Tie Kerl
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Joined 12-28-02, id: 316424
Author has written 8 stories for Artemis Fowl, and Misc. Plays/Musicals.
Tie Kerl. The very name strikes fear in the heart of faeries. They know my power. They know my intentions. And they know my ...

Oh, who am I kidding? I'm a fourteen-year-old kid with a stupid school uniform and an even stupider dog. And a parrot who won't stop cursing Hitler. Very long story.

Basically, here's a short summary of me and my co-writer, Kel.

Tie Kerl- Hyperactive, random, a normal kid. Wishs co-writer Kel would give up on trying to convince him to jump on the Holly/Juliet train. Likes Holly/Root, Holly/Trouble, and Holly/Foaly. Worships Julius.

Kel- A super-genius of some sort. Very, very picky about grammer, sentance structure, and a whole lot of other junk no one wants to know about. Earthy, and don't even get her started on 'Meat is Murder'. Likes basically all slash, but mostly Holly/Juliet, Butler/Root, and Artemis/Butler. Also loves Holly/Root and Holly/Foaly. Cannot stand Holly/Artemis.

Basically, I write anything that pops into my head when I have paper near by. I have the memory span of a goldfish ... If I need something serious done, Kel's more than happy to do it. She can't keep away from anything morbid. I mean, the girl's parents wanted to send her to a shrink when she was six because she laughed everytime Mufasa fell of the cliff. That was so sad ...

I currently have stories in Artemis Fowl and Cats, and none of them are any good. Don't read them. If you don't take my advice, drop me a review and tell me how much you hated them. No letter bombs, please. I get enough of those already.

Okay, ranting now. Most end bio ... Now.

~Fin~

What is with the fin thing? I mean, can't we just write 'end' in English? Or is it to make it like one of those morbid French videos where all the girl does is smoke and look out the window? Okay, still ranting ...

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Aftermath by darklight ascendant reviews
after EC, what? The C Cube has left human knowledge, but in its wake are untidy knots across the generally ordered stream that is humanity. RANDOM, NO LOGICAL PLOT.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,138 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/20/2009 - Published: 12/9/2003
The Official Fanfiction University of Cats by Ekwy reviews
At THIS school, you get to learn about important things that you have to know to write CATS based fanfiction. Who are the teachers? The characters themselves, of course! A Miss Cam approved spinoff. Chap. 33 up.
Cats - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 33 - Words: 84,825 - Reviews: 546 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 8/12/2006 - Published: 2/12/2005
Strictly Ballroom by slime frog reviews
Pre-EC. As a celebration of the defeat of the B'wa Kell, a ball will be held for all fairies who were involved. However, this provides a perfect opportunity for enemies of the LEP to strike... COMPLETE
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 61,361 - Reviews: 375 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 10/3/2003 - Published: 8/20/2002 - Complete
Fowl Fanfiction Boarding School by Trisyl reviews
FFBS welcomes you to a world of magic and fanfiction education, where characters you know and love/hate try to beat all the Mary-Sues they can out of you. Introducing the Canon Cannons, Mini Roots, and Brooms of Order! (I apologize for taking so long!)
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,313 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 3/30/2003 - Published: 2/2/2003
For the Love of Mister Artemis by Blue Yeti reviews
DEAD. When Butler dies in a field mission Artemis feels responsible and so takes on the role of guardian to his orphaned daughter as a way to say sorry. A response to BFW's challenge.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,230 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/30/2002 - Published: 12/15/2002 - Artemis F.
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Raising Deuteronomy reviews
Old Deuteronomy becomes ill, and sends himself to the Heaviside Layer to be reborn into another life. When the leader returns without his memories, no one knows what to do. And now, he keeps dreaming of a murder. History is threatening to repeat itself...
Misc. Plays/Musicals - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 53,421 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 6/6/2005 - Published: 7/14/2004
London Fog reviews
Cats one-shot: Two Jellicles get lost in the famed London fog. Words are exchanged. Most are curses. A birthday present for Kel the Nightmare! Slash
Misc. Plays/Musicals - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 396 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/13/2005 - Complete
Seasons of Love reviews
When a cast of Cats are forced to work over the holidays, they decide to throw a party in the theatre on Christmas Day. But there’s something else in the theatre, and then there’s the Scrooge-ish assistant director… Very cute. Rated because of slash refer
Misc. Plays/Musicals - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,684 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/24/2004
Life is Pretty Plain reviews
When Holly loses a magical stone, Artemis is recruited to find it. But someone already has. Kim Holmes is promptly kidnapped and brought to Ireland. Where she promptly does something incredibly stupid. Now they're stuck... somewhere...
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 35,131 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/19/2004 - Published: 8/24/2003
Adorabelle reviews
One-shot: A short, pointless story about what would happen if Artemis Fowl the Second built up an immunity to Mary-Sues...
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 750 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/27/2004 - Complete
Soy Butter and Unrequited Love reviews
A One-Shot HollyFoaly in all its fluffy glory! The normally humorous centaur muses about his relationship with Holly Short over lunch on Valentine’s Day, and finds that maybe his dreams aren’t as far away as he thinks.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,345 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 6 - Published: 2/14/2004 - Complete
Your Secret Admirer reviews
It’s Valentine’s Day in the LEP! When Holly and Commander Root receive cards from each other, they know something’s up. And I think we all know who’s behind it . . . Mostly humor, with a teensy insignificant bit of implied Holly/Root.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,692 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/14/2003
We're Not Gonna Take It! reviews
I messed around with the second book a bit, and came up with this. Just read it!
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,416 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/8/2003 - Published: 12/29/2002