Author has written 2 stories for Pokémon.
News as of Wednesday 8th November 2013:
This account is pretty much dead these days, since all I do is RP, but still, thank you for visiting my little corner of the world. :)
Biography of Hunter In The TARDIS
Note: In this biography, Hunter In The TARDIS is referred to as 'Elle' for obvious reasons, but goes by many other names.
Elle joined FanFiction.net in August 2011, even though she has been writing fanfics since she was 10 years old. She is of Indian descent, and is most famous for a discontinued Pokemon fanfic inspired by her own life and her imagination. Her hobbies include daydreaming, reading, listening to music and being a couch potato in general.
Elle was born...
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Amazing Artist Award - First Prize, 3 times :)
Student of the Week
Phlebotomist Survival Medal x2000
Sanest Member of the Family -nominated
22 Things to do at Wal-Mart
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone," 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the foetal position and scream. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, Pikachu, go!"
17. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.
18. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you.
19. Throw things over one aisle into another one.
20. Mark out price tags with a sharpie.
21. Go to a random aisle and try to reach the top item. When someone comes and asks you if you need help, scream loudly "I can't reach my chexcereal!" and keep screaming it until they go away.
22. Stand in the middle of an aisle way and burst out into the Pepto Bismol song, dance moves included.
#1 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
#2 The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
#3 One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
#4 A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
#5 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell is he homeless or naked?
If a terminator is someone who kills, shouldn’t an exterminator be the opposite?
If there’s an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
If anything’s possible, then is it possible that nothing’s possible?
If practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, then why practice?
If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Reasons Why the Human Race Has Only Evolved Thus Far:
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?) (Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don'thave wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional.
Scroll down for each answer.
The questions are NOT that difficult.
But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
>>>The correct answer is:
Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?
>>> Wrong Answer:
>>> Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.
This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend... except one. Which animal does not attend?
>>> Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator.
You just put him in there.
This tests your memory.
Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat.
How do you manage it?
>>> Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across.
Have you not been listening?
All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting.
This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
I live in a world...
Where being normal is too mundane, too boring for a human being...
Where animals talk, and actually have something to say...
Where Christmas is magical, and miracles actually happen...
Where Halloween is brought by a dancing skeleton and a rag doll woman...
Where snow is because of a man with scissors for hands...
Where superheroes protect the innocent...
Where wardrobes have magical worlds inside...
Where wizards and witches are common...
Where owls bring the mail...
Where imagination powers everything...
Where half-god children go on adventures...
Where ghosts are real, and many are friendly...
Where anyone can fly, if they believe...
Where children never grow old...
Where fairies exist...
Where everyone is different...
Where the beds are made for jumping...
Where we spend the day laughing...
I live in a world different from everything, care to join me?
Thank you whoever wrote this!
--Some people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them.
--You laugh at me because I'm crazy, I laugh at you because there's an invisible leprechaun on your shoulder.
--Before you judge a person, walk a mile in his shoes. After that it doesn't matter. You're a mile away from him and you got his shoes.
--Sanity? Why would I want something as useless as that?
--We are not retreating...we are advancing in another direction.
--They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
--Whoever said "anything is possible" never tried to slam a revolving door.
--Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
--I'm not so good with advice. May I offer a sarcastic comment?
--Everyday I think people can't get any dumber. Every day I'm proven horribly wrong.
--Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
--Light travels faster than sound, that's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
--It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.
--Normal people worry me.
--And to think you are the result of millions of years of evolution.
--There's nothing that can't be fixed with duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over.
--I stopped fighting my inner demons quite some time ago. We're on the same side now.
--I do not have an attitude problem. I have an attitude, but I just can't find a problem with it.
--You're a great friend. But if zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.
--Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being stupid.
--I did not hit you, I simply high-fived your face.
--Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring, so I go back to being me.
--Someday we'll look back on all this and crash the car.
--On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
--Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
--Eagles may soar, but wolves don't get sucked up into jet engines.
--The next time someone says "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me" HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY!
--I didn't fall for you, you tripped me.
--I am being driven insane. And I must say the scenery is nice.
--Would you like a cookie? So would I.
--A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
--Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
--If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.
--A day without sunshine is like...Night.
--Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.
--Do not argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
--The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them.
--One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
--Some people say 'if you can't beat them, join them'. I say 'If you can't beat them, beat them', because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
--If at first you don't succeed...go back and reload the gun.
--Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
--Most learn by observation. Some learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually touch the fire to see if it is hot.
--Best friends are aware of how stupid you are, but still choose to be seen in public with you.
--Heaven doesn't want me there and Hell knows I'll take over.
--STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the body's desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.
--Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
--Work now, make others work later.
--I read somewhere that speaking in front of a crowd is the number one fear for an average person. Number two is death. That means if you have to be at a funeral, you'd rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.
--Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
As I lay in bed looking at the twinkling stars above me, I think, "Where the hell is my ceiling?"
I didn't lose my mind. I sold it on Ebay.
Warning: Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.
To date, life has been a race between Software companies making bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe making bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.
Smile. It scares people.
An overly-positive attitude may not be enough to solve a problem, but it sure ticks people off enough for it to be worth it.
A wise man once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman."
I get plenty of exercise; jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'
Reasons why being female is more fun:
Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
We can cry and get off speeding fines.
Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
We'll never regret piercing our ears.
We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without mistake. The average person can't.
this is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is a cat
this is retard cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working in the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
-When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch as the world wonders how the fuck you did it.
-Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
-When you get caught looking at them just remember they was looking back.
-You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
-Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake
-Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gurgle
-There's a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray it's not a train.
-Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
-I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
-Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. (It's POWERFUL)
-You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them.
-I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
-It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am.
-The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
-"I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down."
-The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.
-We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.
-Eat right, exercise, die anyway.
-I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
-They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
-Don't steal. The government hates the competition.
-If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.
-Tell the truth and run.
-Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense.
-Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.
-If you can't beat them, join them. Then take over.
-Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead.
-When angry, count to ten. When very angry, swear.
-Education is important. School, however, is another matter.
-A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.
-Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
-A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.
-I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
-When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
-Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”
-War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
-Growing older is manditory. Growing up is optional
-Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
-Sometimes you make me so mad I wanna throw you in the middle of ongoing traffic, but then I realise I would probably kill myself trying to save you.
-Keep on talking maybe one day you'll say something intelligent
-If all else fails, try reading the instructions.
-When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
-If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-Perfect men are only fictional.
-Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
-The trouble with life is there's no background music.
-I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
-The number of people staring at you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions.
-I believe that for every person in the universe there is a part of the universe that hates them
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,
When I grew up I was black,
When I'm sick I'm black,
When I go in the sun I'm black,
When I'm cold I'm black,
When I die I'll be black.
"But you sir...
When you're born you're pink,
When you grow up you're white,
When you're sick, you're green,
When you go in the sun you turn red,
When you're cold you turn blue,
And when you die you turn purple.
And yet you have the nerve to call me colored."
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Calling them FAKE won't make you REAL
Calling them DUMB won't make you SMART
Calling them WEAK won't make you STRONG
Calling them UGLY won't make you BEAUTIFUL
Calling them MEAN won't make you NICE
Calling them GAY won't make you STRAIGHT
Calling them RUDE won't make you POLITE
Calling them SCARED won't make you BRAVE
Calling them EVIL won't make you GOOD
Calling them LITTLE won't make you BIG
Calling them FAT won't make you FIT
Calling them A LONER won't make you POPULAR
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