Author has written 2 stories for Mass Effect, and Kung Fu Panda.
Hello again- just a brief reminder- this account is still being deleted and if you want to grab these stories before the delete, I'd do so now if I were you.
This account will be removed at some point after Christmas, possibly at the start of New Years. I will post one more time as a last chance warning.
Thank you again.
UPDATE: 19/08/2014- This fanfiction account is to be deleted by myself in the near future, so if any of you fans would wish to copy and paste my stories, now is the time to do so.
If any of you wish to repost the stories on your account, please credit me as the original author when you do so. Or don't, and get your arse kicked by bad karma. JK, but seriously, do.
I have to free up some data on my laptop and seeing as I am no longer writing fanfiction, I have come to decide that it would be best for me to delete this account and the stories that were on it. As I also said before, I will not be writing any more stories. I am moving on with my life and going through a lot of big processes in my life, and therefore I will have no room to commit fully to writing.
Even so, if I had time to write, as I discussed in my previous update, I would rather not. Writing requires the capacity of the writer to delve deeply into their own mind and soul, and often in dark places within themselves that they would rather heal and move on from in their life, rather than pick at it like a wound susceptible to infection. I want to be happy, and writing has prevented me from doing so. I am also not very artistically or creatively gifted and have come to the conclusion that I was not meant to be a serious story writer.
Know however that I will always love reading fanfiction, and will most likely be reviewing anonymously the stories I enjoy. I may be easily entertained but I know a good fanfic when I see it. I do know that I enjoy giving positive reviews and making other writers happy- not as a suck-up mind you- but as a genuine and good gesture that encourages the best in everyone I see and meet. I may even offer tips and advice. It may not be helpful but I'll be as gentle as I can, because I know how annoying a critical review can be.
I will let you know and give a last warning when I will be deleting the stories, so grab em while you can :)
ATTENTION FANFICTION READERS- As of 28/11/2012, this account will no longer be putting out new stories or add new chapters to current stories.
What's up my name is Defiant Candle. I am 19 years old and a guy.
Just putting this up to make some notifications-
My Kung Fu Panda Drabble and Shen, Tai Lung and Wolf Boss redemption story has been handed over to Synchronised-Harmony to continue, due to uni life and the fact the I have decided to stop fanfiction writing. A very unpopular decision to many of my fans I'm sure, but in truth I am not the creative sort and writing has a way of messing me up for some reason- probably bi-polar- that draining feeling I get when I've been creative. Its not been good for me socially and is a distraction from work and other important things. Even if my work is good, I went to quite a few dark places just to maintain the story.
I believe I have mild Aspergers Syndrome with ADD (attention-deficit disorder). It means that while I'm pretty skilled in some academic areas- reading and writing, analysing, organising and categorising- it makes me socially stupid, to put it blunt. Its like having the mind of an old guy mixed with that of a boy- kind of giving me the mind of a 14 year old. I have had other difficulties in the past like obsessional tendencies, slowness in work and needing help, struggling to process information- very frustrating at times- repetitive behaviours and thought patterns , limited interests, over-to-hypersensitivity, and a tendency to dwell on the negative.
I took to writing because of my obsessively passionate interests in the solitary pursuits I had, mainly video gaming. Being the Master Chief or Commander Shepard, the one person everyone could rely on to save the day, beat the bad guy and rescue the universe from untold destruction- the desire to be successful would get to me and I would turn to these sorts of things for escapism and to help my self-esteem. Plus I could shoot shit and feel like a badass lol :)
Ironically when I was socially isolated I learnt how to be a good person. I know, I sound like I'm selling myself here- but bear with- being mildly autistic the struggle to fit in socially was immense. I could talk to older people and mature adults no problem and with younger people who shared my sense of fun, but never with people my age. So I was left with few friends and plenty of books and video games to immerse myself in. Geek mode activate.
The halo stories were my first fanfiction because I was so in love with the Halo universe and the characters that I wanted to write my own stories. Naively I thought I could send my story to Bungie and they would accept my story and make it into a movie. Of course I was turned away, and looking at it now I can see how it would have failed. My version of Master Chief was very OOC and the whole storyline itself was something off a star wars prequel/manga mash-up story, with special powers, cheesy lines and characters and cliched parts to it. The Chief?- I don't wanna talk about it- basically a cliched gary stew with a romantic side, melancholy and in my words, 'spiritually gifted' with potential to become a Jedi/Super-Saiyan/Knight of Legend kind of soldier. Yep, that bad- glad I didn't write it.
(WARNING: MASS EFFECT CENTRED RANT-SKIP NEXT SEVEN PARAGRAPHS IF YOU WANT TO AVOID SPOILERS OR ARE NOT A MASS EFFECT FAN!)
The Mass Effect Stories were mainly because of my, excitement to put out a Tali/Male Shep romance fanfic. What can I say? Obsessively passionate. Plus I had a big crush/infatuation with Tali. In fact when I fell for her, I replayed the whole first game all over again so I had no other romances to feel guilty about when getting together with her. I'll be completely honest. I went for Liara at first mostly because I found her well, attractive- I was much younger then- and I recall falling for Tali because I stupidly thought that she was Liara under the suit!!! The second time (when I decided to go for Tali) I accidentally ended up getting with Ashley - facepalm- guess thats what happens when you keep talking to her and going Paragon all the time- So, third playthrough later and shazam, no previous romances to feel guilty over when romancing Tali.
Even now I'm not sure if I really did fall in love with her, or if I just caught up with the hype of Youtube and Fanfiction making her into a cute innocent angel with a naughty side to her. I mean, she doesn't really do that much- just says I've liked you since the first game and then says I will research stuff and then sleep with you- sorry for younger readers out there- Theres not a lot of romantic chemistry between them, which I guess I can see why most people go for Miranda or Liara, simply because the games appear to reward you more for it. If the game included a bit more intensity to the romance, particularly in Mass Effect 3- I don't know, whatever there was between Shep and Tali in 3, I didn't see it. In 2, it was like Hey I like you, Hey I like you too- lets get it on- and after some time in the sack (too short a scene if you ask me- sorry again younger viewers) its like hey that was fun now lets leave it like that and I call you up every now and then for cuddles. It was ok, with the whole help Tali with her trial and comfort her after she finds her father dead, but there could have been more to it, you know what I mean? I see what the other fanfics do with the whole back from the dead epic saga romance reunion on Freedom's Progress and Shep and Tali hooking up earlier in the game, and the whole teenage love story- does she like me- does he like me etc stories just to sweeten the relationship, but to me that just makes the whole Tali romance thing to me sadder.
Now I'm not saying that Tali is not a popular romance option, just that the games seem to make her romance story like a side-quest rather than achieving something beautiful in a relationship with someone you deeply care about.
ME3 fans, hear me out when I say that the game seemed to just want me to get with Liara or Ashley instead of be patient and wait for Tali until three quarters of the way through the game to be given a too short cut to black intimate scene and a cheaply photoshopped photo of her face, while the producers could have just put her animated face in the game! In a cutscene for goodness sake!- DISAPPOINTED!!!!- again sorry younger readers. Doesn't it feel that way for Garrus, Jack, Thane, Jacob, and Kelly fans as well?- with exceptions of course- just a dancing scene with Jack, and Jacob leaves Fem Shep for someone else between 2 and 3- burn, and Thane getting killed by Kai Leng just like that- double burn. The Miranda, Liara, Ashley and Kaiden romancers get all the luck and attention- too biased to one group for you to romance- so much for making this game an RPG, Bioware.
So yeah, my love story eventually turned into one very bad and cheesy series of fanfictions about the drama of Shepards return from the dead, his unspoken feelings for Tali and Gary Stewiness aplenty, with not very 1st person writing and sticking to male character viewpoints only. Plus the hero 'COMMANDER ZACHARY SHEPARD!!' (tumbleweed) was essentially a copy of me, a hormonal, impulsive, somewhat unstable-(waking from 2 year slumber and essentially an animal that just wanted to kill everything until he meets Tali again on Freedom's Progress) cheesy and goofy version of Shepard, with the mental age of a teenager instead of a thirty something mature war veteran commander. Self-insert everywhere! Except the unstable part- unless you count a massive bitching fest about why no one liked my fanfictions in the final chapter in an especially cheesy fanfiction about Shepard saving Tali on Haestrom. That was a result of my bitterness, an attitude problem and desperate need for attention by throwing a pity party. Quite possibly the most unpopular thing I have ever done on this website, if not in my entire life.
So after a guilt trip and a serious reprimanding from a fanfiction author who I admired, I felt the desire to completely turn evil and make an alternate storyline with an EVIL COMMANDER ZACHARY SHEPARD! (tumbleweed again) WITH BIOTIC POWERS, MORE GARY STEWINESS, AND FOR SOME REASON ALSO HAS A CRUSH ON TALI!! (tumbleweed and massive rolling of eyes and groaning everywhere)
Basically an evil Anakin Skywalker, Angellus (Buffy Reference) and Dark Starkiller- with force choking abilities, completely relentless and unregrettably evil and sadistic, with a big emo side for Tali to take pity on and something for her to appeal to his good side. He plays the piano, shacks up with a load of women, is a complete bastard who likes to execute people with style and yet for some reason is in love with Tali. I wanted to make a story centred around an angel falling for a demon, or a sinful man and see where it went. Later I decided it would be tragic and then got lazy and killed everyone off in the Collector Base Attack and surprise surprise, Evil Shep and Tali get together before the attack, in one really messed-up love scene involving force-chokes andTali telling an evil SOB that she loves him, even if he is evil and is practically a monster and believe there is still good in him, and him telling her he loves her too. With absolutely no logic or reasoning at all. I know love can be blind but seriously, a bad romance fic. Didn't do much good for me either.
On the flip side I introduced a sequel involving Legion as the protagonist for Mass Effect 3 who groups together a band of some of the othe popular Mass Effect Characters to fight the Reapers, and then later a Reaperised Version of Evil Shepard. He gets a staff and owns people :D
I did decide to make a Mass Effect 3 story with fellow fanfic writers starring as their own characters, but got cold feet when the story got cliched and terrible with a lot of OOCs and cheesy bad guys- ripping off Star Wars, Transformers, and possibly Naruto or some other angsty manga- Dragon Age- with sword fights, emo stuff, over-dramatic-ness and just generally crap storylines.
The Kung Fu Panda Drabble was my attempt for a fresh start after my botched Mass Effect fanfic attempts. And I went straight for the bad guys. I was a fan of Shen's stories and Shen himself because I emphasised with his self-loathing, regret and feeling of weakness and inferiority- being an asthmatic and hay-fever sufferer and with poor social skills I could somewhat relate. Tai Lung was simply rage which I unhealthily delved in as part of my dark side of hating everything and being frustrated and angry.
Not surprisingly I did better with this fanfic than any other work I did, mostly because it was easier to imagine and write.
So I wrote a story of Shen with depressing flashbacks and a lot of darkness- no surprise there- and then decided that enough was enough. I kept putting myself in dark places and making myself miserable with my writing and it had to stop for good.
I ended the story with a brief summary and left it at that. And so ended my fanfic career.
Up until now I haven't written anymore stuff. Recently I was asked by Synchronised Harmony if he could continue my story. So after some thinking I have decided to give my KFP drabble to Synchronised-Harmony to continue on his own.
Sorry to have just fed you a depressing story. Just what happens when someone like me tries to be creative and copy other writers.
Writing is no longer my thing. I've decided that now. I live my own life now and no longer hide. I'm accepted now with friends and no longer feel disconnected from everything or anyone.
I'm not perfect, but I know what I want, and know that I can be better. For everyone I care about, and myself.
I say God bless to those of you who are in a dark spot in your life. Don't be afraid. Be with the people you love, family, pets, friends- anyone who can help. You are not alone- Good things will come along. Never hide- exercise, try new things, hang out with friends, even if its on Tumblr or Youtube or Twitter or Fanfics- Don't turn to the dark side. It will only bring you pain. Listen to critics and never be afraid to ask for help once in a while. Be kind and compassionate. Be brave and strong. Be supportive and find humour in everything. Be a person of light, and treat others how you wish to be treated. Help others and they will help you.
Let yourself be responsible for your happiness. Live life.
(And after that Trainspotting tangent, I wish to say adieu. This account will remain open for Synchronised-Harmony to ask for tips, but I will also be online to read other great stuff you guys recommend or put up.)
See you guys around. Defiant Candle signing out.
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