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Joined 09-23-11, id: 3280035, Profile Updated: 12-08-11
Author has written 5 stories for Harry Potter, and Twilight.

Hi this is Silver here. In case you haven't noticed my favorite topic is Harry Potter and I'm currently working on three stories for it but I should have some diffrent stories up soon. I haven't posted regularly before but with a new account I'm going to try, sorry if it's not soon enough but I try. I'm only 13 so please go easy with the reviews, but do review!

If I was a witch going to Hogwarts I would be in Ravenclaw, I'm intelligent but kinda scatterbrained so I'm like solving this hard math problem in my head or talking about the history of europe or something like that and I'll walk into a glass door.

Sorry about how long my profile is. Nothing important beyond this point. But reading it would be nice!

║██║ (Put this on your page if u like music)
║(o)║ music

( o.o )
(U U )

This is bunny. Copy and paste this bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination. (do it now)

█ The Stairs
██ Tripped UP
████ Ever
█████ Have
██████ You
███████ Page if
█████████ Your
██████████ On
███████████ Put This

--Girls-- --
--are like apples--
--on trees. The best ones--
--are at the top of the tree.--
--The boys don't want to reach--
--for the good ones because they-
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
-Instead, they get the rotten apples-
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples up top think
something is wrong w/ them when in
-reality they're amazing. They just-
-have to wait for the right boy to--
--come along, the one who's-
--brave enough to--
--climb all--
--the way--
--to the top--
--of the tree.--



Yaaaay Crookshanks!

(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination!

╔══╗ Put this on your Profile.
║██║ If you Love Music

(+'.'+) IF YOU HATE

x ╔╗╔╦══╦══╦══╦╗╔╗
x ║║║║╔╗║╔╗║╔╗║║║║ XxXxXxXxXxX
x ║╚╝║╚╝║╚╝╣╚╝╣╚╝║ xXxPotterxXx... Rules.
x ║╔╗║╔╗║╔╗║╔╗║╗╔╝ XxXxXxXxXxX
x ╚╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╝╚╝

¸.•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨) ¸.•¨).•´¨) ¸.•¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´(¸.•´(¸.•´(¸.•´(¸.•´ Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, died, or is living with cancer

╔╗╔═╦╗ Put this on your page
║╚╣║║╚╗ if you love to laugh!

¨°º¤ø„¸ PARAMORE ¸„ø¤º°¨ copy and paste
¸„ø¤º°¨ ROCK ON! °º¤ø„¸ if you think Paramore rocks!!

´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
«´¨• Lightning Thief •´¨» ´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
«´¨• Sea of Monsters•´¨» ´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
«´¨• Titan's Curse•´¨» ´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
«´¨•Battle of the Labyrinth•´¨» ´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
«´¨•Last Olympian•´¨»
¸.•(¸.•´ •.¸)•.¸

/▌ This is Bob! copy and paste him so he
/ \ can take over Fanfiction!

This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! Bold the ones that apply to you! (told you I'm scatterbrained!)

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it (do grapes count?)
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door (I've also nearly run right into a wall as well.)
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in

38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard (I've done this with bread and cheese.)
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident

41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up (This tends to happen more while I'm on my bed.)
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were

56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions (fourth grade. The directions said to just write your name. It was a following directions test)
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone

87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs

97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth.

75/100 Damn I'm dumb

Random things:

If you want to see a Quidditch match copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this to your profile. (How much do you like chocolate?)

If you cried during/after reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, copy this to your profile.

If you cried when Fred Weasley died (in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows), and not afraid to admit it, copy, paste this on your profile.

If you're one of the few people who actually reads profiles, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Harry Potter, copy this into your profile.

If you liked Snape after Deathy Hallows copy and paste this in your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.(I've been reading fanfiction for 8 hours, its 4am)

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing, or a combination of both, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

If you've ever snuck on fanfiction when you were supposed to be doing something else, say, your homework, copy and paste into your profile

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile(many times)

If you read Deathly Hallows in under a week, copy and paste this,then add your name and how long it took you to read the book, (Cannotstopwriting - 1 day),(jasmineflower27 - 3 days),(ArianaRae - 2 days), (Susly - 1 day) (Lily.and.Alice - 3 hours) (Dimcairien - 2 days) (Silver’ssong- 7 hours(straight no breaks AT ALL)

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile.

92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Repost this if you are one of the 8 percent who would be laughing your ass off.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love silly/stupid/funny/inspirational or meaningful Quotes, copy this to your profile.

If you ever threatened a computer, copy and paste this in your profile.

If the Voices of your characters threaten to drive you Mad (or Madder) copy this to your profile.(I'm definatly already mad)

If your Characters talk to you in your head, copy this to your profile.

If YOU respond/talk to your Characters, copy this to your- SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU! I'M NOT WRITING YOUR STORY RIGHT NOW!- profile.

If you are a chocoholic copy this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love random copy and paste quotes, copy and paste this on your profile!

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

IF you think that the first sign of madness in NOT! talking to yourself but instead receiving an answer copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, deathxbyxdawnxgurl, weasleybabe24, ga nat nat, evil older sister, Frozenfan, slygirl16, Raxacoricofallapatorius, zotlot, StardustFromThePlanetGallifrey, Mrs. Fantasy, Dimcairien, Silver’ssong

If you don't write or read slash, copy and paste this into your profile

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you can read that please put it in your profile.

Remus LupinSirius BlackGinny WeasleyHermione GrangerFred WeasleyGeorge WeasleyLily Evans/PotterNeville LongbottomDobbyTom Riddle/VoldemortSeverus SnapeTonks

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

George Weasley and Snape. The idea disturbs me

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

I’m straight so I can’t answer that

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Tonks get Neville pregnant, I don’t see how that is possible

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Yeah, there's quite a few I even wrote one.

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Sirius and George Weasley, no.

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Fred/Dobby or Fred/Voldemort. Fred/Dobby because Dobby isn’t all snake like but it still wouldn’t work, people usually try to stay in the same species

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Lily walk in on Sirius and Tonks having sex? She'd probably yell at Sirius

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

Ginny/Voldemort. Ginny is captured by Voldemort and he is planning to use her as bait for Harry but ends up falling in love with her. Who knew he could love?

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Remus and Neville? Probablybut I hope not.

10. Suggest a title for a Eight/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

Neville and Voldemort as a hurt/comfort? Is that even possible? Um howbout, Who knew he cared

11. If you wrote a songfic about Twelve, what song would you choose?

Um, I have no idea. My knowledge of songs is rather limited.

12. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Remus ,George,and Tonks. Hmm, some craziness, pranking, romance and shapshifting.

13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Fred Weasley. Today.

14. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (7) runs off with (4). (1), broken hearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).”

Remus and Lily are in a happy relationship until Lily runs off with Hermione. Remus, broken hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Serverus Snape and a brief unhappy affair withTonks, then follows the wise advice of Fred and finds true love withGinny.

That's just wrong.Remus isn't gay, and even if he was, he wouldn't have affairs with his enemyand he is perfect foe Tonks and is not a pedophile.

15. Would 3 and 7 make a good couple?

Ginny and Lily. No. They are straight and Lily is dead before Ginny is born.

16. How would 9 react if 11 died?

Dobby might be sad if Snape dies…maybe

17. Who would most likely join the Order of the Phoenix, 6, 3, 9, or 10?

George, Ginny, Dobby, and Voldemort, all of them with the exeption of Voldy.

18. Who would most likely become a death eater, 2, 5, 8, or 11?

Sirius, Fred, Neville, or Snape. Definatly Snape, he already is one.

19. Who would make a better couple, 6 and 9 or 2 and 4?

George and Dobby or Sirius and Hermione? Both of them would end in disaster, but at least Sirius and Hermione are the same species.

20. Who would you rather have as a sibling, 3, 6, or 7?

Ginny, George, or Lily. Hard choice, but I'd probably have to go with Lily because she seems the most understanding.

21. Who's more likely to watch TV right now, 6, 9, or 11?

George, Dobby, or Snape. Well, none of them probably know what TV is, but my guess would maybe George because he would think that its funny,.

22. Who would you rather marry, 1, 4, 6, 8, or 11?

Remus, Hermione, George, Neville, or Snape. I'd have to go with either George or Neville.

23. Write a summary for a tragedy fanfiction about 5 and 9.

Fred and Dobby. Fred and Dobby meet up in the afterlife telling war stories and reliving the past.

24. For a fanfiction about 2 and 8, what would the genre(s) most likely be?

Sirius and Neville. Probably humor.

25. Who would most likely kill who, 1 kill 2 or 9 kill 5?

Remus kills Sirius or Dobby kills Fred. Probably the first one, but Remus wouldn’t do it on purpose, it would be if he gets too out of control as a werewolf.

26. Who would make the best Auror, 6, 9, or 3?

George, Dobby, or Ginny. I would say Ginny because George is too much of a prankster and Dobby is an elf.

27. Who's most likely to have more kids than the Weasleys, 4, 6, or 10?

Hermione, George, or Voldemort. Voldemort because he would want to build an army of them to take over the world.

28. Who's better looking, 6 or 9?

George or Dobby? George

29. Would you rather adopt 1, 5, 6, or 12?

Remus, Fred, George, or Tonks. Tonks.


Are you obsessed with Harry Potter?


Could You Prove That Statement In Court?


Do You Know Any Of The Characters Middle Name’s?


What’s Hermione’s?


What’s Ron’s?


What’s Harry’s?


What’s Ginny’s?


Have You Seen All The Movies?


Read All The Books?


What Do You Think Of JKR?

One of the best authors ever.



Fred and George

Character, Overall?

Remus Lupin or Sirius Black

Female character


Male Charcter?

Sirius Black or Remus Lupin

Group Of Characters?

The Marauders




Remus Lupin






Anything chocolate


The Room of Requirement

Weasley Twin?

How can someone say one is better than the other?


Patented Daydream Charms



Least Favorites



Character, Overall?



Umbitch or Umbridge, if you can call her female


Lucius Malfoy


Umbridge. How many times do I have to say it?


Marietta Edgecomb.




Probably Order of the Phoenix


Snape/Hermione or anything not straight


I think acid Pops

Death Eater?

Crabbe or Goyle.


Borgins and Burkes


Malfoy Manor


Lockhart. He was just plain annoying even worse than Quirrell.

Couples? What Do You Think?


Nope, they just don't go together well










Gets sick*






Uh, she's already married.






Not her type (even if she was supposed to be paired with Fred in the books)


Yes! One of the best couples ever!




Are you Sirius?(Haha geddit)


No way.


Yes! Yes! Yes! The best couple ever!


Not really.


Maybe, if Fred hadn't died.


Yeah, they're perfect for each other.



This Or That?

Harry or Ron?


Hermione or Ginny?


Neville or Seamus?


Snape or Slughorn?


Fred or George?

Both of them. How many times do I have to say that?

Harry/Ginny or Harry/Hermione?


Ron/Hermione or Harry/Hermione?


Harry/Hermione or Harry/Luna?

Neither of them.

Ron/Hermione or Ron/Luna?


Hermione/Krum or Harry/Hermione?

Neither of them.

Ron/Lavander or Ron/Hermione?


ButterBeer or Fire Whiskey?


Hog’s Head Or The Three Broomsticks?

Three Broomsticks

James/Lily or Snape/Lily?


Hogwarts or Hogsmeade?


Hogsmeade Or Diagon Alley?


Malfoy Manor or Knockturn Alley?

Malfoy Manor.

Beartie Bott’s or Fizzing Whizbees?

Beartie Bott's

Witch Weekly Or The Daily Prophet?

Witch Weekly, the Daily Prophet isn't very truthful.

Rita Skeeter or Barty Crouch?

Which Barty Crouch are we talking about?

Gyrffindor or Ravenclaw?



Have you Been to A Release Party?

No, but I really want to.

Ever cried while reading one of the books?

Yes, many times

A Movie?


Had A Dream About Harry Potter?

Many, many, many, many times. How do you think I get ideas for fanfics?

Been To A Fansite?


Been to JKR’s Site?


Have You Ever Roleplayed?


If So/Do..Who were you/ are you?

I'm a character that I've made up. The RP I'm part of takes place after the books.

Did you use to have an absurd theory?


What was it?

That Dumbledore was working with Voldy

Did you/Do you hide your obbsession?

Not at all

Did it/ Does it work?


Ever dressed up like a Character? For Halloween or Just No Reason at all?

For no reason, many times. Usually just around the house but once I accidentally when to the mall wearing wizard robes and a cape holding a wand.

Ever noticed That You can’t “Spell Hermione without Ron”?


Notice That If Harry&Hermione Got Married They’d Have EXACT Same Initials?

Yeah, so what doesn't mean they should

Did you just try to prove that wrong?


Have you noticed That Lily Evans And Ginny Weasley are a lot alike?


Do you find it weird that Harry & His Dad Fell In Love With Girls So A Like?

No. Potters always go for the red-heads.

Do you know what fanfiction is?

Yes( What do you think this is)

Ever Been To A Fanfiction site?

Yes.(Do you have mental issues)

Are you a member of a fanfiction site?


What site?

This one.(Siriusly?)

Do you write fanfiction?


Do you like to write fanfiction?


Ever had Harry Potter Candy?


Do you own a lot of Harry Potter Stuff?


Do you have Harry Potter Scene It?

I wish

Do You Have A Harry Potter Shirt?


What Character Are You Most Often Compared Too?


Do You Agree With This?


What Are They?


Do you object to being Called By them?


Are Your friends Supportive of your obsession?

Well, none of my friends are very big HP fans.

Do you have any inside jokes that relate to Harry Potter?


What’s One?(You don’t have to explain)

Go jump on a trolls back

Do you relate a lot of things to Harry Potter?


Do you love being obsessed With Harry Potter?


Do you wish that you went to Hogwarts?

You bet I do.

Have you re-read the books?

Yes, at least 5 times each, most at least 10

Have you had A Harry Potter Themed Party?


Have You Had An RP Party?


Do You Want To?


Have you ever read a Harry Potter Musical?


Have You Ever Wrote One?


Do You Want To?


Have you ever entered A Contest TO Win Something Harry Potter?


If You Wrote A Hogwarts Musical Would You Let People Read it

Why do you think I’m on this site?

Are You Going To Write One?


IS The Musical Thing Annoying You?


Am I more annoying than Rita Skeeter?

No, I don't think anything can be more annoying than her, except perhaps Lockhart.


...A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor...

...without all that red and gold crap...


...Who fought bravely to the very end...

...And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half...

...And will loyally await his best mate and brother...

...with many jokes...

...he's got forever to think of them, right?


...Who was more free and full of love...

...than any other elf, and most humans.


...the last real Marauder...

...who was not just a wonderful father... incredible husband and brave hero... well as a freakin' awesome werewolf.


...who died for 'the greater good'...

...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.


...who's motto 'CONSTANT VIGILANCE' kept him alive...

...and scared the crap out of some kids too.


...who we really didn't know too well...

...but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war... he must've done something good...

...besides stalking Harry.


...Harry's first actual friend...

...who lived and died soaring.


..who was heartless and evil...

..but the most badass villain the world has seen in awhile..

..who seemed to think a one year old was threatening him...


..who died for being at the wrong place at the wrong time..

..and who shall forever be the spirit of what Hufflepuff stood for..


…whose past and wisdom confused us…

…whose seeming betrayal shocked us…

…but who actually turned out to be an okay guy in the end...

...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing..


..batshit crazy, not to mention totally heartless..

..but she makes a pretty incredible villain..

..her laughing would sound amazing when you think about it..


..who seemed to be enemies in school..

..but then they end up married..

..and they died protecting their son from a lunatic that felt a one year was threatening him..


..who was considered a mass-murderer..

..and was pretty reckless.. know, I can't think of anything else to say..

..Sirius Black lived and died doing what he said he would do..

..for his friends...
(from raider09's profile)

Dear Wizard Community of Forks, Washington,

It has come to our attention that a Dark Wizard has made a Inferi of Cedric Diggory, now going by the name of Edward Cullen. He is known to be running around with an unregistered Animagus, Jacob Black. If you have any information about their whereabouts, contact the Ministry of Magic.

Sincerely, Minister for Magic.

Dear Chemistry Teachers,

Please stop trying to be like Severus Snape; it's not happening.

Sincerely, Kids Everywhere

PLEASE READ. If this doesn't touch you... wow.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't

forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for

the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that

mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister

is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .sSS... ... ..sS... ... ... ... ... ... ... . If you're a girl and you've ever
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... sSSS? ... ... .s..sS³ ... ... ... ... ... . beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSS. ... .sS.. sSS³.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . copy the Flaming Heart
... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSSS³.. ... .sS.. .SS³ . ... ... ... ... ... ... ... into your profile!
... ... ... ... ... ... . SSSSS... ... ... sS³... ³S.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . (sorry guys, girls only)
... ... ... ... S. ... .SSSSSSs ... ... .sS³... ³,
... ... ... ...sS. ... ³SSSSSSSs. ... .SSS.. ... .
... ... ... ... SS ... .³SSSSSSs.. ... ³SSs ,
... ... ... ...³S. ... .³SSSSSSSs .sSSS.. ... ..
... ... ... ... SS... ... ³SSSSS..SSSS... s³
... ... ... ... ³SSs ... ...³SSSSSSSSS³ ... sS³
... ... ... ... .³SSs... ... ..SSSSSsSSSS ... sSS
... ... ... ..s...SSSS ... ..sSSSSSSSS³. ..s SS³
... ... ... .SS.. sSSSS..sSSSSSSSSSSSSS S³
... ... ...sSSSssssSSSSSSSSSSsssssssSSS
... ... SSs§§§§§§§§§sSSSSs§§§§§§§§§SS
... ...³§§§§§§§§§§§§§sSs§§§§§§§§§§§§§³
... ..§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§s§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
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Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't. (I don't own this)

this is this cat

this is is cat

this is how cat

this is to cat

this is keep cat

this is a cat

this is retard cat

this is busy cat

this is for cat

this is forty cat

this is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on


1. Get 24 random boxes and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone," 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things

Harry Potter is awesome! Copy and paste this if you agree

Percy Jackson kicks butt! Copy and paste this if you agree

Bella sucks! Copy and paste this if you agree

Please note that the twilight series is one of the worst I have ever read and that Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Maximum Ride, Witch and Wizard, I am number 4 and many others that I can't think of right now are awesome books and way better than the movies, even I am number 4 even though the movie was awesome. PLease read these books if you have not already or all the main evil people from these books will make you listen to Miley Cyrus for 5 days non stop! These evil people will include Voldemort, Kronus, The School, The One Who Is The One, and a bunch of crazy ponies.!!!!!!!!!!!!

98 of kids would DIE if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you are 1 of the 2 that would laugh their heads off at the others.

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If one part of you is calm and the other part like to stand on their head and sing theme songs,copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

If your part of the .0000000001 percent of people who does NOT have a MySpace, copy and paste this into your profile

If you get a kick out of explosions, put this in your profile

If you have ever gotten a song stuck in your head that you only know a few words to, and then gotten so fed up that you looked the lyrics up online just so that you could have so

If you already have a gajillion of these "copy this into your profile" things, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with something childish for your age, copy this into your profile.

If you ever ran into the door, copy this into your profile

If you still need the alphabet to remember the letter's order, copy this to yout profile.

If you've ever tripped down the stairs, add this to your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, add this to your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile

If there are times where you DO annoy people just for the heck of it, copy and paste this into/onto/in your profile/bio.

If you've ever written stuff on your car windows when they're covered in condensation, copy this to your profile

If you can think of at least one person you would like to push down a well copy this into your profile.

LOL If u have ever dun anything stupid in your life copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you really have no idea how this copy and pasting stuff started, but enjoy it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless (but fun), and you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have read every single one of these up to here, award yourself 5 points and copy this somewhere into your profile.

If you think Justin Bieber is annoying, copy and paste this into your profile

If you don't like Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you don't like Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana/Destiny Hope Cyrus/Whatever She's Calling Herself Now, copy and paste this into your profile

93 percent (or something like that) of teenagers and children would go insane if the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus were about to jump off a skyscraper and die. Copy and paste this into your profile if you are part of the 7 percent that would grab popcorn, a chair, and scream 'JUMP! JUMP! JUMP'

can you blveiee tihs? (Don't own)

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh i awlyas kenw i was strnage. =)

These are some of my favorite quotes from Percy Jackson and The Olympians! (I didn't make up the quotes. Rick did)

"With great power, comes the great need to take a nap. Wake me up later." -Nico Di Angelo, THE LAST OLYMPIAN

"God alert! It's the wine dude!" -Blackjack (Percy's pegasus), THE TITANS CURSE

"Let us find the dam snack bar." Zoe said

"The dam snack bar?"

"Yes. What is funny?"

"Nothing." Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fires."

"And I need to use the dam restroom."

"I do not understand"

"I want to use the dam water fountain."

"And. . .I want to buy a dam T-shirt." -Thalia, Zoe, Grover, Percy, THE TITANS CURSE(my fave in whole series)

"Go chase a doughnut." -Percy, THE SEA OF MONSTERS

Deadlines just aren't real to me unless I'm staring one in the face. -Percy, THE LIGHTNING THEIF

I'll have a cheeseburger and-AHHH! My friend's on fire! Get me a bucket! -Jason, THE LOST HERO

Even before he got electrocuted, Jason was having a rotten day. -THE LOST HERO

"See, that's what happens to snow in Texas, lady. It-freaking-melts."--Leo, THE LOST HERO

You know how teachers always tell you the magic word is please? That's not true. The magic word is puke. It will get you out of class faster than anything else. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES(has anybody actually tried this?)

"Well. . .See you."

"Hold up! you can't just run off."

"Sure I can." -Clarisse and Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES

That's one good thing about sea serpents: They're big babies when it comes to getting hurt. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES

It's great when you're a celebrity to squids. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES

"It's all right. We just had a family spat."

"Family spat? You turned me into a dandelion!" -Persephone and Nico, THE DEMIGOD FILES

Now Thalia and Nico would have to haul my useless butt through the rest of the mission. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride) Natalie-07 (Jack Sparrow, I know I know he's older then my dad but it's not like we're actually dating!) Silverstar's Shadow (Kratos Aurion (like practically every other girl who plays ToS religiously), Yuan (damn the people who decided to never tell you his last name!), Sirius Black (not Gary the Old Man... I imagined him to look a little more like Adam from Three Days Grace... hehe... Ahem.), Draco Malfoy), Darkstorm Mistystar's Legacy (Jasper Cullen...sigh), OokamiRyuX (don’t wanna say) Crowfeather's Girl (Edward Cullen from Twilight, of course!) AkumuKitty9797(Dark Link from Legend of Zelda and Edward Cullen from Twilight!!), HiddenMusic(Sora from Kingdomg Hearts:D) Zefri012: Leaf (heroine of Pokemon fire red/leaf green. Oh come on! She's too adorable!), Defiatos X-Natsumi from Keroro gunso (crosses finger and hopes Giroro doen't try to kill me), ej8012 (Nico di Angelo, lol and Red X from Teen titans (Guess I have a thing for dark peoples)), AnnleaDaughterofZeus,(Nico Di Angelo), Flockgirl (Nico di Angelo 'Percy Jackson', Gaara 'Naruto', Toushiro Hitsugaya 'Bleach', Fang "Maximum Ride', Zero 'Vampire knight', The Twins and Kyouya 'Ouran high school host club', Otani 'Lovely Complex') I'm Hopeless! FutureNovelist887(Percy Jackson himself.) Di Angelo Grace Jackson321 (Nico Di Angelo! WOOHOO!) awesomegrl77(Luke Castallan[yes, even though he's evil, Will Treaty, Fang, Abarai Renji, Uchiha Sasuke and the Draco Malfoy puppet in potter puppet pals[youtube]! Holy shit with a halo that's a long list! And I'm adding to it! Hikaru and Mori from Ouran High Host Club and Negi Springfield from Negima!?[I have GOT to stop reading all those mangas!]), Silver’ssong(I

"Diamonds are a girl’s best friend...because they're shaper then knives."

"Boys are like lava lamps fun to look at, but not very bright."

"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on eBay."

"I don’t suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it."

"Every time you act stupid, the bunny hits his head. Please think of the bunny!"

"When I said 'I'd hit that.' I meant with my car."

"I'm the type of girl who will laugh at a scary movie, but screams bloody murder when toast pops out the toaster."

"I need tacos or I'll explode... I do that sometimes"


You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.

You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It'skinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors. My name is SILVER’ssong for a reasonJ
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
Sleep with your socks on at night (sometimes)



You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies. (Is shopping a hobby)
You were in gymnastics/dance
You hate the star wars movies.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing


That's kind of sad but even more sad is that my bro would get most of the girl ones and almost 0 of the guy ones!

I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.
I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.
I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on Facebook, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.
I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year.
I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.

Add your name to the list if you are a girl who people can call a freak, and you will say, "What was your first clue?". Sorry, this isn't the original one. I had some trouble copying and pasting. :P(I got this whole thing off Di Angelo Grace Jackson's profile including that)

Di Angelo Grace Jackson :O)


I got this off The Vampire Alchemist's profile!

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen Teetering On The Brink Of Insanity Past The Point Of No Return ManLife Sucks, Avatarwolf lilly1542, Itachifanchick, Silver-Arrow-Kitsune-Girl, Dark Wolf on a full Blood, Xx-Erin-xX-AthrunxCagallifan Crowfeather Ftw Shari.marie, It.Is.Real, awesomegrl77, Silver’ssong

/\ /\ This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny
(='.'=) into your profile to help him gain
(")_(") world domination.

Hello! I would just like to say my friend and I, Sarala23, have made a joint account called TwoTotallyAwesomeWriters. We haven't posted anything yet, but we will soon, but our profile is very...interesting...yes, interesting...

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella.
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'My friend does this to me and I do it to another friend! It's fun!

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin, "THAT WAS FRICKING AWESOME!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore/Cry with you.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Return your stuff right away.
BEST FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste."

FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
BEST FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
BEST FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?' I did that for my friend! Actually, me and a few others were the ones that broke up with him for er another time...

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter.
BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this crap!!



You drink a lot of tea.

You know what a brolly is.

Deal or No Deal has taken over your life.

You wanted Alex to win X Factor.

You use the word "bugger"or the phrase "bloody hell."

Fish and Chips are yummy

You can eat a Full English Breakfast.

You dislike emos almost as much as you dislike chavs. (I love emos)

Its football.. not ... soccer.

Total: 5


You wear flip flops all year (I'm weird like that...)

You call flip flops thongs not flip flops

You love a backyard barbie.

You know a barbie is not a doll.

You love the beach.

Sometimes you swear without realizing.

You're a sports fanatic.

You are tanned (I kinda am)

You're a bit of a bogan.

You have an australian something



The Sopranos is a great show.

Your last name ends in a vowel.

Your grandmother or mother makes her own sauces.

You know how a real meatball tastes.

You know Italian songs.

You have darkish hair.

You speak SOME Italian.

You are under 5'10''.

Pizza/spaghetti is the best food in the world.

You talk with your hands

Total: 4


You say member instead of remember. Sometimes...

You speak Spanish

You like tacos.

You know what a Puta is

You talk fast.

You have had highlights or have dyed your hair.

You know what platanos are.

You've said Te Amo or Te Quiero

Total: 3


You say villain as: Vee-lon.

You have more than one vodka bottle in your house

You know the difference between channel 1 and rtvi

You know of somebody named Natasha.

You don't get cold easily.

You get into contests all the time.

You can make do with the cold weather.

You love listening to trance

Total: 4


Your parents let you drink

You know what a pizda is

You have Pierogi at least once a week

People always ask to see your "kielbasa" checking if your Polish

People randomly call you their best friend (and vice versa)

You have made/know what pisanki are

You laughed when Poland beat the USA in the 2002 world cup

Total: 0


You think beer is the best.

You have a bad temper.

Your last name starts with a Mc, Murph, O', Fitz or ends with a y, on, un, an,en, in, ry, ly.

You have blue or green eyes.

You like the color green.

You have been to a St. Paddys day party.

You have a family member from Ireland.

You have/had freckles.

Your family get togethers always include drinking.

You have an odd love of leprechauns

You have four leaf clovers

Total: 8


You have slanty/small eyes.

You eat rice a lot.

You are good at math.

You have played the piano.

You have family from Asia.

You laugh sometimes covering your mouth.

Most people think you're Chinese.

You have glasses/contacts.

You call hurricanes typhoons.

You go to Baulko.

You play Handball more than once a week

You know what DDR is

Total: 4


You like bread.

You think American Chocolate is good.

You Speak some German. Very little, but what I know is funny!

You know what Schnitzel is.

You hate it when stupid people call you a Nazi.

You went to Pre-school.

You're over 5'10".

You know the real meaning of "Fag".

You make pretty words sound scary.

You enjoy watching the military.

You know that GUMMY BEARS were invented in Germany.

Total: 6


You like to ride 4 wheelers.

You love beer.

You say eh.

You know what poutine is.

You speak french

You love Tim Horton's.

At one point you lived in a farm house.

You watch/watched Degrassi.

You play/ played hockey or watch it.

You know who Massari is.

Total: 4


You like french toast.

You love wine.

You speak a little or are fluent in French

You have eaten a snail.

You like fashion.

You have been to France

You are either a Catholic, a Muslim, a Protestant or a Jew.

You say "Zut" instead of damn

You own a beret.

You actually know what a beret is.

Total: 4


You hate foreigners.

You hate non - Christians.

You've been to more then 5 states.

You're lazy.

You are not cultured.

You don't read.

You shop at walmart.

You spell colour "color".

Total: 3


You're very loud.

Your family alone makes a small city.

You blast music Saturday morning to clean the house.

You share a bathroom with 5+ people.

You say "open the light" instead of "turn on the light".

You go to church every Sunday.

You always have a "to go plate" when leaving from a party.

You have a last name that's hard to pronounce.

You eat potatoes with the skin ON it. (sometimes)

Total: 0

Brown (Indian, Guyanese, etc)

You know who Shahrukh Khan and Hrithik Roshan are.

You get crazy over Hollywood actors and actresses!

You know what the movie Dhoom 2 is.

You can eat really good spicy food!

You have lots and LOTS of spices at your home.

You came or live in Toronto and have been to Gerrard St.

You have any sort of ATN channel.

You know what koothi, kootha, or banchod is.

You love eating Tandoori Chicken.

You have relatives you've never even heard of.

Total: 3


You are smart in math or science

Your mom or dad are either doctors or engineers.

All you eat is kabab and kofta

Your parents have one car that's a Toyota

Your house actually does not smell like food.

You have like 67890 middle name.

Total: 3


You have been to a pow wow

You have a native name

You are more than a quarter native

You know what tribe your ancestors were in

You have painted your face like a warrior

You have been to a native exhibit out of school

You play/played lacrosse

You have eaten salmon

total: 1


You can tell the difference between a Scottish & Irish accent

one of your family members has an accent

you actually don't mind bagpipes

Scottish recipes are in your household somewhere

you've heard the song "Scotland the brave"

no matter what, there will ALWAYS be whiskey at family gatherings

any team playing England is your best friend

you have tried haggis

you drink tap water

you know Edinburgh is pronounce "Edin-buura"

total: 4

New Zealand

you get annoyed that people only remember your country because of how many sheep are there

you know what a barbie is


you know what an 'Aussie' is

you know that NZ is famous only because of lord of the rings

you like chocolate fish /or pineapple lumps

you know what L&P is and you like it!

total: 2

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books.I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him.

So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.'

He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'

There was a big smile on his face.It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes.We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!' He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation.I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.

Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great.He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!

Today was one of those days.I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.' I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.

I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.

You now have two choices, you can :1) Put this on your profile or 2) Forget you read this and act like it didn't touch your heart. As you can see, I took choice number 1.
'Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.'

There is no beginning or end.. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present.

Gay marriage:

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed. DESTROYED, I TELL YOU!
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage


No matter how bad you feel, someone always feels worse. Unless you're the most hopeless sod in the world, but my belief is that's God (if he/she exists).

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile(many times)

If YOU respond/talk to your Characters, copy this to your- SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU! I'M NOT WRITING YOUR STORY RIGHT NOW!- profile.

Harry > Voldemort, Voldemort > Cedric, and Cedric = Edward. So, Harry > Voldemort > Edward. Therefore, Harry > Edward. So, Harry Potter > Twilight.

If you agree with this form of logic, copy and paste this into your profile.


[x] You’ve never done illegal drugs.
[ ] You have a lot of friends. (sort of)
[x] You get along with everyone.
[x] You haven’t made fun of someone for at least two months.
[ ] You love soccer.
[ ] You love baseball.
[x] You’re into writing and art.
[x] Favourite music genre is pop rock.
[x] You believe in "innocent until proven guilty" theory. (sometimes not though, depends on the person)
[ ] One of your favourite colours is red or gold. (gold is sort of like yellow)
[x] Good grades at school.
[ ] One of the worst things you can do is lie.
[x] You plan on going to college/university.

[x] You’re content with mostly everything in your life right now.
[x] You laugh a lot.
[ ] You like to follow trends.
[x] Politics suck.
[x] You love to swim.
[ ] Water polo is awesome.
[ ] Pink is one of your favourite colours.
[ ] Black is morbid & depressing.
[x] You’re an optimist.
[ ] You’re completely straight edged.
[ ] You’re very emotional.
[ ] Rap, R&B, & hip-hop is your favourite music genre.
[ ] You don’t believe in going steady at a young age.
[ ] You’ve made fun of at least one person this week.

[ ] You’re depressed to a certain extent.
[x] You love to read.
[x] You appreciate theatre & arts.
[x] Sports suck.
[x] You’re shy. (getting over that)
[ ] Loyalty is the MOST important thing in a relationship.
[ ] Hate is completely unneeded.
[ ] Indie is your favourite genre of music.
[x] Every once in awhile you have little anger outbursts.
[x] Lying is sometimes okay.
[x] Blue is one of your favourite colours.
[ ] Serious is better than funny.

[x] There’s at least one person you hate.
[ ] Basketball is a good sport.
[ ] Football is amazing.
[x ] Black is a cool colour.
[x ] You’ve lied about something serious.
[x] You’re a very deep person.
[ ] You have considered suicide.
[ ] Very loyal.
[ ] You like metal.
[x] They make school seem more important than it is.
[x] You’re scared to grow up.
[ ] You’ve done drugs in the past month.
[ ] Anger is one of your primary feelings.
[x] You have trust issues.
[ ] Guilty until proven innocent.


The Harry Potter Pledge

If I get a facial scar,

I'll think of Harry P

And if my brothers take all control

I'll think of Ron Weasley

If my hair is like a bush

I'll think Hermione G

Or if I feel too overworked

I'll think of poor Dobby

And if I feel just like a snoot

I'm Draco M that day

If I am simply just a hoot

I'm Hedwig all the way

If I feel way too wise and old

I'll think of Dumbledore

Or I'll be dear old Neville L

Any time I snore

I'll think of Hagrid every time

The food is just too bad

And Voldemort will fill my mind

Whenever I am mad

My blood will run gold every time

That I am truly brave

Or I'll be a Marauder

When I simply can't behave

Sevy Snape will be my guy

When love is complicated

And I'm Delores Umbridge

When I am simply hated

Hogwarts is my only home

Until I'm cold and dead

And when I put down one of the books

It won't be left unread

I pledge my life to Harry P

And the magic world around

Cuz JKR has touched my life

And to Harry James Potter, I am bound

You say Twilight
I say Harry Potter
You say vampires
I say wizards
You say Jacob Black
I say Sirius Black
you say Team Edward
I say Team Potter
You say Robert Pattison
I'll say "is Cedric Diggory"
You think Bella and Edward are the perfect dream couple?
I think that's James and Lily
You say Edward
I'll say Harry, now STUPEFY

Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is.

Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’.

Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever.

Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hogwarts has seen in a while.

Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her.

Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Liege’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’.

Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy.

Draco Malfoy … disagrees.

Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand.

Ron Weasley … is very afraid.

Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much.

Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat.

Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out.

George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry.

Oliver Wood... has heard every single joke possible about his name. No, that is not a challenge.

Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter.

James Potter … doesn’t believe her.

Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’.

Sirius Black … Escaped Azkaban, evaded Dementors, outwitted Ministry, killed by drapery.

Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences.

Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane.

Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush.

Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’.

Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence.

Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.

Slytherins … will push someone else off.

Hufflepuff's… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.

Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet

You know you live in 2011 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2. Hi.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have an AIM/Facebook/OoVoO/Skype

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7.As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

8. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

9. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

10. You were too busy to notice number five.

11. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.

12. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

13. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did.

War is not decided by those who are right but by those who are left.

The worst torture is not physical. It's hearing your friends scream.

"You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip." - Jonathon Carroll

Dear Parents. Jasmine was in a relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin. Snow White ran away from home to live alone with seven unmarried men. Pinocchio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked around in the nude. Sleeping Beauty let a complete stranger kiss her then married him. Cinderella lied and snuck after curfew to attend a party. You can't blame us. We were taught to rebel since a young age

Her name was Aurora
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrust the blade
Right into her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arm

If you HATE child abuse, copy and paste this into your profile.

29 reasons why girls are the best

1.We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark

Went to a party Mom...

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
so I had a sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
that I didn't drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right.
The party finally ended,
and the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece.
I never knew what was coming, Mom,
something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
the kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.
My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
this girl is going to die.
I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high.
Because he chose to drink and drive,
now I would have to die.
So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven,
put ' Mommy's Girl' on my grave.
Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter,
Mom I'm getting really scared
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mom!'
So I love you and goodbye.

Read this and if you and if you don't cry, or at least feel emotion, there's something wrong with you

Gryffindor (The biggest heroes in HP history as far as we know):

1. Welcome to Gryffindor, a Weasley has probably slept in your bed.

2. Gryffindors: Brave to the point of Idiocy.

3. Gryffindor: Because we blur the line between bold and stupid every time.

4. The beautiful, the brave and the bold.

5. Gryffindor: I'll kick your ass.

6. I'm in Gryffindor, you're in Gryffindor- let's hug!!

7. Gryffindor: because we get enough exercise just pushing our luck.

8. No excuses, rule breaking is customary.

9. Gryffindors are attention whores.

Slytherin (The Junior Death Eaters):

1. We aren't all evil... yeah, we are.

2. Cunning and Ambition: Slytherin.

3. Go ahead, be a little naughty.

4. Slytherin: We have chained boys in the dungeons.

5. Slytherin: Because our common room is underwater (and that's cool).

6. It's not that we aren't better than you (except it totally is).

7. Why be normal? Or good?

8. We are Junior Death Eaters. Deal with it.

9. Slytherin: means never having to say you're sorry.

10. Seriously evil wizard coming through.

11. I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.

12. Slytherins do it on Snape's desk.

13. Voldemort needs prison bitches.

14. Because real friends help you Incendio the bodies.

15. Property of the Half-Blood Prince.

16. We're only wearing black until something darker comes along.

17. Don't hate us because we're beautiful, hate us because we kick your ass at everything.

18. Never wound what can kill you.

Hufflepuff (Some of the best people you'll ever meet):

1. I'm planning your death but in a happy way.

2. Brace yourself- I'm going to hug you.

3. Nobody ever suspects the Hufflepuff.

4. You may be smarter, cooler, and better, but we still think you suck.

5. You think we're nice? That's cute...

6. Nowhere in the song does it say we're nice.

7. The love of a Hufflepuff was the only love good enough for Neville.

8. Hufflepuff: We kill you with smiles and rainbows.

9. All we got was Cedric... and that didn't turn out so good, did it?

10. Hufflepuff's kick ass too.

11. Hufflepuff: Formerly known as the party house.

12. Hufflepuff's know how to party.

13. Hufflepuff: We have cupcakes. Need we say more?

14. Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.

15. Hufflepuff's are Particularly good finders.

Ravenclaw (The smartest house with the only ones who don't blow themselves up):

Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure.

1. I don't need romance, I have goldfish.

2. A room without books is like a body without a soul.

3. I can kill you with my brain.

4. Ravenclaw pride. Be afraid.

5. It's not that we are smarter than you (except it totally is).

6. I'm a Ravenclaw, which clearly means I am eligible to boast about my intelligence level in your face.

7. Ravenclaw: because we know every insult in the book.

8. Ravenclaw: geeks shall inherit the earth.

9. Ravenclaw: Dangerously over-educated.

10. Ravenclaw: Tact enough for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.

11. Ravenclaw: because everyone else is just dumb.

47 ways to annoy a Non-Harry Potter fan:

1). Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter books or movies.

2). Crowd their inbox with Harry Potter related emails and make the subject misleading.

3). Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their birthday and demand they cherish it forever.

4). Pretend you can do magic.

5). Yell "CRUCIO" whenever they insult Harry Potter.

6). If your late for something blame it on your broken time turner.

7). Sort every person you meet in to one of the four houses.

8). Say "Lumos" every time you turn on a light.

9). If you're asked to retrieve something shout "Accio" loudly.

10). Refuse to wash your hair and explain you're going for the Snape look.

11). Spend hours at a time trying to make your broom fly.

12). Tap all brick walls you encounter with an umbrella.

13). Demand to know what exactly the function of a rubber duck is.

14). Carry around a hip flask like Moody and refuse to drink anything anyone else offers you.

15). Hum the Harry Potter theme song all day long.

16). Talk to animals and insist that they're Animagi.

17). Walk up to random people and ask if their initials are R.A.B.

18). Tell them that they're almost as smart as Grawp.

19). Refuse to tell them who Grawp is.

20). Whenever it gets foggy outside scream "The Dementors are coming!" and hide for days at a time.

21). Point at modern electronic devices and say "Look at that! The things these Muggles come up with!"

22). Point and grunt and insist that your speaking troll.

23). Take them to a CD store and make them look for the new Weird Sisters Album.

24). Always speak with a British accent, especially if your not from the U.K.

25). Draw round glasses and a lightening bolt scar on every poster you come across.

26). Constantly compare them to Mrs.Figg.

27). Laugh evilly if they ask who Mrs.Figg is.

28). Complain loudly about how your pictures don't move.

29). Break any awkward silences by saying "How 'bout them Chudley Cannons, eh?"

30). Say "Alohomora" every time you open a door.

31). Every time you see them demand an explanation of why they don't like Harry Potter.

32). Say everything in a sing-song voice like Luna Lovegood.

33). Shriek loudly and say that you're speaking Mermish.

34). If they ask you about the weather solemnly say, "Mars is bright tonight."

35). Pretend you're under an invisibility cloak and shout "You can't see me!"

36). Knit them a maroon jumper every year, especially if maroon isn't their color.

37). Draw the sign of the Hallows on every surface in the house.

38). While playing chess with them, stare at your pieces and give them verbal commands.

39). Throw the chess board across the room when the pieces don't move.

40). When one of the movies is on TV remind them every five minutes.

41). Refer to random people as "You-Know-Who."

42). Start swatting at the air saying there's a wrackspurt around.

43). Ask them to help you study for your O.W.L.'s

44). Walk around bumping into walls explaining your looking for the Room of Requirement.

45). Run up to random men with long dark hair and scream "SIRIUS! I always knew you were alive!"

46). Hog the computer when making Harry potter videos on youtube.

47). Tell them that You-Know-Who was defeated today. When they ask "Who's you-know-who?" pretend to be offended and don't tell them who he is.


You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs..."

You live off of sugar and caffine

People think you're insane.

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week one week, and then dissappear off the face of the earth the next.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start laughing for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

An English professor wrote the words

'A women without her man is nothing'

On the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

Every male in the room wrote-

'A women, without her man, is nothing'

All the females in the class wrote-

"A women: Without her, a man is nothing'

Punctuation is Powerful!

You cannot always save the damsel, if she can handle her own distress.

You cannot always be the knight in shining armour, if makeup and smiles are her own shield.

You cannot always slay the dragon, if she has her own strength to do so.

And you most certainly cannot always climb the tower; maybe there’s a reason she’s so high above you.

So concentrate on your own battles, dragons, and happily-ever-afters.

And let her live her own fairytale – her own once upon a time.

Because girls do not always need the knight, the prince, or fairy godmother, to make their ever-afters happy.

~xXxPhantom's RoseXx~

How to annoy people

WARNING only read this if you wish to lower your life expectancy by a huge amount

Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
Add blank entries to a list, to make it look like it's longer.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that you haven't received enough chocolate sprinkles.
Announce when you're going to the bathroom.
Answer every question with another question. As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!".
Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to you, hold your hand up to prevent them from saying anything and say, "Look, I know what you're going to ask me... For the last time, no, I will NOT go out with you."
Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. Then eat raw potatoes.
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
As people talk, smell their shoulders.
Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")
Ask people what gender they are.
Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
At a restaurant, repeatedly send your food back for changes and after awhile insist that, "This isn't what I ordered!"
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

The next time someone says "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me " HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY!


1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of Jury duty.

Read This- It's HILLARIUS!!! THANKYOU NyxBorn

So You Want To Be A Death Eater: Your Guide To Everything Evil!

Greetings, new follower:

If you are reading this letter then you have doubtless been accepted into the select band of professional wizards known as the Death Eaters. If by some unprecedented chance you are reading this and you have not been accepted into the Death Eaters then I suggest you put down this letter and leave now, or the consequences for you will be as terrible as my lifelong study into the Dark Arts can make them.

Please find enclosed a short introductory guide to Death Eating, which you must memorise and then eat, to prevent security leaks. (Due to an unfortunate fatality last week, it is now permitted to cut the guide into small pieces before swallowing).

The next meeting is scheduled for midnight, 11th June, when I trust we will have the pleasure of watching your initiation ceremony. Please remember to bring a clean handsaw and enough twine. It's so distressing when people don't prepare for these events properly.

Yours in infamy,

Lord Voldemort

So You Want To Be A Death Eater?

Welcome to this helpful guide to being a Death Eater. This leaflet should provide you with all the information you need to become a successful servant to the Dark Lord. It will if you know what's good for you. Please read every page before eating.

Aims of the society:

World peace
To be evil
To conquer the world
Elimination of all Muggles
Elimination of all Mudbloods
Elimination of Albus Dumbledore & the Order of the Phoenix
Elimination of (miscellaneous)
To serve Lord Voldemort (that's me!)
To create sanctuaries for endangered breeds of snakes
This statement is a lie.

List of Equipment required for new Death Eaters:

(Equipment marked must be obtained from Messers. Gorgon & Black Limited, outfitters to the intensely evil and terminally stylish since 12 BC. Their premises are on Knockturn Alley, but they now do mail order as well.)

Long Black Robes (Casual)
Long Black Robes (Smart)
Short Black Robes (for summer wear)
Long Black cloak (silk is preferable to velvet, as it is much more absorbent)
Black mask (informal)
Black mask (sequined)
Black boots (Stiletto heels are no longer permitted)
Black leather gloves (barbed wire ornamentation optional)
Extra wand in case of losing first wand
Plastic imitation wand in case of losing Extra wand

Cane (For favoured members only. Unauthorized possession of a cane will result in a heavy fine. Before possessing cane, it is necessary to pass a rigorous series of tests to ascertain that your carrying-a-cane-in-a-nonchalant-yet-evil-fashion skills are up to scratch).

Duelling sword
Disguise kit, containing: Nun's outfit, false beard, beekeeping veil, Muggle policeman's costume, etc.
Assorted chains
Pointy stick

Recommended Reading:

Curses and Counter-Curses by Professor Vindictus Viridian
Evil: A Beginners Guide by Professor E. Maledict
The Illustrated Torturer's handbook by Bellatrix Black
What Not to Wear in the Torture Chamber by Narcissa Malfoy
Sex, Lies, and Unforgivable Curses: The Authorised Biography of Lord Voldemort by Peter Pettigrew
Caring For Your New Tattoo: An Informative Guide St. Mungo's Hospital Skin Department

Death Eater may also own snake or dragon or hippogriff. But only Lord Voldemort may possess a basilisk.

Death Eater Rules:

No Death Eater shall be a spy for Dumbledore.
No Death Eater shall play the harmonica.
All Death Eaters must be proficient in the Dark Arts: murder, Unforgivable Curses, yodelling, yoga etc. An annual examination will be made to make sure that all members are up to scratch.
No Death Eater shall behave with integrity unless it is a genuine accident.
A Death Eater must be pureblooded.
No Death Eater must ever mention that the Dark Lord himself is not pureblooded.
No Death Eater may kill another Death Eater without a very good reason.
All Death Eaters shall answer Lord Voldemort's summons immediately. (Unless you are having a shower, in which case it is permitted to don a bath robe first.)
All Death Eaters shall have vaguely sinister surnames.
All Death Eaters shall overtake on the left.

Frequently Asked Questions:

What happens if Voldemort is displeased with me?

As this is a fairly run (and currently short-staffed) organization, you will probably receive a warning. And some soul-destroying torture. A second offense and you will probably die a slow death. Options include:

Being slowly eaten by a manticore.
Being dissolved in a vat of basilisk venom.
Gradual impalement on your own wand.
Being tied to a chair and forced to watch episode after episode of The Wiggles/Blues Clues/Dora the Explorer.
Death by Mandrake (according to season).
The Pancake curse. (This newly developed spell will carve you into wafer-thin slices. Victims killed in this way are traditionally cooked in hot fat and served with maple syrup or lemon juice at Death Eater feasts.)
Being flayed alive and used as a life-sized glove puppet at Death Eater children's parties.
Avada Kedavra (if we're in a hurry/ feeling rather unimaginative).

What should I do if I decide to leave the organization?

Make your funeral arrangements as quickly as possible.

(See above)

What is the salary like?

You should be in this job for the principle of the thing, not for sordid reasons. So let's just say that it's much, much better than they pay at the Ministry. There will also be opportunities for pillage, looting, theft, etc., and Christmas bonuses are guaranteed.

Does the Dark Mark hurt?

Of course it does; this is an evil society after all. What are you, a wimp?

Can the Dark Mark be removed by laser treatment?

No. Only a moron would ask such a stupid question.

But it can be temporarily obscured by a good-quality concealer. (Make sure it's a shade darker than your skin tone, as a lighter shade will simply draw attention to the tattoo. Pat translucent powder over the concealer to make it last longer.)

Is there a retirement age for Death Eaters?

You probably won't live long enough to have to deal with this problem.

Can I kill personal enemies or just opponents of Voldemort?

Murder is encouraged on principle; however, personal killings should be reserved for each individual Death Eater's free time, as obviously serving Lord Voldemort is much more important. Occasional massacre outings/ dark revels may take place as rewards for good (i.e. bad) behaviour.

What should I do if Voldemort is defeated at the height of his powers by a one-year-old boy?

This circumstance is so unlikely that there is no point devising a protocol to deal with it.

The Death Eater Anthem

(To be memorised by each new recruit as soon as possible). Please note that this tune should never, never, never, never be sung to the tune of "Blackadder," an inane Muggle television program to which we are completely oblivious and never watch. Honestly.

Who lurk beneath the undergrowth?
When all is dim and dark?
Who murder people in their beds
Or sometimes in the park?
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
Our blood is pure as pure!
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
We all love Voldemort!
We serve the Dark Lord every day,
We're always very loyal
And if with us you don't agree
We'll boil you in hot oil!
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
We're evil as can be!
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
But if we're scared we'll flee!
Our curses are incredible.
We're known for our Morsmordres
And though our leader is insane
We always follow orders.
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
We're wickedness collective!
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
Yet rather ineffective!

Health and Safety:

Being a Death Eater is naturally a dangerous job. Lord Voldemort accepts no liability for any pain/suffering/torture/impalement/loss of limbs/grievous bodily harm/disintegration/insanity/imprisonment/loss of soul/death which you may experience while in his service. No good will come of any attempts to sue him as a negligent employer. Trust us.

However, in order to protect members, these safety guidelines have been developed for Death Eaters both during leisure time and on missions for the Dark Lord:

Don't try to take out Harry Potter yourself. It is extremely presumptuous. Leave it to Lord Voldemort, who has much more practice.

Employ masterly deceit to conceal your allegiance to the Dark Lord: e.g., if someone accuses you of being a Death Eater, laugh carelessly and say: "No, I am not a Death Eater. Would you like a cup of tea?" This Machiavellian trickery should be enough to convince them.

If this does not convince your accuser, have them discreetly murdered. (Sussex and Fox Ltd, of 13, Knockturn Alley, run a very efficient assassination service and are currently offering cut-price deals for friends and associates of the Dark Lord. Present your membership card at the counter for further details.)

Keep your wand on you at all times, even if you are asleep/on a hot date/in the bath/on the beach/wearing very tight-fitting leather garments (or all of these at once).

Ostentatious indicators of evil, such as manic laughter/dressing entirely in black swooshy robes (Snape, this means you)/ making sinister comments/killing people should be practiced only in private.

If you suspect someone of being a spy, kill them and their family at the first opportunity. If it turns out they were not a spy at all, pass it off as a light-hearted practical joke.

Only eat food prepared by yourself or your faithful minions. Do not trust your spouse(s)/partner(s), no matter how pretty he/she/they may be.

Similarly, do not accept drinks from anyone. This may cause offense when visiting a pub or bar but it's better than being dead. Obviously.

Do not take off your mask for any reason while on a mission. If people see your face while you are conjuring the Dark Mark/ massacring etc, they may suspect that you are a Death Eater.

Do not try to smoke while wearing your mask, as it is not fireproof.

Never address your colleagues by name while on a mission. Survivors may recall it at a later date. For the same reason, never mention your address or telephone number to anyone you are kidnapping/raping/torturing/killing, no matter how attractive they may be. Evil relationship experts have stated that romance is unlikely to flourish under such circumstances anyway.

Burn all sensitive documents. Not only will this deter spies, it is also amusing as it contributes to global warming.

Set up an anti-Apparating spell round your residence (but make sure you have a Portkey handy so you're not embarrassingly trapped there if the place is attacked by Aurors).

Prepare a secret hideout for yourself should your cover be blown. Failure to do this may lead to your sharing a hideout with another Death Eating family, which often results in friction over use of bathroom facilities, television, etc.

Don't upset Lord Voldemort. It will only end in tears. (And multiple burns, fractured limbs, mortal torment, etc.)

The Hogwarts Rules

1. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

2. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore".

3. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

4. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".

5. I will not ask Lupin if it his time of the month.

6. I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.

7. Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.

8. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.

9. Professor Flitwick's first name in not Yoda.

10. I will not refer to the hippogriff as "Horsey bird".

11. Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins, and I should not test that.

12. Professor Snape does not enjoy being called "Snookums".

13. -Neither does he respond favourably to "Sev", "Snapey-Poo" or "Debbie".

14. Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in June.

15. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"

16. I will not refer to "The Grim" as a nice doggy.

17. - I will not refer to Professor Lupin as a nice doggy.

18. There is no bring a muggle to school day.

19. When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts."

20. - "Putting down Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.

21. I will not refer to the Accio charm as "The Force".

22. I will not sing "Defying Gravity" during Quidditch practice.

23. There is no connection between Hitler and Voldemort.

24. I am not allowed to declare "Official Hug A Slytherin Day."

25. I am not to wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT! shirt to school.

26. When in the presence of the Dark Lord, I must call him The Dark Lord. Not 'Snake-Face, the Dark Lord Happy Pants'.

27. I am not allowed to ask any of the Malfoys if it's "true that blondes have more fun"

28. I am not to sing 'We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!' when sent to the Headmaster's office'.

29. I am not to hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout 'I... GOT... THE... POWER!'

30. When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmede, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout 'To the Batmobile, Robin!'

31. - Or 'Thunder, Thunder, Thunder, THUNDERCATS, GO!'

32. I am not Voldemort's illegitimate love child.

33. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

34. I do not have a Cyberman Patronus.

35. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

36. Taking red paint and writing creepy messages on the walls is not funny, either.

37. I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.

38. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on the school grounds, not even for entertainment purposes.

39. It is generally accepted that Cats and Dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked the result would be.

40. I will not write all my essays in red ink claiming it is blood.

41. It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a T-shirt that says 'All the good-looking ones die young' with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.

43. I will not write forged letters home to the parents of Muggleborn first years detailing the Satanic rituals they are learning.

44. Locking Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter in a broom cupboard together to see if hot gay sex will occur is not appropriate.

45. The four houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smartasses and the Junior Death Eaters.

46. Teaching first years to chorus in unison 'The amazing bouncing ferret' whenever they hear the name Draco Malfoy is just wrong, funny, but wrong.

47. No matter what I say to the Dark Lord, I will never make him laugh.

48. Murmuring 'I see dead people' every time I see one of the ghosts is stupid and was never funny.

49. I will not replace Professor Snape's Pumpkin Juice with Skele-Gro, and it was not an honest mistake.

50. I am not funny. No matter how much I make myself laugh.


Thanks to Irony-chan this is the best mary sue thing ever!!!!

A's for Amanda
Our hero's twin sister
Got lost as a baby
And gosh, how he missed her
He always suspected
He had a half lacking
He set off to find her
By magical tracking
So now they're together
And smiling a lot
Too bad that the story's
Got no trace of plot

B is for Bridget
Who's named for the author
She could have been subtle
But just didn't bother
Yet somehow I doubt
That the writer's a d-cup
Or sings like an angel
With nary a hiccup
Or doesn't need glasses
Or looks like a hottie
Or ever will earn
Her black belt in karate

C is for Clementine
Good on a broom
The fastest of flyers
Just look at her zoom!
The new school all-star
She aims like a dream
They haven't lost once yet
Since Clem made the team!
But the other side's jealous
And might not play fair
Will they cheat 'til she loses?
... does anyone care?

D's for Diana
Her story's a wreck!
With no sign of grammar
Or any spell-check
The readers sent email
To justly complain
But all of their efforts
Turned out to be vain
The author replied with:
"Who cares how it's written?
"It's only a fanfic!
"You're mean, and kick kittens!"

E is for Elwen
An elf in her glory!
Who seems unwire
That she's in the wrong story
Like all of her people
She's comely and wise
The hardest heart melts
At her come-hither eyes
But how did she get here?
There aren't any clues
And the author won't tell
Till she gets more reviews

F for Furiko
Who came from the East
Her father's a magical
Shrinekeeper priest
She brought her katana
And swings it with ease
And she'll say 'onegai'
Instead of just 'please'
Each chapter begins with
A guide to the phrases
And thanks the reviewers
For singing her praises

G is for Georgia
Likes watching TV
Replaying the movie
Upon DVD
Till one day by magic
The screen opened wide
Before Georgia knew it
It sucked her inside!
Now she'll save the hero
By hook or by crook
She knows all the future
'Cause she's read the book

H starts the name
Of a girl called Heather
An element witch
Who can magic the weather
A sunshiny day
Means she's merry and glad
But thunder and snowstorms
Show up when she's mad
And should she be sleeping
And having strange dreams...
I suppose that might be why
It's raining sardines

I for Isolda
Who's nasty and mean
The worst evil sorceress
You've ever seen
The Dark Lord is naught but
Her grovelling bitch
No-one out-evils
This black little witch!
It runs in her family
Right down in her roots
But without a good beta
Her plots become ploots

J is for Janviere
Frozen and cold
A silent immortal
A thousand years old
Ever since she discovered
The Sorcerer's Stone
There have been none to love her
She wanders alone
Her tale is tragic
With no-one to tell
Where she hid the body
Of Nicolas Flamel

K is for Kimberly
Nothing but trouble
There's chaos a boiling
In her cauldron's bubble
The girl's a genius
Her pranks are the best!
But all of the teachers
They think she's a pest
Four times in a row
She's been kicked out of school
To let her in here
The headmaster's a fool

L for Lorraina
The heir to three thrones
She dresses in ball gowns
And wears precious stones
But deep in her heart
She's so royally lonely
She longs for a prince
To love her and her only
She wants to be treated
Like all other girls
Perhaps if she'd dump
The tiara and pearls

M is for Madysonne
Fresh from the states!
Like totally awesome
This chica, she rates!
She brought with her all of
Her favourite CD's
And might let you listen
If you just say please
She's spreading the music
As far as she can
And somehow I'm guessing
The author's a fan

N is for Naoko
In space she has dwelt
Her real name's Sailor
Asteroid Belt
A student by day
Vigilante by night
A short-skirted soldier
In crimson and white!
But what will she do when
Her secret's discovered?
Why, sex up the hero
And make him her lover!

O for Ophelia
The evil guy's daughter
Her life is so awful
Her tears flow like water
Her husband's been chosen
By father and mother
But her heart already
Belongs to another
Oh woe! And oh angst!
Yeah, it's piled on thick
And most of the readers
Are gonna be sick

P is for Paris
Just swimming in prose!
Her lips weren't pink only
They bloomed like a rose!
Like wheat in the sunshine
The gold of her hair
Her eyes, how they sparkled
As clear as the air!
Her skin was as white
As the robe of a saint
And it's that lack of iron
Keeps making her faint

Q is for Qing
She's the Chinese exchange
Her manners are foreign
Her habits are strange
She's odd and exotic
She dresses in silk
Eats rice for her breakfast
And never drinks milk
A stereotype walking
On feet bound up small
The author did clearly
No research at all

R for Rhiannon
Got brought up by a pack
Of wolves in the wild
One would think that she'd lack
For poise and good manners
But she's got 'em in spades
Perhaps that is how
Every she-wolf behaves
There's only one chapter
But quite clear to see
That poor helpless werewolf
Will get paired with she

S for Serena
Who changes her form
When she wants she can become
A white unicorn
Both tigers and eagles
Are shapes she can take
A big golden dragon
A small silver snake
A galloping mustang
A peacock of blue
The woman's a one-person
Portable zoo

T is for Tracey
The coolest of cool
Most popular chick
At her old wizard school
But here things are different
She's all but unseen
The others don't like her
And everyone's mean
It's all 'bout the in-crowd
And the reader infers
That in the end Trace
Will say vengeance is hers

U is for Umbra
Which isn't a name
But in the end really
There's worse stuff to blame:
Her surname is either
'MacKay' or 'MacBride'
The story says both
It can't seem to decide
That's about as much sense
As this fic ever makes
Especially since it lacks
Paragraph breaks

V for 'Virginia'
Who used to be canon
Till one day along came
A writer named Shannon
Now Gin's into cutting
And punk-rocker bands
And writes poems 'bout the pain
That no-one understands
But her parents don't worry
To any degree
Because just like their daughter
They're both OOC

W stands for
One Wendover Sable
She started off Sue-some
Right out of the cradle
The poor foundling baby
Was given a home
By snobby, rich wizards
Brought her up like their own
And should any point out
That this ain't realistic
Just watch as the author
Goes fully ballistic

X is for Xanthe
Who isn't a Sue
Like any good character
She's got flaws, too
Her hair isn't curly!
Her nails she bites!
She's scared of the dark
When she turns out the lights!
So many things
That could get in the way...
But they'll never stop Xanthe
From saving the day

Y is for Yarrow
Who's better than teacher
At seeing tomorrow
In every small feature
In fact, she's so good
That she tutors the classes
And with her instructing
All students get passes
Yet when she predicts ruin
Woe is her - no one hears!
So much for the love
And respect of her peers

Z is for Zuli
Her name is Zuliekha
But she keeps it short 'cause
That's tough on the speaker
She sings and she dances!
She's mastered disguise!
She chit-chats with snakes!
She makes Julienne fries!
The reader is torn
Between laughter and gaping
Spoofs shouldn't be worse
Than the things that they're aping


Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for
the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in
order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my
dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that
my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what
this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe...for now...

'Did somebody say Draco Malfoy?'

'Hufflepuff's are particularly good finders.' 'What the HELL is a Hufflepuff?'

'Did you get my text?'

'Come on, I'm tired! Can't we just be death eaters?'

'I can't GO to Pigfarts, it's ON MARS.'

'That is a BOSS Zefron poster!'

'Voldemort out, bitches.'

'I want Hermione Granger! And a rocket ship.'

'You think killing people might make them like you, but it doesn't! It just makes people dead.'

'I love you all. Except you Draco, I can't fucking stand you.'


'And you have to be my slave for a whole day starting now!' 'You little shit! You got me! That's so embarrassing! ... That's the second time this has happened!'


'Bitch I ain't Cho Chang!' 'That's Lavender Brown! Racist sister!'

'Harry Potter loves Zac Efron more than anyone else on the planet.'

'Go home terrorist!'

'I don't know man. Cedric Diggory, he's pretty awesome. NOT! He sucks. I'm totally gonna win. It's in the bag.'

'My parents work for the man who killed your parents, do you want to be my friend?'

'You're cuter than a guinea pig, wanna take you up to Winnipeg - THAT'S IN CANADA!'

'Oh, just put some tape on this... it's fine.'

'I can't do this, I can't sleep on my tummy.'

'It could entail countless months of camping in the mundane British countryside, breaking into Gringotts and drinking boatloads of Polyjuice Potion.' 'Well the medallion says that's dumb, so we're not doing that.'

'Pigfarts, Pigfarts, here I come! Pigfarts, Pigfarts, yum yum yum!'

'Just relax with the 'Dark King', ok? I watch you wipe your butt daily, you can call me Voldemort, we've reached that point.'

'It's just like, I can't get her out my head and every time I look at her I get these pains in my chest, and I just know it's her fault - that bitch.'

'So good luck with whatever you were talking about, and I hope that you and Voldemort live happily ever after. Me? I'm never gonna be happy again. So I'm just gonna go curl up in my sock drawer and sleep for days.'

'Rumbleroar is the headmaster at Pigfarts. He's a lion. Who can talk.'



'I came with the Order of the Phoenix! Lupin, Tonks, Made-Eye Moody, Sirius Black, and your brother Fred.' 'Oh great, where are they?' 'They're all dead.'

-member of the band gives Ron a snack- 'Oh my god thank you.'


'Now you're just being cute. I can't GO to Pigfarts. It's ON MARS. You need a rocket ship. Do you have a rocket ship, Potter? I bet you do. You know, not all of us inherited enough money to buy out NASA when our parents died. Oh, look at this! Rocket ship Potter! Starkid Potter! Moooonshoes Potter! TRAVERSING THE GALAXY FOR INTERGALATIC TRAVELS TO PIGFARTS.'

'What was I saying?' 'You were just telling me to sit on a knife.'

'Can't you just prepare all my stuff for me? I mean, what are you doing now?' 'I'm writing your potions essay.' 'Oh, well, do that first, 'cos that's due tomorrow.'

'Um, so, Harry? Um, we kissed. At the Yule Ball? And, well, I thought we were gonna be together forever. But we're not.' 'Yeah, that, uh... that pretty much sums it up.'

'It's just a little make up, WAKE UP DRACO!'

'You know who I think is the ugliest girl in school? That Hermione Granger. You know what I would give her on a scale of 1 to 10? 1, 1 being the ugliest and 10 would be the most pretty... an 8. An 8.5! Or a 9. No more than a 9.8, because there's always room for improvement. Of course I'm holding out for a 10. Because I'm worth it.'

'It's cause you're a fucking elf!'

'What the devil is going on here?'

'Where have you been all my life?' 'In a cupboard under some stairs!'

'Dumbledooooore! Why you being such a lousy boyfrieeeeend?'

'Ten points to Dumbledore!'

'Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, SLYTHERIN!!!!!!!'

'Hey Lupin, wanna go look at the full moon with me? HAHA, ZOMBIE!'

'You always have been, and you always will be, a butt trumpet! You know why? Because YOU'VE got a TRUMPETING BUTT!'

'Who looks stupid now? You do.'

'Oh my god, Umbridge, stop texting me!'

'You're going to do that stiff arm movement you're so fond of, and you two are going to do this... it's going to feel goofy, but it's going to look so fucking good. Oh, oh, places! ... Hello, Potter.'

'Probably the work... of that infamous... Hogwarts... jaguar.'

'I heard, one time a Dementor kissed her, and IT. DIED.'

'Harry, I'm homeless. Can I live with you?'

- From the brilliance that is 'A Very Potter Musical' and 'A Very Potter Sequel', by Starkid Productions

Harry Potter QUOTES!!!!!

"Because that's what Hermione does," said Ron shrugging, "When in doubt, go to the library."

Yes - yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our window, boy?"
"Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice.
His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage.
"Listening to the news! Again?"
"Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry. OOTP

""And that's Smith of Hufflepuff with the Quaffle," said a dreamy voice, echoing over the grounds. "He did the commentary last time, of course, and Ginny Weasley flew into him, I think probably on purpose, it looked like it. Smith was being quite rude about Gryffindor, I expect he regrets that now he's playing them - oh, look, he's lost the Quaffle. Ginny took it from him. I do like her, she's very nice..." Luna Lovegood HBP

"There is no way they'd let me be a Death Eater!" said Ron indignantly, a bit of sausage flying off the fork he was now brandishing at Hermione and hitting Ernie Macmillan on the head. "My whole family are blood traitors! That's as bad as Muggle-borns to Death Eaters!"
"And they'd love to have me," said Harry sarcastically. "We'd be best pals if they didn't keep trying to do me in." HBP

Harry: So light a fire!
Hermione: Yes... of course... but there's no wood!

Fred: Oh get out of the way, Percy. Harry's in a hurry.
George: Yeah, he's off to the Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged servant.

Ron: Right, you've got a crooked sort of cross… (consulting "Unfogging the Future") That means you're going to have 'trials and suffering' -- sorry about that -- but there's a thing that could be a sun… hang on… that means 'great happiness'… so you're going to suffer but be very happy…
Harry: You need your Inner Eye tested, if you ask me…

Ron: Don't talk to me.
Hermione: Why not?
Ron: Because I want to fix that in my memory forever…
Ron (his eyes closed): Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret...

Fred: He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.

Harry- "Death's got an invisibility cloak?"
Ron - "So he can sneak up on people. He gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking."

"He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with news...check if I'm happy..."
-- Harry Talking to Vernon Dursley about Sirius POA

"Brilliant! It's Potions last thing on Friday! Snape won't have the time to poison us all!
-- Ron

Harry, don't go picking a row with Malfoy, don't forget, he's a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you..."
"Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life?" said Harry sarcastically.
-- Hermione to Harry

"Well, think back," said Harry. "Have you ever let it slip that you'd like to go out in public with the words 'My Sweetheart' round your neck?"
--Harry talking to Ron after Lavender gave him a necklace HBP

"Warrington's aim's so pathetic I'd be more worried if he was aiming for the person next to me."
--talking about a Slytherin beater

Snape: "Do you remember me telling you we are practising non-verbal spells, Potter?"
Harry: "Yes."
Snape: "Yes, sir."
Harry: "There's no need to call me sir, Professor." HBP

"Point is, people, don’t get lulled into a false sense of security, thinking he’s out of the country. Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t, but the fact remains he can move faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo when he wants to, so don’t count on him being a long way away if you’re planning to take any risks. I never thought I’d hear myself say it, but safety first!" - Fred Weasley on Potterwatch in Deathly Hallows

"I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed - or worse, expelled. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to bed." -Hermione SS

Malfoy glanced around. Harry knew he was checking for signs of teachers. Then he looked back at Harry and said in a low voice, "You're dead, Potter."
Harry raised his eyebrows. "Funny," he said, "you'd think I'd have stopped walking around..." OOTP

Hermione: "Harry, I've been thinking - you know what we've got to do, don't you? Straight away, the moment we get back to the castle?"
Harry: "Yeah, give Ron a good kick up the-"
Hermione: "Write to Sirius."GOF

"Don't be prat, Neville, that's illegal," said George. "They wouldn't use the Cruciatus Curse on the champions. I thought it sounded a bit like Percy singing... maybe you've got to attack him while he's in the shower, Harry."GOF

Draco: "You see, I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments".
"Yeah," said Harry, "but you, unlike me, are a git." OOTP

"Well, I had one that I was playing Quidditch the other night," said Ron, screwing up his face in an effort to remember. "What do you think that means?"
"Probably that you're going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something," said Harry, turning the pages of The Dream Oracle without interest. OOTP

"Oh, are you a prefect Percy? You should have said something, we had no idea."
"Hang on I think I remember him saying something about it, once..."
"Or twice-"
"A minute-"
"All summer-" Fred and George SS

"Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."
"Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git."
"Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor."POA

"I've got two Neptunes here," said Harry after a while, frowning down at his piece of parchment, "that can't be right, can it?"
"Aaaaah," said Ron, imitating Professor Trelawney's mystical whisper, "when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry.."GOF

A week after Fred and George's departure, Harry witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves, who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier, and could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth, "It unscrews the other way."OOTP

Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides.
"So-after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating-"
"Jordan!" growled Professor McGonagall.
"I mean, after that open and revolting foul-"
"Jordan, I'm warning you-"
"All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure..."SS

"Who's Kreacher?"
"The house-elf who lives here," said Ron. "Nutter. Never met one like him."
"He is not a nutter," said Hermione.
"His life's ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque like his mother," said Ron. "Is that normal, Hermione?"OOTP

"Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they?" said Hermione as they got off the train and joined the crowd thronging toward the enchanted barrier. "When they hear what you did this year?"
"Proud?" said Harry. "Are you crazy? All those times I could've died, and I didn't manage it? They'll be furious..." SS

They were almost at King's Cross when Harry remembered something.
"Ginny--what did you see Percy doing, that he didn't want you to tell anyone?"
"Oh that," said Ginny, giggling. "Well--Percy's got a girlfriend."
Fred dropped a stack of books on George's head. "What?"
"It's that Ravenclaw prefect, Penelope Clearwater," said Ginny. "That's who he was writing to all last summer. He's been meeting her all over the school in secret. I walked in on them kissing in an empty classroom one day. He was so upest when she was--you know--attacked. You won't tease him, will you?" she added anxiously.
"Wouldn't dream of it," said Fred, who was looking like his birthday had come early.
"Definitely not," said George, sniggering. COS

Mrs. Weasley let out a shriek just like Hermione's.
"I don't believe it! Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That's everyone in the family!"
"What are Fred and I, next-door neighbours?" said George indignantly, as his mother pushed him aside and flung her arms around her youngest son. OOTP

"I want to fix that in my memory forever," said Ron, his closed and an uplifted expression on his face. "Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..." GOF

"We tried to shut him in a pyramid, but Mum spotted us."
-George Weasley POA

"So light a fire!" Harry choked.
"Yes...of course...but there's no wood!" Hermione cried wringing her hands.

"Where is Wood?" said Harry, suddenly realizing he wasn't there.
"Still in the showers," said Fred. "We think he's trying to drown himself." POA...I think

"Bad news, Harry. I've just been to see Professor McGonagall about the Firebolt. She - er got a bit shirty with me. Told me I'd got my priorities wrong. Seemed to think I cared more about winning the Cup than I do about staying alive. Just because I told her I didn't care if it threw you off, as long as you caught the Snitch first." - Oliver Wood POA

"Azkaban -- the wizard prison, Goyle," said Malfoy, looking at him in disbelief. "Honestly, if you were any slower, you'd be going backward." -Draco POA...I think

"Ah," said Fudge, who looked thoroughly disconcerted. "Dumbledore. Yes. You -- er -- got our -- er -- message that the time and -- er -- place of the hearing had been changed then?"
"I must have missed it," said Dumbledore cheerfully. "However, due to a lucky mistake I arrived at the Ministry three hours early, so no harm done."
"Yes -- well -- I suppose we'll need another chair -- I -- Weasley, could you --?"
"Not to worry, not to worry," said Dumbledore pleasantly; he took out his wand, gave it a little flick, and a squishy chintz armchair appeared out of nowhere next to Harry. Dumbledore sat down, put the tips of his long fingers together and surveyed Fudge over them with an expression of polite interest. OOTP

"Are you trying to weasel out of showing us any of this stuff?" said Zacharias Smith.
"Here's an idea," said Ron loudly, "why don't you shut your mouth?"
"Well, we've all turned up to learn from him, and now he's telling us he can't really do any of it," he said.
"That's not what he said," said Fred Weasley.
"Would you like us to clean out your ears for you?" inquired George, pulling a long and lethal-looking metal instrument from inside one of the Zonko's bags.
"Or any part of your body, really, we're not fussy where we stick this," said Fred. OOTP

"I'll look for him later, I expect I'll find him upstairs crying his eyes out over my mother's old bloomers or something...Of course, he might have crawled up into the airing cupboard and died...But I mustn't get my hopes up..." -Sirius OOTP

"Cheers," whispered George, wiping tears of laughter from his face. "Oh, I hope she tries Vanishing them next...they multiply by ten every time you try..."
The fireworks continued to burn and spread all over the school that afternoon. Though they caused plenty of disruption, the other teachers did not seem to mind them very much.
"Dear, dear," said Professor McGonagall sardonically, as one of the dragons soared around her classroom, emitting loud bangs and exhalting flame. "Miss Brown, would you mind running along to the headmistress and informing her that we have an escaped firework in our classroom?"
"Thank you so much, Professor!" said Professor Flitwick in his squeaky little voice. "I could have got rid of the sparklers myself, of course, but I wasn't sure whether I had the authority..."
Beaming, he closed the classroom door in Umbridge's snarling face. OOTP

"Of course we still want to know you!" Harry said, staring at Hagrid.
"You don't think anything that Skeeter cow - sorry, Professor," he added quickly, looking at Dumbledore.
"I have gone temporarily deaf and haven't any idea what you said, Harry," said Dumbledore, twiddling his thumbs and staring at the ceiling. GOF

neville kicks ass

1.neville needs a remembrall not because he has a bad memory but because he simply acomplishes too much to remember

2.neville longbottom does not bow to hippogriffs. hippogriffs bow to neville longbottom

3.they thaught of making a neville puppet for harry potter puppet pals... but no one makes fun of neville and wakes up in the morning

4.bound by the full-body curse, surrounded by dementors and giants with his wand snapped in half, neville longbottom laughed to himself and said "i have them right where i want them

5. not to be outdone, after mrs.weasley took out bellatrix,neville brought her back to life and killed her again

6.proffessor Quirrel didn't have to fake his stammer in neville's presense

7.neville became head boy and girl. no one dared to comment

8.neville longbottom is whats beyond the veil

9.neville turned dumbledore gay

10.before neville punched it, it was known as horizont ally

11.neville uses naginis blood as soy sauce

12.muggles dont know about lord voldemort but they do know about neville longbottom

13. chuck norris's boggart is neville longbottom

14.neville longbottoms patronus is neville because nothing else is badass enough to represent him

15.neville is the reason the cauldren is leaky

16.if someone replaced the mirror of erised with neville, no one would notice

17.cho cang wasnt crying because she missed cedric. she was crying because she was with harry not neville

18.they said dumbledore was the only one lord voldemort was afraid of. they lied

19.they were going to release a neville longbottom version of clue but the answer was always "neville in the courtyard with the sword"

20.neville made the department of mysterys when he got tired of making every discovery

21.neville longbottom cut off the hogshead. he was practicing for nagini

22.chuck norris pissed neville off. hence mrs.norris

If you have ever tripped where there was a ‘watch your step’ sign, copy this into your profile.

If you’re in love with a fictional character copy and paste this in your profile.

There’s nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It’s when you argue with yourself and LOSE when its’ weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you wish you could just pop in and out of your favorite stories, changing the storyline as you go along to fit your own agenda, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then reading,.If you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then cut and paste this to your Profile.

If you love and I mean love to read, put this on your profile

If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, (actually I have) Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki (I do all the time!), WeaselChick, Celyna ( I fall up the steps to school every time I go up them... sadly...), SSAHC, Koki-chan (Everyday, I think my stairs are cursed), Majickal (over at my mom's friend's house...which was very embarrassing because I almost broke my nose), Neassa (let's not get into it...), Peridot-Horntail (Try running to the bus in a panic and then realize mid-flight fall you were going the wrong way.), your.lazy.lover (i wear socks in my home and my steps are carpeted, the result being...), Hawkstra (had a bruise on my chin for a week), StardustFromThePlanetGallifrey (just pack full the biggest trip backpack you have, then go on a school trip and try to climb up the stairs with your backpack on your back... P.S. I caused a domino effect) InkWeaverabc (I twisted my ankle last time... ouch.), FlexManSteel, Totally Random Solembum[I am convinced there is a conspiracy against m- hey! I'm not paranoid! Stop trying to kill me everybody! STOP THE STAIRS!, An Artist's Account (I fell up two flights of stairs at school-very embarrassing)

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

98 percent of teenagers drink or have been around alcohol, put this in your profile if you like MUFFINS!

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the listSunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Ginormous Funtastic Everything, Kara Hitame, HopelessxRomanticx1993, boyzaremylife, September5Rhyme (and proud to do so), HisokaYukiko, fullmetal'sgirl92, DarkRose02, devotedtodreams, SkywardShadow, XxGaarasGirlXx, Gaaras1Girl, Saara-chan, BellaPerea, kairika, Arya-Svit-Kona1, InheritanceArtist(it happens daily ;), InkWeaverabc, FlexManSteel, Totally Random Solembum[I've gotten called this on my first day of kindergarten-no, seriously. And I am proud of it!,An Artist's Account- freak and proud of it.

If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours reading the stories of peole who have no lives whatsoever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it, and you are one of the aforementioned people, copy and paste this to your profile.

Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile

If you are odd and proud of it, you know the drill.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head... copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have no idea why someone started these copy and paste quotes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile.

I want child abuse to stop, and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you don't know why people can't get it through their heads that members of the opposite sex can just be friends, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Global Warming is real, and that it should be dealt with, copy and paste this into your profile.

65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV rather than reading, if you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV, then copy and paste this into your profile then add your name. RaeVenn-Chan, Fall-For-Deceit, PhoenixTears95, J Spiker, The Awsome Threesome, GilansApprentice, FantasyNerd101, Izzybizzy333, InkWeaverabc, FlexManSteel, Totally Random Solembum, An Artist's Account (TV fries your brain)

If you talk to your book characters copy this

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

If you should be doing homework right now, copy this into your profile.

If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to have wings, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you are such a loser that you actually read all these 'If you ever blah blah blah, copy this into your profile' things, copy this into your profile

If you are the complete opposite of normal, copy this into your profile.

If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

99 percent of teens would have a heart attack is facebook and myspace were simultaneously destroyed. If you would be one of the one percent who would be laughing your butt off, or attending a funeral and laughing your butt off, then copy this into your profile.

If you actually enjoy reading, copy this into your profile.

If you are of the opinion that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever read something and got sucked into that book, copy this into your profile.

If you enjoy books about dragons, copy this into your profile.

If you enjoy fantasy in general, copy this into your profile.

If you wish that fictional characters were real, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it's never done me any harm! Copy and paste this into your profile if you're thankful for your education.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

82 percent of teenagers do drugs, drink alcohol, and rob convenience stores...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

if you secretly hoped to get a letter from Hogwarts when you were 11, copy and paste this to your profile. My letter was probably just delayed…There's a lot of letters to send out they just lost mine.

If when your friend says, "Alice should bite Bella," you burst out laughing imagining crazy old Alice Longbottom launching herself at Bellatrix Lestrange, copy and paste this into your profile.

if you pretend Fred Weasley didn't die, copy and paste this into your profile


!f you loved DH, HBP, OotP, GoF, PoA, CoS, and PS, and know what all those initials stand for, copy and paste this on your account.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfiction, copy this into your pro

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, C&P!

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste!

If you hear the voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this into your profile.

Copy this to your profile if you ever pushed the door that said pull

If you would love to stay a night in a library, copy and paste this on your profile

If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love the rain, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you're one of those people who gets excited when they get a new review, copy and paste this in your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

.: There's three ways to do things:.
.: The right way :.
.: The wrong way :.
.: And my way, which is wrong too, but faster!:.

When life gives you lemons...

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

When life gives you lemons use them to squirt in the eyes of your enemys.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and let the whole world wonder how you did it.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, forget to add sugar and then offer a glass to a friend.

When life gives you lemons, throw them back in life's face and demand grapefruit.

When life gives you lemons, boil them until they shrivel up and die.

When life gives you lemons, plant them and give other people lemons from our lemon tree.

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and ask for chocolate!

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them and add plenty of gin and tonic

Copy this into your profile and add another if you can think of one if not just copy this into your profile. Lemons RULE!

Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to your mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which button to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696969696969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, and date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

if you blow in a dogs face he'll get mad at you, but take him for a car ride, and the first thing he does is stick his head out the window!

apparently 1 in 5 people are chinese, there are five people in my familly so it must be one of them. it's ether my mum or dad. or my older brother colin. or my younger brother ho-chan-chu. but i think it's colin.

borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back!

there are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.

if olive oil comes from olive's then where does baby oil come from?

ifr quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can it be good to 'quit while your ahead?'

whise cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

how is it possible to have a civil war?

if a fork were made of gold would it still be called silver ware?

Can you make a candle out of your earwax?

"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?

Are marbles made of marble?

Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?

If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back?

Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Can you get cornered in a round room?

Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?

Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?

How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?

Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother-in-law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??

Can mute people burp?

What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?

Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?

Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?

Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?

Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?

Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?

Why can't you get a tan on your palms?

If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?

Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been

If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
people that work nights?

Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Why is a square meal served on round plates?

Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?

Which way does a compass point in space?

Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?

Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

Why did Mary own a little lamb?

If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?

Why are Pringles curved?

What happens if your snot freezes in your nose?

Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?

If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?

Why is it that its good to score under par in golf but its bad to be “under par” in any thing else?

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was the prime suspect.

Twas A Computer Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the shop,

The computers were whirring; they never do stop.
The power was on and the temperature right,
In hopes that the input would feed back that night.
The system was ready, the program was coded,
And memory drums had been carefully loaded;
While adding a Christmassy glow to the scene,
The lights on the console, flashed red, white and green.
When out in the hall there arose such a clatter,
The programmer ran to see what was the matter.
Away to the hallway he flew like a flash,
Forgetting his key in his curious dash.
He stood in the hallway and looked all about,
When the door slammed behind him, and he was locked out.
Then, in the computer room what should appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer;
And a little old man, who with scarcely a pause,
Chuckled: "My name is Santa...the last name is Claus."
The computer was startled, confused by the name,
Then it buzzed as it heard the old fellow exclaim:
"This is Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen,
And Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen."
With all these odd names, it was puzzled anew;
It hummed and it clanked, and a main circuit blew.

It searched in its memory core, trying to "think";

Then the multi-line printer went out on the blink.

Unable to do its electronic job,

It said in a voice that was almost a sob:
"Your eyes - how they twinkle - your dimples so merry,
Your cheeks so like roses, your nose like a cherry,
Your smile - all these things, I've been programmed to know,
And at data - recall, I am more than so - so;
But your name and your address (computers can't lie),
Are things that I just cannot identify.
You've a jolly old face and a little round belly,
That shakes when you laugh like a bowlful of jelly;
My scanners can see you, but still I insist,
Since you're not in my program, you cannot exist!"
Old Santa just chuckled a merry "ho, ho",
And sat down to type out a quick word or so.
The keyboard clack-clattered, its sound sharp and clean,
As Santa fed this "data" to the machine:
"Kids everywhere know me; I come every year;
The presents I bring add to everyone's cheer;
But you won't get anything - that's plain to see;
Too bad your programmers forgot about me."
Then he faced the machine and said with a shrug,
" Merry Christmas to All " as he pulled out the plug!

Crazy, Freaky and Incredibly Brilliant STUFF!!

!I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

Sometimes, I wonder, "Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me!

"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with."

"People think it must be fun to be a smart, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world"

"There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or you suck."

Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange people then kill them.

"Be a loser because 'cool' is overrated"

"Well behaved women rarely make history"

"Fail with Honour rather than Succeed by Fraud" wow, that's deep.

If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

What disease did cured ham have?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do alarm clocks "go off" when they start making noise?

Why do we yell "Heads up!" when we should be yelling "Heads down!"?

How can something be both "new" and "improved"?

Why do we shut up, but quiet down?

How did the "Keep Off the Grass" sign get there in the first place?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If you can't beat them, confuse them.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Life is just one bad thing after another. Unless it's a bunch of bad things all at once.

If you get good grades and still don't know anything at all copy this onto your profile

First law of science: don't spit into the wind

May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful!

there's always a light at the end of a tunnel just pray it's not a train!

take my advice i don't use it anyway

Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Which is why I recycle!

What does really suck? A giraffe with pain in his neck

Don't be open-minded, your brains might fall out

Homework? Do I pay school money to work at home!?

Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone

When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose

There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise

You'll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!

1 out of 6 people are insane. except when you're friends with me and my friends, then 6 out of 6 people are insane.

Reality is more fun when you make it up

Words may hurt me, but sticks and stones will bounce off my force field

So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

I've heard that it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

When in doubt, make up words!

Ask no questions and I will tell no lies.

You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not Cold then I'm Hot. I know I'm Hot. Thank You for embracing it!

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder.

What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

On a scale of one to awesome, that was purple.

"Help! I've fallen and I can't -- Hey! Nice carpet!"

I'm not afraid of death. What's it gonna to do? Kill me?

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Rules are like paperclips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.

Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop

If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left

Everybody makes mistakes, that's why they put erasers on pencils

The road to success is always under construction

By the time you read this, you've already read it

The higher you are, the farther you fall... so keep your job at burger king!

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavoured cat food?

"Pretty girls turn heads. Me and my girls break necks" XD

"Brilliant brunette with many blonde moments"

Old enough to know better, but to young not to care"

"Always give 100% percent at work...12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday" ;D

"Cinderella walked on broken glass, Sleeping Beauty let a life time pass, Belle fell in love with a beast, Jasmine chose a poor man, Ariel spent her life on land. We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly"

"Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge"

We know Kung Fu...And 20 other dangerous words

Girl 1 - "Hey! That's my EX-Boyfriend!" Girl 2 - "Relaaaaaax! I'm just recycling!"

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

I am generally very brave. Today, I just happen to have a headache.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

I've heard that it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

I asked my teacher if I'd get in trouble for something I didn't do. She said of course not, so I told her I didn't do my homework

"We may not make good decisions But hell, we make good stories."

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."

It's you and me against the world...we attack at dawn.

Being mature is overrated.

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you're wrong.

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realised that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

Bad decisions make good stories.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

! The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

! When there's a will, I want to be in it.

! "It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt-then it's hilarious!"

! You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

! My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.

! If a parent/guardian asks you, "What did you learn at school today?" answer, "I learnt how to survive it."

! When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

! To attract men, wear a perfume called New Car Interior.

! Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie.

! Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

! She's my best friend. Break her heart and I'll break your face.

! (Say to a boy:) Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

! I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago.

! Real friends don't let you do stupid things... alone.

! Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

! When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them!

! Don't count the days, make the days count

! Yeah, the grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow

! Be thankful for what you have, because it's probably more than most

! I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

! I'm not crazy, you're just more sane than I am

! I used up all my sick I called in dead

! I did what they say and chose the road less travelled... Now if only I can figure out where I am..

When I said 'death' before 'dishonour', I meant alphabetically.

You're about as useful as a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest.

Dyslexics Of The World Untie.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.

I got cold hard cash for Christmas. Five bucks frozen in a block of ice.

Being dyslexic has drawbacks. I once went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway?

If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?

I went to a restaurant that served breakfast at anytime, so i ordered French toast during the renaissance.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Imagine there were no hypothetical situations.

Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children.

Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?

Tennis is a fickle sport. No matter how good you are at it, a wall will always be better.

I still miss my ex-girlfriend, but my aim is improving.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

The noblest of dogs is the hot dog, it feeds the hand that bites it.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

I told the butcher I'd give him $10 if he got the meat down off the top shelf. He said he couldn't. The steaks were too high.

The most effective copyright protection known to man : a scratched CD.

It appears the location of my fist and your head are not mutually exclusive! It is a probability miracle!

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Coffee just isn't my cup of tea.

Don't steal. The government hates competition.

! I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

! Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

! You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

! Where's the good in goodbye?

! I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. (I do!)

! We all smile in the same language

! My door is always open, so feel free to leave

! Second place is the first loser

! Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

! Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

! I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore, I'm perfect!

! Our health teacher told us that "1 out of 3 people who start smoking will eventually die." The other two apparently became immortal.

! I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!

! People keeps complaining I don't listen to them...or something like that.

! Intelligence has limits, stupidity doesn't.

! confuses people!

! If it wasn't for electricity, we would all be watching TV by candle light.

! A balanced diet is a piece of chocolate in each hand

! He who laughs last thinks slowest

! Did you know 8 out of 3 people don't get fractions?

! We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colours, but they still learn to live in the same box.

! You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same

! A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing

! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid

! A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort

! Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

! Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

! Anyone can make you smile, Many people can make you cry, but it takes someone really special to make you smile with tears in your eyes

! Growing older is mandatory. Growing up is Optional

! You say I've lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can't lose what you never had."

! Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

! Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid

! You asked what was wrong and I said NOTHING but then I turned around and whispered EVERYTHING

! True friends are hard to find, Harder to leave, and Impossible to forget

! Why are the Force and duct tape the same? Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together

! I ran with scissors, and lived!

! Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

! Everyone has a photographic memory... some just don't have film.

! They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people

! Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the titanic...

! Whoever said that words never hurt obviously has never got hit by a dictionary.

! Whoever says 'as easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried to.

! A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

! "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

! "God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns

! "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"

! Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words.

! Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

! Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

! Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

! I'm not AD--Ooh, look, a butterfly!

! I'm a dinosaur, so, like, rawr and stuff.

! Nope, can't go to Hell. Satan still has that restraining order against me...

! I reject your reality and substitute my own.

! I'm give me my cookies.

! Boys in books are just...Better!

! It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

! You couldn't handle me...even in your wildest dreams.

! You know you're a geek when procrastination doesn't affect your grades.

! When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate. Because your worth it!

! "I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love."

! My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil.

! "Cross country is the only sport...everything else is such a game."

! "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

! Boys are like slinky, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

! "An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."

! "Pondering the meaning of life is a waste of your life. Who really cares?"

! The awkward moment when you find out your toys have made 3 movies behind your back

! World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimization.

! I'm not a psychopath, I'm just very creative

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; it's already tomorrow in Australia.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good...

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

A day without sunshine is...night.

When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like heck.

Don't follow in my footsteps... I run into walls.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most, live the longest

I’m Out Of My Mind Feel Free To Leave A Message.

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like a chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.

You're jealous cuz the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

No trespassing, violators will be shot and survivors will be shot again.

If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

If silence is golden, then why is duct tape silver?

Join the dark side. We have cookies!

There are two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the universe.

You always get what's coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.

The trouble with real life is that there is no background music

I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

Forecast for tonight: darkness

If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?

I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

How come when you mix water with sugar, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go?

If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.

Hell is full of musical amateurs

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line

I'm not random I just have many thoughts

I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes

Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.

Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labour.

If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense

If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the hell are you scared?!

Have you considered suing your brain for non-support?

! Lord Vader: "I will say this once - women are a dangerous proposition, son. I got married, and brought down two galactic governments as a result

"A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?" -Albert Einstein

'Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.'
There is no beginning or end.. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift and that's why it's called the present

When it rains on my parade, I bust out my slip n’ slide.

'Liar, liar, pants on fire' is such a crude insult. It's rough, and trashy. But, 'Teller of untruths, your trousers have combusted', is so much more sophisticated, don't you think?

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

I hear voices in my head. But that’s alright. Most of them are pretty nice.

The world is full of crazy people. They made me their leader.

I run with scissors….it makes me feel dangerous.

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Am I the only one who finds it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.

I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

Some see the glass half empty, some see it half full. Me? I just want to know who’s been drinking my soda!!!

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on -the back of a cat and drop it?

Of course I’m out of mind! It’s dark and scary in there!

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I’m an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.

Normal people scare me….but not as much as I scare them.

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it is usually an oncoming train.

What is this “normal” you speak of? Stay away I don’t want to catch your “normal”!

Pssh. Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.

I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

I’d explain it to you but your brain would explode.

When all else fails bring out the duct tape.

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one

I don't need your attitude. I got one of my own.

Very few personal problems can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives.

There are three types of people: those who can count, and those who can't.

I see regular people! Run for your lives!

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

Normal people scare me. A lot.

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me.

What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.

I think they named oranges before they named carrots. "Hey, what are these?" "They're Orange." "What about these?" "Ah Shoot!"

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Embrace the inner rebel - don't sit up straight.

I write for the same reason I breathe; if I didn't I would die.

Why can pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance?

Why are they called apartments when they all stick together?

The world is out to get me. Hide me in your closet and don’t let it find me.

There’s nothing better than a good friend except a good friend with chocolate!

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones.

If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.

I’m bored…run for your sanity.

Life is life a corndog. I just haven’t figured out why yet.

When life hands you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how.

When life gives you lemons, squirt it in life’s eye and see how much life likes lemons then.

Don’t walk in my footsteps. I tend to walk into walls or off the occasional cliff.

One story has to its end- but only so the next one can begin. The future is still full of uneasy and unanswered questions so let’s continue our journey to our answers!

Destroy is such a strong word! I prefer ‘redecorated for free’.

Every day I think people can't get any stupider, and everyday I'm proven horribly wrong.

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, and a Band Aid can't fix it, then you have a serious problem.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. Your best friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying 'That was freakin’ awesome!'

My father was a beekeeper before me, his father was a beekeeper. I want to follow in their footsteps. And their -footsteps were like this. (Runs screaming) AAAAAAAH! I'm covered in beeeeees!

"if at first you don't succeed, try walking around the brick wall."

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."

-"Ever stopped to think and forgot to start again?"

Wizarding Pick Up Lines

We may not be in Professor Flitwick's class, but you still are charming.

My love for you burns like a dying phoenix.

Being without you is like being under the Cruciatus Curse.

If I was to look into the Mirror of Erised, I would see the two of us together.

What do you say we disapparate out of here.

You know, when I said, "Accio hottie," I didn't expect it to work!

Will you be my horcrux tonight, so l can give a piece of my soul to you?

You must not be a Muggle, because you cast a spell on me.

Are you using the Confundus charm or are you just naturally mind blowing?

I must need Occlumency, because I can't get you out of my thoughts.

I might as well be under the Imperius curse, because I'd do anything for you.

Your smile's like expelliarmus: simple but disarming.

Did you survive Avada Kedavra? 'Cause you're drop dead gorgeous.

I need a pensieve because my head is filled with thoughts about you.

Cho Chang? More like Cha-Ching! Cause I just hit the jackpot.

Would you like a butterbeer? It's a portkey. Next thing you know we'll be back at my place.

I don't need the mirror of Erised to know that you're everything I desire.

Did you use Relashio? 'Cause there's sparks between us.

Did you slip some Firewhiskey into my drink, or are you just getting hotter?

How 'bout you and me go look for the Room of Requirement?

Will you be my horcrux tonight, so l can give a piece of my soul to you?

I know you want me to manage your mischief!

You don't need defense against my dark arts.

Are you a bogart? 'Cause I have a fear of hot girls.

After a romantic night with me, you are going to need a timeturner because you are going to want to experience it again and again.

Your smile's like expelliarmus: simple but disarming.

My heart's splinched without you.

Did you survive Avada Kedavra? 'Cause you're drop dead gorgeous.

I can be your house elf. I'll do whatever you want and I don't need any clothes.

I need a pensieve because my head is filled with thoughts about you.

If you were a basilisk, I wouldn't mind dying just to look into your eyes.

Are you a dementor? Because you send chills up my spine.

Are you a dementor? Because you just took my breath away.

I don't need the mirror of Erised to know that you're everything I desire.

Not even Veritaserum could make me express how much I’m truly attracted to you.

If you were a Dementor I would turn criminal just to get your kiss.

It's true we don't know what we've got until we lose it. But it's also true we don't know what we're missing until it arrives.

I told my wife a husband is like a fine wine, he gets better with age. The next day she locked me in the cellar.

A child of 5 would understand this. Send someone to find a child of 5- Groucho Marx

Never, ever, underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Marriage is made in heaven, but then again so are thunder and lightning.

Be yourself, everyone is already taken- Oscar Wilde

I believe in dragons, fairies, good men and other mythical creatures

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens- Woody Allens

A pessimist is a man who looks both ways before crossing a one way street- Laurence J Peter

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt- Charles M Schulz

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble, When in trouble, delegate.

Yesterday was the deadline on all complaints

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill

Don't take life seriously, you'll never get out of it alive

A farewell is necessary before we can meet again, after moments or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends.

Friends will come and go but enemies accumulate

I'm not cynical, just experienced

Bureaucrats do not change the course of the ship, they merely adjust the compass

Great minds have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds- Albert Einstein

To err is human, to forgive is not company policy

I know you think you know what I said but what I said isn't what I meant.

Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible

Work fascinates me, I could sit and watch it for hours

This is either a forgery or a damn clever original- Frank Sullivan

An amateur is someone who supports himself with other outside jobs which enables him to paint. A professional is someone who's wife works to enable him to paint- Ben Shahn

If it sells, it's art- Frank Lloyd

When having my portrait painted I don't want justice, I want mercy- Billy Hughes

A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor- Ring Lardner

I love being a writer, I just hate the paper work- Peter de Vries

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.- Tom Clancy

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff

I am so clever sometimes that I don't understand a single word of what I am saying

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove you don't need it- Bob Hope

For Sale: Parachute, only used once, never opened, small stain

Death is hereditary

A consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come

Everyone makes mistake. The secret is to make them when no-one is looking.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side

To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.

They didn't let me out, they just gave me a day pass.

Anger is merely depression without enthusiasm.

When God made man, she was only joking.

I don't drink; it dulls the drugs.

God must love stupid people- he made so many!

I like children. Properly cooked.

Mirrors can't talk. And lucky for you they can't laugh.

I wish I could kill the sexiest person alive but suicide is a crime!

Adults are just kids with money.

TGIF- Thank God I'm female.

Someday your prince will come. Mine took a wrong turn and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Keep honking! I'm reloading!

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

-Do unto others before they do unto you.

Nothing is illegal until you get caught.

Be nice to your kids, they'll chose your nursing home.

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you.

Men are idiots and I married their king.

Behind every good man, there is a good woman. And behind every good woman, there's another man looking at her butt.

Follow your dreams... except the one when you're at school in your underwear.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

Behind every successful man, there is a surprised woman.

The more I know about men, the more I admire dogs.

They keep saying the right person will come along; I think a truck hit mine

Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.

I'm not littering I'm donating to the earth

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalks

Doctors say I have multiple personalities, but we don't agree with that

Don't judge a book by its movie.

Getting on your feet requires getting off your butt.

My child sold your HONOR STUDENT the answers to the test.

If you have something to say, raise your hand. Then place it over your mouth.

Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

I'm the kind of person my parents want me to stay away from.

Boys will be boys ... so will a lot of middle aged men.

Why do people say "no offense" when they're about to offend someone?

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.

I like children... fried.

When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven't seen the joke yet.

You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent.

A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.

Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.

The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

If at first you don't succeed... So much for skydiving.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing.

An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off.

Until I was thirteen I thought my name was 'Shut up'.

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids.

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I said if you don't mind I'd like a second opinion, he said- Alright, you're -

ugly too!

I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big I'd get.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

If your born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days?

Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?

How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

If you tell someone they are being judgmental aren't you being judgmental yourself?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

How did the headless horseman know where he was going?

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!!

If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!

Consciousness- that annoying time between naps.

Guys are like lava lamps; they're fun to look at just not so bright!

"Love's a two-way street and I think your car just died"

Out to lunch: If not back by five, out for dinner also.

A repair shop: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)

All great discoveries are made by mistake.

All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.

If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know.

If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.

Love starts with a hug, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear!

Friends are God's way of apologizing for our families.

If all the world's a stage, then I want to open the trap door.

Keep your friends close, keep your enemies tied up with fishing wire in your basement.

Tobacco's whack! If you're still drunk from beer.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away... if you throw it hard enough.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary

I didn't fall for you, you tripped me.

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

Don't follow me, I'm lost too

It's always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I've found it?

I'm sick of following my dreams, I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later

Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them

Set sail in a general that way direction

Love? I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

If the world is full of crazy people, THEY'D MAKE ME THEIR LEADER.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

Have seen my sanity? I seem to have lost it

364 days of the years kids are told not to take candy from strangers, but on Halloween it's encouraged! Why is that?

It may be that your whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

At least you're not being rectally probed by aliens.

What if, at this very moment, you are living up to your full potential?

The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do we drink *cow* milk?? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em.

My favourite poem is the one that starts "Thirty days have September" because it actually tells you something.

Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day.

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

So what if we act like imature idiots? We're having fun.

When in doubt, push random buttons!

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.

'Define normal.'

All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.

If you can't fix it with duck tape you haven't used enough

Smile and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think you’re on drugs.

"Where there's a will, there's a way. And where there's a way, then there's usually a stop sign somewhere along the road."

Every morning is the dawn of a new error

I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...

Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans

Does the noise in my head bother you?

It's no secret that a liar won't believe in anyone else

Diplomacy is about surviving until the next century. Politics is about surviving until Friday afternoon.

A person knows she has found his true love when they call that person and say: Honey, I just killed someone. And that persons response is: Where do we hide the body?

"Anybody here who believes in telekinesis, raise my hand."

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.

Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics

If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable

Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?

Happiness is just around the corner!
Too bad the world is round!

Friend: I don’t like being in your head. There are some very scary things in there.

Me: Ahh! Thank you. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s every said to me

I hit rock bottom. Then I start digging.

You have to think outside the cardboard cube.

Insert evil laugh here

You, off my planet!

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging!

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick

My favorite word is sarcasm.

Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

It is time that I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

Tell the truth and run

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

Never interrupt your opponent while he’s making a mistake.

It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.

As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.

Fiction writing is great; you can make up almost anything.

True friendship is when two friends can walk in opposite directions, yet remain side by side.

Your friend is the person who knows all about you, and still like you.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

People fear the strange and unusual. I am the strange and unusual."

What you call insanity, I call inspiration.

"Knowledge is power; power is the root of all-evil. Therefore studying is evil."

"You know what?! Earth sucks, I'm going home."

Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!

Do not believe in miracles, rely on them.

We all can't be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the sides and clap as they go by.

I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.

My ambition is to live forever - so far, so good!

Don't follow in my footsteps, because I run into a lot of walls.

Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting.

Don't talk about yourself so much... we'll do that when you leave.

If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

This morning I looked down at my unmade bed and decided that it was art in another medium and I should not destroy it.

If you can't say anything nice...come sit by us.

Know what I'm thinking? No. Neither do I; frightening, isn't it?

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

Never say "OOPS!" always say "Ah, Interesting!"

This isn't burger king, you can't have it your way.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

Extremely tedious people don't get that way by accident. It takes years of practice."

Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage

Spring is nature’s way of saying, Let’s Party!

Have you ever seen the headline, Physic wins the lottery?!

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education!

‘no comment’ IS a comment!

If you love your job, you haven’t worked a day in your life

Heredity is something you believe in if you have a smart and talented child

May all your troubles last as long as your new year resolutions.

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake

"Your time is valuable. Before taking the time to critically evaluate an issue, ask the question, ‘Who cares?’"

They're the harbingers of doom. They multiply like tribbles. They care not for canon information. They're plot bunnies and they will not be denied!

Eagles may fly, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Violence is not the answer. Violence is the question. The answer is 'yes'.

Incoming enemy fire has the right-of-way.

Everyone’s entitled t’be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

It’s a bit like trying to nail jello to a tree."

Best done with patience and a bigger hammer? Exactly.

A little blood, a dash of carnage and property damage, not the worst way to spend a few years, is it?

"Did I do something wrong today, or has the world always been like this and I've been too wrapped up in myself to notice?"

its easier to be open minded when your one of the things people didn't believe in

"Due to Lack of Interest, Tomorrow Has Been Canceled."--unknown

Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth

Hide the bodies, otherwise people ask embarrassing questions

This has long day written all over it

he was a genius, but had the emotional competence of a turnip

The past is best served as a flaming cocktail.

be strong enough to rule the world, but wise enough to not.

It's like we fell down the rabbit hole, and woke up in... I don't know. Stephen King's basement.

"I don't know what's crazier. The fact that you think this will work or the fact that it actually is."

"I know. It's a conundrum."

FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost. BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive. BEST FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down. BEST FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because she tripped me.

FRIENDS: Lets me make an idiot of myself in public. BEST FRIENDS: Are up there with me making an idiot out of themselves too.

Ever wonder...

where we are headed...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why you have to click on "Start" to stop most Windows versions?

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?

Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food?

Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?

Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Why test results that state you have a deadly disease are called 'positive' results? Or when you do not have the disease, it is a 'negative' result?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book." Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

If you're following my car, you're lost too.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings! If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile! LONG LIVE PLUTO!

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of people I killed because they were annoying.

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

I, for one, do not believe that the universe should be as fragile as it is. It's where I keep all of my stuff.

Friends are like bras. They stay close to your heart and give you supprort.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because I just farted.

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Renesmee Carlie Cullen…

Even Albus Severus Potter is laughing at you…

SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike
English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves

Whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.


The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be

Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better one.

The women won (although in Spanish, it techinchally is La Computadora)

Dear ‘popular’ kids

Yeah, you can tease me, use me, bully me, make fun of me all you like, because when I’m your boss, I’ll be laughing my ass off.

Sincerely Nerds of the World

Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.

Be yourself. That's crazy enough.

Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret!

The Percy Jackson pledge:

I promise to remember Percy
whenever I'm at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''
I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remember Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car.
yes I promise to remember PJO


I promise to remember The Stolls
whenever my home is beginning to unsettle
I promise to remember Beckendorf
whenever I see someone working metal
I promise to remember Silena
whenever a friend takes one for the team
I promise to remember Micheal Yew
whenever I see a smile that gleams
I promise to remember Briares
whenever I see someone playing hand games
I promise to remember those lost in the Battle of the Labyrinth
whenever I see a cloth in flames
I promise to remember those campers who fought against Kronos
whenever I see someone going against the odds.

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast

PJO FANS:will tell Zeus to make it rain



NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings

PJO FANS:won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!

PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid

PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!

PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms

PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation

PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood

NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile

PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile!

Now For Some PJ Quotes!!

"Grover was sniffing the wind, looking nervous. He fished out his acorns and threw them into the sand, then played his pipes. They rearranged themselves in a pattern that made no sense to me, but Grover looked concerned.

"That's us," he said. "Those five nuts right there."

"Which one is me?" I asked.

"The little deformed one," Zoe suggested.

"Dreams like a podcast,
Downloading truth in my ears.
They tell me cool stuff.

"Apollo?" I guess, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad.
He put his finger to his lips. "I'm incognito. Call me Fred."
"A god named Fred?"

Aphrodite: "Love conquers all," Aphrodite promised. "Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?"

Percy: "Didn't they start the Trojan War and get thousands of people killed?"

Aphrodite: "Pfft. That's not the point. Follow your heart."

Rachel: They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb.
Annabeth: Was it hard?"

"We only came close to dying six or seven times, which i thought was pretty good. Once, I lst my grip and found myself dangling by one hand from a ledge fifty feet above the rocky surf. But I found another handhold and kept climbing. A minute later Annabeth hit a slippery patch of moss and her foot slipped. Fortunately, she found something else to put it against. Unfortunately, that something was my face.
"Sorry," she murrmured.
"S'okay," I grunted, though I'd never really wanted to know what Annabeth's sneaker tasted like."

"God alert! Blackjack yelled. It's the wine dude!

Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!""

""Wow," Thalia muttered. "Apollo is hot."
"He's the sun god," I said
"That's not what I meant.""

"I don't recommend shadow travel if you're scared of:

a) The dark
b) Cold shivers up your spine
c) Strange noises
d) Going so fast you feel like your face is peeling off

In other words, I thought it was awesome.

"In a way, it's nice to know that there are Greek gods out there, because you have somebody to blame when things go wrong. For instance, when you're walking away from a bus that's just been attacked by monster hags and blown up by lightning, and it's raining on top of everything else, most people might think that's just really bad luck; when you're a half-blood, you understand that some devine force is really trying to mess up your day."

"I nodded, looking at Rachel with respect. "You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush."

"Dance you guys!" Thalia ordered. "You look stupid just standing there."
I looked nervously at Annabeth, then at the groups of girls who were roaming the gym.
"Well?" Annabeth asked.
"Um, who should I ask?"
She punched me in the gut. "Me, Seaweed Brain."
"Oh. Oh right."

"You are okay?" he asked. "Not eaten by monsters?"
"Not even a little bit." I showed him that I still had both arms and both legs, and Tyson clapped happily.
"Yay!" he said. "Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!"
I hoped he didn't mean all at the same time, but I told him absolutely, we'd have a lot of fun this summer."

"The real story of the Fleece: there were these two children of Zeus, Cadmus and Europa, okay? They were about to get offered up as human sacrifices, when they prayed to Zeus to save them. So Zeus sent this magical flying ram with golden wool, which picked them up in Greece and carried them all the way to Colchis in Asia Minor. Well, actually it carried Cadmus. Europa fell off and died along the way, but that's not important."
"It was probably important to her."

"Hades raised an eyebrow. When he sat forward in his throne, shadowy faces appeared in the folds of his black robes, faces of torment,as if the garment was stitched of trapped souls from the Fields of Punishment, trying to get out. The ADHD part of me wondered, off-task, whether the rest of his clothes were made the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades' underwear?"

"Braccas meas vescimini!"
I wasn't sure where the Latin came from. I think it meant 'Eat my pants!"

"My name is Percy Jackson.
I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.
Am I a troubled kid?
Yeah. You could say that."

"It doesn't matter if they hate you, or embarrass you, or simply don't appreciate your genius for inventing the internet-"
"You invented the internet?"
It was my idea, Martha said.
Rats are delicious, George said.
"It was my idea!" Hermes said. "I mean the internet, not the rats. But that's not the point."

"You're a stalker with hooves."
"I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing."

"She raised an eyebrow. "You got something to say to me, Seaweed Brain?"

You'd probably kick my butt."

You know I'd kick your butt."

I brushed the cake off my hands. "When I was at the River Styx, turning invulnerable . . . Nico said I had to concentrate on one thing that kept me anchored to the world, that made me want to stay mortal."

Annabeth kept her eyes on the horizon. "Yeah?"

Then up on Olympus," I said, "when they wanted to make me a god and stuff, I kept thinking-"

"Oh, you so wanted to."

Well, maybe a little. But I didn't, because I thought-I didn't want things to stay the same for eternity, because things could always get better. And I was thinking . . ." My throat felt really dry.

Anyone in particular?" Annabeth asked, her voice soft.

I looked over and saw that she was trying not to smile.

You're laughing at me," I complained.

I am not!"

You are so not making this easy."

Then she laughed for real, and she put her hands
around my neck. "I am never, ever going to make things easy for you, Seaweed Brain. Get used to it."

"Why can't you place a blessing like that on us?" I asked.

It only works on wild animals."

So it would only affect Percy," Annabeth reasoned.

"Okay," I said. "Just a normal afternoon and two normal people."
She nodded. "And so...hypothetically, if these to people likes each other, what would it take to get the stupid guy to kiss the girl, huh?"
"Oh..." I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows-slow, dumb, and bright red. "Um..."

"You weren't able to talk sense into him?"

Well, we kind of tried to kill each other in a duel to the death."

I see. You tried the diplomatic approach."

"I turned to Dionysus. "You cured him?"
"Madness is my specialty. It was quite simple."
" did something nice. Why?"
He raised and eyebrow. "I am nice! I simple ooze niceness, Perry Johansson. Haven't you noticed?"

"Argh!" Thalia pushed me, and a shock went through my body that blew me backward ten feet into the water. Some of the campers gasped. A couple of the Hunters stifled laughs.
"Sorry!" Thalia said, turning pale. "I didn't mean to—"
Anger roared in my ears. A wave erupted from the creek, blasting into Thalia's face and dousing her from head to toe.
I stood up. "Yeah," I growled. "I didn't mean to, either."
Thalia was breathing heavily.
"Enough!" Chiron ordered.
But Thalia held out her spear. "You want some, Seaweed Brain?"
Somehow, it was okay when Annabeth called me that — at least, I'd gotten used to it — but hearing it from Thalia was not cool.
"Bring it on, Pinecone Face!"

"Aretmis gripped her bow. "Let us pray I am wrong."
Can goddesses pray?"

"The Council agrees," Zeus said. "Percy Jackson, you will have one gift from the gods."
I hesitated. "Any gift?"
Zeus nodded grimly. "I know what you will ask. The greatest gift of all. Yes, if you want it, it shall be yours. The gods have not bestowed this gift on a mortal hero in many centuries, but, Perseus Jackson-if you wish it-you shall be made a god. Immortal. Undying. You shall serve as your father's lieutenant for all time."
I stared at him, stunned. "Um...a god?"
Zeus rolled his eyes. "A dimwitted god, apparently. But yes. With the consensus of the entire Council, I can make you immortal. Then I will have to put up with you forever."
"Hmm," Ares mused. "That means I can smash him to a pulp as often as I want, and he'll just keep coming back for more. I like this idea."

"As for my brothers," Zeus said, "we are thankful"-he cleared his throat like the words were hard to get out-"erm, thankful for the aid of Hades."
The lord of the dead nodded. He had a smug look on his face, but I figure he'd earned the right. He patted his son Nico on the shoulders, and Nico looked happier than I'd ever seen him.
"And, of course," Zeus continued, though he looked like his pants were smoldering, "we Poseidon."
"I'm sorry, brother," Poseidon said. "What was that?"
"We must thank Poseidon," Zeus growled. "Without whom . . . it would've been difficult-"
"Difficult?" Poseidon asked innocently.
"Impossible," Zeus said. "Impossible to defeat Typhon."

"Mr. D, wearing his leopard-skin jogging suit and rummaging through the refrigerator.
He looked up lazily. "Do you mind?"
Where's Chiron!" I shouted.
How rude." Mr. D took a swig from a jug of grape juice. "Is that how you say hello?"
Hello," I amended. "We're about to die! Where's Chiron?"

"Hermes smiled. "I knew a boy once ... oh, younger than you by far. A mere baby, really."
Here we go again, George said. Always talking about himself.
Quiet! Martha snapped. Do you want to get set on vibrate?
Hermes ignored them. "One night, when this boy's mother wasn't watching, he sneaked out of their cave and stole some cattle that belonged to Apollo."
"Did he get blasted to tiny pieces?" I asked.
"Hmm ... no. Actually, everything turned out quite well. To make up for his theft, the boy gave Apollo an instrument he'd invented-a lyre. Apollo was so enchanted with the music that he forgot all about being angry."
So what's the moral?"
"The moral?" Hermes asked. "Goodness, you act like it's a fable. It's a true story. Does truth have a moral?"
"Um ..."
"How about this: stealing is not always bad?"
"I don't think my mom would like that moral."
Rats are delicious, suggested George.
What does that have to do with the story? Martha demanded.
Nothing, George said. But I'm hungry.
"I've got it," Hermes said. "Young people don't always do what they're told, but if they can pull it off and do something wonderful, sometimes they escape punishment. How's that?"

"Meat!" he said scornfully. "I'm a vegetarian."

You eat cheese enchiladas and aluminum cans," I reminded him.

Those are vegetables."

"The older lady harrumphed. "I warned you, daughter. This scoundrel Hades is no good. You could've married the god of doctors or the god of lawyers, but noooo. You had to eat the pomegranate."
"And get stuck in the Underworld!"
"Mother, please-"
"And here it is August, and do you come home like you're supposed to? Do you ever think about your poor lonely mother?"
"DEMETER!" Hades shouted. "That is enough. You are a guest in my house."
"Oh, a house is it?" she said. "You call this dump a house? Make my daughter live in this dark, damp-"
"I told you," Hades said, grinding his teeth, "there's a war in the world above. You and Persephone are better off here with me."
"Excuse me," I broke in. "But if you're going to kill me, could you just get on with it?"

"Husband, we talked about this," Persephone chided. "You can't go around incinerating every hero. Besides, he's brave. I like that."
Hades rolled his eyes. "You liked that Orpheus fellow too. Look how well that turned out."

"Percy," Apollo said, "I wouldn't worry too much. The last Great Prophecy about you took almost seventy years to complete. This one may not even happen in your lifetime."
I thought about the lines Rachel had spoken in that creepy voice: about storm and fire and the Doors of Death. "Maybe," I said, "but it didn't sound so good."
"No," said Apollo cheerfully. "It certainly didn't. She's going to make a wonderful Oracle!"

"You do know how to play pinochle?" Mr. D eyed me suspiciously.
"I'm afraid not," I said.
"I'm afraid not, sir," he said.
"Well," he told me, "it is, along with gladiator fighting and Pac-Man, one of the greatest games ever invented by humans. I would expect all civilized young men to know the rules

I past another telkhine, who was so startled he dropped his Lil' Demons lunch box. I left him alive - partly because he had a cool lunch box..."

You Titans are about as bright as my gym socks."

"Kronos couldn't have risen if it hadn't been for a lot of demigods who felt abandoned by their parents," I said. "They felt angry, resentful, and unloved, and they had a good reason."
Zeus's royal nostrils flared. "You dare accuse-"
"No more undetermined children," I said. "I want you to promise to claim your children-all your demigod children-by the time they turn thirteen. They won't be left out in the world on their own at the mercy of monsters. I want them claimed and brought to camp so they can be trained right, and survive."
"Now, wait just a moment," Apollo said, but I was on a roll.
"And the minor gods," I said. "Nemesis, Hecate, Morpheus, Janus, Hebe--they all deserve a general amnesty and a place at Camp Half-Blood. Their children shouldn't be ignored. Calypso and the other peaceful Titan-kind should be pardoned too. And Hades-"
"Are you calling me a minor god?" Hades bellowed

"Percy: The Heka-what?
Annabeth: The Hundred-Handed Ones. They called them that because... well, they had a hundred hands. They were the elder brothers of the Cyclopes.
Tyson: Very powerful. Wonderful! As tall as the sky. So strong they can break mountains!
Percy: Cool. Unless you're a mountain."

"But who are you?"

Percy—" I started to say. Then the skeletons turned around. "Gotta go!"

What kind of name is Percy Gotta-go?"

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Undying Fire by Boogum reviews
It all started when an arrow hit the wrong target. Now Zuko must struggle to come to terms with this new and confusing vision of the world; a world where Avatars offer friendship, good and evil is just a blurred line of grey, and ... he can heal?
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 31 - Words: 211,982 - Reviews: 968 - Favs: 1,274 - Follows: 1,499 - Updated: 10/11 - Published: 5/6/2012 - Zuko, Gaang
Harry Potter and the Nightmares of Futures Past by S'TarKan reviews
The war is over. Too bad no one is left to celebrate. Harry makes a desperate plan to go back in time, even though it means returning Voldemort to life. Now an 11 year old Harry with 30 year old memories is starting Hogwarts. Can he get it right?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 419,605 - Reviews: 13988 - Favs: 18,528 - Follows: 17,879 - Updated: 9/8 - Published: 10/28/2005 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Wand and Shield by Morta's Priest reviews
The world is breaking; war and technology are pushing on the edge of the unbelievable, and S.H.I.E.L.D. desperately attempts to keep the peace. The soldier and the scientist are not the only lights that push back against the darkness, however; magic will encompass the world again as the last wizard makes himself known.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 33 - Words: 260,787 - Reviews: 6649 - Favs: 10,923 - Follows: 12,638 - Updated: 7/22 - Published: 6/2/2012 - Harry P.
The Other Prisoner by C. S. Fleeting reviews
I hadn't asked for this. I hadn't asked for this life, for twisted agony suppressed by fake smiles and weak laughter. I hadn't asked for torture. I didn't want this - who would want this? All I had asked for was him, and I had asked for too much. Wren Fillory - SB/OC JP/LE Multiple Eras
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 9,479 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 6/28 - Published: 8/19/2011 - [Sirius B., OC] Remus L., Marauders
Bringing Out the Blue by maguena1 reviews
AU. The arrow injured the Blue Spirit instead of knocking him out, and Aang never found out his identity. Zuko made a Plan to find out more about the Avatar. He didn't expect so many truths to come from the lies.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 26 - Words: 249,291 - Reviews: 1033 - Favs: 1,870 - Follows: 1,890 - Updated: 6/24 - Published: 4/14/2011 - Zuko
An Aunt's Love by Emma Lipardi reviews
Harry comes home from school and Petunia is upset at the change in her nephew. Petunia decides to do what she should have been doing all along. Dumbledore had better stay away. Petunia Dursley is upset. Warnings on profile.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 72 - Words: 360,492 - Reviews: 14647 - Favs: 10,113 - Follows: 9,766 - Updated: 5/28 - Published: 12/30/2004 - Harry P.
Harry Potter and the Power of Paranoia by arekay reviews
The events at the end of the Triwizard Tournament have left Harry feeling just a little bit paranoid.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 103,719 - Reviews: 3664 - Favs: 5,424 - Follows: 5,704 - Updated: 3/31 - Published: 6/26/2012 - Harry P. - Complete
I See The Moon by hctiB-notsoB reviews
Gen. "While on the run, Bruce meets a young man who speaks to the moon. He's probably not quite the sanest friend Bruce could have made, but, well...beggers can't be choosers."
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 40,930 - Reviews: 4141 - Favs: 8,713 - Follows: 10,541 - Updated: 1/18 - Published: 6/13/2012 - Harry P., Hulk/Bruce B.
The Childhood of a Sociopath by wh0lockian reviews
Sherlock wasn't always the sociopath he is now, he just had a push in that direction, leading himself to believe it was true. THIS STORY IS SET IN MODERN DAY. I don't know about the 80s so I've stuck to what I know so it's slightly AU but not really. Kid!lock Teen!lock Uni!lock. Will be undergoing rewrite when finished.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 84 - Words: 182,918 - Reviews: 767 - Favs: 472 - Follows: 492 - Updated: 8/14/2014 - Published: 5/14/2012 - Sherlock H., Mycroft H., Molly Hooper, Anderson
Dragon at Heart by Identical Gemini reviews
AU. Prince Zuko quits his hunt for Aang to look for his mother instead, but when the reunion with Ursa doesn't go well, Zuko goes through a metamorphosis to find a new path. Meanwhile, Gaang are forced to realize the world isn't black 'n white. Dragons, friendships and major changes to plot.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 36 - Words: 223,749 - Reviews: 819 - Favs: 868 - Follows: 928 - Updated: 6/24/2014 - Published: 12/13/2011 - Zuko
An Untold Beginning by HeatherMichelly reviews
The daughter of Sirius Black grew up in an orphanage of muggles when no one in the wizarding world would take her in. How will her world unravel when she finally discovers who she really is?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 37 - Words: 198,942 - Reviews: 595 - Favs: 360 - Follows: 449 - Updated: 6/10/2014 - Published: 11/16/2011 - OC, Sirius B.
Harry Crow by robst reviews
What will happen when a goblin-raised Harry arrives at Hogwarts. A Harry who has received training, already knows the prophecy and has no scar. With the backing of the goblin nation and Hogwarts herself. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 106 - Words: 737,006 - Reviews: 25110 - Favs: 13,866 - Follows: 11,618 - Updated: 6/8/2014 - Published: 6/5/2012 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
Games We Play by Sidonh reviews
In which Sherlock draws yet another soul to his crime solving escapades by the simple virtue of him not being as boring as the rest of his peers. The only problem was that she was a criminal and criminals should really stay away from detectives. It wasn't how her return to London was supposed to go. But then, at least dead bodies are more original than welcome-home parties.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Crime - Chapters: 34 - Words: 127,863 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 4/13/2014 - Published: 7/9/2012 - Sherlock H., John W., Mycroft H., OC
Art Of Not Caring by Nothingsperfect reviews
Hailee Vance was an outcast. She was constantly waking up to find out that apparently she had killed herself the night before. She didn't mind the rumours though; she had never cared what anyone thought of her, until now.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 46,803 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 4/3/2014 - Published: 12/16/2011 - [OC, Albus S. P.] Rose W. - Complete
A Study in Magic by Books of Change reviews
When Professor McGonagall went to visit Harry Watson, son of Mr. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, to deliver his Hogwarts letter, she was in the mindset of performing a familiar if stressful annual routine. Consequently she was unprepared for the shock of finding the cause behind Harry Potter's disappearance. BBC Sherlock HP crossover AU
Crossover - Harry Potter & Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 82 - Words: 516,000 - Reviews: 4678 - Favs: 4,935 - Follows: 4,395 - Updated: 3/28/2014 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Harry P., Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Harry Potter of Baker Street by Dayja reviews
Sherlock Holmes discovers family he never knew he had, and John Watson finds a child living in the cupboard. Crossover between BBC Sherlock and Harry Potter. NEW webcomic based off my story. See end notes of latest chapter for details.
Crossover - Sherlock & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 16 - Words: 41,221 - Reviews: 1318 - Favs: 3,866 - Follows: 4,930 - Updated: 3/7/2014 - Published: 9/20/2010 - Harry P., Sherlock H., John W.
To the Waters and the Wild by Paimpont reviews
While flying back from Godric's Hollow, Hagrid accidentally drops baby Harry over a wild forest. Harry is raised by rebel fairies until his Hogwarts letter arrives. The Dark Lord is in for a surprise... HP/LV romance. SLASH.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 62,146 - Reviews: 5079 - Favs: 7,176 - Follows: 8,715 - Updated: 2/21/2014 - Published: 4/3/2012 - Harry P., Voldemort
Deathly Hallowed by Shujin1 reviews
The Tale of Three Brothers was not a legend. It was a warning. No one cheats Death. And luckily for Lily Potter, the promise of the Cloak's return in exchange for her son's life was a fair deal. Stare into the abyss, Harry Potter, and we will see who blinks first.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 11 - Words: 77,463 - Reviews: 233 - Favs: 782 - Follows: 908 - Updated: 2/5/2014 - Published: 4/5/2013 - Harry P., Lily Evans P.
Embers by Vathara reviews
Dragon's fire is not so easily extinguished; when Zuko rediscovers a lost firebending technique, shifting flames can shift the world... Follows "Theft Absolute".
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 91 - Words: 757,722 - Reviews: 8136 - Favs: 4,882 - Follows: 3,008 - Updated: 1/18/2014 - Published: 9/24/2009 - Zuko, Iroh - Complete
But Who IS He? by Fool Who Follows reviews
Lestrade and co. get to know John a bit better. Gen, set shortly after ASIP. NOW WITH MOUSTACHE!MYCROFT IMAGE POSTED ON TUMBLR!
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Crime - Chapters: 13 - Words: 37,233 - Reviews: 834 - Favs: 1,726 - Follows: 1,927 - Updated: 10/11/2013 - Published: 2/5/2011 - DI Lestrade, John W.
Delenda Est by Lord Silvere reviews
Harry is a prisoner, and Bellatrix has fallen from grace. The accidental activation of Bella's treasured heirloom results in another chance for Harry. It also gives him the opportunity to make the acquaintance of the young and enigmatic Bellatrix Black as they change the course of history.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 46 - Words: 392,449 - Reviews: 6937 - Favs: 9,246 - Follows: 6,871 - Updated: 9/21/2013 - Published: 11/14/2009 - Harry P., Bellatrix L. - Complete
A spoonful of sugar by emletish reviews
...helps the medicine go down. Or so Ursa thought. But she has just taken a job as nanny to the Bei Fong's mysterious daughter. She discovers that when dealing with Toph Bei Fong - a giant heap of sugar is a more appropriate measurement. The tale of Ursa after the firenation and Toph before she was an earth bending master, told in a series of drabbles. fits with stalking universe
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 21 - Words: 18,595 - Reviews: 306 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 197 - Updated: 8/22/2013 - Published: 8/27/2012 - Toph, Ursa
Nothing to Lose by Writing Warriors reviews
This story, as a few are in the world of Harry Potter fanfiction, stems from one of those many ideas of Rorschachs Blot, entitled "Nothing to Lose." One of the areas this story will explore is the possible impact on Harry Potter and friends of the isolation that our dear old friend, Albus Dumbledore, always fed to him: this isolation will make up its own reality.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 59,681 - Reviews: 1363 - Favs: 2,424 - Follows: 2,000 - Updated: 5/1/2013 - Published: 11/1/2012 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Growing Up Black by Elvendork Nigellus reviews
What if Harry had been rescued from the Dursleys at age six and raised as the heir of the Noble and Most Ancient, etc.? This is the story of Aries Sirius Black. AU. Part I complete. Part II in progress.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 69 - Words: 234,225 - Reviews: 4300 - Favs: 5,861 - Follows: 5,994 - Updated: 4/18/2013 - Published: 11/30/2010 - Harry P., Sirius B.
The Well Groomed Mind by Lady Khali reviews
On Halloween 1994, Harry learns his mind isn't his own. On Samhain morn, he vows to question everything. Armed with logic and an unlikely ally, Harry makes a last ditch bid to reclaim his life. The goal: survive at all costs. On Hiatus.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 183,000 - Reviews: 3132 - Favs: 5,715 - Follows: 6,236 - Updated: 4/9/2013 - Published: 5/29/2012 - Harry P.
Lavender by Riddelly reviews
Mary Morstan never grows attached to her assignments. In fact, she completely separates herself from them, even going so far as to use pseudonyms while working. The name she said to him was Anthea.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,231 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 1/12/2013 - Published: 12/29/2012 - Anthea, John W. - Complete
Heartlessly Cursed by Mother-of-Monsters reviews
It takes a special heart to befriend a man cursed to be a sociopath. An interpretation of 'Beauty and the Beast' Rating may change in later chapters **Please do not redistribute my works to other sites such as goodreads or ebookstree without my express permission**
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 45,026 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 138 - Updated: 11/24/2012 - Published: 4/1/2012 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Saviour by Alvedans reviews
Realizing just what kind of a man she has married, Petunia leaves after an especially nasty fight, taking her two-year old son and nephew with her. Facing the struggle of raising two children on her own, she finds help in the most unsuspected of places.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,934 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 153 - Updated: 10/24/2012 - Published: 9/28/2012 - Petunia D., Fenrir G.
Trust Is A Relative Thing by Silverfawkes reviews
What if Petunia put the blame where it belonged instead of on Harry? OOC Petunia Dursley Rating for mild language
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 51 - Words: 219,068 - Reviews: 5405 - Favs: 5,713 - Follows: 6,414 - Updated: 10/16/2012 - Published: 12/31/2010 - Harry P.
The Perfect Suitor by Aelan Greenleaf reviews
She bursts through the door of the flat, her face flushed and her eyes wide, in a complete state of panic. "You have to hide!" - Molly's mother comes for an unexpected visit. Sherlock comes up with an inventive way to explain his presence. (Post-TRF)
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 30,291 - Reviews: 405 - Favs: 436 - Follows: 791 - Updated: 9/27/2012 - Published: 2/19/2012 - Sherlock H., Molly Hooper
The One Good Thing by R.L.Keeper reviews
AU: An unusual friendship blooms on the night of the full moon, a large black dog comes across a girl who walks the corridors of Hogwarts as if she were a ghost. Unable to approach her by day Sirius attempts to help the girl any way he can, even as a dog.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 14,835 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 9/13/2012 - Published: 9/3/2011 - Sirius B., OC
Building Bridges by Melethril reviews
Harry was proclaimed dead when he was two years old and ended up in an orphanage. But that was only the beginning of his journey. While trying to find his place in the world of magic, he never forgets those whom he views as family.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 30 - Words: 182,447 - Reviews: 2589 - Favs: 4,782 - Follows: 5,402 - Updated: 9/7/2012 - Published: 10/26/2010 - Harry P.
Harry's Hero by Silverfawkes reviews
Sequel to Sirius' Savior, Harry heads to Hogwarts what lies in store for him?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 38,997 - Reviews: 634 - Favs: 1,306 - Follows: 1,803 - Updated: 8/31/2012 - Published: 6/25/2011 - Harry P.
Truthfully by Salazarfalcon reviews
Loki had every intention of wreaking havoc upon Midgard the moment his suicide attempt had failed, it was just too bad that Midgard ended up being so distracting. Who knew that such a primitive society would have such a novel concept as therapy?
Thor - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 38 - Words: 129,315 - Reviews: 2191 - Favs: 2,869 - Follows: 1,316 - Updated: 8/12/2012 - Published: 2/27/2012 - Loki, Thor - Complete
Blackened Heart by Xo4UiWilL14xo reviews
Elise flocks with her brother James and his heroic friends and Regulus drowns in a sea of seriously wicked Slytherins. But maybe the two aren't as different as they appear-Maybe there's something far more treacherous and beautiful between the two.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 15 - Words: 48,408 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 8/11/2012 - Published: 7/12/2011 - Regulus B., OC
Lily's Changes by arekay reviews
When Harry is killed by Voldemort in book 7 he wakes up at Kings Cross Station and meets Lily instead of Dumbledore, and she's really angry with him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 86,841 - Reviews: 2251 - Favs: 5,496 - Follows: 3,081 - Updated: 6/28/2012 - Published: 5/15/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
Cheated By Death by L98N reviews
When Harry-Potter-geek Zaria gets run over by a train, she is only expecting the obvious...death. But it looks like mischievous fate has another thing in mind. Will this be a miracle or an inconvenience...? *Rated T to be safe*
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 31 - Words: 45,910 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 6/24/2012 - Published: 8/5/2011 - OC
Burning Bright by WhiskyFlower reviews
Zuko discovers that there is more to Jin than he once thought. R and R. Flames accepted!
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 27 - Words: 321,625 - Reviews: 233 - Favs: 148 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 6/12/2012 - Published: 3/5/2011 - Zuko, Jin
Deprived by The Crimson Lord reviews
On that fateful day, two Potters were born. One was destined to be the Boy-Who-Lived. The other was forgotten by the Wizarding World. Now, as the Triwizard Tournament nears, a strange boy is contracted to defend a beautiful girl.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 159,330 - Reviews: 3533 - Favs: 8,432 - Follows: 8,525 - Updated: 4/29/2012 - Published: 9/22/2011 - Harry P., Fleur D.
Child of Destruction by Mother-of-Monsters reviews
Pain is not the only burden John Watson carries. Sherlock isn't helpful in that respect. After all, the all-knowing detective doesn't believe in monsters. **Please do not redistribute my works to other sites such as goodreads or ebookstree without my express permission**
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Angst - Chapters: 21 - Words: 75,293 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 362 - Follows: 191 - Updated: 3/31/2012 - Published: 1/28/2012 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Paradise Lost by Neko-chan -Silvered Tongue reviews
With one question posed to the Sorting Hat, Harry Potter's life changes completely.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 96,214 - Reviews: 1684 - Favs: 4,179 - Follows: 4,810 - Updated: 3/23/2012 - Published: 1/20/2011 - Voldemort, Harry P.
Twas the Night of the Breaking Dawn Premier A Poem by ReginaRheims7711 reviews
It's Witchcraft vs. Vampires in this battle. Who will win? Well you can guess already can't you? The end will make you either laugh yourself to death or actually plan your own battle plans to kill the Cullens yourself.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 268 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Published: 12/30/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
Cold Thunder by Eggbert 3000 reviews
What if Zuko was different? What if he wasn't a hot headed and stubborn firebender with a major complex? What if.. AU
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 11 - Words: 23,875 - Reviews: 216 - Favs: 428 - Follows: 487 - Updated: 12/13/2011 - Published: 11/11/2011 - Zuko, Toph
I Can Help by Moony The SheWolf reviews
Faraya was abused as a child. She runs away and is encountered by Minerva McGonagall. Follow he through Hogwarts as she coops with change and bullying. What happens with one Mr. Lupin? Sorry for bad summary. Remus/OC Marauders' Era
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 267 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/3/2011 - Marauders, OC
All the sweetness of the world by T.E.D.S reviews trapped in this one little body. If only Bellatrix knew she was pregnant, she would never get caught and sent to Azkaban. But it's too late, and her baby lives with other relatives. OWN STORY - OWN TRANSLATION.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 60 - Words: 58,048 - Reviews: 309 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 11/30/2011 - Published: 5/30/2011 - Narcissa M., Lucius M. - Complete
Attack of the MarySues! by karabell-karaboo723 reviews
REPOST It's every bad Harry Potter fic you've ever read. Reading the books, Ebony, American Transfer students, Harry's siter, abudant OOCness and more. Dont like cruel parodies? Well don't read this. WARNING- This may destroy all faith left in hummanity.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 24,593 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 11/22/2011 - Published: 4/20/2011 - Harry P., Draco M.
Xerosis by Batsutousai reviews
Harry's world ends at the hands of those he'd once fought to save. An adult-Harry goes back to his younger self fic. Semi-super!Harry, Voldemort/Harry, SLASH-for the idiots
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 145,018 - Reviews: 2135 - Favs: 5,738 - Follows: 2,663 - Updated: 9/28/2011 - Published: 5/12/2011 - [Harry P., Voldemort] Hermione G., Barty C. Jr. - Complete
Shards of Time: The Master of Death by Shitsumeishi reviews
Harry Potter is just an eccentric school boy with some unusual talents. Lord Peverell-Black, on the other hand, is a magically and politically powerful man with the world at his fingertips and a war at his doorstep. Time travel, no pairings.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 66,085 - Reviews: 825 - Favs: 3,173 - Follows: 3,903 - Updated: 8/24/2011 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Harry P.
Airbender's Child: Fire by SCWLC reviews
Life can be very hard when you don't know who you can trust, and you have to include yourself as untrustworthy. Last in the trilogy beginning with Airbender's Child: Water, then Airbender's Child: Earth. There is now a follow-up called AC: Other Perspectives.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 59,048 - Reviews: 255 - Favs: 324 - Follows: 133 - Updated: 7/17/2011 - Published: 12/30/2010 - Zuko - Complete
His Own Man by Crunchysunrises reviews
In the station between Life and Death Harry makes a different choice. Now he is eleven again, nothing is going the same as before, and people are starting to ask questions, especially the Malfoys, the Hogwarts professors and, most worryingly, Mad-Eye Moody. Harry is beginning to suspect that he might not be up to this Master of Death business and everything that goes along with it.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 31 - Words: 147,481 - Reviews: 4871 - Favs: 10,696 - Follows: 12,185 - Updated: 1/2/2011 - Published: 10/19/2009 - Harry P.
Deceiving Appearances by Blind Author reviews
Oneshot, written for a kinkmeme prompt that essentially boiled down to: Moran doesn't think much of John Watson, until their paths cross and John beats the crap out of him. Featuring Moran being too overconfident, and John being a badass.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,315 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 969 - Follows: 93 - Published: 11/2/2010 - John W. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Quantum Leap by Seel'vor reviews
Harry Potter won the Second Blood War and defeated his enemies... and was left with nothing. Decades later, he contributes to the creation of a revolutionary new piece of technology and destroys the future in order to rewrite his own past...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 274,521 - Reviews: 4615 - Favs: 6,473 - Follows: 6,578 - Updated: 10/28/2010 - Published: 12/17/2007 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Champions by Thor's Shadow reviews
Harry takes a moment to help another Champion during the Second Task, and the unexpected aftermath forever changes his life.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 82,370 - Reviews: 2970 - Favs: 6,756 - Follows: 7,058 - Updated: 10/26/2010 - Published: 7/25/2010 - [Harry P., Fleur D.]
Haven by JadeMac2442 reviews
AU. Christopher Pike is on the crew of the ship that relieves Tarsus IV. He finds a young orphan Jim Kirk in a cell, and decides to adopt him. Very dark at first. READ the WARNINGS.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 19 - Words: 42,111 - Reviews: 938 - Favs: 1,156 - Follows: 1,409 - Updated: 8/31/2010 - Published: 10/26/2009 - J. Kirk, C. Pike
The Thief of Hogwarts by bluminous8 reviews
Summary: AU Young Harry learns to steal as he is fed up from his deprivation of his wants and needs by his guardians. A Thief is born in Privet Drive.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 105,046 - Reviews: 3662 - Favs: 7,912 - Follows: 7,607 - Updated: 6/22/2010 - Published: 7/7/2009 - Harry P.
Old Hearts Remember by salty-sarah reviews
AU: Blaise Zabini is the Black King, as his mother was the Black Widow, and behind his back they call him Black Death. But he may have finally met his match. Warnings for slash. Blaise/Harry. For my 200th reviewer Dreamers0rule0the0earth.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,731 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 1,141 - Follows: 411 - Updated: 5/28/2010 - Published: 4/30/2010 - Blaise Z., Harry P. - Complete
World Enough and Time by salty-sarah reviews
On the night four names are drawn from the Goblet of Fire instead of three, Viktor Krum spies the figure of young Harry Potter and makes a decision that will rock the entire wizarding world. Canon till the Tournament. Viktor/Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 31,238 - Reviews: 1017 - Favs: 4,809 - Follows: 1,469 - Updated: 4/27/2010 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Viktor K., Harry P. - Complete
A Magical World by Miranda Flairgold reviews
Last fic in the trilogy! Demons invaded Earth intent on enslaving all magical life. But they miscalculated...the Earthling's magic is stronger than they suspected, and far more dangerous. Now the survivors regroup in the new magical world, to fight back.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 31,170 - Reviews: 1710 - Favs: 2,969 - Follows: 3,046 - Updated: 11/3/2009 - Published: 8/20/2009
All The Dementors of Azkaban by LifeWriter reviews
AU PoA: When Luna Lovegood is condemned to Azkaban prison for her part in opening the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter is the first to protest. Minister Fudge is reluctant to comply, but then again he never really had a choice in the first place. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,603 - Reviews: 1010 - Favs: 5,450 - Follows: 1,056 - Published: 9/12/2009 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Combustion Countdown by snappleducated reviews
When Zuko’s burned, branded, scarred, Azula smiles because it’s the expression most familiar to her, and she doesn’t want to think about what she should be doing instead. — Azula, Zuko
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,755 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 706 - Follows: 56 - Published: 3/15/2009 - Azula, Zuko - Complete
Symbolism by Party in the Afterlife reviews
Their marriage was supposed to be symbol of hope, of unity, of renewal. But she was forced and he was only doing his duty...Toko
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 27,077 - Reviews: 380 - Favs: 287 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 9/29/2008 - Published: 5/15/2008 - Toph, Zuko - Complete
Season One Remix: Shirtless Zuko Style by Jakia reviews
20 situations that would have ended different had Zuko done it shirtless. [crackfic. not to be taken seriously. many, many pairings. humor]
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,905 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 289 - Follows: 38 - Published: 7/10/2006 - Zuko - Complete
Love Thy Enemy by RedNovember reviews
[ZK AU] The mighty Fire Empire rules the entire world, after they conquered it a century ago. Now, almost a hundred years later, a tiny tribe of rebels have sent Katara, an undercover assassin, to kill the Fire Emperor Zuko.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 136,905 - Reviews: 1922 - Favs: 1,896 - Follows: 779 - Updated: 3/26/2006 - Published: 7/17/2005 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
Invictus by opalish reviews
Harry Potter disappeared from Privet Drive when he was six years old. Now, ten years later, he's been found...and he's not about to be anyone's hero. ON HIATUS.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 92,894 - Reviews: 2491 - Favs: 3,055 - Follows: 1,934 - Updated: 11/21/2005 - Published: 1/22/2005 - Harry P.
A Mary Sue Alphabet by Irony-chan reviews
A's for Amanda Our hero's twin sister Got lost as a baby and Gosh, how he missed her...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,497 - Reviews: 2671 - Favs: 6,444 - Follows: 432 - Published: 1/12/2005 - Complete
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Why Twilight is not Better Than Harry Potter reviews
These are some of my response to the Harry Potter vs. Twilight debate
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,603 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 12/8/2011 - Published: 12/4/2011
Auraia reviews
What would have happened if Sirius Black had found his true love? Only problem is the love is one sided. Even more intresting is Kari's wand, what impact will it have on the story and the future.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,370 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/27/2011 - Published: 10/4/2011 - Sirius B., OC
A Dark Secret reviews
Desdemona comes from a dark household, only escaping when she is accepted into Hogwarts. Will the threat of her abusive parents stop her from living her life? Rated T for references to child abuse only.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,045 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/14/2011 - Published: 11/4/2011
Dobby's Past reviews
Dobby is THE BEST character in the whole series. Harry should have been stabbed instead! This is what Dobby's Life is Like at Hogwarts and at the Malfoy's. Poor Dobby. Short 406 word one-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 547 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/6/2011 - Dobby, Lucius M. - Complete