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Joined 08-08-11, id: 3142756, Profile Updated: 09-29-12
Author has written 8 stories for Twilight.

About Me: I'm just a teen girl, but I am so far from being average. I love to write stories and during the day, I'll have all these little stories running through my mind, and then forget half of it later. I don't update much, but I'll try for my readers, if I don't then review on one of my stories and I will.

Protect our children their innocence is amazing and reminds us that there is good in this world. They have an amazing mind and are able to make you forget everything that is bothering you and they have the abilty to erase the evil in this world, they have the power to stop men that are going to commit a crime just because we want to protect them. So remember just because there young doesn't mean they aren't capable.

Some awesome stuff (completely useless, though!)

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.

Perfection is a waste of time.

Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science:'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work? Liberal Arts:'Do you want fries with that?

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

I blame my attitude on video games

There is stupid coming out of your mouth hole again

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face

Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit

Tired of living and scared of dying

Scared to remember, terrified to forget

I hear your silence loud and clear

Children in front seats can lead to accidents. Accidents in back seats can lead to children.

Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?

How can i miss you if you never left?

I'm not with stupid anymore!

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends (and boyfriend!)

Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable

Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.

Boys are like knives, useful but they'll cut you eventually. (cough, cough Edward cough, cough)

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

A lot of people think that just because you're the youngest that you can't do much. But actually the youngest is the most superior of them all.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person,"What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Lola, Heather, Chris, Delilah, Edward, Diana, Brandon, Ivan, Andrea. Hannah,

Peace, Love, and the Cullens.

If you think that you'll remember something, then most likely you won't.


We mean we spent four years of our life for a handshake and a piece of paper

Put your big boots on and get over it

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while deeply loving someone gives you courage.

You know you're a Tuckerman High Bulldog when

:you spend all your live savings on spirit links

:you bleed red and white

:if losing is never an option

Benefits of being a woman
Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

Comebacks to crappy pickup lines!-(Hilarious)

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Emmett's the strongest,

Edward's the fastest,

But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people laugh.

shit happens.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile

Bella: Your pale white and ice-cold, i know what you are
Edward: Say it... Out loud...SAY IT!

Bella: Vanilla Ice-cream ...

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

Fun Things To Do On An Elevator. (:

1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"

2) When the elevator doors shut, reassuringly say, "It's OK, they will open up again!"

3)Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

4) Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.

5) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

6) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.

7) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

8) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

9) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

10) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

11) Meow occasionally.

12) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

13) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

14) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

15) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

16) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

17) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"

18) Say "Ding!" at each floor.

19) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

20) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

21) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

22) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

23) Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?"

16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance to the Prophecy".
7.Don't use any punctuation.
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Specify that your drive thru order is "To Go"
10. Sing Along at the Opera
11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON I WON!!"
14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
15. Tell your children over diner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It's called therapy.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away... if well-aimed.

Paper may beat rock, but cannonball make big hole in paper.

One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons.

One day your prince will come. Mine? He took a wrong turn, got lost, and was to stubborn to ask for directions.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep.

WARNING: Do not follow in my footsteps. I tend to walk into walls and off cliffs.

It's funny--the people who want quiet are always the loudest getting people to shut up.

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you're just not laughing.

I used up all my sick days at work so I'm calling in dead.

Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home.

I promise to remember Bella

Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward

Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws

For Charlies sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle

Whenever I am in the emergency room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Everytime there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rose

Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice

When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie

When I see that beautiful bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my stomach isn't curled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Twilighters know

I'll stαч up tιll TШILIGHT
To sєє thє NΣW MOON
And ιf I'm luckч
I'll sєє thє ΣCLIPSΣ
And thє wholє tιmє
I'm sιttιng with чou

You talk to yourself a lot.
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someones liver?')
After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
You tend to collect Bic Sticks off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:

Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"

Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.

Clap when the good guy gets killed.

During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"

Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"

Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.

Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.

Yell out what is going to happen.

Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.

Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.

Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.

Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.

Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.

Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.

Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.

Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)

Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.

Try to start a wave.

Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.

Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.

Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"

Sing with the theme music.

Bring and use your own air freshener.

At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."

Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.

Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.

Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.

Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"

Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.

Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.

Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.

When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"

Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.

Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"

Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.

Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.

Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"

Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.

Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.

Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.

Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.

Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.

Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.

Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"

Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"

Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"

Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer's name is going to be said.

Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.

Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.

Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.

Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending.

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!

I'm weird and really random, my teachers have just gotten used to it by now. But if your going to write about Twilight you have to wierd and random.

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The Long Road Home: The Journey of Alice & Jasper by J. Anne Brown reviews
This is the story of the long journeys Alice & Jasper take on the way to meeting each other and eventually the Cullens.Historically accurate, in canon, APOV & JPOV.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 218,973 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 154 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 12/18/2011 - Published: 8/14/2009 - Alice, Jasper
Truth or Dare: The Cullen Way by JerinAnn reviews
Emmett gets bored and decides to make everyone play truth or dare... well the Cullen way. Everyone has to do dares or tell truths that they are not comfortable with. Read and you will see. *Sequel is up.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,216 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 10/10/2011 - Published: 8/13/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Truth Or Dare by bleedingblackrosez reviews
what happens when Bella and the Cullens play truth or dare? chaos! my 1st fanfics ever, please PLEASE review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,118 - Reviews: 452 - Favs: 355 - Follows: 312 - Updated: 9/27/2007 - Published: 8/31/2007
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Wife Swap with the Cullens reviews
Jasper and Bella sign the Cullens up for Wife Swap. The Cullens and the Simmons go on Wife Swap on the first ever Christmas edition. The swap is from December 11 to December 24. The moms return on Christmas Day.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9,630 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 2/3/2013 - Published: 12/22/2011 - Jasper, Bella
Family Stories reviews
Ness asks Jasper to tell her a story about his life before he was changed.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,062 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/29/2012 - Jasper, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Broken Promises reviews
Jasper is thinking back on the last time he saw his sister Ginny.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 943 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/29/2012 - Jasper - Complete
Nuttin for Christmas
A song fic on the song Nuttin for Christmas by Sugarland
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 356 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/22/2011 - Carlisle - Complete
Never Have I Ever: Pool Edition reviews
The Cullens and Quileutes are in the pool and play Never Have I Ever
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,626 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 11/22/2011 - Published: 10/23/2011 - Alice, Edward - Complete
Dancing with Cinderella reviews
When Carlilse hears the song Cinderella by Steven Chapmen, he remembers some of the times he had with his baby girl Alice
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,158 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/18/2011 - Carlisle, Alice - Complete
Paint Balloons and Angry Teachers reviews
What does paint balloons and angry teachers have to do with the equation, when Esme gets called to the office.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,196 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/12/2011 - Esme - Complete
God Gave Me You reviews
Renesmee wants to hear a bedtime story from Alice about times Jasper and her had.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 802 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8/11/2011 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Alice - Complete