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Joined 08-09-11, id: 3144504, Profile Updated: 03-12-14
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

I'll be entirely honest.

I'm not all that amusing.

My daily life is boring. I shuffle papers and kiss ass for eight to fifteen hours,

then sit on my couch with a pint of Phish Food watching Spanish telenovelas.

Occasionally, I get an idea, and I write it down... but I get stuck easily.

I use humor to fill the voids.

I have a voice. She's funnier than I am.

I'm currently searching for a Beta\Muse who can shove me out of my current hole.

If you're into the sappy, love-sick teenage hormone driven romances, I'm not for you!

Uh... what else.

WE LIKE SPARKLY SHIT! Like coins and.. and shells. And rocks. And Jones Soda bottle caps. And safety pins.

Most of the time I can talk myself into reading just about everything, but I love all that is supernatural,

magic, dark, pithy, and any combo thereof.


Finished Product by Mortissues reviews
Part One of The Whitlock Saga. Decisions change lives. What happens when a series of decisions set you on the path to become a completely different person? When Edward decides to return life has already moved on.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 46 - Words: 88,622 - Reviews: 1733 - Favs: 1,459 - Follows: 496 - Updated: 3/16/2011 - Published: 1/31/2011 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
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Cherry Bomb reviews
Watch and learn, I wont show you twice.. J/B
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,126 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 3/12/2014 - Published: 12/28/2011 - Bella, Jasper
The World is a Vampire reviews
The path of revenge can be long and bittersweet. Finding yourself and your purpose along the way is just icing on the cake. j/b ch/p cursin' and torture
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,958 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 11/21/2011 - Published: 11/5/2011 - Bella, Jasper