Author has written 7 stories for Naruto, and Avengers.
Hey y'all Please be nice with reviews and don't flame or else you will rot, happy Reading!
A little about me...
Name: i dont know why you want to know that but call me Dean.
Age: try and guess i will give you a hint I am not dead.
favorite show: Supernatural, Doctor Who, Merlin, Suits, The Walking Dead, Teen Wolf, Big Time Rush, Psych,Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D, Arrow
favorite book: YOU CAN'T MAKE ME PICK! But recently I have discovered The Mortal Instruments, I am Number Four, and a few others.
Favorite animal: Wolves
Favorite Movie: SO many um Avengers, MI: Ghost Protocol, Now You See Me, Iron Man, most Marvel movies, Batman (original and remade), Red Dawn (New), and many others.
I OWN NOTHING!
blahblahblahblahblah i wont bore you any longer.
I found this poem in a book and I loved it...
Please Hear What I'm Not Saying By: Charlie Finn
Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear
for I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
masks that I'm afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,
but don't be fooled,
for God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as with-
out, that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command
and that I need no one,
but don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,
ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only hope, and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance.
if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me
of what I can't assure myself,
that i'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to, I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,
will not be followed by love.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me,
that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep down-down I'm nothing
and that you will see this and reject me.
So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
with a facade of assurance without and a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that's really nothing,
and nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine do not be fooled at what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I"m not saying,
what I'd like to be able to say,
what for survival I need to say,
but what I can't say.
I don't like hiding.
I don't like playing superficial phony games.
I want to to stop playing them.
i want to be genuine and spontaneous and me but you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand even when that's the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank rates of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind and gentle,and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings - -
very small wings
very feeble wings
With your power to touch me into feeling you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,
how you can be a creator - - an honest-to-God creator- -
of the person that is me if you chose to.
You alone can break down the wall which I tremble, you alone can remove my mask,
You alone an release me from my shadow-world of panic,
from my lonely prison,
if you chose to.
Please chose to.
Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach to me the blinder I may strike back.
It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than my string walls and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls with firm but gentle hands for a child is very sensitive.
Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you now very well.
For I am every man you meet and I am every woman you meet.
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you can read that please put it in your profile.
Please read this:
This is a true story. All schools have a class clown, someone that gets on everyones nerves and that no one likes. There was one of these boys in this one school. Nobody liked him at all. He had no friends, the teachers hated him for his disruptiveness, and the students found him annoying beyond belief. He never seemed to care. One day, he had finally stepped on his teachers last nerve. What the teacher did was make everyone in the class stand up and tell the boy something they didn't like about him. As each of the thirty students stood up and said something about him they didn't like, he only sat and didn't seem to mind. All of the students did it.
That day, when school was out, the boy went home, grabbed his dads gun, and shot himself in the head.
If you think that the teacher was to blame, and that what she did was morally wrong and completely shameful, copy and paste this into your profile. Then, if you would have been the one to stand up and say "I'm not going to do this" then add your username to the list.
Try not to cry
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Man: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Man: Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't
forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for
the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that
mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister
is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched
Person: I like pie!
Person #2: I like cake!
Person #2: See for yourself - gives a cake -
Person: - about to take bite -
Person #2: CAKE BOMB
Person: WHAT THE FUC-- *BOOM*
Person #2: *laughs like a maniac* that never gets old :) they fall for it everytime.
(((((True love))))) A guy and a girl were riding on a motorcycle... Girl: slow down I'm scared. Guy: no this is fun. Girl: no it's not please it's way to scary! Guy: then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you now slow down. Guy: now give me a big hug. She gave him a big hug. Guy: can you take off my helmet & put it on yourself? it's bothering me.
-In the newspaper the next day a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so that she would live even if it meant that he would die. If you would do the same for a person you love then copy this into your profile.
When life gives you Lemons
When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? Who likes lemons?
When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, sit back and watch the world wonder how.
When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
When Life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
When life gives you lemons,make apple juice,then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.
When life gives you lemons, chunck them at the people you hate.
When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!
When life gives you lemons squirt them in life's eyes, then run far, far away.
25 Reasons I owe my mother.
1. My mother taught me to APPERCIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3.My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into next week."
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORSIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about,"
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about weather.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
10. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck."
11. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
" You'll sit there until all that spinich is gone."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a millon times. Don't exaggerate."
13. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
16. My mother taught me about about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home!"
17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing you eyes, their going to freeze that way."
18. My mother taught me about RECIEVING.
" You are going to get it when we get home."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold."
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come crying to me."
21. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
22. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables you'll never grow up."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut the door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
" When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you
9 Things I Find Annoying:
1. People Who Point At Their Wrist While Asking For The Time... I Know Where My Watch Is Pal, Where The Hell Is Yours? Do I Point At My Crotch When I Ask Where The Toilet Is?
2. People Who Are Willing To Get Off Their Ass To Search The Entire Room To Find The TV Remote Because They Refuse To Get Up And Change The Channel Manually.
3. When People Say, 'Oh You Just Want To Have Your Cake And Eat It Too.' Damn Right! What Good Is Cake If You Can't Eat It?
4. When People Say, 'It's Always The Last Place You Look.' Of Course It Is. Why The Hell Would You Keep Looking After You Found It? Do People Do This? Who And Where Are They? I'm Gonna Kick Their Asses!
5. When People Say While Watching A Film, 'Did You See That?' No Loser, I Spent 12 Dollars To Come To The Cinema And Stare At The Damn Floor.
6. People Who Ask, 'Can I Ask You A Question?' Didn't Really Give Me A Choice There, Did Ya Sunshine?
7. When Something Is 'New And Improved.' Which Is It? If Its New, Then There Has Never Been Anything Before It. If Its An Improvement, Then There Must Have Been Something Before It, So It Can't Be New.
8. When People Say, 'Life Is Too Short.' What The Hell? Life Is The Longest Damn Thing Anyone Ever Does! What Can You Do That's Longer?
9. When You're Waiting For The Bus And Someone Asks, 'Has The Bus Come Yet?' If The Bus Came, Would I Be Standing Here Dumbass?
If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you weird, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever pulled on a door that said push, or vice versa, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever stayed up past 2 in the morning reading, copy and paste this on your profile. (More like all night! :D)
If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this to your profile
Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to "magically wrap around" Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody! A rock would tear that shit up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you
If you approve gay-marriages put this in your profile and add your name to the list:
Gaara's-pandachan101, art-is-a-BANG-2-hard-to-resist, Lee-All-The-Way, Starship13, Wistful-Dreamer, Calypphire, Shadow-Ravin, BlackPheonix913, Valerya Potter, Dowash, Phoenixsapphira, yamiyugi23,QueenOfCitrus,Vordax0110, CaptainofAsgard
I went to a party, Mom, I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom, so I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, Mom, the way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom, even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom, I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom, as everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom, I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me, so responsible and sweet.
I started to drive away, Mom, but as I pulled out into the road,
the other car didn't see me, Mom, and hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom, I hear the policeman say,
the other guy is drunk, Mom, and now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom. . . I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom? My life just burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, Mom, and most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say I'll die in a short time.
I just want to tell you, Mom, I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom. The others didn't think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank and I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom? It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now. Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom, and I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here here dying, and all he can do is stare.
Tell my brothers not to cry, Mom. Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom, put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave,
Someone should have told him, Mom, not to drink and drive,
If only they had told him, Mom, I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom. I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom. When I needed you, you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom, before I say goodbye.
I didn't drink and drive, so why am I the one to die?
I saw this on a someones profile, and I cried when I read it. Hundreds of people die every day because of DWI. And most of them are teenagers. Shouldn't this
Some examples the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: the fear of long words. Now what SmartAss came up with that? If you think that is really funny, but can't pronounce it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you get way too excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.
-Calls name- "Yes, Mom..." -no answer- "YES!" -no answer- Screw that, I'm not getting up...
Whenever I can't find something, it just magically appears when my mom looks
Getting comfortable on the couch, then seeing the remote is one the other side
I Hate when My Best Friend Isn't at School
I Wish I Could Record My Dreams And Watch Them Later
I Love The Kid That Makes The Classroom Fun By Arguing With The Teacher
Please don't pick me, please don't pick me, please don't pick...aww crap
"I hate you." "Awww, I love you too."
If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile. (YES!! I cover it up saying "A woman never reveals her true age")
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly stupid, copy and paste this into your profile
I Am Not That Girl:
I am not that girl, The one that is super popular. The one that is rich. The one that will lie to get her way. The one that doesn't care about your feelings. The one that has a new boy-friend every week. The one that hates life because she wear size two jeans. The one that would cry over a boy. The one that will give up because she broke a nail. The one that started wearing make-up at nine years old.
I am that girl, The one who likes books. The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy. The one who reads and writes to escape. The one who just wants to help. The one that just wants to make a difference. The one that doesn't look at race or homosexuality. The one that cries when she feels alone or helpless; it only shows that she's strong. The one that knows she's beautiful, no matter what others say. The one that refuses to believe that this is it. The one that doesn't care if she eats too many cinnamon buns...they taste good. The one that people like because she's crazy. The one that will do anything to make people feel better. The one who won't give in. The one who won't give up.
Fire and Ice
Some say the world will end in fire
some say in ice.
from what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire
but if it had to perish twice
i think i know enough of hate
that for destruction ice
is also great
and would suffice
There are people in Africa that can't afford sarcasm, and yet, you abuse it.
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver
Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk
I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth
Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.
You call me a B--ch well a B--ch is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
It's all fun and games until someone get hurt...then its hilarious.
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
Never go to bed angry, stay up and plot your revenge.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The more I learn, the less I understand.
"My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone."
"If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?"
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the hell is happening.
There are plenty more fish in the sea, but who wants to go out with a fish?
Some people are like a slinky. They have absolutely no use; but you can't help smile, when you see one fall down the stairs.
Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING?
Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy ANYTHING.
MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!
God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft.
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now where the heck am I?
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love
Six hours later, I still hadn't managed to write a full sentence for the paper due the next morning. However, I did win 7 out of 245 games of Solitaire.
A Tragic Story:
Her name was Auroura She was only five This is what happened When she was alive
Her dad was a drunk her mom was an addict her parents kept her Locked in an attic
Her only friend was a little toy bear It was old and worn out and had patches of hair
She always talked to it when no one's around She lays there and hugs it not a peep of sound
Until her parents unlock the door some more and more pain she’ll have to endure
A bruise on her leg a scar on her face why would she be in such a horrible place?
But she grabs her bear And softly cries She loves her parents But they want her to die
She sits in the corner Quiet but thinking, " God, why? Why is My life always sinking? "
Such a bad life For a sad little kid She'd get beaten and beaten For anything she did
Then one night Her mom came home high The poor child was hit and slapped As hours went by
Then her mom suddenly Grabbed for a blade It was sharp and pointy One that she made
She thrusted the blade Right in her chest, " You deserve to die You worthless pest! "
The mom walked out Leaving the girl slowly dying She grabbed her bear And again started crying
Police showed up At the small little house They quickly barged in Everything was as quiet as a mouse
One officer slowly Opened a door To find the sad little girl Lying on the floor
It must have been bad To go through so much harm But at least she died With her best friend in her arms
If you hate child abuse, you will re post this on your profile. Do it now!.
THINGS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR WHILE UNDERGOING SURGERY:
1. "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."
2. "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."
3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness
4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"
5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"
6. "Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingy."
7. "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."
8. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"
9. "Damn, there go the lights again..."
10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them."
11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?"
Him: What time should i ask to be home?
I love him,
he Said "i love you" and i sneezed and said "ohh sorry;; But im Alergic to :.B.u.l.l.s.h.i.t.
I have skittles in my mouth... wanna taste the rainbow?
GUY: you look familiar
If nothing lasts forever, can i be your nothing?
I wear black because it blends well with my soul.
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
I Googled you today and I'm disturbed with what I found.
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Kids Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
TEACHER: Glen, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it!
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
I have PMS and a gun... now what were you saying?
Spanish person: *speaks fast mad spanish*
Person: DUDE SLOW DOWN! DORA DIDN'T TEACH ME THAT YET!
"Dear math I don't want to solve your problems I have my own to solve."
"Some people need a high five... in the face... with a chair."
"It's a beautiful day, now watch some idiot screw it up."
"Algebra I'm not going to find your X she's not coming back!".
95 percent of teenagers don't like to read, if you are part of the 5 who does, copy & paste this on your profile. Add your name. Dragons of Egypt. Twila Starla. AIT98. Minerva's Cat. lancelotguineverefan.alexandriarulesforever,Iyceflame, Isabel M, Aguilita Cruz, LuvPercy782347213, CaptainofAsgard
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're favorite character always dies, put this on your profile!
Some people say they are big readers. That they're so into books it's not funny. However the only way to tell is if they 1) Suddenly gasp when something exciting happens in the book. 2) Start talking to the book because that's not how they want the book to go. 3) Hurl the book across the room when one of their favorite characters dies. Copy and paste this if you are one of these people.
You see a kid abusing a puppy with a baseball bat.
If you've ever walked into a wall, door, table, chair, or other large solid object even when it was in plain sight, copy and paste this in your profile.
98% of teens have been drunk or high. Paste this into your profile if you like bagels.
If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him.
So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.'
He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'
There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes.We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!' He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.' I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and Dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.
You now have two choices, you can : 1) Put this on your profile or 2) Forget you read this and act like it didn't touch your heart. As you can see, I took choice number one.
Procrastination is a teenager's best friend. Procrastinators of the world, unite! ... copy and past to your profile
The Stupid Test! heehee. (put an x next to the one that is you, than in the end, add up all of the x's. if you have 18 or less, than u r not stupid.) p.s. this is not a real test, just something for fun!
(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.
(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.
(x) You have run into a glass/screen door.
() You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
(x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
(x) You have run into a tree.
() It IS possible to lick your elbow
(x) You just tried to lick your elbow.
(x) You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star have the same rhythm.
(x) You just tried to sing them.
(x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
(x) You have choked on your own spit.
() You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it.
(x) You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice
(x) You just looked at it.
() Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde/has blonde in it.
(x) People have called you slow.
total so far=13
(X) You have accidentally caught something on fire
(x) You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.
(x) You have caught yourself drooling.
() You’ve fallen asleep in class
() If someone says “fart” you laugh.
() You just laughed.
total so far= 16
(x) Sometimes you just stop thinking
(x) You tell a story and forget what you were talking about
(x) People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you(NOT FAIR! That has NOTHING to do with my level of intellegence!!)
() You are often told to use your “inside voice”.
(x) You use your fingers to do simple math.
total so far= 20
() You have eaten a bug.
() You are taking this test when you should be doing something important
(x) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it
(x) You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, pocket, head, etc.
total so far= 22
() You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will
() You break a lot of things.
() Your friends know not to use big words around you
(x) You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused
(X) You have fallen out of your chair before
(X) When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling(That's just boredom... not stupidity)
Total all together= 25
If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't fit the description of the non-existent word of 'normal', then put this into your profile right now!!
If several inanimate objects just seem to hate you copy and paste this to your profile.
If you're anti-social sometimes, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you should sleep more and you KNOW it but don't do anything about it, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't know why people can't get it through their heads that members of the opposite sex can just be friends, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.
If you think that Pokemon is cool, copy this into your profile
If you ever wanted to be sent to an asylum just so you can bounce around in the white padded room, copy and paste this to your profile!!
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you've ever quoted Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this onto your profile.
If you believe Itachi has secret laughing fits when no one is watching, copy and paste this in your profile!
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe), PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, mahalo4ursupport, Kuro Uchiha, Sacra Nox, Haruko-Uzumaki, Heza-chan x3, totalnarutofangirl85, A'isha Ishtar, Uqluiorra12345, Sina-san, CaptainofAsgard
If you are always pressing one button when you mean to press another, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever wanted to kill someone (albeit a man in a purple and green dinosaur suit known as 'Barney the Dinosaur', any sound-nin from Naruto, George Bush, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, or any other fool) then realized murder is illegal then copy and paste this into your profile.
Less than 1 precent of teenagers don't use make-up. Are you one of those who don't? BE PROUD AND GLUE THIS THING IN YOUR PROFILE!
If your family wonders how you can remember all the Naruto character's names, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name here: Moonlight Music Mistress, -Blooming Moon-, A'isha Ishtar, Uqluiorra12345, Sina-san, CaptainofAsgard
If you are still reading this, copy and paste all of this to your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you think Gaara's past is suckish and he really needs some love, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think those stupid kids from the cereal/yogurt commercials should just let Lucky, the Trix Rabbit, and Wolf have their cereal/yogurt in peace, copy and paste this into your profile.
Did you know...
Kissing is healthy.
Bananas are good for period pain.
It’s good to cry.
Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
Lying is actually unhealthy.
You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
It’s actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.
It’s impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
Chocolate will make you feel better.
Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
A good friend never judges.
A good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.
Boys aren't worth your tears.
We all love surprises.
I DID BORE YOU!! XD