I Am Not Amused
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Joined 01-06-03, id: 322109, Profile Updated: 08-05-10
Author has written 17 stories for Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy VII, Kingdom Hearts, Harry Potter, Chuck, and Doctor Who.

This needed updating. So I am updating it.

Hi there everyone. How are you. I am fine. Thanks for asking.

Dunno how many people out there are particularly interested in me, so I'll just get down to writing about my stories. Yay!

Current Projects:

Harry Potter -
A Reason: Marauders-era fic. Starts mid-6th year and goes through the changing world of the Marauders, James and Lily. Focuses primarily on the changing relationship of James and Lily in a landscape beginning to become wartorn.

Break: Marauders-era again. A series of six one-shots, one for Snape, Lily, and each of the Marauders, where I focus in on the very first time they were ever broken. Chapters are released in chronological order of their breaking. Chapter 1 is Snape, Chapter 2 is Remus. Written in a second-person, stream of consciousness style.

Chuck -
Other People's Words: Mini-drabbles! Nothing longer than 700 words here, and each little drabble is inspired by a movie quote that I put at the beginning of each chapter. My favorite is chapter 9, which a reviewer really touched me in comparing it to a fan fiction version of Hemmingway's 6-word short story. Kind of stunned me with a smile. Anyway, there is no 'start' or 'finish' to this, and it takes place at random times in the series, so yeah.

Per Second Second: A Chuck Me Challenge: Verkisto started the Chuck Me Challenge, which is to write a one-shot for each episode of Chuck for season 1 and 2. I decided to write each chapter as first-person explorations of single seconds in each episode. The ideas I got into in this one inspired my multi-chapter Chuck fic, and that's why this one is kind of on the back burner until the season is over, this new fic is all up in my head.

Chuck vs the Simple Twist of Fate: AU where Bryce doesn't get Chuck kicked out of Stanford. Yep. One of THOSE stories. Anyway, I am just taking this one step by step and exploring some of the ideas that I wrote about in Per Second Second.

Finished Projects:

Kingdom Hearts -
An Objective Study of Hearts, Heartless, and Nobodies: Weird one-shot that popped into my head one day. Takes the tone of a research paper to explore what Nobodies and Heartless are and how they work and what sort of comments their existance makes on the human race.

Chuck -
Left Unsaid: Two-shot inspired by Chuck vs the Mask. Written in second-person, which I have fun doing, and looks at what may have been going through Chuck and Sarah's minds as they came to their 'agreement' in that episode.

Complications and Grasshoppers: This is literally just a retelling of the DYLM scene from Chuck vs the Other Guy, though I threw in some back story and some character exploration. Pure cotton-candy fluff with some humor in there, too.

Scenes From a Sandwich Shop: Maybe my favorite piece of fan fiction, I wrote about Chuck and Sarah's three-year romance through the eyes of Lou, who is seeing it through the sandwiches that Sarah chooses to eat when she comes into Lou's Deli. I had a lot of fun with this one. It got nominated for a 2010 Awesome Award for Best Short Story! Woot!

Auditory Aphrodisiacs: A random, fluffy drabble that popped into my head after rewatching Chuck vs the Sandworm. If you're ever getting tired of how serious Chuck vs the Simple Twist of Fate is coming, I suggest coming back to this and remembering that I do actually write Charah. ;)

Storms in Encino: This one is a very experimental one-shot that takes a look at the Bartowski residence during Chuck's childhood. It's an incredibly bizarre style mixture, but I think that heightens the emotion of it. One of my favorites, due to the unique style.

Shelved Projects:

Final Fantasy 8 -
Two Years Without A Question: Post-Game fic with a Squall/Rinoa emphasis. With hints of Selphie/Irvine. My first fanfic. I like it and wish I could continue it but I'm so far removed from that style of writing and the mindsets of those characters that it just wouldn't work.

Final Fantasy 7 -
Tales Of A Scorched Earth: A novelization of Final Fantasy 7 told from Nanaki's son's perspective 500 years after the game. Holy wiped out humanity after the final battle, and Seto finds it necessary to tell his children the story his father passed down to him. I really liked this idea, but it died when I couldn't find a game script to work from. AU, now that AC, DoC, etc. are out.

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Radio reviews
Five years after the Intersect War, the Browncoat survivors in Team Bartowski are trapped on a planet filled with Reavers, separated from half of their crew. For Hallowhedon. STILL UNFINISHED.
Chuck - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,913 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 2/19/2012 - Published: 10/31/2010 - Chuck B., Sarah W.
Dreams of a Roman reviews
"How can he be real? He was never real!" ... This is something Rory Williams says in reality that he knows to actually be a lie.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,910 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/7/2011 - 11th Doctor, Rory W. - Complete
Chuck vs the Simple Twist of Fate reviews
AU - The world can change from a butterfly flapping its wings. If Bryce was unable to remove Chuck from the CIA watch list, how would that change Chuck? Or current CIA recruit Bryce? Or Fulcrum recruit Jill? Eventual - VERY eventual - Charah.
Chuck - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 69,541 - Reviews: 284 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 247 - Updated: 6/23/2011 - Published: 4/22/2010 - Chuck B.
I Am Tomorrow, I Am Today reviews
It's not like he even has time to think that with the building exploding and gunfire raining down like summer hail storms and he is not going to jump before Sarah precisely because he's the human Intersect and precisely because he loves her.
Chuck - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,946 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/16/2010 - Chuck B. - Complete
Zeno's Arrow reviews
"My point in all of this, Sarah, is that I told you that I love you." Some drunken musings, set during 3.13.
Chuck - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 511 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/30/2010 - Chuck B., Sarah W. - Complete
Other People's Words reviews
Each Charah drabble is based on a movie quote. Two final chapters. Quotes from Bad News Bears and While You Were Sleeping. I've decided to close this drabble compilation. I've also included very important author's note as the 31st chapter. Thank you.
Chuck - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 6,492 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/11/2010 - Published: 2/26/2010 - Chuck B., Sarah W. - Complete
Storms in Encino reviews
This is a story about Zelda as much as it is a story about anything else. This is a story about the taste of cherry cheesecake. A snapshot of the Bartowski residence.
Chuck - Rated: K - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,296 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Published: 6/26/2010 - Chuck B. - Complete
Auditory Aphrodisiacs reviews
She loves surprising him.
Chuck - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 266 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/26/2010 - Sarah W., Chuck B. - Complete
Per Second Second: A Chuck Me Challenge reviews
Taking a stab at the Chuck Me Challenge. The unseen importance in single seconds from each episode. Chuck vs. The Nemesis up.
Chuck - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,904 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 5/14/2010 - Published: 3/28/2010 - Chuck B.
Scenes From a Sandwich Shop reviews
Chuck and Sarah's three-year romance through the eyes of our favorite deli owner.
Chuck - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,338 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/14/2010 - Lou P., Sarah W. - Complete
Complications and Grasshoppers reviews
The now iconic 3.13 DYLM scene. Had to take a stab at it, right? Total Charah fluff, with some in-depth character exploration and humor thrown in.
Chuck - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,815 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/7/2010 - Chuck B., Sarah W. - Complete
Left Unsaid reviews
Some things that may have been running through the heads of Sarah Walker and Chuck Bartowski near the end of 3.07. Charah two-shot.
Chuck - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,364 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/22/2010 - Published: 2/21/2010 - Chuck B., Sarah W. - Complete
A Reason reviews
The reasons people change are multifaceted. Why did James? How did Lily? What brings people together when they struggle even to smile? Mid-6th year through 7th year. LJ
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 65,551 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 1/19/2010 - Published: 5/21/2009 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Break reviews
Everyone breaks. Six one-shots explore the breaking points of the Marauders, Lily, and Snape. Stream of consciousness drabbles.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,497 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 11/29/2009 - Published: 11/25/2009 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Two Years Without A Question reviews
INCOMPLETE After two and a half years, I finally update. Chapter 18 now up. A tale about finding what it is you want, and having the courage to take it. Very fluffy. [Squinoa]
Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 53,009 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 6/2/2007 - Published: 1/7/2003 - Squall L., Rinoa H.
Objective Study of Hearts, Heartless, and Nobodies reviews
ONE-SHOT An experimental fic that delves into what exactly Hearts, Heartless and Nobodies are, why they behave the way they do, and how it affects us and the way we live our lives.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,052 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Published: 2/19/2007 - Complete
Tales Of A Scorched Earth reviews
Novelization from Nanaki's son's perspective 500 years post game. Holy destroyed humanity and Seto vows to teach his children their story.
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,280 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/7/2003