Author has written 4 stories for Halo, Code Geass, High School DxD/ハイスクールD×D, and Gate - Jietai Kare no Chi nite, Kaku Tatakeri.
Name- King Draconias (As far as you're concerned).
Age- Between the time I was born and until the day I die.
About Me- I am unrepentantly sarcastic at the best of times and if you're someone I find enjoyable to speak to you will likely have to double check to know whether or not something I just said is meant to be a joke or if I was serious. My sense of humor is extremely dry and I have almost no filter between my brain and my mouth which can cause the occasional misunderstanding. My sense of humor can also take extremely morbid turns at the most random times and my gallows humor isn't exactly something for the general public. I also tend to regularly joke about my own death to the point of it possibly being unhealthy. I am a very honest person simply because I see no point in lies that needlessly complicate things. If I don't like you odds are I won't interact with you much at all in order to minimize any potential confrontation, but if I like you I will probably be that little voice on your shoulder that bares a distinct resemblance to a tiny devil telling you to go for it and screw the consequences. Despite that, I genuinely care for my friends and family even if I am probably at the heart of most of the craziness that happens with them. I am a veritable fortress of contradictory personality traits, but I always try my best to stick to my principles because I cannot stand hypocrites who abandon their principles whenever they feel like it.
"Fun" Fact About Me: I have Asperger's Syndrome/High Functioning Autism. I was originally diagnosed when I was very young so I grew up with this as a fact of my life. It's always been a subtle, yet overarching part of my identity and because of that I really have little tolerance for people who say vaccines cause it. It isn't caused by vaccines, it's all in the wiring of the brain and it's a part of who I am. While it can be difficult sometimes navigating social interactions, I would not be who I am today without it and no matter how annoying it can be I would not change it for the world.
Personal Philosophy- I am a Pragmatic Agnostic Theist. What that means is actually pretty simple. An Agnostic is someone who is in-between being an Atheist (believing in no God(s) whatsoever) and being a Theist (believing in a higher power), but there are at least four different types of Agnostic. For the purposes of my explanation, I will just clarify the two versions of Agnostic I am.
A Pragmatic Agnostic doesn't see the question of a God or Gods existing as being anything other than purely academic since they believe that, should God(s) exist, it/they clearly don't seem to care about anyone on this planet since so many horrible things are always occurring. An Agnostic Theist on the other hand believes in the existence of a God or group of Gods, but doesn't lay claim to know just what kind of higher power exists. To simplify my explanation a little more, I believe that there is most likely something around that could be classified as a God or Gods, but I don't really feel that it will affect my life in any way until I'm dead. Although, I do have a more specific belief system that isn't completely what I just described (just look over the next paragraph if you're curious).
As far as I'm concerned all God(s) that are spoken about throughout history, the ones spoken about in the present, and those that will be spoken about in the future, already exist, and the God(s) you worship as well as any God(s) whose followers you have grievously harmed or killed, for reasons other than protecting those you love or innocents from immediate danger and self-defense, are the ones who judge you after your death. Atheists are automatically reincarnated into what they deserve based on what they did with their life. Agnostics are judged by the Higher Beings that they believe in and are judged based on how they lived their life and if they lived their life by the principles that they truly believed in. The Higher World, also known as the Heavens, is divided into sectors separated for each religion's God(s) to exist as well as the afterlives that they rule over. There are two Lower Worlds, one is known as the Underworld and the other is known as Hell. Depending on the severity of the crime committed by a Mortal Soul and whether or not they made up for their crime while they were alive, a soul has four options after they leave their Mortal Bodies. If they have successfully made up for the crime(s) they committed in life, they will be allowed to choose between reincarnation or living in their religion's afterlife. If they haven't made up for their crime(s) while they were alive, depending on the severity of the crime(s) and the soul's emotions toward the crime(s) (i.e whether or not they feel genuine regret for committing it/them or if their reasons for committing the crime are understandable.), they will be sent to either the Underworld or Hell. If they feel genuine regret for their crime(s) or their reasoning behind the committing of the crime(s) is understandable, the soul will be sent to the Underworld for a personalized punishment for a specific period of time and once that time is served the soul is reincarnated into the Mortal World to try again or very rarely, depending on the circumstances, the soul may have their punishment waived completely and be allowed to choose between their religion's afterlife or reincarnation. This process has no limit and as long as a soul doesn't commit a truly irredeemable crime with no remorse or reason they will be allowed to try an indefinite amount of times until they succeed and are allowed to enter the afterlife of their religion. However if a soul commits a truly irredeemable crime and feel absolutely no remorse for committing it and they had no understandable reasoning behind it, the soul is removed from the cycle of reincarnation, is barred from entering the Higher World forever, and they are sentenced to Hell for all eternity. The truly irredeemable crimes that can be committed are best left judged by Higher Beings because they are far less blinded by Mortal emotions than any Mortal and other Living Beings.
Political Ideology- I really, really don't like politics despite it being my major (I feel that it brings out the absolute worst in everyone involved). However, I feel it is my duty as a citizen to participate in the political process in order to make sure that my voice is heard as best I can. The beliefs I follow when it comes to politics average about center-left but range from left to center-right on the political "left-right" spectrum below.
Communist (Extreme Left)-Socialist (Far Left)-Progressive (Left)-Liberal (Center-Left)-Moderate (Center)-Conservative (Center-Right)-Populist (Right)-Libertarian/Anarchist (Far Right)-Fascist (Extreme Right)
Explanation for the Spectrum: Just to be clear, I don't believe that everyone fits in a neat little category when it comes to political belief systems. Instead I believe people fall into shades of some areas of the spectrum, as I do.
Hobbies- Watching sports (Football, Basketball, and Baseball in that order mostly), Playing video games, Reading (books and fanfiction), Watching TV (cartoons, anime, pretty much anything that catches my attention), Reading random things on TV Tropes (be sure to have a couple hours set aside should you ever go to that site, you will not finish quickly), Writing stories (when I have no homework and I am not suffering from Writer's Block), and relaxing (usually in the form of zoning out or sleeping).
Favorite Shows, Manga, & Light Novels (in no particular order)- Code Geass (R1, Akito the Exiled, Oz the Reflection, R2, & Nightmare of Nunnally), Spice and Wolf, Guilty Crown, Fate/Zero, Fate/Stay Night, Fate/Apocrypha, & Fate/Grand Order, Gate: Thus the JSDF Fought There, Sword Art Online, Fairy Tail, Pokemon (Diamond & Pearl was my favorite season), Digimon (favorite is Tamers), Shaman King, Dragon Ball (including Z and GT, haven't seen Super), Bleach, Highschool DxD, Inuyasha, Fullmetal Alchemist (both Brotherhood and the 2003 version), One Piece, Hellsing (prefer the OVAs, but the original anime wasn't too bad), Sonic X, El Tigre, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (the 2003 version), the DCAU (DC Animated Universe), Young Justice, The Batman, Batman Brave and the Bold, Teen Titans (the original series, Ultimate Spider-Man, Marvel's The Avengers, X-Men Evolution, Wolverine and the X-Men, the MAU (Marvel Animated Universe), Devil May Cry (the short series, though I do like the games. Except for DmC.), Soul Eater, Soul Eater NOT, Star Wars The Clone Wars, The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, @midnight with Chris Hardwick, Late Night With Seth Meyers, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, The Big Bang Theory, The Simpsons, Everybody Hates Chris, Gotham, Lucifer, The Librarians, and Law & Order.
Least Favorite Show- Naruto (The premise of the story was great, and I could handle a character as naive as Naruto. When he was twelve! It was around when Shippuden started that things just started to get ridiculous. It's one thing being an idealistic twelve year old in the first year of your career as a shinobi, but it's another thing being a naive fool after literally everything Naruto went through during Shippuden and the fact that he never seemed to develop any actual skills that weren't pulled from his ass along with his complete and utter lack of willingness to realize that some promises just couldn't, and shouldn't, be kept and that some people weren't worth fighting for. But what really, really pisses me off about him, is his complete lack of maturation in over three years of being trained by one of the most powerful people in the world and still being a complete fool! Yes, he had sparks of maturity throughout the series, but his complete denial and rejection of anything that he disagreed with and a belief he could change those things is just far too childish for someone who suffered as much as he did. Even Goku (one of the most childish protagonists, even as an adult) acted mature when he needed to, but Naruto just kept on being the most pathetically naive shinobi around no matter what happened).
(The above rant is actually why I tend to like Naruto Fanfictions, at least I can actually find some real creativity in some of them. I really did enjoy the series when it first began and I tried to stick with Shippuden to the end despite my growing dislike for just about everything going on in the storyline, but I just couldn't do it. It is through Naruto Fanfictions that I can find my original love of the series again.)
Favorite Movies (in no particular order)- The Princess Bride, The Addams Family (plus the sequel), The Nightmare Before Christmas, the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, Puss In Boots, Hotel Transylvania, Frozen, Men In Black (all of them), The Matrix Trilogy, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, All Harry Potter movies, All of the movies that make up the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe), the Night at the Museum movies, Space Jam, Rise of the Guardians (I love Jack Frost in that movie), The Star Wars movies, the new Star Trek movies, Runaway Locomon (a Digimon Tamers movie), The Librarians movies, The Simpsons Movie, The Batman vs. Dracula, Ghostbusters (the originals), Ice Age (all of them), Open Season (all of them), Back to the Future Trilogy, Kung Fu Panda movies, Deadpool, Zootopia, and most of the Marvel Animated movies and DC Animated movies.
Favorite Game Series' (in no particular order)- Pokemon (Colosseum, Gale of Darkness, Platinum, and Moon are my favorites), Assassin's Creed, Metal Gear, Devil May Cry (the original games), and Halo.
Favorite Books/Book Series' (in no particular order)- Dragon Rider, The Egypt Game, the Bunnicula series, the Magic Treehouse series, the Tales from the Odyssey series, The Boxcar Children series, Le Morte D'Arthur, The Once and Future King, The Book of Merlyn (not a typo, T.H. White actually spelled it that way), The Inheritance Cycle, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, The Kane Chronicles, The Heroes of Olympus, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard, The Kingdom Keepers, the Lionboy Trilogy, The Last Dragon Chronicles, Deltora Quest series, the Stoneheart Trilogy, and the Harry Potter series.
Bands I Like (in no particular order)- Coldplay, Greek Fire, The Script, Breaking Benjamin, Three Days Grace, Green Day, The Cab, Hollywood Undead, The Showdown, Thousand Foot Krutch, Fall Out Boy, Fort Minor, Escape The Fate, Infected Mushroom, Skillet, Linkin Park, Les Friction, Red, Nickelback, Globus, Sabaton, Dream Evil, Imagine Dragons, 3 Doors Down, Rise Against, Bring Me The Horizon, Manowar, HammerFall, Rhapsody Of Fire, Muse, DragonForce, Starset, Simple Plan, 30 Seconds To Mars, My Chemical Romance, Dixie Chicks, Train, Within Temptation.
Favorite Teams (in no particular order)- Chicago Bulls, Milwaukee Bucks, New York Mets, Atlanta Braves, Milwaukee Brewers, Philadelphia Eagles, Miami Dolphins, Green Bay Packers, and Wisconsin Badgers (Basketball & Football).
Favorite Holidays- 4th of July/Independence Day, Halloween, Winter Solstice, Christmas, New Years
Pairings I Like/Dislike
Pokemon (Anime & Games)
AshxDawn (I thought they were really cute together and I loved the Diamond & Pearl seasons. I feel the two of them really had some chemistry with each other.)
WesxRui (Admittedly, Wes didn't talk, but that just leaves things open to everyone's imagination. And that's partly why I like this pairing, because their are so many different possibilities with what can be done with the two of them.)
TakatoxRika (The two of them make a really interesting pairing in my opinion. Over time their relationship has evolved from being enemies to being close friends.)
HenryxJeri (Henry can be a very sympathetic person, and with all the trauma that Jeri has gone through, I think that they could really grow to care for each other.)
RyoxRika (Ryo is a flaky person at best. Him and Rika wouldn't really get along much and the fact that he's very self entered makes me doubt that the two of them would ever get along.)
Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion R1/R2
Lelouch (Zero) x Anya (I think that they were rather close when they were kids, considering the fact that Anya had a picture of a young Lelouch on her phone, and I think it would be an interesting pairing.)
Lelouch (Zero) x C.C. (I really liked their relationship in canon and I found them to be very interesting, especially since Lelouch was probably the closest relationship that C.C. had in a very long time. I think that this pairing is something that has great potential and it is definitely something about it that seems very captivating.)
Lelouch (Zero) x Kallen (Kallen's great loyalty to Lelouch, along with her feelings for him, make this pairing a very interesting one in my opinion.)
Lelouch (Zero) x Kaguya (Kaguya is such a little hellion, not to mention the intellect she must have to run a corporate conglomerate at her age, and I think she matches up amusingly with a large ham like Lelouch.)
Lelouch (Zero) x Milly (Since Milly is only one year older than Lelouch and her family sponsored his mother when she was one of the first Knightmare Pilots, I'm almost positive they knew each other when they were children and I think that their dynamic when they are in school is very funny. I think that this would be a very sweet pairing.)
Lelouch (Zero) x Shirley (Despite Shirely's lack of knowledge regarding Lelouch's true nature, both as a Prince and as Zero later on, I just found her to be a very refreshing breath compared to many other protagonist love interests in that she truly did fall in love with Lelouch over time and she didn't just bend over and do whatever he asked. She had a really sweet and kind personality that, in contrast with Lelouch's cold demeanor, seemed to melt the walls surrounding Lelouch's heart away over time. I just find this pairing to be a very sweet one in my opinion.)
Lelouch (Zero) x Jiang Lihua (Tianzi) (I think that, after spending a lot of time around Kaguya and as long as she didn't end up with Xingke, Lihua could really grow to like Zero, and later Lelouch, eventually.)
Lelouch (Zero) x Nunnally (Regardless of anything else about this pairing, I think that the love between Lelouch and Nunnally is something very beautiful and I just can't help but like this pairing.)
Suzaku x Euphemia (Despite their naivete, I think that the two of them were very sweet together and I really enjoyed the relationship between the two of them.)
Xingke x Jiang Lihua (Tianzi) (Because Xingke is older, I don't think that he is necessarily romantically attracted to the young Lihua, who is only like thirteen or fourteen in R2. I think what he feels for her is a great devotion for her sparing his life, but he could definitely grow to fall in love with her once she matures.)
http: / / drgospel . pbworks . com / w / page / 18257470 / FrontPage (Feel free to ignore this, I only have this link put here on the off chance Daneel Rush decides to update and I need the link.)
I don't actually believe in this kinda thing usually, (Just to be clear what I don't usually believe in is the whole repost or have bad luck thing not horoscopes, those things can be scarily accurate) but I figure it's probably not a good idea to risk four years of bad luck on the off chance I'm wrong.
AQUARIUS - The Slut (1/20-2/18) Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to Have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
PISCES - The Addict (2/19-3/20) EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
LEO - The Cool One (7/23-8/22) Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, Fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you'll ever meet! Very beautiful. Amazing. however not the kind of person you wanna mess with... u might end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
CANCER - The Smart One. (6/22-7/22) Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being In long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
ARIES- The Irresistible One (3/21-4/19) Nice Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
SAGITTARIUS-The One that Waits (11/22-12/21) Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always Wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 Years of bad luck if you do not repost.
TAURUS- The Aggressive One (4/20-5/20) MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
LIBRA - The Partner for Life (9/23-10/22) Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
CAPRICORN - The Cute One (12/22-1/19) Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. EXTREMELY SEXY. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Has lots of friends. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Also not a fighter, but if they have to, they will also knock the lights out of you if it comes down to it… Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
SCORPIO - The Gorgeous One (10/23-11/21) Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Best kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. Amazing in bed. A caring person. One of a kind.Gorgeous Smile.Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
VIRGO- The Promiscuous One (8/23-9/22) Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Very weird and sometimes insane. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
GEMINI - The Liar (5/21-6/21) Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships. Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
Mental Hospital Phone Menu
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital! Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
(I just thought this was kind of funny, but you shouldn’t take the jokes too seriously. Mental health is a serious issue for the people who have to deal with it.)
25 reasons I owe my Mom
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of DIFFUSION. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
(I love this thing! In all seriousness though, I owe my Mom everything so I think that this funny little post is a nice little thanks for everything she's done for me. All the people who love and appreciate their moms, feel free to copy and paste this on your profile.)
Obituary of Mr. Common Sense
We mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him pass this on. If not join the majority and do nothing.
(Just thought this was a little amusing since common sense doesn't seem to be all that common these days.)
A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day.
Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he opened his laptop and sent his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her email address and sent the e-mail to the wrong address, without realizing his error.
In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been "called home to glory" following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail expecting messages from relatives and friends.
Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. Hearing the crash, the widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother, and read the e-mail still on the screen.
To: My Loving Wife From: Your Departed Husband Subject: I've Arrived!
I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. It sure is hot down here!
(Ah, marital misunderstandings can't get much funnier than this!)
The passenger tapped the cab driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the sidewalk, and stopped inches from a department store window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mister, don't ever do that again. You scared me half to death!"
The passenger apologized and said he didn't realize that a little tap could scare him so much.
The driver replied, "You're right. I'm sorry, really it's not your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a hearse for 25 years."
(I love this! In all seriousness though, I think the cab driver reacted exactly as he should have. You really don't want your passenger tapping you on the shoulder if you're driving a hearse.)
The Situation in Hell
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
(Gotta love professors with a sense of humor, they make college so much more fun!)
"Knowledge without power is useless. Power without knowledge is meaningless. Knowledge of how to gain and maintain power is priceless." - Me
"A life without money is difficult. A life without love is full of sorrow. A life with money alone is empty. A life with love alone is meaningful but harsh. A life with both can be meaningful and fulfilled." - Me
"Bullshit is everywhere... and the best defense against bullshit is vigilance." - Jon Stewart (Host of the Daily Show until August 6th, 2015)
"Three can keep a secret, if two are dead." - Ben Franklin
"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence." - George Washington
"The will of the people shall be the law of the land." - Robert M. LaFollette Sr.
Active Story Arcs
Code Geass: Zero's Revolution
The Fall & Rise
The Sovereigns of the Battlefield
The Knights of War
Rias' Black Knight