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Joined 08-06-11, id: 3137494, Profile Updated: 08-26-12
Author has written 12 stories for South Park.

Hello, I am a big fan of South Park (as you can see by my username) and will write nothing but South Park FanFics! I am only thirteen and I am confident that you will find no errors in my stories, if you do, please inform me and I will correct my mistake. I like to frequently work on one-shots to entertain mah fans :D


If you are also wondering; Yes, I do Role Play.

I also teach people how to RP, but if you just want to know how to RP and not RP with me (which I am perfectly fine with), then here is a quick explanation!

You know how people go -high fives you- or *gives you a hug* ? Well, that's basically half of RPing!

What other part about RPing is that you pretend that you are actually the character!

Let's say I want to RP that I'm Spongebob, then I think of him as myself! That I have a best friend named Patrick Star, I live in a pineapple in Bikini Bottom, and I work at the Krusty Krab!

Hopefully, you get it by now, if you don't, then you're a complete idiot.

Like my Facebook page for updates and such!!!

And if you want, send me a friend request!!/fluffeh.aguirre

Basic Info

Name: Elizabeth

Nick Name: Ashley

Eye Color: Dark Brown

Hair Color: Dark Brown with dark red peakaboo (look it up)

Piercings: None. Not even on my ears.

Tattoos: None.

Boyfriend/Girlfriend: No.

Vehicle: My legs.

Overused Phrase: "I'm not fat! I'm fluffy"


Food: Mexican Food :)

Pub/Disc/Restaurant: Huh?

Candy: Sour Patch Watermelon, Starburst, Airheads

Number: 8

Color: Dark Sky Blue, Purple

Animal: Not sure.

Drink: Dr. Pepper

Body Part on Opposite sex: Uh... this sounds sooo wrong. Maybe eyes. they say that the eyes are the window to the soul.


Music Album: Um... I listen to songs, not albums.

Movie: Grown-Ups, Hey Hey It's Esther Blueburger, Elf, Spork

This or That Pepsi or Coke: IDK. Dr. Pepper.

McDonalds or Burger King: McDonald's

Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate

Hot Chocolate or Coffee: Decaf Coffee

Dog or Cat: Both

Rap or Punk: Neither.

Summer or Winter: Winter, even though I've never seen snow, but I LOVE Christmas time!

Scary Movies or Funny Movies: Comedies only. I HATE scary movies.

Love or Money: Uh... pass.


Bedtime: Why do you need to know anyway?!

Most Missed Memory: When my brother lived with us.

Best phyiscal feature: I love looking into other people's eyes. Unfortunatly, my eyes are shit brown.

First Thought Waking Up: Either COMPUTER, FRIENDS, or MUSIC.

Best Friends: Jillisa! And Emma, Bree, Lanai, Paige... that's it. :( I can't even see them in person!!!

Fears: Vomiting, bugs, scary movies.


Cheated Your Partner: Hell no!

Ever been beaten up: No.

Ever beaten someone up: Yes. It was in kindergarden. Or was it preschool? I'm not kidding. At all.

Ever Shoplifted: Does eating candy in the store count?

Ever Skinny Dipped: No.

Ever Kissed Opposite sex: Nope. Kissed a girl! ;D

Been Dumped Lately: Nope!


Favorite Eye Color: In order, Silver, Hazel/Yellow/Gold, Green, Blue.

Favorite Hair Color: All.

Short or Long: Hair? In a dude, I'm hoping short.

Height: Taller then me, which I doubt I would find anywhere, 'cause I'm taller than any guy in my school. And girl. And teacher... yeah...

Style: Not sure

Hot or Cute: Depends, which is gonna come first?

Muscular or Really Skinny: Fit, but not steroid-type muscles.


Favorite Eye Color: In order, Silver, Hazel/Yellow/Gold, Green, Blue.

Favorite Hair Color: All. But mostly red or black.

Short or Long: Hair? Long to medium.

Height: Shorter than me.

Style: Girly girl

Hot or Cute: Cute!

Muscular or Really Skinny: Curvy


What country do you want to visit?: None, they'll reject me anyway.

How do you want to die?: In my sleep. Painlessly

Been to the mall lately?: Yes, but I don't get to go very often.

Get along with your Parents: Most times

Health Freak: For sure! And yet, I'm chubby XD

Do you think your Attractive: Honestly? No. Not the slightest bit.

Believe in Yourself: Uh, yeah?

Want to go to College: Yes.

Do you Smoke: I'm 13! No.

Do you Drink: Again, I'M 13!

Shower Daily: Every other day.

Been in Love: No, again, I'm only 13.

Do you Sing: YES!! I thought you'd NEVER ask! I'm in the school choir and play! I sing beautifully...

Want to get Married: Skip.

Do you want children: No way. Little kids are just little annoying fuckers. They're always crying and shitting themselves. One word, disgusting. And they ALWAYS get in you're way. Like, let's say you're walking, and you magically trip, then BAM, your parents have to pay their medical bill for a broken leg. Pisses me off.

Hate anyone: Yes. Two bitches that go to my school. Grr...

That's pretty much the basics. If you want to know more about me, just keep reading. Thanks!

"My favorite color is yellow? You know why?"
"Oh, God, not this again..."
"Because it's the exact same color as a banana! And you know what a banana looks like?"
" *sigh* "
"It looks just like... a cucumber! And you know what a cucumber looks like? It looks just... like... a zucchini! And you know what a zucchini looks li--?"

Have You Ever?

[ ] been in an airplane

[ ] been in a relationship

[ ] been in a car accident

[X] been in a fist fight (Guess who won? ME!! I knocked them out :D GIRL POWER!)

[X] been in love with someone

[X] had your heart broken

[ ] went over the minutes/texts on your cell phone

[X] had someone question my sexual orientation

[X] done something you regret

[x] done something illegal (I ripped a dollar bill in half... does that count?...)

[x] broken a promise

[x] hid a secret

[x] pretended to be happy

[x] met someone who changed your life

[x] pretended to be sick

[ ] left the country

[x] tried something you normally wouldn't and liked it

[x] cried over the silliest thing

[ ] gone to the beach with your best friend

[x] got into an argument with your friends

[x] hated someone

[x] stayed single for 2 years

[ ] snuck out of a house

[ ] held a gun/knife for self defense

[ ] killed somebody

[x] broken someone's heart

[ ] cried when someone you didn't even know personally died

First ever South Park show! Made when Trey and Matt were in collage!!!

Another one!

List 10 random South Park characters in random order:

1. Kyle
2. Cartman
3. Stan
4. Craig
5. Tweek
6. Clyde
7. Kenny
8. Wendy
9. Heidi
10. Butters

1) 4 invites 3 and 8 to dinner at their house. What happens?

Wendy: Um, you never even talk to me. Why are you inviting me to your house?

Stan: Yeah, and, I thought you didn't like me.

Craig: ... *flips them off*

Wendy: You really need to stop flipping people off.

Craig: ... *flips them off again*

Stan: *pinches the bridge of his nose* *grabs Wendy's wrist and leaves Craig's house* C'mon, Wendy, we're going to Clyde's. At least they have tacos.

2) 9 tries to get 5 to go to a yoga class. What happens?

Heidi: C'mon, Tweek, you need to relax! *drags Tweek across the floor*

Tweek: Ah! I can't do it, man! It's way to much pressure! Gah!

3) You need to stay at a friend’s house for the night. Do you choose 1 or 6?

Me: Clyde or Kyle? Hmm, KYLE! Come here, Jew boy! *Runs up to Kyle and hugs him*

Kyle: *slightly hugs back while blushing furiously*

4) 2 and 7 are making out. 10 walks in...Their reaction?

Butters: ... Eric... why are you making out with Kenny?...

Cartman: *Blushing madly* Um, I- uh... BUTTERS, GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!

Butters: Oh, alrighty then. *walks out of the room*

Cartman goes back to making out with Kenny*

Me: (O_O)

5) 3 falls in love with 6. 8 is jealous. What happens?

Wendy: *Totally pissed off* STAN!!!

Stan: What?

Wendy: Your in love?! With CLYDE?!?!

Stan: Yeah... so?

Wendy: "So?" SO?"?! You're just randomly gay and in love with Clyde and all you can say is, "So?"?!?!

Clyde: Bitch, just step away from my man!

Wendy: Bitch, don't call me 'Bitch', I'll pop your f*ckin' head open!

Clyde: Oh, yeah?! I'd like to see you try, ya skanky ho!

Wendy: *gasps* Oh, it is ON!!! *tackles Clyde*

Wendy and Clyde start a cat fight*

Stan: *while pinching the bridge of his nose* You guys, not again...

Me: (O_O)

Clyde: Wha'choo lookin' at, biotch?!

Me: *walks away slowly*

Clyde: Yeah, that's right! You better walk away, bitch!

6) 4 mugs you in a dark alleyway. Who comes to your rescue? 10, 2 or 7?

Me: Craig... please stop...

Craig: No.

Me: Well, can I at least say something first?

Craig: What?

Me: KENNY! HELP!!!! ( 7 )

Kenny runs from across the bar he just arrived at and beats up Craig*

Me: My hero!

Kenny: Well, would you like a kiss from your hero?

Me: ... Nah.


7) 1 decides to start a cooking show. 15 minutes later what is happening?

Me: Kyle, why is your kitchen a TOTAL mess?

Kyle: I tried to start a cooking show...

Me: Again?

Kyle: Yeah...

Me: I'll get the mop...

Um... what happened to 8 and 9? lolz

10) 3 has to marry either 8, 4 or 9. Who do they chose?

Stan: DEFINITELY not Craig. Not Heidi either.

Heidi: Hey!

Stan: *Ingnoring Heidi* So... Come here, Wendy!

Wendy: Yay! *Runs and hugs Stan*

Me: How ironic!

Stan & Wendy: What?

Me: Nothin'...

11) 7 kidnaps 2 and demands something from 5 for 2's release. What is it?

Kenny: Okay, Fatass. I want Tweek's coffee.

Cartman: Why?

Kenny: I don't know, I'm just bored...

12) You get to meet either 1 or 6. Who do you chose?

Me: Once again, come here, Jew boy!!!

Tackles Kyle*

13) 10 challenges 4 to a chariot race. Why?

Butters: Craig, I challenge you to a chariot race!

Craig: Why?

Butters: Because... um, uh... I'm... hardcore like...that? *Trying to do gangsta moves but falls*

Craig: No. *Walks away*

14) Everyone gangs up on 3. What happens?

Stan: *Petrified* Uh, w-why are you g-guys ganging up on m-me?

Everyone ad-libs 'I don't know's and etc.*

15) Everyone is invited to 2 and 10 wedding except for 8. How do they react?

Stan: WHAT?!? Cartman's getting MARRIED?? With BUTTERS?!

Wendy: Whatever! I don't even WANT to see Eric getting married!

Me: (O_O)

Kyle: Uh, Ashley? Are you okay?

Me: *passes out*

Kyle: Aw! See, Cartman? Look what you did to her! *turns to passed out me while shaking me* C'mon! Get up!

Cartman: Ugh, this is gonna be a long ass day...

16) Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Me: Haha. Very funny.

Clyde: What? I'm not afraid of Kenny!

Kenny: Oh, really? 'Cause you will be once I POUND YOUR TEETH IN!

Clyde: AAHHHHHH!!!!! *Runs away*

17) 10 gathers everyone around to tell them a fairy tale. How does it go?

Butters: Well, once upon a time, there lived a beautiful princess who lived in a magical cas--

Cartman: Butters, just shut the hell up.

Butters: Oh, alrighty then...

18) 1 arrives late for 2 and 10's wedding. What happens? And why are they late?

Cartman: Kahl! Why are you late, you stupid Jew assh*le?!

Kyle: Well, because I woke up really late, and I just wanted to screw up your wedding for you.

Cartman: I swear, Kahl, one night when you go to sleep, you won't ever wake up.

Kyle: Okay.

Cartman: *His face red with rage* Well, I- um. Just to- uh.. I'm gonna-- uh, um... F*CK YOU!

Kyle: *Sarcastically* Your gonna f*ck me? But I thought you were marrying Butters.

Cartman: GAH!

Kyle: Careful, wouldn't want to rip your tux open on your big day, now, *Fixes Cartman's bow tie, would we?

Cartman: KAHL, I'M GONNA--

Kyle: Ah, ah, ah! *Pushing his finger against Cartman's lips to shut him up* Just be quiet. Now run along and get married.

Cartman: *Stomping away with his face sweating and blushed red*

Kyle: *Talking to him self* Ugh, I don't understand what Butters sees in that Fatass...


Kyle: Nothin'

19) 5 and 9 get roaring drunk and end up at your house. What happens?

Me: Tweek? Heidi? What the hell are you guys doing here?!

Tweek: Gah! Ashley! Well, I was going-- and then I--

Heidi: UGH! Tweek! Stop screaming! My head is pounding! *To me* It's a long story...

Me: Well, you better hope that the walk to your guys' houses aren't a long way from here! GET OUT!

20) 3, 8, 6, and 4 all go to the zoo for 8's birthday party. How does it go? What presents do they get 8?

Wendy: What are you guys doing here? I didn't even invite you! What the hell am I talking about... It's not even my birthday today!

21) Everyone gets together and starts protesting something outside of your house. What are they protesting? What do you do?

Me: What the hell are you guys doing?

Stan: We're protesting!

Me: Against what?

Cartman: How the hell should I know?! I don't even want to be some stupid goddamn hippe!

22) 9 murders 2’s best friend. What does 2 do to get back at them?

Cartman: Heidi, you... you killed Kenny. *turns toward Heidi* You... bastard... You sick, twisted... bastard...

Heidi: *Now scared realizing what she's done* W-what are you g-gonna do?

Cartman: Nothin'. He'll be back tomorrow.

23) 6 and 1 are in mortal danger. Only one of them can survive. Does 6 save themselves or 1?

Kyle: Clyde, SAVE ME!!!

Clyde: ... Nah.

24) 5 is trapped in a cave. 10 comes to rescue them. What happens?

Tweek: Ah! Is someone here?

Butters: Don't worry, Tweek. It's just me, Butters.

Tweek: Gah! Okay, just get me outta here! I can't handle the pressure, man! This is way too much pressure!!! Gah!

Butters: Tweek?

Tweek: Yeah?

Butters: You're right in front of me.

Tweek: And?

Butters: And I'm standing outside of the cave.

Tweek: ... Let's forget that this ever happened.

Butters: Good call.

25) 3 starts a day camp. What happens?

Stan: What the hell is a day camp???

26) 4, 6, and 7 are doing the Hokey-Pokey. 8 walks in. What happens?

Craig, Clyde, and Kenny doing the Hokey-Pokey*

Wendy: *walks in* (O_O)

Kenny: Um...

Wendy: *walks back out*

Kenny: Alright, gang, let's take it from the top again!

27) 1 starts to write a story where 9 and 10 are going out. What is 2's reaction?

Me: What the hell is this question even supposed to mean?

28) 7 makes an apple pie. Is it any good?

Me: *while eating apple pie* Wow, Kenny, this is REALLY good!

Kenny: Thanks.

Me: Just one question, though.

Kenny: What is it?

Me: How did you make this with the right ingredients if your family is so poor?

Kenny: Oh, I didn't make it, I just stole it out of the garbage from next door. *Kenny's face turns white realizing that he wasn't supposed to say that*

Me: (O_O) ... *Spits food all over Kenny*

Kenny: Thanks for ruining my last pair of clothes with your garbage apple pie spit!!!

Me: You're welcome! (.)

Kenny: ... Just get out.

Me: But--

Kenny: GET OUT!

Me: Okay, okay! Geez! *While walking out talking to myself* Someone's on their period...


Me: Nothin'

29) 8 and 5 goes camping in the woods. For some reason they forget to bring any food. What do they do?

Tweek: Aw, man! Now this is way too much pressure! Gah!

Wendy: Tweek, calm down! Let's just go look for some help.

30) While they are camping, they run into 4. What do they do?

Tweek & Wendy: Craig?

Craig: What?

Wendy: Why are you here?

Craig:... It's none of your buisness why I'm here!

Part 2 coming soon!

And now lets see how many stupid things I've done!! (Bold is what I actually did!)

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair (You know, it's funny when it happens to somebody else, but when it happens to you...yeah...)
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye (So painful..)
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class.
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth

eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI




(first 4 letters of real name izzle.)


(fav color and fav animal)

Blue Guinea Pig

(your middle name and the street you live on) (lol, this is hard cuz i have 2 middle names!)

Irma Yowy

(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)

Agueli (lol)

(Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite flavor of gum)

Purple Spearmint

(2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of you dad's middle name, 1st letter of a sibling's first name, last letter of your mom's middle name)

Luryvje (wtf?)

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's middle name):


(Black and the name of one of your pets)

Black Rocky


I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN,so I MUST be white trash
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
IWEAR BLACK,so IMUST be agoth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST have a "big one".
I'm PRETTY,so IMUST not be avirgin.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be f*cking them all.
Ihave big BOOBS,so IMUST be ahoe
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi
I (would love to) hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I MUST be violent.
I'ma FEMALE GAMER,soI MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so IMUST love fried chicken and koolaid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I MUST do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I MUST only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I MUST be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED soI MUST be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm (kinda) OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK,so IMUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
Idon't like the SUN, soI MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
Icouldn't hurta FLY,soI MUST bea pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't
Idon't like to be ina BIG GROUP,soI MUST be antisocial.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
Iread Comics,soI MUST bea loser
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I MUST be homosexual.
Idraw ANIME, soI MUST bea freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
IWATCH PORN soI MUST be perverted
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I MUST be a HOMOPHOBE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love SLASH, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG, so I MUST be stupid.
I'm AUSTRAILIAN, so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life, so I MUST be having problems.
I like FIRE so I MUST be an arsonist.
I'm a CUTTER so I MUST want to commit SUICIDE.
I have been to THERAPY so I MUST be crazy.
I have been ABUSED, so I MUST be an abuser.
I watch SOUTH PARK, so I MUST cuss and not care about it.
I watch FAMILY GUY, so I MUST make senseless jokes all of the time.

I have CRUSHES on CARTOON CHARACTERS, so I MUST be ugly and have no life.

Have fun!


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

One Wish by SomeSouthParkFan reviews
Wendy wanted nothing more than to be a mom. But when her husband Stan is mysteriously turned into a four year old, she has to decide if she wants to find out how to change him back or leave him that way and raise him as her son.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,191 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/16/2015 - Published: 10/1/2010 - Wendy Testaburger, Stan M.
The Great Battle For Stan by Hamster Fan reviews
When Wendy dumps Stan, Kyle takes the opportunity to try and be with him. But when Wendy finds out, she tries to get Stan back. So the battle is on. Who will win? Has STYLE and STENDY. Contains the ending of YOUR preference!
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,054 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 5/20/2015 - Published: 6/10/2011 - Kyle B., Stan M., Wendy Testaburger - Complete
Senior year isn't pretty by xSapphireRainsx reviews
Finally Senior Year is here, but what if it hasn't cracked out to be what they thought it would? Drama, lust, and all around fucked up days. You know, Senior Year is not pretty; at all.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 49,690 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 7/29/2012 - Published: 11/28/2011
Listen Up by Sleepingkit reviews
Tweek is pissed, he'll tell you why. Rated T for language.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 803 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Published: 6/22/2012 - Tweek T. - Complete
If I Die Young by Wedjat reviews
While at a school dance, Kenny hears a song that he finds to be particularly offensive. ONE SHOT though this might change .
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 761 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/3/2012 - Kenny M. - Complete
Cleaning the World by Annanova reviews
Stan develops a drinking problem to deal with his cynicism. Kyle attempts to save him when the bottom of a whiskey bottle isn't enough to help Stan run away from his problems. T for suicide mentions, character death and abuse.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,360 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/16/2011 - Published: 10/21/2011 - Kyle B., Stan M.
Dress Up by lilykinz200 reviews
English Class. It's a place where we learn to read and write, right? Or is it a place where we dress in drag and learn to flirt? Either way, it's interesting. Oneshot based on a true story.
South Park - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 967 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/8/2011 - Complete
Breakfast by Confiscated Retina reviews
Having become accustomed to strange, mostly terrible foodstuffs for breakfast, it took Kenny by complete surprise the day Kyle Broflovski slipped an apple into his hand while they boarded the bus. One shot.
South Park - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,287 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 18 - Published: 11/15/2011 - Kenny M., Kyle B. - Complete
My Pretty Feet by Madam RedRose25 reviews
Sharon and Stan spend a mother/son day together at the mall just as the height of the metro-sexual fad booms. However, Sharon is unprepared for the things her son is drawn to. Set before South Park is Gay.
South Park - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,085 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 12 - Published: 10/22/2011 - Sharon M., Stan M. - Complete
Saving Stan by Craig-DiMaggio reviews
Wendy kidnaps Stan and the boys must save him
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,039 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/21/2011 - Published: 10/18/2011 - Stan M.
Silicate by the sweetest sugar reviews
Welcome to Silicate. You have three weeks to get out alive. Be careful. Not everthing is as it seems. Good luck. You'll need it. The Juniors of South Park High are thrown into a cruel and twisted game. Only the strongest survive. Accepting OCs!
South Park - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 881 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 12 - Published: 10/16/2011
Wer Bin Ich by siren'soldies-almostall reviews
What he saw made his blood freeze. He couldn't move, he was frozen in horror. His underlings were starting to flock around him, but he didn't notice. All he could do was stare. Kyman Romantic and friendship. Character development.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,616 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 10/11/2011 - Published: 9/23/2011 - Eric Cartman, Kyle B. - Complete
My Best Friend by ThatEnglishRoseisnotonfire reviews
Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. Style Friendship
South Park - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 849 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 9/25/2011 - Kyle B., Stan M. - Complete
Pumped up kicks by LuvKyleAndStan reviews
A 15 year old Butters is constantly bullied and humiliated. Then one night he finds something in his daddy's box of fun things. What happens when he takes it to school the next day? Rated for violence and language. ONESHOT
South Park - Rated: T - English - Angst/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,522 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/24/2011 - Butters S., Bebe S. - Complete
At Midnight by Raining Skittles reviews
'Kyle turned around, a genuine smile playing on his lips as a tear trickled down his cheek. "Happy Anniversary, Stan."' Major character death. Style
South Park - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,861 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/3/2011 - Kyle B., Stan M. - Complete
Castaway by melancholyperson299 reviews
Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Wendy, Tweek, Butters, Craig, and Bebe are stranded on an island after a storm on a cruise ship. They must learn to get along together if they want to survive, but is that possible? There might be some pairings later.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,012 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/2/2011 - Published: 8/28/2011
Welcome by wildcannabis reviews
The baby's coming, and Wendy is refusing pain meds! Oneshot.
South Park - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,261 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/10/2011 - Eric Cartman, Wendy Testaburger - Complete
A Special Connection by Phantom Nini reviews
Cartman has a special connection that Kyle never knew about.
South Park - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 949 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/30/2011 - Kyle B., Eric Cartman - Complete
Freckles by whitemokona234 reviews
Watching porn will give you ideas, I guess... Stan like Kyle's freckles. He likes them a lot. What happens when he wants to see even more freckles? Read on and find out!
South Park - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,134 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 19 - Published: 4/8/2011 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
This is Your Life by Madam RedRose25 reviews
One night, Stan falls asleep with what seems like a normal headache. The next morning he wakes to find his room completely different, and apparently, his life. Kyle's not his friend, Cartman is nice... what happened to Stan's old life?
South Park - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 28,495 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 8/16/2010 - Published: 7/9/2010 - Stan M. - Complete
Because Dude, he's my Best Friend by Madam RedRose25 reviews
On the way to school, Stan has a severe asthma attack. Cartman refuses to help. What can Kyle do to save his best friend in time?
South Park - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,645 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 11 - Published: 2/14/2010 - Kyle B., Stan M. - Complete
My life was a lie by LuvKyleAndStan reviews
Kyle had always seemed so normal to his friends. But was his life really as easy behind closed doors? No Slash. Sorry for the Crappy description.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 8,885 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 11/25/2009 - Published: 3/29/2009 - Kyle B., Ike B. - Complete
Lil' Super Heroes by Hamster Fan reviews
After an accident at the toxic waste factory. The four boys gain super powers. They then decide to protect their home town, but will they all stay heroes? Contains NO slash. Please read and review. Harsh flames will be ignored. COMPLETE.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,806 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 10/23/2009 - Published: 5/24/2009 - Complete
Bleed It Out by LuvKyleAndStan reviews
After a heated argument with Stan, Kyle does something drastic. Oneshot. No slash.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 391 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/1/2009 - Kyle B., Stan M. - Complete
Stan's Horrible Gift by Hamster Fan reviews
After an accident Stan realizes that he is suddenly able to predict bad things happening to people in the near future. What happens when he suddenly predicts the tragic death of his best friend? No slash just strong friendship.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,826 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 1/25/2009 - Published: 10/15/2008 - Kyle B., Stan M. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Going Down to South Park reviews
With school just around the corner and nothing new around, there's no excitment for the teenagers of South Park. Well, things are about to change. When a pair of interesting twins come to South Park, hilarity is sure to ensue. The whole junior year - along with your OCs - is just trying to figure out one thing: who are they? *Accepting OCs*
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,574 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 10 - Published: 8/19/2012
SPAS reviews
Welcome to SPAS! That is, South Park Academy for Superheros! An academy where you will learn to train your powers and use them for good! But if you come here, you better be careful not to be burned... or frozen... or zapped... or killed... Looking for a cover photo as well!
South Park - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,819 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 6/8/2012 - Published: 5/19/2012
The South Park Christmas Contest! reviews
The time has come for the winner! Here it is, the final chapter!
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 27,858 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/24/2011 - Published: 11/29/2011 - Complete
Mistletoe Match Makings reviews
Kenny couldn't miss the chance. He just HAD to do it. For The Red Rose OF Kyle Broflovski's Under the Mistletoe Contest! Rating cause it's South Park
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,149 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/22/2011 - Kenny M. - Complete
Summer in South Park reviews
Ashley Lovbrofski is back and ready for more! But this time, her two cousins are coming into town for the first time! Will their summer in a mountain town be what they expected, or more? Full of comedy, drama, and love! Rated T because it's South Park.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,984 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/9/2011 - Published: 11/13/2011
The South Park Halloween Contest! reviews
Reday for the winner? Well, here it is! The REAL winner will be revealed... NOW!
South Park - Rated: T - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,177 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/31/2011 - Published: 10/27/2011 - Complete
Kyle's Abuse Poem reviews
Kyle's short poem about how he got abused.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Family/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 197 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/24/2011 - Kyle B., Ike B. - Complete
Bang Bang reviews
My first Songfic. Sucky summary, very dramatic. Please read? 3njoy : Also Crime/Romance/Drama
South Park - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 583 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/24/2011 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
Just Take Off the Hat, Ashley Lovbrofski! reviews
Hundreds of you asked for it and here it is! Ashley Lovbrofski is back for more! Sequal to The Smart-Off! Oneshot. I suggest you read The Smart-Off if you want to read this, it just makes things easier :
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,318 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/17/2011 - Kyle B. - Complete
The Smart Off reviews
A new girl comes to town, and she's the new smartest student in South Park Middle School! Kyle and the new girl have a go at it to see who's the smartest! BTW, they are in the 7th grade! T for cursing. OC Plz read even if u dont lyk OC's, I tink its funny
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,371 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/3/2011 - Kyle B. - Complete
The Cyberbully reviews
When Kyle finds out about a new chatroom, Kyle's excited to find a new friend, but he quickly learns that he's Kyle's worst nightmare. Can Kyle find out who the bully is and stop them before it's too late? Contains some slash. Also Romance/Drama
South Park - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Mystery - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,908 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/28/2011 - Published: 8/18/2011 - Kyle B.
Kyle's Birthday Dinner reviews
It's Kyle's birthday! And Stan takes him to a resturant to celebrate! Until something goes horribly wrong... No slash, one-shot, story is WAYYYYY better that summary. My first one-shot!
South Park - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,685 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/24/2011 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
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