Hi Pot And News
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Joined 08-25-11, id: 3195987, Profile Updated: 01-13-15
Author has written 9 stories for Harry Potter, Twilight, Lord of the Rings, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and Addams Family.

Call me Noose. I'm a stickler for spelling, punctuation, and all those other hoity-toity things. If I review your story, it's either to praise you to high heavens or give you blunt criticism. I like like the smell of honeysuckle and jack-fruit, the squishy feel of sinking into sand, blowing bubbles, the smell of burning paper, and hedgehog-shaped pencil-sharpeners.

I'm the sort of person that loves something and then try to make it better; this is why I do fanfiction, I love the original story so much, I'll sit and think of all the ways it could be made even more interesting to me. I do this for fanfics by other authors as well. I don't appreciate being accused of plagarism, especially when I have it clearly stated that my stories are based off other fics and WILL contain recognizable content. It's stated clearly in the summaries and the disclaimers as well; it is NOT my fault if you are apparently too illiterate to even understand a story blurb.

That being said, if the fact that I'm ficcing another fic is so abhorrent to you, just send me a PM – that's right, grow a pair and let me know who you are – and I will remove whichever story it is that is just too offensive to exist on the Internet personally. No need to go tattling to the Admins. I have other things to do than to put up with hipsters that are so into their originals – poor grammar and strange story flow included – that they can't give a girl trying to make it easier to read a little appreciation.


Let's just get that out in the open right now. I've gotten comments about being concerned that my stories will turn out as slash/femslash or that they should. Do not fear and sorry to disappoint but any relationships that take centre stage will be het. I like reading slash myself but I don't write it.

I have no problems with same-gender relationships, I just don't write about them because I know I won't get how they actually work correct. I know that who's top/bottom doesn't always stay the same and that there's no 'wo/man' in the relationships, but I'm not going to write about something that should be realistic like a relationship when I have no practical experience with it myself. I'm an asexual female that's dated one guy for maybe a year before deciding that I didn't care for being with anyone; I don't understand romantic attachment, especially from a different gender's point of view. I am literally not physically capable.

"Why do you make Harry a girl if you won't put her in a relationship?"

This is more of what I was talking about practical experience. I'm a girl; I know how girls think and behave. The beauty of Rowling's characterisation of Harry Potter is that he could easily be turned into a girl with only a few small changes. The only parts where Harry's distinctly male is when he's dealing with crushes on girls, and even then it's like he's just going through the motions; he could easily homosexual. Because I prefer writing from a female point of view, Harry changes into a girl for the sake of convenience.

Unless my story starts out with him initially being a boy, Harry being a girl is not a plot device. I don't want to get any more comments telling me that unless I stick Harry with a guy or have her do something exclusively female, my making Harry a girl is pointless. How many stories are out there with Harry having his name changed to something like Hadrian, or more lordships than he has fingers and toes to count on and the story has nothing to do with those things? Don't give me any crap just because I don't cling to gender-identity like you do.

I have a yahoo group if you want to check out plot-bunnies and a rather long spell list. Search for Hi_News.

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Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus by The Carnivorous Muffin reviews
Lily is not quite a normal little girl. The Dursleys always say she's a freak just like her freakish parents, her uncle Death seems to be convinced she's the grim reaper, and her ever political and invisible best friend Wizard Lenin just thinks she should take over the world. On top of all that the secret society of wizards think she's Jesus. AU female!Harry among other things.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 31 - Words: 179,187 - Reviews: 2318 - Favs: 3,085 - Follows: 3,217 - Updated: 7/22 - Published: 12/8/2013 - [Harry P., Tom R. Jr.]
The Merging by Shaydrall reviews
The Dementor attack on Harry leaves him kissed with his wand broken in an alleyway. Days later he awakens, magic flaring uncontrollably, his soul seemingly still in one piece. But is it? With no understanding of what has happened to him, what else can he do but keep moving forwards, forced by a fate he never wanted, fighting for a life he never got to live. And fight he will.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 363,144 - Reviews: 2491 - Favs: 5,209 - Follows: 6,125 - Updated: 7/3 - Published: 9/27/2013 - Harry P.
Drifting by AlphaDelta1001 reviews
Naruto is many things; troublesome, wild, unpredictable, adventurous, untamable, unique. But there's a benefit to being wild and unpredictable; no one has the faintest idea what you're going to do next. NarutoHarem
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 1,093,850 - Reviews: 5386 - Favs: 5,564 - Follows: 5,065 - Updated: 7/1 - Published: 12/25/2012 - Naruto U.
The Shapeshifter and the King by keldoll reviews
Caius comes across a shifter, he wants her. What is her past? Will she ever show him her true self? Will they ever be more than just Master and pet? Rated M for later chapters.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,543 - Reviews: 254 - Favs: 388 - Follows: 538 - Updated: 5/19 - Published: 6/15/2011 - Bella, Caius
With Wings of Feathers and Glue by slexenskee reviews
For his safety, sixth year Harry Potter must live abroad while attending Hogwarts. There, lonely and out of place, he meets Alice Cullen, and inevitably, Edward Cullen as well. HPEC
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 77,969 - Reviews: 728 - Favs: 1,368 - Follows: 1,914 - Updated: 5/13 - Published: 8/19/2009 - Harry P., Edward
Break the Sky by Liffae reviews
One lesson Uzumaki Naruto taught the world was that glass ceilings are fragile, and limits are only for the fools who believe in them.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 40,956 - Reviews: 287 - Favs: 1,003 - Follows: 1,154 - Updated: 2/24 - Published: 8/25/2012 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Sakura H., Kakashi H.
Viva La Vida by Tiki Rane Gobell reviews
Tom Riddle was secure in his own little world he had built for himself: a secret dark lord that was ruler of magical Great Britain. He had everything he ever wanted...until Harry Potter came into his life. LV(TR)/HP
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 18,607 - Reviews: 253 - Favs: 871 - Follows: 860 - Updated: 1/27 - Published: 12/16/2013 - Harry P., Voldemort, Tom R. Jr. - Complete
The Wrath of a Woman Scorned by EDelta88 reviews
A Hidden Village is not a safe place for a little girl if nobody comes when she screams. One night the villagers went too far and now Konoha shall reap what it has sown. Dark!Fem!Naru Pairings: Decided but secret
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 33,263 - Reviews: 671 - Favs: 1,835 - Follows: 1,994 - Updated: 1/1 - Published: 10/21/2009 - Naruko U.
Adrift in a World by Miss Whiskers reviews
Harry Potter is thrown into an alternate universe due to archaic rules of magic. Hiding under the alias of Chris Collins, he tries to find a place among the suspicion of those he knew and some he never did, as Voldemort's power grows.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 24 - Words: 172,757 - Reviews: 3554 - Favs: 4,623 - Follows: 5,074 - Updated: 12/30/2014 - Published: 6/12/2006 - Harry P.
Abyssus Abyssum Invocat by Sin Maxwell and Co reviews
To save the life of the man he loves, Harry Potter called out in the name of something unholy. Now he reaps the dreadful consequences. But what if he could turn the tide in his favor? Will his new master allow it or will he be subjugated forever? Slash! SM/HP.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Kuroshitsuji - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 70,236 - Reviews: 303 - Favs: 611 - Follows: 380 - Updated: 7/28/2014 - Published: 5/24/2014 - Complete
Firefly by Reinamy's Cloud reviews
In which Aburame Shino is the moth and Uzumaki Naruto is the flame. Female!Naruto.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 39,649 - Reviews: 167 - Favs: 838 - Follows: 292 - Updated: 7/13/2014 - Published: 6/27/2014 - [Shino A., Naruko U.] Naruto U. - Complete
Wand Cores by Lydia-kitten reviews
Harry Potter, weathered wizarding warrior in his mid-twenties, finds himself in 1940. Albus is coming up with a theory, and an adolescent Tom Riddle, torn between feeling threatened and piqued, acquires a controversial mentor. Hallows, spell-making, horror, politics and witty banter, served with a Grindledore sidedish. Slow and slightly disturbing TR/HP. First chapters re-polished.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 49 - Words: 241,168 - Reviews: 1890 - Favs: 2,313 - Follows: 2,457 - Updated: 7/7/2014 - Published: 7/16/2010 - Harry P., Albus D., Tom R. Jr., Gellert G.
Poisonous Kiss by enchanted nightingale reviews
When Harry frees Dobby, Lucius scares the house elf and the Savior is left alone with Lucius Malfoy in an encounter with unforeseen results. HP/LM. SLASH. Harry is underage.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 45 - Words: 102,970 - Reviews: 2293 - Favs: 2,972 - Follows: 3,460 - Updated: 8/26/2013 - Published: 5/27/2009 - Lucius M., Harry P.
In the Mind of a Scientist by ZenoNoKyuubi reviews
Harry Potter wasn't raised like in canon. He was top of his class, and very intelligent, always seeking to improve things, and so he learned all kinds of things, and, upon entering Hogwarts, started studying all he could get his hands on! Intelligent!Super!Harry Later Mad Scientist!Harry Rated M for Language, Nudity, and Gore Stein-ish Harry Genres: Humor/Romance/slight Horror
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 82,520 - Reviews: 1849 - Favs: 4,664 - Follows: 2,564 - Updated: 5/4/2013 - Published: 9/23/2012 - Harry P., N. Tonks - Complete
The God of Dragons by RuRuLaLa reviews
Charlie Weasley starts a cult. He regrets it immensely. Meanwhile, Harry has a little girl time with his dragon lady friends. Side story to 'Oh You didn't Know? Yeah He's Awesome'. Gift fic for my 100th reviewer RRW.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,599 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 37 - Published: 3/25/2013 - Harry P., Ron W., Charlie W. - Complete
How Troublesome by Rumer Hasit reviews
Shikamaru's life was going fine; he avoided going on missions and Ino, smoked a lot, and watched clouds. Now, he's discovered Naruto's biggest secret, is being forced to go on a mission, and life has gotten a whole lot more complicated. How troublesome...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 94,353 - Reviews: 606 - Favs: 1,109 - Follows: 1,082 - Updated: 7/15/2012 - Published: 1/29/2011 - Naruto U., Shikamaru N.
A Snake Named Voldemort by estalita11 reviews
COMPLETE After being turned into a snake and unable to change back, Lord Voldemort is forced to turn to the only other living Parselmouth, Harry Potter. After making a deal, Harry agrees to help the Dark Lord return to his human form. SLASH HP/LVTMR
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 185,074 - Reviews: 2899 - Favs: 5,794 - Follows: 3,083 - Updated: 6/25/2012 - Published: 4/30/2011 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Black Vengeance by Teufel1987 reviews
AU Third Year: He spent twelve years in hell for a crime he did not commit. Sent there without the courtesy of a trial. Betrayed by his friends and allies. Now he has broken out. He will find and catch that rat and then, they will pay!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 80,433 - Reviews: 349 - Favs: 1,279 - Follows: 577 - Updated: 6/6/2012 - Published: 8/5/2011 - Sirius B., Harry P. - Complete
Death of Today by Epic Solemnity reviews
COMPLETE LV/HP: Raised in a Muggle orphanage, Harry arrives at Hogwarts a bitter boy. Unusually intelligent, he's recruited by the Unspeakables and the Death Eaters at a young age. As he grows older, he constantly has to struggle to keep his footing around a manipulative and bored Dark Lord, who fancies mind games and intellectual entertainment. (Currently being re-edited.)
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 71 - Words: 500,882 - Reviews: 7849 - Favs: 6,100 - Follows: 3,262 - Updated: 6/6/2011 - Published: 9/26/2009 - Voldemort, Harry P. - Complete
The Scars of Human Nature by yaoigirl22 reviews
When he was left with his family, they disappeared. Now thirteen years later the wizarding world, both Dark and Light are in for a shock. Meet It. Edited:02/07/2012
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 22 - Words: 26,628 - Reviews: 400 - Favs: 1,251 - Follows: 545 - Updated: 1/21/2011 - Published: 12/5/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
The Downers by NotYourBestFriend reviews
Bella Swan is a rebel. Edward Masen is a loser. Charlie Swan is a mailman and Elizabeth Masen is a socialite. When you mix them all together, you get one not so happy family. But Edward and Bella aren't just step siblings. Lifes too hard to be that easy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 22 - Words: 72,892 - Reviews: 323 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 173 - Updated: 12/29/2010 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Bella, Edward
Gryffindors Never Die by ChipmonkOnSpeed reviews
Harry and Ron, both 58 and both alcoholics, are sent back to their 4th year and given a chance to do everything again. Will they be able to do it right this time? Or will history repeat itself? Cannon to Epilogue, then not so much...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 74,394 - Reviews: 562 - Favs: 2,118 - Follows: 587 - Updated: 12/29/2010 - Published: 11/4/2010 - Harry P., Ron W. - Complete
Shut Up and Kiss Me! by slytherin-nette reviews
In the middle of all their silly fighting and childish rivalry, there was only one very simple solution that always seemed to bring Draco Malfoy and Harriet Potter back together. DM/femHP. SongFic - Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,212 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 397 - Follows: 83 - Published: 5/29/2010 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
SnakeHead by Tangerine Catnip reviews
Alex is in the African jungle on his first assigned kill for scorpia accompanied by his instructor Yassen Gregorovich when one of the local snakes decides that Alex’s crotch would be a nice place to take a nap. Fluffy PWP one-shot Alex/Yassen
Alex Rider - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,569 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 253 - Follows: 52 - Published: 3/25/2010 - Alex R./Cub, Yassen G. - Complete
How Will You Kiss by Nia River reviews
COMPLETE. Casting off his haze of grief over his godfather's demise, Harry Potter decides it's time to take action. He won't be alone; Mad-Eye Moody, Emmeline Vance, Tonks and Bill Weasley will be there to help. Not to mention the entire DA. Harry/Bill.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 44,665 - Reviews: 388 - Favs: 1,537 - Follows: 394 - Updated: 2/27/2010 - Published: 11/8/2009 - [Harry P., Bill W.] - Complete
Like a Concussion by Araceil reviews
For the lols. Slash. After the War Harry ended up hunted by Vamps. Can he ever get a break? Apparently not when he ends up in Forks and dragged kicking and screaming to school for the first time in over a decade.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,349 - Reviews: 551 - Favs: 2,744 - Follows: 492 - Published: 10/22/2009 - Harry P., Edward - Complete
Issues by Aisling-Siobhan reviews
Alex has issues. Not surprising considering the extent to which his life has changed in such a short amount of time but that’s not what he has a problem with. Nor does he have a problem with his feelings but who he feels them for: Yassen Gregorovich Slash
Alex Rider - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,947 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 317 - Follows: 44 - Published: 2/18/2009 - Alex R./Cub, Yassen G. - Complete
Incorrigible Infatuation by RestartingInsanity reviews
AU: SLASH: How it started? One day Harry was in panic and the next delirium struck and there he was lying underneath a cruel-hearted Slytherin. He wasn't the most appealing but what was it that made Harry fall? Marcus Flint/Harry - COMPLETE -
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 68,303 - Reviews: 1426 - Favs: 3,851 - Follows: 928 - Updated: 1/25/2009 - Published: 12/27/2008 - Harry P., Marcus F. - Complete
The Dispossession of Echizen Ryoma by Sinnatious reviews
When Ryoma finds himself in a tough situation, his pride might keep him swimming, but it’s Tezuka who keeps his head above water.
Prince of Tennis - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 28 - Words: 83,152 - Reviews: 384 - Favs: 901 - Follows: 201 - Updated: 5/8/2008 - Published: 4/23/2008 - E. Ryoma, Tezuka K. - Complete
The Hyuuga Swap by uberneko-zero reviews
Naruto is in a brand new relationship with Hinata. But when he meets her cousin Neji, he finds himself inexplicably preoccupied with the dark haired boy, despite his prickly personality. AU yaoi
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 52,823 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 264 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 5/3/2008 - Published: 12/30/2007 - Naruto U., Neji H. - Complete
A Black Comedy by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. Two years after defeating Voldemort, Harry falls into an alternate dimension with his godfather. Together, they embark on a new life filled with drunken debauchery, thievery, and generally antagonizing all their old family, friends, and enemies.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 31 - Words: 246,320 - Reviews: 5379 - Favs: 10,056 - Follows: 3,028 - Updated: 4/7/2008 - Published: 2/18/2007 - Complete
It's Tradition by Justice-hime reviews
Tradition, a time honoured practice or set of such practices. Naruto is learning that there are just some traditions that cannot be broken. SasuNaru COMPLETE
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 22,916 - Reviews: 402 - Favs: 1,041 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 5/26/2005 - Published: 2/21/2005 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Black Wizard reviews
Fanfic of Azraeos's original fic. Fem!Harry. Harry, through the selection of the Valar, is plucked from her home world and dropped in Middle Earth to complete a task that will ultimately help the Fellowship save Middle Earth. Starts post Fifth year and near the beginning of The Fellowship of the Ring movie.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 20 - Words: 174,950 - Reviews: 684 - Favs: 1,562 - Follows: 2,044 - Updated: 6/17 - Published: 1/26/2014 - Harry P., Gandalf, Boromir
Godling Ascending reviews
Response to DZ2's 'Harry, the Twice-Blessed Half-blood' challenge. Fem!Harry. There's back-story in the beginning but the main story's post-Hogwarts. Herakles Potter knew she was odd. Exactly how odd turned out to be far odder than she originally thought.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 70,798 - Reviews: 239 - Favs: 914 - Follows: 1,105 - Updated: 5/18 - Published: 2/5 - Harry P.
This Isn't Even My Final Form reviews
AU from 3rd book on. Fem!Harry. It was an accident! A tumble with an unknown potion grants Harry consequences no one could have expected. Dealing as well as she can, Harry re-acquaints herself with the person behind the image of the Boy Who Lived.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,533 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 330 - Follows: 411 - Updated: 5/1 - Published: 1/13 - Harry P.
The Price is Right reviews
AU Harry is more money-conscious when he arrives at Gringotts with Hagrid. He's not going to let the wonder of magic take away his common sense and if he can get a good deal, he's going to take it. Point of deviation: Harry's primary school taught Home Economics.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 52,285 - Reviews: 747 - Favs: 2,817 - Follows: 2,743 - Updated: 4/30 - Published: 12/2/2013 - Harry P., Dean T., Justin F., Morag M. - Complete
Scream and Shout reviews
AU. Don't-give-an-eff!Fem!Harry. Starts during OOTP. Marie's been having a frustrating summer, a frustration that she tries to relieve in perhaps not the most sensible way. But she doesn't care. She's tired of caring. Screw being the hero for those fickle people, Marie was going to take care of number one.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 48,628 - Reviews: 219 - Favs: 739 - Follows: 930 - Updated: 4/30 - Published: 5/1/2014 - Harry P.
Picture Perfect reviews
AU. Fem!Harry. James Potter was not an only child, he had an older brother from his father's first marriage. Leonardo Potter married an ambitious woman, one that's willing to do just about anything to get what she wants; what she wanted was a daughter.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 23,390 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 216 - Published: 4/23 - Harry P., Fleur D., Justin F.
The Corpse Swallower reviews
Fanfic of kyaru-chan's Harveste series. An unusual introduction after the mother of all temper tantrums leads to Harry gaining an unorthodox upbringing. Keep your appendages to yourself or you might get them bitten off.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Addams Family - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,720 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 213 - Follows: 233 - Published: 4/23
Bellamy the Beautiful reviews
AU Male!Bella. Slighty cracky. Bellamy wasn't sure what the ginger's problem was but he wasn't going to let some broody douche get him down. So Bellamy had accidentally stabbed him in the thigh, so what? It wasn't like it was on purpose and the guy had been making a face that was plain asking for it. He was just sulking that he wasn't as spicy as Emmett.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,042 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 240 - Updated: 12/17/2014 - Published: 12/12/2014 - Angela, Bella, Charlie S., Edward
The Sea-Witch reviews
AU. Fem!Harry. OC!BWL Starts GoF. Inspired by Disney's Little Mermaid. Alex Potter discovers a most unexpected relative. With cunning, fast-thinking, and plain old Potter luck, they deal with the resurrection of the Dark Lord in the way only two Potters can.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,968 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 49 - Published: 5/18/2014 - Harry P., Neville L., Tom R. Jr., OC