Author has written 11 stories for Harry Potter, Avengers, Doctor Who, Twilight, and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D..
Hey! I hope you read and love these stories as much as I love writing them! Feel free to comment and critique... no really.
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
How to Tell if You're a Writer
-If you talk to yourself
Top Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriage Is Wrong:
1) Being gay is not natural. Real America has always reject unnatural things like glasses, plastic surgery, and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed!
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans
Please repost this if you are for gay marriage.
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books.I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
They say "guns don't kill people; people kill people", but I think guns help. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you would kill too many people.
She's my best friend. Break her heart and I'll break your face.
I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago.
Real friends don't let you do stupid things... alone.
It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
Don't count the days, make the days count
Yeah, the grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow
Be thankful for what you have, because it's probably more than most
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
I'm not crazy, you're just more sane than I am
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
Stressed is Desserts backwards :)
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
Where's the good in goodbye?
We all smile in the same language
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why we call it the present!
Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? (Yep!)
I am in shape...round is a shape
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and be quiet
Our health teacher told us that "1 out of 3 people who start smoking will eventually die." The other two apparently became immortal.
Intelligence has limits, stupidity deosn't.
Smile...it confuses people!
If it wasn't for electricity, we would all be watching TV by candle light.
A balanced diet is a piece of chocolate in each hand
He who laughs last thinks slowest
We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid
A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
There is nothing wrong with any religion, race, sexual orientation, or gender. If you believe in tolerance towards all people.
If you ever pushed on a door that said "Pull". If you ever tripped over your own feet.
If you love rain.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps themselves.
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will hand you a Kleenex and ask you “Who do I have to kill?”
A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.
A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run, bitch, run!"
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
A good friend convinces you not to jump off the cliff. A best friend hugs you "Goodbye, I'll miss you. Can I have your
Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is.
Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’.
Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever.
Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hoqwarts has seen in a while.
Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her.
Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’.
Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy.
Draco Malfoy … disagrees.
Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand.
Ron Weasley … is very afraid.
Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much.
Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat.
Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out.
George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry.
Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter.
James Potter … doesn’t believe her.
Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’.
Sirius Black … killed by drapery.
Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences.
Bellatrix Black … is 'quietly' going insane.
Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush.
Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’.
Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence.
Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.
Slytherins … will push someone else off.
Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.
Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.
I saw this on my friends profile and I had to have it...
The Stupidest Things Written
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)
On a Myer hairdryer:"Do not use while sleeping."(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Wow. That's really helpful)
On a child's superman costume:"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Aw, that's the whole purpose of buying the costume!)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat."(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how??)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion).
On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning: keep out of children". (hmm..something must have been lost in translation...)
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside". (The shoplifter special!)
"What's going on here?"
"Um, nothing. Nothing, she's just a friend."
"I think he was talking about the possible alien invasion. " - Dr. Who 6.1.
BTWS. If you love to read my stories, please know that my mind is random, and often I will start stories that I don't finish. If you like the story review and tell me! Thanks!
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