - Published: 8/22/2011 - Max, Fang
Kon'nichiwa eh! by ouran4eva reviews
Three canadian exchange students get accepted into Ouran on music scholarships. They find a place to practice but unfortunatley for them it's the third music room. There, the hosts stumble onto the girls playing. What will happen! Read and find out!
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 49 - Words: 99,012 - Reviews: 385 - Favs: 148 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 2/20/2012 - Published: 12/18/2010 - Kyōya O.
Reading the Sword Thief by CelestialMacabre reviews
Dan, Amy, Nellie, Ian, Saladin, Natalie, Vikram and Isabel, Alistair, Jonah Wizard, and Hamilton Holt are suddenly transported to a magical room. Takes place at the end of the Emperor's Code . A book appears, as well as a letter. They must read to leave
39 Clues - Rated: T - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 17 - Words: 44,395 - Reviews: 399 - Favs: 162 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 1/27/2012 - Published: 5/15/2010
100 Ways To Order Pizza, Cullen Style by The 5th Alice reviews
What would happen of the Cullens try 100 ways to order pizza? Alice and Bella gain a pet unicorn, Esme spaces out constantly, Jasper meditates, and Alice's fashion sense is outrageous!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 25 - Words: 8,733 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 1/8/2012 - Published: 6/19/2011 - Complete
Emails: Emmett Cullen to Carlisle Cullen by YoursTruly101 reviews
"Eye of the Tiger." Requested sequel to Emails: Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen...oh goodness Emmett! What have we told you about matches? And how could you ever harm Gingersnap?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,122 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 1/3/2012 - Published: 8/9/2011 - Carlisle, Emmett
In the Same Candlelight by Like A Dove reviews
In a world where there is no war, Zuko and Katara spend their summers together. Growing up is messy, embarrassing, and at times sad, but they think it might be okay because they have each other. Edited summary.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 76,747 - Reviews: 1414 - Favs: 1,269 - Follows: 448 - Updated: 1/2/2012 - Published: 5/21/2011 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
Rich Kids, Zodiacs, and Hosts Oh My! by minnieluvbug12 reviews
"YOU WANNA GO?" Kyo fumed at his relative and pointed to an empty music room, "A DOOR IS OVER THERE!" "I get strange electric waves from in there." Hana's eyes moved side to side skimming the large double door, "People are inside." Tohru twisted the knob.
Crossover - Fruits Basket & Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 16 - Words: 22,410 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 12/19/2011 - Published: 7/5/2011 - Tohru H., Tamaki S. - Complete
Emmett by Clumzy.Person reviews
Emmett will be Emmett. We all know that. But what happens when Bella fights back? Why is Emmett's Jeep pink? And is that Bella singing? Rated T for content. Cannon Couples. Now Complete! Sequel 'This is War'
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 5,847 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 11/20/2011 - Published: 6/30/2011 - Emmett, Bella - Complete
Rebound by And Thus- I Fangirled reviews
"Please... please stop it. I can't take it, Kyo. If you hate me, hate me. But don't do this to me." Because being hated would at least be second best to being loved. It was the world's worst romance. YukixKyo.
Fruits Basket - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,893 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/19/2011 - Yuki S., Kyo S. - Complete
Confessions of Amy Cahill by Kisses are Stupid reviews
Amy wasn't clumsy enough to drop her shoe, or stupid enough to leave it behind. She happened to throw it at the cocky jerk, or more commonly known as Prince Charming... yet Amy isn't so keen on coming back, because there's another admirer waiting for her.
39 Clues - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 14,671 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 11/4/2011 - Published: 9/9/2011 - Amy C., Ian K.
Our's by My.Dark.Fantasy16 reviews
After their parents death, Rin Hayashi has been the emtionless but caring type. Why is she posing as a guy? The Hitachiin's gotten more mischievous? Wait Mori what? "Hikaru..Kaoru..you guys are idiots.." hikaruxocxkaoru
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 33,653 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 11/3/2011 - Published: 3/27/2011 - Hikaru H., Kaoru H. - Complete
To prove a point by DustyJJ reviews
Bella is pregnant with the child of player Edward Cullens, she keeps it, thinking her boyfriend would stick by her. Heart is broken when different girls is seen with Edward. Enter new girl who's into girls. Will Bella turn to the comfort of the same sex?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 10/31/2011 - Published: 7/31/2011 - Bella, Edward
Kareoke With The Cullens by ThePagesFlyBy reviews
The title kind of explains it. They all go to a party and have to sing. As you all should know I'm obsessed with country so most of the songs will be country. If you dont like it, just dont read it. It's that simple. Reviews are welcome!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 11,714 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 10/13/2011 - Published: 11/22/2007 - Complete
Set Them Up, Knock Them Down by The-Girl-With-The-Black-Wings reviews
Max is the great cheerleader. It's her passion. She wants to go pro. What happens when she moves across the United States? What happens when one fateful night makes her quite cheerleading cold turkey? What happens when she meet's the rest of the group?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 15 - Words: 18,189 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 10/4/2011 - Published: 9/3/2011 - Max
Truth or Dare, The Cullen Way by Bookworm and Goldi-Sox reviews
Emmett is bored one Sunday afternoon, so he calls the whole family together, to play Truth or Dare! Post Breaking Dawn
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,972 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/22/2011 - Published: 8/9/2011 - Emmett
The Many Deaths of Edward Cullen by Chesty's Superbest Friend reviews
My brother always said that Twilight would be better if Stephanie Meyer had killed off Edward. Would it? Would it really be better? So I have had it arranged that Edward should die in any way possible. Funny ways, stupid ways, gross ways...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 20 - Words: 12,972 - Reviews: 198 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 9/8/2011 - Published: 11/4/2009 - Edward
Note Passing by ForeverXxXYours reviews
this is a fun little NoteFic that I made up. Constructive critisism welcome!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 1,328 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 9/3/2011 - Published: 7/5/2011 - Emmett, Jasper
Oh Alice by AlicePokerFaceCullen reviews
Alice and her family go through everyday life. Pranks, and violence included. This all proves... never mess with Alice! Very short stories. Not even a page long. Every chapter is a story.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,307 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/23/2011 - Published: 8/1/2011 - Alice
101 Alternative Edwards by curlyhairedcrazygirl reviews
Say it. Out Loud. Say it!" "Vampire"... but what if Edward wasn't a vampire. what if he was a VEGAN, a NUDE, or even FAT? Here are 101 alternative Edwards. Twilight as you've never seen it before...
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 5,028 - Reviews: 261 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 8/13/2011 - Published: 6/9/2009 - Edward, Bella
The cullens go to petsmart by Saphire Van Rose reviews
The cullens are convinced to go on an outing...
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 175 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/8/2011 - Edward, Emmett
Twilight Problems by KATtheVampireBunny reviews
A new generation of vampires have been born and their goal is to bug the absolute crud out of the Cullen's! But could they have a dark secret that not even them self's know about? COMEDY!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 19,917 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/5/2011 - Published: 1/7/2010
Nudge the Vampire: How Edward Cullen Died by KaylaAnonymous reviews
I want to, like, suck your blood, and like, be your ever loving girlfriend, like, right now! Nudge's immortal words ring in our ears forevermore, reminding us of that fateful day when Nudge came to the inescapable conclusion of vampirism. Comedy
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,185 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/8/2011 - Published: 7/7/2011 - Nudge, Edward - Complete
Truth or Dare? by KaylaAnonymous reviews
The flock plays truth or dare and some things get intense, Figgy, Faxness, and possibly other messed up pairs, there is going to be more then one chater but I don't have to to write one write now, Enjoy!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,830 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 3/18/2011 - Published: 1/11/2011
My little book of Translyrics by BigMouth12349 reviews
Trans-lyrics, for those of you who don't know, are translations of a song that have been changed slightly so they can be sung in different languages- english, in this case. NO REQUESTS UNTIL I GET CAUGHT UP, read AN on Chap.1 for info on using my lyrics.
Vocaloid - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 42 - Words: 22,664 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 12/21/2010 - Published: 9/10/2010
Amazing Cliches by rainbowstrike reviews
This parodies the many over-used fanfiction topics that I've seen around here. Stupid, random, & OOC in a good way :D. Hopefully I can give you a good laugh. Rated T because I dunno what will pop out of my mind at times. Chapter 35; A/N Chapter of doom
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 31,205 - Reviews: 856 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 12/19/2010 - Published: 7/10/2009
A Man With a Not So Smart Plan by Chesty's Superbest Friend reviews
Certainly Percy wouldn't be stupid enough to use pick-up lines, right? Right. Right? Oh dear...
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 812 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 9 - Published: 4/12/2010 - Annabeth C., Percy J. - Complete
Backwards Day by The Obsidian Angel reviews
Haruhi enters the Host Club one day to discover that everyone seems a bit... backwards. Why is Hunny eating vegetables? Why won't Mori shut up? And when did Tamaki's heart go from bleeding to stone cold?
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,449 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/10/2010 - Haruhi F. - Complete
The Ouran Host Club comes to Forks! by KATtheVampireBunny reviews
what would happen if the Ouran Host Club came to Forks and joined in at Edward and Bellas school? Tamaki asks Edward to join and Haruhi becomes best friends with Bella. And how will Forks react to TWINCEST!
Crossover - Twilight & Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,324 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 11/10/2009 - Published: 6/11/2009
Emmett In A Box by Miss Book reviews
What would happen if you put Emmett in a big box that he couldn't get out of? Written by -Miss Book-, and LivLifeForever. It's kind of out there.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,144 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 11/10/2009 - Published: 3/28/2009 - Emmett
Total takes over by rainbowstrike reviews
When Fang leaves his laptop out, Total decides that it's his time to shine. He hacks Fang's blog and begins to write about things the flock would probably not want the world to know... This is a present to my 'The Lists' readers! R & R
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,273 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 9/18/2009 - Published: 7/15/2009 - Total, Fang
Smile by ThePagesFlyBy reviews
All Human. Edward and Bella at the library. Formerly called library. Sequel, Falling at her Feet, is now the second chapter. Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 924 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/7/2009 - Published: 1/31/2009 - Complete
A Guide To Original Characters by dnrl reviews
A quick look at the creation of good, solid, OCs. Includes tips on how to avoid Mary Sues and Gary Stus. Information about self-inserts and what exactly is wrong with them.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,787 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 18 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Ransom reviews
Riku had been avoiding those rich snobs for a whole year now, but when a mysterious cult leader begins to threaten the wealthy folk of Japan, she has no choice but to help. After all, The Raven always aids the needy. But a certain someone comes along and sees right through her tough exterior and gives her some... tingly feelings. Kyouya x OC. Contains violence and guns
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,946 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/3/2013 - Published: 1/3/2013 - Kyōya O.
I Wish I Knew You reviews
Ian is the most popular kid in school. Amy is a nobody. But in they both wish they knew each other and have a secret longing that they don't know they have yet. The clue hunt never happened and they don't know each other.
39 Clues - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,040 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 9/29/2011 - Published: 9/4/2011 - Amy C., Ian K.
Just the Way You Are reviews
Edward wants to express his love for Bella. It's cute and sweet. Edward loves Bella, Just the Way She Is.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 681 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/6/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
My Life As Emmett reviews
A hilarious story about Emmett's new job and his life with Rosalie. After breaking Dawn. What is Emmett's new job you ask? well you'll have to read it and find out! It's worth it! Rated T just in case.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,267 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 9/2/2011 - Published: 8/9/2011 - Emmett, Rosalie