Author has written 7 stories for Elder Scroll series, Patriot, Hobbit, Dragon Age, Fallout, and Assassin's Creed.
I'm just a grumpy, apolitical, anti-pc, occasionally sleep-deprived, sexually constipated fanfiction writer and mostly I just want a Moleskine, sweet iced tea, and a naked Nathaniel Howe tied to my bed post. If I'm feeling generous, Richard Armitage is permitted to bring me oatmeal raisin cookies and rub my feet.
Btdubs, ya'll, giggle-snorts along the way are recommended and highly encouraged!
Don't be afraid to PM me about mistakes, corrections, concerns, ideas, or just for a chat. I like my internet friends infinitely better than my real friends.
You can also find me on Archive of Our Own, under the same pen name. Profile Link (replace "dot" with an actual dot) : archiveofourown (dot) org/users/freshneverfrozen/works
Why do I write Fanfiction?
Reason 1 ) see sweet iced tea and fictional characters tied and gagged
Reason 2 ) Buffy season 7, still not over it. You cut me deep, Joss Whedon.
Hmm...my most commonly PM'd/reviewed complaint? "Ahhh, Fresh, your OCs are such rampant cowards and liars and users! I want to hit them all in the face with an ax! Ahhh!" That is the general gist of it. And yes, yes they are. I concur and sympathize with your need to psychically harm several of my OCs. You want Christ-child heroics from a beautiful, witty sorceress who uses her legendary fighting skills and Merlinesque understanding of the arcane arts to always remain unflinchingly stalwart and true and always make the right decision? Sorry, none to be found here. Cowards, liars, and weasels are infinitely more interesting than their heroic counterparts. If you actually like the character you're writing all the time then something is wrong. Nobody likes anybody all the time.
Fresh's Five Rules of Fanfiction:
- Never under any circumstances employ the word "chappies." Use the correct form. Say it with me - "chap - ter" Chapter. Chapter(s). "Chappies" is not cute. It's not funny. Don't say it. Ever. Unless you're twelve...in which case it's still inexcusable. In a pinch, the abbreviation "chap X" is acceptable.
- Do not withhold chapters for reviews. If you do, you shall forever more be labeled by myself and others as an attention-seeking she-dog. I know I'm guaranteed not to review anything that says "I'm not posting chapter X until I get Y reviews." Grow up. Grow up now.
- Don't feed the trolls. They'll squash your confidence into jelly.
- Do not leave a review that contains some derivative of "update nownownownownownownow" Encouragement is great. Concrit is even better. If you want good/substantial/usable reviews, you must build up your review karma.
- Unless you're doing a kick-ass Buffy, anti-vampire-pussification crossover, don't write Twilight fanfics. Especially don't write fanfics about Twilight fanfics *ahem*
Further fun, interesting, and indisputable facts about myself...My OTP, you ask? Myself and Talbot from Uncharted. He exists right? Favorite book(s)? The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson or possibly Camus' the Plague Favorite 'Guilty Pleasure' book? The Southern Vampire Mysteries Least Favorite Literary Character? Legolas. Fangirls may exit stage right. You do you. Favorite Band: Blackberry Smoke? Dorothy? Favorite TV show(s)? I'd say Buffy but only seasons 1-3. Season 5 never happened and I rage -quit season 7. Favorite song: The Night's too Long by Patty Loveless. Quick, you've (finally) been murdered - who solves the case? My ghostly self, appearing through vividly sexual dreams to Burton Guster and Carlton Lassiter. Together. Shawn is curiously absent. Most hated NPC from a game? Alistair motherf@$!*& Therin. Favorite NPC from a game? Loghain Mac Tir What universe would you most like to live in? Star Wars x 10000000 but only in the Old Republic. Maaaaybe post-TFA, if there is sufficient Space Nazi and Baby Vader. Greatest Travesty of the 21st Century? It's a toss up between 50 Shades and Twilight. Also, the fact that the 90s are over is sad. Pets? Children? A dog. But I have to ask permission to sit on the couch. Do you have a name? Sara. Say-ra. First A is a long A. Pretend you're from antebellum Georgia.
"Men have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence– whether much that is glorious– whether all that is profound– does not spring from disease of thought– from moods of mind exalted at the expense of the general intellect."
-Edgar Allan Poe
"This affair must all be unravelled from within." He tapped his forehead. "These little grey cells. It is 'up to them'--as you say over here." A. Christie
1 Corinthians 16:13 "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong"
"You either Darth Revan or you don't Revan." - Me, upon completion of any RPG.
Works in Progress? Planned ones? Like on a schedule? Haha. HahahahHAHAHAHAHA. Okay, sure.