excessivelyperky
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Joined 12-23-02, id: 314420, Profile Updated: 11-14-12
Author has written 9 stories for Final Fantasy I-VI, Harry Potter, and Beauty and the Beast.

Profile:

My day job is at a large manufacturing firm, though I’m currently working in the viny window part. I’m actually a writer who has written three original universe novels and have 37 more to go (I know them by title, at least, if not by complete outline). I’ve been married for 39 years, have two children (one sells 80’s cartoons on his web site, the other is working on becoming a movie star in sunny Hollywood). My husband is a chemistry teacher (I gave him a Snape doll for his lab). My professional sales include “Shut-In” in Renunciates of Darkover, “Galley Slave” in Man/Kzin Wars VIII, and “Esprit de Corpse” in the upcoming anthology Getting Even: Women’s Revenge on Men (released in Great Britain, editor Mitzi Szereto, in October of 2007). I have several other stories in circulation.

However, I would like to mention"

DEAD MAN’S HAND, an epic fantasy about ghosts, sailing, and love, now on sale. Who is the ghost—Tonio Vitor or Ravin Gambrell?

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009CJEMK4

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/dead-mans-hand-jean-lamb/1113436720

www.tumblr.com/excessivelyperky - first three chapters for free

Obviously, I’m a Snape fanatic. I tend to end up adopting characters who are Sadly Neglected by their original creator (I must wash off the fence posts, someone’s leaving signs on it). I can be found on LJ under the name excessiveperky (no room for the ‘ly’ unfortunately). I enjoy building original worlds as well. I read a great deal in many genres. I recently inhaled a book on the air raid over Schweinfurt by Martin Caidin, and followed that with a paranormal romance by Nora Roberts. ‘Wide tastes’ doesn’t begin to cover it. I also collect large format cartoon books, like Foxtrot, Doonesbury, Zits, Calvin and Hobbes, The Far Side, and Dilbert. As you can see, I’m old enough that I was taught to underline book titles rather than italicize them. My tastes in music are equally ecletic; my ipod contains songs from Marlene Dietrich, ZZ Top and Reel Big Fish, with a heavy emphasis on 80’s dance (Power Supply, Madonna, the real Thompson Twins, Duran Duran, Miami Sound Machine, and so on). As for dance—I am strictly an amateur, but I tend to choreograph anything I hear. Some songs would choreograph well for zero gravity or on the moon, while others would be excellent for those on a broom. For instance, imagine Draco Malfoy flying to “It’s a Kind of Magic”, while Harry Potter was born to zip through the air to “Danger Zone”. Sound = music = motion = choreography.

As you can see, I normally write in the Harry Potter universe, but I do work in others on various occasions. I am constantly plagued/honored by herds of plot bunnies, and if anyone should happen to send me a Time-Turner, I would definitely appreciate it.

In the near future, I will be starting a newsletter on writing. Yes, there will be some Blatant Self Promotion, but the rest will include various hints (like, how to choose a beta, how to drown your sorrows after a rejection slip, that kind of thing). On occasions I will include short fiction that you’ll get to see before anyone else does. I will archive all issues on a website that I will set up Real Soon Now. I will also welcome participation. I mean, if you should happen to know that a certain magazine is looking for a certain kind of story, do feel free to mention it. The emphasis will be on original universe writing; I have seen a lot of fanfiction writing, and frankly, a lot of it is better than what’s being published. Creating an original universe isn’t that hard. Parts of it can be tedious, but setting up a marriage system designed to torture the hero is just plain clean fun. Please contact me at tlambs1138@charter.net if you’re interesting in being part of all this.

I also have a worldbuilding site at www.freewebs.com/excessivelyperky , and a Regency Romance text game at www.gameoflove1.com (it is not a choose your own adventure story, because that is a trademarked phrase. However, readers might note a certain similarity in design).

A final promise: it may be quite some time before I write Widow’s Walk, but I won’t forget it, ever. Snape’s story is by no means over, and I do have some rather nice surprises for everyone (along with the usual angst etc.). The final chapter of “The Birthday Present” is finally up—but I’m definitely not done.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

FALLING FURTHER IN by kaz2 reviews
Hermione begins to learn something of the man behind the dark sarcasms of the classroom.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 253,590 - Reviews: 2001 - Favs: 1,840 - Follows: 730 - Updated: 3/24/2013 - Published: 1/5/2002 - Severus S., Hermione G.
Come Once Again and Love Me by laventadorn reviews
Severus wakes up in the afterlife expecting something rather different than being almost-seventeen again. Seriously, what kind of game is this? But wait - Lily's come back, too - from 1981? Perhaps it's a second chance... but to do what? SS/LE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 25 - Words: 188,760 - Reviews: 470 - Favs: 478 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 1/26/2012 - Published: 12/24/2011 - Severus S., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Snape's Solution by Very Small Prophet reviews
Snape takes Harry on his first Horcrux hunt, and shows him how to contaminate a potion. AU Half-Blood Prince. Plenty of snark, absolutely no affection of any kind. Inspired by Loten's "Chasing the Sun".
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,337 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/5/2012 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Lily fixes a mistake by severusphoenix reviews
JK said that, given a second chance, Severus would pick Lily. I'm giving Lily a second chance to pick Severus, instead. AU, of course. Some deaths, too.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 79 - Words: 183,204 - Reviews: 1101 - Favs: 896 - Follows: 599 - Updated: 9/24/2011 - Published: 10/16/2008 - Severus S., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Blue Blue Blue Blue Christmas by Your Worshipfulness reviews
Roxanne Ritchi is unexpectedly Megamind's guest for Christmas Eve. Tis the season of miracles... My shot at making a funny, tasteful, and deliciously smutty Christmas story. M for a reason, folks.
Megamind - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,831 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/29/2011 - Megamind, Roxanne R. - Complete
Harry and His New Family by grugster reviews
Harry is getting abused by his relatives. When Snape and his wife find out about it, they adopt him. So now he has two little twin brothers and caring family to cope with. AU!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 85 - Words: 215,191 - Reviews: 3296 - Favs: 1,177 - Follows: 764 - Updated: 8/9/2010 - Published: 12/17/2008 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
I Am Not A Goldfish by cathedral carver reviews
Of impertinence, insomnia and the loneliest ones.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,948 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 196 - Follows: 10 - Published: 2/16/2010 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Doubting Thomas by Lady Azar de Tameran reviews
One Shot. AU. After all, every child deserves a mother who loves them. Even those who grow up to be monsters. Luna just never imagined things would turn out this way. Time Travel.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,556 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 1,310 - Follows: 177 - Published: 11/5/2009 - Luna L., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Harry's New Home by kbinnz reviews
One lonely little boy. One snarky, grumpy git. When the safety of one was entrusted to the other, everyone knew this was not going to turn out well... Or was it? AU, sequel to "Harry's First Detention". OVER A MILLION HITS!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 64 - Words: 318,389 - Reviews: 10391 - Favs: 5,297 - Follows: 2,143 - Updated: 10/16/2009 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
IT IS MAGIC AFTER ALL by Tilism reviews
After the 36 chap. in DH, they all come back to life: James, Lily, Sirius, Snape... Will the unresolved tensions and shadows of the past destroy the fragile present? Some uncomfortable truths and a lot of growing up as the final year begins at Hogwarts.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 14 - Words: 51,088 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 7/24/2009 - Published: 7/29/2007 - Severus S., Harry P.
20 Random Facts about Dennis Creevey by Technomad reviews
An examination of a little-seen character. Contains spoilers for Thanfiction's "Dumbledore's Army and the Year of Darkness," and is compliant with that continuity.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,237 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/22/2009 - Dennis C. - Complete
Love is Never Wasted by Raven Aorla reviews
Aziraphale is distressed about his feelings for and activities with Crowley. Someone comes to talk to him about it while he's feeding the ducks. Implied A/C, none shown. An Easter fic. A&C not mine.
Good Omens - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,337 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/12/2009 - Aziraphale
Two Sides Against the Middle by Rose of the West reviews
A young girl finds herself drawn to two very different young men as one of the young men is caught between two very different sides of a war. AU with DH spoilers, Female OC. Over 60K hits!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 92 - Words: 194,230 - Reviews: 361 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 4/6/2009 - Published: 9/2/2008 - Severus S., OC - Complete
Care of Magical Creatures by mia madwyn reviews
MLC-Seventh Year student Hermione Granger decides to marry the one eligible wizard who did not ask for her-the horrid but powerful Severus Snape. Angst, humor and lemons. Award Winner COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 67 - Words: 300,379 - Reviews: 3038 - Favs: 2,591 - Follows: 923 - Updated: 3/16/2009 - Published: 10/2/2007 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
Looking for Magic by Hypnobarb reviews
Severus Snape and Hermione Granger deal with traumas past and present and find they have more in common than they realize as they prepare for the ultimate confrontation with Voldemort. SSHG pairing. Not HBP compliant. This is a novel length story.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 115 - Words: 787,756 - Reviews: 5827 - Favs: 1,336 - Follows: 1,218 - Updated: 1/16/2009 - Published: 1/4/2006 - Hermione G., Severus S.
Underestimation by Owl344 reviews
Cavillo thinks about hatred, respect, and a certain twisty-minded, twisty-backed, god-damned *bastard*...
Miles Vorkosigan - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 717 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/20/2008 - Complete
Delicate by missparker85 reviews
It's not that we're scared, it's just that it's delicate. -- Damien Rice
StarTrek: Voyager - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 38,550 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 11/17/2008 - Published: 11/3/2008 - T. Paris, K. Janeway - Complete
Potions Prodigy by Snapegirlkmf reviews
An explosion turns Snape into a four-year-old! His daughters try to restore him with a complicated potion, but little Snape brews up cauldronfuls of trouble everywhere he goes! Rated for language
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 28,508 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 14 - Published: 1/26/2008 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
Not My Fault by Laume reviews
Written for the 3th floor corridor contest. To the very end, Lucius insist that it is not his fault.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,138 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/25/2005 - Lucius M., Draco M. - Complete
Hermione's List by moonglow11066 reviews
*COMPLETE* 7th Year; Voldemort has been defeated. Hermione has a few things left to do before she leaves Hogwarts. R for later chapters
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 26,034 - Reviews: 285 - Favs: 524 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 1/12/2003 - Published: 1/1/2003 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Fifty reviews
Snape contemplates his fiftieth birthday with a lot more grace than he thought capable. Granted, the boot camp which Dante laughingly called Purgatory changed a man. Not a sequel to BP, sorry! DH compliant.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 495 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/8/2010 - Severus S. - Complete
The Birthday Present reviews
COMPLETE. AU to HBP and DH. Snape and his apprentices form a bond which may never be broken, not even in death. And at the end of it, Severus Snape is able to perform a spell that he has never been able to do before. Ok, it's not a million words. I tried.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 85 - Words: 885,268 - Reviews: 2650 - Favs: 955 - Follows: 433 - Updated: 8/28/2007 - Published: 7/5/2005 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
My Husband's Scars reviews
A short oneshot meditation by Fleur nee Delacours Weasley about her husband Bill.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 264 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 6 - Published: 11/11/2006 - Fleur D., Bill W. - Complete
Folk of the Wood reviews
The battle has been wonbut what happens after? Snape has a choice to makeor does he? What happens when his sacrifice is accepted? HBP compliant, character death, redemption. S for Soppy.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,929 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 8 - Published: 7/21/2006 - Severus S., Albus D. - Complete
Grave Matters reviews
Hagrid tends to the grounds as is his job, but is surprised by an unexpected visitor. Surely no one would lie to the dead, would they? HBP spoilers. Character death.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,564 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 12 - Published: 7/21/2005 - Rubeus H., Severus S. - Complete
Midnight by the Weasley Watch reviews
COMPLETE. Ron Weasley makes up his schoolwork, and actually thinks for a change. Snape gets some Christmas presents he doesn't expect. The old game is over, but a new one is just beginning. Please read and review. And thanks to you all!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 61,121 - Reviews: 298 - Favs: 319 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 6/15/2003 - Published: 2/2/2003 - Ron W., Severus S. - Complete
Persephone reviews
In the late 1980's, Catherine takes Vincent to see PHANTOM OF THE OPERA on Halloween, the one night when Vincent can walk freely. Catherine finally admits her desire and love for Vincent, which is fulfilled.
Beauty and the Beast - Rated: M - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,312 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/12/2003 - Complete
Thunder Road reviews
The Weasley's magical car ponders on itsherorigins, and life in the Forbidden Forest. DarkFluff.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 967 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/29/2002 - Severus S. - Complete
Setzer's Christmas reviews
The child of Doom Gaze and Phunbaba threatens the land. Setzer must lead the others against it.
Final Fantasy I-VI - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 26,003 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/23/2002 - Complete
Staff of:
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