Author has written 3 stories for Elfen Lied.
I am a guy who enjoys writing as a hobby. Somehow that seems more appropriate to say as opposed to referring to myself as a "writer", because in my mind, a writer makes words his profession and treats them professionally. I, on the other hand, often feel little more than an amateur. But then that is the point of my writing exercises, so that perhaps one day I might dare to refer to myself as a writer, and be counted among authors I have long respected.
At this point, I am halfway through (if not perhaps a little further) a rather ambitious project I set out for myself in August of 2011. A fanfic novel entitled "What is Written in Blood", in which I desired to further the tale of those characters I became so involved with. No anime had ever moved me so much as Elfen Lied did, and I became so swept up by it. It was this desire for "more" combined with gracious encouragement from an English professor which finally pushed me past my fear of starting it, and publishing it here. It did not take long for this project to become a large part of my life, even as busy as I often have been.
I write this as a general acknowledgement to those souls out there who have been following my progress on it; the ones who review, and those who have not, or do so rarely. I am grateful for all of you who are reading it. It is a constant reminder for me to keep faith in myself, when I sometimes lose it. I know I'm always saying it, but thank you all for that. I only say it so much because I never feel like I'm saying it well enough. Now, some frivolous details about me.
Getting the physical stuff out of the way, I'm tall, have waist length black hair, skinny but by no means fit whatsoever. So pretty much just a post goth/metalhead wisp of a human being that probably couldn't survive a stiff breeze anymore than my constitution could survive a stiff drink. I tend to look like a walking 80s metalhead cliche (not hairgel metal. Bulletbelt, combat boots metal), and I'm hopelessly introverted. If you spoke to me after reading any of my stories (or even this profile) you'd be hard pressed to believe you were even talking to the same person...if you could get two words out of me.
I'm very interested in themes of philosophy, and human connections, probably because I've often had such difficulties understanding those connections, being removed from such things most of the time. Because of that, I empathize with the underdog a lot of the time, finding that what is proper in this world isn't always what is right. In my opinion, anime, probably more than any other medium of visual entertainment, puts themes like love, honor, and passion into sharp relief, casting them in the form of impossible situations that could never reasonably happen in the real world the way they happen in anime. If that sentence was confusing, I'm sorry. That's the best way I can put it.
Some of my favorite animes have been Armatige the Third (cheesiness and all, Elizabeth Berkley's voice makes me want to pretend Showgirls never happened), Blue Gender (a chilling dystopia above, an apocalypse below, and the compelling ways it changes the survivors), Vampire Hunter D (because come on...who DOESN'T love a good old "i'm the baddest vampire in all of Vampiretown" flick?), Fushigi Yugi (don't mess with pre op trannies...they will FIGHT you), Tenchi Muyo/Universe (I'm a Ryoko fan...may she one day savagely obliterate Tenchi's virginity...Haruna doesn't count), and of course, Elfen Lied, which brought me here finally (the juxtapose of innocence and violence is striking, and my heart always ached for Kaede/Lucy/Nyu).
For the time being, I'll likely focus efforts on Elfen Lied. I hope I'm found worthy here, I've read a lot of great authors on this site. I'd like to think I could draw someone in as they drew me in.
I need to start off by apologizing. I fell off the face of the planet without an explanation. And the more the time passed, the easier it became to convince myself no one was paying attention anymore. Truth was, my guilt over this caused me to come up with that excuse that was JUST plausible enough to me to believe it at the time. After so much time, who was even still thinking about me?
Except I was wrong. Terribly wrong. Months passed, and then they turned into years. The email alerts still came. The reviews, the messages. If you sent it, I want you to know I read it. Every last one. My life went to shit for a very long time. I'd lost my apartment, ended a 3 year relationship only to wind up in an abusive one for another year, school and work seemed to demand so much more of my time than it did before and I was in probably the lowest point in my life. I started drinking heavily to get away from it for a while. That did not make things better. As it usually goes.
I realize this was far more information than you probably wanted. Trust me. I have spared you the worst of it.
Through it all, one of the only things that gave me a sense of worth was that there were those of you who never let this go. Never forgot about me or this story, that I'd basically abandoned because my life was spiraling out of control. When it did occur to me to respond, guilt froze me. It still does. I want to thank those of you who tried to reach me, though I never replied back. It was ungracious of me, whatever was going on in my life. I want you to know as guilty as I often felt for my long absence, knowing that some of you still cared after all this time was one of the things that carried me through.
Again, I realize this is highly personal and probably not really want you wanted to know. But I feel compelled to share this. Since it has been so unforgivingly long. And because that period of my life is over. Things are stable now. I can talk about this without shame. I felt obligated to face the guilt instead of continuing to avoid it as I'd done up to this point. I underestimated both mine, and this story's importance. I convinced myself I would be forgotten in a matter of months. Believing that hid me from the guilt, but I was wrong and it didn't work. You never forgot, and neither could I.
Thank you. And I'm sorry. This may seem melodramatic to some, and I admit that it is. But this is what is in my heart right now, and I wanted to say it. Regardless of how that makes me appear. I know it would seem like I'm overstating my OWN importance in what must seem like a self indulgent valediction, but trust me I realize this is generally no more than a curiosity to most folk. This isn't about what I think my project meant to you. It's about how much being remembered meant to me.
I have never stopped thinking about the final chapters of this story. I have several rough drafts on my desktop. Attempts to come back to this that always left me dissatisfied. I fear at this point that there is nothing I could possibly write that would make the long wait seem worth it. But I want to finish it. I need to. I hope this year will find me with the inspiration to end the project. It's incompletion has haunted me a long time. I won't make any promises as to when, but it is my hope and intention for 2017 to see the end of this story.
If you read this all the way through, thank you. I'm still alive. I haven't forgotten either.