Poll: Which fandom do you think I'm better at writing for? Vote Now!
Author has written 15 stories for Legend of Zelda, Slender, and Person of Interest.
NAME: Dakota Malkyn
CURRENT AGE: Seventeen (This number is changed yearly)
CURRENT OCCUPATION(S): Herpetologist, rescuer & rehabilitator, reptile breeder, herpkeeper, creationist, photographer, writer.
MENTAL STATE: 10% filled with the voices of my characters, 40% filled with reptiles, 20% filled with the Legend of Zelda/Star Wars/Doctor Who/Metroid/Person of Interest, 30% obsessed with knives, swords, daggers, and the like(anything sharp and dangerous, but no, I'm not a psychopath, just a knife collector).
OTHER NAMES: JentherophisGuttatus (My identity on iherp.com, slicke8.wix.com/watermarkreptiles, and cornsnakes.com), VoadorChama (My deviantART alias).
BEWARE; I AM OBSESSED WITH: God, writing, Lionel Fusco, bounty hunters, dragons, snakes, music, art, etymology, photography, deviantART, the Legend of Zelda, Monstrous Nightmares, Mandalorians, herpetology, swords, daggers, Star Wars, concealable weapons, homemade weapons, Thunderdrums, Person of Interest, the Ninth Doctor...
STUFF THAT REALLY ANNOYS ME: Evolution, bad grammar, bad punctuation, bad spelling, the decline of the English language, FantasyFiction(see below definition), lack of reviews, yaoi, yuri, slash and fem!slash, Shapeshifters(see below definition), moronic behavior(see below definition), stupid ideas(see below definition), ZeLink, Uther Pendragon, Boogers(see below definition), rabid Fem!Sheik people(see below definition), Captain Jack Harkness, wrongness(see below definition), Lady Cassandra, Rapid Mousers(see below definition), telephones, Intelligent Stupidity(see below definition)...
If you don't agree with me or my views, then go ahead and click the back button. I won't waste my time arguing with you.
MY WEBSITE FOR WATERMARK REPTILES & RESCUE:
FANS OF THE DRAGON SERIES: READ THE FOLLOWING!
I created a website for the Dragon Series! :o) This is purely for fun; obviously, I in no way make any money off of this. Pretty much the same thing as a fanfiction, only with a lot more than just words. If you like my AU Dragon Series, then I'm pretty sure that you'll like the site! It's also good if you've always wondered what some of the characters, like Shora or Lorian, look like.
DEFINITIONS OF WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS ACCORDING TO CEU PRACA:
FantasyFiction: Fanfics that are written for the sole purpose of pairing two characters that would realistically NEVER fall in love. Examples: Link/Nabooru, Link/Ruto, Zelda/Ganondorf, Samus Aran/Adam Malkovitch, Samus Aran/Anthony Higgs, etc.
Rabid fem!Sheik people: Fans of the Legend of Zelda universe who insist that Sheik and Zelda are the same person, and have a passionate hatred for those people who may think otherwise. Note that I am not hating on any of you fem!Sheik fans that may be reading this, I just don't understand why you have to get so angry when people like the idea of Sheik and Zelda being separate people, and Sheik being male. By the way, I am one of those male!Sheik people, so don't hate me, or there will be consequences.
Stupid ideas: Anything from jumping off a cliff to pairing Link with Saria.
Moronic behavior: Includes but not limited to cussing, trolling, spamming, and punching chickens...
Boogers: Flamers and people who can't accept the idea of something being noncanonical.
Wrongness: Yaoi, yuri, slash, and Fem!slash. In a nutshell, homosexuality; it disgusts me and I do not approve of it.
Rapid Mousers: People who favorite and follow stories, but never leave any reviews.
Shapeshifters: People who say one thing and do another. Example: someone who calls themself a Christian and follower of God's word, yet their writings and artworks tell a whole other story. This applies to people on deviantART, FanFiction.net, and in real life. I know hypocrites like this both online and in real life, and they bug me more than anything else.
Intelligent Stupidity(being dumb on purpose): When someone is over thirteen years old and they teyp leik dis, or lIkE tHiS, or Capitalizing Every Single Word In A Sentence When The Sentence Clearly Isn't A Title, or misspellig evyr oher werd, or uses words improperly like accept/except, their/they're/there...there is no excuse for this! If English isn't your first language, then bad grammar and spelling is excusable; I'll be the first to admit that English is the most difficult language to learn. But if you are on this website, chances are that you are in school or have graduated, and thus know how to spell/punctuate properly and thus are simply too lazy to do so. Writing a fanfiction on your phone is no excuse; I know full well how high-tech phones nowadays are, and you can write stuff just fine on them.
Legendaries: Hardcore Legend of Zelda nerds/geeks.
The Joker's Worst Enemies: People who take fanfiction so seriously that they get their britches in a wad if even one thing is noncanonical or inaccurate, even if the writer states that all inaccuracies and noncanon was intentional. This includes people who get so into fanfiction that they get upset if their favorite character dies or the writer doesn't update for a few weeks or months. To these people I say, "Why so serious?"
Questioners: Those people who are always asking me "How did you come up with that idea or story?" or "How the fjsbnjablak did you invent an entire language?!" The answer to this, people, is quite simple. I-M-A-G-I-N-A-T-I-O-N. Something which you apparently lack.
I, as both a reader and a writer find it increasingly infuriating that stories can get thousands of hits, yet only a few reviews. What could take you five or ten minutes to read could have taken someone several hours to write and a lot of planning. Why can't you take one minute to write a comment about their works? Reviews encourage people and make them feel good about the writing.
I, Ceu Praca, do solemnly swear to review all the stories I read, regardless of the number of reviews, its age, or anything else.
I have joined the Review Revolution. Will you?
The Person of Interest team (Jonathan Nolan, Taraji P. Henson, Jim Caviezel, and Michael Emerson) reflect on Seaon 3 Episode 9, "The Crossing." This really honors Jocelyn Carter, and any PoI fan would be an idiot to not watch this.
From here on out, I'm going to be answering a lot of FAQs. That means questions that I get asked a lot by my readers/reviewers; these are the questions, along with the exact answers that I have given people before. So before you ask me any question, read this first, okay?
WHAT FANDOMS DO YOU WORK IN?
I am currently obsessed the Legend of Zelda. I did publish a Slender oneshot, and I have lately been hooked on writing Person of Interest stories that, so far, center on Detective Lionel Fusco. I also have a lot of stories on the backburner that have yet to be posted, such as stories for Metroid, How To Train Your Dragon, and Star Wars.
The fandoms I love come and go as my 'most favorite' in phases. I may write Legend of Zelda like crazy for many months, and then suddenly start writing for Person of Interest, so be patient with me as I try to collect my thoughts and get one story done at a time(which is difficult, believe me).
WHAT DOES YOUR USERNAME MEAN? HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH IT?
My username is Brazilian Portuguese, and, roughly translated, means 'Sky Soldier.' I originally came up with it as the name for a character in a novel of mine, and later on decided to use the name here. I will often go by the names of characters from my novels, actually, such as Dakota Malkyn or Voador Chama. Oh, yeah, Dakota is not my real name. XD
WHAT ARE THOSE FOREIGN WORDS IN SOME OF YOUR STORIES? I CAN NEVER FIND THEM ON GOOGLE TRANSLATE OR OTHER SEARCH/TRANSLATOR ENGINES!
I have three original languages that I invented out of my own imagination; obviously, none of them would be on Google Translate or anything similar. Only two of them appear in my fanfictions, and they are called Tilgua, and Shaekar; I put a glossary at the end of each chapter where those foreign languages are, with a translation, so that you don't have to be confused. Take the time to read the glossaries, please. My languages are incomplete, though, so don't be asking me to give you the full grammar and sentence structures of those tongues. Tilgua is normally found in my Metroid stories, while Shaekar is strictly for the Legend of Zelda. I'll also have random words in Gerudo or Zora languages, but again, these are completely made-up.
DO YOU MIND IF I PM YOU JUST TO TALK OR ASK YOU ABOUT ONE OF YOUR STORIES?
If you're bored and want to talk, then go right ahead. :o) Don't worry, I'm friendly; I don't bite. I try to speak as honestly and candidly as I can, so feel free to talk to me if you want. However, I do have a real life outside of this computer which includes work and sleep, and that requires that I get a sane amount of sleep, which means if I abruptly stop replying to you, it's probably because I went to bed or went to work. I can't stay up past midnight to talk to people who, for all I know, are on the other side of the world. Just remember: it might be midday or the afternoon where you are, but it might be midnight where I am.
WHAT ANIMALS DO YOU LIKE?
I love all animals. Even arachnids and creepy-crawlies have their own beauty; I like to photograph spiders and scorpions. XD Parasites and bacteria, while a pain, are really, really cool when you look at them closely. I like furry things such as cats, dogs, deer, bears, etc., and I like birds and such, but my favorite animals are snakes, lizards, turtles, crocodilians, snakes, frogs, toads, salamanders, snakes, newts, dragons, snakes, and scorpions. Especially snakes. XD
WHILE WE'RE ON THIS SUBJECT, HOW MANY ANIMALS DO YOU HAVE?
Over twenty animals, including a dog, a rabbit, a lot of fish, cats, and chickens.
Wait, you wanted to know how many animals I, personally, own? Well...I have fourteen reptiles, not counting eggs that have yet to hatch. :o) And one cat. And two emerald corycats. And an aquatic snail. :P
HOW OFTEN DO YOU UPDATE YOUR FANFICTIONS? WHAT WRITING PROJECT ARE YOU WORKING ON NOW?
Well, for one, I don't have specific days that I update on like some writers I know of. That aside, I tend to write a lot throughout the week, and because of how fast I can write, I might have two or three chapters finished in one day. Or, if inspiration is slow for me, it might take me a month to finish one chapter. However, if I spend too much time focused on one particular story, I will get severe writer's block mainly because I've been focusing on it too much. Because of this, I'm usually working on quite a few different stories at once, so please, if you have found a story of mine that you like, but it isn't complete yet, then wait patiently. Trust me, I always finish what I've started, but sometimes it may take me a while to do so.
Occasionally, I'll put one of my stories on hold, but I plan on finishing it someday. I never trash a story unless it is actually deserving of the title 'trash.' If you have found a story that I put on hold, then know this: I will finish it. I just have more pressing matters to do first(or a severe, crippling form of writer's block). And sorry, but because of my crazy, psychotic brain, I am always working on at least three stories at once, so forgive me if I take forever to complete the one. On the bright side, at least I can focus without screwing up the timelines and stuff.
Right now, I am working on my AU Dragon Series; I'm revamping Dragon Sword, writing Ka Relohin erro Majora, and doing various other smaller stories like No, Not a Stalfos. I will also write Person of Interest oneshots without warning, typically on Wednesdays, the day after having watched the newest PoI episode, which air on Tuesday nights. Those oneshots I typically finish in a day(sometimes within an hour!), so they don't distract me from my LoZ writings at all.
I HAVE OFTEN BEEN ASKED WHAT LEGEND OF ZELDA SHIPPINGS I LIKE WRITING/READING ABOUT AND WHY. HERE THEY ARE:
OoT Link/Malon Why? Because it's logical. They're both simple people who love horses, music, and relaxing, and they are around the same age. (Personally, I think Malon might be a little older than Link, but...whatever.)
TP Link/Ashei It makes a lot of sense, if you think about it. Two swordmasters, fighting evil, and they don't get along with each other when they first meet, but then they start working together.
Shad/Hena Why? They are both shy and reserved, aren't really all that social, and they both love books, and besides that, I think the two of them are adorable together.
WW Link/Tetra Note I said Tetra, not Zelda. They make sense, because, while Tetra is technically royalty, she's also a pirate captain who does what she wants, and obviously, she likes Link.
Sheik/OoT Zelda Those of you who don't believe in them being two separate people might hate me, but...I like this pairing. XD
Note that I am also perfectly fine with OCs being paired with canon characters, but only if it's well-written and not just some "Oooh, I
I HAVE ALSO BEEN ASKED WHAT LEGEND OF ZELDA SHIPPINGS I DISAPPROVE OF AND WHY, SO HERE THEY ARE:
OoT Link/Saria I know how many fans of LinkxSaria there are, but if you think really hard about this and use your squishy gray lump of a brain...Link is mortal. He grows up. Saria does not. Him thinking of her in that way is basically turning Link into a pedophile. And another thing to think about: Link was brought to the forest as a tiny baby(possibly even a newborn), and obviously would need one of the Kokiri to take care of him. From what we see of their interactions in Ocarina of Time, then it's quite clear that Saria is probably the person who raised him; would you really date your mom?
OoT Link/Ruto I honestly don't understand this pairing. He's human. She's a fish. Unless you failed biology, it should be fairly obvious that they are not biologically compatible. I don't care that she tricked him into being engaged to her, they just...don't work.
OoT Link/Impa I have seen this pairing before, and it makes me sick. Impa is probably sixty years older than him at least. It doesn't work; it's like if Link started dating his grandmother!
OoT Link/Nabooru Again, this lady is old enough to be his mom.
OoT Link/OoT Zelda I know, you guys are going to want to lynch me for disliking this pairing, but just hear me out: Hyrule is obviously a medieval culture. In medieval culture, you were expected to marry into your social class, and marrying someone who is beneath or above you in social culture was considered disgraceful, at the very least, and at most, downright sacreligious. Zelda is the Princess of Hyrule, and later on, the Queen. Even though we don't know much about his history, Link is most likely a commoner by birth. Even with his status as the hero, a relationship with the queen would be considered a disgrace. Never minde the fact that in every game that occurs after OoT chronologically, then each new hero starts out in a rural setting, commonly portrayed as being poor and a nobody; if he was royalty, why would he be herding goats and picking pumpkins, eh?
TP Link/Iza She's not his type. 'Nuff said.
TP Link/Ilia I don't like Ilia, and they really have nothing in common other than the fact that she's constantly trying to steal his horse.
TP Link/TP Zelda I have my own personal reasons for this, because of the Dragon Series that I wrote.
Shad/Ashei He is a quiet, reserved, bookworm historian...and Ashei is a rude, violent swordswoman. These two do not fit together.
I think I covered all of the basics; if I left out anyone, you can tell me. Again, I do not approve of homosexuality, so I deliberately avoided covering those kind of pairings.
THE COPY-AND-PASTE SECTION; IF YOU DON'T LIKE READING THESE THINGS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP DOWN TO MY STORY LIST:
If you've ever stayed up WAY past midnight to finish a book...copy and paste this.
If your the kind of person who had more than ten pets, copy and paste this. (I have over fourteen animals)
If you are STUPID, then copy and paste this into your profile. (STUPID: Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand)
If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
98% of authors confuse "you're" and "your" and "its" and "it's." If you're one of the 2% who knows how to tell them apart, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you tend to talk to yourself, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.
If you have an exceedingly long profile because of copy-and-paste items, copy and paste this into your profile to make it even longer.
If your profile would be insanely long even without the copy and paste items...copy and paste this.
If you've ever been on the computer for hours on end, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever wanted to go into a book and slap/scream at a character, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are one of the 99% of people who copy and paste stuff into their profile 'just because,' then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you love Legend of Zelda and are 100 percent proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. (I have a few dozen of my own worlds...)
If you hear the voices of your characters in your head, please copy and paste this into your profile. (Mostly Lorian and Mariel's voices)
Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientist's likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who couldn't care less, copy this, and put it in your profile.
If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile. (With me, it's Southern, Irish, British, and Australian.)
If you like reading fanfics, copy and paste this.
If you've ever copied something from someone else's profile, copy this onto your profile!
If you're one of those people that gets excited with just two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're anti-social, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you believe spelling and grammar are important, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile.
If you fix typos in copy and pastes, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've read other people's profiles to copy and paste things, paste this into your profile.
If sometimes your fanfics seem to write themselves, copy this into your profile.
If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile. (Playing make-believe; although, for me, it's usually role-playing in my room to figure out tough spots in my books)
If you are a Nintendo fan to your very core, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile. (I am guilty of speaking in Shaekar without realizing it; when you're bilingual, it can be tough to remember which language I need to be speaking currently)
If you find yourself making fanfictions of other fanfictions in your head, post this in your profile.
If you absolutely hate it when someone posts a sad, heartfelt, or cool story and then says that you must be heartless, you're going to die, or something similar if you don't repost or forward the story, then copy and paste this on your profile. And by the way, guilt-tripping me into reposting something is actually a really good way to get me to NOT repost something.
If you don't fit the description of the non-existent word of 'normal', then put this into your profile right now!
If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because your a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile. (Who says I can't fight?! *grabs my Case brand skinning knife*)
If you threaten inanimate objects, copy and paste this into your profile. (I hate my bookshelf)
If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, cried, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've ever written stuff on your car windows when they're covered in condensation, copy this to your profile.
If you read your own stories or profile just for the heck of it,copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have authors you respect, copy and paste this to your profile. (Brandon Mull, C.S. Lewis, T.A. Barron, Francis Chan, Terri Blackstock, J.R.R. Tolkien, Ted Dekker, Max Lucado, Brian Jacques)
If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you weird, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Like when Seth and Kendra had to milk the milch cow in Fablehaven. XD)
Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess. She was kind, caring and polite like all princesses were. She lived in a castle far away. One day, while she was picking flowers, a dragon captured her and took her to his lair that was hidden far from the kingdom. She stayed with the dragon for months. Then one day a handsome knight in shining armor came and shouted "FEAR NOT FAIR MAIDEN! I AM HERE TO RESCUE YOU FROM THIS FOUL BEAST!" 95% of girls would scream "MY HERO!" If you're one of the 5% who would say "No thanks, I'm good here" paste this onto your profile.
If you're a girl who likes reptiles and is proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile. (I have snakes, lizards, and a turtle in my bedroom and built a custom condo for my pythons; I'd say 'like' is an understatement)
If you think that Uther Pendragon would accuse a rock of sorcery if he tripped on it, paste this on your profile. (I have a feeling that Uther would not get along well with The Doctor...)
If you are hardcore obsessed with a show, movie, or book, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Legend of Zelda, Person of Interest...)
If you've ever tripped over air, copy and paste this onto your profile. (I'm not clumsy! The floor just needed a hug!)
If you've ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste onto your profile. (The stairs were lonely. They needed a hug, too.)
If you want your favorite fictional characters to exist, copy and paste this onto your profile. (I really wish I could meet Lionel Fusco. XD)
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile.
If deviantART and FanFiction.net are to you is what Facebook and Twitter are to other people, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading, writing, or a combination of both... copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes or more, place this on your profile.
If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you're still reading this insanely long profile, you ROCK! Show the world I approve and put this on your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile. (DALEKS!)
If you have too many of these things, then copy and paste this into your profile...to add another one!
Lots of people don't know what Asperger's Syndrome is. If you know what it is, have it, or know someone who has it, copy and paste this on your profile. (I have it, my dad has it, and my sister has it...)
If you've ever lost someone you love, copy and paste this on your profile.
Most teenagers today complain about how fat they are. If you're happy with your body and don't flip out if you eat something with more than 200 calories, then post this in your profile. (Gimme more chocolate!)
I hate pop-ups. If you hate all the ads popping up while you're trying to read some story, copy this into your profile.
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb-war with yourself. So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
If you get all giddy when you see a trailer for your favorite TV show/movie on TV, copy and paste this onto your profile. (I totally flipped out when I saw the trailer for How To Train Your Dragon 2)
If you can easily write three or more full-length story chapters in one day, put this on your profile.
If you are American but like Merlin and Doctor Who, put this on your profile.
If you are terrified of gas masks, copy this into your profile.
If your favorite words are fantastic, allons-y, and geronimo, put this in your profile.
If you know what a paradox is, copy and paste this.
If you hate Rose Tyler haters, put this into your profile.
If your favorite characters are the ones that no one ever talks about, like that unnamed gate guard or the soldier who was shot on the battlefield, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever created your own copy-and-paste things to put into your own profile...copy and paste this into your profile.
If you like swing music and swing dancing, copy and paste this.
If you are irrationally terrified of the word 'mummy,' put this in your profile.
If Nine(Christopher Eccleston) was your first Doctor and remains your favorite Doctor out of all twelve, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a dedicated herper, and know what that word means, put this into your profile.
If you love snakes and lizards more than cats and dogs, copy and paste this.
If you get paranoid whenever you see a stone statue, put this into your profile.
Copy and paste this into your profile if you have killed off a main character in a story. (The list of characters I have killed is growing...oh no...)
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