Author has written 5 stories for Harry Potter, Avatar: Last Airbender, Mulan, and Hunger Games.
HAI!!!!!!! It's FlyingElephants!
MARY SUES MUST DIE!!!! Here is a list to help spot a Mary Sue in a story!
1. Stunning looks, killer body, and description of all these.
2. Has abilities/powers unlike anyone else in the entire world.
3. Is “the last of her kind/people/tribe” and apparently the most powerful.
4. Is the key/way to defeating/unlocking/opening the plot device.
5. Is adored by everyone.
6. Is loved by all enemies.
7. Has been kidnapped numerous times.
8. Has a guy she really likes.
9. Has a guy she likes also
10. She can’t decide which one to choose.
11. Thinks she killed someone.
12. It turns out she did not kill that person.
13. She dies numerous times and is brought back by the power of love.
14. She thinks everything is her fault.
15. Nobody thinks anything is her fault.
16. She sees visions.
17. She has a famous ancestor.
18. She is more powerful than her ancestor.
19. She can ask her ancestor’s spirit for advice.
20. She has a backstory.
Whoever said nothing is impossible, obviously never tried to slam a revolving door.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
Don’t mess with me...I've got a stick.
Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Eat healthy, excersize, die anyway.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
The cops never find it as funny as you do
The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.
I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didn't work that way…so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
You can’t be late until you show up.
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"
If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile
"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target."
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
I'm sarcastic, always, and I love it.
A friend will comfort you when your rejected, but a best friend will go up to him and say, "Its because your gay isnt it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
I only speak two languages - English and bad English.
There are three kinds of people: Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?
You call me a b? Because a b is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing.
95 of teens would cry if they saw Miley Cyrus at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are in the 5 that would sit there eating popcorn and yelling "DO A FLIP!!"
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces (then that means that i am the most skilled person in the world.
Yes, i do have a sadistic mind. Thanks for noticing.
It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt-then it's hilarious!"
LADIES don't start fights,we FINISH them.
Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?
"I didn't trip! I was testing gravity...it still works."
Not only do I fall down stairs but I trip up them as well. Now that takes TALENT (i really should try to win America's got talent with this, i'm a pro at both!)
15 THINGS I'M GOING TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
Re-post this if you laughed...
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FRIENDS AND BEST FRIENDS:
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
The European Commission has just announced that English will be the official
During negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this will make
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
By the 4th yer pepl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
Und after zis fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German; lik zey vunted in ze
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl
If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', whats the opposite of 'progress'?
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Nunquam lamiae morde me dice. - Never say 'bite me' to a vampire. –Anonymous.
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.