Author has written 6 stories for Wrestling, Vampire Diaries, and Victorious.
Hey peoples! My name is Skylar but i go by my middle name which is Paige. (My bestie calls me Cupcake .)
Now before I start telling you about me, let me just shout out to my grandfather, R.I.P Papa! We love you and we're going to miss you! (May, 4 2014) and my grandmother, Mama! We love you so much and we are going to miss you just as much. (November 29th, 2015) You both impacted our lives in such a great way and you gave us so much. Thank you and once again we love you!
And the family dog. R.I.P Sadie Bobbins! We're going to miss you so much! You'll always be my Grumpy Old Man Dog! (May, 7 2014)
I'm from Florida and I've come to be damn proud of it.
I am a huge wrestling fan. I'm also a fan of vampires and werewolves. (Not to fond about the Twilight series but i have no problem with it. It is an okay series, just way to much hipe on it.) and I'm completely in love with Captain Jack Sparrow Tehe (: Best Pirate Ever.
I'm a Marvel fan as well, I like DC to but really i'm not a huge fan. Batman is my favorite from DC and I like the Green Arrow but and I know this may rub people the wrong way but i do not, under any sort of circumstance, even remotely like Superman. I think he's completely overrated and just a huge waste of my time when anyone ever wants to talk about him but now if you want to talk about an amazing creation from DC we can all look to The Joker and Harley Quinn, both from Batman just proving my point that Batman is my favorite when it comes to DC.
But now, lets talk about Spider-man. I'll pick Spider-man over any superhero or Villain any day, I don't care if Thor shows up completely naked i'm still going to go with Spider-man. I do like Thor though, especially with Chris Hemsworth playing him and we can't forget about Iron Man, Hulk, Captain America, Wolverine, Blade, Thing, Deadpool...Okay, no, seriously i'm going to stop there. Villain wise I've always had a thing for Loki. I just...I love him. I have an unhealthy love for Loki, i mean seriously when it came down to Thor and Loki fighting in the first Thor movie, i was like oh my god! Loki, kick his ass!
I'm a total book worm and my favorite series has to be Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead or the Hush Hush series by Becca Fitzpatrick and the House Of Night series is pretty good too. I absolutely love Stark and I've recently got into The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare.
I found that I had a passion for writing maybe 3 years ago. It's what my free time is consumed by now a days .
The Anthem - Good Charlotte (Story of my life. I will never be what people tell me to be, ill always be myself!)
The South - The Cadillac Three (Because this is where I was born and this is where i'll die!)
I Feel Like Dancing - All Time Low
Have Faith In Me - A Day To Remember
Are You Gunna Be My Girl - Jet
Sweet Cherry Pie - Warrent
Sweet Home Alabama - Lynard Skynard
Snuff - Slipknot
Awake and Alive - Skillet
Lips Of An Angel - Hinder (Probably my most favorite song. When people ask me what my favorite song is, this is the song that pops into my head.)
And so many more.
A Little more info about me: I love the Vampire Diaries (Damon Salvatore to be more specific xD) and Victorious is one of my favorite show. My favorite character is Cat. My all time favorite show ever is Viva La Bam. My favorite movies have to be Pirates Of The Caribbean (Captain Jack Sparrow has to be the sexist Pirate ever. But he is Johnny Depp so it explains alot.) Four Brothers, Death Sentence, All the Fast and furious movies (RIP Paul Walker. You we're one of my all time favorite Actors, you we're just plain amazing.) Labyrinth, Alice and Wonderland, both Hangover movies, The A-Team 2010, Every Jackass movie and anything Horror that doesnt include clowns. My favorite atresses are Selena Gomez, Megan Fox, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Love Hewitt and More i cant think of at the moment. My favorite actors are Johnny Depp (My all time favorite actor. No one comes before Johnny Depp. No one! xD), Bradley Cooper, Ian Somerhalder, Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, The Rock, Garrett Hedlend, Mark Wahlberg, Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson and More i also cant think of at the moment. Im a huge fan of Rob Dyrdek, Ryan Sheckler (Who is so freakin hot!), Tony Hawk, Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn (RIP), Johnny Knoxville and Steve-O as well. I want to either be a Director or a Photographer when im older.
I'm homeschooled at the moment. I miss my crazy friends ): Im never really mad unless you make me mad and when i am mad will lets just say im not that fun to be around. (I can make anyone cry if i really wanted to, though it rarely happens and i feel horrible after.) I dont really hate anyone and if i did you'd know it -.- Im a really hyper person, and known to have laughing fits at the most random times. Im random and sarcastic, i love to get under peoples skin at any point in the day. Im a bit blunt as well. I never hold back to tell you what im thinking and i rarely know when to keep my mouth shut. My little Bully is my baby girl. I resuced her as a puppy and she's a bit shy and completely scared of everything but she's as sweet as she could be. Blonde Moments are my specialty, and i have a lot of them. (: My best friend thinks if there was a realty show about our life's it would be the funnest thing ever with all the stupid things we've done and said. I know vampires are not real but i would love to be one xD
My Nephew Baby Jack Salvatore: http://www.flickr.com/photos/115399766@N05/12127503244/
50 Shades of Me.
1. What is your best friends name?
2. What color underwear/boxers wearing now?
3. What are you listening to right now?
Panic Station by Muse
4. Whats your favorite number?
5. What was the last thing you ate?
Chicken and Cheesy potato's.
6. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
Ah, I don't know. How about blue? n.n
7. How is the weather right now?
Gray and stormy.
8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Eyes, maybe build. ;o
10. Do you have a significant other?
11. Favorite TV show?
Sons of Anarchy, Victorious, Vampire Diaries, Teen Wolf, Supernatural, Finding Carter, Arrow, A lot more. xD
2 older brothers. John - 30 and Alek - 26
14. Hair color?
15. Eye Color?
Hazel, sometimes gold, sometimes blue.
16. Do you wear contacts?
17. Favorite Holiday?
Halloween! Yay!!!! xD
19. Have you ever cried for no reason?
20. What was the last movie you watched?
Jurassic World. :p
21. Favorite Day of the Year?
Um...My birthday?? I don't know. :D
22. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
23. Can you do a headstand (not using the wall)?
Yeah right. >.>
24. Hugs or Kisses?
25. Chocolate or Vanilla?
Vanilla for sures. (:
26. Do you want your friends to respond to this?
I really don't care.
27. Who is most likely to respond to a text from you?
My best guy friend or my Daddy. (:
28. Who is least likely to respond to a text from you?
29. What books are you reading?
The Mortal Instruments Series, The Hush Hush Series, Bloodlines.
Gauges in both ears and a nose piercing.
31. Favorite movies?
Horror movies mostly and Pirates of The Caribbean (All of them.)
32. Favorite football Team?
Um...Chicago Bears, Pittsburgh Steelers or The Tampa Bay Bucs because you know...have to support that home town team. xD
33. What are you doing right now?
Watching T.V, sitting in bed, doing nothing. xD
34. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?
Buttered and Salted. :3
37. Dogs or cats? '
Dogs! Oh my god! Dogs! I can only stand cats for so long. >.>
38. Favorite flower?
Roses because i can't think of any others at the moment.
39. Been caught doing something you weren't supposed to do?
Of course. xD
40. Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex?
41. Have you ever loved someone?
Not that I know of.
42. Who would you like to see right now?
Ian Somerhalder or Dylan O'Brien or Charlie Hunnam. Oh no. Tyler Hoechlin. Yes. Yes. A thousand times, yes! o;
43. Are you still friends with people from kindergarten?
Yes. Shocking right?
44. Have you ever fired a gun?
A fake one in Outdoor World in the mall in Orlando. It made me want to shoot a real one, but i have shot a Compound bow. That was fun. xD
45. Do you like to travel by plane?
Never been on a plane and i'd like to keep it that way.
46. Right-handed or Left-handed?
47. How many pillows do you sleep with?
6, i'm a pillow freak.
48. Are you missing someone?
Not at the moment.
49. Do you have a tattoo?
Yeah. One on the inside of my upper forearm that says Imagine with a music note heart, going to be getting another one soon. (:
50. Anybody on Tumblr that you'd go on a date with?
No. I don't go on Tumblr. :p
Do it one by one, don't look ahead!
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, or yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number?
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
I wish to get my life under control of my life.
If so scroll down
(don't cheat- -)
1. You are completely in love with this person
2. If you choose
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.
3. If your initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is is soon to blossom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soulmate.
5. If you choose...
Black: Your life will take on in a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides with you and would do anything for you, but may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you will have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laid back person.
9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come before your next birthday
DO YOU PREFER:
Lights on/lights off: Depends.
TV/movie: Also depends.
Body spray/lotion: Both.
Chinese food/Mexican food: Can’t choose.
Summer/winter: considering I’m a Florida baby born and bred, I’d have to say summer but being from Florida Winter is very welcomed as well.
Snow/rain: Rain. I’ve never seen snow.
Rock/rap: Rock. Can’t stand Rap
Sprinkles/icing: For the love of god! Both! Are you crazy?
Cake/pie: Depends on my mood.
Ocean/swimming pool: Whichever one is available.
Long sleeve/short sleeve: considering I adore hoodies? Long Sleeve.
Pants/shorts: oh…I don’t know. Both I guess.
Winter break/spring break: Spring Break.
Clouds/clear sky: Clear Sky.
War/Peace: Peace but you know…we don’t always get what we want.
Play an instrument?: No.
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?: Are you kidding? No.
Like to sing?: Yes but I’m no good at it.
Have a job?: No, but that’s all about to change.
Have a cell phone?: Duh, who doesn’t have a cell phone now a days?
Like to play sports?: Yes.
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: No.
Live somewhere NOT in the United States?: Nope.
Have more than 5 TVs in your house?: No, we have exactly 5. (:
Have any special talents/skills?: Writing.
Exercise daily?: Of course! (:
Like school?: No. Nope. Hate it. Can’t stand it.
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE:
Funny?: Depends on how you look at it. I have a lot of Dark Humor.
Cool?: I’m more of a dork. :p
Pretty?: Sure but I’m not obnoxious about it.
Sarcastic?: Hm. You know it.
Lazy?: I have my days.
Hyper?: Oh hell yeah.
Friendly?: Just the way I was raised, you know Southern Hospitality but just don’t piss me off. Blind rage runs in my family as well. (:
Evil?: Quite, if I do say so myself.
Unforgettable?: Well I can’t really be the judge of that can i?
Smart?: I have my days but you know blonde moments are my specialty.
Strong?: I can hold my own if that’s what you mean. I guess that’s what happens when you grow up with all redneck boys.
Talented?: Aren’t we all?
Dorky?: Of course. :p
Name: What Doesn't Kill You.
Banner made by Tvdlover87654:
All of Adele's outfits in all chapters our on my Polyvore page if you want to see him, below are her outfits in the most recent chapters along with all the dresses she's worn to special events.
Name: She Will Be Loved.
This is the official information about the Sequel to What Doesn't Kill You.
Name: Lose Myself
Name: Jasmine "Jazzy" Reed
Name: Michael "Micky" Landon
Name: Justin Taylor
Name: Nathaniel "Nate" Keller
Outfit in Chapter 1: The Birthday:
Favortie Wrestlers are:
Favorite divas/Knockouts are:
Most Hated divas/Knockouts:
Number your 12 favorite Superstars/Divas (In no order) and answer the questions!!
1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before? JoMo and Angelina love? Lolz No. I'm not sure there is one. xD
2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot? No. He's completely sexy! Enough said .
3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? Maria getting Shawn pregnant? Wtf? What kinda world we livin in? xD
4) Do you recall any fics about Nine? Yes. A lot -.-
5) Would Two and Six make a good couple? Hmm...Mickie and JoMo? Never thought about that. Maybe if JoMo wasnt taken by Melina >.>
6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Melina and Johnny Boy or Melina and Maryse? Hmm...I'll go with Melina and Johnny Boy. Im not all that into Female Slash.
7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex? If Miz walked in on Mickie and Maria having naughty time? He'd possibly yell AWESOME!! xD
8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic. He wasn't much of a protector as he was a pretador, but when a current French Beauty is in danger can he step up and be her prince charming? Or will he turn his back like the rest of them have?
9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff? I'm not sure. xD But i will be sure to check!
10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic. Names are so not my area . Hmm...Lets see. I got it! With a little help--> Maria's completely heartbroken after she finds her boyfriend in bed with another women but after spending a day with The Most Must See WWE Champion In History she finds that it's alot easier to move on with a little help.
11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One? EWW!! :D I would use something kinda mean at first and maybe just maybe get sweeter as time goes on (;
12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het? Im new here xD Ill anwser that later.
13) Does anyone on your friends list write Eleven? See number 12.
14) Two/Four/Five? O.O Mickie/Punkie/Melina. How in the hell would that work? Hmm...Getting all sorts of evil ideas over here v.v
15) What might nine scream at a moment of great passion? The Champ is HERE!!!
16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? I Dare You By Shinedown
17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? Ewie! xD Jeffy/JoMo/Maria! Hmm...Mojar hurt/comfort. Drama. Romance. Maybe a bit of Slash, Along those lines.
18) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two? I dont think that would end very well. Maryse hitting on Mickie? O.O
19) How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight? Well Im not really sure how to anwser that. How would Angelina describe a relationship between Mickie and Shawn? Hm...
Quotes and/or sayings from stars, songs, authors and Friends:
"The perfect person employs the mind like a mirror; It accepts but does not grasps, It receives but does not keep." Chuang-tzu
"Friendship is a single soul living in two bodies." Anonymous
"You people think im psycho?!" Mickie James
"Screw you, screw the stupid clowns, screw juggalos you can all kiss my ass!" CM Punk
"See you went and spend good hard earned money on a tattoo that says "Juggalo" you might as well tattoo asshole across your forehead cause that's all you are" CM Punk
"It's Clobbering time!" CM Punk
"John, what are you doing? John my diet soda what are you doing?" CM Punk (My ring tone by the way xD I love it so much because my dad's name and my oldest brothers name is John.)
"Pagging Dr. Faggot! Dr. Faggot!" Phil Wenneck Hangover
"Why are you peppering the steak? You don't know if tigers like pepper." Stu Price Hangover
"Nobody's gunna fuck on you! Im on your side! I hate Godzilla! I hate him too! I hate him! He destorys cities! Please! This isnt your fault. Ill get you some pants." Alan Garner Hangover
"Jesus, he's like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and shit." Phil Wenneck Hangover
"I look like a nerdy hillbilly!" Stu Price Hagover
"Fuck, I keep forgetting about the goddamn tiger!" Phil Wenneck Hangover
"It's not illegal. It's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane." Alan Garner Hangover
"Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you." Sid Garner Hangover
"Don't let the beard fool you. He's a child!" Stu Price Hangover
"We're in a stolen cop car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back. What part of this is cool?" Stu Price Hangover
"I'm an international criminal! It always ends like this." Mr. Chow Hangover Part 2
"You're the bearded devil!" Stu Price Hangover Part 2
"Well, used to be just baloney, but now they make you add number." Mr. Chow Hangover Part 2
"Oh my God! We kidnapped a monk!" Stu Price Hangover Part 2
"So much for holy people. Bunch of bald assholes." Phil Wenneck Hangover Part 2
"Yeah, we married fifteen years. Whatsa matter, Mr. Chow not good-looking enough for woman?" Mr. Chow Hangover Part 2
"Oh, it's ok... No, I'm allowed to say it, it's a bachelor party. Drink up everybody! Oh wait, there's no alcohol. I forgot, we're at fuckin' Ihop!" Phil Wenneck, Hangover Part 2
"Captain i wish to report a mutiny. I can name fingers and point names." Captain Jack Sparrow, POTC 4. (Now i'm not going to lie, i'll be saying this for the rest of my life. (I can name fingers and point names.) One because i love it and two because ive said it so much i'm not sure how to say it correctly anymore. xD)
"No! Not good! Stop! Not good! What are you doing? You burned all the food, the shade... the rum!"- Captain Jack Sparrow "Yes, the rum is gone."- Elizabeth Swan "Why is the rum gone?"- Captain Jack Sparrow " One: because it is a *vile* drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two: that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire royal navy is out looking for me; do you think there is even the slightest chance they wont see it?"- Elizabeth Swan "But why is the rum gone?"- Captain Jack Sparrow, POTC 1
"Why is the rum always gone?" Captain Jack Sparrow, POTC 2
"She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman." Captain Jack Sparrow, POTC 1
"Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid." Captain Jack Sparrow, POTC 1
Kyle: "Ready Ike? Kick the baby." Ike: "Don't kick the goddamn baby." Kyle: "Kick the baby!" -Kicks Ike across the street- South Park, Season 7.
Jessica: "The Capital of Florida is Tennessee." Me: -Gives her a weird look- Austin: "The Capital of Florida is Washington!" Me: -Looks at him.- "The Capital of Florida is your an idiot!" Caitlyn: -Laughs- Me: "The Capital of Florida is Tallahassee, Washington is the Capital of The United States." Caitlyn: "The United States doesnt have a Capital." Jessica: "And were the idiots." -rolls her eyes-
Cassandra: "He's got those sparkling brown eyes!" Me: -Writes JB on her bedroom wall in glow in the dark spary paint.- Cassandra: "What does that stand for?" Me: "It could stand for Justin Bieber, James Bond...Or Jonas Brothers." Cassandra: "Ew! You just ruined my Valentines Day!"
Lindsey: -Walks up to the lunch table- "Hey gu--" Me: "NOBODY LOVES YOU!!" Everyone around us including Lindsey: -Cracks up-
French Teacher: -saying something about France that i cant remember- Lindsey: -started talking to Jessica- Me: "Shut up!" French Teacher: -Looks at me weird-
Kyle: -Trying to run his hand up my leg- Me: "Stop touching me!" Science Teacher: -Walks right by us without stopping.- Me: "Really? Really? do you not see him trying to Rape me? Really?" Amy and Kyle: -Laughs- Teacher: -Just looks at me- Rangler (Some 12th grader who helps our teacher): "Kyle keep your hands to yourself." Kyle: "Stup up Brent!"
Jessica: "Dont give me too much ice cream." Me: -Puts two huge ass scoops of ice cream on her plate with a peice of cake- Jessica: "What the hell? Are you trying to make me fat?!" Me: "I think you'd make a great pie." Jessica: -Looks at me silently-
Layla: -My four year old cousin who walks into my grandma's room.- "What are you watching?" Jessica: "Toddlers and Tiaras" Layla: "What is that?" Me: "It's a show where parents occasion off there kids." Layla: -Gives me the blankest look- Me: "Im kidding, it's about being beautiful! Come watch come watch!"
-Brothers puppy barks at the broom- Me: "Oh no! Puppy bark so intimidating! Run everyone! Run for your life!" -runs from the room- Jessica: -Laughing-
Brother John: I want fat kid pie! And i got the retarded fork again! Mom: I got it from the flea market. John: The retarded fork? Mom: The pie.
Jessica: "We have to make a outfit for the blue hair." Me: *Stares at her blanky* Jessica: -sigh- "*Random hand motion* Ch-ch-ch-chi. *Places fist on top of head* Bow. Me: "Ohhhh."
Jessica: No, i'm serious! It's horrible! There legs are so wide. It's just like *throws her arms out wide* BAM!" Me: *cries from laughing so hard*
-Brothers puppy runs towards me- Me: Hey batter batter! -Swings the broom- SWING! -Puppy jumps back and stares at me before running from the room- Me: "NO WEEWEE!!! Jobba come back! I'm sorry! I wuv you!"
Me: "You can't say anything about not liking it when people dont text back because you never text to me back!" Jessica: "Our relationship doesnt count, were not boyfriend and girlfriend!" Me: "I'm your wifey, that should count for something." Jessica: "That doesnt count for anything!" Me: "We need marriage counciling." Jessica: "Marriage counciling is for couples that fight, we dont fight we sucessfully ignore eachother, couples who ignore eachother are heathly couples!" Me: "We are fighting!" Jessica: "This is a debate, not a fight." Me: "This is a fight!" Jessica: "Now we need marriage counciling!"\
Me and My brother are sitting around the living room watching The Big Bang Theory. He kicks his glass on the table and it falls over and he sits there staring at it. Me: "Clean it up." My Brother: "You should have moved faster!" Me: "I didn't even move!" My Brother: "You were the one who knocked it over!" Me: "I was not! You kicked it!" My Brother (160 something pounds): "Okay, blame it on the fat kid!"
Me, My brother and Jessica are in my brothers room eating Spaghetti. I go get another bowl after my brother. I come back and sit down, he follows me with a glass of soda and sits down in the computer chair. Jessica looks at me. Jessica: "Did you go and get 2nds?" I nod. My Brother: "Who the hell gets 2nds of Spaghetti?" Me: "I do." My brother looks around the room frowning. My Brother: "Damn it! I forgot my bowl in the kitchen!" Jessica: "So you too got 2nds? What happened to Who the hell gets 2nds?"
Jessica: "What would i do without Google?" Me: -Looks at her- "You'd fail at life, actually if the world didn't have Google, everyone would fail at life."
My parents, my brother and I are at Golden Corral. My mom takes a sip of her drink. "This cup smells funny." Both my dad and I pick up are cups and take a sip. "It might just be the fish." My mom mutters. I turn to my dad. "Did you just smell your cup too?" He nods.
Jwoww: "I always look at Ron and Sammy as mood rings." Snooki: "I love mood rings." Jwoww: "Yeah, but you don't want that shit to turn black." Snooki: "True" Snooki and Jwoww. Season 1.
Jessica and I walk in to an Abercrombie. I pick up a pair of jeans next to the door. While the lady walks up, i look at the price of the jeans and my eyes widen. Slowly i set the jeans down as the lady reaches us. Lady: "Hi! May I help..." Jessica and I walk out. I turn to Jessica as we're walking away. Me: "Did you see the price of those jeans?" Jessica: *Nods* Me: *Mutters* "So i wasn't hallucinating. Fucking Abercrombie and Bitch."
"They ain't no rest for the wicked, money don't grow trees, i got bills to pay and mouths to feed, ain't nothing in this life for free. I know i can't slow down, i can't hold back though you know i wish i could. Oh no there ain't no rest for wicked until we close our eyes for good." Ain't No Rest For The Wicked - Cage The Elephant.
"When you don't know how to do something...you might as well do it quickly." Jase, Duck Dynasty.
"Ya'll might want to go to Wal-Mart and pick up a personality." Phil Robertson, Duck Dynasty.
"This snowcone is giving me a brain sneeze. It's when your brain needs to sneeze, but it cant cause its a brain, so it just hurts" Si Robertson, Duck Dynasty.
"Let me tell you about redneck logic...Just blow it up! He's gonna be so enamored with the fire he'll forget about what he's losing." Willie Robertson, Duck Dynasty.
"It's hard to know where i stand, Even the man on the moon couldn't tell me where to land." Man on the Moon - Phillip Phillips
Looking out the window with my dogs. Sees a couple walking a baby coming by, pulls little yappie dog down so she doesn't bark but leaves Midnight because she doesn't bark. As the couple is almost gone Midnight barks. Pulls Midnight down so she's sitting on the couch. Me: "No barking. No no no Barking." Midnight looks at me with her ears down and her eyes wide. Me: "No barking." Midnight crawls into my lap and lays across my face which is her way of saying "I'm sorry." Me: -voice muffled by Midnight- "Oh god! I'm dying! Minnie your so fat!" Mom: -in the kitchen- *Laughs loudly*
Vector: [after shrinking toilet] "Look at you, a little tiny toilet, for little tiny people to..." [toilet breaks, spraying water on Vector] Vector: "Ah! Curse you, tiny toilet!" - Despicable Me, 2010
Edith: "Can I drink this?" Dr. Nefario: [snatches beaker from Edith] "Do you want to explode?" [Edith kicks Dr. Nefario] - Despicable Me, 2010
Agnes: [Shaking giant stuffed Unicorn] "It's so fluffy!" - Despicable Me, 2010
Spongebob: "Run Mr. Krabs! Run like your not in a coma!" - Spongebob Squarepants, 2005
Jade West: *Looks up at the sky as she feels rain drop while driving Tori and Cat to San Diego* "Ladies, i hate to ran on your parade but i think it's raining on your parade." -Victorious, 2012
Me: *Eating some chips at 12 something in the morning, looks at my baby girl staring at me from the end of the bed* "Want a midnight snack Midnight?" *Realizes exactly what i said and gives her a funny look* "I should have named you Ninja."
Walter: "I want to be a greeter at Wal-Mart." Jeff Dunham: "At Wal-Mart? What would be your opening line?" Walter: "Oh." *Clears Throat* "Welcome to Wal-Mart. Get your shit and get out!...Have a nice day." Jeff Dunham: Arguing with Myself, 2006
Walter: "Last night, I couldn't find a place to park anywhere near this stinkin' joint. Then some jerk pulled up in a brand-new Mercedes, goes right in the handicap spot. He got out of the car and there was nothing wrong with him! Don't you hate that?" Audience: "Yeah!" Walter: "So I ran his ass over. I made an honest man out of him. Then his mother got out on the other side and started swinging her crutches at me! Took her out with the door." Jeff Dunham: Arguing with Myself, 2006
Walter: "Oh Yeah. What happens in DC, stays on Youtube." Jeff Dunham: Sparks of Insanity, 2007
Jeff Dunham: "You and your wife got into another argument one the phone today didn't you?" Walter: "Oh you heard a little bit of that did you?" Jeff: "Oh yeah." Walter: "Yeah, I hung up on her." Jeff: "Not good." Walter: "She called right back and said 'Did you hang up on me?' I said 'I don't know did it sound a little something like this...CLICK.'" Jeff: "Did that make her angry?" Walter: "Ohhh...I felt a disturbance in the Force." Jeff: "Have you ever made her that mad when your standing right in front of her?" Walter: "Oh yeah." Jeff: "What did you do?" Walter: "Well my mother always told me when your in a jam and don't know what to do you should think 'What would Jesus do?'" Jeff: "Ah." Walter: "So i tried to turn her into a fish...I stood there going 'BE GONE SATAN! Hello Shamu!'" Jeff Dunham: Spark of Insanity, 2007
Jeff Dunham: "You didn't like the weather there either." Walter: "Oh my god! Even in the middle of winter it's humid as well and hot as hell. We got there, i took a shower on Monday. Friday: Still not dry. I swear I grew moss on my ass." Jeff: "Yeah, you said the weather changes to quickly." Walter: "Yeah. I know it changes fast everywhere else in the country but in Florida it's ridiculous." Jeff: "What are you talking about?" Walter: "Oh My God. I was standing there on the beach, in the sun shine, having a little bit of iced tea. I look over and go 'Oh look, a little cloud.' About three minutes later..." *Makes the sounds of a storm* "'HOLY CRAP!' The locals are hanging onto the palm trees. 'WE LOVE IT HERE!' You dumbass's! I say leave it to the Cubans and get the hell out!" Jeff Dunham, Spark of Insanity, 2007 (A/N: I love this so much because it's true. Not the part about the Cubans or the shower but about the weather...110 percent fucking true. Florida weather sucks.)
Spongebob: "Patrick! I don't want to face my fears! I'm afraid of them!" Spongebob Squarepants, Season 5, Roller Cowards.
Mr. Krabs: "SpongeBob, I worried you..." [turns into a giant Krabby Patty]. Spongebob: "Could you run that by me again?" Mr. Krabs: "I said I'm worried you..." [turns into a giant Krabby Patty once again]. Spongebob: "That's what I thought you said. Now, let me offer this as a rebuttal, AAAAHHHHH!" Spongebob Squarepants, Fear of Krappy Patty, 2005.
"Anywhere you go, anyone met, remember that your eyes can be your enemy." Sweet and Low, Agustana.
Kenan: "Mr. Kimble, would you care to tell the court in your own words, what happened on the morning of October the 6th?" Kel: *Starts silently crying* "I did it! I did it! Kenan, I'm sorry man! I did it! It was an accident! I didn't mean it! I...DROPPED THE SCREW...IN THE TUNA! I...DROPPED THE SCREW...IN THE TUNA! It was me! Oh the humanity!" Kenan and Kel, The Tainting of the Screw, 1996.
Little John: *Watching his daughter who has a mop of curly brown hair at the top of her head and his dog play in the dogs cage. He looks at me* "Look at this, It's the adventures of Jew Dog and Fro Baby."
“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” Albert Einstein
"Art is art. Everything else is everything else.” Ad Reinhardt.
“Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.” Cyril Connolly
"Now Son i'm only telling you this because life can do terrible things." Terrible Things, Mayday Parade.
"Love was a story that couldn't compare." Terrible Things, Mayday Parade.
"I could stand here for hours just to ask God the question "Is everyone here make believe?" with a tear in his voice he says "Son that's question, does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?"" You Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet On The Ground, I'll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds, Mayday Parade.
"I'll be okay, is that what you want me to say? It's called break up because it's broken." The Last Something That Meant Anything, Mayday Parade.
Officer: "Sir, I'm going to need you to recite your alphabet, backwards." Jericho: "Do it. Do it. Come on, Do it." CM Punk: "Can you tell him to be quiet, i can concentr-Backwards? Has anyone in the history of the alphabet ever recited it backwards?" Raw
"It's so strange how life works: You want something and you wait and wait and feel like it's taking forever to come. Then it happens and it's over and all you want to do is curl back up in that moment before things changed." Lauren Oliver
"Maybe you can afford to wait. Maybe for you there’s a tomorrow. Maybe for you there’s one thousand tomorrows, or three thousand, or ten, so much time you can bathe in it, roll around in it, let it slide like coins through your fingers. So much time you can waste it. But for some of us there’s only today. And the truth is, you never really know." Lauren Oliver
"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." Albus Dumbledore
"Life's a game made for everyone and love is the prize." Wake Me Up, Avicii.
After poking a VooDoo Priest in the eye, "I've noticed that very few people are scary once they've been poked in the eye." - Temperance Brennan, Bones
Crowley: -Facing a demon, the demon knocks him down- "Your good." -He stands up and kills the Demon- "But I'm Crowley." - Crowley, Supernatural, First Born 2014
Elena and Stefan are in the Gym of the high school. Klaus has compelled Stefan to feed on Elena when the clocks stops. Elena: "Caroline's dad! Stefan, he was able to resist compulsion. I don't know how, but he did it. Maybe it's possible." Stefan: "It's just mind control, right? Maybe it just takes some focus, a couple decades of training. No big deal." -Vampire Diaries, The Reckoning.
"I have these thoughts so often I ought to replace that slot with what i once bought 'cause somebody stole my car radio and now I just sit in silence." Car Radio, Twenty One Pilots
"This is where I was born and this is where I will die...It's all about the south!" The South, The Cadillac Three
My brother clumsily rolls across my moms bed to get to the other side of the room so he could run out the door* Me: "What the hell was that?" Little John: "I Batman-ed it." Me: *Stares at him blankly* Little John: "Yeah, that's right. I'm Batman."
-Same day- *Brother and I are at the storage unit packing away Christmas stuff in the small storage we had in the climate controlled building. It was one of the higher ones so he had to climb into it to stack the boxes. Decides he has to go to the bathroom when we're half way done. He jumps out and lands on his feet and hurts his ankle but doesn't bother stopping as he goes half running half limping down the hall.* Little John: *As he's running/limping away* "I can't be Batman!"
Me: "Ohmygoodness! He's bi!" Jessica: "I know. How did you not get that when i asked him if he was and he said he likes girls way more and guys had like a 1.999999999999% chance?" Me: "I don't know! I didn't put the dots together!"
Me: -Pushes the enter button on the keyboard randomly- Jessica: -Looks at me funny.- "Why did you do that?" Me: I felt like the time just called for it."
Jessica and I are playing Halo for XBOX. We're trying to find the control panel to get across the bridge, I take the controller from her to find the narrow hallway to get to the control panel. I find the narrow hall way and start into it, when turning the corner i spot one of the Alien dudes. Me: -Screams and throws the controller back at Jessica- Jessica: -Catches the controller and shirks- "What the hell? We're gonna die!!!"
Jessica and I are talking about seeing her mom walk into target when we hear a weird noise. Me: "What just died?" Jessica: "Is that the sound your phone makes when it dies?" Me: "Yes." Jessica: "Then your phone just died." Me: *Turns to look at my phone* "Aw damn it."
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this
Bold the ones that apply and add your own:
I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I GOT SICK so I MUST be bulimic.
I WEAR GLASSES so I MUST be a nerd.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm NOT POPULAR so I MUST have no life.
I'm POPULAR so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm FRIENDLY so I MUST be fake.
I DO SCHOOL CLUBS so I MUST be a suck up.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I ACT DIFFERENT so I MUST be a show-off.
I DON'T DO FASHION so I MUST be poor.
I HAVE NO FACEBOOK so I MUST have no friends.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm TALENTED so I MUST be a conceited show-off.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I LIKE A "LOSER" so I MUST be one too.
I WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST be a slut
I DON'T WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST "think i'm all that".
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm an HONEST PERSON, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm an ACTRESS so I MUST be a liar.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm A WRITER so I MUST be crazy.
I LIKE SCHOOL so I MUST be a loser.
I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I TALK TO BOYS so I MUST be a slut.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I WRITE SAD POETRY so I MUST be emo.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.
I LIKE TO READ so I MUST have no life.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I LIKE TO LOOK GOOD so I MUST be insecure.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.
I LIKE TO SING so I MUST be some "pop star".
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I Love SHOPPING so I MUST be rich.
I'm an OG so I MUST be Mexican.
I DO STUDENT GOVERMENT so I MUST be a class-act suck-up.
I TRY so I MUST be an over-acheiver.
I SMILE so I MUST be high on something.
I'm CANADIAN so I MUST speak with a ridiculous accent.
I'm SCOTTISH, so I MUST wear a kilt and have ginger hair.
The Stupid Test!
(x) You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it.
() You have eaten a bug (but not swallowed it!)
31 are marked and only 6 are not. Is that i bad thing? xD
ANNOYING THINGS TO DO IN AN ELAVATOR!(READ THIS IF NOTHING ELSE) VERY FUNNY!HEHE!
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."
(Try not to get headache)
I cdnuolt blviee taht I cloud aulactly
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanig. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in wht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be tatol
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wohle.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipomorantt! Thats so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!
The Stupidest Things On Products
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)
On a Myer hairdryer:"Do not use while sleeping."(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Wow. That's really helpful)
On a child's superman costume:"Wearing of this garment does not enableyou to fly". (Awh, that's the whole purpose of buying the costume!)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands".(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat."(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how??)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion).
I laughed SO HARD the first time I read this. LOL
IMPORTANT-Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen/ Robert Pattison are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, copy and paste this in your profile. Quick, we need sponsors! :D:D:D:D:D
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his brake wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live.
...Put this onto your profile if you would do that for someone you cared about.
You're a 90's kid if:
You can finish this "ice ice _"