A LIFE LESSON FOR ALL OF YOU "PRACTICAL" PEOPLE:
Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD good ?
Student : Sure.
Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?
Student : Yes.
Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?
(Student was silent.)
Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?
Student : Yes.
Professor: Is satan good ?
Student : No.
Professor: Where does satan come from ?
Student : From … GOD …
Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student : Yes.
Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Professor: So who created evil ?
(Student did not answer.)
Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor: So, who created them ?
(Student had no answer.)
Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?
Student : No , sir.
Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smell your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.
Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
Student : No, sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)
Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?
Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?
Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)
Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
(The class was in uproar.)
Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
(The class broke out into laughter. )
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.
Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.
That student was EINSTEIN. God is what we make of him.
Things To Ponder:
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops, On my desk I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?
16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME, PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"
Funny Quiz: Student got 0% in his exam even when he didn't get anything wrong.
Q1: In Which Battle Did Napoleon Die?
Ans: *In his last battle
Q2: Where Was The Declaration Of Independence Signed?
Ans: *At the bottom of the paper
Q3: River Ravi Flows In Which State?
Q4: What Is The Main Reason For Divorce?
Q5: What Is The Main Reason For Failure?
Q6: What Can You Never Eat For Breakfast?
Ans: *Lunch and Dinner
Q7: What Looks Like Half An Apple?
Ans: *the other half
Q8: If You Throw A Red Stone Into The Blue Sea, What Will It Become?
Ans: *It will simply become wet
Q9: How Can A Man Go Eight Days Without Sleeping?
Ans: *No problem, he sleeps at night
Q10: How Can You Lift An Elephant With One Hand?
Ans: *You will never find an elephant that only has one hand
Q11: It Took Eight Men Ten Hours To Build A Wall, How Long Will It Take Four Men To Build It?
Ans: *No time at all, the wall is already built
Q12: How Can You Drop An Egg On A Concrete Floor Without Cracking It?
Ans: *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
19 Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks write, "for smuggling diamonds."
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuations.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is, "To go."
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme?
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream, "I won!, I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
FUN THINGS TO DO IN A ELEVATOR
1.When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2.Say "Ding" on every floor.
3.Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
4.Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
5.Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
6.Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
7.Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
8.Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
9.Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment.
10.Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
11.Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
12.Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
13.Ask, "Did you feel that?"
14.Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
15.When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
16.Swat at flies that don't exist.
17.Tell people that you can see their aura.
18.Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
19.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
20.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
21.Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
22.Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
23.Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
24.Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
25.Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
26.Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
27.Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
28. Go up to them, and say in an Italian accent, "Germany, I can't tie my shoes, will you carry me??"
PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY
1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
3. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. The main reason that Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman "Where's the self-help section?". She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions??
8. If a deaf person signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Where do Forest Rangers go to "Get away from it all?"
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
15. Why do they lock the gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
19. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
20. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
21. How is it possible to have a civil war?
22. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
23. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
24. If you try to fail, and succeed in doing so, which have you done?
25. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
26. If you spin an oriental person in a circle three times, do they become disoriented?
1. We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.
2. "I reject your reality and substitute my own!"
3. You know what scares me about school? You can't write "Studying" without "dying"
4. It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to slap someone
5. Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over
6. There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full
7. Everyone is the main character of their own story.
8. When going through life, it is better to have friends with you, rather than being alone.
9. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
10. 'if who i am is what i have, and what i have is lost, then who am i?
11. "Sanity!? Sorry, but I don't remember having such a useless thing in the first place."
12. The best life is having something worth dying for and living everyday as if it's your last.
13. "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, determined citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."
14. I live in both Imagination and Reality, But my imagination conquers my world.
15. Call me crazy, but aren't we BOTH a little insane?
16. What's weird is normal and what's normal is weird
17. I dare you to try and follow my train of thought. I'll be there to laugh when you crash and burn.
18. When you do something stupid, it's just doing something insane.
19. It's not about the tools you use or the fame you have. It's about how well you can bring your dreams to life.
20. A Strong man stands for himself.
21. "No, vampires do NOT sparkle! 10 points from Hufflepuff!"
22. This story already belongs to us! When the story leaves the author’s hands, it already belongs to the reader.
23. If you are under the age of 17, or do not have the emotional and mental capacity to act in a mature way, get the hell out of this story. Hell, get the hell off the net, you pansies. (comment by moonlit mage)
24. 'Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not so sure about the universe' (darthwizard's Puppet Master, chapter 1)
25. "Insanity, you say it like it's a bad word" (The Swordslinger's Mahora's Mad Kitsune Hatter, chapter 1)
26. "Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that."
SOME FAVORITE ONE-LINERS:
According to the latest figures, 43 percent of all statistics are utterly worthless.
When in doubt, smile. It confuses people more than anything else.
Don't treat others as you want to be treated, treat others as they treat you.
When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you.
I hear your silence loud and clear.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
'It's okay if you want to drop dead.'
Some people are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
'School prepares you for the real world, which sucks.'
'May God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and a big bag of money.'
'I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day, and tomorrow does not look good either.'
Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.
Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
Don’t mess with me, I've got a stick.
If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Help, I've fallen and I can't...Hey nice carpet!
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive
Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life!
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Cheese…Milk's leap toward immortality.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
The best things in the world are free -- and worth every penny of it.
Psychology. Mind over matter. Mind under matter? It doesn't matter. Never mind.
I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.
Let's flip a coin. Heads, We'll be together, tails, we'll flip again.
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?
Why are the Force and ducktape the same? Both have a light and a dark side and hold the universe together.
You have to have darkness for a dawn to come.
Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I love you. I was doing fine until I ran out of stars.
To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.
Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.
Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed and permanently set.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic ... maybe we should have amateurs build everything.
If the sky is the limit, then what is space? Over the limit?
Why is it when an adult with the mind of a child is locked up and put in a asylum, while children are allowed to run in the streets?
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy??
When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade.
Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.
Always forgive our enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.
Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?
Let me know if anything I say offends you - I might want to offend you later.
One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons!
I smile because I have no idea what's going on.
Life was so simple when girls had cooties. It's still pretty simple, but now I know they might have something much worse but still want to touch them
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.
I ran with scissors and lived!
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.
If you are on fanfiction.net for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile.
My favorite word is sarcasm.
It's a matter of life after death-now that he's dead, I have a life
Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have.
There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.
Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips.
Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.
Somebody needs a Happy Meal.
Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.
I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me
Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.
My heart is not a playground
I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms
I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.
If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.
Love can come in many different colours.
What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy.
"So I'm crazy just because YOU have a leprechaun dancing on the ceiling?!"
"It has logic. I couldn't find any, but it still has logic."
"GREAT! Now I'm on fire! Are you happy now, ARE YOU!?"
"I'm not high, I'm insane. There's a difference you know."
"Perfection is an impossibility for humanity, for the simple fact humans themselves are imperfect. The ideal that things in our world are perfect, are simply ideals that are mistruths conjured up by madmen attempting to sustain that pitiful existence. It is impossible for us to understand what is perfect, for we are not perfect ourselves. Once humanity realizes this, we can all get on with our lives."
"Stop fighting against the system, destroy it from the inside. That's what germs do!"
"The children will inherite the earth. Your parents are terrified."
"Every second a million opportunities open, and every second, a million opportunities close."
"Ya, I have a voice in my head. It's called my conscience."
Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over.
The cops never find it as funny as you do.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
Don't look at me in that tone!
I'm not afraid of death. What's it going to do? Kill me?
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
Therapist = The/rapist . . . Scary thought.
Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!
I'm not insane and the voices in my head agree with me.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't
I'm sarcastic, what's your superpower?
A friend is a person that knows you are a good egg, even though you are slightly cracked.
What doesn't kill me better run pretty dang fast.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift--that's why we call it the present.
Have you noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anybody driving faster is a maniac?
I can insult my best friend, but heaven help you if you do.
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it into a fruit salad.
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more
If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you!
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? ..He's a mile away and you've got his shoes.
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking so good either.
I'm sorry, yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look to impressed.
Anger is one letter short of danger.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.
Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.
If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?
If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?
Since a running back runs forward, why is he called a running back?
Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?
When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do you call a girl that is named after her mother?
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
If all of the Acme stuff doesn't work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products?
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that ?
If pinochio said "my nose will grow now" what will eventualy happen?