Author has written 12 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and Hunger Games.
Hey my name is NessaMei and if you're reading my profile, I think you are amazing. Here are some weird facts about me:
-My mom is from Brazil, my dad is from Panama, I live in the USA, and I'm Asian. (No, I'm not adopted.)
-I just got off therapy. (For my mind, I didn't get in some accident or get disabled or anything.)
-I used to stalk my archnemesis and now he's deathly scared of me.
-I wasn't too scared to hook up with guys behind my mom's back, but I'm too scared to cross the street alone.
Now don't go away thinking I'm crazy! I'm OFF therapy for a reason. Now, either continue reading my profile or check out my stories. If you want to coauthor with me, don't be afraid to ask. Here are some of my hobbies:
-Trying to use the Force to do my homework
-Playing piano and violin
Last, here are some not weird facts about me:
-My name is Vanessa Lau
-I'm 13 years old
-I'm in 8th grade
-I live in Miami, Florida
And that's about it. Now continue reading my profile for some things you might actually care about:
If You Live In America, you post this
Why America has some Issues (Yes I live there, but tough. These are clever)
1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'
10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
7 Reasons Not to Mess with Children (small children)
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
Paste this in your profile if you used to try to make spiders bite you so you can develop super powers.
Paste this in your profile if you ever stalked someone.
Paste this in your profile if you've ever had a therapist.
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