Author has written 1 story for Maximum Ride.
I am free of all prejudice, I hate you all equally.
Time is the best teacher, too bad it kills all of its students.
Mortal Instruments Series
Percy Jackson and the Olympians
The Lost Hero
The Goddess Test
The Mediator Series
The Heir Trilogy
Wolves of the Beyond
Witch and Wizard
Beka Cooper: Terrier
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on Facebook, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in over a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Maximum Ride, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom, flyaway111, physics chick, CrazyNerdyFangirl, Safira Rue Mellark, Mimpy, MaxRide25, lonewolfrox3264, Wingz-and-a-Fez, jessyvaga
This is like my fave quote from a fanfic i read. what is happening is max is gonna hava baby and nudge finds out.
"ZOMG! Max! Holy potato chips! I'm gonna be an aunt! Is it a girl? Oh, I hope it's a girl! Can we call her Beverly Olivia Natasha Elizabeth Ride? Please, Max?"
"Beverly Olivia Natasha Elizabeth Ride?" I repeated, shocked. "What, and have her initials be B.O.N.E.R? Nudge, really?" Nudge blushed crimson.
Fang only rolled his eyes, wounding both arms around Gazzy and Iggy. "Oh, please. Jealousy is never a good thing. It's always the bros before the hoes. Got it?" He seemed to have it in the bag. Really. Until…
"Chicks before dicks." Max countered airily, a triumphant grin plastered on her face while Fang's mouth dropped. "Learn it."
: My favorite book quotes:
Maximum Ride Series by James Patterson
Max: "Will you quit that?"
Gasman: "What does that mean" (points to a sign that says Stay Off the Third Rail!)
Fang: "Man, you weigh a freaking ton. What've you been eating, rocks?"
Dr. Martinez: "I take it you don't want me to call your parents?"
Max: “I’m okay now. Maybe it’s a stomach bug or something.” Yeah, the kind of stomach bug that causes brain cancer.
Max: “Sixty dollars?”
Fang: “Yes! Freaks rule.”
Mike: “Where’s your gear?”
Random Person: “Is this a movie?”
Agent: “And how do you spell that?”
Iggy: “Max? Can I come in?”
Max: “Something’s wrong with me, but I don’t know what.”
Fang: “Holy (insert a swear word of your choice here).”
Max: “Did you know that wasn’t me, the other Max?”
Max: “Lay off the freaking horn!”
Max: “I hate you!”
Dr. Martinez: “Fang? Are you – like Max?”
Max: “So, you have your price. Your soul for a cookie.”
Max: “Fang, Fang, Fang. I love you. I love you sooo much.”
Max: “What I said yesterday didn’t mean anything! I love everyone in the flock! Plus, it was the Valium talking!”
Fang: “There is one bright side to this.”
Jeb: “The truth is, Max, nothing is as it seems.”
Ter Borcht: “You haf a malfunctioning chip, you get debilitating headaches, and your leadership skills are sadly much less than ve had hoped for.”
Ter Borcht: “Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?”
Ter Borcht: “Do you haf any qualities dat distinguish you in any way?”
Ter Borcht: “Does anysing on you vork properly?”
Ter Borcht: “Is dere anysing special about you?”
Gazzy: (in ter Borcht’s voice) “I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahrs!”
Max: “Now, let’s say they come get us.”
Ter Borcht: “It is time to eliminate you. You haf failed all de tests. You are not useful.”
Max: “Gosh. It’s like looking in a mirror.”
Scientist: “As high as a plane?”
Fang: “Have you guys been playing in toxic waste again?”
Nudge: “No. I looked for you too. Were you behind the tree?”
Total: “I don’t have fleas.”
Iggy: “They call me the White Knight.”
Max: “I’m only a kid! I can’t get married!”
Max: When Fang asked if it was time to get back, I thought hazily, Back to what?
Max: “Did you leave the flamethrowers lying around again?”
Ensign: "I'm supposed to lead some temporary recruits to mess, kit, and then the BSSTC grounds."
Iggy: "If you wanted me to take a shower, all you had to do was pay me ten bucks, like you usually do."
Mortal Instruments Series by Cassandra Clare
(An angel statue has a sign that says "1234, NEPHILIM: FACILIS DESCENSUS AVERNI")
Clary: "It's so... dark."
Dorothea: "Didn't I read your tea leaves, Shadowhunter? Have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?"
Alec: "There she is." (waves Isabelle over) "Over here. Watch out for the phouka."
Simon: "I, for one, am enjoying myself immensely."
Jace: “Are you still mad?”
Alec: “How do you manage never to get mud on you?”
Luke: “He’s not in a very good mood. I shut him up in Freaky Pete’s office after he nearly killed half my pack with his bare hands. He wouldn’t talk to me, so I thought of you.” (Looks at Clary’s and Simon’s baffled expressions) “What?”
Jace: “I don’t want to be a man. I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can’t confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead.”
POST IT ON YOUR PROFILE ON FANFICTION!!
REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):
1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!
7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?
8. WORLD DOMINATION! BEST reason!
"I'm sorry Hermione. Surprisingly Snape has a potions kink and my definitions really did it for him. As in we had a-co-nite together; He let me ashwinder around him and like a puffer-fish he became a horned toad and we put our bicorn horns together in which much graphorn-ing was involved, afterwards I took a drag-on his eggs to help erumpent his snake venom, all in which there was much aggressive lovage included."-As In A Potion Kink by QueenNarca
"This is not Hell . . . This is the den of pure evil sadistic, manipulative, greedy perverts! AND SIRIUS ISN'T EVEN PRESENT!" –Harry Potter
You know when you live in 2013 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen-name or MySpace
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends...
9.) ...and you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage
16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
Repost this if you laughed...