Alyssa128
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Joined 09-06-11, id: 3231001, Profile Updated: 12-31-11
Author has written 5 stories for Gnomeo & Juliet.

Hey! My name is Alyssa and I am (Finally) 13 years old! I absolutly LOVE writing on this site and I love when I get reviews from people! I am in all tha advanced classes in my school and I've played piano for 5 years. My dad is the pastor and my church so... yeah im a christian and proud of it!!!

Fav Movie's...

1. GNOMEO AND JULIET!!!!!!!! They better make a sequel or I WILL CRY! I hate thinking of Gnomeo never beeing a daddy...

2. How To Train Your Dragon

3. ELF!!! LOL!

4. Tuck Everlasting : I know half of you reading this never even heard of it but you really should watch it! Soo sad...

5. Soul Surfer (Yes I am afraid of beaches now!)

Fav Books... (Yes I do read or else I wouldn't be on this site)

1. Anything by Margret Peterson Haddix

2. Gnomeo and Juliet the Junoir Novelization (I heard this exsist but I haven't read it but I loved the movie so I'll put it here anyway)

3. I cant think of anything else...so...

Fav Music...

1. I am a christian so anything on K-Love

2. Who am I kidding! I don't know that much music!

Fav couples

Gnomeo and Juliet- duh

How to train your dragon-Hiccup and Astrid

Tuck Everlasting- Jesse and Winnie

The Sisters Grimm- Puck and Sabrina

How I found fanfiction...

I was looking up Gnomeo and Juliet 2 on Google and something was there about Delly123's Gnomeo and Juliet 2 that she wrote. I loved it! Funny story- when I first found it I thought it was the script for the second movie coming out. Oops. Dont give me that look! It was really good!

If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have been on your computer hours on end reading fanfiction, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile

If you are a hopeless romantic at heart, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read this, copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen Teetering On The Brink Of Insanity Past The Point Of No Return Man Life Sucks, The Poisoned Doughnut of DOOM, Overthemoon2139, obsessedwithstabler, GalacticFTW, SSA Ruth Leland, Booklover707, HTTYD, Saphirabrightscale, Alyssa128

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile copy and paste this into your profile. (Well we're writers. It's an occupational hazard.)

If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile and add your name: Alyssa128

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you constantly need a new bookshelf in your room, copy this into your profile

If you think Toothless is cute as a cat. Copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you realize that by joining this site, you are a part of something special, paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. (Yeah I do that alot.)

Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile! (They're so yummy!)

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Not since last time I checked)

If you think that girls are equals to boys, copy and paste this on your profile. (Itt's kinda obvius with the boy's in my school...))

If you think that child abuse is wrong and should be stopped completely, copy and past this into your profile.

If you have ever thought of something funny and started laughing aloud copy and paste this into your profile. (I havent done that since... like... a whole 3 seconds ago!! :P)

If you've ever wished you could go into a book,and join the fun in the adventure copy and paste this into your profile. (ALL THE TIME)

If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.

¸.•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´~Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, died, or is living with cancer

If someone has ever called you weird, copy and paste this to your profile

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you get way too excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

If you love God and you're not ashamed of Him repost this, and see what he does for you tonight

If you have a little sister who is looking over your shoulder right now, copy and paste to your profile and try not to scream! Lol!

If your mom tried to see who you were texting, but didn't know how to turn on your phone, copy and paste this. (I wasn't mad and it was actually pretty funny :P)

If you go on other peoples profiles just to find something to copy, copy and Paste this

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this onto your profile! (I start squealing!)

98% of all teenagers do drugs, have sex, or drink alcohol . . . . . post this if you like bagels.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

98% OF TEENS WON'T STAND UP FOR GOD...

REPOST THIS IF YOU'RE ONE OF THE 2% WHO WILL.

If you wonder who started these thingamawhatevers, copy this into your profile

Disagreeing with Obama is NOT racism!! Copy and paste this if you agree!!

I'M THE TYPE OF GIRL
WHO WILL BURST OUT LAUGHING IN DEAD
SILENCE BECAUSE OF SOMETHING THAT
HAPPENED YESTERDAY.

More random things!!

WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR PARENTS!
1. Follow them around the house everywhere.
2. Pretend to have amnesia.
3. Say everything backwards.
4. Run into walls.
5. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
6. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"
7. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder.
8. Say all of the words in a film.
9. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!"
10. Wear a sticker that says "I'm retarded!"
11. Talk to a pen.
12. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.
13. Try and climb the wall.
14. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "Oh...I get it!"
15. Eat your hair.
16. When you shower or bath yell "I'm drowning!"
17. At everything they say yell "LIAR!"
18. Pretend to be a phone.
19. Try to swim in the floor.
20. Tap on their door all night.

Things to do on an Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask, "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( What other time do I have to work on my hair?).
On a bag of Frito's! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how . . . ?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion, right or are u a secret dictator jus trying to suggest it).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well . . . a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (. . . and you thought?. . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (Isn't that the whole point)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what else?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash or was it supposed to have loony peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh . . . fly Delta?)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (. . . was there a lot of this happening somewhere in Sweden?)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm. . . . .something must have gotten lost in the translation . . . )
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (Oh sure, go ahead, destroy a universal child belief! I don't blame
the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On carton of milk: Warning: Contains milk.(Well what else would it have in it?)

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't

forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for

the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that

mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister

is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see.

I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long

When I awake
I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.

I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.

He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"God, why? Why is
My life always sinking?"

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

If child abuse makes you sick and you think it's horrible and should be stopped, put this poem on your profile.

WACA (Writers Against Child Abuse)

50 Ways to get Kicked

Why America has some issues.

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

out of Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals
throughout the day.

4. Don't bother doing your own shopping. Simply find someone with a full trolley containing roughly the items you need, and when they are not looking take it and go pay for it at the checkout. (this is not stealing, they did not own the items yet, they were simply 'moving them around')

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit, then arrange them into erotic poses. (be creative with the gift-wrap tubes used in point 6).

9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly,
especially in thin aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I
think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off
and turn the volume up to full blast.

12. Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen
you in so long." etc. See if they play along. Insist on calling them 'Bob', and if they protest, get angry about it (violent if necissary).

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself
loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"

15. When you leave the store, try your car keys in the door of every car in the car park until you get to your own. Then drive off as if this is perfectly normal. (Note- if you don't actually own a car and walked to the store, attempt the above by substituting car keys with your house keys).

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are
taking it for a test drive.

17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet
behind them. Do this until they leave the store.

18. Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice.

19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, kill them.

20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and
when they say you didn't buy it there say "The customer is always right darn it!!" Make a scene.

21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you
will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other
aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."

26. Climb things.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"
upside down. Once you have mastered this, progress to "boobs".

29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and
say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
them yelling "Red Rover."

31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any
in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples). Do a vague hand-mime of what a 'Shnerple' looks like to assist them.

32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.

33. Take bets on the battle from above.

34. Test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics on all the live animals in Pet-Care.

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask
the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as
possible.

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
Mission Impossible.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags against their will.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to
your Twinkies."

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: Marco Polo.

43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet
section, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's using an alternative alphabet of your choosing.

45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with
various funnels.

46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at
something, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as 'A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline'.

47. Relax in the patio furniture drinking beer until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to
your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again!"

49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to
the food court, buy a drink, and say you don't get out much and ask them to put a little umbrella in it.

1.YOUR REAL NAME: Alyssa

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Alyizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Purple Puppy

4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Fotalsmo

5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink) Blue Sprite

6. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name):Ltomnlh

7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name, dad's middle name) (My dad doesn't have a middle name but he tells us it's 'danger'! I'll just use that.) Elizabeth Danger

8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets): Black Muffin

9. YOUR HIPPIE NAME: (type your name with your elbow) AZl.yhssaz (Ummm... Is it close?)

1. Grab the book nearest to you, and go to page 111, Paragraph 6. What is it?

''Teresa reluctantly agreed to follow Archbishop's advice.''

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?

My computer and the air!!!

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Probably Gnomeo and Juliet!

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

4:45 pm

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

4:48!!!! Boo-yeah!

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

My sister blowing ballons and deflating them.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

about 3:30 today. I was bothering my sister and her friend!! Lol!

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

G&J stories!

9. What are you wearing?

Green T-shirt, Jean vest and capris.

10. Did you dream last night?

For once, No.

11. When did you last laugh?

Probably less than 10 minutes ago!!

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Boring wallpaper!! I'm on the bed in my guest room.

13. Seen anything weird lately?

Ummm... My sister. Does that count?

14. What do you think of this quiz?

Is someone stalking me?

15. What is the last film you saw?

Gnomeo and Juliet!! If you haven't figured it out yet its my fav movie and I am addicted to it! THEY NEED TO MAKE A SEQUEL!!

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

Nothing! I would just pay people to make a sequel to Gnomeo and Juliet! Lol!

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:

I'm 99.9% sure my sister is a monkey.

18. If you could change two things about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

Umm... GNOMEO AND JULIET 2!!!!(How many times have I mentioned that now?"

19. Do you like to dance?

Yeah. Too bad I stink!!

20. George Bush:

I think he had a beard!!

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Isaballa! I like the name!

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Umm... He would probably be a Jr of whoever I married.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?

It depends; what does that mean?

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid backside.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on to your profile.

Being mature is overrated.

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!

One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you! (Chances are it's me...)

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away (if well aimed).

Favorites:

Food: Spagetti

Movie: Gnomeo and Juliet

Subject: Science

Color: Purple

Saying: I'm not crazy! I'm just a little mental!!! (My friends get annoyed when I say this so it's win-win!!!)

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, hyper or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If you have a story stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a teenager, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you feel alone in the world and think no one understands you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile

Things to think about!

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?

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║██║ Put this on your page if you like music (no freaking duh)
║(o)║
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10 Ways To Be S-T-U-P-I-D:
1. Ask for directions to a place you're already at.
2. Order pizza from McDonald's.
3. Get hit by a parked car.
4. Try to watch Saturday cartoons on Thursday.
5. Try to sell your money.
6. Try (and fail) to play the alphabet on the piano.
7. Eat all-you-can-eat at a store.
8. Get into a fight with yourself, and lose.
9. Try to go swimming without getting wet.
10. Ask for diet water at a restaraunt.

The 10 Commandments of a Teenager!
1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long?)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention it's cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection.)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect, and why the h-e-double hockey sticks would you let yourself get arrested?!)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money.)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off.)
8) Thou shall not kiss boys in school.
(Kiss them outside instead.)
9) Thou shall not worry about tests.
(Just cheat on them: better marks.)
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave em in the middle)

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity. . . .
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you're woken up, shout, "AMEN! Or PAYING ATTENTION!"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone's gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write, "For marijuana."
7. Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance with the prophecy." Or, "in the garden with a meat cleaver."
8. Skip down the hall instead of walking and see how many looks you get.
9. Order diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
10. Specify that your drive-through order is to go.
11. Sing along at the opera.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work are and play tropical sounds all day.
13. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.
14. When money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!"
15. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! THEY'RE LOOSE!"
16. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we're gonna have to let one of you go."

Oh, the irony . . .
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

Deck of Cards

It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars, and land mines for some reason hadn't been heard.

The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week.

As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.

Just then an army sergeant came in and said, 'Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?'

The soldier replied, 'I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord.'

The sergeant said, 'Looks to me like you're going to play cards.'

The soldier said, 'No, sir. You see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country,

I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards.'

The sergeant asked in disbelief, 'How will you do that?'

'You see the Ace, Sergeant? It reminds me that there is only one God.

The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments

The Three represents the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.

The Four stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John .

The Five is for the five virgins, there were ten, but only five of them were glorified.

The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.

The Seven is for the day God rested after making His Creation.

The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives -- the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the Earth.

The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy. He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him.

The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone.

The Jack is a reminder of Satan, one of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal hell.

The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary.

The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.

When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year.

There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week - 52 weeks in a year.

The four suits represent the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.

Each suit has thirteen cards -- there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter.

So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for.'
The sergeant just stood there. After a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said, 'Soldier, can I borrow that deck of cards?'

Please let this be a reminder and take time to pray for all of our soldiers who are being sent away, putting their lives on the line fighting for US.

Prayer for the Military.

Please keep the wheel rolling. It will only take a few seconds of your time, but it'll be worth it to read on...

Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands.

Protect them.

Bless them and their families.

I ask this in the name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior.

Amen.

When you read this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our servicemen and women all around the world.

There is nothing attached, but this can be very powerful.

Of all the gifts you could give a Soldier, prayer is the very best one.

Do not stop the wheel, please -- just send this on.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

96 percent of teens won't stand up for Christ. If you are one of the 4 percent that will, copy and paste this in your profile.

Copy & Paste This
If You Believe
Christianity is
NOT Just A Religion
It's A Relationship
Let Your Lights Shine Bright
For Christ Is To Return Soon
Love Jesus

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

My Heart Turned Red by kagomehater4ever reviews
Ever wonder what Gnomeo was thinking throughout the movie? Well stop wondering! Go through his mind as he struggles to hate the Red Garden as he has all these years, or to be with the girl of his dreams from the loathed Red Garden, a girl named Juliet.
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 54,689 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 4/21 - Published: 8/9/2011 - Gnomeo, Juliet
Memories of the past by Mizar and Alcor reviews
Gnomeo and Juliet weren't the only ones who fell in love inside the fued. Juliet finds out Lord Redbrick and Lady Blueberry had a past relationship which was torn apart by their gardens in the fued, this is a tale of how 2 gnomes started from love to hate
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 121,626 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 3/16/2012 - Published: 5/23/2011 - Lord Redbrick, Lady Blueberry
Tell me that again by I.J.Girl reviews
An AU story in which Gnomeo and Juliet's parents haven't died, and they all live together in one garden. How can Gnomeo and Juliet fall in love when they've always known each other, and fought till the cows came home? Read this and you'll find out!
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,586 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 3/15/2012 - Published: 11/4/2011 - Gnomeo, Juliet
love, marriage, baby, more love by babesitter1234 reviews
the feud is over and Gnomeo and Juliet can finally be together! there's romance,family, forgiveness but mostly romance!
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,892 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 1/28/2012 - Published: 12/6/2011 - Gnomeo, Juliet
Apology by Mighty ANT reviews
Tybalt couldn't feel remorse for everything he'd done...could he? Oneshot
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 923 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/24/2012 - Juliet, Tybalt - Complete
Sparks Fly by DarkXRachel reviews
What would've happened if Tybalt hadn't been in the back alley? And Benny had stayed silent before he ran? My twist on this loveable story, right from the beginning! AU sort of .
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,554 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 1/15/2012 - Published: 10/2/2011 - Gnomeo, Juliet
The BreakUp by MissyMES reviews
Gnomeo and Juliet had been together for a year and perfectly happy. But what if someone decided to break them up?
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,235 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 12/31/2011 - Published: 10/18/2011 - Gnomeo, Juliet
The Red and Blue Kingdoms by No0Longer0Active0 reviews
The Red and Blue Kingdoms are at war for now, but on this day of Juliet's birthday, they and Two other Kingdoms Come to the Red vally for a peace Ball. Queen Blueberry bring's her son and soon the prince and princess meet in a rose garden. G&J
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,115 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/6/2011 - Gnomeo, Juliet
I Always Get What I Want by Liftmeup15 reviews
Everything is perfect in Gnomeo and Juliet's world. The feud is long forgotten and their friends and families are getting along. But, when a new snobby gnome Prince comes along and steals Juliet, will anyone ever get her back? T for wimpy violent scenes
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,709 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 11/20/2011 - Published: 11/17/2011 - Gnomeo, Juliet
Violet and Indigo by SummerRose503 reviews
Gnomeo and Juliet got married and then they had two twin girls one a feisty little trouble maker named Violet Orchid. Then a Calm peaceful non trouble maker named Indigo Rose.The family of Gnomes move to Lima, Ohio and meet a girl named Sara Evans great niece of Ms. Montage
Crossover - Glee & Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,289 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/14/2011 - Published: 10/8/2011
Birthdays by kissxoinnocencexogoodbye reviews
It's been 2 months since the blissful marriage of Gnomeo and Juliet began and It is Juliet's Birthday. Gnomeo wants to make it special for her, but how will he sucseed? I mean he's never done anything like this before? Can he cook? How bout sing? Rate!
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,220 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/12/2011 - Published: 6/20/2011 - Gnomeo, Juliet
My Accidental Happily Ever After by Diamondb29 reviews
The Reds and Blues have a bonding party? Juliet can sing? How bout Gnomeo? Anymore surpirses? Find out read and review! Story better than summary! Told in Gnomeo's P.O.V almost nothing like the movie!
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 22,470 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/5/2011 - Published: 5/31/2011 - Gnomeo, Juliet - Complete
Unbreakable Love by kagomehater4ever reviews
What was going through Juliet's mind throughout the movie? Read this to find out! Her thoughts and feelings about choosing between loyalty to her family or to be in love. And in a forbidden and unthinkable love with an enemy Blue Gnome, Gnomeo.
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 72,357 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 7/31/2011 - Published: 4/3/2011 - Juliet, Gnomeo - Complete
Gnomeo and Juliet Alternate Universe by owlcity89 reviews
What if Benny had never found Gnomeo and Juliet in their garden?
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,000 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/27/2011 - Gnomeo, Juliet
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

One and The Same reviews
This story is continued from Brianna29's One and The Same. Learn how Gnomeo and Juliet deal with their un-agreeing parents throughout the feud. If that wasn't hard enough; what will happen when some new's takes them for surprise.Mainly Gnomeo's P.O.V.
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 11 - Words: 13,305 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 12/31/2011 - Published: 10/31/2011
Mowers and Madness reviews
Travel deep into the mind of Tybalt Redbrick and hear his thoughts on that blasted Blue Garden next door and one gnome in particular. Knowing Tybalt, It won't be anything but Mowers and Madness.
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,432 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/3/2011 - Tybalt
The Neighbor reviews
Gnomeo and Juliet move all the way from England- To America! What will happen when their neighbor speaks to them as if they were living, and finds out their secret! What if she told someone...and they believed her.
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,182 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/1/2011 - Published: 9/26/2011
Gnomeo and Juliet How I see itNanette reviews
want to know what was going on through nanette's mind as her best friend went off and found her true love; and later she does the same? Well just read this and find out!
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9,488 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/16/2011 - Published: 9/9/2011 - Complete
Gnomeo and Juliet Together at Last reviews
what happened to Gnomeo and Juliet after the wedding? What did there friends think of the sudden romance and what will Gnomeo and Juliets ex-lovers think? What if one was so jealous that they would do anything to get revenge.
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 15,641 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 11/12/2011 - Published: 9/8/2011