Update as of Feb 2017: I haven't written much fanfiction in a while, but I have been working on original stuff! I'm querying my first novel and working on the first draft of my second (which, incidentally, is set in Greece and features a character based loosely on Ari from Just Perfect). If you like what you see here, you can find more of my work on my website:

Hope to see you there!

PLEASE NOTE: almost everything published on this site was written over ten years ago when I was an angsty emotional teenager. Don't judge me too harshly. ;)

Shai

Little Red-neck: And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.

All the little rednecks: A-men.

--Mean Girls

Weird Sicilian Dude: Inconceivable!

Inigo: I don't think that word means what you think it means.

--The Princess Bride

Yzma: A llama! He's supposed to be DEAD!

Kronk: Yeah...weird.

--The Emperor's New Groove

Alexander: I still don't understand why you're here.

Alexandra: I'm here because I was in the comic book.

Alexander: What?

Alexandra: Nothing.

--Josie and the Pussycats

Hades: Memo to me. Memo to me: maim you after my meeting.

--Hercules

Cleric: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...

Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...

Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

Brother Maynard: Amen.

--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Teeheehee giggle snort. I love Monty Python.

Bricktop: In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary...come again?