Poll: In My Story, 'Freedom To Find A Home' What Injury Should Hiccup Get From Fighting The Red Death?(If At All) Vote Now!
Author has written 22 stories for D.Gray-Man, White Collar, Criminal Minds, Psych, Avengers, Supernatural, How to Train Your Dragon, Harry Potter, and X-Men: The Movie.
IMPORTANT INFO FOR READERS:
Hey Guys, I Know. You've Probably Read All The Info In The Updates I've Posted, But I Just Want To Say I'm Sorry Again.
I Know Me Leaving FFN Is Probably Hard, Especially For My Loyal Readers & The Friends I've Made On Here.
But I Want You All To Know That I'll Still Be Here. I'll Be Reading On FFN, Replying To PM & Reviews(Which I Need To Catch Up On Actually. ;P)
But I'm Not Abandoning You Guys! I Promise. If You Need Help In Any Way, Or Just Want To Talk I'm Here!
Now For Those Of You Who Haven't Read All The Updates, This Might Come As A Shock.
I'm No Longer Going To Post Here On FFN. I've Found My Stories Have Been Stolen From Here & Posted On Other Sites That Make People Pay To Read Them.
I've Made Several Complaints & I've Realized That FFN Isn't Secure At All. As Even My Profile Has Been Stole & People Are Acting Like They're Me.
So I'm Going To Post My Stuff On AO3 Instead. My Name Is The Same, Just With Underscores Instead Of Spaces:
So I Hope To See All Of You Guys There!
I've Already Edited & Posted One Of My Stories(Atmis) Over There & I'll Be Posting The Others On A Regular Schedule(Hopefully).
I'll Be Posting Like They're New Stories, & They Will Be A Little Bit. I'm Going To Edit Them Maybe Add Little Bits Or Take Away Little Bits That Don't Really Pertain To The Story Plot. I Might Cut Chapters In Half Or As 2 Together, I'm Not 100% Sure Just Yet. The Plots Will Stay The Same Though.
But I Really Hope That You Guys Will Like Them All The Same. Again, I'm Sorry If This Seems Abrupt, I've Been Dealing With This Since X-Mas Of 2015.
& I Really Want To Say Thank You All To Everyone Who's Followed, Favorited, & Especially Those Who Reviewed My Stories & PM'd Me Worried About Me. Thank You All So Much. You've Made My Life Brighter & Given Me Confidence In My Writing Abilities!
If You Have Any Questions Feel Free To PM Me Or Review On One Of The Stories I Updated With A 'Goodbye' Authors' Note.
vvv The Link To My AO3 Profile vvv
Hey Reader, I'm Glad That You're Reading This.
Name: Like I'd Actually Say My Real Name. You Can Just Call Me 'Post You Later' Or 'Post' For Short If You Want.
Age: Unlike Most Women, I'm Not Afraid To Say My Age. I'm 23(Being An Adult Is Kinda Boring).
Occupation: Unemployed At The Moment, Though I'm Looking & Have Put An Application In At PetSmart.
Eye Color: It Depends On My Mood & What I'm Wearing. My Eyes Change From Green To Grey To Blue. & All The Colors In Between. But They've Been On Green For A Month Or So Now, So I'm Thinking They're Staying That Color. XD
Hair Color: Dark Brown, But In The Summer, My Hair Turns Mahogany. I Do Dye My Hair Sometimes.
Hight/Weight: I'm Like 5 Foot 9/10 Inches. My Weight? I'm Like 200-205, Depending On The Day. I'm A Big Girl, Currently Trying To Be A Slightly Not As Big Girl. XD
Random Stuff: I Like The Colors Orange, Black, Green, & Dark Red, The Number 7, & My Fav. Animal Is The Wolf. My Favorite Pokemon Is Beedrill, & I Love All Birds Because I'm Jealous Of Their Ability To Fly. I Also Envy Clouds. Just A Few Random Facts About Me That Will Probably Show Up In Any(But Hopefully Not All) The FanFics That I Write.
Oh & I LOVE ROBERT DOWNEY JR.! God He's HOT! & The Best Actor EVER! & He's An Aries, Like Me, Our Birthday's Are Actually 5 Days Apart! X3
So, I'm Always Obsessing Over MARVEL Movies. I've Watched The Avengers 2 Times In The Theaters & I've Seen It Like 7(See There's My Fav. #) Online. & I Bought The DVD. & I've Got Iron Man 3 On My Computer. I've Seen All Iron Man Movies & I've Seen Both Thor 1&2 & Captain America 1&2. I've Seen Avengers 2 & Deadpool. & I'm Pretty Psyched About The New Fantastic 4 Movie & Ant Man! & I've Got My Brother, Who Isn't As Big A MARVEL Fan As Me, To Watch All The MARVEL Movies(Well, The First Ones Anyway). Needless To Say He Loved Them. & I Love All The Iron Man Movies(Including The 3rd, Even With The Sad & So UnTony Like Ending), Any MARVEL Movie, Then The Sherlock Holmes Movies, Due Date, Tropic Thunder... You See A Pattern Here? Robert Downey Jr. Is Simply The Best Person EVER! XD
& I'm Super Psyched That They've Finally Announced That There's Going To Be A Sherlock Holmes 3 & An Avengers 3, & Of Course My Robert Downey Jr. Will Be Staring In Sherlock Holmes(Though It's Been Awhile & I'm Thinking They've Canceled It, I Sure Hope Not)& I'm Hoping He'll Be Tony Fucking Stark Again, But With The Way CA3 Is Looking, I'm Not Sure He's Going To Survive! I'm PRetty Nervous About Watching It. I'm TeamIronMan Until The Day I Die. XD
Also, I'm Really Into The Show Supernautral, & I've Actually Seen Every Single Episode. Thank God For Netflix. XD Anyway, It's The Best TV Show EVER & I've Already Written A Few Stories For It. A Rated M Story, & A Few Others. But There Will Definitely Be More On The Way! It's Too Amazing Of A Show For There To Be So Little Of My Favorite Types Of Plots Out There. So I'm Going To Write Till My Hearts Content! XD Also, Jensen Ackles Is SUPER HOT Too. XD
AND, I'm Completely In Love With The YouTubers Markiplier & Jacksepticeye. They're Totally My Baes'. I May Even Write A Story About Them! X3
Anyway, I Will Mostly Write Some Form Of Hurt/Comfort. Probably From Crime Shows & Others Of Similar Genre. If U Have Any Requests Send Them My Way & I'll See What I Can Do. Though I Already Have A Fairly LONG List(It's Pages Long, & That's Like Miles In The Computer World), So It'll Take Awhile For Me To Get To It. :P
I Will Write A Lot Of Whump!(Both Emotional & Physical) & Most Are Slash Of Some Sort. So If Don't Like Them, Then Please, Don't Read Them. X)
I Will Also Write Humor To Balance Out The H/C Stuff. I'm Working On A Lot Of Projects At Once & I Like To Post The 1st Of A Story When It's Either Half Way Done Or Close To Being Finished & Just Needs To Be Spell Checked & Proofread, So There'll Be A Significant Amount Of Time Between Posts & Possible Updates.
I'll Write Fics. For White Collar, Criminal Minds, NCIS, Psych, Castle, etc. Crime Shows Like That, & Supernatural(Which I Got Into In October Of 2013 But I've Seen Every Episode). Movies Like The Avengers 1 & 2, Iron Man 1, 2, & 3, Which I've Bought, Captain America 1 & 2, Thor 1 & 2, Harry Potter(All Of Them), Sherlock Holmes 1 & 2, & Same For SH3 When It Comes Out(If It Comes Out), How To Train Your Dragon 1, & 2, & Pretty Much A Bunch Of Random Stuff, Or Anything With Robert Downey Jr. In It. & If I Haven't Watched It I May Watch It To See If It's Any Good. But Probably Not, Unless I've Been Wanting To See It. XD
So, If You Have Any Good Ideas For A Fanfic But You Don't Wanna Write It, Just Toss It My Way In A PM, Or A Review On One Of My Stories! XD
Thank You For Your Future Challenges! X3
Hey I Have Some Fanfic's Up, So You Should Go Read Them If You Want:
ALL STORIES NOT COMPLETE WILL NOT BE COMPLETED HERE! I'VE MOVED TO AO3 WHERE I WILL COMPLETE THEM THERE(HOPEFULLY)
Atmis - Complete (OneShot)
Could You Spare A Limb? - Complete (OneShot)
Falling On Deaf Ears Literally - Complete (OneShot)
Shadows Of The Merchant Of Death - Complete (4 Ch.)
The End Of The World - Complete (OneShot)
Snowboarding & Free Coffee - Complete (OneShot - Possibility There Will Be A Sequel?)
Forgotten Memories and Found Love - Hiatus (5 Ch. - Will Possibly Rewrite This)
You Can Keep Percy - Complete(OneShot, Possibility There Will Be A Sequel?)
How To Train Your Dragon:
Freedom To Fly - On Going (1 Ch. So Far - Will Be A 2 Shot, Maybe More)
Not A Pet! - On Going (4 Ch. So Far)
The Freedom To Find A Home - On Going (4 Ch. So Far)
Deserted Islands Aren't For Vacations - Hiatus (18 Ch. So Far)
Key To A Stolen Heart - Complete (OneShot - Possibility There Will Be A Sequel)
No Choice - Complete (OneShot)
The Resumé Of Shawn Spencer - Oneshot Series - Ongoing (Ch. 2: Babysitter) - Chapter Update Sporadic
Back Seat Joy Rides - Complete (OneShot)
Bitch Slapped - Complete (Oneshot)
Those Eyes - Complete (OneShot) - But There Will Be A Sequel Posted Separately At A Later Date
Neal's Brother - SAY WHAT? - Hiatus (9 Ch. - Will Possibly Rewrite This)
Mutant Emotions - On Going (31 Ch. So Far. Updates Sporadically, Like, Maybe Once Every 2 Months)
Can't Think Of Anything Else That's Pertinent About My Writing At The Moment.
Thanx For Reading, Here Are Some Awesome Things I Either Think Are Cool, Funny, Interesting, Or... Just Awesome!
Some(Actually Quite A Lot) Of My Favorite Quotes:
Crammer: Calm down Agent!
Reid (to Morgan during their 'prank war'): I will crush you. (Criminal Minds) *Reid Totally Wins*
Hotch: What the hell was that?
Reid: Are you hacking into the government's HMO database? Is that legal?
Reid: Look at me! Without a gun I look like a teacher's assistant! (Criminal Minds)
Reid: I don't know everything. I mean, despite the fact that you think I do. (Criminal Minds)
Reid: You should see what pops up when you type 'death' into a search engine. (Criminal Minds)
Hotch: I thought you were going to talk to Reid about taking some vacation time?
Jamaican Cop: Where is the victim's head?
Reid(his phone keeps ringing): Loner, invisible, outcast, boiling ra-SON OF A BITCH! (Answers Phone) Hi This Is Dr. Spencer Reid! I Actually Can Come To The Phone Right Now With A Very Special Message That Your Mother Is A D-
Receptionist: There's a Lieutenant Crunch here to see you.
Gus: How do you just eat when there's a dead guy laying there?
Gus: What part of "Stay put" don't you understand?
Shawn(talking about Gus' imaginary cat): Mrs. Pickles is her full name. Though I'm not actually sure if cats can marry outside of Boston… (Psych)
Lassiter: You have a criminal record.
Gus: I got a lap dance from Patrick Swayze!
Shawn: Woody, in your professional opinion, how do I die?
Shawn: Good morning Detectives! Are we taking donations for the Policemen's Ball?
Shawn: Don't worry, Lassie, you'll kill someone someday. (Psych)
Shawn(After Gus Suggests Taking Some Time Off): ...From Psych? No way buddy! What would I do while you're off being a drug dealer?
Shawn: Of course we'll help you. You're like our brother . . .
Shawn: Perhaps you're referring to my license to kill. Revoked. Trouble at the Kazakhstan border. I could give you the details but then I'd have to kill you . . . which I can't do, because my license to kill has been revoked. (Psych)
Anderson: According to someone, the murderer has the case and we found it in the hands of our favorite psychopath.
Sherlock: You're a doctor. In fact you're an army doctor.
Watson(About Sherlock's deductions): That. Was amazing.
Sherlock: We've got ourselves a serial killer. Love those—there's always something to look forward to. (Sherlock)
Sherlock(Texting John): Baker Street. Come at once if convenient. SH (A second later) If inconvenient come anyway. SH (Sherlock)
Watson: That's the phone— the pink phone.
Lestrade: Any ideas?
Watson: Any time you want to explain?
Watson(checks out the surroundings): Are you wearing any pants?
Watson: What are we doing here? Sherlock, no, seriously. What?
Mycroft: Just once can you two behave like grown-ups?
Sherlock: Mycroft, I don't do anonymous clients. I'm used to mystery at one end of my cases. Both ends is too much work. Good morning.
Sherlock: Phone Lestrade. Tell him there's an escaped rabbit.
Sherlock: Yes, if I wanted poetry I'd read John's emails to his girlfriends. Much funnier. (Sherlock)
Watson: Did we just break in to a military base to investigate a rabbit? (Sherlock)
Watson: Can we not do this this time?
Watson: I mean, this isn't a deerstalker now. It's a Sherlock Holmes hat. I mean that you're not exactly a private detective anymore. You're this far from famous.
Watson(Walks into the kitchen & spots a mannequin hanging by a noose): So. Did you just talk to him for a really long time? (Sherlock)
Watson: Don't do that.
Watson: I'm sensing a pattern here.
Sherlock: Brilliant, Anderson.
Molly(Talking to Sherlock): You look sad. When you think he can't see you. (She motions to John). (Sherlock)
Watson: Sherlock, I don't want the world believing you're...
Mike: "Hey Rachel…do I strut?"
Dean: PUDDING! (Supernatural)
Castiel: Hey! Assbutt! (Supernatural)
Bobby: Idjit. (Supernatural)
Dean: I'm Batman. (Supernautral)
Dean: Don't forget the pie! Bring me some Pie! ... Love me some pie. (Supernatural)
Jane: He's not gonna confess.
Rigsby: I look around, I don't see anyone here who could torture a man to death with pliers and a lit cigar.
Lisbon: Bad karma doesn't have an expiration date.
Jane: Calling? Is that what this is? A calling?
Jane: Mmm. I smell dead people. (The Mentalist)
Jane: If he's here, how is the killer gonna get to him?
Lisbon: You're going to hell.
Neal Caffrey: "Whatever I did, I have proof I didn't do it!" (White Collar)
Tony: Dr. Banner, your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.
Tony: You should come by Stark Tower sometime. Top 10 floors, all R&D, you'd love it. It's candy-land.
Captain America: Doc... I think now would be a good time for you to get angry.
Bruce: I don't think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him.
Tony(To Bruce): You really have got a lid on it, haven't you? What's your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed? (Avengers)
Steve Rogers: Is everything a joke to you?
Steve Rogers: Are you nuts?
Agent Phil Coulson(Over telephone): Mr Stark, we need to talk.
World Security Council: Director Fury, the council has made a decision.
Tony Stark(regaining consciousness): What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me!
Natasha Romanoff(Back to back firing at aliens): This is just like Budapest all over again.
Loki: How will your friends have time for me, when they'll be too busy fighting you?
Thor: Do not touch me again!
Tony Stark: That man is playing Galaga! Thought we wouldn't notice. But we did. (Avengers)
Loki: Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity.
(Loki awakens to find the Avengers staring at him)
Natasha Romanoff(All arguing in the lab): Are you all really that naive? S.H.I.E.L.D monitors potential threats.
Steve Rogers: Stark? We got him.
Tony Stark: Stark Tower is about to become a beacon of self-sustaining clean energy.
Thor: You listen well, brother. I...
Faceless Pilot: Target acquired.
Steve Rogers: Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?
Tony Stark(Covers his left eye & looks around): How does Fury even see these?
Nick Fury(To Loki): Well, let me know if 'real power' wants a magazine or something. (Avengers)
Tony Stark(To Steve Rogers): I'm not afraid to hit an old man. (Avengers)
Loki: I have the feeling that we should kiss right now.
Fury(Dressed up as Santa Clause): Merry Christmas, motherfuckers. (Avengers) (Quote By glambertcello From Their Fic. 'A New Dawn') Go Read It! NOW! XD
Iron Man 3(Warning Spoilers For The Movie):
Mandarin's Guard(After Tony defeats almost all Mandarin guards, the last one quickly surrenders): Don't shoot! Seriously, I don't even like working here. They are so weird! (IM3)
Jarvis: Mark 42 inbound.
The Mandarin: Don't shoot me in the face, I'm an actor. (IM3)
(Bruce Banner awakes)
Brandt: Is that all you've got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?
Pirates Of The Caribbean:
Captain Jack Sparrow: Me? I'm dishonest, and with a dishonest man, you can always trust him to be dishonest. Honestly, its the honest ones you have to watch out for because you never know when he's going to turn around and do something incredibly stupid. (Pirates Of The Caribbean)
Will Turner: You want me to find this? (Points to a cloth that Jack holds)
Jack Sparrow: I've got a jar of dirt! (Pirates Of The Caribbean:DMC)
Davy Jones: I keep the boy: 99 souls. But I wonder Sparrow, can you live with this? Can you condemn an innocent mind, a friend, to a lifetime of servitude in your name while you roam free?
Fang: Man, you way a freaking ton! What have you been eating? Rocks?
Max: Why? Is your head missing some? (Maximum Ride)
Angel: I can talk to fish!
Iggy: Can I come in?
Random Stuff I Thought Was Cool/Funny/Weird/True That I Got Off Other Peoples Profiles _
How to keep a steady level of insanity:(I Completely Recommend Doing Some Of these.) XP
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries With That.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana
7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
17. When The Money Comes Out Of The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy & Paste This To Make People Who Read Smile!
Things to do in an Elevator: (Seriously, Do Them)
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23) SAY I love you really loudly to anyone/anything that gets in then keep trying to kiss/hug them
How to Be Annoying: (They Really Work Too!) XD
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
Drum on every available surface.
Sing the Batman theme constantly.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Ask 0800 operators for their home phone number. If they don’t give it to you ask why they are calling YOU at home.
Sew department store anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Set alarms for random times.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Tape pieces of "Play School" over climactic parts of rental movies.
Borrow someone’s eraser, then when they ask for it back, throw it across the room, making sure it misses them, and shout “You sure cant catch!!”
In the middle of a long car trip, yell out, really loudly, “I need to pee’. To be even more annoying, do it just after you’ve left, or taken a pee break.
When on a long road trip, say “are we there yet’ every five minutes.
REDNECK SECURITY SYSTEM INSTALLATION: (Haven't Tried This One Yet.)
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 k > boots.>
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a > copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.>
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.>
4. Leave a note on your door that reads: 'Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, > I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with > the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up > real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from > all the blood.> PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.'>
Here's a joke...
there are 3 men who need to get across a lake...
the 1st one prays to God asking for the strength to get across...
he gets big muscles and swims across...
but almost dies 5 times...
the 2nd1 prays to God for the strength and the tools he needs to get across...
he gets his big muscles and boat and rows across...
but he almost dies 3 times...
the 3rd 1 prays to God, for the strength, tools, and the brains...
he turns into a woman...
walks 4 yards...
and crosses the bridge
50 Ways to Land Yourself In Detention: (I'm In College So We Don't Get Detention)
1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as you walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)
2. After everything your teacher says, ask why continuously.
3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?????” very loudly.
4. If your teacher starts blowing up at you for saying that, simply reply, “wow I can tell you’re a blast at parties”
5. Sit in a corner and wait for everyone to stare at you. When they do, grab your head and scream “ THE LIGHT! MAKE IT STOP! ARGH IT BURNS!!!!”
6. Flick pieces of paper around the class.
7. When your teacher tells you to stop, cross your arms and say, “Your racist against paper aren’t you.”
8. Don’t do your Homework.
9. When your teacher asks you why you didn’t do your homework say “I dropped it while beating up this guy for saying you’re the worst teacher ever.” then sit there and smile sweetly.
10. When you have a supply teacher, wait for them to write their name on the board. Then when they say hello my name it Mr./Mrs (insert name here), you stand up and say “PROVE IT!”
11. When your teacher asks why you were late say, “My goldfish died.” Then burst into tears.
12. When handing in your homework, write this paper will self-destruct in 5 seconds at the bottom.
13. When you leave the class bow and say, “May the force be with you, young one.”
14. When the teacher turns the light off, start singing opera as loud as you can. When they turn the light back on, look around pretending to be confused.
15. Whisper to the person next to you. When the teacher comes up behind you, scream “OMG GET AWAY! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!”
16. Walk into class dancing the Macarena
17. Tell your teacher you heard the other teachers talking about him/her in the staff room
18. Raise your hand and say "I totally agree" after everything your teacher says
19. Spend the whole lesson trying to lick your elbow
20. Speak in French.
21. Come late to class in a Spider-Man costume; say there was "a disturbance”
22. When they tell someone to turn around have everyone in class do it as well
23. "The homework’s due now? Oh, give me a minute then."
24. Hand in an essay where every word is mispelt.
25. Run in the room screaming, “THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!”
26. When the teacher asks you why you are late, say, “the queen is never late, everyone else is simply early”.
27. When a teacher asks you a question, say, “I’m sorry, the brain you tried to reach has been disconnected, please leave me alone or try again later, thank you.”
28. When the teacher turns on the overhead projector, scream “AAH MY EYES!!”
29. Tell yourself knock knock jokes, then laugh loads.
30. Hide under your desk and yell “THE SKY IS FALLING!”
31. When someone knocks on the door, shout “OH NO, THEY’RE COMING FOR ME!”
32. Bring in a year 7 and says he’s your new pet.
33. In your technology lesson, when the teacher asks you what you are making, say a nuclear bomb.
34. When your teacher asks you a question just stare at them.
35. Constantly talk to yourself in a low voice.
36. Purposely fall off your chair and make a big scene about it.
37. If you’re playing a really boring game, make a big deal if you win.
38. Glue all their scissors together.
39. Make paperclip jewellery. E.g. necklaces, earrings etc…
40. Pull out one strand of someone’s hair and yell “DNA!”
41. Wear a sticker or a badge that says ‘I am retarded’
42. Talk to a pen.
43. Put your hand up in a test and wait for your teacher to come over. When they whisper what’s wrong, yell “NO I WON’T SNOG YOU!”
44. Yell “LIAR!” to everything they say.
45. Smile. All the time.
46. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it bigger everyday. Look at it and say, “It’s spreading, IT’S SPREADING!”
47. When a supply teacher is taking the register, say everyone is missing. Then, if they ask who you are, say ‘Your worst Nightmare’
48. When you know the answer, bounce up and down a go " OOOHH I KNOW THIS"
49. When a teacher calls on you say, " I forgot"
50. If you have to blow your nose in class, blow your nose to the tune of your favourite song.
Beware the letter "G." It is the end of everything.
When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and yell, "Taste the freaking rainbow!"
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Suicide is our way of saying to God, "You can't fire me! I quit!"
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
Bad spellers... U NIGHT!!!
Don't say bad words, only the worst ones.
THINK. It's not illegal yet.
Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!
LOOK! a distraction!
Without ME you're just AWESO
Growing old is obligatory. Growing up is optional.
Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
I can't dial 911... there's no 11 on my phone.
You think I'm... SARCASTIC? Watch me pretend to care.
WHETHER IT'S BETWEEN TWO MALES, TWO FEMALES, OR A MALE AND A FEMALE, LOVE IS LOVE!! ...if you agree, put this in your profile.
A large percentage of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you are one of the ones that do and want to deck 'em, put this in your profile.
Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off its orbit" for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this into your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!
95% of teens would cry if they saw Justin Bieber at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are part of the 5 that would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell "DO A FLIP".
10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL:
10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks
9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies
8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly
7. Our magazines have horiscopes
6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around
5. Our friends don't say "hi" by punching us in the arm
4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month
3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have
2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket
1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing
This is the oath of a TURE FRIEND!
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask;
If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile.
If you are a die hard yaoi fangirl/fanboy, then hurry up and copy this to your profile!
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock (indie), put this in your profile.
If you have a tendency to talk to your self, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever crashed into a wall, then noticed that it was a wall then still apologized, copy/paste this onto your profile
If you have ever been called eccentric/enigmatic copy/paste this onto your profile
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile
If you don't watch Laguna Beach, Jersy Shore or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that life without computers is useless, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile
If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If reality continues to ruin your life, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you believe that fan clubs are the legal way to stalk someone, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a ninja, copy and paste this into your profile.
I once read that only math can save us now. Put this in your profile if you're screwed.
If you have ever crashed into a wall while you were sugar high, copy onto profile
.eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI
If you know our society is moving in the wrong direction, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever gone around poking random people copy and paste this into your profile
If you have said somthing you were thinking out loud without knowing, copy this into your profile.
If you have sung stupid/funny songs out loud, while skipping too. Copy and add this into your profile.
If you have done something stupid/dangerous with your friends/family members or alone, add this into your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.
If you're a certified Sociopath, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have actually considered getting an Impala for your first car, copy and paste this into your profile
If you die in an elevator, be sure to press the 'up' button.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If the world doesn't end December 21, 2012, I bet there'll be a lot of babies born in September, 2013.
If all your boyfriend want is breasts, thighs, and legs, tell him to go to KFC and get a value meal.
You might be a red-neck if:
If you've ever pronounced Canada, can-a-dee-uh...
If your children have driven a tractor/backhoe before they got the training wheels of their bike...
If you consider camo your favorite color...
If your daughter's dream car is a pick-up truck...
If your daughter's idea of a good time is trudging through the woods in the middle of winter...
If you/someone you know is a grammar freak but often says ain't...
If you can sing along to every song on your local country radio station, including some that are older than you...
If a bonfire is one of your favorite smells...
If your daughter walks in the garage in hunting season and the first thing she says is "Did you shoot anything yet?"...
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing, or a combination of both, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
1 - YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first three letters of your name and 'izzle')
2 - YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favourite colour and favourite animal)
3 - YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (your middle name and the street you live on)
4 - YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first three letters of your last name, first two letters of your first)
5 - YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (your second favorite colour, and favourite drink)
6 - YOUR IRAQI NAME: (second letter of your first name, third letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, second letter of your mum's maiden name, third letter of your dad's middle name, first letter of a sibling's first name, and last letter of your mum's)
7 - YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (your parents' middle names)
8 - YOUR GOTH NAME: (bloody and your pet's name)
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled 'BANG', I don't think you'd kill too many people.
We don't blame cars for drunk drivers, why blame guns for criminals?
I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
It's fun until somebody gets hurt. Then it's hilarious.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and wondered where the heck the ceiling was.
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Duct tape is like the force: it has a dark side, a light side, and holds the world together.
Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.
Guys: No shirt, no service. Girls: No shirt, no charge.
Worst excuse for not doing your homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy from.
You laugh because I'm different; I laugh because you're all the same.
You laugh because I'm different; I laugh because I just farted.
Wear short sleeves; support the right to bare arms!
What starts with 'F' and ends in 'Uck?' A Firetruck!
People are like Slinkies; good for nothing, but still put a smile on your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
I'm great in bed; I never fall out.
When someone sweeps you off your feet, remember you're in the perfect position to be dropped on your ass.
You know how you blow on hot food to cool it down? Am I the only one who notices doing it to ice cream too?
Dear Math, I am not a therapist. Go solve your own damn problems!
Dear Math, I cannot find your x. She's not coming back. Don't ask me y. Just get over it.
I don't care what they say, the guy who milked the first cow and drank what came out was just a perv.
I wonder why Dante's Inferno didn't have Math as one of the tortures of Hell...
The leading cause for divorce is marriage.
Remember: If someone insults you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 2 to reach out and bitch-slap them.
Dear Students, I can tell when you're texting in class; no one stares down at their crotch and just smiles.
I love it how, in horror movies, the woman calls out "Hello?" Like the killer's gonna say "Yeah, I'm in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?"
When life gives you lemons:
Give them back and demand candy.
Give them back and demand bacon.
Make grape juice, sit back, and wonder how on Earth you did it.
Make flock splatter art!
…In Remembrance to Severus Snape….
….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor…
...without all the red and gold crap.
…In Remembrance to Fred Weasley…
…Who fought bravely to the very end….
…And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half…
…And will loyally await his soul mate and brother…
… with many jokes…
...he's got forever to think of them, right?
…In Remembrance to Dobby…
…Who was more free and full of love…
...than any elf, and most humans.
….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin….
...the last real Marauderer...
…who was not just a wonderful father…
….a incredible husband and brave hero…
...as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf.
….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks…
…who died for ‘the greater good’…
...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.
…In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody….
…who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive…
...and scared the crap out of some kids too.
…In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort….
…who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger…
…but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end
…In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore…
…whose past and wisdom confused us…
…whose seeming betrayal shocked us…
…but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end...
...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing.
In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange…
… because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra!
She deserved everything she got and more.
…In Remembrance of Colin Creevey…
…who we really didn’t know too well…
…but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war…
…so he must’ve done something good…
…besides stalking Harry.
…In Remembrance of Hedwig…
...Harry actual first friend…
...who lived and died soaring.
1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
Meaning of color and your birthday!! Don 't cheat, If you are honest, this tells the truth. It's pretty good. Write your answers on a piece of paper, and NO cheating!, The answers are at the bottom.
1. Which is your favorite color out of: red , black , blue , green , or yellow?
2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?
4. Which color do you like more, black or white?
5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
6. Your favorite number?
7. Do you like Flying or Driving more?
8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?
9. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
When you're done, scroll down. (Don't cheat!) Answers:
1. If you choose: Red - You are alert and your life is full of love. Black - You are conservative and aggressive. Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue- You are spontaneous and love, kisses and affection from the ones you love. Yellow - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.
2. If your initial is: A-K You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum & your love life is soon to blossom. S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
3. If you were born in: Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good. Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.
4. If you chose: Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.
5. This person is your best friend. (I Was Surprised, Because I Don't Like The Person Very Much, So I Think It's A Bit Different For Me.)
6. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime. (7... That's Enough For Me.)
7. If you chose: Flying: You like adventure. Driving: You are a laid back person. (I Really Couldn't Choose Between Flying & Driving, I Really Love Both Of Them The Same.)
8. If you chose: Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people. (I Couldn't Really Choose Between These Either. I Love Lakes & Oceans, So Yeah.)
9. This wish will come true only if you re-post this in one hour as "Meaning of color and your birthday!" and it will come true before your next birthday.
I Don't Usually Post These Types Of Things, But I Really, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY Want To Meet Robert Downey Jr.! X3
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair).
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
“When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown
'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! I would hope so. Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!
Kids Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
TEACHER: Glen, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Johnny was in class one day, and the question the teacher asked her students was this: Does anyone know where God is? After asking this question only Johnny raised his whole arm and shook it back and forth, excitedly. The teacher knowing that Johnny was quite percocious and leary of calling upon him, she continued to solicit answers from the rest of her class. No other children responded. Reluctanly, she then asked Johnny where God was?
His answer was that God was in the bathroom. Surprised and reluctant, she then asked Johnny to explain. He answered, that every morning when he gets up, he hears his father banging on the bathroom door yelling, god are you still in there?
A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."
"What's the problem?" the doctor inquired.
"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away.
"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you."
The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face.
"Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.
"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women."
"So, what's your problem?"
"I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does."
Dumb Alabama Laws
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
You may not drive barefooted.
Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.
Masks may not be worn in public.
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
Words of Wisdom:
You’re a great friend, but if zombies chase us, I’m tripping you.
Friends are the ones who cry with you. Best friends are the ones who stand there with a shovel and ask who did it.
Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself! It's rude!
Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.
My voices tell me that your voices are dorks.
The odds don't worry me, I'm gambling with your life.
I don't have a short attention span! I just...oh look, a kitten!
Rawr! It means "I love you" in dinosaur.
Hold up! I can't hear you. Let me turn down my awesomeness...
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.
They don't know that we know that they know we know.
You'll always be my friend. You know too much.
The voices in my head are fighting again.
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.
Women are true magicians. They can make money disappear into thin air.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
I am so clever that sometimes even I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
Anyone who uses the phrase “easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried taking candy from a baby.
20 Things I Have In Common With Dean Winchester:
1. Music generally makes me feel better.
2. I don’t like chick flicks.
3. I don’t talk about my emotions.
4. Demons I get. People are crazy.
5. I like pie.
6. I like to drive fast.
7. I like flannel.
8. I’d as soon salt and burn your bones as talk to you.
9. I still own and use cassette tapes.
10. There’s nothing wrong with a little porn now and then.
11. There’s nothing wrong with a little random sex now and then.
12. Hitting something always makes me feel better.
13. Old muscle cars are awesome.
14. You can get the best junk food at a truck stop.
15. I don’t like to be alone, but I feel awkward in a crowd.
16. I don’t like hospitals.
17. Pop culture is all you need to make really good analogies.
18. I can raise one eyebrow.
19. Classic rock really does rock.
20. I always drive. Unless I’m dying.
When I walk out the portal, this is what I see
All the Avengers are coming for ME
I've got an army and some magic and I ain't afraid to
I'M LOKI AND I KNOW IT!!
"I am Loki, of Asgard. And I am burdened, with glorious purpose."
That Is All, You May Continue On To Read My Stories! X3