Vampiress01
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Joined 12-27-00, id: 32023
Author has written 16 stories for Redwall, Harry Potter, Book X-overs, and Fanfiction Poetry.
Hi! I'm nearly in college so I'm thinking perhaps I'm a bit to old for this fanfic stuff, but heaven help me it is so addicting! I will, perhaps, actually be updating some this summer (as in 2004), yes I know--gasp!

I will beta-read, proof-read, give HTML help. If you ask nicely. I will not provide slave labor, democratic propoganda (or anyother type of propoganda for that matter), or free strawberry lollies. I will not turn anymore people into vampires either. They made me stop. *tear* Anna was 'The Last Vampire' so to speak. Maybe Fenris will make you a werewolf if you ask nicely. Maybe. Or maybe Fenris will rip you to shreds.

Like most people here I want to write when I grow up. But I have a low self-esteem (and good grammar, for the most part) so I want to be an editor, actually. Preferably for fiction. If not I will be hiding in my cellar with a dagger (not a shotgun, that'd be too cliche) waiting for 'them' to come for me.

*Please not that I've delted a lot of my old fics, especially the poems because they did not comply to ff.net rules and I didn't want my account deleted.*

Fics Last Updated 2/2/03

Eventually I will be finishing/updating How Harry Met Sally, Erm, Lily and A Chain of Iron Thorns. Haven't been updating these much because I hate the former, and love the latter, though it's extremely hard to write. (I find it easier to write backwards, which means the next chronological chapter won't be done for a bit.)
Emmy and I have also co-authored some stories under the pen name Leopard Guitar if you'd like to read those.

Just one last thing, please. As I re-read some of my fics today I was astounded. Some of them were so good I didn't believe I was the one who wrote them, meanwhile others were so awful I wished I hadn't written them. I think I've grown a lot as an author in my years here. So please, if you come along a bad fic consider the fact that I started off as a [very] mediocre author.

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A Toadlicker, a Goth, and a Momma's Boy by Hogwarts Hos reviews
(Complete) The story of the three original death eaters. Horrors in Banana Republic, lack of donuts, and the quest for babes are just a few of the mishaps Tom, Severus, and Lucius get into.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 27,870 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/3/2003 - Published: 7/3/2001 - Complete
When Snape Met Barbie by Sihaya reviews
Ginny's Barbie doll comes alive and there is some unlikely matchmaking-please no flames, i KNOW it's stupid!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 521 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 4 - Published: 1/25/2002 - Harry P., Severus S.
The Art of Subtext by D.M.P reviews
Sequel to The Art of Mental Shifting. Sirius comes to Hogwarts in search of a cure to Remus' hypnosis condition and some... assumptions... are made. Strongly rated PG-13 for much implied naughtiness.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,520 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 3/16/2001 - Published: 12/22/2000 - Sirius B., Remus L.
The Jerry Springer Show by Evil Emmy reviews
Harry, Sirius, Snape, Hermione, Fudge, ect. all on the J.S.Show!!!!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,520 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/12/2001
It Wasn't Me by Shaggy Filk by Arabella Black reviews
See below
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,824 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/5/2001
The day I Killed by Si blackie reviews
This is horribly weird. I'd sort of call this a m/m slash.R/R
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,106 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/20/2000
Sirius Black (the whole story) by Evil Emmy reviews
Read this if you looooooooooooooooove Sirius as much as I do!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 83 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 6 - Published: 11/2/2000
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When Harry met Sally, erm, Lily reviews
Harry, the talking pie and his killer robot driving instructore travel back in time for some reason! NOT! Ahem, somehow the 3Hs get warped back in time and Harry comes face to face with his parents. Chp1 sux, but chp. 2 will be great, I PROMISE! I
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,631 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/4/2001 - Published: 2/25/2001
A Chain of Iron Thorns reviews
MWPP--trying 2 get better perspective on Peter. I'm writing the story BACKWARDS b/c I got writers block any other way I tried. Sooo I hope to post the rest of it by the end of the summer, will still probably post in installments to keep the suspense up.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,327 - Reviews: 19 - Updated: 7/4/2001 - Published: 1/29/2001
Innocence reviews
Harry Potter. See if you can guess who... [This is Gwen-friendly, btw.] It doesn't rhyme, suprisingly...
Fanfiction Poetry - Rated: K - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 179 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 7/2/2001
Hairy Werewolf reviews
PG for mild cussing. Basically I like songfics, so decided to make a parody set to the tune of "Teenage Dirtbag" by Wheetus. Remus, talking about how hard it is to get girls wehn one is a hairy scary werewolf. PLEASE JUST READ IT! IT'S REALLY SHORT!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 623 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/27/2001
Where have all the flowers gone? reviews
ew. Romance and me don't mix, but there's no kissing (ISHOULD HOPE NOT!) You'll see... please read it...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,663 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 4/17/2001
Ode to the Otter reviews
Rather like my hedgepig song. Quite masterpiece of otterism, if I do say so myself. Of course, Skip wrote it, not me! ;) A bit corny. But well, just do me a favor and read it! Oh, and review, yes, thta too would be nice. This one is for you, Jiasa...
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 222 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/2/2001
Harry, Hedwig, and Hallucinogens reviews
ACTUALLY, HEDWIG NOT FEATURED AT ALL. SORRY I LIED, YOU'LL GET OVER IT. UM, THIS MIGHT MAKE YOU MAD OR IT MIGHT MAKE YOU THINK. HARRY DECIDES TO LEARN ABOUT HIS PAST AND USES A TOTALLY DIFFERENT APPROACH
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,065 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 1/19/2001
The Attics of My Life reviews
hmmm. I have no idea how this came to me...very strange one...like all of mine. DEPRESSING YET CHILLING HARRY FIC to sum it all up.one word of advice: don't eat strawberry lollies while writing a fanfic...very powerful hallocinogens, those lollies.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 392 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 1/14/2001
My Story (Yes..I know..how creative...) reviews
HM, WELL I WROTE THIS 6TH GRADE SO YOU CAN SEE HOW MY WRITING SKILLS (AND INSANITY) HAVE PROGRESSED OVER THE YEARS...HEHEHEHE...ANYWAY THIS IS NARNIA/HOBBIT/REDWALL FIC AND IT IS VERY NUTSO...PLEASE R/R
Book X-overs - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,792 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 1/12/2001
Ode to a Hedgehog (The Hedgepig Song) reviews
This one is weird, don't read if you expect something deep and intellectual. Actually, badgers are my fav, but this is for Warbeak...
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 274 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/7/2001
Death Eaters Rock reviews
Another songfic, this one about Voldemort! VERY SCARY & DEPRESSING. But hey, who wrote it? It definitely refelcts my EVIL side (every time that word is in the story it's in caps) and the EVIL side of HP, it is one of my lonGer but please still R/R!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,383 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 1/6/2001
Sirius' Songfic reviews
VERY mild PG. Hmm, well, this isn't horror, though it is pretty scary once he starts to sing. I just put it in there so Em could read it! Sirius and a songfic, ny two favorite things on this earth...what more is there to say?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,174 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 1/3/2001
The Shrew Song reviews
This is extremely wierd--read @ your own risk! But if you know those Mossflower shrews, you can kind of understand...
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 123 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 1/2/2001
The Warrior and the Rose reviews
Hmm, a little short peom about the book, not the mouse, though he is featured. If you're planning on reading the story, don't read this, it is a SPOILER! Otherwise, R/R, por favor!
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 205 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 1/2/2001
Untitled (about Salamandastron) reviews
Hmm, my best Redwall poem, I think...if ANYONE out there has ANY idea what Redwall is (it seems to me this place is pure Potter) please R/R!!!!!!!
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 159 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/2/2001
The Tears reviews
A really short poem about The Pearls of Lutra. R/R is greatly appreciated by your humble servant, me...
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 93 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/2/2001